WEBVTT 00:00.091 --> 00:04.013 [SPEAKER_00]: Hi, it's me, Ania, and welcome back to cozy room podcast. 00:05.573 --> 00:06.954 [SPEAKER_01]: Is that fam day? 00:07.734 --> 00:16.358 [SPEAKER_01]: Shout out to all the step families and the blended families, because the people that you vetted and made family are special people. 00:17.132 --> 00:31.424 [SPEAKER_01]: because based on your standards, values and experiences, the people you picked are in a better position to be around you because they went through your vetting process of what type of family you want. 00:32.705 --> 00:37.849 [SPEAKER_01]: Step-fam-day is the date to celebrate bonds that were created. 00:38.468 --> 00:40.288 [SPEAKER_01]: to have blended families. 00:41.469 --> 00:45.390 [SPEAKER_01]: September 16th, hello. 00:46.550 --> 00:49.150 [SPEAKER_01]: Mark this down here, calendar is celebrated, okay? 00:50.131 --> 00:53.911 [SPEAKER_01]: Be appreciative of people who came into your life and made it better. 00:54.592 --> 00:58.972 [SPEAKER_01]: And step parents' week is June 1st through the 7th, okay? 00:59.133 --> 01:05.694 [SPEAKER_01]: Just for FYI, a lot of people give blended families a bad look. 01:06.683 --> 01:11.527 [SPEAKER_01]: Some people give the idea of being a step parent. 01:11.787 --> 01:22.916 [SPEAKER_01]: A lot of chit chat in a negative way because they feel like you're getting something of lesser quality because it's not your biological family. 01:23.851 --> 01:47.748 [SPEAKER_01]: single moms shouldn't date is always thrown around single that should just focus on their kids is always thrown around as if these people do not deserve to have relationships with similar goals towards building a family is like you're left with the scar in your scar is the fact that you had kids with someone else and that relationship didn't work 01:48.523 --> 01:52.606 [SPEAKER_01]: They'll also say no man wants to women with kids, which is a lie. 01:52.906 --> 01:56.569 [SPEAKER_01]: A lot of men do not mind women with kids. 01:56.729 --> 02:03.233 [SPEAKER_01]: It's about can this work, will this work, does this have the willingness to make it work? 02:03.774 --> 02:05.535 [SPEAKER_01]: And a lot of people honestly don't. 02:06.176 --> 02:09.038 [SPEAKER_01]: But there are some people out here who do. 02:09.058 --> 02:10.719 [SPEAKER_01]: And that is successful. 02:11.860 --> 02:16.403 [SPEAKER_01]: A lot of people will say no women wants a man with a baby mom. 02:18.185 --> 02:32.809 [SPEAKER_01]: In reality, as long as the relationship between you and your child's mom is cordial respectful and has boundaries already preset and they have their own thing going on. 02:32.869 --> 02:39.410 [SPEAKER_01]: You have your own thing going on and it's respectful and there can be healthy, cold parenting. 02:39.510 --> 02:45.272 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't care about you and your past relationship and the fact that you're having 02:46.232 --> 02:52.716 [SPEAKER_01]: That has never bothered me, but some people make it seem like, oh, that's automatically going to be a problem because this person exists. 02:53.997 --> 03:12.149 [SPEAKER_01]: I think being a step parent and having a blended family is about where you are as a parent, where you are mentally, stability-wise, financially, emotionally, and spiritually, because of those things are not set for the two people who are trying to make a blended family 03:15.770 --> 03:19.317 [SPEAKER_01]: You have to initiate your own balance before that person dot there. 03:20.542 --> 03:26.644 [SPEAKER_01]: You're on your own, having kids is already a lot on your plate. 03:27.264 --> 03:43.049 [SPEAKER_01]: To add another person to your life and vice versa that also has kids, you have to provide room on your plate for another person and their time that they need and bonds that need to be created. 03:43.469 --> 03:46.430 [SPEAKER_01]: I think a lot of people have a full plate already. 03:47.190 --> 03:51.211 [SPEAKER_01]: refuse to sacrifice something on their plate to make room for someone else. 03:51.651 --> 03:55.452 [SPEAKER_01]: But they want it to work and they want you to be happy and that's not realistic. 03:55.612 --> 03:56.833 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not going to work like that. 03:58.113 --> 04:07.576 [SPEAKER_01]: You have to be sure about people that you bring into your children's lives, especially when it's about exposing your family. 04:08.150 --> 04:18.781 [SPEAKER_01]: When two adults come together, it includes kids from previous relationships, or when those two adults have a new kid together, it's going to be a blended family. 04:19.462 --> 04:23.906 [SPEAKER_01]: And there is nothing wrong with two adults who have previous failed relationships. 04:24.927 --> 04:31.454 [SPEAKER_01]: Being admired by somebody else, being cared for by somebody else, and being valued by someone new. 04:32.366 --> 04:40.890 [SPEAKER_01]: You have to understand the family is priority and this person has to understand how your family dynamic works. 04:41.490 --> 04:47.873 [SPEAKER_01]: New connections, healthier love, share goals, and a better support is always a green light for me. 04:48.513 --> 04:51.494 [SPEAKER_01]: But I'm not going to see her and be like, you know what? 04:53.315 --> 05:03.079 [SPEAKER_01]: Talking to somebody that has kids and you have kids that's easy, it's not easy, it's really about balance and you truly find out if somebody is really ready for that or not. 05:03.779 --> 05:16.723 [SPEAKER_01]: Meaning someone with kids is risky and it will always have its awkward moments but you have to find the respectfulness in it and the honesty moments in it and just be real. 05:17.624 --> 05:21.265 [SPEAKER_01]: If it means a better role model for your children, that's a plus. 05:22.052 --> 05:24.194 [SPEAKER_01]: kids need structure and a village. 05:24.414 --> 05:29.177 [SPEAKER_01]: And if you found someone to be a part of your village, great. 05:29.797 --> 05:36.302 [SPEAKER_01]: And if you thought you found someone to be a part of your village and it just didn't work, that's the risk right there. 05:36.402 --> 05:36.862 [SPEAKER_01]: Because 05:38.163 --> 05:50.872 [SPEAKER_01]: More than likely that person has spent time building a relationship with your child, and if you all break up, it's not like you got married and they have access to your child to say hi or your child can say hi. 05:51.493 --> 05:55.496 [SPEAKER_01]: That's where it gets kind of awkward, so you have to be sure when you introduce your kids. 05:56.617 --> 06:03.622 [SPEAKER_01]: Healthy emotional bonds are needed for children to build confidence and safeness, okay? 06:07.402 --> 06:10.445 [SPEAKER_01]: and have a blended family to have that go for it. 06:11.246 --> 06:14.288 [SPEAKER_01]: Financially, both of you take the way off each other. 06:14.349 --> 06:19.994 [SPEAKER_01]: You should emotionally you take the way off each other and mentally you take the way off each other. 06:20.754 --> 06:24.178 [SPEAKER_01]: And if that's not the case, why are you blended families? 06:25.839 --> 06:32.005 [SPEAKER_01]: I think you have to learn to respect each other's boundaries and build and you have to communicate well. 06:32.448 --> 06:38.350 [SPEAKER_01]: and everybody has to be on the same page as to why we're here and why we're doing this and why we're trying to make this work. 06:38.890 --> 06:41.631 [SPEAKER_01]: But I think there's nothing wrong with step-parents. 06:42.431 --> 06:48.593 [SPEAKER_01]: I think there's nothing wrong with added village, and I think there's nothing wrong with blended family. 06:48.653 --> 06:53.755 [SPEAKER_01]: So, to y'all enjoy step-family day. 06:54.635 --> 06:56.836 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for checking out Closie One podcast, peace.