[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the podcast!
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey guys, today we're really excited to be talking to you about how hard it is to teach your kids how to make good decisions.
[SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever been in that moment where they ask you a question and you're not by sure how to give them wise counsel or you just hope that they would, you know, do more things for the Lord and be courageous versus hitting those easier softer landing pads of decisions and just how do we communicate about that and how do we make good decisions?
[SPEAKER_00]: If we're in God's will or we're just being pressured and we don't even realize it by peers or circumstances and things like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you're in a season where you're making some really big decisions yourself.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you are, then today's podcast is just going to be so encouraging to you.
[SPEAKER_01]: We go over a few different scriptures, give you some practical advice as to how to discern what God's will is because his Bible actually gives us really clear scripture.
[SPEAKER_01]: that encourages us to test what his will is and how to test what his will is.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, we're excited to share today, hope it's super encouraging.
[SPEAKER_01]: We also want to encourage you guys to check out our new book, courageous parenting.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's actually two or three chapters that we reference in today's episode alone that go along with today's episode, but is fire.
[SPEAKER_01]: In fact, you may have to listen to the episode a couple times.
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[SPEAKER_01]: One of the biggest struggles that parents are facing today is that in a dated influences that are just constantly invading really their influence with their children and discipleships.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to be talking about that today, but one of the other really big topics that Isaac and I have been contemplating just discussing lately is this concept of trying to discern what God's will is.
[SPEAKER_01]: As adults, as Christians, you may be in a place of trying to figure out some big decisions in your life, whether you're going to accept a job or maybe you're a young adult and you're wondering if you're going to marry the right person or maybe you're counseling your child, your young adult child in that decision.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, this actually starts out when your kids are younger.
[SPEAKER_01]: We were just talking about how important it is to teach your kids how to make big decisions and be able to
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely, because, you know, God is sovereign, but He's given us free will to make decisions.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it is so evident that by our decisions, a path is forming, a life path is forming.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we really want to make sure our children are educated and making really good, biblically based decisions and following after God and his will for their lives, even in the smaller things.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if they don't know that, it's very easy without even realizing it to get swayed by peers,
[SPEAKER_00]: to get swayed by other people, which may not be good things, but may not be not best things.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe the best thing is something counterintuitive.
[SPEAKER_00]: If the only God would prompt somebody to do, but if they're not listening and understanding how to hear from the Lord in that way, then they might just go for the lesser decision.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, one of the things that we've talked a lot about, we talk about this in the courageous parenting book that just launched about two months ago, almost two months in one of my favorite chapters is on cultivating an unwavering identity in Christ in your children.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that this concept
[SPEAKER_01]: all of the different practical aspects that we talk about in the courageous parenting book, also play a huge role in this, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Because if your children know who they are in Christ, then that is a reflection of having had a relationship with Jesus himself.
[SPEAKER_01]: it goes beyond just I believe in God.
[SPEAKER_01]: I believe that there is a God and it goes more towards that I know who God is.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have a relationship with God.
[SPEAKER_01]: And when your kids are raised in a way where you're inviting them into their own personal relationship with God and their faith does go from being mom and dad's faith to their own personal faith, then of course there's going to be
[SPEAKER_01]: to take on that relationship, especially if you're good at communicating with them like, hey, you know how I have a relationship with you, that relationship, if I, if I ignored you, if I didn't pursue you, if I didn't invest time in you, we never talked, our relationship would be very different, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's the same thing with God.
[SPEAKER_01]: You need to spend time with him to build a relationship with him.
[SPEAKER_01]: So now fast forward and your kids are trying to make some kind of decision in their life, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it's even as simple as like, should I, what friends should I choose?
[SPEAKER_01]: And seeking God for wise canceling what his will is for their life.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it's trying to decide what sports they're going to play.
[SPEAKER_01]: I remember as a young girl, I loved all kinds of things.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I remember my parents saying, well, Angie, you can't do everything you have to make a decision.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to choose.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know you love music, I know you love instruments, I know you love sports.
[SPEAKER_01]: But you can't do absolutely everything.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're going to have to choose between soccer and volleyball.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're going to have to choose between swimming and this and that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so like there are so many opportunities that we have as parents, where we're raising up our kids to be good decision makers, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: And there are all these opportunities you may be thinking, you know, you're bringing up what sports they choose.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not really like an eternal decision or that's not going to impact their eternity.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, that may not be, but at the same time when your kids are smaller, they're practicing this muscle of making good decisions or making the wisest decision or
[SPEAKER_01]: Trying to even even practicing what it looks like to seek wise counsel, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Which is another thing that we know is God's will for us actually, but you know what is really really hard I think that for me being a people pleaser most of my life I struggled with wanting to please other people so much that when they had a will for my life I would just want to do that to please them
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes you, there might be a authority figure or somebody you look up to or somebody older than you with wisdom and that could really sway you and sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes it really is not a good thing because God might have a better path for you or better will and it's important that your children really learn how to consider making decisions.
[SPEAKER_00]: And in real decisions, a lot of here's another challenge that happens is a lot of people don't make a decision and then circumstances make a decision for them.
[SPEAKER_00]: So they're so delayed and being decisive and they're lacking assertiveness in their decision making, that
[SPEAKER_00]: Pretty soon, situations change, circumstances change, and they just, it seems just obvious I need to go do this.
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you would have made a proactive decision earlier, maybe when the Lord was actually prompting to you, when you started thinking about it, you could have made a better decision not based on the pressure of circumstances.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's interesting.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that one of the conversations I've had, especially of the last like two years.
[SPEAKER_01]: I would say even the last two or three years, that concept that there's the we are battling our own will, then there's God's will, and then there's other people, and they also have a will for your life.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that it's important that as parents, we teach our kids this, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Because sometimes kids will be influenced by other friends, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: To go to even just going to something, like going to a movie that maybe they know isn't good for them to watch or going over to their house, where they're going to be watching a movie.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm choosing this as an example.
[SPEAKER_01]: and those other friends, they may not have ill intentions, but they their will is that they would be hanging out with their friend and doing what they want to do.
[SPEAKER_01]: But your children need to understand that they actually have a choice in all of these things and that if they're going to allow that friend to influence them, then they need to have a like-mindedness.
[SPEAKER_01]: Does this person believe the same things I believe?
[SPEAKER_01]: Does this person essentially really want to be living within God's will for their own life?
[SPEAKER_01]: Because if they're not living within God's will for their own life, then they're likely not going to lead me towards God's will for my life.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's something to evaluate in spiritual maturity night.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that like for me as a mom, one of the things that I've always worn myself in.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And this might be a good thing for someone to hear is that I'm not the Holy Spirit.
[SPEAKER_01]: I may have the Holy Spirit in me and I need to seek the Lord and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to me how I should be influencing my children, how I should like if they come to me for wise counsel.
[SPEAKER_01]: One of the first things that I tried to do is I just pray in my head, Lord, would you speak through me?
[SPEAKER_01]: because it's easy for a mom or a dad to like want to immediately protect your child, or to immediately have an answer in your head of what your will would be for your child.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that may or may not be God's will actually.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so a humble parent, a courageous parent, I truly believe this, is willing to recognize that we still wrestle with our own flesh and wanting to protect our kids or maybe making decisions out of fear because of the realities of the world.
[SPEAKER_01]: just all those things and so someone who is like honest and aware that they are human and they're willing to say, yeah, I could be wrong sometimes.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's gonna say a prayer, God would you please give me wisdom so that I give them the right answer or would you help bridle my tongue so that I don't just create fear where fear is not what you want.
[SPEAKER_01]: right and I think that that practice alone what I just modeled for you is something that we actually needed to teach our children to do also because in their own decision making they're going to wrestle with their flesh they may make decisions out of fear.
[SPEAKER_01]: or they may make decisions out of what is safe or risk adverse if their personality leans that way, or they may make decisions the total opposite direction if their personality leans that way, that would be their flesh, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: And so instead teaching your children like listen, our lives are not about us,
[SPEAKER_01]: When you, and that's something that you teach them when you teach them to have an unwavering identity in Christ, and when they realize that their life isn't about them, and they realize that the decisions that they make are also something that needs to be surrendered to the Lord, and that it's truly about seeking like, God, what plan do you have for my life?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, it's so important because as a human, even if you're wise, you know, even if you're experienced, even if you're knowledgeable about things.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, you have a lot of fruit.
[SPEAKER_00]: Even if even with all those things, a lot of times humans will think of A or B, especially if it's a tough situation.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, well, it seems like I either need to do this or I either need to do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And my experience is, when you include God, when you're surrendered to the Lord, neither this nor that is the path and there's a third way.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that third way can only be revealed through that surrender to the Lord, through prayer, maybe fasting, reading scripture.
[SPEAKER_00]: One thing that helps me, and I know there's different personalities, but I think this is huge.
[SPEAKER_00]: Whenever I have to make a really big decision, one of the elements I will do is get my journal out.
[SPEAKER_00]: and I'll spend a long time with God in prayer, and then I'll start journaling the different scenarios, the different options, and I'll ask God to reveal to me a third way, or a better way, or maybe it's a nuance of one or the other.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I
[SPEAKER_00]: If I spend enough time with the Lord, and I'm alone, and I'm journaling, that third way usually comes about, and it's sometimes scary, actually, because that third way looks counter-intuitive.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not normal.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not the way probably people around you would see the best path.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I have experienced when I am confident in the Lord is telling me something I've gone to that process, then it doesn't matter what other people think around me and I've seen so much fruit come from that strange decision, the same strange in the moment.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think that's a really important thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: In what's cool is I was just looking at actually my church planting journal.
[SPEAKER_00]: This weekend and it's so cool to look back and even like what should the church's name be?
[SPEAKER_00]: What should the URL be?
[SPEAKER_00]: What is the culture driving three words?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, what's the vision?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, what are the action lists?
[SPEAKER_00]: What are these things?
[SPEAKER_00]: When you're doing something big like that, there's tons of decisions to make.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just look in the room like that's all the Lord.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the Lord being surrendered to the Lord, listening to Lord writing things out, iterating, even the logo.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can see logo iterations and things like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's just like, wow, look what's happening.
[SPEAKER_01]: The Lord leads it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's, but it's interesting because you took time to just be still and be quiet and wait on the Lord to reveal those things and you were willing to just be.
[SPEAKER_01]: With the Lord, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: And so you give it to him and you have to be willing to be.
[SPEAKER_01]: and be abide and be quiet and be still and I think that that's something that's super hard but especially for young people.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think some personally struggle with it more than others.
[SPEAKER_01]: I for sure struggle with being still sometimes I get disciplined by the Lord because he's like Angie have something for you to do so I'm going to allow you to experience something it's going to make you sit down for a while.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've experienced that many times in my life and God is so faithful because he always redeems that time by making some amazing truth be revealed to me, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Just through his word as I'm seeking the Lord and and it's in those times when we walk through the hard things that we really do experience God being loud.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you will, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like his word just becomes so relevant in every
[SPEAKER_01]: When I was a teenager, I remember reading Proverbs and Psalms about enemies and going, oh, I'm never going to have an enemy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, if I just act like Jesus did, what would Jesus do?
[SPEAKER_01]: People will love me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Jesus was loving.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was kind of naive to that concept of enemies, and it talked about like, you will be persecuted and I was like, what for?
[SPEAKER_01]: If I'm loving, and I'm giving, and I'm generous, would there be to be mad at, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, obviously, now that I'm older and have been walking in the way and trying to live my life for Christ,
[SPEAKER_01]: you do receive persecution.
[SPEAKER_01]: In fact, I would be willing to say if you are not receiving persecution, then you're probably not a threat to Satan.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's not wasting his time on you.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not doing anything that's so super kingdom-minded that he even needs to try.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, he's already got you complacent and stagnant and you're not doing anything for the kingdom, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: It's when you're doing something for the kingdom that you're going to start to receive that
[SPEAKER_01]: And so with your kids, though, this is the thing that's so important is that we want to be teaching them the importance of living out their purpose in life, which is part of the conversation of teaching them their identity in Christ.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we talk a lot about that in the courageous parenting book.
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[SPEAKER_01]: because we have three older kids that have all launched from our home.
[SPEAKER_01]: We have four that are teenagers and young adults in our home.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then we have, we have, well, actually three that are young adults and teenagers.
[SPEAKER_01]: 16, almost 16, 18, and almost 20.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then we have our three younger kids, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: And realizing that this concept of decision-making is very closely connected to what you believe your purpose and life is, actually.
[SPEAKER_01]: but it's also very closely connected to who you allowed influence you, who is really discipling your kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes it's media.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes it's friends.
[SPEAKER_01]: And if it's friends, then it means it's also media because the friends are influenced by the media, most likely.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then you think about all of the other potential influences.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's teachers, there's tutors, there's people at church, youth pastor, different.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, some of those influences may be good and in alignment with what you are trying to raise your kid in, but some of them may be aren't, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, teaching your kids like these are the influences and their opinions they matter to you, don't they, honey?
[SPEAKER_01]: Just having that conversation with your kids and going to doesn't matter what the youth master says, like, do you respect him?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I respect him.
[SPEAKER_01]: Does it matter to you?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I I really don't want him to be disappointed to me if I don't go on the youth retreat or like you when you ask these kinds of questions of your kids, you start to realize just how much influence different people have in your kids' lives and then that plays out in the decisions that they make.
[SPEAKER_00]: and then too many parents follow along and make adjustments to adapt and even change their positions on things towards what the kids desires are as they get older and that's a really shifty foundation and that's a dangerous thing and you know be suspicious.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's a really important tip for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Be really suspicious of easy decisions.
[SPEAKER_00]: like comfort decisions, usually in the moment of decision there's an easier path and there's a harder path and it just so happens that maximum fruitfulness usually goes with the harder path when making a decision.
[SPEAKER_00]: So really be suspicious when your children are just picking the path of least resistance, picking the comfortable path, picking choosing things they're
[SPEAKER_00]: be really suspicious that you need to challenge your children.
[SPEAKER_00]: Go, okay, let's talk it out.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you have this possible path.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why do you like that path?
[SPEAKER_00]: Or why do you like that choice?
[SPEAKER_00]: And they'll explain it to you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Go, what's another choice?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, what would the other option be?
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and what's another option?
[SPEAKER_00]: A third option of that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And have you prayed about it?
[SPEAKER_00]: And let's think about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, are you choosing this one just because you're more comfortable in this easier?
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe God wants you to grow and choose this one.
[SPEAKER_00]: You need to...
[SPEAKER_00]: cultivate resilient strong children these unprecedented times.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're not going to do that if you just go along with your children's easy choices that are comfortable.
[SPEAKER_01]: Or I also think that when it comes to people making the right decisions on the big decisions in life, like there's going to come a day where your kids are going to be deciding on if they go to college or not, or if they are going to get married, who they're going to get married to, what job to take, what church to go to,
[SPEAKER_01]: these are all decisions that you have likely been making yourself right now or have made in the last 10 years and you know that those decisions are really weighty decisions that do set a trajectory for your life, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: And the reality is, as some people, they really struggle on the way for other like a wave tossed by the sea.
[SPEAKER_01]: if they're following the crowd or if they're following other people leading their will for their life versus what God's will is, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: So how can a person become confident in following God's will for their life?
[SPEAKER_01]: Well first of all, more than anything I just have to say, like our number one point on this would be, what are you modeling for your kids?
[SPEAKER_01]: If you want your kids to make wise biblical decisions and be walking in God's will, that is something that you should be modeling for them, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: And there's this element of like, we can't expect our kids to do things that we ourselves aren't doing, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I just even think about like, what are the spiritual disciplines that I have been trying to have in my life and be regular at that you could call them spiritual habits, whether that's praying, worshiping,
[SPEAKER_01]: thinking, um, fasting, seeking God, being still, these different concepts of abiding and adoring the Lord.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, if my kids are watching and they're seeing that, then they know if they come to me and they ask for wise counsel, which is another thing I hope my kids see in me is that I'm the type of person that would go and get wise counsel and big decisions because the Bible is very clear that we should do that, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, otherwise our lives could
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like, okay, if I am not going to other people for wise counsel, then why are we upset that our kids are not coming to us?
[SPEAKER_01]: If they never sought modeled, go get wise counsel, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: So there's this element of like, yes, you want to teach your kids to pray and seek the Lord, to fast, to be in the Word, to have other people praying for them and to seek wise counsel.
[SPEAKER_01]: But saying that to your kids and then not living it is like a huge missed opportunity, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, tell it, maybe you could dive into the fasting option and why is that so important?
[SPEAKER_00]: Why is that a biblical thing?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And why is it important in decision making?
[SPEAKER_00]: I know it's been helped me tremendously, but I think that you brought it up so I want to be sure about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm glad that you brought it up.
[SPEAKER_01]: I would actually just have you flip to Matthew.
[SPEAKER_01]: I believe this chapter six, where God is, Jesus is so good, you guys, he gives us so much clarity in this scripture, Jesus tells us how we should pray, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: So we know that when people ask a question, what does God's will for us as Christians?
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, there are some obvious things based upon the word of God that we can say, well, it's God's will,
[SPEAKER_01]: that we would know him and make him known, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: It's God's will that we would be seeking him.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's God's will that we would be restored to him that we would believe on Jesus Christ and be saved.
[SPEAKER_01]: That is God's will.
[SPEAKER_01]: He wants that for all of his creation, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: He wants to be reconciled and restored to them.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we know that that's God's will.
[SPEAKER_01]: But when Jesus gives us directions and things like prayer and fasting, which he does in Matthew chapter 6, and it starts in verse 5, actually, Jesus says, and when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites.
[SPEAKER_01]: We've gone over the scripture in other podcasts.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think we even dive into the scripture in depth in the courageous parenting book on cultivating a culture of prayer within your home.
[SPEAKER_01]: which it's such a good chapter and there's like courageous parenting challenges and more scripture.
[SPEAKER_01]: But in here Jesus gives us a very clear example of how to pray.
[SPEAKER_01]: He doesn't just say pray and then let it you figure it out on your own.
[SPEAKER_01]: He gives you a template.
[SPEAKER_01]: He says, pray like this.
[SPEAKER_01]: Our Father and Heaven, how it would be your name.
[SPEAKER_01]: Your kingdom come.
[SPEAKER_01]: Your will be done.
[SPEAKER_01]: So right here we see Jesus.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's praying to God and He's even submitting His will to God the Father.
[SPEAKER_01]: So when we look at this scripture, we see that we know Jesus is saying, this is my will for people who would follow me is that they would pray to God this way.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we know that that's one thing that's God's will.
[SPEAKER_01]: Another is about forgiveness, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: We know God's will that we forgive other people.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's even part of the prayer.
[SPEAKER_01]: Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right?
[SPEAKER_01]: There's another aspect you just popped down to verse 16, which is the scripture on fastening that says, and when you fast.
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't say if you fast, it says when you fast.
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't look gloomy like the hypocrites and then it just continues on.
[SPEAKER_01]: I would encourage you to start looking up scriptures where people have fasted.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a popular, um, the Daniel fast, which is like a 21 day fast.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know a lot of churches will do this together.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, people will
[SPEAKER_01]: praying and seeking the Lord for certain things.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that there's a lot of really good examples of fasting and scripture, but I do think that when it comes to kids and teaching them and modeling for them, fasting, you need to teach them the healthy way to do it because our bodies, you know, obviously need to be hydrated and different things like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so whenever I'm talking to somebody about practicing fasting, I just encourage them to start out
[SPEAKER_01]: electrolytes.
[SPEAKER_01]: But here's the deal.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like recently in the last year I've been challenged by some sisters in Christ in our in our church who have been able to fast with me and teach me so much about fasting to where it's become more of a regular part of our, we would say it's a spiritual discipline that we practice and we felt better health like health-wise because of it which I just
[SPEAKER_01]: right?
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, okay, we're obeying God's word, how shocking that he blesses our bodies physically when we obey his word, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: But we do know that God wants us to be prayerful and fasting to pray without ceasing.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's also part of his will for us.
[SPEAKER_01]: We also see in scripture like Galatians 5, that Jesus wants us to be free from bondage.
[SPEAKER_01]: He doesn't want us to take on a Yoke of slavery, and honestly, I
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that when we get consumed with other people's ideas of what we should do and we become people pleasers, that's like a yoke of slavery, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: And Jesus came to set us free from things like other people's will for our lives, versus what God's will is for our life.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I just wanted to share a real quick in the book.
[SPEAKER_00]: He mentioned an inch.
[SPEAKER_00]: Chapter 13 is equipped to discern influences, biblically.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just wanted to read this real quick.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were driving our children to church one Sunday morning and Isaac began the discussion about influence.
[SPEAKER_00]: What it was, it's power and why they have to be wise concerning who and what they allow to influence them.
[SPEAKER_00]: We told our children to discern judge who is worthy to influence them and be guarded when it comes to who they follow.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, we encourage them to judge.
[SPEAKER_00]: Many say they don't want their children to be judgmental, but what they really mean is they they don't want them to have a critical spirit and be unloving.
[SPEAKER_00]: We should want our children to judge.
[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, we should teach them how to judge and make wise decisions.
[SPEAKER_00]: And in fact, also in chapter 180,
[SPEAKER_00]: chapter.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's see here 24.
[SPEAKER_00]: Discipled for wise decision-making.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's a couple things it says is it grounded in biblical truth you when someone's talking to them.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know things they can test with.
[SPEAKER_00]: Are they walking strong with the Lord?
[SPEAKER_00]: Is there fruit in their own life?
[SPEAKER_00]: Is there fruit in their life, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Did they truly listen to understand or they just have an agenda?
[SPEAKER_00]: Is there a potential agenda beyond the wisdom they're giving and then
[SPEAKER_00]: Here are four things to help your children make wise choices.
[SPEAKER_00]: So 31 things in the courageous parenting book, but two chapters just on this.
[SPEAKER_01]: Just on this and what's interesting is we're not even talking about this concept of like the of wise decision making in that chapter.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's so much more that's in there.
[SPEAKER_01]: And this honestly would be one podcast that we would
[SPEAKER_01]: put at the end of that chapter and like go and listen more to.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think that like when we look at scripture like Galatians chapter five is a perfect example.
[SPEAKER_01]: It says for freedom, Christ has set us free, stand firm therefore and do not submit again to Yoko slavery.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's first one.
[SPEAKER_01]: Then you go down to verse 16, it says, but I say walk by the spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
[SPEAKER_01]: Skip down a little further because it's talking about the flesh and the spirit wrestling and all this stuff and being led by the spirit says, now the works of the flesh are evident and it lists a whole bunch of different sins, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: And then it comes to this, it says, I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, it's God's will that you would be abstaining from this whole list of different sins.
[SPEAKER_01]: It says sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry sorcery, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, literally just drunkenness, orgy's, and be, it just goes on and on and on.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, yep,
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so when people say, well, how do we know what God's will is?
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what the real answer is?
[SPEAKER_01]: It's all in the Bible.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like we know that it's God's will that we abstain from these things.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because these things lead to a yoke of slavery.
[SPEAKER_01]: They lead us to bondage of sin.
[SPEAKER_01]: They lead to death.
[SPEAKER_01]: God's will is that we would be free in living a life abundant and Christ, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: So then you skip down to verse 22 and we see what is the positive things that God wants, and this is the fruit of the Spirit.
[SPEAKER_01]: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it just continues on right and it's like all throughout scripture now I feel like I'm connecting these dots and I'm seeing like, oh, that's God's will and it's God's will that I've stained from those things That's God's will God's will is that I wouldn't have a better root God's will is that I would forgive God's will is this God's will is that God's will is that I would not do this right?
[SPEAKER_01]: And so when you're raising your kids like there is so much beautiful
[SPEAKER_01]: can't figure out what God's will is.
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you read the Bible, son?
[SPEAKER_01]: Honey, the Bible tells you what God's will is.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's actually more about, it's less about what you do, like what job you take, and it's about, are you living by the spirit or are you living by the flesh?
[SPEAKER_01]: What is God called you to?
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you sought him?
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you prayed?
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you fasted over this?
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you sought Wise Council?
[SPEAKER_01]: And recognizing that God goes with you wherever you go.
[SPEAKER_01]: But that he's called you to something higher.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's about your character.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's about being a light.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not even about you, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And God wants to be glorified.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so the challenge is if we're doing everything that we feel capable of, and we're making decisions based on our comfort and capability,
[SPEAKER_00]: then are we likely or your children likely to glorify God with the actions they're taking?
[SPEAKER_00]: You think about that?
[SPEAKER_00]: If I'm totally confident and totally capable and I'm only doing things that I feel confident and capable of doing,
[SPEAKER_00]: are we really going to be pointing to God and saying he did that and he used me to do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: The answer is likely not.
[SPEAKER_00]: The truth is that he is most glorified and most magnified and we're most likely to actually do that when we see God doing things through us that are outside of our own strength, outside of our confidence, outside of our capabilities.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's why it's important to your children are seeing you living that out.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's also important for you to encourage them to think about options outside of their own strength, outside of their confidence and their capability.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, you want to equip them and prepare them, but at the same time, God's going to be there to help them.
[SPEAKER_00]: If they're surrendered to the Lord.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so they need small experiences while they're in your home of doing that.
[SPEAKER_00]: you need to not coddle them over protect them when you need to protect our children but there needs to be opportunities where they struggle a little bit and they need to lean on the Lord and their relationship needs to be strong where they actually do lean on the Lord and they pray in their own time and they ask for help from the Lord and they see
[SPEAKER_00]: him come through and do things through them while they're in your home.
[SPEAKER_00]: If they don't experience those things while they're in your home, they're just making those easy choices and they're not glorifying God with their life and they're not giving him credit.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, it might be that they're choosing the safe road in their own strength and that's not something that when they launch is going to be helpful to them when they're in the world.
[SPEAKER_00]: and it's unprecedented times.
[SPEAKER_00]: The massive change is going to happen next three to five years wild, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: So you better be equipping them to be strong, to be resilient, and be willing to do things encourage versus fear because they trust the Lord.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's really, I mean, ultimately, you're trying to mount unprecedented times and the need for them to be able to discern right influences, but also just discern what God is calling them to do, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: And I or calling them to be.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I would just encourage you guys, there where we came up with like a list of five verses that were super easy for us to find even just using a basic concordance, if you look up, God's will.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right?
[SPEAKER_01]: There are so many different scriptures that we'll talk about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Here are just some examples.
[SPEAKER_01]: Romans 12 2 is a perfect example of something that we know as God's will for us.
[SPEAKER_01]: It says this is a command.
[SPEAKER_01]: Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
[SPEAKER_01]: So this indicates to us that God's will is good, acceptable, and perfect.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we know that it's those three things, so your kids could literally test every decision and go, is it good?
[SPEAKER_01]: Is it acceptable to God and is it perfect?
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, well then maybe I'm on target for hitting God's will for my life, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: But there's also this element of like, is it worldly or is it worth of the word?
[SPEAKER_01]: Is this in alignment with what I know God's word is telling me?
[SPEAKER_01]: Another scripture that's really encouraging is Ephesians 1-11.
[SPEAKER_01]: It says in him, we have obtained an inheritance having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory.
[SPEAKER_01]: Again, this is talking about the counsel of his will.
[SPEAKER_01]: that it's not about our glory, but it's about Christ's glory, recognizing that our lives aren't actually about us.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is an important part of knowing and being willing to do God's will in a harsh world that we live in.
[SPEAKER_01]: Two other scriptures are actually in first Thessalonians, one is kind of another warning.
[SPEAKER_01]: It starts out in chapter 4, verse 3, for this is the will of God, your sanctification.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we know that it is God's will that life is sanctifying.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that means that the easy road is not always God's will.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sanctifying hard times can breed so much good spiritual maturity and fruit.
[SPEAKER_01]: Growth happens in the valley, not on the mountaintop.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so like recognizing that something that is hard is, that's an important lesson for you to teach your kids, to encourage your kids with is just because it's hard, doesn't mean that it's the wrong decision, honey.
[SPEAKER_01]: God might have something really big to teach you.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's biblical wise counsel, actually, because we know from this, it says, for this is the will of God, your sanctification.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then it tells them also what they need to abstain from.
[SPEAKER_01]: Then if you just go one more,
[SPEAKER_01]: chapter beyond that in chapter five verse 16 it says rejoice always pray without ceasing give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: So again there's another bold for this is the will of God for this is the will of God.
[SPEAKER_01]: So whenever we're looking for like what is God's will, well what does the Bible say?
[SPEAKER_01]: Bible will actually give us better insight and a better ability to pray for God's will in our life.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that we're not just coming and going, oh, Lord, this business is willing to pay me $20,000 more year, but it's so far away from my family, my church community and all these things.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I sure would like that money, Lord.
[SPEAKER_01]: Instead of seeing it as like a choice that you have to make, it's like,
[SPEAKER_01]: do something big and provide a different opportunity where you are potentially, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, it doesn't always have to look like two options.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes there's a third option, but that requires surrender.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I'm glad you brought that up right at the end here because a lot of men struggle with that concept of like I've been offered this over here, but my priority is to be spend more time with my family.
[SPEAKER_00]: But hey, if I may be saved that money, then later I can have more time with my family, a sacrifice, what I've seen often, is that sacrifice tends to not be temporary, it tends to become more permanent.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you have to be really careful of that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I love what you said because what is the third option
[SPEAKER_00]: The third option is Lord would you help me navigate this and maybe help me break out of my comfort zone to see an opportunity that I'm not seeing right now That is outside of even this industry or is outside of even my skill set that is is paying the bills right now to where there's more fruitfulness down the road and even more time with my family.
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that possible?
[SPEAKER_00]: It might seem impossible.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm telling you, I have experienced it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've experienced shifting gears many times outside of my skill set and having to learn new things And it's so good for the mind.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so good for the family and sometimes we need to find that third option But it's only gonna be breaking our comfort zone and relying on the Lord and listening to the spirit So, well, those are great scriptures and thanks for joining the podcast