WEBVTT 00:00.071 --> 00:02.575 [SPEAKER_00]: I seriously think that we're in like a decision epidemic. 00:02.635 --> 00:05.439 [SPEAKER_00]: We're like everybody's just waiting for somebody else to make a decision about something. 00:05.459 --> 00:08.082 [SPEAKER_02]: You have access to way to many people. 00:08.102 --> 00:11.327 [SPEAKER_00]: My best friend is getting married and I am not included in the Friday party. 00:11.487 --> 00:14.732 [SPEAKER_00]: This is T. Did Adam date choice of on? 00:14.752 --> 00:15.433 [SPEAKER_00]: I played the best. 00:26.072 --> 00:53.601 [SPEAKER_00]: Guys, and we're back with a mini advice segment episode to give you guys some content What we're gonna find we gotta keep the girls fed see now we're putting it head like this is good Normally we'd be like oh fuck like we're all traveling we can't do it, but here we are we're giving you something like better than nothing Right, so we're gonna do a little advice segment episode little mini up a little mini up your friday Welcome back to another episode a matchman in Manhattan with Katie Colby and Adam the mini advice segment special Woo 00:54.541 --> 00:56.223 [SPEAKER_00]: We who, all right. 00:56.463 --> 00:58.526 [SPEAKER_00]: We're starting off with subject. 00:58.866 --> 01:01.949 [SPEAKER_00]: This is actually timely because we went to a wedding this past weekend, so I think this is going on. 01:02.910 --> 01:06.074 [SPEAKER_00]: Advice segment not included in the wedding party is the subject. 01:07.112 --> 01:12.896 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey Katie Colby and Adam, looking for some advice on whether or not you would confront the situation or just let it be. 01:13.436 --> 01:16.779 [SPEAKER_00]: Long story short, my high school best friend is the cousin of my boyfriend. 01:17.279 --> 01:21.902 [SPEAKER_00]: The best friend is the one who introduced us in high school and we've now been together for almost eight years. 01:22.642 --> 01:25.885 [SPEAKER_00]: My best friend is getting married and I am not included in the bridal party. 01:26.305 --> 01:33.170 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm struggling with the decision of if it's worth it to bring up that I'm hurt by the situation or if I should just let it go for the sake of peace. 01:34.090 --> 01:38.651 [SPEAKER_00]: Additional details, I'm a girl and my high school best friend is a guy we are all in our mid 20s. 01:38.771 --> 01:47.194 [SPEAKER_00]: The biggest factor here is my best friend lived out of the country for four years, and when he moved back to the U.S., he moved a few hours away to live with his now fiancé. 01:48.034 --> 01:52.155 [SPEAKER_00]: So that is obviously caused distance between us, but I've always still considered him my best friend. 01:53.376 --> 01:56.696 [SPEAKER_00]: Although it seems now, although it seems now, although it seems now. 02:00.984 --> 02:05.528 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just his cousin's girlfriend, rather than both his cousin's girlfriend and his best friend. 02:06.168 --> 02:14.175 [SPEAKER_00]: Also to add, my boyfriend is a groom's man, there's a female groom's man, so it's not an issue of only wanting guys on the groom's side, if like that's good context or awful. 02:14.776 --> 02:22.643 [SPEAKER_00]: Lastly, his fiance mentioned that they were struggling because she has more bridesmaids and he does groom's men, so it's not an issue of keeping things equal and numbers. 02:23.344 --> 02:25.145 [SPEAKER_00]: She also invited me to go dress shopping. 02:26.386 --> 02:30.230 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that means with her, with her best friend, Sister and his mom. 02:30.991 --> 02:40.619 [SPEAKER_00]: I think the situation is particularly hard because my boyfriend and I plan on getting engaged and married in the next year or so as well, so this is not just my best friend's family, but it's also my future in loss. 02:41.200 --> 02:41.901 [SPEAKER_00]: What would you do? 02:42.021 --> 02:47.826 [SPEAKER_00]: Would you bring up in some way that you're hurt by not being included or just decide to put your feelings aside and let it go? 02:49.187 --> 02:51.870 [SPEAKER_00]: This is T. That is T. In a half. 02:53.393 --> 02:55.935 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, at first I was thinking it must be a numbers thing. 02:55.975 --> 02:56.195 [SPEAKER_01]: Same. 02:56.355 --> 03:01.059 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, a numbers with like, you want equal girls and guys, some people do, right? 03:01.319 --> 03:06.442 [SPEAKER_01]: But then when she clarified that there's, first of all, a female groomsman already. 03:07.743 --> 03:12.247 [SPEAKER_01]: And then also uneven numbers with girls and guys and it doesn't seem like the bride cares about that. 03:12.747 --> 03:13.968 [SPEAKER_01]: This is feeling very personal. 03:14.888 --> 03:15.149 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 03:15.549 --> 03:16.790 [SPEAKER_00]: I have an opinion on this personally. 03:18.038 --> 03:21.380 [SPEAKER_02]: I wouldn't say anything, even though you're going to have a grudge forever. 03:21.400 --> 03:24.021 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, you know, come up at some point. 03:24.801 --> 03:28.783 [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like, but, well, personally, I wouldn't say anything. 03:28.823 --> 03:30.404 [SPEAKER_01]: They're not having a role in your wedding. 03:30.744 --> 03:31.204 [SPEAKER_01]: Clearly. 03:31.585 --> 03:32.825 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 03:33.005 --> 03:35.086 [SPEAKER_00]: I was on the same boat of not saying anything. 03:35.326 --> 03:35.947 [SPEAKER_00]: Because also like, 03:36.607 --> 03:38.068 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, this is their wedding. 03:38.409 --> 03:49.337 [SPEAKER_00]: They made deliberate choices and even though you're not happy with them when they make you upset, totally valid to have those feelings, but you can't make somebody else's event like this. 03:49.537 --> 03:57.384 [SPEAKER_02]: And also think about it, you don't want an invitation or to show up to a party you weren't invited to. 03:58.184 --> 03:58.665 [SPEAKER_00]: Exactly. 03:58.945 --> 04:02.988 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, yeah, you don't want to be begging in them for them to be like, okay, you can just be in it. 04:03.028 --> 04:04.790 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, you don't want to be in it now anyway. 04:04.850 --> 04:05.190 [SPEAKER_00]: Totally. 04:05.510 --> 04:17.891 [SPEAKER_01]: like what do they like if they say oh yeah like you can be in it like what are gonna do go be in it like no right like then you're gonna feel weird but i would take this as an indication of like i would take this as what's the word like 04:20.247 --> 04:21.167 [SPEAKER_01]: This means something. 04:21.247 --> 04:21.968 [SPEAKER_01]: This is meaningful. 04:21.988 --> 04:24.008 [SPEAKER_00]: It's assembled what the relationship is. 04:24.068 --> 04:28.369 [SPEAKER_01]: Which is a rude awakening kind of sucky and you don't deserve this. 04:28.389 --> 04:28.809 [SPEAKER_00]: Totally. 04:28.909 --> 04:32.991 [SPEAKER_02]: But it's also hard because the bride invited her to go dress shopping. 04:33.051 --> 04:34.531 [SPEAKER_02]: They obviously value her. 04:35.451 --> 04:36.552 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm really confused. 04:36.572 --> 04:44.714 [SPEAKER_01]: Because the thing is her, the listener, the listener's boyfriend is the group's men. 04:45.574 --> 04:45.794 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 04:46.634 --> 04:49.075 [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe they're going to ask her to officiate the wedding. 04:49.405 --> 04:51.645 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you'll have a reading or something. 04:51.725 --> 04:54.546 [SPEAKER_01]: Like it's really insane that they're not involving you at all. 04:54.926 --> 04:55.286 [SPEAKER_01]: Totally. 04:55.346 --> 04:58.727 [SPEAKER_01]: Like aside from just inviting you to the dress appointment. 04:58.767 --> 04:59.267 [SPEAKER_01]: Like what? 04:59.407 --> 04:59.647 [SPEAKER_01]: What? 05:00.207 --> 05:01.287 [SPEAKER_01]: I am livid for you. 05:02.367 --> 05:03.108 [SPEAKER_00]: Same, I'd be passive. 05:03.148 --> 05:03.768 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm livid. 05:05.428 --> 05:06.668 [SPEAKER_01]: High school best friend. 05:07.448 --> 05:14.670 [SPEAKER_01]: And that this is also the guy, the high school best friend, is also the one who introduced her and her boyfriend and you have so much lore. 05:14.730 --> 05:16.630 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm so confused why you're not involved in this. 05:17.178 --> 05:22.842 [SPEAKER_02]: Especially because there is another female in his Grimsman party. 05:23.062 --> 05:32.670 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no, I'm like live it, but honestly, I think it's it would make you would be a stronger person to not bring this up because it's like at the end of the day. 05:32.690 --> 05:36.653 [SPEAKER_01]: It is their wedding day They can do what they want right whatever, but don't forget it. 05:37.153 --> 05:43.438 [SPEAKER_01]: Don't forget that this happened Put on a brave happy face have a good day have a drink 05:44.341 --> 05:45.682 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, just have a good day. 05:45.782 --> 05:48.123 [SPEAKER_02]: Honestly, it's better to not be. 05:48.203 --> 05:52.605 [SPEAKER_02]: It's got a nice to not be in the party, because then you get to have yourself a day. 05:52.645 --> 05:53.405 [SPEAKER_01]: You're just a guest. 05:53.445 --> 05:55.566 [SPEAKER_01]: You don't have all these special obligations. 05:55.586 --> 05:59.548 [SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to buy a dress that's like the same as six other girls. 05:59.568 --> 05:59.728 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 05:59.788 --> 06:11.173 [SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, see it as a blessing in disguise, but also don't forget that this happened, because this will, like, you should, you know, keep this in mind when you're planning your wedding. 06:12.154 --> 06:16.300 [SPEAKER_01]: That these people clearly like don't value you in a way which sucks, but 06:19.243 --> 06:20.104 [SPEAKER_00]: the forks in the road. 06:20.364 --> 06:21.785 [SPEAKER_00]: Don't you need it to end to in life? 06:21.845 --> 06:25.768 [SPEAKER_01]: This needed to happen for you to now like find some better friends. 06:26.428 --> 06:27.149 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you know. 06:27.749 --> 06:28.309 [SPEAKER_00]: Totally, right? 06:29.470 --> 06:30.771 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, okay, onto the next. 06:31.171 --> 06:31.892 [SPEAKER_01]: On to the next. 06:32.432 --> 06:33.033 [SPEAKER_01]: Can I read one? 06:33.293 --> 06:33.653 [SPEAKER_00]: Of course. 06:33.793 --> 06:34.273 [SPEAKER_01]: Do you mind? 06:34.293 --> 06:34.774 [SPEAKER_01]: Do you mind? 06:34.794 --> 06:35.034 [SPEAKER_01]: Do you mind? 06:35.054 --> 06:36.155 [SPEAKER_01]: My terribly, this one's about you. 06:36.175 --> 06:37.576 [SPEAKER_01]: So you can't read it by yourself. 06:37.816 --> 06:38.616 [SPEAKER_00]: I only guys all as well. 06:39.697 --> 06:43.640 [SPEAKER_00]: He was like, I definitely want to chose. 06:44.400 --> 06:45.121 [SPEAKER_01]: Hello Adam. 06:45.801 --> 06:48.083 [SPEAKER_01]: And then it's in front of the seas and KDN Colby. 06:48.583 --> 06:50.984 [SPEAKER_01]: So we're like barely in one of the second years that is it. 06:51.004 --> 06:54.345 [SPEAKER_01]: It's as hello Adam, parentheses and Katie and Katie. 06:54.365 --> 06:54.725 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey girl. 06:55.126 --> 07:01.848 [SPEAKER_01]: I was here today's episode and something connected for me when Colby mentioned that Adam didn't know Madonna was still alive. 07:02.908 --> 07:08.731 [SPEAKER_01]: I also listened to the new Lost Cultureistas episode with guest Troy Sivan on at this week. 07:09.311 --> 07:12.932 [SPEAKER_01]: On that episode Troy mentions how he won on a few dates with a man who worked in 07:15.533 --> 07:21.699 [SPEAKER_01]: Troy brought up Sabrina and Madonna to his finance man and the guy said, I didn't even know she was still alive. 07:22.280 --> 07:26.664 [SPEAKER_01]: I know this is probably a long shot, but it felt too crazy for both of these things to happen in one week. 07:26.945 --> 07:30.048 [SPEAKER_01]: For me to not ask, did Adam date Troy survive? 07:30.588 --> 07:36.814 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, if it's true, and Adam doesn't want to share with everyone I would love to hear back just to me, and I promise to keep it a secret. 07:37.035 --> 07:39.237 [SPEAKER_01]: If it isn't true, I would still just love to know. 07:39.769 --> 07:40.930 [SPEAKER_00]: I played the fair. 07:41.130 --> 07:41.691 [SPEAKER_00]: Just kidding. 07:41.711 --> 07:43.433 [SPEAKER_00]: Just kidding. 07:43.493 --> 07:43.933 [SPEAKER_00]: Just kidding. 07:43.953 --> 07:44.294 [SPEAKER_00]: Just kidding. 07:44.314 --> 07:44.654 [SPEAKER_00]: Just kidding. 07:45.114 --> 07:45.875 [SPEAKER_00]: I did not treat. 07:46.055 --> 07:47.176 [SPEAKER_00]: Date choice of on. 07:47.377 --> 07:48.598 [SPEAKER_02]: You see him on dating apps. 07:48.738 --> 07:49.999 [SPEAKER_00]: I see him literally on Ryan. 07:50.039 --> 07:51.421 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not getting all the time. 07:52.542 --> 07:53.923 [SPEAKER_00]: And for some, I keep exiting him. 07:54.043 --> 07:56.305 [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe he's like the gay Drew Starkey. 07:56.706 --> 07:59.528 [SPEAKER_02]: Drew Starkey comes up for me all the time. 07:59.549 --> 08:00.690 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know that it is. 08:01.210 --> 08:02.311 [SPEAKER_02]: The guy from outer banks. 08:02.431 --> 08:03.972 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, the guy is from outer banks. 08:04.052 --> 08:05.712 [SPEAKER_02]: Not chistokes. 08:05.812 --> 08:07.393 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, yes, like bus cut. 08:07.733 --> 08:08.554 [SPEAKER_00]: Got it got it. 08:09.014 --> 08:13.436 [SPEAKER_00]: Troy just like always pops up though on on my dating apps like non-stop. 08:13.777 --> 08:14.757 [SPEAKER_00]: But we've never matched. 08:15.437 --> 08:18.819 [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's just a common thing that a lot of men don't realize that Madonna still alive. 08:19.139 --> 08:19.600 [SPEAKER_00]: You think so? 08:20.620 --> 08:25.983 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I feel like if I asked Jack is Madonna still alive, he would probably be like, hmm, not sure. 08:27.404 --> 08:28.985 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but she is still alive, right? 08:29.025 --> 08:30.467 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, she is absolutely still alive. 08:30.487 --> 08:32.328 [SPEAKER_00]: Like on the side, I was like, did she die in the time? 08:32.368 --> 08:34.510 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just stating someone like 40 years younger than her two. 08:34.550 --> 08:35.912 [SPEAKER_01]: So she is very much alive. 08:35.932 --> 08:36.512 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's just say that. 08:36.632 --> 08:38.053 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, she's kind of a gay icon though. 08:38.073 --> 08:39.415 [SPEAKER_00]: I think most of these know that she's alive. 08:40.636 --> 08:42.057 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's just like maybe not a thing. 08:43.859 --> 08:48.583 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, she isn't icon in general, but we have been, unfortunately, knock on wood, losing a lot of... 08:49.103 --> 08:52.885 [SPEAKER_01]: Losing a lot of the music greats recently totally rest in peace dollar porn. 08:53.065 --> 09:11.431 [SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, I needed to read that one You know choice of on is like not what you'd expect like he looks like this little Twinkie like Twig boy, but he's like a power-top Yeah, yeah, he's like I mean he's hot You think so I think he's really had a glow up like I was well I just didn't want to miss songs the other day What was it rush? 09:13.393 --> 09:23.341 [SPEAKER_01]: Feel the rush and like in the album artwork, I was like he's looking good very handsome Yeah, anyway Do you have another question at him? 09:23.861 --> 09:29.165 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you want me to read the the sex of the boyfriend or had sex with my brothers be enough? 09:29.205 --> 09:33.229 [SPEAKER_01]: I would not sex like the boyfriend Dear match made. 09:33.269 --> 09:34.049 [SPEAKER_01]: What does it mean? 09:35.371 --> 09:36.091 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, you do this one. 09:36.211 --> 09:39.254 [SPEAKER_01]: It's it's do you see the one hinge spark myth or not? 09:39.534 --> 09:40.695 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you want to do one of the ones you favorite in? 09:41.732 --> 09:46.417 [SPEAKER_01]: Hey Katie Colby and Adam, love you all so much, I needed to bait settled in some advice. 09:46.938 --> 09:53.746 [SPEAKER_01]: My friends and I discussed recently how it feels impossible to get butterflies, quote, the spark or true excitement about a person from my first-hand state. 09:54.246 --> 09:59.852 [SPEAKER_01]: We feel no-hinged state is ever as electric as the anticipation of the meeting IRL to the first-day pipeline. 10:00.513 --> 10:08.701 [SPEAKER_01]: If you do feel as spark in a first-hinged state, is that truly a spark, or just the reprieve of the date not being another semi-ocard meeting of a stranger that hinge-dates commonly are? 10:09.121 --> 10:13.205 [SPEAKER_01]: Would love to know your thoughts, so she's asking like, is it possible to feel as spark on day one? 10:13.846 --> 10:16.929 [SPEAKER_01]: I just had this conversation with my friends last week in between the two hinge-dates. 10:17.409 --> 10:22.414 [SPEAKER_01]: Hinge-date one was fine, nice guy, attractive normal convo, but nothing making you want to call your friends on the drive home. 10:22.874 --> 10:23.815 [SPEAKER_01]: He seems like a good guy. 10:23.875 --> 10:30.403 [SPEAKER_01]: I just feel like Henshade can be a bit sterile because it's a forced meeting of strangers with the idea of something romantic weighing over you. 10:30.944 --> 10:34.368 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I had Henshade too the next night, and guys I left giddy. 10:34.468 --> 10:37.051 [SPEAKER_01]: The conversation alone made me feel so excited about this guy. 10:37.511 --> 10:41.716 [SPEAKER_01]: Call it a true spark or just a relief of a Henshade finally not feeling so standard and dry. 10:42.417 --> 10:43.358 [SPEAKER_01]: The advice part follows. 10:43.458 --> 10:44.580 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm excited about this guy. 10:44.960 --> 10:47.824 [SPEAKER_01]: He sent the natural follow-up the same night that he had a great time. 10:47.984 --> 10:49.245 [SPEAKER_01]: I said that I would love to see him again. 10:49.706 --> 10:51.548 [SPEAKER_01]: He said he would also love to see me as well. 10:52.029 --> 10:54.652 [SPEAKER_01]: We've been texting the week since, not about a next date. 10:55.152 --> 10:57.735 [SPEAKER_01]: How long do you normally expect a second date to be planned by? 10:58.196 --> 11:00.839 [SPEAKER_01]: Is it fine for me to just prompt the second date myself? 11:01.840 --> 11:03.281 [SPEAKER_01]: So this is a dual question. 11:03.541 --> 11:14.527 [SPEAKER_01]: Number one, is it possible to feel a spark on the first hinge date because it's like a sterile meet-up from now or number two, how long do you wait to prompt seeing each other again? 11:15.187 --> 11:17.348 [SPEAKER_01]: She was describing a tale of two first dates. 11:17.408 --> 11:17.689 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 11:17.889 --> 11:18.689 [SPEAKER_01]: It maybe wasn't clear. 11:19.470 --> 11:20.090 [SPEAKER_00]: I think I got it. 11:20.770 --> 11:24.012 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, you're the best, did you have sparks on your first date? 11:26.573 --> 11:29.355 [SPEAKER_01]: I feel the best way to describe it was relief. 11:30.910 --> 11:31.990 [SPEAKER_01]: It was a good hinged day. 11:32.010 --> 11:33.091 [SPEAKER_01]: It was a good hinged day. 11:33.211 --> 11:35.492 [SPEAKER_01]: I was relieved that it was not a waste of my time. 11:35.532 --> 11:38.953 [SPEAKER_01]: Like me and Jack, I felt like I could take a deep breath. 11:39.033 --> 11:45.455 [SPEAKER_01]: Like this guy, we, like, match each other's energy and we feel comfortable, I wasn't like, this is gonna be my husband. 11:45.635 --> 11:47.136 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna marry this guy. 11:47.176 --> 11:48.296 [SPEAKER_02]: I hate that. 11:48.316 --> 11:48.956 [SPEAKER_02]: I hate that. 11:48.976 --> 11:51.257 [SPEAKER_02]: That is such a great way to describe it. 11:51.277 --> 11:59.900 [SPEAKER_02]: But because I keep seeing all of these theories that we have access to way too many people that we were never supposed to meet. 12:00.359 --> 12:01.640 [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm. 12:01.660 --> 12:18.736 [SPEAKER_02]: And that kind of is, I feel like hinge in a nutshell, like you're forcing yourself to cross paths with so many potential romantic interests that you would have never cross paths with in the wild. 12:18.756 --> 12:24.241 [SPEAKER_02]: It's perhaps, which like can be a great thing and also can be a terrible thing. 12:25.129 --> 12:40.953 [SPEAKER_02]: and I think going into something like meeting a complete stranger that all that you have is what they do for work, where they're from, where they live now, their age, height, whatever might have you. 12:41.214 --> 12:44.254 [SPEAKER_02]: But they look like a few photos is crazy. 12:46.775 --> 12:56.278 [SPEAKER_02]: Like to have to meet somebody and you build up so much what you think the person is going to be like based off of all of the information that you have at hand. 12:56.718 --> 13:10.743 [SPEAKER_02]: So I feel like a lot of first-ingity is more so just evaluating if they're living up to the expectation that you created for them yourself, you know you knew nothing about them. 13:10.823 --> 13:19.791 [SPEAKER_01]: the picture that you've painted based on all the information and like any other research that you've done right Google like based on all the things you can find. 13:20.191 --> 13:31.181 [SPEAKER_02]: So I think that does kind of take away from the potential to just like relax and like meet the person in general. 13:31.561 --> 13:33.623 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not about cute because you already know too much. 13:34.764 --> 13:40.727 [SPEAKER_02]: but I think it's possible to obviously like walk away with butterflies and want to see the person again. 13:40.747 --> 13:43.788 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but yeah, I don't know. 13:44.969 --> 13:49.391 [SPEAKER_01]: I feel the dates where I felt really really giddy on date one. 13:50.031 --> 13:51.032 [SPEAKER_01]: I was being loved bombed. 13:51.300 --> 13:52.661 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it wasn't real. 13:52.861 --> 13:53.502 [SPEAKER_02]: It wasn't real. 13:53.522 --> 13:54.523 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it wasn't real. 13:54.743 --> 13:55.323 [SPEAKER_02]: It wasn't real. 13:55.343 --> 13:56.344 [SPEAKER_02]: It wasn't real. 13:57.105 --> 14:05.412 [SPEAKER_02]: I think like a date where you're like, oh, he seems like a good person, like the conversation was good. 14:05.452 --> 14:06.733 [SPEAKER_02]: It was good. 14:06.833 --> 14:07.734 [SPEAKER_02]: It was good. 14:07.934 --> 14:18.562 [SPEAKER_02]: That had a natural flow, like that's a better sign for me personally than when I previously had been like, oh my god, I'm obsessed with this guy, like, head over heels, obsessed. 14:18.582 --> 14:18.823 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 14:19.443 --> 14:19.964 [SPEAKER_01]: No, I agree. 14:19.984 --> 14:23.848 [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like that is like a it's red flag for me. 14:24.048 --> 14:29.574 [SPEAKER_02]: Honestly, you know, shouldn't be but like it is, but I'm like like a spark can be different. 14:29.675 --> 14:35.982 [SPEAKER_02]: Like if you're not an obsessed spark and just like a spark of I have a good feeling about this. 14:36.494 --> 14:40.335 [SPEAKER_01]: I felt this spark with Jack date two when he showed up to my door with sunflowers. 14:40.615 --> 14:40.835 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 14:41.295 --> 14:43.856 [SPEAKER_01]: That was when I was like, okay, this is something here. 14:44.036 --> 14:45.616 [SPEAKER_01]: And I like felt, I was like, oh my God. 14:45.676 --> 14:46.796 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, first I was very stressed. 14:46.816 --> 14:49.537 [SPEAKER_01]: So I needed to find a face for the flowers before I did a reservation. 14:50.077 --> 14:51.117 [SPEAKER_01]: And I couldn't reach. 14:51.177 --> 14:51.858 [SPEAKER_01]: It was a whole thing. 14:52.498 --> 14:52.798 [SPEAKER_01]: Hold thing. 14:52.818 --> 14:54.078 [SPEAKER_00]: Wait, I feel like I remember this story. 14:54.138 --> 14:55.698 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I was really stressed out actually. 14:55.719 --> 14:59.679 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, oh my God, I was like, you went to the bathroom, I climbed on top of my counter to find a freaking base. 14:59.719 --> 15:01.880 [SPEAKER_01]: And I couldn't reach it and I was a whole thing. 15:02.940 --> 15:04.761 [SPEAKER_01]: But I did feel as spark, but I also stressed. 15:06.901 --> 15:22.186 [SPEAKER_01]: But, so to answer her second question like, would you, so she's texting this guy after date one, at what point that he has not suggested a second date, at what point do you take matters into your own hands and say, hey should we see each other again? 15:22.466 --> 15:22.886 [SPEAKER_01]: Or do you? 15:24.246 --> 15:24.947 [SPEAKER_01]: Are you just let him? 15:25.387 --> 15:26.487 [SPEAKER_01]: I think do it like what he does. 15:26.507 --> 15:28.968 [SPEAKER_02]: Just be like what does next week look like for you? 15:29.525 --> 15:32.369 [SPEAKER_02]: Or just be like, I am free. 15:33.531 --> 15:34.793 [SPEAKER_02]: Thursday next week. 15:34.973 --> 15:36.535 [SPEAKER_02]: What does your week look like? 15:36.755 --> 15:39.299 [SPEAKER_00]: I seriously think that we're in a decision epidemic. 15:39.339 --> 15:43.605 [SPEAKER_00]: We're like everybody's just waiting for somebody else to make a decision about something and people seem to start making decisions. 15:43.625 --> 15:45.368 [SPEAKER_00]: Like if you want to do something, just go do it. 15:46.327 --> 15:54.813 [SPEAKER_01]: I, yes, and I would say like you can make like the first step towards the decision, aka say like, I'm free next Thursday if you want to do something. 15:54.853 --> 16:01.758 [SPEAKER_01]: And then hopefully, and like it would be a big green flag if then the person was like, okay, I'll take that and then make it reservation. 16:02.059 --> 16:02.239 [SPEAKER_02]: Right. 16:02.319 --> 16:03.920 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, okay, you're free Thursday. 16:03.960 --> 16:04.160 [SPEAKER_01]: Great. 16:04.180 --> 16:06.622 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to assess on Resi Thursday reservations. 16:06.722 --> 16:06.922 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 16:07.182 --> 16:10.344 [SPEAKER_01]: That's a big green flag and that's like, teamwork, if you will. 16:10.364 --> 16:10.485 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 16:10.965 --> 16:12.946 [SPEAKER_01]: But I wouldn't like plan the whole date myself. 16:13.207 --> 16:13.427 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 16:14.433 --> 16:19.096 [SPEAKER_01]: But that's just what I would look for and like I wouldn't look for that in my relationship. 16:19.116 --> 16:22.718 [SPEAKER_01]: Like I want the guy I want Jack to like take control. 16:22.798 --> 16:24.759 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's like attractive to me. 16:24.839 --> 16:28.562 [SPEAKER_01]: So it all depends on what you're looking for in your relationship. 16:28.922 --> 16:29.162 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. 16:29.963 --> 16:32.504 [SPEAKER_01]: But I would love to hear what happens. 16:32.604 --> 16:33.365 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, give us up to. 16:33.405 --> 16:34.545 [SPEAKER_01]: Please give us the update. 16:34.906 --> 16:37.027 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, and we're without, we're right at time. 16:37.647 --> 16:39.289 [SPEAKER_01]: It's a little mini episode for you guys. 16:39.309 --> 16:41.151 [SPEAKER_01]: We didn't leave you hanging with nothing this week. 16:41.191 --> 16:42.953 [SPEAKER_00]: No, we give the people a little something. 16:42.973 --> 16:46.217 [SPEAKER_01]: Just to dispel the rumors about Troy Sivan and Adam, first and foremost. 16:46.237 --> 16:46.937 [SPEAKER_01]: So glad to be here. 16:46.957 --> 16:48.780 [SPEAKER_00]: So glad to be here. 16:48.800 --> 16:49.440 [SPEAKER_00]: Glad to be here. 16:49.460 --> 16:52.624 [SPEAKER_00]: Your choice of on here's this and wants to go on a date. 16:52.904 --> 16:54.105 [SPEAKER_01]: Or wants to go on the podcast. 16:54.166 --> 16:55.447 [SPEAKER_00]: Or wants to go on the podcast. 16:55.847 --> 16:56.969 [SPEAKER_00]: I might be available. 16:57.149 --> 16:58.831 [SPEAKER_01]: And just so everyone knows Madonna is alive. 17:00.235 --> 17:01.135 [SPEAKER_00]: Just so everyone's a lot. 17:01.275 --> 17:02.096 [SPEAKER_00]: I was very good at that. 17:02.176 --> 17:04.937 [SPEAKER_02]: And may she live forever, seriously. 17:05.417 --> 17:11.999 [SPEAKER_02]: And may she and Sabrina put their Coachella cover of like a prayer on Spotify at last. 17:12.059 --> 17:12.679 [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly. 17:12.899 --> 17:16.400 [SPEAKER_00]: And the other manifestations before we close out, you're all good. 17:16.880 --> 17:19.961 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm manifesting a hinge spark for everyone that's listening. 17:20.001 --> 17:20.862 [SPEAKER_01]: That's looking for one. 17:21.022 --> 17:22.402 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that's really selfless of you. 17:22.942 --> 17:24.583 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I already found mine, so I'm just, you know. 17:26.024 --> 17:33.708 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like I'm just feeding the board, you know I'd like you guys to write in and with that It's been fun. 17:33.728 --> 17:34.208 [SPEAKER_00]: Love you. 17:34.228 --> 17:36.649 [SPEAKER_00]: I'd see you. 17:36.669 --> 17:51.938 [SPEAKER_01]: Bye Well, that was cute