WEBVTT 00:02.433 --> 00:03.481 [SPEAKER_00]: Christian parenting. 00:05.574 --> 00:09.315 [SPEAKER_00]: Hello there and thank you for joining me for today's episode. 00:09.375 --> 00:11.196 [SPEAKER_00]: We are going to do a Q&A. 00:11.876 --> 00:12.777 [SPEAKER_00]: I do have an announcement. 00:12.797 --> 00:17.318 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to give in just a moment, but I also just want to start off here and apologize. 00:17.538 --> 00:20.039 [SPEAKER_00]: I have been a little backed up with these Q&As. 00:20.399 --> 00:25.961 [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't done one in a while and I know at the last one I said send me your questions and then I just drop the ball. 00:26.181 --> 00:28.262 [SPEAKER_00]: So I sincerely apologize. 00:28.882 --> 00:32.303 [SPEAKER_00]: Today we're going to catch up and this is going to be a little bit of a rapid fire. 00:34.584 --> 00:38.630 [SPEAKER_00]: Shoot it right out to who knows what I'm going to say, but I just have the topics. 00:38.670 --> 00:40.212 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to read the entire questions. 00:40.272 --> 00:45.399 [SPEAKER_00]: I just have it narrow down to one question, one sentence, and then I'm just going to give you my thoughts. 00:46.140 --> 00:49.024 [SPEAKER_00]: Knowing that, please remember, there is a lot of 00:50.187 --> 00:52.068 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I don't know your exact situations. 00:52.228 --> 00:55.088 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just going to riff off the top of my head. 00:55.449 --> 00:58.029 [SPEAKER_00]: We could get in deeper if you wanted to join the mentorship. 00:58.069 --> 00:59.410 [SPEAKER_00]: You and I can do that one on one. 00:59.430 --> 01:00.570 [SPEAKER_00]: There's a link in the show notes. 01:01.110 --> 01:07.332 [SPEAKER_00]: But this is just going to blanket statements to these topics, knowing that there's a lot more details that I don't have. 01:07.492 --> 01:09.633 [SPEAKER_00]: And you and I could get into one on one if we needed to. 01:10.093 --> 01:10.954 [SPEAKER_00]: but let's get into this. 01:10.974 --> 01:26.049 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to answer some of these questions and I really hope that they are helpful to those that have asked it but also for you that are just listening because maybe you are encountering this situation right now or maybe you will in the future and you will remember some of the information I'm sharing and then just go from that. 01:26.550 --> 01:28.492 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, I don't have, I'm not the end all be all. 01:28.512 --> 01:30.734 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just going to give you my initial thoughts on each of these. 01:30.894 --> 01:31.755 [SPEAKER_00]: So let's do it now. 01:33.016 --> 01:35.139 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Little By Little Home School Podcast. 01:35.339 --> 01:36.800 [SPEAKER_00]: I am your host, Lee Nguyen. 01:37.121 --> 01:41.305 [SPEAKER_00]: I mentioned just a moment ago that I have an announcement and I'm going to tell you that right now. 01:42.366 --> 01:47.271 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to be honest and upfront and tell you that I just need a little bit of margin in my life right now. 01:47.732 --> 01:53.939 [SPEAKER_00]: With the conference in the last two weeks of planning that I am in right now, there is a lot going on. 01:54.459 --> 01:57.822 [SPEAKER_00]: I also just have a lot in my life and family, you know, real-life kind of stuff. 01:58.022 --> 02:04.208 [SPEAKER_00]: My garden is overflowing with produce and I need to process a lot of that and I just need a little bit of time to breathe. 02:04.949 --> 02:08.592 [SPEAKER_00]: So what I'm going to do is I'm going to scale back podcast episodes. 02:08.753 --> 02:12.776 [SPEAKER_00]: I know I'm sorry if you're sad before the foreseeable future. 02:13.257 --> 02:17.121 [SPEAKER_00]: On Monday mornings I will release a brand new episode but listen, this is episode 484. 02:18.802 --> 02:22.867 [SPEAKER_00]: I think probably most any topic a question you have has a ready thing covered. 02:22.887 --> 02:31.097 [SPEAKER_00]: So go back through and I'm sure you can find some of those answers, but thank you for your patience and your understanding, but let's now get into today's episode. 02:32.399 --> 02:40.764 [SPEAKER_00]: Earlier, I mentioned that I'm going to condense these questions to just one little topic, or one phrase, and then I'm just going to go off that. 02:40.824 --> 02:42.925 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just for the sake of some time. 02:43.085 --> 02:44.766 [SPEAKER_00]: Remember that garden, remember that conference planning? 02:44.866 --> 02:45.626 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll get back to it. 02:46.127 --> 02:52.370 [SPEAKER_00]: The first one is a mom looking for some encouragement on how to encourage 02:52.756 --> 02:54.798 [SPEAKER_00]: positive, sibling relationships. 02:54.918 --> 03:04.609 [SPEAKER_00]: This past summer, I randomly did a real, just it was not the, I don't even think I spent much time on it, but it was just some things that were non-negotiables for my family. 03:05.089 --> 03:10.735 [SPEAKER_00]: And the very last one, I put, I don't even remember how many there were, maybe eight of them or so, whatever could fit on the screen. 03:11.356 --> 03:15.300 [SPEAKER_00]: And this is over on Instagram, which then automatically puts it over on Facebook. 03:15.840 --> 03:25.248 [SPEAKER_00]: And it ended up going for me pretty viral, I mean, it's a way over half a million on both of views and lots of comments. 03:25.288 --> 03:27.570 [SPEAKER_00]: More comments on Facebook than on Instagram. 03:27.590 --> 03:31.233 [SPEAKER_00]: People seem to have a little more grace and understanding when it comes on Instagram. 03:31.253 --> 03:32.894 [SPEAKER_00]: Facebook, people have like, there's no filter. 03:33.354 --> 03:34.715 [SPEAKER_00]: But I just, I kind of let it go. 03:35.156 --> 03:37.197 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't even necessarily read all the comments. 03:37.317 --> 03:39.699 [SPEAKER_00]: I would kind of skim through if there was anything that was like too crazy. 03:39.799 --> 03:40.980 [SPEAKER_00]: I would delete and block that person. 03:41.801 --> 03:55.025 [SPEAKER_00]: But the last thing I said on it was something about encouraging, or I don't want to say insisting, I forget the exact wording, but saying that their sibling relationships are more important than friends. 03:55.485 --> 03:57.065 [SPEAKER_00]: Now does that mean the friends aren't important? 03:57.185 --> 03:59.046 [SPEAKER_00]: No, people took that craziness. 03:59.086 --> 04:00.546 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, no, that's not what I'm saying. 04:01.006 --> 04:05.167 [SPEAKER_00]: And somebody commented saying, listen, I don't know why you guys are getting all upset about this lady. 04:05.187 --> 04:06.448 [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, yeah, thank you. 04:07.228 --> 04:19.395 [SPEAKER_00]: And she said, she's not saying they can't have friends, but I just know she this lady was saying from my own like my parents encouraged this from a young age, and I assume that this woman, meaning me, is encouraging that as well. 04:19.936 --> 04:27.300 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you want to encourage positive sibling relationships, you need to do it as soon as possible when they are young and of course it's never too late to start. 04:27.863 --> 04:34.688 [SPEAKER_00]: But just think about when you have a couple of young children and you're probably home a lot because it's just a lot of work to get out and about. 04:35.188 --> 04:38.850 [SPEAKER_00]: Therefore, they just automatically have playmates right there. 04:39.331 --> 04:48.017 [SPEAKER_00]: But what happens is when school starts and whether you can even be home schooling, but most people percentage wise in our country, 04:48.677 --> 04:50.157 [SPEAKER_00]: send their kids to public or private school. 04:50.558 --> 04:56.039 [SPEAKER_00]: Therefore, friends become really important to them and then those sibling relationships take a back seat. 04:56.499 --> 04:57.380 [SPEAKER_00]: But you're home schooling. 04:57.400 --> 05:01.121 [SPEAKER_00]: So therefore, you get to continue to encourage those. 05:01.141 --> 05:08.223 [SPEAKER_00]: I honestly, like I was like a hawk and I was always kind of listening in and paying attention to how they treated each other. 05:09.517 --> 05:12.880 [SPEAKER_00]: I won't get into it, but my brothers and I, we did not treat each other very well. 05:13.121 --> 05:16.424 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, yes, they was fine in the very beginning, but then we went off to school. 05:16.884 --> 05:23.511 [SPEAKER_00]: And our friends were better friends to us, and I just remember how I felt with that. 05:23.691 --> 05:26.554 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, I do not want that. 05:26.614 --> 05:29.677 [SPEAKER_00]: And my parents were not aware of some of the things that were going on behind the scene. 05:30.057 --> 05:36.060 [SPEAKER_00]: They weren't there when we were picking on each other and making fun of each other and telling each others secrets on the school bus. 05:36.120 --> 05:37.601 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, how terrible is that? 05:37.621 --> 05:42.804 [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, I want my kids to understand how important their siblings are. 05:43.084 --> 05:46.106 [SPEAKER_00]: So I was always watching and listening and paying attention. 05:46.546 --> 05:53.791 [SPEAKER_00]: and I would intervene, so there is a fine line between them working things out and then having to intervene. 05:54.131 --> 06:07.801 [SPEAKER_00]: But then there's also that point where maybe they work it out, but then you talk to them together afterwards when the dust is settled, later on that day, or maybe individually, but is just a putting a priority on the time that you spend together. 06:08.401 --> 06:11.483 [SPEAKER_00]: And just not letting the little things go. 06:11.883 --> 06:14.865 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't allow my kids to be mean to each other. 06:15.305 --> 06:17.006 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't allow them to say negative things. 06:17.086 --> 06:19.767 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't allow them to not include them. 06:19.907 --> 06:22.929 [SPEAKER_00]: And yes, I remember, even though I said I didn't read the comments, I read a couple of them. 06:23.229 --> 06:25.070 [SPEAKER_00]: And they were like, oh, you're just so strict. 06:25.110 --> 06:26.511 [SPEAKER_00]: How, somebody was like, some man. 06:26.631 --> 06:27.351 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, OK, great. 06:27.451 --> 06:28.912 [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for trying to insult a woman. 06:29.252 --> 06:34.735 [SPEAKER_00]: How or well-in with your, I don't know, probably dictatorship or whatever he said. 06:34.795 --> 06:37.377 [SPEAKER_00]: But I really don't care what a stranger says on the internet. 06:38.097 --> 07:03.095 [SPEAKER_00]: So I think that just having that as a priority and just working at it, not letting it go, not letting the little things, the little words and the little tips and stuff, not letting those slide, that you probably have seen it and we employed this many years ago, like you're not getting along, guess what you can hug it out and they would have to hug it out for a while and they still talk about how they, I would make them sit down across each other and talk out whatever the problem was. 07:03.735 --> 07:08.417 [SPEAKER_00]: And they were always included in things like my daughter, her brothers have been invited to birthday parties. 07:08.917 --> 07:10.778 [SPEAKER_00]: And she invited to their birthday parties. 07:10.798 --> 07:15.520 [SPEAKER_00]: Now I did get a little weird you know, as they got older to teens, they were just kind of like, nah, but we did our own family stuff. 07:15.820 --> 07:19.981 [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's just is really being intentional about it is what it comes down to. 07:20.061 --> 07:21.842 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, I can talk about all this effort a long time. 07:22.022 --> 07:23.283 [SPEAKER_00]: I got to cut that one short here. 07:23.763 --> 07:28.245 [SPEAKER_00]: The next question, basically she's asking how to become a more structured person. 07:29.285 --> 07:36.509 [SPEAKER_00]: Now to be honest, I think that our personalities can lean us towards being structured or not so structured. 07:37.049 --> 07:39.090 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think there's pros and cons to both of those. 07:39.571 --> 07:52.898 [SPEAKER_00]: If you are a very structured person, very rigid, and this is how we do things, that that's not always a positive because relationships and in our family and homeschool, things aren't always going to go smoothly. 07:53.518 --> 07:58.722 [SPEAKER_00]: I have had friends who says, well, we always do this on Monday or we always do this every third week of the month. 07:59.003 --> 08:02.826 [SPEAKER_00]: We always or I always, and so that's a very structured person. 08:03.366 --> 08:09.932 [SPEAKER_00]: If there is no wiggle room, if there's no give in that, then it can be hard. 08:10.212 --> 08:12.454 [SPEAKER_00]: It can be hard to be in relationship with that person. 08:12.514 --> 08:17.198 [SPEAKER_00]: So, I want you if you're wanting to be more structured, you don't need to go to an extreme. 08:18.818 --> 08:20.499 [SPEAKER_00]: I am somewhere in the middle. 08:20.879 --> 08:24.922 [SPEAKER_00]: I think I used to be somebody who would lean towards way more structured. 08:25.362 --> 08:32.747 [SPEAKER_00]: But listen, homes going and having kids and now that they're older, I have some structure to myself and my day. 08:33.167 --> 08:35.489 [SPEAKER_00]: But I know that I have to let things go. 08:35.829 --> 08:44.154 [SPEAKER_00]: When I suddenly get a phone call and maybe a kid has gotten into an accident or they need this to be picked up or they need this or whatever kind of comes up with them. 08:44.374 --> 08:45.115 [SPEAKER_00]: I have to realize like, 08:45.855 --> 08:50.029 [SPEAKER_00]: And my plan needs to take a back seat because life is calling. 08:51.463 --> 08:54.926 [SPEAKER_00]: I would suggest that if you are saying, I'd like to become more structured. 08:55.346 --> 08:57.068 [SPEAKER_00]: I would say to focus on some habits. 08:57.728 --> 08:59.730 [SPEAKER_00]: What are maybe one or two habits? 09:00.090 --> 09:07.336 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you want to be more structured about, say for example, getting enough rest or getting to bed on time, that it's putting some boundaries? 09:07.396 --> 09:11.680 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's really what helps some of you come a little bit more structured as putting some boundaries. 09:12.100 --> 09:18.886 [SPEAKER_00]: I honestly, I'm gonna say this is nothing really, I don't know if I has any to do with it, but I've been really good for over six months about bed time. 09:19.366 --> 09:22.829 [SPEAKER_00]: And I am in bed like 10, 10, 15 lights are out. 09:23.269 --> 09:28.532 [SPEAKER_00]: I am working myself hard physically every single day and I am exhausted. 09:28.833 --> 09:33.176 [SPEAKER_00]: 10, 30 is like kind of a max and I'm usually mad if I get to bed that late. 09:33.776 --> 09:36.738 [SPEAKER_00]: And I am finding myself naturally waking up in the morning. 09:37.098 --> 09:41.241 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometime between 5 and 6, usually it's 5, 30 to 6 somewhere in there. 09:41.741 --> 09:48.468 [SPEAKER_00]: And I feel so much better, so much more rested because I was like, I have to create a habit. 09:48.848 --> 09:56.175 [SPEAKER_00]: Therefore, by nine o'clock, I'm telling myself, you gotta have your phone off as long as all the kids are home for the night, and no one's gonna be texting or calling me, turn my phone off. 09:56.575 --> 09:57.495 [SPEAKER_00]: get the kitchen shut down. 09:57.715 --> 10:04.197 [SPEAKER_00]: That kind of stuff is what has really helped me to become more structured about my bedtime and my getting up time. 10:04.497 --> 10:11.720 [SPEAKER_00]: So my suggestion would be to if you want to be more structured, what is a habit or two, or what is an outcome that you would like in a situation. 10:12.680 --> 10:13.861 [SPEAKER_00]: this is a homeschool podcast. 10:14.061 --> 10:15.062 [SPEAKER_00]: So let's get into homeschool. 10:15.342 --> 10:19.866 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you're saying I'd like to be a little bit more structured when it comes to homeschool so that we can accomplish. 10:19.906 --> 10:23.870 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to get these math lessons in because I want them to grow in their knowledge of math. 10:24.190 --> 10:29.154 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to get our reading time in and get their language arts and I want us to do some fun science and history. 10:29.735 --> 10:33.057 [SPEAKER_00]: What do you need to do to set yourself up for success? 10:33.958 --> 10:35.600 [SPEAKER_00]: one suggestion is the night before. 10:35.981 --> 10:37.102 [SPEAKER_00]: Get everything out that you need. 10:37.422 --> 10:39.244 [SPEAKER_00]: Have a game plan for that day. 10:39.505 --> 10:49.796 [SPEAKER_00]: I love to have a game plan for the week when it comes to home school, but then also revisiting that game plan that I came up for the week, the night before, setting things out, and then it is actually 10:50.657 --> 10:59.083 [SPEAKER_00]: I think the key then is the second part of the key would be to actually carry through with it, even if it's a little bit messy and just doing it. 10:59.163 --> 11:02.225 [SPEAKER_00]: So I hope that is helpful if you're looking to be a more structured person. 11:02.985 --> 11:08.809 [SPEAKER_00]: The next mob wanted to know, do you suggest something like year-round homeschooling or taking a summer break? 11:08.869 --> 11:13.072 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, I'm sorry I'm a little late on getting to this and hopefully that you have figured it out. 11:13.912 --> 11:17.416 [SPEAKER_00]: If you homeschool year round, it does not mean that you cannot take a summer break. 11:17.557 --> 11:19.018 [SPEAKER_00]: It might just be shorter. 11:19.158 --> 11:21.962 [SPEAKER_00]: And I do have an entire episode about year round homeschooling. 11:22.022 --> 11:23.644 [SPEAKER_00]: We did do it for a few years. 11:23.744 --> 11:27.789 [SPEAKER_00]: I wish that I had done it sooner that I had, but you know what, we have this journey. 11:28.209 --> 11:32.695 [SPEAKER_00]: And our first summer or two that we had a break, I was so used to the school system. 11:33.215 --> 11:33.656 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, 11:33.996 --> 11:35.877 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think we need three months off. 11:35.937 --> 11:37.779 [SPEAKER_00]: This is getting a little bit out of control. 11:38.439 --> 11:42.702 [SPEAKER_00]: So by year five, I think it was or so, we had moved five year five or six. 11:42.722 --> 11:45.063 [SPEAKER_00]: We moved and we didn't have anything else going on. 11:45.083 --> 11:49.706 [SPEAKER_00]: So I was like, okay, this is a good time to change our homeschool schedule. 11:49.766 --> 11:51.848 [SPEAKER_00]: And listen, you don't have to move to change your homeschool schedule. 11:51.868 --> 11:54.509 [SPEAKER_00]: You can just decide right now that that's what you're going to do. 11:54.610 --> 12:01.254 [SPEAKER_00]: And to be honest, when I look back through our homeschooling years at the different types of schedules that we have had, 12:01.754 --> 12:23.004 [SPEAKER_00]: I would say that the year-round homeschooling was the one that just gave us the most amount of life, because we would do six weeks of school, take one off, six weeks of school, take one off, and I would structure that one week off to be off during Christmas and New Year's, and maybe if the timeline of it didn't quite work out, I would maybe do a week and a half, no big deal, okay? 12:23.524 --> 12:26.126 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I would line it up to be around that time. 12:26.266 --> 12:29.008 [SPEAKER_00]: We would have to start in August then which was fine. 12:29.328 --> 12:40.836 [SPEAKER_00]: We would do shorter days in August and just do it for maybe a few hours max in the morning and then we had all afternoon to go swimming and meet up with friends or just play outside or to get the yard worked on all those things. 12:41.416 --> 12:46.819 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you are feeling like maybe that is a good choice for you, really, what does it hurt to try? 12:47.339 --> 12:52.081 [SPEAKER_00]: You might take a year or two to kind of find a rhythm maybe six weeks and one week isn't what works for you. 12:52.441 --> 12:59.064 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you need to do four weeks and then maybe take three days off or you want to do eight weeks and you want to take a week and a half or two weeks off. 12:59.504 --> 13:06.888 [SPEAKER_00]: Take a look at what time you want to have off and then kind of reverse engineer that and figure out when you need to start in the beginning of the year. 13:07.308 --> 13:19.141 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, I know that some families do year-round homeschooling and they don't necessarily have to count days or worry about that type of stuff for their homeschool regulations and they might just take only a couple of weeks off in the summer. 13:19.661 --> 13:20.422 [SPEAKER_00]: That works too. 13:20.923 --> 13:29.131 [SPEAKER_00]: Listen, this is you and your family and what I want you to do is create what is going to work for this homeschool year knowing that it can change. 13:29.952 --> 13:33.633 [SPEAKER_00]: We did that year-round homeschooling for a few years and it worked really well. 13:34.133 --> 13:41.355 [SPEAKER_00]: Then I started having kids that were getting into the high school years and they just had a lot more work than especially when they started taking online college courses. 13:41.415 --> 13:53.538 [SPEAKER_00]: I was like okay those are actually starting and we need to be into a rhythm and so we then kind of moved away from that that I had kids that were working in the summer a little bit longer and so 13:54.038 --> 14:04.944 [SPEAKER_00]: By the teen years, we had to adjust again, but if I could do it over again, the younger years I would definitely go ahead and do something more year-round knowing that you can stop doing that at any time. 14:05.204 --> 14:06.104 [SPEAKER_00]: You get to choose. 14:06.124 --> 14:06.865 [SPEAKER_00]: You get to make the rules. 14:06.965 --> 14:11.567 [SPEAKER_00]: The last situation has a couple of details, so I want to make sure that I give. 14:12.267 --> 14:15.149 [SPEAKER_00]: What it comes down to is the mom is just having a lot of 14:15.629 --> 14:20.633 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to say trouble, but she's just having a hard time right now with her 10-year-old son. 14:20.953 --> 14:31.841 [SPEAKER_00]: So he is 10 and then has two little sisters and he seems to be moving from this sweet little boy that just would do whatever a heart that just wanted to 14:33.183 --> 14:42.276 [SPEAKER_00]: just please everybody to wanting to maybe assert a little bit more of himself and also probably going through maybe maybe some hormonal changes. 14:42.316 --> 14:47.324 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like this might be a little early for boys, but it doesn't it could be. 14:47.624 --> 14:48.224 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not a doctor. 14:48.484 --> 14:49.685 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I know you guys are shocked. 14:49.945 --> 14:50.225 [SPEAKER_00]: Found it. 14:50.245 --> 14:50.725 [SPEAKER_00]: Find that out. 14:51.826 --> 15:01.711 [SPEAKER_00]: But she just is finding that his heart has changed and that she has been pouring in and teaching and training him a biblical truth and she's worried about some of the changes. 15:01.911 --> 15:04.772 [SPEAKER_00]: He's becoming obnoxious to his sisters and fighting with them. 15:05.152 --> 15:06.713 [SPEAKER_00]: He just wants to play video games. 15:06.753 --> 15:10.435 [SPEAKER_00]: He doesn't have desire or motivation to do the things that he used to enjoy. 15:11.755 --> 15:32.226 [SPEAKER_00]: First, a very first thing I would evaluate is what does he have access to, a lot of research has shown that if there is this shift in children, they might be viewing things online that is causing this and he is distancing himself. 15:33.527 --> 15:39.371 [SPEAKER_00]: I would highly suggest, I mean, you could be like he has no access to online, I mean, the video games. 15:39.731 --> 15:41.432 [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't really know if he has access to online. 15:41.452 --> 15:44.334 [SPEAKER_00]: If he has free access to online, mom, you got to cut that off. 15:44.714 --> 15:52.279 [SPEAKER_00]: If he has someone online, you need to go and you need to research, you need to make sure you have filters on things, you need to check out the history, you need to have some honest conversations with him. 15:53.439 --> 15:56.340 [SPEAKER_00]: And then also, but you might like, well, maybe it's the video games. 15:56.380 --> 16:06.503 [SPEAKER_00]: It could be the video games, are these video games that are just on, now, when my boys were young, there was a video game, controller thing, and the TV, there was no interacting with anybody else. 16:06.923 --> 16:09.884 [SPEAKER_00]: So on these video games, is he interacting with other people? 16:10.504 --> 16:11.364 [SPEAKER_00]: I would check that out. 16:12.285 --> 16:27.982 [SPEAKER_00]: And if so let's say he has so that would be my first thing to go ahead and do and then you need to take action and put in place Things to help protect him in that way and also any type of maybe recovery from things that maybe he's been viewing or seeing 16:29.043 --> 16:39.972 [SPEAKER_00]: But let's just say, for example, he has no free internet access and the video games are just completely as his TV and it's in a common area and he's not interacting with anybody else. 16:40.032 --> 16:44.256 [SPEAKER_00]: Just him playing race car games or something like that are Mario and it's just him. 16:44.316 --> 16:49.701 [SPEAKER_00]: He's not interacting with some, you know, create from across the world or just down the street or something like that. 16:50.061 --> 16:50.381 [SPEAKER_00]: Say that. 16:50.461 --> 16:51.963 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's go with that scenario right there. 16:52.743 --> 17:01.952 [SPEAKER_00]: and his attitude has changed, his heart has changed, he's become more obnoxious and more difficult, then I would say, well either way, for either of these, dad needs to step in. 17:02.372 --> 17:16.586 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, I know that during the day, it really is just us, and I know sometimes in some family's dad's travel a lot, but aside from that, when dad is home, I would put him under dad's tutelage. 17:17.346 --> 17:22.990 [SPEAKER_00]: And other words, Dad is the one that is directing him, guiding him, even at things like dinner time. 17:23.010 --> 17:27.532 [SPEAKER_00]: If he's sitting there slouching slumped over negative attitude, Dad says, hey son, sit up. 17:28.413 --> 17:29.413 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not you saying it. 17:29.794 --> 17:37.298 [SPEAKER_00]: So when Dad is around, Dad is the one that is instructing him and showing him what it is and how it is to be a man of God. 17:39.031 --> 17:43.354 [SPEAKER_00]: Your son is getting to that age that he needs his dad more than his mom. 17:43.674 --> 17:48.036 [SPEAKER_00]: And this is really hard for us moms when I think I have done an episode about this. 17:48.576 --> 17:51.798 [SPEAKER_00]: When we need to let go of what do they say cut the apron strings? 17:52.018 --> 17:53.179 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's an old saying. 17:53.239 --> 17:54.020 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's what that means. 17:54.600 --> 18:01.524 [SPEAKER_00]: But when we need to let go and we need to place them from our hands into our husband's hands. 18:01.964 --> 18:04.746 [SPEAKER_00]: Dad is the one that's going to show him how to grow to be a man. 18:04.826 --> 18:06.747 [SPEAKER_00]: And we are not always going to like it. 18:07.147 --> 18:11.673 [SPEAKER_00]: We aren't going to like how our husband, the dad's tone to them. 18:13.301 --> 18:15.342 [SPEAKER_00]: but it is what he needs. 18:15.582 --> 18:20.684 [SPEAKER_00]: So I would highly recommend that dad steps in, and it's not just the dad spending time correcting. 18:21.104 --> 18:23.645 [SPEAKER_00]: How about he and dad go and do fun things together? 18:23.966 --> 18:29.408 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe they go to a local baseball game or a big league baseball game or a football, what kind of sport is it? 18:30.008 --> 18:38.532 [SPEAKER_00]: Or they go mini golfing, or they go to a driving range and hit golf balls and see who can hit it far and just have a good time together. 18:39.332 --> 18:46.619 [SPEAKER_00]: I would also highly recommend dad doing some type of Bible study, or some type of guidance, something with him on a regular basis. 18:47.360 --> 18:58.470 [SPEAKER_00]: So really, the solution is kind of a two part, check to see if there are some type of influences, outside influences that you are not aware of, and then make whatever changes need to be made necessary. 18:58.891 --> 19:00.973 [SPEAKER_00]: But then also dad needs to come alongside. 19:00.993 --> 19:02.934 [SPEAKER_00]: He needs to be a part of that if that is the case. 19:03.615 --> 19:15.524 [SPEAKER_00]: But either way, if that is not the case, it's not that, it's just that maybe there's, I don't know, for some reason your son is acting out in this way, that is the one that needs to step in and say, no, this is not acceptable. 19:15.564 --> 19:19.186 [SPEAKER_00]: This is how you treat your mother, my wife, that kind of stuff. 19:19.326 --> 19:20.347 [SPEAKER_00]: And it can be hard. 19:20.467 --> 19:22.429 [SPEAKER_00]: And yes, go back and listen to an episode. 19:22.449 --> 19:24.890 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll try to link that in the show notes for you. 19:24.910 --> 19:26.732 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that'll be a good encouragement. 19:26.772 --> 19:26.852 [SPEAKER_00]: But 19:27.312 --> 19:45.917 [SPEAKER_00]: I would say don't let whatever it is, whatever this negative attitude and we're not all going to be polyanas, we're not all going to be pie in the sky and you know, boys are going to maybe lean towards something a little bit more negative or just a little bit more straightforward and that's okay. 19:46.317 --> 19:49.158 [SPEAKER_00]: But we need to know that this is not how we treat people and if 19:49.618 --> 19:52.220 [SPEAKER_00]: you let this go, it's not going to get better. 19:52.300 --> 19:59.506 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I like that you are asking for advice in trying to figure it out because it shows that you don't want this to continue because it's not going to continue down a good path. 20:01.415 --> 20:01.795 [SPEAKER_00]: There we go. 20:02.156 --> 20:04.218 [SPEAKER_00]: There's there's my answers to those couple questions. 20:04.298 --> 20:19.158 [SPEAKER_00]: I hope that you have found it to be an encouragement to you Give in you some ideas and yeah, so just to remind you I'll leave back again here next Monday when you pop into your podcast app on Thursday And you don't see me there everything is absolutely fine 20:19.618 --> 20:22.459 [SPEAKER_00]: I promise you back here next Monday and I thank you for understanding. 20:22.859 --> 20:34.041 [SPEAKER_00]: If you think about me and the conference would love your prayers as we step into these last couple weeks and just that everything just lines up, the speakers, their flights and just everything is just a blessing. 20:34.181 --> 20:40.322 [SPEAKER_00]: I've been working on this all year and I've just if you are attending, I've been praying for you and can't wait to meet you. 20:40.742 --> 20:43.543 [SPEAKER_00]: But again, let's wrap up this episode and I'll see you back here in a week.