WEBVTT

00:01.877 --> 00:09.278
[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to the intentional fatherhood podcast, where we explore what it means to live on purpose as a father and how legacy starts at home.

00:09.918 --> 00:12.239
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm Justin Whitmorely, and I'm Brooke Moser.

00:12.559 --> 00:16.619
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll be your hosts and we desire to bring biblical hope and practical hope.

00:17.160 --> 00:17.980
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for listening.

00:18.000 --> 00:21.480
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, this is dumb, said I'll have a coin.

00:21.760 --> 00:25.241
[SPEAKER_01]: So you're gonna call it, and I'm gonna ask Siri, ready for us, you call it.

00:27.221 --> 00:29.682
[SPEAKER_01]: Heads, hey Siri, heads or tails?

00:32.930 --> 00:37.835
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back to the intentional father-in-law podcast.

00:38.376 --> 00:49.607
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm Brooke Moser and I got to be honest I feel very good right now because my co-host here just in Whitmel early has just lost for the first time this season the first time this season But at least now you know it wasn't rigged.

00:49.807 --> 00:50.969
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I thought it was rigged for a bit

00:51.769 --> 01:03.936
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, it has been a joy to have this podcast before seasons in, it has been a lovely conversation that we've been having on vices and the different vices I show up through, the seven deadly sins.

01:04.597 --> 01:15.323
[SPEAKER_00]: And so today is going to be a wonderful topic and by wonderful, I mean, probably pretty hard because this one hit so wonderful, I mean, to protect it terrible and that's specifically because we're going to talk about envy.

01:15.903 --> 01:17.464
[SPEAKER_00]: which hits us all in a huge way.

01:17.844 --> 01:20.246
[SPEAKER_00]: But if people wanted to follow along, help us get the word out.

01:20.566 --> 01:21.687
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, leave questions, Justin.

01:21.987 --> 01:22.588
[SPEAKER_00]: What would they do?

01:23.288 --> 01:26.751
[SPEAKER_00]: You all should like, subscribe, leave a review.

01:27.111 --> 01:28.152
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, that's really helpful actually.

01:28.212 --> 01:29.913
[SPEAKER_01]: And also send us a question.

01:31.374 --> 01:38.456
[SPEAKER_01]: We love hearing your questions, we answer them at Q&A episodes, we answer them at the fatherhood or tree, we answer them at things like in the room when we get together.

01:39.156 --> 01:47.119
[SPEAKER_01]: But mainly, I mean, our great hope in this season, for example, is to help you take your sense seriously so you can take the grace of Jesus all the more seriously.

01:47.760 --> 02:04.502
[SPEAKER_01]: And if that's worthwhile, then it's worth getting out to other people and then if you tell us how these episodes have been so helpful, so make them helpful to others, be generous by liking, subscribing, and it sounds salesy, I know, but this is what helps this content get to other people so it can help them.

02:05.063 --> 02:15.696
[SPEAKER_01]: And do send us a question with a name, where you're from, state your question in the form of a question, try to keep it under 60 seconds, send us that voice memo to helloedintentionalfatherhood.org.

02:15.956 --> 02:16.577
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

02:16.737 --> 02:17.177
[SPEAKER_01]: It's really fun.

02:17.217 --> 02:19.500
[SPEAKER_01]: We'll play your, play your question on air and then we'll answer it.

02:21.198 --> 02:25.082
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, we have quite a backlog of questions.

02:25.102 --> 02:32.888
[SPEAKER_00]: So the rarity of somebody, especially if you only answer like three or four in episode, it's going to take a while to get to a rock's question, but we're going to do our best.

02:33.689 --> 02:34.309
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to try that.

02:34.409 --> 02:35.730
[SPEAKER_00]: That is a student's zero attempt.

02:35.770 --> 02:36.831
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't mean that passively.

02:36.851 --> 02:37.292
[SPEAKER_00]: We will try.

02:39.073 --> 02:54.825
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'll tell you this, if your question's like five minutes long, we we're not going to be honest so keep it within that parameter and that is the that's the parameter so we can respond to the question because if not it's just they keeps us concise all of us accountability there you go.

03:07.296 --> 03:10.831
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I admit it on the last episode of being an angry person, but uh...

03:11.484 --> 03:13.566
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if I may have met out loud that I'm an empty person.

03:13.586 --> 03:13.946
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll see.

03:14.006 --> 03:14.747
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, just admittedly.

03:14.827 --> 03:17.629
[SPEAKER_01]: No, actually, I know we know where we need to start this.

03:17.709 --> 03:20.752
[SPEAKER_01]: We need to talk about, well, okay, what are you in VSF?

03:20.772 --> 03:21.813
[SPEAKER_01]: Who are you in VSF?

03:22.233 --> 03:25.857
[SPEAKER_01]: Name or not, but before we do, can we just give our scriptural backing?

03:25.917 --> 03:29.360
[SPEAKER_00]: Cause I may as well, it's actually, I would love to.

03:29.560 --> 03:30.761
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's really good here.

03:30.861 --> 03:33.803
[SPEAKER_01]: The key question on NV.

03:33.843 --> 03:38.848
[SPEAKER_01]: Can I, yeah, is how do I live my story?

03:40.327 --> 04:05.852
[SPEAKER_01]: How do I get content with the story and the life that God has given me to form and sanctify me more into the image of him and stop being discontent with that life, jealous of other people's lives and then moving towards insecurity and worrying with those people through comparison, comparison, or belittling them, or just pushing them out, gossiping about them, sliding them, complaining all the things that result from our envy.

04:06.792 --> 04:10.955
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you live your story and be content with who God is doing in your life?

04:11.815 --> 04:17.318
[SPEAKER_01]: I think the scriptures on this are actually extraordinarily enlightening.

04:17.898 --> 04:28.104
[SPEAKER_01]: This is one of those ones where you think, gosh, we in the church talk so much about these outward sins.

04:28.524 --> 04:30.065
[SPEAKER_01]: We debate about drunkenness.

04:31.546 --> 04:32.486
[SPEAKER_01]: We talk about lust.

04:36.700 --> 04:37.821
[SPEAKER_01]: We have all our controversies.

04:38.482 --> 04:42.365
[SPEAKER_01]: And the Bible talks so much about how we talk about other people.

04:43.406 --> 04:50.672
[SPEAKER_01]: Like if you jump right into gossiping and complaining and envy, as seriously as we took, sends on drunkenness.

04:50.712 --> 04:58.059
[SPEAKER_01]: We'd be getting somewhere, listen to what James 316 says about it.

04:58.139 --> 04:59.120
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, you're doing that one.

04:59.360 --> 05:00.941
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I literally just pulled that up.

05:00.961 --> 05:01.242
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like,

05:01.902 --> 05:05.126
[SPEAKER_00]: Whatever one he's reading I'm gonna read after never mind you read it go.

05:05.206 --> 05:09.410
[SPEAKER_01]: Well we'll get to the the first Corinthians antidote envy I have one in problems.

05:09.450 --> 05:10.972
[SPEAKER_00]: I won't do anything.

05:11.072 --> 05:22.304
[SPEAKER_01]: James 316 For where you have envy and selfish ambition there you find discord Disorder in every evil practice

05:23.065 --> 05:30.827
[SPEAKER_01]: But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure, then peace, loving, considerate, submissive full of mercy and good fruit impartial and sincere.

05:31.487 --> 05:35.148
[SPEAKER_01]: Peace makers who so impeached, recap, reap a harvest of righteousness.

05:35.849 --> 05:47.292
[SPEAKER_01]: I just think it's so helpful to see the starting point of envy, leading to disorder and every evil practice and the antidote to that being the love that leads to all these

05:51.273 --> 06:02.987
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I mean, there's so many actually on I love Proverbs because so much of so much of fatherhood as we're in, you know, episode three here of this fourth season.

06:03.907 --> 06:07.271
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, hopefully you're getting the idea that so much of fatherhood lives in wisdom.

06:07.491 --> 06:09.313
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's very practical, right?

06:09.833 --> 06:13.337
[SPEAKER_00]: But then there's just like, a lot of it is applied wisdom.

06:13.357 --> 06:16.280
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to have wisdom in a really deep way.

06:16.501 --> 06:19.824
[SPEAKER_00]: Proverbs is so helpful because it's the wisdom literature.

06:19.924 --> 06:21.927
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think just as a practice, like,

06:22.487 --> 06:26.710
[SPEAKER_00]: you're wanting to grow in wisdom or really struggling to just make good decisions.

06:26.770 --> 06:31.072
[SPEAKER_00]: I think live in that space, live in Proverbs with Proverbs 14, 30.

06:31.092 --> 06:38.617
[SPEAKER_00]: A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.

06:40.541 --> 06:46.406
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it's interesting that brain rot and the idea of bone rot is biblical, right?

06:47.146 --> 06:58.995
[SPEAKER_00]: The rotting element, even as a pop culture phrase, is an interesting phrase because social media which encourages obviously short form content encourages brain rot as you obviously know the phrase.

07:00.216 --> 07:08.062
[SPEAKER_00]: It's interesting to wisdom that the scriptures give about it causes your bones to rot and that idea that you just like are devoured from inside out.

07:08.122 --> 07:09.023
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

07:09.303 --> 07:12.165
[SPEAKER_01]: The primary victim of envy is you.

07:12.205 --> 07:12.365
[SPEAKER_01]: You.

07:12.785 --> 07:12.965
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

07:13.706 --> 07:21.712
[SPEAKER_01]: And when we'll talk more about this, but the primary harm that envy does is it's burning you up from the inside out and that's making you incapable of love.

07:21.972 --> 07:22.852
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, to others.

07:23.212 --> 07:23.412
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.

07:23.432 --> 07:27.173
[SPEAKER_01]: First Corinthians, the antidote to this is love.

07:27.653 --> 07:35.535
[SPEAKER_01]: First Corinthians 13, four, love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy.

07:36.635 --> 07:39.215
[SPEAKER_01]: It does not boast, it's not proud, it doesn't dishonor others.

07:39.936 --> 07:46.697
[SPEAKER_01]: And I just, I think about those three things, I'll stop right there, boasting, being proud.

07:48.138 --> 08:00.346
[SPEAKER_01]: dishonoring others so much of our social life, so much of our brotherhood, our human community is characterized by the downstream sins that happen in the wake of envy.

08:00.827 --> 08:01.947
[SPEAKER_01]: We talk bad about others.

08:01.968 --> 08:02.688
[SPEAKER_01]: We slight others.

08:02.708 --> 08:04.029
[SPEAKER_01]: We complain about our own life.

08:04.049 --> 08:08.012
[SPEAKER_01]: We rot in our own discontentment because we are envious.

08:08.272 --> 08:12.355
[SPEAKER_01]: And love is going to be the virtue that pushes out that vice of envy.

08:12.975 --> 08:13.776
[SPEAKER_01]: I think probably

08:15.251 --> 08:22.137
[SPEAKER_01]: When most people hear the word envy, they have a small compartment for it, and they hear jealousy.

08:22.718 --> 08:22.918
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

08:22.958 --> 08:23.759
[SPEAKER_01]: Which is part of envy.

08:24.821 --> 08:29.665
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, but I'm going to guess that most people don't feel their life characterized by jealousy.

08:30.746 --> 08:32.368
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe, but I just bet I bet not.

08:33.269 --> 08:39.875
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I bet if I said envy starts in discontentment with your own life moves through jealousy and ends in it.

08:40.615 --> 08:42.317
[SPEAKER_01]: A war of insecurity with others.

08:42.837 --> 08:45.760
[SPEAKER_01]: You probably relate to those bookings discontentment with your own life.

08:46.360 --> 08:48.101
[SPEAKER_01]: and a war of insecurity with others.

08:48.501 --> 08:57.346
[SPEAKER_01]: Jellis is really just one small part of envy, but the constant comparison that thieves all your joy in the words of C.S.

08:57.386 --> 09:00.427
[SPEAKER_01]: Lewis is I'm guessing that you relate to that.

09:00.747 --> 09:02.168
[SPEAKER_01]: I certainly do.

09:02.208 --> 09:03.309
[SPEAKER_01]: So maybe let's start there.

09:03.609 --> 09:03.849
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

09:05.066 --> 09:08.189
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's, let's, let's confess a little bit where, where are we NBS?

09:08.269 --> 09:09.030
[SPEAKER_01]: You want me to go first?

09:09.611 --> 09:09.931
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.

09:10.171 --> 09:10.992
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I'm not jagged.

09:11.132 --> 09:11.813
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm jagged.

09:11.933 --> 09:13.715
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I, I think I'll do it.

09:13.735 --> 09:19.481
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, go, go first and then I want to help people even see that, that there's a contrast between what you're saying.

09:19.501 --> 09:20.082
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

09:20.482 --> 09:25.347
[SPEAKER_00]: Actually, maybe before we go to confession because we're right here, just pause and confess you for one second because this will take two seconds.

09:26.768 --> 09:32.672
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's important to know what the difference looks like like with envy because you said something really important.

09:32.692 --> 09:33.693
[SPEAKER_00]: These bookends are important.

09:34.493 --> 09:37.155
[SPEAKER_00]: The Middles jealousy, we often think jealousy and envy overlap.

09:37.175 --> 09:41.378
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of people, I mean, there's obviously not everybody, but in general it's easy to lump them together.

09:42.058 --> 09:47.642
[SPEAKER_00]: NBC says why them, I see idea, but love like we talked about says thank you God for them.

09:48.282 --> 09:48.843
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the heart.

09:49.083 --> 09:50.824
[SPEAKER_00]: So then another contrast.

09:51.305 --> 09:52.465
[SPEAKER_00]: Invisaes, there's not enough.

09:54.627 --> 09:56.669
[SPEAKER_00]: Love says God's grace isn't scarce.

09:56.929 --> 09:57.830
[SPEAKER_00]: There's always enough.

09:58.871 --> 09:59.991
[SPEAKER_00]: Third, I have to compete.

10:00.432 --> 10:01.312
[SPEAKER_00]: Invisaes, I have to compete.

10:02.233 --> 10:03.334
[SPEAKER_00]: Love says I get to celebrate.

10:03.754 --> 10:04.015
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

10:04.575 --> 10:07.998
[SPEAKER_00]: Invisaes, there's success, diminishes me.

10:08.078 --> 10:08.338
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

10:08.698 --> 10:11.020
[SPEAKER_00]: The more successful you are, that means I'm less.

10:11.841 --> 10:15.223
[SPEAKER_00]: Love says there's success, less is us.

10:15.404 --> 10:15.824
[SPEAKER_00]: That's good.

10:15.964 --> 10:17.787
[SPEAKER_00]: And last, I wish I had their life.

10:18.288 --> 10:18.969
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what NBC says.

10:19.690 --> 10:21.773
[SPEAKER_00]: Loves says I want to steward the life God gave me.

10:22.214 --> 10:23.656
[SPEAKER_01]: So can I add one to that?

10:24.217 --> 10:25.278
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I don't.

10:25.298 --> 10:26.881
[SPEAKER_01]: NBC says, why not me?

10:26.901 --> 10:27.542
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

10:28.123 --> 10:29.545
[SPEAKER_01]: And love says good for them.

10:30.814 --> 10:35.916
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, you know, we talk about in every episode, keep the theme going.

10:36.536 --> 10:39.357
[SPEAKER_01]: Pride is the clean of the seven deadly sense.

10:39.457 --> 10:41.757
[SPEAKER_01]: All these seven deadly sense are kind of minions of pride.

10:42.037 --> 10:44.218
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, just carry out pride in a different way.

10:44.438 --> 10:50.420
[SPEAKER_01]: Pride is the fall in the garden, but it's also gluttony or the way that freaks also agreed to have what God has.

10:50.460 --> 10:52.741
[SPEAKER_01]: It's also envy that you want to be what God is it.

10:53.301 --> 10:56.882
[SPEAKER_01]: These are all minions of the sin of pride and

11:00.022 --> 11:03.463
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the other's centric life that is the opposite of envy.

11:03.523 --> 11:05.444
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, envy says why not me?

11:06.404 --> 11:07.664
[SPEAKER_01]: Love says good for them.

11:07.984 --> 11:11.505
[SPEAKER_01]: The flipping of your life inside out is the antidote to envy.

11:11.525 --> 11:12.406
[SPEAKER_01]: And so call of Jesus.

11:12.526 --> 11:13.886
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I couldn't agree more.

11:13.966 --> 11:15.446
[SPEAKER_00]: And I used this word lightly, but...

11:16.427 --> 11:17.667
[SPEAKER_00]: Sorry, I don't use it lightly.

11:17.987 --> 11:21.388
[SPEAKER_00]: Mentor is a word that I think falls into a very particular category.

11:22.128 --> 11:28.995
[SPEAKER_00]: I have a therapist, I have different people in my life, most of the people that I look up to and talk to are 60-plus and I'm grateful for that.

11:31.098 --> 11:42.550
[SPEAKER_00]: One of my actual mentors, great human, his name's Jerry Sitzer, written a lot of great books, but the guy is incredible and I had this conversation, I was processing some invious thoughts with him.

11:43.230 --> 11:48.394
[SPEAKER_00]: and he said something that I'll never forget and it was so helpful with this particular talk topic.

11:48.434 --> 11:51.357
[SPEAKER_00]: He said, brook in the kingdom, there's always room for more.

11:53.127 --> 12:01.874
[SPEAKER_00]: your success in the kingdom, like in a business setting, if I have a law firm that's doing better than yours, which in real life, if I wasn't worried probably would.

12:02.635 --> 12:06.238
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, just kidding, you didn't get it.

12:06.258 --> 12:19.409
[SPEAKER_00]: That's like I was so slight that it took me a minute, like, whoa, anyway, if my law firm does better than yours, that means your law firm gets less and has less and the point being

12:20.950 --> 12:26.614
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, if you're writing a book about this and someone else is writing a book about that or you have a ministry for this and someone else is doing a ministry for that.

12:26.634 --> 12:27.595
[SPEAKER_00]: There's always room for more.

12:27.655 --> 12:29.016
[SPEAKER_00]: It helps the greater good.

12:29.036 --> 12:30.257
[SPEAKER_00]: It bless us.

12:30.397 --> 12:30.577
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.

12:30.898 --> 12:34.160
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that perspective that in the kingdom, which is where we want to get to it.

12:34.220 --> 12:35.081
[SPEAKER_00]: There's always room for more.

12:35.101 --> 12:36.682
[SPEAKER_00]: So start it with that all in mind.

12:37.963 --> 12:38.804
[SPEAKER_01]: You said you want to go first.

12:38.844 --> 12:39.664
[SPEAKER_01]: Confession and go ahead.

12:39.744 --> 12:40.685
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you want to talk about?

12:40.705 --> 12:41.145
[SPEAKER_01]: I will go first.

12:41.266 --> 12:43.307
[SPEAKER_01]: And it has to do with that economy right there.

12:44.969 --> 12:47.891
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, in economics, scarcity is a fundamental principle.

12:48.572 --> 12:52.074
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, the laws of supply and demand are based on limitation.

12:53.335 --> 12:58.159
[SPEAKER_01]: The economy, the kingdom of love is not like that, but we so often live in a framework of scarcity.

12:58.179 --> 13:00.481
[SPEAKER_01]: There's success means I can't have it.

13:00.701 --> 13:01.582
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.

13:03.424 --> 13:04.445
[SPEAKER_01]: So this is where I struggle.

13:06.250 --> 13:13.373
[SPEAKER_01]: As a fundamental matter, I think generally, we're envious of people in our own situation.

13:14.093 --> 13:24.137
[SPEAKER_01]: So I don't look at, I don't know, star athletes and think, I'm envious of their life because I don't attempt that life.

13:25.157 --> 13:27.718
[SPEAKER_01]: It's easy for me not to be envious of a famous football player.

13:27.738 --> 13:29.779
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just like, I get for him, I don't play football.

13:30.985 --> 13:35.348
[SPEAKER_01]: It's very easy for me to be envious of a fellow lawyer.

13:35.968 --> 13:38.569
[SPEAKER_01]: It's very easy for me to be envious of a fellow author.

13:39.350 --> 13:43.032
[SPEAKER_01]: It's very easy for me to envious to be envious of a fellow friend.

13:43.773 --> 13:46.534
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I look at the people are similarly situated to me.

13:47.475 --> 13:48.615
[SPEAKER_01]: And I say, why not me?

13:49.236 --> 13:50.617
[SPEAKER_01]: Or why they're doing it?

13:50.697 --> 13:56.140
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, so I was debating, even just now in real time, correct the correct use of that phrase.

13:56.740 --> 14:01.966
[SPEAKER_00]: and note the pride that just brought them to tell you that you're better than me.

14:02.066 --> 14:11.456
[SPEAKER_01]: I was debating for a moment whether to share names I opted not to because actually even on these episodes as we try to be vulnerable with you.

14:12.577 --> 14:13.798
[SPEAKER_01]: I think there's an important distinction.

14:13.939 --> 14:15.961
[SPEAKER_01]: We're talking to thousands of people right now.

14:16.721 --> 14:21.245
[SPEAKER_01]: I talked to my actual friends about specific names, whichever of this, of course.

14:21.685 --> 14:22.906
[SPEAKER_01]: And this is a different mode.

14:22.926 --> 14:27.629
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm going to be somewhat vague, but here's problems that I have with envy.

14:28.330 --> 14:34.975
[SPEAKER_01]: If I look at another person near my age who is practicing law or running a law firm,

14:35.755 --> 14:41.479
[SPEAKER_01]: I will say, oh man, he's making more money than I am, or how did he get that many employees?

14:41.699 --> 14:46.222
[SPEAKER_01]: I wonder what the size of her book of business is.

14:46.362 --> 14:49.744
[SPEAKER_01]: I wonder what revenue they have.

14:50.024 --> 15:00.171
[SPEAKER_01]: And I look at metrics to figure out where I line up and either am too happy or too sad about the results.

15:01.432 --> 15:02.333
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'm truly yeah.

15:02.853 --> 15:14.565
[SPEAKER_01]: I do this with books and I look at, you know, it's it's actually helpful for a perspective of trying to get your message out there to see like, where are you in the Amazon rankings like who's buying your book?

15:14.605 --> 15:16.207
[SPEAKER_01]: How many are selling what categories are you in?

15:16.808 --> 15:22.113
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's so easy to check that on the daily and be like, oh, I'm beaten so and so or why is that book ahead of me?

15:22.634 --> 15:23.174
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'll get.

15:24.335 --> 15:24.855
[SPEAKER_01]: Very happy.

15:24.955 --> 15:31.758
[SPEAKER_01]: The body teaches us all, for example, recently was the number one book in Amazon's category of holistic health.

15:32.198 --> 15:32.618
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.

15:32.778 --> 15:36.300
[SPEAKER_01]: And two things are happening in my soul at the same time.

15:37.180 --> 15:43.422
[SPEAKER_01]: One, I am truly, and genuinely, overjoyed that of all the books one could read on holistic health.

15:43.462 --> 15:44.403
[SPEAKER_01]: That's pretty big category.

15:44.623 --> 15:44.863
[SPEAKER_01]: Huge.

15:45.103 --> 15:48.604
[SPEAKER_01]: People are apparently reading about a Christian perspective

15:51.066 --> 15:54.414
[SPEAKER_01]: It was number one in the category of

15:56.798 --> 15:58.998
[SPEAKER_01]: Mental health disorders around food weird category.

15:59.178 --> 16:00.839
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but I was like, oh my gosh, praise God.

16:00.859 --> 16:07.940
[SPEAKER_01]: Like people people who are struggling with food disorders are reading the body teaches the soul and anyway, like redeemable.

16:07.960 --> 16:08.940
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's wonderful.

16:09.960 --> 16:20.722
[SPEAKER_01]: At the same time, I was a little bit too happy that it was beating out x y or z book and then I check on a different day and it's not ranking in whatever category.

16:20.782 --> 16:25.003
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm a little sad about well the why that author why is he ahead of me.

16:25.603 --> 16:31.729
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, and then I start with a belittle that person, like, well, they just got lucky, or I mean, they're just trying to be relevant.

16:31.749 --> 16:32.850
[SPEAKER_01]: They don't have an enduring message.

16:32.870 --> 16:36.213
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll say, again, theme of the season.

16:36.253 --> 16:42.178
[SPEAKER_01]: Makes you say insane thing, and it comes at you with reason and makes your reason into insanity.

16:42.198 --> 16:43.299
[SPEAKER_01]: It makes you love insanity.

16:43.599 --> 16:44.861
[SPEAKER_01]: And I say dumb stuff.

16:44.901 --> 16:47.743
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, well, that person is just blank.

16:47.823 --> 16:49.044
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, they don't even deserve it.

16:49.084 --> 16:50.386
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's just awful.

16:50.566 --> 16:51.667
[SPEAKER_01]: But that that's where my

16:53.983 --> 16:56.965
[SPEAKER_01]: That's where my envy primarily comes out for me.

16:56.985 --> 16:57.966
[SPEAKER_01]: It's in my professions.

16:58.686 --> 17:01.068
[SPEAKER_01]: I look at people and I measure up to them and I could go on.

17:01.108 --> 17:02.229
[SPEAKER_01]: There's other ways I envy people.

17:02.289 --> 17:03.129
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

17:03.309 --> 17:03.990
[SPEAKER_01]: But yes, what?

17:05.491 --> 17:06.912
[SPEAKER_01]: That lawyer, that author.

17:08.113 --> 17:26.877
[SPEAKER_01]: They have zero idea, and probably give zero concern about what I think, yeah, you know the victim is here, me, who is ruining my own day and diminishing my call and what God has given me to do and my stewardship over it by letting my joy be stolen by comparison and envy.

17:27.877 --> 17:29.777
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm the primary victim.

17:29.797 --> 17:33.958
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, my family and friends are secondary victims as I process my discontentment around them.

17:34.718 --> 17:36.280
[SPEAKER_01]: But I'm mainly hurting myself.

17:36.620 --> 17:38.301
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a sin against self in a lot of senses.

17:38.842 --> 17:42.504
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I'm just, thank you for sharing that.

17:43.105 --> 17:47.068
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's so incredibly relatable.

17:47.308 --> 17:53.353
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think you said it in a really clear way of like how we end up measuring ourselves against others.

17:53.905 --> 18:03.294
[SPEAKER_00]: I think a couple notes for me on that, some confession, but also I think some specifics when it comes to this particular angle.

18:04.395 --> 18:09.140
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't tend to compare or envy those that we deem or think as lesser.

18:10.701 --> 18:22.964
[SPEAKER_00]: So when we are, people are younger, maybe not as a, don't have as much of a social class or financially not as established or have as far of a reach.

18:23.004 --> 18:30.566
[SPEAKER_00]: Whatever the thing your thing is, we don't tend to envy those that are, as we deem, and this is important.

18:30.686 --> 18:32.026
[SPEAKER_00]: They're not beneath you, but right?

18:32.466 --> 18:34.647
[SPEAKER_00]: But you deem as you are better than.

18:35.107 --> 18:37.247
[SPEAKER_00]: You always envy those who you think

18:40.668 --> 18:49.777
[SPEAKER_00]: That's important because you're missing a lot of wonderful people right in front of you a lot of the time and I don't think that you know you're focusing on the wrong people by envy then I think that's wrong too.

18:50.238 --> 19:03.751
[SPEAKER_00]: I just mean there's so many wonderful good people that you can learn from and again, pride is so sneaky I think pride keeps us in so many ways which we'll talk about from this idea of being able to learn from anybody that's a huge one.

19:04.251 --> 19:11.736
[SPEAKER_01]: like learn from the audience now, not just your joy for other people, but your education by other people, because instead of being like, oh, what could I learn?

19:11.796 --> 19:13.077
[SPEAKER_01]: You just get frustrated.

19:13.157 --> 19:15.519
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, you're just, well, you're comparing constantly or angry.

19:15.559 --> 19:29.849
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think it's important to say, I think that it doesn't, I think in V, as you said it, shows up for me in all the same ways, but the categories would be different because I think, again, it's the stuff that

19:30.609 --> 19:36.035
[SPEAKER_00]: I value or I meant to right and so I think some of it is

19:37.932 --> 19:46.636
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, some of it is like we're right now, with intentional, we're growing a lot, and you're over year, even the last two years.

19:48.757 --> 19:55.399
[SPEAKER_00]: Things have grown exponentially and very quickly to the point where I don't even think I would have thought we would have been where we're at when it comes to.

19:56.780 --> 20:03.303
[SPEAKER_00]: Some of the things we're doing, the reach, the help of people, the the number of people that are converses, the life transformation we're seeing like.

20:03.803 --> 20:04.543
[SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't have expected.

20:04.563 --> 20:08.284
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't think this podcast, we didn't, two years ago, have this podcast.

20:08.304 --> 20:09.844
[SPEAKER_00]: We didn't do any of that stuff.

20:09.864 --> 20:12.285
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's been interesting to see that.

20:13.165 --> 20:19.906
[SPEAKER_00]: Nonetheless, it is so easy for me to not be able to really rejoice or celebrate any of that.

20:20.007 --> 20:22.827
[SPEAKER_00]: And just be like, well, we're still so far behind.

20:22.867 --> 20:25.868
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, whatever organization or whatever person or

20:27.008 --> 20:32.329
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, feeling the blank, like, for me, it's not as dissimilar to you.

20:32.969 --> 20:52.553
[SPEAKER_00]: I think one that might be different, but really important is I, because of our family and our situation of health, or health journey, I get invious of people that take for granted a healthy,

20:54.640 --> 20:56.624
[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm, that's the trick.

20:56.905 --> 20:57.927
[SPEAKER_01]: I have a question.

20:58.568 --> 21:02.637
[SPEAKER_01]: Would it be fair to push a little harder that on that and say?

21:04.240 --> 21:18.532
[SPEAKER_01]: Even if this is a genuine question, so even if they weren't taking it for granted, even if they were actually incredible grateful to God and gave thanks to them every day for it would you still be like because you don't know that yeah would you would would would you end via assume they're taking it for granted.

21:20.233 --> 21:21.234
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, that's a great question.

21:21.855 --> 21:23.156
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't I don't know.

21:23.176 --> 21:24.537
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it would probably only.

21:25.915 --> 21:30.301
[SPEAKER_00]: reason I would assume taking for granted is maybe just some of the passing comments.

21:30.321 --> 21:34.107
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think anyone ever comes out and says I'm taking for granted the fact that I have a healthy family.

21:34.127 --> 21:35.729
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's that when.

21:37.433 --> 21:40.875
[SPEAKER_00]: a mild, at least in my, again, this is me, right?

21:40.895 --> 21:41.675
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the eye thing.

21:42.815 --> 21:51.940
[SPEAKER_00]: When they have a very minor upset to their preferences, not even a real like struggle, it's a, I didn't get my preference.

21:52.160 --> 21:54.761
[SPEAKER_00]: And you put it in the category of I'm suffering.

21:55.321 --> 21:58.723
[SPEAKER_01]: God's blessings off of me and so can you just do you just didn't get the house that you wanted?

21:58.863 --> 21:59.223
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.

21:59.303 --> 21:59.703
[SPEAKER_01]: I get it.

21:59.803 --> 22:02.484
[SPEAKER_00]: But like, so I'm saying, yeah, this isn't

22:04.605 --> 22:13.747
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just trying to say, that's how it shows up is like suffering is suffering for them that probably does feel like suffering.

22:13.967 --> 22:14.287
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

22:14.687 --> 22:20.889
[SPEAKER_00]: But then if when I compare it, again, comparison, so to show this out, there's the backside difference of like the direct comparison to up.

22:21.329 --> 22:29.551
[SPEAKER_00]: When I compare it to my situation, like I would take, I would much rather take that than the in our situation.

22:29.711 --> 22:31.131
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd much rather take this appointment.

22:32.111 --> 22:34.152
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, but again, it's not a fair metric.

22:34.252 --> 22:34.793
[SPEAKER_00]: And we know that.

22:34.873 --> 22:39.275
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, the reason I asked that is I think be is because I do it.

22:39.395 --> 22:40.676
[SPEAKER_01]: And I suspect most people do it.

22:40.696 --> 22:41.896
[SPEAKER_01]: So let me let me lay this out.

22:42.757 --> 22:48.440
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I mentioned this earlier, but when we think about what is and be, how does it work?

22:49.820 --> 22:54.063
[SPEAKER_01]: It begins in a discontentment with your own life, okay?

22:55.223 --> 23:03.429
[SPEAKER_01]: When you're on top of the world and you've just had a huge success, you usually are happy and free to give joy to other people's successes.

23:05.511 --> 23:11.555
[SPEAKER_01]: But when you are frustrated about your lot, that's when you start to and be so often begins a discontentment.

23:12.076 --> 23:21.022
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I think it either most often briefly passes through jealousy, or sometimes bypasses all the way around jealousy.

23:24.465 --> 23:25.826
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm really jealous and jealously.

23:26.066 --> 23:26.306
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

23:26.607 --> 23:28.868
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know many people who express jealousy.

23:31.230 --> 23:38.815
[SPEAKER_01]: Usually that jealousy is hidden behind the final stage of envy, which is that war of insecurity with others.

23:38.855 --> 23:50.704
[SPEAKER_01]: And I call it war because you actually do what you need to do to push them down so that you can try to gain footing.

23:52.745 --> 23:59.630
[SPEAKER_01]: what you said earlier triggered in my mind usually when I see somebody that is that I'm envious of.

24:00.851 --> 24:14.241
[SPEAKER_01]: I will start to make assumptions about how they're handling their blessing that nitpicks flaws in their way of managing their life so that I feel better about not having it.

24:15.182 --> 24:20.028
[SPEAKER_01]: So, well, we'll look what they did with their success or, you know, look at the problems that they have around it.

24:21.890 --> 24:25.574
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll complain, you know, about them, I'll gossip about them.

24:26.255 --> 24:29.019
[SPEAKER_01]: But honestly, mostly, I'll just slight them.

24:30.220 --> 24:31.842
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think slight is an important word here.

24:32.576 --> 24:41.085
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think, unfortunately, yeah, I'm going to say it again, I really wish the church to gossiping as seriously as we took sexual sin.

24:41.786 --> 24:43.647
[SPEAKER_01]: And we shouldn't take sexual sin any less seriously.

24:43.728 --> 24:43.928
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

24:44.328 --> 24:46.651
[SPEAKER_01]: Like we were going gossiping more and sexual sin.

24:46.671 --> 24:53.538
[SPEAKER_01]: But like I, it is so common for me to hear believers, belittle other believers in my congregation.

24:54.118 --> 25:18.655
[SPEAKER_01]: or believe or believers to belittle other believers in my friend group or believers to belittle other celebrity believers like they go talking about this or I can't believe he said that I think we're just way too quick to slight other people as if we are better than them when really what we're doing is we're trying to just take them down a notch because we wish they weren't riding so high yeah and that's so broken good

25:18.955 --> 25:36.312
[SPEAKER_01]: I envy does start, I mean, primarily, I think it's damaged to us, but where that we start to then hurt others out of the wounds of envy is we just constantly belittle them and complain about them or we ignore them, push them out, they don't deserve my attention and it's awful and I want to say this.

25:37.419 --> 25:53.443
[SPEAKER_01]: I think our culture has normalized envy in our quickness to rejoice over others downfall, like we're pretty quick to rejoice in somebody who got canceled or did something wrong.

25:54.937 --> 25:57.419
[SPEAKER_01]: because we're kind of mad they had success in the first place.

25:57.679 --> 26:05.724
[SPEAKER_01]: I think a lot of the reason we take joy in somebody's karma of falling is because we're so quick to judge their problems in the first place.

26:06.105 --> 26:12.569
[SPEAKER_01]: If there were us who were getting canceled or getting public outcry, we would be like, well, it's nuanced.

26:13.089 --> 26:15.331
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, like my story is complicated.

26:15.451 --> 26:17.712
[SPEAKER_01]: But for other people, it's plain and simple.

26:17.732 --> 26:18.293
[SPEAKER_01]: They're an idiot.

26:18.553 --> 26:19.674
[SPEAKER_01]: They were fooled with their money.

26:19.754 --> 26:21.255
[SPEAKER_01]: Or they were still dumb with their marriage.

26:21.455 --> 26:22.936
[SPEAKER_01]: I think a lot of that's from Andy.

26:23.336 --> 26:26.657
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think it's normalizing out and like outrage, cancel culture.

26:27.017 --> 26:29.718
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I couldn't agree more, couldn't agree more.

26:30.398 --> 26:42.482
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that, yeah, to respond to that and even this, the, the other sneakiness of of envy, I think sometimes we can even be envious of good things.

26:43.362 --> 26:51.225
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, meaning me being envious of a family not having as many struggles as I do,

26:52.649 --> 26:56.812
[SPEAKER_00]: And this isn't a woe was me thing, but I'm saying this is my perspective by my situation.

26:58.193 --> 27:00.394
[SPEAKER_00]: That's actually like a healthy family is a good thing.

27:00.694 --> 27:02.495
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's a beautiful thing.

27:02.896 --> 27:03.816
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's nothing wrong with it.

27:03.896 --> 27:10.320
[SPEAKER_00]: Like so this is where it becomes really tricky because as we said, we're the victim in this one, right?

27:10.380 --> 27:11.461
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, this contaminant is.

27:11.981 --> 27:20.827
[SPEAKER_00]: And it is important I think to say here, you are not you are not entitled to the life that God is

27:22.560 --> 27:24.361
[SPEAKER_00]: using to form you.

27:24.881 --> 27:33.024
[SPEAKER_00]: And what I mean by that is so often, we get really frustrated with the life that we actually have that God is using to form us, which is not always easy.

27:33.665 --> 27:38.407
[SPEAKER_00]: And we need to continually grow to an acceptance of the life that God is using to form us.

27:38.547 --> 27:38.767
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

27:39.347 --> 27:42.488
[SPEAKER_00]: And that means, but my wife is this.

27:42.928 --> 27:43.108
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.

27:43.489 --> 27:44.269
[SPEAKER_00]: And my kids are this.

27:44.509 --> 27:44.709
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.

27:44.989 --> 27:45.810
[SPEAKER_00]: And this isn't right.

27:46.050 --> 27:46.290
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

27:47.011 --> 27:54.135
[SPEAKER_00]: And you were never promised or entitled to everything going in your perceived way of what you had thought it was.

27:54.696 --> 28:02.421
[SPEAKER_00]: And if there's a life lesson that has been knocking on my door, whether I want it to or not, is that you fight that.

28:02.521 --> 28:10.986
[SPEAKER_00]: If you keep fighting that, not accepting it, not not being okay with the reality of like this is my actual life, you destroy your actual life.

28:11.547 --> 28:12.847
[SPEAKER_00]: And you fight everyone around you.

28:13.928 --> 28:25.060
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think the deeper thing for all of us is really to get to that point, which we talked about, which is how do I enjoy and invest in the life that God has actually given me?

28:25.220 --> 28:27.283
[SPEAKER_00]: How do I love my story?

28:27.343 --> 28:31.547
[SPEAKER_00]: How do I rejoice in my story and what is in front of me?

28:32.468 --> 28:37.453
[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, there's all these gratitude practices, gratitude practices are biblical.

28:37.573 --> 28:39.895
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, there's a lot of pops to the college that's taken it over.

28:40.375 --> 28:45.280
[SPEAKER_00]: Gratitude practices are incredibly grounding and helpful to remember what is, right?

28:45.840 --> 28:47.742
[SPEAKER_00]: It's basically just saying the truth out loud.

28:47.922 --> 28:48.723
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.

28:48.983 --> 28:52.106
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think there's going to be a whole host of things we go through.

28:52.766 --> 28:55.649
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe can I just give, I was just thinking about this, but,

28:57.167 --> 29:03.455
[SPEAKER_00]: For some that might be thinking that you don't have envy, can I just give a couple of, at least in my experience, some of the hidden signs of envy?

29:03.615 --> 29:05.217
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to be amazed of anybody listening right now.

29:05.237 --> 29:06.899
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, I don't have envy, but...

29:07.740 --> 29:08.461
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, it's interesting.

29:08.481 --> 29:09.542
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, twist the down.

29:09.602 --> 29:10.883
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right, make them feel it.

29:11.124 --> 29:11.304
[SPEAKER_01]: What?

29:11.664 --> 29:12.025
[SPEAKER_00]: Well...

29:14.428 --> 29:22.814
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here to make you all uncomfortable, I think MB sounds like, well, I mean, we kind of know this, but I can't celebrate that win.

29:24.696 --> 29:27.058
[SPEAKER_00]: We set it, we minimize other people's success.

29:27.878 --> 29:30.260
[SPEAKER_00]: Another one that's interesting more self-pity is like, I feel behind.

29:30.981 --> 29:33.443
[SPEAKER_00]: That can be, I'm behind.

29:33.903 --> 29:35.805
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel overlooked.

29:35.865 --> 29:37.806
[SPEAKER_01]: That's another one like why they skip me.

29:39.228 --> 29:46.795
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me just dwell on the I feel behind for a second or even overlooked because I think you're touching on something important that my former comments ignored.

29:49.610 --> 29:56.093
[SPEAKER_01]: I often move to that insecure war with others, belittling them, gossiping, sliding them.

29:57.174 --> 30:08.979
[SPEAKER_01]: I think a lot of people just move towards despair and self-consciousness and sort of unending nervousness that, or even bitterness that, like, why don't I have what they have?

30:09.719 --> 30:15.622
[SPEAKER_01]: And I might move towards a more exterior form of, like, I need to take them down and notch because I'm jealous of them.

30:16.482 --> 30:21.246
[SPEAKER_01]: But you're probably right a lot of people might just move towards just a deep sadness.

30:21.266 --> 30:21.446
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.

30:21.726 --> 30:23.108
[SPEAKER_01]: Self-deep frustration.

30:23.728 --> 30:26.690
[SPEAKER_01]: But I'm not, I don't, my house is in that clean.

30:26.730 --> 30:27.891
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't have those kind of vacations.

30:27.911 --> 30:28.852
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't have that kind of money.

30:28.972 --> 30:32.455
[SPEAKER_00]: And V also has a deep route in self-obsession.

30:32.995 --> 30:57.710
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's it's that you are looking so inward all the time that of course it makes sense that that then it would be depressive because what was me or am I ever going to be good enough like victims style I know this a lot of you know buzzwords, but I think they they actually ring true here I think that's what people yeah happens and so envy is a version of self obsession yeah

30:58.530 --> 30:59.530
[SPEAKER_00]: of what I don't have.

30:59.570 --> 31:02.951
[SPEAKER_00]: Look at me, my thing, my, and then you get really miserable.

31:03.392 --> 31:13.935
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, and that spiritual root, like what are we worshiping when we're finding ourselves in a trap of envy is man, not God.

31:14.015 --> 31:14.875
[SPEAKER_01]: It's humans not God.

31:14.895 --> 31:22.658
[SPEAKER_01]: So you're either worshiping someone else and saying, look and like looking at their life and saying, man, I wish I had it.

31:22.758 --> 31:23.298
[SPEAKER_01]: Or often,

31:27.279 --> 31:41.873
[SPEAKER_01]: Why isn't my life like this and what you're not doing is looking to the goodness of God and the wonderful story that he's given you to become more like him like that contentment with what God is doing in your life is the beginning of love and I do think

31:43.881 --> 31:48.045
[SPEAKER_01]: all of the seven deadly sins, you know, in some ways are understandable.

31:48.945 --> 31:53.890
[SPEAKER_01]: When you think, oh, I'm a broken human being, just looking for somebody to say, well done, good and faithful, sir.

31:53.950 --> 31:54.270
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

31:54.470 --> 32:03.038
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, so many of us, you know, that you're like, we're trying so hard, because we never had a dad that said, I'm proud of you.

32:03.158 --> 32:03.438
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.

32:04.018 --> 32:11.622
[SPEAKER_01]: So many of us, and I would raise my hand here, even though we have a dad who loves us so much and says he's proud of us still just feel like I got to prove it.

32:11.642 --> 32:12.122
[SPEAKER_01]: I got to prove it.

32:12.142 --> 32:16.565
[SPEAKER_00]: I got to prove it because we're looking for that break in the heavens.

32:16.825 --> 32:17.025
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

32:17.205 --> 32:21.107
[SPEAKER_01]: The Jesus gets it as baptism for God to look down and say, well done.

32:21.828 --> 32:31.773
[SPEAKER_01]: And because we're not directing our gaze there through scripture or prayer or the flexion, we just keep looking to the internet or to our job or to our co-workers or to the people around us.

32:32.413 --> 32:39.700
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's understandable, like you long for somebody to say, you're doing great, and by the way, there's a story to your life.

32:40.361 --> 32:42.162
[SPEAKER_01]: And you're right at the point you should be at.

32:42.222 --> 32:42.503
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.

32:42.643 --> 32:44.925
[SPEAKER_01]: And like I can't wait to bring you to your future.

32:44.945 --> 32:45.906
[SPEAKER_01]: This is what God says to us.

32:45.926 --> 32:46.146
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

32:46.306 --> 32:48.609
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you're right at the point of your story that you're supposed to be with.

32:48.909 --> 32:50.050
[SPEAKER_01]: And we just long to hear that.

32:50.210 --> 32:52.432
[SPEAKER_01]: And instead of looking to God for it, we look to man for it.

32:52.492 --> 32:54.955
[SPEAKER_01]: Envy is essentially loving man.

32:54.995 --> 32:56.616
[SPEAKER_01]: We're not worshiping man more than God.

32:57.317 --> 32:57.437
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh.

32:59.160 --> 32:59.580
[SPEAKER_00]: Amen.

32:59.861 --> 33:00.081
[SPEAKER_00]: Amen.

33:00.121 --> 33:00.461
[SPEAKER_00]: Amen.

33:00.601 --> 33:07.067
[SPEAKER_00]: I think the deeper issue with envy is it envy almost always has a wound attached to it.

33:07.768 --> 33:20.440
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so just I'm going to I'm going to share this idea, but like it can come from shame It can come from I mean truly father wounds that's a big one performance based love is another idea like think about

33:20.980 --> 33:41.765
[SPEAKER_00]: How often you don't know love outside of performance like I don't know to receive love or give love because it's not based upon you know my performance So or feeling feeling unseen feeling like I've been in my whole family, but no one knows or sees what I do and so and be also we have to if we're going to go to the deep risk you like you'd start to mention you said

33:42.665 --> 33:43.386
[SPEAKER_00]: So many of these things.

33:43.406 --> 33:45.126
[SPEAKER_00]: We're just longing for something deeper.

33:45.146 --> 34:05.817
[SPEAKER_00]: So when it comes to this whole idea Vices an interesting one seven to the sins if we talk about what the lie of it is it's You know, envy is this idea that you're gonna get this life if you focus on it if you look at it if you I mean, it's actually this really false hollow promise

34:06.717 --> 34:10.940
[SPEAKER_00]: And what's interesting is it comes from a real, what makes it so tricky is it comes from a deep pain.

34:11.181 --> 34:12.322
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, it's a real spot.

34:12.842 --> 34:20.908
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's not just as easy, and I know people listening to this right now, I think it's fair to say to you, it's not just as easy but like, don't envy.

34:21.389 --> 34:22.029
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't scroll.

34:22.349 --> 34:23.510
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, don't envy.

34:23.610 --> 34:27.994
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't scroll, but do the deeper, better, the more important work of saying,

34:28.654 --> 34:34.538
[SPEAKER_00]: What void in my soul am I trying to fulfill by being more successful?

34:34.658 --> 34:47.166
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would say validations a big one who around you, like what validation are you seeking through these things that you need to seek from God and from understanding like you are already enough.

34:47.286 --> 34:48.907
[SPEAKER_00]: And these these deeper things.

34:48.927 --> 34:57.112
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's just to for for those listening just be just start the process of being aware that this doesn't come from just insecurity alone.

34:57.832 --> 35:01.075
[SPEAKER_00]: sometimes it isn't security plus these deeper things.

35:01.115 --> 35:12.886
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I just wanted to just name that so that we're not lost in this whole thing of thinking, this is if I just kind of remove a phone habit in this, it will take care of the deeper problem.

35:12.946 --> 35:15.788
[SPEAKER_00]: Actually, interestingly enough, the phone habit will help immensely.

35:15.988 --> 35:16.729
[SPEAKER_00]: They will help a lot.

35:16.869 --> 35:17.069
[SPEAKER_00]: Like,

35:17.990 --> 35:19.071
[SPEAKER_00]: choosing that is huge.

35:19.991 --> 35:22.012
[SPEAKER_00]: But it will start showing up in other ways.

35:22.252 --> 35:25.594
[SPEAKER_00]: Once that dies down and is long enough, we're like, oh, I feel okay.

35:25.654 --> 35:25.814
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

35:25.914 --> 35:29.916
[SPEAKER_00]: It will sneak up if you don't start identifying that deeper thing of Jesus wants to hear.

35:30.376 --> 35:32.878
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's a lovely point.

35:34.138 --> 35:37.660
[SPEAKER_01]: It strikes me that we should say about all vice, not just envy.

35:37.800 --> 35:39.621
[SPEAKER_01]: Be curious about your sin.

35:40.261 --> 35:40.741
[SPEAKER_01]: Like what?

35:40.802 --> 35:41.922
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, ask yourself

35:45.356 --> 35:49.759
[SPEAKER_01]: what is happening when I can't be content with the life I've been given.

35:49.799 --> 35:51.841
[SPEAKER_01]: What what what happened to me?

35:51.921 --> 35:52.822
[SPEAKER_01]: What do I think?

35:53.082 --> 35:57.125
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, that'll help you get to the bottom of it to the to the love question.

35:57.345 --> 35:57.625
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

35:57.886 --> 36:01.649
[SPEAKER_01]: But we've said about every vice and we'll say it again with this one.

36:02.889 --> 36:04.471
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't just put down a bad habit.

36:05.191 --> 36:06.212
[SPEAKER_01]: You got to replace it with a good one.

36:06.252 --> 36:07.293
[SPEAKER_01]: You just set it a minute ago.

36:07.373 --> 36:08.714
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't just stop being envious.

36:08.774 --> 36:09.575
[SPEAKER_01]: You can stop scrolling.

36:09.595 --> 36:10.096
[SPEAKER_01]: That's important.

36:10.116 --> 36:15.901
[SPEAKER_01]: But what we really need to do is practice the virtue of a love.

36:15.921 --> 36:25.569
[SPEAKER_01]: We need to practice being like Jesus in order to push out envy and and take on your clothes ourselves and and good deeds and loves so.

36:26.650 --> 36:33.599
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to spend a lot of time talking about the practices that are the antidote to envy.

36:34.140 --> 36:38.445
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll just say counter virtue here, the big counter virtue to envy is love.

36:38.745 --> 36:39.807
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.

36:39.947 --> 36:44.032
[SPEAKER_01]: First Corinthians 13, you know love does not envy.

36:45.872 --> 37:02.607
[SPEAKER_01]: The forms, the downstream forms of love that I think are more specific are the ability to bless others, the ability to speak well of others, the virtue of empathy with others in their highs and in their lows, rejoice with those who rejoice more than anyone.

37:03.828 --> 37:09.893
[SPEAKER_01]: The ability to be is quietly happy for someone else's success.

37:09.913 --> 37:11.194
[SPEAKER_01]: These are all forms of love.

37:12.355 --> 37:16.397
[SPEAKER_01]: But we have some, I think, practices to help you get there.

37:16.417 --> 37:17.277
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

37:17.918 --> 37:18.598
[SPEAKER_01]: I got four.

37:18.658 --> 37:19.418
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you, how many?

37:19.438 --> 37:23.520
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I just, I want to just add one that is in there too, the downstream of love.

37:24.281 --> 37:24.841
[SPEAKER_00]: Contentment.

37:25.381 --> 37:26.822
[SPEAKER_00]: Contentment is huge.

37:26.842 --> 37:29.363
[SPEAKER_00]: Philippians for, you've heard this before.

37:30.311 --> 37:35.539
[SPEAKER_00]: not that I am speaking of being in need for I have learned in whatever situation I am in to be content.

37:35.980 --> 37:40.407
[SPEAKER_00]: I know how to be brought low and I know how to bound and I can do all things through him.

37:40.587 --> 37:41.088
[SPEAKER_00]: Strengthens me.

37:41.108 --> 37:42.690
[SPEAKER_00]: He is a abbreviative first.

37:44.003 --> 38:01.600
[SPEAKER_00]: I think one of the things that has been so incredibly helpful in my life is one of the practices, I won't say practices yet, but there's this idea, it's a very known idea, but many of us have a mental committee.

38:02.460 --> 38:10.843
[SPEAKER_00]: We have people that are in our mind that are there either consciously or subconsciously and I would encourage you to try to identify who those people are.

38:11.043 --> 38:14.184
[SPEAKER_00]: You'll probably know them pretty easily if I paint this idea for you.

38:14.884 --> 38:23.627
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's simply just like who are those in your life that you judge your life against who you think are saying something that these are people that you look up to probably their people that

38:24.487 --> 38:26.289
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, you respect mv.

38:26.489 --> 38:40.159
[SPEAKER_00]: I think there's a lot of people on our mental community that we envy and we're constantly weighing our life like well, what would they say or what like what would they think about this particular thing knowing them and the truth about that is you'll never Guess them completely accurate.

38:40.219 --> 38:43.982
[SPEAKER_00]: So you're always again in that spot where you're the big concept of it is interesting

38:44.442 --> 38:54.106
[SPEAKER_00]: So, but even right now that like even Justin for you, there's people no doubt that are on your mental community, because all of us have them.

38:54.186 --> 39:00.509
[SPEAKER_00]: And whether you're super aware of it or not, there's people that you're running the grid, your life grid through.

39:01.189 --> 39:02.690
[SPEAKER_00]: How would Justin handle this?

39:03.370 --> 39:07.632
[SPEAKER_00]: How would I assume this person to handle this?

39:07.772 --> 39:08.953
[SPEAKER_00]: We do this with parenting all the time.

39:09.253 --> 39:13.696
[SPEAKER_00]: You might listen to this podcast and go, okay, from one I know from Brook and Justin, what do I think they would do?

39:13.776 --> 39:15.236
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, it doesn't mean one, your mental committee.

39:15.396 --> 39:23.281
[SPEAKER_00]: It means you're trying to like, way your understanding of yourself through these other lenses and metrics and ideas.

39:24.001 --> 39:25.962
[SPEAKER_00]: But those folks can land on your mental committee.

39:26.223 --> 39:32.467
[SPEAKER_01]: And there's, yeah, the answer question here, I don't think you're saying get rid of a mental committee.

39:32.487 --> 39:33.047
[SPEAKER_01]: No.

39:33.067 --> 39:39.431
[SPEAKER_00]: I think you're saying choose it well, I am saying have a, you, you will have a mental committee.

39:39.671 --> 39:39.912
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

39:39.992 --> 39:40.792
[SPEAKER_00]: Choose who's on it.

39:40.812 --> 39:42.293
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I think one of the strange,

39:44.775 --> 39:56.561
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a good clear fire, strange like just blasphemies, maybe of our culture, is like that sense, you know, the silly version of it is like, you know, dance like nobody's watching.

39:57.082 --> 40:04.045
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the idea that don't care about what any one thinks, just do you, just like that matter with the world things.

40:04.325 --> 40:04.846
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's it.

40:05.848 --> 40:13.313
[SPEAKER_01]: actually, you know, certain wise people, mentors or brothers are actually pretty good metrics of whether you are dancing in the right way.

40:13.813 --> 40:17.856
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think what I hear you saying is, choose a wise little committee.

40:18.016 --> 40:23.540
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, don't just measure yourself up to arbitrary or bad choices.

40:23.720 --> 40:24.020
[SPEAKER_00]: There was a

40:28.247 --> 40:53.035
[SPEAKER_00]: to clarify, and then also to finish the thought is just to say, you have to choose because there's certain people that are, you are constantly weighing your situation through and comparing to that it will never, you'll never be them, you'll never live up to them, and you're truly holding yourself back because you're constantly weighing yourself against these folks who

40:54.476 --> 40:57.378
[SPEAKER_00]: have different gifts or different people all different life circumstances.

40:57.398 --> 41:05.803
[SPEAKER_00]: Like interestingly enough there's a lot of people there's people in my life that have become successful in different ways.

41:07.184 --> 41:16.250
[SPEAKER_00]: All around like and it's interesting when you look at the details of people's lives you can start to realize like if I'm fair to look at the whole of people's lives and I look at my life.

41:16.970 --> 41:28.662
[SPEAKER_00]: If I'm going to compare fairly, I have to know, like, when I got to adulthood, I had a lot of healing to do before I could even start the process of really working on what I wanted to do with my life.

41:28.722 --> 41:33.106
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I didn't even know what I wanted to do with my life versus a story where there's a parent who is...

41:33.646 --> 41:44.914
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, like you're doing with your boys right now like I'm doing with my kids where by the time They're he's my sons and adult and stepping into college I want him to have a great idea of who he is what his strengths are what his weaknesses are I want to set him up for success.

41:45.014 --> 41:56.342
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't have that So a lot of my 20s was spent just figuring out who the heck am I right it's to say Like we everyone has a different advantage jumping into life and we'll compare ourselves without any of the facts.

41:56.443 --> 41:56.603
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah

41:57.243 --> 42:01.227
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's all to say, certain people can be taken off your mental committee and they should be.

42:01.868 --> 42:11.918
[SPEAKER_00]: And if they're not helping you and you're weighing it through the grid and you're feeling more depressed and you're feeling discouraged and you're feeling frustrated, they need to be taken off your mental committee.

42:12.498 --> 42:20.321
[SPEAKER_00]: And why I'm saying this because contentment is the biggest gift when you can start rejoicing in the life God is actually given you.

42:20.661 --> 42:23.462
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think, yes, we're going to talk about practices.

42:23.602 --> 42:33.326
[SPEAKER_00]: How do we begin to step into love into some of these different virtues and how do we, you know, essentially start the process of yeah, exposing envy.

42:33.786 --> 42:35.867
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's good because all that is great.

42:36.347 --> 42:37.928
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm actually very intrigued by it.

42:38.248 --> 42:39.969
[SPEAKER_01]: It's still pushes towards the question and go, how?

42:40.369 --> 42:54.709
[SPEAKER_01]: Like how do you remove somebody you know how do I stop caring about what my dad thinks or how do I stop caring about what that unhealthy personal I thinks I So I've got four I will just list them briefly then we can dive into them

42:56.815 --> 43:00.716
[SPEAKER_01]: as is classic for all these episodes you need to move out of hiding in the holiness.

43:00.736 --> 43:07.198
[SPEAKER_01]: So first practice would be specifically confess the ways that you are jealous and envy us.

43:07.778 --> 43:08.339
[SPEAKER_01]: Two other friends.

43:09.179 --> 43:09.839
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll say more on that.

43:10.499 --> 43:12.500
[SPEAKER_01]: To stop scrolling.

43:12.780 --> 43:18.042
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's a very specific command of a very specific way that our culture breeds envy.

43:18.062 --> 43:18.682
[SPEAKER_01]: And that is that we

43:20.063 --> 43:30.875
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't even think we even need to say like, social media or all the internet is bad just to say, you probably have a feed that's curated to make you envious and you need to stop that.

43:30.935 --> 43:32.576
[SPEAKER_01]: You need to like choose the right accounts.

43:33.618 --> 43:40.004
[SPEAKER_01]: Number four, I'm sorry, number three, you need to practice the discipline of gratitude and writing it down, talking about it, saying prayers of thankfulness.

43:40.585 --> 43:52.334
[SPEAKER_01]: And then number four would be practice the discipline of encouragement, actually saying affirming complementary, encouraging things to the very people for your NVSF, because after all, which was the love.

43:53.735 --> 43:57.658
[SPEAKER_01]: The people that are causing us frustration, and didn't need that to be your enemy.

43:57.799 --> 44:02.462
[SPEAKER_01]: It can be your brother, and instead of being NVSF him, you should actually praise him.

44:04.724 --> 44:15.806
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you have any add to the list for we doesn't think I think the only one I would add because I was the one that was huge for generosity, but actually celebration so the practice of celebration.

44:15.947 --> 44:26.049
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's really good but as an addition I think all of those are overlap but celebrations a little different to me in the sense that it is.

44:27.389 --> 44:29.973
[SPEAKER_00]: something that it it goes beyond encouragement.

44:30.374 --> 44:33.438
[SPEAKER_00]: It goes be like as encouraging as like just you're doing a really great job.

44:33.458 --> 44:33.618
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

44:33.959 --> 44:36.422
[SPEAKER_00]: Celebration is like the weeping with those that we enjoyed.

44:36.463 --> 44:41.550
[SPEAKER_00]: There's and there's an in like I'm celebrating something that you're doing and I get nothing.

44:42.271 --> 44:44.332
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I don't think you can do celebration without empathy.

44:44.352 --> 44:46.733
[SPEAKER_01]: You're truly happy with another person.

44:47.073 --> 44:49.774
[SPEAKER_00]: So celebration as far as it, how I think we celebrate.

44:49.974 --> 44:52.355
[SPEAKER_00]: We can talk about how that is, but those that would be the only addition.

44:52.716 --> 44:52.956
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd have.

44:52.976 --> 44:54.376
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, so let's, let's not come out really quick.

44:54.396 --> 44:55.537
[SPEAKER_00]: First communal confession.

44:56.817 --> 44:58.078
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's very helpful.

44:58.878 --> 45:11.689
[SPEAKER_01]: To be specific with your covenant friends about what parts of your life are racked with envy and awkwardly This might involve them This might involve that you confessing.

45:11.809 --> 45:16.514
[SPEAKER_01]: I've actually been envious of your ability to ex Say it.

45:16.594 --> 45:26.082
[SPEAKER_01]: I promise that'll actually make you closer as awkward as it might be but I think probably most guys Would be more willing to confess their lust

45:27.813 --> 45:29.274
[SPEAKER_01]: than they would be their envy.

45:29.895 --> 45:40.824
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think something's inherently embarrassing about envy, where you sort of admit that not just are you full of shortcomings, you actually wish you had somebody else's life.

45:40.864 --> 45:43.566
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if you guys resonate with this, but to me it's a little embarrassing.

45:44.126 --> 45:50.832
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's precisely the thing you need to name, that, all right, I'm actually envy us of this, that and the other person, we'll have some more questions about that.

45:50.912 --> 45:54.055
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, it won't be the end of the conversation.

45:54.795 --> 45:58.577
[SPEAKER_01]: because when you confess that to your friends, I'm envious of one, two, three people.

45:59.357 --> 46:01.799
[SPEAKER_01]: They will have so many questions about it.

46:01.819 --> 46:04.440
[SPEAKER_01]: And this is the idea, you know, your saying comes at you with reason.

46:04.520 --> 46:05.421
[SPEAKER_01]: It's actually insanity.

46:05.701 --> 46:08.322
[SPEAKER_01]: When you say it out loud, they'll be like, what?

46:08.402 --> 46:08.762
[SPEAKER_01]: Why?

46:08.782 --> 46:09.763
[SPEAKER_01]: Where are the...

46:09.943 --> 46:25.571
[SPEAKER_01]: like this is stupid or like that's really weird and that's exactly what you need to hear because you and your son have convinced yourself of this insane thing that God is not good to you and he is good to other people and saying it out loud as the beginning of the cracking that foundation.

46:25.671 --> 46:34.775
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm wondering you said you said it's kind of embarrassing when you I mean I think it's embarrassing to admit out loud that you're invasive somebody.

46:37.155 --> 46:40.661
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I mean specifically to admit out loud your envious of this name.

46:40.982 --> 46:41.302
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

46:41.743 --> 46:42.144
[SPEAKER_01]: Got it.

46:42.164 --> 46:42.925
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you find it embarrassing?

46:44.594 --> 46:50.180
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, I don't know, I'm maybe I just so know that I don't want to admit it.

46:50.300 --> 46:50.680
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.

46:51.181 --> 46:55.405
[SPEAKER_00]: No, well, I mean, to be fair, we all have our every every angle's different.

46:55.425 --> 47:08.617
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I think this is interesting to press into for a second, because I think hopefully in the variety and the differences of you and me, it hopefully paints different people's perspectives, because trying to think if I would be embarrassed of saying that I'm

47:10.926 --> 47:23.609
[SPEAKER_00]: And why I'm saying this, and I'm not trying to, I hope I'm embarrassing you now, I'm not trying to, I'm sorry if I have, but it's actually more of like trying to understand, as an example, you're not going to be

47:40.013 --> 47:44.340
[SPEAKER_00]: I would go, if that makes sense, it's probably a lot of people are in the use of that person.

47:44.861 --> 47:46.804
[SPEAKER_00]: So it doesn't hit me as embarrassing.

47:47.124 --> 47:48.286
[SPEAKER_00]: It hits me more as like.

47:49.516 --> 47:52.238
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you struggle with them, you just like everybody else.

47:53.219 --> 47:59.263
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think embarrassing comes at the fact that this is my guess I'm just going to diagnose you currently.

48:00.164 --> 48:00.884
[SPEAKER_00]: Diagnosis is the wrong word.

48:01.265 --> 48:12.073
[SPEAKER_00]: But it maybe comes at the fact or the root is a guess of the fact that you don't want to be envious of anybody because it almost looks like weakness, right?

48:12.493 --> 48:13.053
[SPEAKER_01]: Ding ding ding.

48:13.214 --> 48:13.454
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

48:13.514 --> 48:15.856
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I was just about to be like, let me be more specific.

48:15.876 --> 48:16.396
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, got it.

48:16.516 --> 48:19.798
[SPEAKER_01]: But let me get to the queen of sense pride at the end.

48:19.818 --> 48:23.720
[SPEAKER_01]: But that's truly, I'm just so, I'm so arrogant.

48:23.960 --> 48:28.262
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm so, I am, it don't think you are of it.

48:28.463 --> 48:32.625
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, but I know, you know, I'll be the judge of this.

48:32.645 --> 48:43.611
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I know, I am so inclined in my own head to think that I am great and that I'm better than so and so and I can figure it out.

48:44.351 --> 48:51.397
[SPEAKER_01]: So it is actually like a crack in my own stupid facade, uh, if I admit to somebody else that I'm envious.

48:51.697 --> 48:53.899
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm admitting to things in that moment.

48:54.119 --> 48:54.839
[SPEAKER_01]: That's one.

48:54.919 --> 48:56.440
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm admitting envy.

48:56.841 --> 48:57.061
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.

48:57.141 --> 48:58.982
[SPEAKER_01]: That I'm sending by being jealous of my brother.

48:59.863 --> 49:06.507
[SPEAKER_01]: two, I'm admitting that I am actually not as good as somebody, and I don't want other people to know that.

49:06.847 --> 49:07.188
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

49:07.228 --> 49:07.648
[SPEAKER_01]: And guess what?

49:07.688 --> 49:08.448
[SPEAKER_01]: Here's something.

49:08.809 --> 49:10.190
[SPEAKER_01]: They already know that.

49:10.290 --> 49:15.793
[SPEAKER_00]: They are, they are, they are, I guess, I think they all say, as highly as me as I think of myself.

49:15.893 --> 49:24.839
[SPEAKER_01]: It's particularly, I honestly think I'm confessing a lot of pride here, because it's just my particularly bent on this stuff, is that I'm so good.

49:24.859 --> 49:26.460
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not even, yes, other people.

49:27.060 --> 49:27.601
[SPEAKER_01]: Got it.

49:27.701 --> 49:28.441
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I don't know.

49:28.481 --> 49:29.562
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not dumb.

49:29.622 --> 49:30.783
[SPEAKER_01]: I said a lot to you.

49:30.923 --> 49:31.263
[SPEAKER_01]: No.

49:31.364 --> 49:32.464
[SPEAKER_01]: But your sand isn't sanity.

49:32.524 --> 49:38.169
[SPEAKER_00]: But let me just cover that in hopefully in a beautiful blanket of kindness.

49:38.983 --> 49:45.228
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, you're being really honest about the fact that it feels embarrassing to you, and that's a, that's a felt thing.

49:45.268 --> 49:46.689
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't have to be embarrassing.

49:47.049 --> 49:56.777
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't think it's because, you know, as people would experience you, I don't think it's because you go around with an air of arrogance, but I think this is where the heart is to seefully wicked.

49:56.997 --> 49:57.317
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

49:57.497 --> 49:58.958
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's the heart stuff.

49:59.699 --> 50:04.903
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that we all have those, those defaults and those details.

50:06.024 --> 50:15.675
[SPEAKER_00]: But I do think it's important note, you're talking about the importance of, of saying out loud.

50:15.695 --> 50:18.618
[SPEAKER_00]: What you're doing right now, you're saying it out loud and naming like,

50:19.602 --> 50:43.406
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I guess this is a deceitfully sneaky thing and I got to be honest about it and it shows up in all these peculiar ways and I don't even think it's the point of like if it's embarrassing to you or if it's embarrassing to me or not, I think the point is that envy just exposes all of this stuff and so it's going to hit you like that for some for me, it hits me in a whole different way, but I

50:43.806 --> 50:44.948
[SPEAKER_01]: But it doesn't matter how it gets you.

50:44.989 --> 50:54.947
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just like, man, you're I think the win on this conversation right now is to just hopefully, you know, skip back two minutes and listen to how just in process that out loud.

50:56.204 --> 50:57.925
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, well maybe because I'm just so freaking awesome.

50:57.945 --> 50:58.925
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it'll get you somewhere.

50:58.965 --> 51:03.287
[SPEAKER_01]: This is why be specific number two that stop scrolling.

51:03.307 --> 51:11.290
[SPEAKER_01]: This is a different practice and I think this harkens back to one of our themes that we're trying to bring in to most episodes and that is that you're not stuck in your scent.

51:11.610 --> 51:15.832
[SPEAKER_01]: Be enemy wants to call you by the name of your sin.

51:16.372 --> 51:18.553
[SPEAKER_01]: God wants to call you by your actually an actual name.

51:19.053 --> 51:20.073
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you're not your sin.

51:20.333 --> 51:21.074
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not stuck.

51:21.954 --> 51:23.655
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to always be like this.

51:24.395 --> 51:30.170
[SPEAKER_01]: You're a garden, you can change your agency along with God's providence is a beautiful thing.

51:30.270 --> 51:31.754
[SPEAKER_01]: It means growth and sanctification.

51:32.800 --> 51:42.049
[SPEAKER_01]: I think a lot of us feel stuck in our discontentment because we think it's our circumstances that have created this discontentment.

51:42.790 --> 51:45.612
[SPEAKER_01]: And if they don't change, we can't be happy, right?

51:46.053 --> 51:52.058
[SPEAKER_01]: When actually, it is your bad habit of comparing your circumstances that is making you unhappy.

51:52.078 --> 51:53.099
[SPEAKER_01]: It is not your circumstances.

51:53.580 --> 51:55.662
[SPEAKER_01]: God is actually ordained your circumstances.

51:56.342 --> 51:58.884
[SPEAKER_01]: to form you into the character of Christ.

51:59.584 --> 52:02.066
[SPEAKER_01]: Stop blaming your circumstances for your discontentment.

52:02.386 --> 52:12.012
[SPEAKER_01]: It's actually not your messy house or your misbehaved children or your annoying spouse that you're at mad at that are making you a discontent person.

52:12.513 --> 52:14.574
[SPEAKER_01]: It's your reaction to those things.

52:14.974 --> 52:22.880
[SPEAKER_01]: And I preface the stop scrolling with that because just one of the most low hanging fruits is you're living in a world that is

52:23.740 --> 52:26.261
[SPEAKER_01]: curated to produce discontent envy.

52:27.121 --> 52:32.122
[SPEAKER_01]: We scroll for pictures of other people's lives and other people's advice and other people's successes.

52:32.803 --> 52:38.904
[SPEAKER_01]: And you just, I just think you just need to soberly ask yourself, why the heck am I looking at this person?

52:39.705 --> 52:48.387
[SPEAKER_01]: There are plenty of good reasons to be on social media and to follow certain accounts, which is, by the way, not an uncontroversial statement.

52:48.427 --> 52:50.268
[SPEAKER_01]: Many people be like, there's no good reason to be on social media.

52:50.408 --> 52:51.448
[SPEAKER_01]: You shouldn't be scrolling at all.

52:52.208 --> 52:55.209
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm actually think there's a lot of, there's a lot of redeemable things.

52:55.249 --> 52:55.929
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

52:55.989 --> 52:57.430
[SPEAKER_01]: Otherwise, I wouldn't post on it.

52:57.490 --> 52:58.690
[SPEAKER_01]: I wouldn't want to bring people there at all.

52:59.051 --> 53:09.975
[SPEAKER_01]: But I do want to say, like, take an honest look or get your friend to get your husband or wife get your friend to look at your social media.

53:19.658 --> 53:20.719
[SPEAKER_01]: How should I decorate my house?

53:20.739 --> 53:23.041
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna follow some accounts or hey, how should I parent?

53:23.061 --> 53:24.062
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna follow some accounts.

53:24.542 --> 53:25.703
[SPEAKER_01]: How should I do spiritual disciplines?

53:25.723 --> 53:26.444
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna follow some accounts.

53:26.824 --> 53:30.127
[SPEAKER_01]: But then like, I don't know, nine out of ten of these are just making you feel bad about your life.

53:30.367 --> 53:33.690
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you're just stuck in envy of other people's lives.

53:33.710 --> 53:35.011
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it's because they have bad content.

53:35.031 --> 53:36.292
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it's because you have a bad reaction.

53:36.332 --> 53:36.653
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.

53:37.613 --> 53:51.067
[SPEAKER_00]: Stop scrolling it what about those what about those though like let's talk about this is important What about those who follow people like myself who follow the counts like nature is metal and all things about Japanese mini trucks like what does that say about me?

53:52.628 --> 53:53.189
[SPEAKER_00]: Nature's metal.

53:53.209 --> 53:54.850
[SPEAKER_00]: Have you followed that account?

53:55.030 --> 53:56.611
[SPEAKER_01]: No, but I know what favorite account.

53:56.631 --> 53:57.131
[SPEAKER_01]: What is that?

53:57.492 --> 54:06.878
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, it's just basically the gnarly stuff within nature and animals of like just the craziest, like, when I, I almost had that other, you know, that sounds amazing.

54:06.978 --> 54:07.518
[SPEAKER_00]: It's amazing.

54:07.558 --> 54:09.139
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm guessing that doesn't cause envy in your life.

54:09.380 --> 54:10.400
[SPEAKER_00]: No, but I'm just saying.

54:10.720 --> 54:15.304
[SPEAKER_00]: But, but, and account on Japanese minis tracks, I bet you're certain to think, I really want one of those.

54:15.564 --> 54:19.646
[SPEAKER_00]: I've, I've, I've, I've got, I've got two, I've got two examples here.

54:21.387 --> 54:30.270
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want this person to be named.

54:30.790 --> 54:31.170
[SPEAKER_01]: Never mind.

54:31.630 --> 54:35.011
[SPEAKER_01]: I know people who are like, I've scrolled these accounts long enough.

54:35.591 --> 54:38.752
[SPEAKER_01]: Now I must have this thing and now my whole life is about this thing.

54:38.792 --> 54:39.032
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.

54:39.152 --> 54:39.992
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

54:40.632 --> 54:41.593
[SPEAKER_01]: You didn't care.

54:41.613 --> 54:42.393
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me give you a good example.

54:43.093 --> 54:45.814
[SPEAKER_01]: I never cared about vintage motorcycles.

54:47.154 --> 54:52.817
[SPEAKER_01]: Until I started in law school, I set my home page to Huckberry.com.

54:52.917 --> 54:54.518
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a great clothing website.

54:55.139 --> 54:56.419
[SPEAKER_01]: I set my home page to it.

54:56.599 --> 54:57.080
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.

54:57.780 --> 55:04.323
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I don't know why, but about two months later, I got in my head that I needed to buy a vintage motorcycle.

55:05.384 --> 55:10.967
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I, as a poor third year law student,

55:12.427 --> 55:16.010
[SPEAKER_01]: whose family, by the way, didn't even own a vehicle at that time.

55:16.390 --> 55:20.053
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, investing in a vintage motorcycle was a really dumb decision financially for my family.

55:20.093 --> 55:22.055
[SPEAKER_01]: I sold it a year later, because it was so stupid.

55:22.215 --> 55:23.636
[SPEAKER_01]: But you didn't give it a little.

55:23.696 --> 55:25.717
[SPEAKER_01]: In 1974, BMW, are you serious?

55:25.858 --> 55:26.118
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah.

55:26.218 --> 55:27.659
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, it looks so cool.

55:27.679 --> 55:28.620
[SPEAKER_01]: What was the model?

55:29.340 --> 55:33.323
[SPEAKER_01]: It was at what I'm blanking on RX 750, I'm probably saying it wrong.

55:33.343 --> 55:36.326
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it was cafe racer style.

55:36.346 --> 55:37.527
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, like this is the point.

55:37.567 --> 55:37.767
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.

55:39.000 --> 55:41.663
[SPEAKER_01]: I got there just by scrolling.

55:42.264 --> 55:46.248
[SPEAKER_01]: And I ended up making a pretty dumb financial decision for our family at the time.

55:46.268 --> 55:47.049
[SPEAKER_01]: I wouldn't even expect it.

55:47.069 --> 55:48.571
[SPEAKER_01]: It was like 3,000 bucks.

55:48.931 --> 55:50.833
[SPEAKER_01]: But in retrospect, it was like, that was 3,000 bucks.

55:51.193 --> 55:53.055
[SPEAKER_01]: My family feel like good-a-veused on something else.

55:55.517 --> 55:58.078
[SPEAKER_01]: I give you another one right now, actually.

55:58.098 --> 56:01.359
[SPEAKER_01]: I had a friend come to me just a month ago.

56:02.359 --> 56:04.620
[SPEAKER_01]: If you follow me on social media, that's actually might be familiar.

56:05.020 --> 56:13.582
[SPEAKER_01]: I had a friend come to me a month ago saying, hey, someone just asked me, literally, a friend asked him, they don't know me.

56:13.762 --> 56:17.063
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so a person that doesn't know me, asked one of my close friends.

56:17.963 --> 56:19.904
[SPEAKER_01]: Is it as just as life as good as it looks?

56:22.412 --> 56:23.592
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, it was a good dude to you.

56:23.752 --> 56:24.473
[SPEAKER_00]: It was weird.

56:24.853 --> 56:25.073
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

56:25.553 --> 56:29.154
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I was like, wait, what are you talking about and he was like, I don't know.

56:29.454 --> 56:31.654
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not because this friend is not on social media.

56:31.814 --> 56:38.656
[SPEAKER_01]: It's for a like, you know what you're posting, but he, this guy is like, is this like just looks like his life is so much fun and like, so perfect.

56:39.496 --> 56:41.916
[SPEAKER_01]: And it, two, I two things happened in that memory.

56:42.957 --> 56:45.017
[SPEAKER_01]: One, it was a little resentful.

56:46.465 --> 56:48.707
[SPEAKER_01]: and mad because I was like, that's not true.

56:49.047 --> 56:50.088
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, who is this guy?

56:50.108 --> 56:52.950
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't even know you're talking about, like, is this sort of like hearsay in the world of layering?

56:52.970 --> 56:53.611
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know this person.

56:54.311 --> 56:55.712
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't even on social media friends.

56:55.752 --> 56:56.593
[SPEAKER_01]: So you don't know what I post.

56:56.993 --> 56:57.874
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was sort of defensive.

56:57.894 --> 57:03.758
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, look, I kind of stake my whole writing claim on being vulnerable and honest about the bad things in my life.

57:04.159 --> 57:10.203
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, if anybody reads me, they know that I'm not trying to put up before a list of this podcast.

57:10.664 --> 57:11.785
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, but yeah.

57:12.405 --> 57:17.189
[SPEAKER_01]: But then I just started to think for a minute and listen to this friend and be like, well, maybe we're going to look.

57:17.229 --> 57:28.058
[SPEAKER_01]: And I, and I, I started realize, you know what, whether intentional or not, my long-form reels are about like, hey, I struggle with this.

57:28.078 --> 57:29.059
[SPEAKER_01]: Here's what I'm practicing.

57:29.959 --> 57:39.727
[SPEAKER_01]: But my regular ordinary stories are posts are just like pictures of things that like I like at my kids or vacations that we're having or things that I'm doing or like, yeah, metrics.

57:39.747 --> 57:40.087
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like,

57:42.249 --> 57:59.458
[SPEAKER_01]: It's probably really easy for somebody to follow me, and if they're not paying attention to my long-form content in podcast or books, and they're just scrolling, as I don't know, probably a couple hundred thousand of them are that they're just seeing another dude who looks like he has the perfect life.

57:59.838 --> 58:03.300
[SPEAKER_01]: And that really bothered me, because I was like, it might not even be intentional.

58:03.380 --> 58:08.583
[SPEAKER_01]: And honestly, it wasn't like I'm not trying to present a ideal life online, but it bothered me that that was possible.

58:09.303 --> 58:13.488
[SPEAKER_00]: Especially because you work towards not being the counter.

58:14.029 --> 58:18.394
[SPEAKER_00]: But to say, this is an important just note to connect for anyone listening.

58:20.272 --> 58:46.221
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I can say this you can't because you're you actually are humble and you don't care too much, but you are successful in your world In I mean, you're not you've sold some books people have read him few people very few But they're still so you sell a lot Another slice like you sell tons of books and you have helped so many people and that's real like we were out to dinner last night Somebody stopped us and like did you write episode the house?

58:46.321 --> 58:48.902
[SPEAKER_00]: I just started laughing as like this is so class like that

58:49.502 --> 58:50.923
[SPEAKER_00]: always made front of you for that.

58:51.404 --> 58:52.905
[SPEAKER_00]: But quick pause.

58:53.926 --> 58:56.608
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, those like, by the way, if I listening, it means the world to me.

58:56.968 --> 58:57.629
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, it wouldn't rain.

58:57.649 --> 58:58.489
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I'm just coming up there.

58:58.509 --> 58:59.190
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, I'm sorry.

58:59.210 --> 58:59.690
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm bothering you.

58:59.710 --> 59:00.131
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, dude.

59:00.431 --> 59:00.911
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I know.

59:01.011 --> 59:01.892
[SPEAKER_00]: This is so honoring.

59:01.932 --> 59:02.392
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so glad.

59:02.412 --> 59:05.655
[SPEAKER_01]: So if anybody, if you see me in the wild, say hi, you know, always keep going.

59:05.935 --> 59:07.036
[SPEAKER_00]: Always just to say yes.

59:07.296 --> 59:08.717
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the case for all of us.

59:08.758 --> 59:12.581
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's, it's a gift to bump into people that have been encouraged by work.

59:12.621 --> 59:13.782
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, that's a huge gift.

59:14.502 --> 59:24.188
[SPEAKER_00]: But what I'm connecting these dots for people because there is no doubt that person I'm going to make some jumps here of assumptions, but I don't think they're probably too far off.

59:25.029 --> 59:28.611
[SPEAKER_00]: A guy asking your friend that is probably invious.

59:29.191 --> 59:33.134
[SPEAKER_00]: The question is, but I mean, truly wouldn't be a hard stretch to go.

59:33.594 --> 59:38.917
[SPEAKER_00]: That question, even at its core, is rooted in, is his life as good as it produced?

59:43.100 --> 59:43.860
[SPEAKER_00]: I know you didn't take it away.

59:43.900 --> 59:48.241
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, because it's also possible that he was like, am I doing something wrong?

59:48.261 --> 59:50.662
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, how, how is this so easy for him?

59:50.742 --> 59:52.222
[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, so it's a little bit of, I don't know.

59:52.242 --> 59:57.363
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe, but I mean, whether how you took it, how he spent it, we will, we know you're, so we don't know his.

59:57.803 --> 01:00:02.885
[SPEAKER_00]: I guess the point I'm trying to make is, you for a lot of people, people could look at your life.

01:00:03.145 --> 01:00:04.285
[SPEAKER_00]: People could look at my life.

01:00:04.325 --> 01:00:09.126
[SPEAKER_00]: They could look at what we're doing and they could go, well, must be nice guys.

01:00:13.687 --> 01:00:15.888
[SPEAKER_00]: that I'm pretty sure if I had them I would be happy.

01:00:16.608 --> 01:00:21.490
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think it's important for both of us to say with full integrity and hopefully from this conversation.

01:00:22.130 --> 01:00:24.791
[SPEAKER_00]: We are just as discontent and VSS you are.

01:00:24.971 --> 01:00:25.151
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

01:00:25.351 --> 01:00:26.792
[SPEAKER_00]: And we do not have this dialed.

01:00:27.012 --> 01:00:33.634
[SPEAKER_00]: And we, there's always going to be someone better, always someone with more, always someone with more influence, more money, more time, more talent, power.

01:00:34.494 --> 01:00:39.776
[SPEAKER_00]: And really it is the goal of becoming, and I'll talk about this in a second,

01:00:42.917 --> 01:00:43.177
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

01:00:44.197 --> 01:01:00.761
[SPEAKER_00]: To celebrate the life you have and where I'm going to talk about how to do that, but there's there's no other win for any of us, like, whether you have all the things you hope for or not, if you do not learn to be content and celebrate the life you actually have and be content with it and accept it, you will always be on this train of your misery.

01:01:01.401 --> 01:01:07.042
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm putting, can I think those dots for people because people could easily look at it and be like, well, Justin, it's probably easy for you to say.

01:01:07.882 --> 01:01:13.403
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's not, and I think even this conversation is important because what we're doing right now is telling the truth.

01:01:13.543 --> 01:01:15.563
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, yeah, just shedding the lies.

01:01:15.583 --> 01:01:17.064
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, guys, it doesn't work that way.

01:01:17.124 --> 01:01:18.084
[SPEAKER_00]: And so here's the truth.

01:01:18.364 --> 01:01:18.924
[SPEAKER_00]: We all struggle.

01:01:19.064 --> 01:01:25.565
[SPEAKER_01]: I would say one of the songs that resonates with me more than any other one, if you've ever seen the greatest showman.

01:01:25.905 --> 01:01:27.466
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, they saw them in the middle, but never enough.

01:01:27.546 --> 01:01:28.866
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you just sing the whole thing right now.

01:01:28.886 --> 01:01:29.646
[SPEAKER_00]: All the songs on the sky.

01:01:29.706 --> 01:01:30.966
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the whole thing starting from January.

01:01:30.986 --> 01:01:32.686
[SPEAKER_01]: I was getting, oh my God, it's so good.

01:01:32.706 --> 01:01:34.707
[SPEAKER_01]: If I could sing it, I would be arrogant enough to sing it, right now.

01:01:34.727 --> 01:01:35.207
[SPEAKER_01]: But I'm not good.

01:01:35.787 --> 01:01:49.135
[SPEAKER_01]: But I just, if anybody's like, I think, yes, I think the social media thing bothered me because I want, I truly want so deeply to know that like, no, I'm not content.

01:01:49.175 --> 01:01:50.956
[SPEAKER_01]: I want people not know my life's not perfect.

01:01:51.657 --> 01:01:58.021
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm writing about and posting about a separate size because I want to be part of the brotherhood of community of helping other people.

01:01:58.838 --> 01:02:00.120
[SPEAKER_01]: It's never enough for me.

01:02:00.661 --> 01:02:09.634
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, if you envies of me, God help you, just like me being envies of others, God help me, because every other single person sings the same song, it's never enough.

01:02:09.734 --> 01:02:10.375
[SPEAKER_01]: It's never enough.

01:02:10.395 --> 01:02:15.282
[SPEAKER_01]: There's never enough money, never enough sex, never enough followers, never enough likes, never enough sales.

01:02:17.102 --> 01:02:29.765
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think it's so important in our moment to note the way that social media tends to cut off the brotherhood of humanity and tends to make us envy us and we all do better if we're more honest.

01:02:29.785 --> 01:02:43.989
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's only been a month, but after that comment, I just tried to pivot to more long form writing posts to be like, these may or may not perform well, but I just want to be honest about like the stuff that I'm actually processing through in life.

01:02:46.570 --> 01:02:49.671
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you might see a picture of my last week's Colorado vacation with my kids.

01:02:49.751 --> 01:02:50.752
[SPEAKER_01]: It was awesome to be honest.

01:02:50.972 --> 01:02:57.956
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but you're also going to read about something I'm frustrated about in my own life, because I don't want you to miss that I'm imperfect.

01:02:57.976 --> 01:02:58.176
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.

01:02:58.196 --> 01:03:03.899
[SPEAKER_01]: We do all the long time on that when gratitude, spiritual discipline, of gratitude that this place is.

01:03:03.939 --> 01:03:05.040
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you practice that?

01:03:05.979 --> 01:03:12.123
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, I think when I know how I do it, I think journaling is a very powerful tool for that.

01:03:12.143 --> 01:03:12.824
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what I was going to say.

01:03:13.044 --> 01:03:19.688
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not for maybe for everybody, but I will say, and I don't journal every day all the time, but I do probably a couple times a week have moments.

01:03:19.708 --> 01:03:24.671
[SPEAKER_00]: And journaling for me is not even a practice of having to fulfill a certain order of things.

01:03:24.711 --> 01:03:25.692
[SPEAKER_00]: It's processing stuff.

01:03:26.332 --> 01:03:28.054
[SPEAKER_00]: But writing down what I'm processing is good.

01:03:28.794 --> 01:03:38.083
[SPEAKER_00]: So, but it's funny to journal because when you start to look through, journaling, keeping a record, mungoingly of where you're at, man.

01:03:38.163 --> 01:03:43.668
[SPEAKER_00]: It is a very eye-opening situation to look back over a month and see how wildly up and down you are.

01:03:43.928 --> 01:03:54.518
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, and so much, how much more over 20 years for my fourth birthday a year and a half ago, I read my journals from college, it was so helpful.

01:03:54.838 --> 01:04:00.003
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, and exactly what's the point of gratitude, I think, is I think it is naming what?

01:04:02.970 --> 01:04:03.811
[SPEAKER_00]: naming what is good.

01:04:04.852 --> 01:04:06.273
[SPEAKER_00]: Something I feel like I have to say.

01:04:07.154 --> 01:04:14.640
[SPEAKER_00]: So many of us complain about answered prayers that we're living in right now.

01:04:16.302 --> 01:04:16.402
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh.

01:04:18.611 --> 01:04:19.411
[SPEAKER_00]: So I say that again.

01:04:19.431 --> 01:04:19.952
[SPEAKER_01]: That's good.

01:04:19.992 --> 01:04:20.232
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

01:04:20.673 --> 01:04:22.695
[SPEAKER_01]: We're complaining about the answered person.

01:04:22.755 --> 01:04:26.999
[SPEAKER_00]: So many of us are MBS and we're complaining of where we're not.

01:04:27.299 --> 01:04:30.042
[SPEAKER_00]: And right now we're living and answered prayers of 10 years.

01:04:30.082 --> 01:04:30.362
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.

01:04:30.462 --> 01:04:36.448
[SPEAKER_01]: Like like you prayed for so long to get married and have kids and now your whole life is complaining about that marriage and kids.

01:04:36.868 --> 01:04:50.321
[SPEAKER_00]: I, I pretty for so many years to find what I was made to do, I feel that now and it's just not enough because now it's not big enough for good enough for whatever the thing, you know, again, it's just such a good advice.

01:04:50.679 --> 01:04:56.207
[SPEAKER_00]: So we have to remember not to complain in this reality that we're living in.

01:04:56.848 --> 01:04:58.110
[SPEAKER_00]: These were prayers that God answered.

01:04:58.150 --> 01:04:59.291
[SPEAKER_00]: You asked for a lot of this.

01:04:59.692 --> 01:05:02.075
[SPEAKER_00]: So I don't think you get the right always to just complain about it.

01:05:02.396 --> 01:05:06.882
[SPEAKER_00]: Saying that because even in my own journal process, the gratitude piece has been like,

01:05:08.115 --> 01:05:08.315
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow.

01:05:08.795 --> 01:05:10.557
[SPEAKER_00]: I asked for this and it's happening.

01:05:10.577 --> 01:05:11.658
[SPEAKER_00]: I asked for this and it's happening.

01:05:12.058 --> 01:05:22.645
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think it's just being objective in naming it and if you're going to name what's bad, you have to have the practice of naming what has been so good.

01:05:22.685 --> 01:05:27.689
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're going to be super harsh, you are only going to do yourself and everyone around your service.

01:05:27.749 --> 01:05:30.091
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're you also honestly objectively name what has been good.

01:05:30.231 --> 01:05:30.491
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

01:05:30.991 --> 01:05:34.093
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I couldn't agree more that you actually hit the nail on the head.

01:05:34.133 --> 01:05:46.339
[SPEAKER_01]: It's it's kind of embarrassing early Convicting that a lot of our Discontentment is with the answers to prayer that they got gave us and now we're just in the next phase We're saying well, I wanted more than this Um, gratitude.

01:05:46.359 --> 01:05:56.464
[SPEAKER_01]: I think one of the most helpful practices in my life Um, that happened shortly after my anxiety crash as I started Nealing by my bed each morning and thanking God for the day

01:05:57.424 --> 01:06:05.789
[SPEAKER_01]: And because I used to begin the morning in like a restless didn't sleep enough nervous about what was going to happen that day.

01:06:05.809 --> 01:06:10.652
[SPEAKER_01]: So I had a liturgy of anxiety happening every morning.

01:06:10.812 --> 01:06:12.653
[SPEAKER_01]: I would just be like, Oh my gosh today is blank.

01:06:13.313 --> 01:06:18.036
[SPEAKER_01]: And I replaced it with the liturgy of gratitude.

01:06:18.096 --> 01:06:20.838
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to deliberately kneel every morning and just thank I for the day.

01:06:21.579 --> 01:06:22.179
[SPEAKER_01]: It did it this morning.

01:06:22.219 --> 01:06:24.181
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just so second nature now.

01:06:25.381 --> 01:06:26.842
[SPEAKER_01]: I shouldn't yell by the bed cross myself.

01:06:27.363 --> 01:06:32.786
[SPEAKER_01]: We're like, thank you, Jesus, for this that or the, sometimes it's just like the day, the good night's sleep.

01:06:33.307 --> 01:06:33.907
[SPEAKER_01]: Cross up.

01:06:34.127 --> 01:06:34.528
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

01:06:34.548 --> 01:06:39.171
[SPEAKER_01]: That's going to be some people going to find that cross of controversial subjective in that episode.

01:06:39.331 --> 01:06:40.292
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I love, I love it.

01:06:42.573 --> 01:06:45.854
[SPEAKER_01]: You might not be surprised if you've heard or read some about Jesus as a soul.

01:06:45.894 --> 01:06:53.735
[SPEAKER_01]: I've found that embodied motion of coming under the cross to be an incredible way to enter into.

01:06:53.775 --> 01:06:58.976
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah, everything in my life, I owe to the cross of Jesus, including this morning.

01:06:59.557 --> 01:07:06.118
[SPEAKER_00]: This day, any Christian that would be weird about that probably has some pretty interesting theology.

01:07:06.718 --> 01:07:10.579
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, when I what I mean is like, and I'm not trying to pull shade on anybody.

01:07:10.619 --> 01:07:10.939
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm saying,

01:07:12.612 --> 01:07:20.274
[SPEAKER_00]: We, it's so funny how, you know, you even making that comment proves how many people become so focused on the wrong thing.

01:07:20.334 --> 01:07:22.655
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that is the cross of Jesus for good to see.

01:07:22.715 --> 01:07:24.435
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah, they may be like, it's too careful.

01:07:24.455 --> 01:07:25.316
[SPEAKER_01]: Look, I did nervous.

01:07:25.396 --> 01:07:26.676
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, okay, we'll cross it crisis.

01:07:26.696 --> 01:07:27.516
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I can't.

01:07:27.716 --> 01:07:28.296
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

01:07:28.576 --> 01:07:32.938
[SPEAKER_01]: And I come through the cross to be grateful for the life that the death and resurrection provides.

01:07:34.618 --> 01:07:40.140
[SPEAKER_01]: a short kneeling prayer in the morning has been one way that I know at least for a moment every day I'm going to say gratitude.

01:07:40.380 --> 01:07:51.063
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm loud there are many others and I journaling I would actually be like that's not mean one be already said that I want to I want to get to encouragement and celebrating others as I last one kind of thing there.

01:07:51.363 --> 01:07:52.904
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, sort of one of the same.

01:07:52.944 --> 01:08:00.066
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, um, I don't meet Envious people who are constantly encouraging other people

01:08:00.826 --> 01:08:03.148
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, this is kind of like in our first episode.

01:08:03.268 --> 01:08:07.492
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't meet people who are reading all the time that are also slothful.

01:08:07.752 --> 01:08:08.112
[SPEAKER_01]: There you go.

01:08:08.212 --> 01:08:12.496
[SPEAKER_01]: Being a curious reader tends to displace a CDA in your life.

01:08:13.577 --> 01:08:21.623
[SPEAKER_01]: Being a person who encourages other people, who says and blesses your brother, who says great things about other people, like, I love what they do.

01:08:21.643 --> 01:08:22.604
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so proud of them.

01:08:23.224 --> 01:08:25.186
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh man, look at, look at what that guy's doing.

01:08:25.206 --> 01:08:28.368
[SPEAKER_01]: Good for him, that demeanor.

01:08:29.717 --> 01:08:33.959
[SPEAKER_01]: is not just the opposite of envy, it displaces envy.

01:08:33.979 --> 01:08:40.302
[SPEAKER_01]: So you can't just stop the bad, you have to practice the good, be like God.

01:08:40.322 --> 01:08:45.645
[SPEAKER_01]: And God sees all of your brothers as adopted sons.

01:08:47.525 --> 01:09:06.771
[SPEAKER_01]: God has no favorites, he loves you all, and he blesses each of your brothers, and like be like him, bless your brother, but we don't live in a economy of scarcity, we live in the economy of the gospel, where your brother's success is your success, because he's your brother in Christ.

01:09:06.811 --> 01:09:07.732
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.

01:09:07.772 --> 01:09:08.672
[SPEAKER_01]: So say it.

01:09:09.132 --> 01:09:16.775
[SPEAKER_01]: Like there's no better way to do this than by displaced the thoughts of envy by saying the thoughts of encouragement to other people.

01:09:17.055 --> 01:09:17.676
[SPEAKER_01]: Celebrate them.

01:09:18.696 --> 01:09:21.877
[SPEAKER_01]: Even if you don't feel it yet, it's a great way to practice feeling it.

01:09:24.418 --> 01:09:27.740
[SPEAKER_00]: But it takes humility.

01:09:28.480 --> 01:09:31.081
[SPEAKER_00]: So what I'll say is encouraging people,

01:09:33.470 --> 01:09:57.864
[SPEAKER_00]: means you have to be okay with not being the limelight have to be okay with yeah but you say that yeah but that's we all like that's the hardest part it's it's choosing and I'm saying this from first hand experience like it's so you have to be okay with not being the center of the show you're serving others and so it's even that key of like how do we get that out of our life it's like choosing to remember

01:09:59.205 --> 01:10:15.609
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm

01:10:29.652 --> 01:10:32.694
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes just always it's going to change your heart.

01:10:32.874 --> 01:10:36.056
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to be like, oh, wow.

01:10:36.456 --> 01:10:38.557
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, look, I'm, I feel like this.

01:10:38.597 --> 01:10:39.077
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to do this.

01:10:39.697 --> 01:10:47.522
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes the whole experience going to change your heart by you practicing encouragement and neither are the wrong place to start.

01:10:47.702 --> 01:10:47.962
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.

01:10:48.342 --> 01:10:53.725
[SPEAKER_01]: If you practice encouragement, you're hoping for gospel regeneration of your heart to make you really feel it.

01:10:54.405 --> 01:10:57.146
[SPEAKER_01]: if you really feel it, you better not keep it to yourself.

01:10:57.186 --> 01:10:58.267
[SPEAKER_01]: You ought to be encouraged.

01:10:58.327 --> 01:11:00.748
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's that's where the grace and agency faith and work.

01:11:00.768 --> 01:11:01.528
[SPEAKER_01]: This is a good point.

01:11:01.849 --> 01:11:02.709
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not in together.

01:11:03.049 --> 01:11:04.330
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't care where you start.

01:11:04.510 --> 01:11:08.152
[SPEAKER_00]: I just care that you do one or the other one that one perpetuates the other.

01:11:08.172 --> 01:11:10.453
[SPEAKER_01]: They must lead to each other because otherwise what are we at?

01:11:10.993 --> 01:11:13.594
[SPEAKER_01]: We're at legalism, fake words, flattery, falsity.

01:11:13.934 --> 01:11:14.475
[SPEAKER_01]: And by the way,

01:11:15.815 --> 01:11:23.199
[SPEAKER_01]: I just read Dante, but as we're preparing for the seven decades, I read Dante's in Fernou, pretty gross stuff.

01:11:23.239 --> 01:11:30.183
[SPEAKER_01]: He goes through the circles of hell and how all these people are being punished and suffering for their sin.

01:11:30.964 --> 01:11:35.126
[SPEAKER_01]: And the flatterers are really deep in hell.

01:11:35.246 --> 01:11:38.648
[SPEAKER_01]: To Dante, the idea of saying something,

01:11:39.428 --> 01:11:59.035
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't mean, for your own gain, was a disgusting perversion of God, because God uses words to only say truth, and he uses words to give life to the other, and when you use flattery to get something, a position or an achievement, he's literally the opposite of God, it's deep in hell.

01:11:59.695 --> 01:12:10.764
[SPEAKER_01]: And so just want to be really clear what I don't mean is say words that you don't mean no no for your own benefit, but I mean practice being encouraging because it will make you more humble and as you get become more humble, be encouraging.

01:12:11.185 --> 01:12:11.745
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.

01:12:12.386 --> 01:12:22.594
[SPEAKER_00]: I think the the piece about not only humility but as you're talking about words, you will never regret and this is important

01:12:28.079 --> 01:12:28.659
[SPEAKER_00]: giving thing.

01:12:28.940 --> 01:12:30.120
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to think about it.

01:12:30.220 --> 01:12:30.441
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

01:12:30.621 --> 01:12:32.302
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to wait for the perfect time.

01:12:33.262 --> 01:12:39.026
[SPEAKER_00]: Every time you encourage somebody to let somebody up, it will be a net positive and it will be helpful for them.

01:12:39.406 --> 01:12:41.428
[SPEAKER_00]: So all these things are like, well, it's not the right moment.

01:12:41.448 --> 01:12:43.269
[SPEAKER_00]: Just pick up the phone, voice memo, text it.

01:12:44.009 --> 01:12:46.071
[SPEAKER_00]: Promise you right now, you will get a response.

01:12:46.171 --> 01:12:47.692
[SPEAKER_00]: Most people will usually text back.

01:12:47.792 --> 01:12:49.673
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm crying right now or get the light.

01:12:49.693 --> 01:12:50.834
[SPEAKER_00]: These are these are three.

01:12:51.454 --> 01:13:00.179
[SPEAKER_00]: So, last as we close, like just as an antithesis love, content with your actual life, the one thing I just think is important to just finish this episode.

01:13:00.499 --> 01:13:11.946
[SPEAKER_00]: In this particular section of three of these particular sins, content with your actual life and acceptance of it is something that can only happen again by the power of the Holy Spirit.

01:13:11.986 --> 01:13:16.409
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to realize that there will always be something better.

01:13:17.129 --> 01:13:26.357
[SPEAKER_00]: And so when we get to a spot where we can just breathe and enjoy, it's not helpful to think of, well, what if I would have married that person?

01:13:26.758 --> 01:13:29.620
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not helpful to think of, what if my kids were those people's kids?

01:13:30.041 --> 01:13:31.142
[SPEAKER_00]: What if my situation was different?

01:13:31.462 --> 01:13:36.066
[SPEAKER_00]: You can be pretty, you can be sure it will never be positive to dwell in any of that stuff.

01:13:36.586 --> 01:13:50.116
[SPEAKER_00]: And so being content even in your work requires what we talked about, even last episode, it requires long-suffering impatience, because, for example, the goals that you're trying to hit, they're big goals.

01:13:50.397 --> 01:13:50.937
[SPEAKER_00]: What does that mean?

01:13:51.177 --> 01:13:52.939
[SPEAKER_00]: The main is going to take decades probably to hit.

01:13:53.399 --> 01:13:59.163
[SPEAKER_00]: In reality, and same for me and other people, so sometimes we get really off on the fact that something hasn't happened so quick.

01:13:59.664 --> 01:14:00.024
[SPEAKER_00]: God's like,

01:14:00.744 --> 01:14:01.425
[SPEAKER_00]: It's happening.

01:14:01.445 --> 01:14:04.287
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not happening yet because this takes time to marinate, you know?

01:14:04.487 --> 01:14:04.687
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

01:14:04.807 --> 01:14:10.891
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I would just encourage wherever you're at to not get discouraged by this and not let it and be take your time.

01:14:11.031 --> 01:14:11.211
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

01:14:12.332 --> 01:14:17.335
[SPEAKER_00]: God's giving you a lot of, he's given them all of us an opportunity to have perspective of of grace and goodness.

01:14:17.435 --> 01:14:18.816
[SPEAKER_00]: We just have to choose that's so good.

01:14:19.057 --> 01:14:23.159
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think it's just the reminder and these are choice just like all these are.

01:14:23.680 --> 01:14:26.562
[SPEAKER_00]: But the antithesis is to just look at your

01:14:27.362 --> 01:14:35.917
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, there's plenty of garbage in mine that I don't love just like there's in yours and there's plenty of things that are way beyond compare that I don't deserve so

01:14:37.518 --> 01:14:39.299
[SPEAKER_01]: quick recap for our listeners.

01:14:40.619 --> 01:14:47.662
[SPEAKER_01]: This brings us to the end of our first three sense, which are sins of not seeing the world, the way God sees it.

01:14:47.702 --> 01:14:53.584
[SPEAKER_01]: So a CD or a sloth, you think the world isn't really worth rejoicing over or engaging in or being intentional.

01:14:53.664 --> 01:14:55.165
[SPEAKER_01]: And but God sees it as worth it.

01:14:56.125 --> 01:14:57.626
[SPEAKER_01]: Anger, you think.

01:14:58.506 --> 01:15:00.547
[SPEAKER_01]: judgment should happen in your time in your way.

01:15:00.707 --> 01:15:01.927
[SPEAKER_01]: No, see the world rightly.

01:15:02.387 --> 01:15:04.528
[SPEAKER_01]: God brings judgment in his way.

01:15:04.808 --> 01:15:06.188
[SPEAKER_01]: You can relieve yourself of anger.

01:15:06.869 --> 01:15:07.449
[SPEAKER_01]: And then envy.

01:15:08.769 --> 01:15:13.951
[SPEAKER_01]: You envy is a failure to see that God gave you your story for a specific reason.

01:15:14.011 --> 01:15:15.551
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the most beautiful reason in the world.

01:15:15.571 --> 01:15:17.592
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's see to make you like him.

01:15:18.152 --> 01:15:20.593
[SPEAKER_01]: He's using your story with all its struggles and problems.

01:15:21.273 --> 01:15:22.134
[SPEAKER_01]: Your circumstances.

01:15:22.174 --> 01:15:25.815
[SPEAKER_01]: You think they're the problem then and God is using your circumstances to sanctify you.

01:15:26.855 --> 01:15:31.298
[SPEAKER_01]: We want you to see the world rightly so you don't get stuck in these next episode.

01:15:31.318 --> 01:15:35.841
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to move towards the first of three sends that are engagement with the world.

01:15:35.941 --> 01:15:36.441
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

01:15:36.521 --> 01:15:37.882
[SPEAKER_01]: So they're a little bit more outward.

01:15:37.942 --> 01:15:40.183
[SPEAKER_01]: They're the kind of things that you typically think of.

01:15:40.203 --> 01:15:40.804
[SPEAKER_01]: You just once.

01:15:40.824 --> 01:15:41.404
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, they're lost.

01:15:41.424 --> 01:15:43.125
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to lost in the next one.

01:15:43.505 --> 01:15:47.368
[SPEAKER_01]: Then we're going to go to gluttony and greed and we'll come to the queen of sends pride at the end.

01:15:47.428 --> 01:15:49.509
[SPEAKER_01]: But take your sends seriously.

01:15:49.789 --> 01:15:51.630
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, listen or take this in seriously.

01:15:52.331 --> 01:15:53.311
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't father alone.

01:15:53.371 --> 01:15:57.694
[SPEAKER_01]: You need to take it seriously because that is how you're going to take the grace of God seriously.

01:15:57.754 --> 01:15:59.395
[SPEAKER_01]: So go and peace.

01:15:59.675 --> 01:16:01.936
[SPEAKER_01]: We will talk to you next week on lusts.

01:16:02.637 --> 01:16:04.718
[SPEAKER_00]: I just have one question for you, Justin, as we leave.

01:16:04.998 --> 01:16:09.821
[SPEAKER_00]: Is your is your life online is good as it seems?

01:16:11.102 --> 01:16:11.642
[SPEAKER_00]: QCense.

01:16:12.203 --> 01:16:12.423
[SPEAKER_00]: QCense.

01:16:12.443 --> 01:16:12.623
[SPEAKER_00]: QCense.

01:16:13.043 --> 01:16:13.223
[SPEAKER_00]: QCense.

01:16:13.323 --> 01:16:16.806
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just, I'm just, I'm just going to have to do and rage banning you right now.

01:16:16.926 --> 01:16:18.086
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just asking your question.

01:16:18.147 --> 01:16:18.907
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to ask you a question.

01:16:18.967 --> 01:16:22.909
[SPEAKER_01]: And by the way, on the next episode, whatever we do, I'm going to win the contest so I get to introduce.

01:16:23.530 --> 01:16:24.330
[SPEAKER_01]: How are you going to do it?

01:16:24.430 --> 01:16:26.392
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll figure it out on a regular piece out of the right.

01:16:26.432 --> 01:16:26.612
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.