WEBVTT 00:04.204 --> 00:06.867 [SPEAKER_03]: I no longer pray for the Lord to give me strength. 00:08.868 --> 00:11.711 [SPEAKER_03]: Because I don't want the Lord to give me strength. 00:12.452 --> 00:14.814 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't pray Lord give me strength to move for this. 00:14.874 --> 00:17.797 [SPEAKER_03]: I just pray Lord, be my strength. 00:28.522 --> 00:32.686 [SPEAKER_04]: Hey and welcome to between Sundays with the Chandlers. 00:33.366 --> 00:36.449 [SPEAKER_04]: If you're thinking, hey, it looks like a bit of a different space. 00:37.150 --> 00:38.971 [SPEAKER_04]: It's because it is. 00:39.031 --> 00:41.293 [SPEAKER_04]: We're not in our little home office. 00:41.413 --> 00:44.476 [SPEAKER_04]: We are in Georgia with V. 00:45.777 --> 00:46.418 [SPEAKER_04]: Chad right now. 00:46.438 --> 00:50.480 [SPEAKER_04]: Do you want to do a dad joke this time or do you want to I didn't prepare one you didn't prepare one. 00:50.501 --> 00:51.881 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you have a dad joke. 00:51.902 --> 00:52.922 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you not have one. 00:52.982 --> 00:53.583 [SPEAKER_00]: You're cute. 00:53.703 --> 00:54.263 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't have one. 00:54.283 --> 00:54.804 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry. 00:54.884 --> 00:55.764 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry. 00:56.024 --> 00:56.525 [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. 00:56.585 --> 00:56.925 [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. 00:57.345 --> 00:57.826 [SPEAKER_04]: Sorry. 00:58.846 --> 01:02.829 [SPEAKER_04]: Maybe when we get home, we can just film one on a phone and send it to us. 01:02.889 --> 01:04.510 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm fresh to have a dad. 01:04.571 --> 01:05.611 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, that's true. 01:05.651 --> 01:06.612 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you're only. 01:06.692 --> 01:09.714 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm a three and a half month old dad. 01:09.774 --> 01:10.255 [SPEAKER_00]: I get it. 01:10.275 --> 01:10.695 [SPEAKER_00]: You're good. 01:10.715 --> 01:10.835 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, 01:11.115 --> 01:14.036 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, so we're in Georgia talking with Chad right. 01:14.056 --> 01:29.182 [SPEAKER_04]: Maybe you saw Chad on the Joe Rogan podcast or maybe you follow three seven But Chad's a like I have few men just make me laugh like literally laugh out loud with his one liners and he's got a real heart 01:30.322 --> 01:38.627 [SPEAKER_04]: for men to be men and for us to live into our God-given purposes and callings and a big part of that is doing the hard things. 01:39.727 --> 01:41.348 [SPEAKER_04]: And so eager to sit down with him. 01:41.428 --> 01:42.729 [SPEAKER_04]: But, Chad, I want to... 01:43.805 --> 01:48.809 [SPEAKER_04]: I think I was just saying this to you before we started filming, I guess we were filming at the time, but I doubt it makes the edit. 01:50.270 --> 01:58.496 [SPEAKER_04]: That watching you, this is a weird interview because I've watched you enough to feel like I know you, but I know I don't actually know you at all. 01:58.536 --> 02:06.722 [SPEAKER_04]: There's a lot out there about the Ultramarathoning, there's a lot out there about being a Navy seal, but really what we want to talk about is, okay, great. 02:07.523 --> 02:16.552 [SPEAKER_04]: What does that look like in this season of life as a married man with a three and a half month old son and just doing life between Sundays? 02:16.852 --> 02:30.185 [SPEAKER_04]: And so my first question, by the grace of God, I get to be around and walk with guys who have similar backgrounds, specifically as it relates to the teams. 02:31.626 --> 02:35.587 [SPEAKER_04]: And so this is one of my favorite questions for those guys, and so I'm going to lead with it. 02:37.008 --> 02:43.910 [SPEAKER_04]: What did being a Navy SEAL look like what you picked up in that world? 02:44.530 --> 02:47.691 [SPEAKER_04]: What did you take into marriage that ended up being a good thing? 02:48.251 --> 02:54.453 [SPEAKER_04]: And what did maybe you have to unlearn once you got married to Brooke, that the team's woven to you? 02:54.793 --> 02:56.054 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, that's a great question. 02:56.534 --> 03:11.061 [SPEAKER_03]: I think the good parts of what I learned as a seal, taking it and applying it in marriage, first and foremost, is patience, then the military is where I learned patience. 03:11.322 --> 03:11.562 [SPEAKER_03]: Sure. 03:12.162 --> 03:20.026 [SPEAKER_04]: None of us are born with patience, at least I've never met anyone who's a total depravity, actually, a place that you're in the that three and a half month, 03:21.827 --> 03:38.757 [SPEAKER_03]: give me the milk now for real and so the military teach it forces you into a position where you're either going to learn to be patient or you are going to just go insane and you're not going to make it through 03:39.377 --> 03:44.419 [SPEAKER_03]: whatever the process is that they are taking you through at that time. 03:44.479 --> 03:50.180 [SPEAKER_03]: So I think that is a critical aspect for me now especially as a father. 03:50.360 --> 03:54.141 [SPEAKER_03]: I patients is now become one of my strengths. 03:54.722 --> 04:02.184 [SPEAKER_03]: It's actually one of the core and fundamental elements that has allowed me to be successful in ultra running. 04:03.244 --> 04:08.668 [SPEAKER_03]: When you run 250 miles and you're running for four days, you realize it's a lot further. 04:08.688 --> 04:25.478 [SPEAKER_03]: 250 miles sounds like one thing when you talk about it and you look at it on paper, but then when you actually start taking the steps to go from point A to point B and there's 250 miles in between, you realize, okay, it's going to take me a lot longer to get to this finish line. 04:29.180 --> 04:36.268 [SPEAKER_03]: And I think it's critical not only as an athlete, as a father, but also as a spouse. 04:38.673 --> 04:46.099 [SPEAKER_03]: it's important I think in my marriage that one I'm patient with my spouse who is my teammate. 04:47.200 --> 04:55.586 [SPEAKER_03]: But also that I'm able to be patient with myself as I make mistakes and I have made many mistakes as a husband. 04:56.106 --> 04:59.809 [SPEAKER_03]: And I think I'm probably going to make many mistakes as a father. 04:59.929 --> 05:02.732 [SPEAKER_03]: As a matter of fact, I was listening to y'all's podcast. 05:03.372 --> 05:05.553 [SPEAKER_03]: just this morning about parenting. 05:06.313 --> 05:12.695 [SPEAKER_03]: And that was really good for me to hear that, hey, we're all gonna make mistakes. 05:13.355 --> 05:15.256 [SPEAKER_03]: There's no perfect parents, even the ones. 05:15.576 --> 05:18.457 [SPEAKER_03]: Especially the ones that try to look perfect. 05:18.537 --> 05:20.077 [SPEAKER_03]: I think I heard you say that. 05:20.097 --> 05:23.158 [SPEAKER_03]: No, I'm not having a good, man. 05:23.218 --> 05:26.199 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, so patients is big for me. 05:34.175 --> 05:40.866 [SPEAKER_03]: that is also where I learned how to I got to practice what it. 05:42.052 --> 05:45.973 [SPEAKER_03]: is actually like to stay in it when things get really hard. 05:46.013 --> 05:47.333 [SPEAKER_03]: Yes. 05:47.433 --> 06:00.537 [SPEAKER_03]: And I think I also got to, I got exposed at a young age, going through seal training to this, the reality of the, what hard is the true definition of hard. 06:00.937 --> 06:09.559 [SPEAKER_03]: Like the moments where, when, but most people have a total misunderstanding of what, the definition of hard is. 06:10.520 --> 06:11.902 [SPEAKER_03]: Right. 06:12.022 --> 06:20.450 [SPEAKER_03]: And thank God we live in a place and we live in a culture and we live in a country where we don't have to experience a lot of hard. 06:20.571 --> 06:27.217 [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, and so our definition is skewed hard is the moment. 06:27.978 --> 06:36.382 [SPEAKER_03]: when the situation essentially becomes far more difficult than you ever imagine. 06:37.302 --> 06:43.625 [SPEAKER_03]: And in that moment, you're probably going to arrive to a place that you don't want to be there anymore. 06:44.345 --> 06:45.685 [SPEAKER_03]: It's not fun anymore. 06:46.246 --> 06:48.847 [SPEAKER_03]: It's not cool to be there anymore. 06:49.687 --> 06:59.751 [SPEAKER_03]: You just want to stay in it so that you can ultimately achieve the goal that you set out to achieve or fulfill your purpose in life. 07:00.291 --> 07:16.417 [SPEAKER_03]: And so I got to experience that out of the young age and taking that into both my marriage and both into becoming a father, man, being able and having so many repetitions of just sticking with it when things get hard. 07:18.409 --> 07:27.553 [SPEAKER_03]: And then realizing that that hard isn't gonna last forever, like understanding what it means to move through that and to stick with it. 07:28.154 --> 07:33.136 [SPEAKER_03]: Dude, it has, well, it's one of the things that saved both my marriage. 07:33.616 --> 07:45.201 [SPEAKER_03]: And I think it's helping me even in real time, right now as a father, for instance, my wife and I had this whimsical idea that we were gonna have this child. 07:45.921 --> 07:48.763 [SPEAKER_03]: And within about six weeks we were going to be back to normal. 07:49.244 --> 07:49.564 [SPEAKER_03]: Sure. 07:49.724 --> 07:50.084 [SPEAKER_03]: All right. 07:50.485 --> 07:55.269 [SPEAKER_03]: So I had a move Blake and I had a moose hunt in Alaska plan for next month. 07:55.469 --> 07:58.631 [SPEAKER_03]: Two weeks off the grid no calms on of a lifetime. 07:59.372 --> 08:04.376 [SPEAKER_03]: We had all sorts of training missions planned with three of seven project out of town all this stuff. 08:04.396 --> 08:09.320 [SPEAKER_03]: You know, we thought, you know, yeah, we're going to take about six weeks off and we're just going to be rocking and rolling. 08:09.360 --> 08:11.582 [SPEAKER_03]: I used to tell Blake before we had Solomon. 08:12.102 --> 08:14.164 [SPEAKER_03]: I said, you know, this kid's coming into our 08:15.625 --> 08:23.728 [SPEAKER_04]: You know, that that was my motto, oh, I was so welcome to the family, so I'm going to need you to suck it up. 08:23.748 --> 08:27.189 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, exactly exactly like you're going to go where I go. 08:27.209 --> 08:28.350 [SPEAKER_03]: You're going to do what I do. 08:28.370 --> 08:29.990 [SPEAKER_03]: You're going to watch what I want to watch. 08:30.010 --> 08:30.671 [SPEAKER_03]: You're going to do. 08:30.691 --> 08:31.191 [SPEAKER_03]: All right. 08:31.671 --> 08:37.693 [SPEAKER_03]: And so how that applies to what I'm, you know, staying with it when things get hard is now here. 08:37.713 --> 08:39.114 [SPEAKER_03]: We are at three and a half months. 08:40.054 --> 08:42.395 [SPEAKER_03]: And, um, and it's still. 08:44.060 --> 08:44.741 [SPEAKER_03]: it's hard. 08:44.901 --> 08:47.583 [SPEAKER_03]: It's harder than we imagined it to be. 08:47.623 --> 08:48.663 [SPEAKER_03]: It's more different. 08:48.843 --> 09:00.791 [SPEAKER_03]: And I, of course, because of the love, the miracle of love that God puts in our heart for our children that I had never experienced before. 09:00.891 --> 09:05.454 [SPEAKER_03]: I thought it was of some like thing that corny parents just talked about. 09:05.514 --> 09:05.755 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, 09:06.375 --> 09:06.855 [SPEAKER_03]: Give me a break. 09:06.895 --> 09:08.116 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm not going to be like that. 09:08.856 --> 09:13.918 [SPEAKER_03]: I haven't reached a point that I don't want to do it anymore. 09:14.538 --> 09:16.759 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't think I'll ever reach that point as a father. 09:17.259 --> 09:18.460 [SPEAKER_03]: I want to do it. 09:19.020 --> 09:28.443 [SPEAKER_03]: But it's more difficult and more prolonged and I'm realizing it's going to be far more complex to do this and do it right than I thought it was going to be. 09:28.984 --> 09:32.225 [SPEAKER_03]: But because I have so many repetitions, 09:33.659 --> 09:48.520 [SPEAKER_03]: of staying with it when things get hard I'm able to embrace it sure I'm just able to completely embrace it yeah and what a blessing that is you know I am thankful that we that I waited. 09:50.176 --> 09:51.819 [SPEAKER_03]: And not I don't even know if it was my choice. 09:51.919 --> 09:54.083 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't even know if anything's my choice. 09:54.844 --> 10:03.359 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm so thankful the Lord or Dane did for me that I was 38 years old when I had my first child. 10:05.109 --> 10:11.132 [SPEAKER_03]: Because having the reps behind me is such a blessing. 10:11.412 --> 10:21.897 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, we talk often, you know, when you have kids younger, that firstborn is getting the least sanctified version of you. 10:21.917 --> 10:22.958 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. 10:23.198 --> 10:31.842 [SPEAKER_04]: Like if we'll ever exist, like the least, sanctified the least experience, the least knowledgeable, the least blessed firstborn's heart. 10:33.924 --> 10:39.218 [SPEAKER_04]: had them older, we would have had endured some things that would probably have made us a little bit more. 10:40.181 --> 10:42.025 [SPEAKER_03]: How old were you guys when you had your first? 10:42.683 --> 10:43.603 [SPEAKER_00]: I was 22. 10:43.623 --> 10:43.683 [SPEAKER_00]: 22. 10:43.703 --> 10:44.184 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 10:44.744 --> 10:45.584 [SPEAKER_03]: I can't imagine it. 10:45.664 --> 10:45.984 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 10:46.024 --> 10:46.765 [SPEAKER_00]: He was 28. 10:46.785 --> 10:47.165 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 10:48.025 --> 10:48.525 [SPEAKER_03]: Almost 28. 10:48.605 --> 10:49.245 [SPEAKER_03]: Almost 28. 10:49.285 --> 10:49.906 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 10:49.966 --> 10:55.148 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think it's, you know, different kind of hard for you and Brooke, our older. 10:55.208 --> 10:59.009 [SPEAKER_00]: So you had a way of living that you're used to. 10:59.189 --> 11:01.610 [SPEAKER_03]: You mean our selfishness was far more ingrained. 11:02.050 --> 11:02.490 [SPEAKER_03]: It could be. 11:02.630 --> 11:04.271 [SPEAKER_03]: I think I think that's what she said to me. 11:04.291 --> 11:06.572 [SPEAKER_00]: I know it's definitely still very selfish. 11:07.312 --> 11:11.557 [SPEAKER_00]: But I didn't have the years underneath me to be like, well, this is how life works. 11:11.638 --> 11:14.601 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, it still was moldable in that sense. 11:14.902 --> 11:17.665 [SPEAKER_00]: But it was hard because I wasn't experienced in life. 11:17.765 --> 11:22.852 [SPEAKER_00]: And I like, hard thing hadn't had a lot of hard in my life to work through. 11:22.872 --> 11:23.312 [SPEAKER_00]: I think of the new. 11:25.335 --> 11:42.814 [SPEAKER_00]: So, I think advantages and disadvantages of having all that life and having gone through the hard knowing what it is to stick with it, but then the disadvantage of also being ingrained in the kind of life that you're used to versus I didn't have as much of a life that I was used to. 11:43.895 --> 11:50.797 [SPEAKER_00]: But I didn't have a lot of life experience to kind of shape some really good fruit in my life, like patients. 11:50.817 --> 11:51.057 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 11:51.757 --> 11:52.977 [SPEAKER_04]: And we had just gotten to the church. 11:53.017 --> 11:54.738 [SPEAKER_04]: So it was such a show so much. 11:54.878 --> 11:56.218 [SPEAKER_04]: Everything was in transition. 11:56.258 --> 11:59.719 [SPEAKER_04]: New house, new baby, new role. 11:59.999 --> 12:00.359 [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, man. 12:00.399 --> 12:00.839 [SPEAKER_04]: We're there. 12:01.199 --> 12:01.659 [SPEAKER_04]: I'm yeah. 12:01.679 --> 12:02.900 [SPEAKER_04]: Thank you so much. 12:02.920 --> 12:05.861 [SPEAKER_03]: That's what we're literally moving into a new house. 12:06.061 --> 12:06.261 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 12:06.441 --> 12:06.981 [SPEAKER_03]: Right now. 12:07.901 --> 12:10.664 [SPEAKER_03]: my wife has chosen to step away from her career. 12:10.684 --> 12:11.064 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 12:11.365 --> 12:15.168 [SPEAKER_03]: Things have changed drastically here at three of seven projects and we have a new child. 12:15.188 --> 12:24.257 [SPEAKER_03]: So it's it's every piece and any one of those pieces at a time is so happy with the enough to navigate. 12:25.158 --> 12:30.622 [SPEAKER_03]: So I told you, we're kind of in a season of like, I don't know how to describe it, hyper sanctification. 12:30.662 --> 12:33.324 [SPEAKER_04]: And I don't even want to call it a difficult season. 12:33.484 --> 12:36.266 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't even want to call it a challenging season. 12:36.947 --> 12:41.350 [SPEAKER_03]: It's just being conformed into the image. 12:43.190 --> 12:45.752 [SPEAKER_03]: of our Lord Jesus Christ. 12:47.213 --> 12:49.734 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, that's not an easy process. 12:49.915 --> 12:51.075 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, that's so slow. 12:51.095 --> 12:51.896 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah. 12:51.936 --> 12:57.579 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I like how you're describing it that hyper, you know, like that discipleship. 12:57.599 --> 12:58.160 [SPEAKER_00]: What did you call it? 12:58.280 --> 12:59.781 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry to say I shouldn't have heard. 13:00.581 --> 13:07.806 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, I like kind of couching it that way because I, with our oldest and we're gonna eventually have her on the podcast. 13:07.826 --> 13:11.869 [SPEAKER_00]: She was our, our prodigal and so for eight years just, 13:12.349 --> 13:14.391 [SPEAKER_00]: praying and worrying on her behalf. 13:15.191 --> 13:21.536 [SPEAKER_00]: And I tell people when I they ask me about my kids, I talk about her and I was like, she increased my prayer life. 13:21.696 --> 13:22.176 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, man. 13:22.296 --> 13:23.397 [SPEAKER_00]: That's what she did. 13:23.457 --> 13:25.138 [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of, oh, she was our hard one. 13:25.619 --> 13:30.002 [SPEAKER_00]: She was the, you know, the one that we lost sleep over, which is all true. 13:30.783 --> 13:32.724 [SPEAKER_00]: She was the one that really increased my prayer life. 13:32.864 --> 13:33.645 [SPEAKER_00]: I knew it was like, 13:34.265 --> 13:44.010 [SPEAKER_00]: to war and contend for the heart of my daughter for God to soften her heart and to wake her up to his grace because of that. 13:44.050 --> 13:48.353 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I love that you're couching it that way and not yet difficult. 13:48.593 --> 13:49.053 [SPEAKER_00]: It's hard. 13:49.133 --> 13:52.715 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, but like the Lord is using it to form you. 13:52.775 --> 13:55.457 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, because of because of this 14:04.766 --> 14:26.131 [SPEAKER_03]: big things that we should focus on tapping into as sons and daughters of Christ is that secret of contentment that the Apostle Paul speaks of and he goes through all, he goes through this list of the, the things that the world would call extreme hardship and difficulty and 14:26.831 --> 14:28.891 [SPEAKER_03]: He doesn't complain about any of them. 14:28.931 --> 14:33.172 [SPEAKER_03]: He says, I have learned to be content in all of these. 14:33.312 --> 14:37.133 [SPEAKER_03]: How does he do that is because he's consistently looking to Christ. 14:37.193 --> 14:47.716 [SPEAKER_03]: And he understands the process of sanctification that he specifically has been called to ask the Apostle Paul, which was extreme and extreme case. 14:48.336 --> 14:52.737 [SPEAKER_03]: But he was called to an extreme purpose and an extreme mission. 14:53.537 --> 14:57.320 [SPEAKER_03]: And so yeah, practicing that and an understanding. 14:57.360 --> 15:03.645 [SPEAKER_03]: That's a real thing that we can access, that we can experience in Christ. 15:03.925 --> 15:04.305 [SPEAKER_04]: No doubt. 15:04.445 --> 15:09.629 [SPEAKER_03]: And it changes the language around the difficult season. 15:09.729 --> 15:10.349 [SPEAKER_03]: We do too. 15:10.530 --> 15:14.673 [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know that it always does in Christians, but it certainly should reframe. 15:15.373 --> 15:25.259 [SPEAKER_04]: the Lord's up to something here and it's for my good and his glory and I'm I might not ever understand it but that's what the Scriptures call me to. 15:25.439 --> 15:27.460 [SPEAKER_03]: I love that you said it's for his glory. 15:27.860 --> 15:29.021 [SPEAKER_03]: It's not even for us. 15:29.361 --> 15:31.683 [SPEAKER_03]: Well we get we get tons of benefits from it. 15:31.723 --> 15:32.083 [SPEAKER_03]: Right? 15:32.623 --> 15:50.839 [SPEAKER_03]: But when you look at Romans 28, 28 and 29, when it says we're predestined to what, exactly what we're talking about, we're predestined to be conformed into the image of his son, God, the Father's Son, Jesus Christ, why are we predestined to be conformed? 15:51.660 --> 15:52.000 [SPEAKER_03]: Why? 15:52.100 --> 15:54.501 [SPEAKER_03]: It's not, it's not really for our sake. 15:54.881 --> 16:00.382 [SPEAKER_03]: It's so that he, that is the Lord Jesus, would be the first born among many brethren. 16:00.902 --> 16:05.263 [SPEAKER_03]: It's, it's, it's, I view, and I don't know if you would agree or disagree with this. 16:05.923 --> 16:11.444 [SPEAKER_03]: I view the, the church as the, the bride of Christ. 16:12.104 --> 16:15.445 [SPEAKER_03]: Essentially, what is the purpose of our existence? 16:16.714 --> 16:21.635 [SPEAKER_03]: It is, it is for the glorification of the Son. 16:22.135 --> 16:29.837 [SPEAKER_03]: The Father is going to offer us as the, the, the, the, the bride to the Son. 16:29.857 --> 16:34.598 [SPEAKER_03]: What's the whole purpose of us even being sanctified? 16:35.058 --> 16:39.759 [SPEAKER_03]: And we get the benefits of it, but ultimately it's all for him. 16:39.779 --> 16:40.439 [SPEAKER_00]: That's right. 16:40.459 --> 16:41.600 [SPEAKER_00]: It is absolutely. 16:43.222 --> 16:48.791 [SPEAKER_04]: was there anything that you had to unlearn in marriage? 16:49.152 --> 16:57.084 [SPEAKER_03]: And now as a father, yes, I haven't completely unlearned. 16:58.457 --> 16:58.697 [SPEAKER_04]: Sure. 16:59.738 --> 17:01.378 [SPEAKER_03]: Definitely process. 17:01.438 --> 17:04.580 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and process and we'll be a lifelong process. 17:04.920 --> 17:16.786 [SPEAKER_03]: I think that the biggest one that I could put my finger on and there's many, many things that we could go into, but maybe this will be common and resonate with many of the people listening is pride and specifically. 17:17.726 --> 17:27.031 [SPEAKER_03]: when you become a seal, they put you through a training pipeline and they really do warp your mind. 17:27.491 --> 17:39.117 [SPEAKER_03]: They take, they strip everything from you, every ounce of identity, even down to the clothes that you wear and the way you like to comb your hair or 17:40.479 --> 17:43.381 [SPEAKER_03]: where I'll be here or whatever it may be. 17:43.721 --> 17:56.310 [SPEAKER_03]: They take all of that from you and they and they do that for a reason and it's because they are going to shape you then into a type of human being who believes that he's invincible. 17:57.410 --> 18:00.471 [SPEAKER_03]: believes that he's better than everyone else around him. 18:00.551 --> 18:00.811 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 18:01.411 --> 18:11.034 [SPEAKER_03]: And so man, you know, in my, in my younger years, especially prior to receiving the gift of salvation, I embraced that. 18:12.014 --> 18:12.834 [SPEAKER_03]: And I did. 18:12.974 --> 18:19.456 [SPEAKER_03]: I did indeed think that everyone else who didn't wear the tried-in were they were basically losers. 18:20.036 --> 18:20.636 [SPEAKER_03]: You know what I mean? 18:20.676 --> 18:23.917 [SPEAKER_03]: I had nothing to relate with them. 18:27.858 --> 18:40.624 [SPEAKER_03]: But also having this kind of warrior spirit, and then that being fostered by walking this warrior path, man. 18:41.897 --> 19:01.287 [SPEAKER_03]: I just want to fight yeah like I just need a fight yeah and like I want I want someone I want something I want something I want something I mean I love a fight man and there's a lot of pride wrapped up in that you know and and I and yeah man I'm still struggling 19:08.758 --> 19:10.979 [SPEAKER_03]: relationship with your spouse. 19:11.559 --> 19:15.061 [SPEAKER_03]: And I think it's a poor example for my son. 19:16.101 --> 19:19.363 [SPEAKER_03]: And so I did have to unlearn that. 19:19.463 --> 19:28.107 [SPEAKER_03]: And the Lord's put me in situations, and he has allowed me to make some really big mistakes that, uh, 19:29.117 --> 19:42.186 [SPEAKER_03]: You know, kind of knocked me off my high horse, and I think most recently, I have a lot of pride around my physical capability, because I have so much under my belt so much success in that arena. 19:44.598 --> 19:51.762 [SPEAKER_03]: two years ago, I developed a massive blood clot in my, in my right leg and it put me down, man. 19:52.042 --> 19:54.063 [SPEAKER_03]: It put me down, you know, and I didn't know. 19:54.303 --> 19:58.925 [SPEAKER_03]: Was this thing gonna break loose and go to my heart and lungs and kill me like I didn't know. 19:59.025 --> 20:01.307 [SPEAKER_03]: I couldn't, I couldn't run. 20:01.327 --> 20:02.887 [SPEAKER_03]: I couldn't work out. 20:02.968 --> 20:04.468 [SPEAKER_03]: This thing was extremely painful. 20:04.508 --> 20:05.549 [SPEAKER_03]: My leg was swollen. 20:06.369 --> 20:13.013 [SPEAKER_03]: That was the first time I had ever really experienced a health issue that was debilitating at least for a season. 20:13.873 --> 20:22.099 [SPEAKER_03]: That was good for me to be quite honest with you, to remind me of how weak I really am. 20:22.279 --> 20:24.280 [SPEAKER_03]: Like that's what I need to be reminded of. 20:24.640 --> 20:27.102 [SPEAKER_03]: I need to be reminded of how weak I really am. 20:27.602 --> 20:30.724 [SPEAKER_03]: Maybe for some men, it's the opposite end of the spectrum. 20:30.844 --> 20:38.449 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't, maybe some men are, you know, which we're gonna talk about the Beatitudes later, but that's what I need to be reminded of most. 20:39.545 --> 20:42.447 [SPEAKER_03]: and definitely being in the military falsters pride. 20:42.647 --> 20:42.867 [SPEAKER_04]: Sure. 20:43.307 --> 20:43.547 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 20:43.848 --> 20:53.093 [SPEAKER_04]: So that's a great segue into like there's a difference between toughness and self-sufficiency. 20:55.234 --> 21:11.949 [SPEAKER_04]: my experience with guys with your background and capabilities is that in that path of sanctification, Jesus has to do some pretty significant, or the spirit has to do some significant breaking down of that self-sufficiency. 21:13.110 --> 21:19.316 [SPEAKER_04]: Like the clot is a great example of in the kindness of the Lord, 21:22.098 --> 21:23.018 [SPEAKER_04]: I love that you're tough. 21:23.038 --> 21:28.981 [SPEAKER_04]: I think Jesus loves that we can have a high pain tolerance, trusting in him. 21:29.701 --> 21:33.162 [SPEAKER_04]: But man is the self-sufficiency, the enemy of the gospel. 21:33.222 --> 21:41.405 [SPEAKER_04]: Can you talk more about that internal wrangle of self-sufficiency versus dependence and reliance on the Lord? 21:42.847 --> 22:12.112 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I mean, it's been one of the, as you stated, it has been one of the major obstacles for me in terms of my growth as a Christian, you know, I, I have been now saved and I have, I received the gift of salvation in 2012, while I was on the deployment and, and so I've been, I've been doing this for, I've been walking with Christ for what 13 years now. 22:13.230 --> 22:37.080 [SPEAKER_03]: I feel like I'm way behind, and if I am indeed way behind, it's because of exactly what you're talking about, it's this desire to, or it's this false narrative that I am in control and that I have the strength that I need, the skills that I need, the resources 22:42.440 --> 22:57.325 [SPEAKER_03]: To be honest with you, it's probably just been within the last few years of my life where by God's grace, I have been taught how to relinquish that, at least to a large extent. 22:58.205 --> 23:06.309 [SPEAKER_03]: And my prayers now are, it's even changed the way I pray in the way that I seek the Lord. 23:06.349 --> 23:11.972 [SPEAKER_03]: You know, I pray every day Lord helped me in my weakness. 23:12.872 --> 23:15.893 [SPEAKER_03]: And I no longer pray for the Lord to give me strength. 23:17.894 --> 23:20.756 [SPEAKER_03]: Because I don't want the Lord to give me strength. 23:22.316 --> 23:23.817 [SPEAKER_03]: Because I know if he does, 23:28.383 --> 23:33.384 [SPEAKER_03]: screw something up, like it's, but it's taking me this long to understand that. 23:33.424 --> 23:45.047 [SPEAKER_03]: So, so when, when I, when I see that I'm faced with a situation that I'm not, and, and I, it's becomes really, really clear, I'm not going to be, I'm not going to be enough. 23:46.107 --> 23:48.468 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't probably Lord give me strength to move through this. 23:48.548 --> 23:51.468 [SPEAKER_03]: I just probably Lord, be my strength. 23:51.528 --> 23:53.089 [SPEAKER_03]: Like go before me. 23:53.269 --> 23:58.070 [SPEAKER_03]: You are my, you are the source of strength. 23:58.610 --> 24:21.452 [SPEAKER_03]: Don't give it to me, allow me to continue to walk through this and acknowledge my weakness in my insufficiency, but all the while knowing that you are Almighty, all knowing, all powerful, and that you love me, and remind me of your promises that, indeed, for those who love God, all things will be worked together for the good, even this thing that might be crushing me, potentially killing me, or 24:23.184 --> 24:26.585 [SPEAKER_03]: destroying a marriage, a relationship, whatever it may be. 24:27.025 --> 24:47.611 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I think experientially that's been the gift of children in particular was certainly something that helped put to death self-sufficiency in us, like we're both both achievers, both hard workers, both pretty high pain tolerance, and there wasn't much we couldn't push through and 24:49.367 --> 24:52.669 [SPEAKER_04]: But with your kids, there's this illusion of control. 24:53.189 --> 24:53.449 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 24:54.850 --> 24:59.232 [SPEAKER_04]: Hey, it's just an illusion, but it feels really powerful, especially when they're young. 24:59.913 --> 25:02.314 [SPEAKER_04]: Then as they get older, you're like, oh, man, we can't. 25:02.414 --> 25:05.136 [SPEAKER_04]: We don't have, you're going to have to do something here, Lord. 25:05.196 --> 25:07.237 [SPEAKER_04]: We can't, you're going to have to drop the match from heaven. 25:07.257 --> 25:08.017 [SPEAKER_04]: You're going to have to. 25:08.538 --> 25:12.960 [SPEAKER_04]: So I'm thinking Solomon might be a part of the Lord help even more. 25:13.140 --> 25:18.684 [SPEAKER_00]: I love what you said, speaking of Solomon, just the, I think of the Old Testament kings. 25:19.124 --> 25:23.667 [SPEAKER_00]: There's so many stories of how they were successful until they became strong. 25:24.107 --> 25:24.428 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. 25:24.568 --> 25:31.813 [SPEAKER_00]: And so yeah, where, yeah, they were good kings when they were trusting the Lord's strength and not their own. 25:32.393 --> 25:39.561 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's always been a warning, you know, to me is like, okay, Lord, I don't, like you said, I don't want it to be strong. 25:39.861 --> 25:41.783 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to rely on your strength here. 25:41.863 --> 25:43.025 [SPEAKER_00]: So even with our kids. 25:43.245 --> 25:44.126 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 25:45.247 --> 25:46.448 [SPEAKER_00]: Being their mom or. 25:47.469 --> 25:53.779 [SPEAKER_00]: or whatever it is before me instead of me being strong, leaning into his efficiency. 25:53.999 --> 25:55.561 [SPEAKER_00]: Like you've got to do this. 25:55.782 --> 25:57.444 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't change Audrey's heart. 25:58.005 --> 26:00.188 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't make my kids do anything. 26:00.508 --> 26:02.471 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, of ultimate value. 26:02.612 --> 26:02.792 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. 26:03.252 --> 26:06.535 [SPEAKER_00]: eternal value, you've got to do this, you've got to be. 26:07.136 --> 26:12.820 [SPEAKER_00]: And even in my, I mean, that's the warnings in Scripture are not to take things into our own hands. 26:12.900 --> 26:15.503 [SPEAKER_00]: When we start doing that, it all goes wrong. 26:15.623 --> 26:24.530 [SPEAKER_00]: And so staying in that place of dependence, yes, weakness, but dependence in the weakness of God, you've got to come through on this. 26:24.750 --> 26:27.473 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that it's, it first or second chronicles and 26:32.057 --> 26:50.655 [SPEAKER_04]: until he became strong, that was the, he was mighty in the Lord with a long list of what he had done in pushing back the darkness of his day, and then man, that thing ends so terribly once he starts to look around and's like, man, I got this, I'm not built. 26:51.416 --> 26:54.039 [SPEAKER_04]: brand new weapons that are defending Jerusalem. 26:54.439 --> 26:57.122 [SPEAKER_04]: I have tore down the high places. 26:57.142 --> 27:01.766 [SPEAKER_04]: I have it was the eye that got him where it was according to the text. 27:01.806 --> 27:02.707 [SPEAKER_04]: It was the Lord. 27:02.727 --> 27:10.515 [SPEAKER_04]: It was mighty until he started looking around and developing some swagger and then it all went bad and it ends with a whimper. 27:11.755 --> 27:17.096 [SPEAKER_04]: with him getting leprosy because he pushed into the temple and the priests rebuked him. 27:18.637 --> 27:21.417 [SPEAKER_04]: And he didn't care. 27:22.177 --> 27:24.418 [SPEAKER_04]: The priest rebuked him and kept pushing forward. 27:24.458 --> 27:34.480 [SPEAKER_03]: So I think the Lord showed me like on day one that I had zero control as a father because when my son was born, he almost died. 27:34.780 --> 27:35.300 [SPEAKER_00]: Really. 27:40.111 --> 27:43.773 [SPEAKER_03]: showed me this son come from my wife. 27:45.093 --> 27:48.295 [SPEAKER_03]: He comes now into the world and he's completely lifeless. 27:48.515 --> 27:49.695 [SPEAKER_03]: So now I can see him. 27:50.015 --> 27:50.256 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. 27:50.676 --> 27:56.258 [SPEAKER_03]: But I'm thinking, well, I'm not ever going to be able to know him. 27:56.438 --> 27:56.698 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 27:56.899 --> 28:02.421 [SPEAKER_03]: So it's like the Lord took me on day on moment one and he's done this a few other times in my life. 28:02.901 --> 28:04.622 [SPEAKER_03]: He says, I'm going to show you what 28:07.493 --> 28:18.773 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm ultimately going to give you, but I'm going to let you experience at least for a moment what your what it would feel like if your story was this. 28:20.925 --> 28:24.426 [SPEAKER_03]: If your story was, I didn't get to receive this gift. 28:25.106 --> 28:35.548 [SPEAKER_03]: And he let me sit in that for about about, well, ultimately, about six or seven hours after my son was born. 28:36.268 --> 28:43.770 [SPEAKER_03]: He let me sit in that and then allowed me to receive the gift of my son. 28:44.050 --> 28:44.370 [UNKNOWN]: Come on. 28:44.650 --> 28:49.171 [SPEAKER_03]: But he, but he, I don't know why he does that to me all this time. 28:51.048 --> 28:55.630 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know if it's it's because he's like just I know who you are Chad. 28:55.690 --> 28:59.952 [SPEAKER_03]: So I'm going to go ahead and force you to relinquish the control that you thought you had. 29:00.492 --> 29:03.953 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, the worst day of my life was that they must almost boring. 29:04.093 --> 29:09.576 [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, I have I have struggled more with fear. 29:10.116 --> 29:10.356 [SPEAKER_03]: Sure. 29:10.656 --> 29:14.918 [SPEAKER_03]: Since the day he was born, then I ever have in my entire life. 29:15.478 --> 29:15.958 [SPEAKER_04]: It won. 29:15.998 --> 29:17.159 [SPEAKER_04]: It's tied to that. 29:18.330 --> 29:23.753 [SPEAKER_04]: unique love that belongs between father and son, father and daughter. 29:24.534 --> 29:28.156 [SPEAKER_04]: And tied to it same could be said from others. 29:29.537 --> 29:32.379 [SPEAKER_04]: But the more you love something, right? 29:32.459 --> 29:35.801 [SPEAKER_04]: The more opportunity there is for anxiety and fear. 29:35.841 --> 29:36.801 [SPEAKER_04]: It's scary love. 29:36.962 --> 29:37.182 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. 29:37.302 --> 29:39.023 [SPEAKER_03]: It's scary love. 29:39.123 --> 29:41.764 [SPEAKER_03]: On so many, on so many spectrums too. 29:43.065 --> 29:52.993 [SPEAKER_03]: The other part of it that scary is you is I realize and I'm at least now for now conscious of how easily I could idolize my son. 29:53.234 --> 29:53.514 [SPEAKER_04]: Sure. 29:53.574 --> 29:54.535 [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely. 29:54.815 --> 30:05.123 [SPEAKER_04]: And also, I think the gift as the gift is our kids, you know, became a big part of day to day life. 30:06.224 --> 30:07.765 [SPEAKER_04]: The more I begin to see. 30:09.471 --> 30:31.752 [SPEAKER_04]: the love of the Father differently, that this thing I have for them he has for me, that this is a shadow of a greater reality, like my longing for my wanting to impart wisdom and impart grace and impart life to them would felt me overwhelming at times. 30:32.673 --> 30:45.363 [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm like, man, this is, this is the Lord's heart towards me, like even on the sanctification journey, I remember the first day Audrey who was our first born, learned to walk. 30:46.144 --> 30:48.406 [SPEAKER_04]: Like she just took two steps and fell. 30:48.866 --> 30:53.490 [SPEAKER_04]: She literally just let go of the coffee table took two steps and fell on the ground. 30:53.890 --> 30:59.575 [SPEAKER_04]: And I remember we were freaking out that baby was walking, that Audrey was walking. 31:00.621 --> 31:01.502 [SPEAKER_04]: but not well. 31:02.502 --> 31:07.426 [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm not even sure cognitively she was trying to walk at the she's probably trying to save her own life. 31:07.826 --> 31:09.708 [SPEAKER_04]: Like stick out your foot or fall in die. 31:10.368 --> 31:22.197 [SPEAKER_04]: And she stuck out her foot steps up to Fell and we were looking for the phone before iPhones were looking around trying to find the phone, no Instagram note like to call grandparents and friends and to talk about how baby's walking. 31:22.798 --> 31:25.260 [SPEAKER_04]: But really she just took two steps in Fell. 31:25.960 --> 31:31.823 [SPEAKER_04]: And I remember laying in bed that night and going, oh my goodness, that's the Lord's grace on us. 31:32.663 --> 31:34.804 [SPEAKER_04]: Like we just take two steps and stumble. 31:35.264 --> 31:40.207 [SPEAKER_04]: And the Lord's rejoicing in the steps, like a good dad, he didn't even see the fall. 31:40.847 --> 31:52.612 [SPEAKER_04]: He just saw those two, like that, the gift of children on top of everything else for me has just been repeatedly in my heartbreak, in my desire, in my longing. 31:55.079 --> 32:08.511 [SPEAKER_04]: a shadow of the perfect love of the Father, the perfect desire of the Father, the perfect zeal of the Father, where mine's got sin wrapped up in it, the Lord's is pure. 32:09.672 --> 32:12.495 [SPEAKER_04]: And so those moments for me, like, 32:13.295 --> 32:26.525 [SPEAKER_04]: holding Audrey for the first time and feeling a love like I'd never experienced and a renewed capacity for violence if anyone were to try to harm this child without any of the skills you possess. 32:27.746 --> 32:36.013 [SPEAKER_04]: But the willingness for it to get just a small taste of the Lord's commitment and 32:40.382 --> 32:57.560 [SPEAKER_03]: it's that good the interesting thing about my story is it's that goodness and that gift that you just described there that I did not want to experience sure that's the reason that if I could put if I could put a reason to why broken I 32:59.393 --> 33:00.894 [SPEAKER_03]: we're not going to have children. 33:00.974 --> 33:01.334 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 33:01.534 --> 33:03.155 [SPEAKER_03]: Was never in the conversation. 33:03.435 --> 33:20.025 [SPEAKER_03]: It was it was always no for me personally that was the reason the answer was no is because I did not want to expose myself to the potential to experience that level of love for another 33:20.585 --> 33:29.795 [SPEAKER_03]: being because I think I am so aware, one of the brokenness of the world and two of the fragility of life. 33:30.456 --> 33:32.598 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm so aware of it. 33:33.319 --> 33:40.947 [SPEAKER_03]: And I said, why am I going to open myself up to potential grief that 33:42.020 --> 33:43.481 [SPEAKER_03]: that is unimaginable. 33:43.501 --> 33:43.722 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 33:44.282 --> 33:45.063 [SPEAKER_03]: Why am I going? 33:45.163 --> 33:45.643 [SPEAKER_03]: Why? 33:45.884 --> 33:46.244 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. 33:46.304 --> 33:47.025 [SPEAKER_03]: Why would I do that? 33:47.085 --> 33:48.466 [SPEAKER_03]: Why did I do that? 33:48.946 --> 34:04.260 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, okay, is the, and, and I still don't know the answer to this is that love that you get to experience as a father, worth the potential for crushing, crushing grief. 34:07.737 --> 34:08.217 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know. 34:08.437 --> 34:10.238 [SPEAKER_03]: I hope I never have to find out. 34:10.258 --> 34:11.139 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, right. 34:11.439 --> 34:11.719 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. 34:12.119 --> 34:17.862 [SPEAKER_00]: What changed then for y'all to say, okay, we're going to we're going to risk this to laugh. 34:18.322 --> 34:20.424 [SPEAKER_03]: The Holy Spirit just putting it on my wife's heart. 34:20.804 --> 34:21.164 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah. 34:21.244 --> 34:21.444 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 34:21.764 --> 34:22.164 [SPEAKER_03]: I love that. 34:22.184 --> 34:23.105 [SPEAKER_03]: She convinced me. 34:23.585 --> 34:23.925 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. 34:23.965 --> 34:25.146 [SPEAKER_03]: Not even convinced me. 34:25.206 --> 34:28.728 [SPEAKER_03]: I just had to say, well, Brooke, if you want children, 34:29.965 --> 34:31.727 [SPEAKER_03]: Uh, I'm the only person you can ask you over with. 34:31.787 --> 34:50.202 [SPEAKER_03]: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 34:50.522 --> 34:57.828 [SPEAKER_00]: that the Lord gives us grace when we need it and that he'll provide some kind of grace if that ever happens, you know. 34:57.848 --> 34:59.189 [SPEAKER_03]: I have to believe that. 34:59.389 --> 35:02.792 [SPEAKER_03]: Because if that if if if if if 35:03.847 --> 35:21.204 [SPEAKER_03]: I think about parents who have lost their children now, or we have students come out and train with us who have children with really debilitating illnesses and genetic stuff going on and that's their life and... 35:24.750 --> 35:36.316 [SPEAKER_03]: If that became the path that I was called to wall, the Lord would have to pour out grace and mercy upon me. 35:37.196 --> 35:43.700 [SPEAKER_03]: Or else I would either probably kill myself or I would go get on a bicycle and just disappear. 35:43.860 --> 35:45.160 [SPEAKER_04]: Just force gumped that thing. 35:45.180 --> 35:45.441 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 35:45.721 --> 35:46.861 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 35:47.282 --> 35:48.002 [SPEAKER_00]: I believe you will. 35:48.302 --> 35:49.482 [SPEAKER_03]: Well, I believe that too. 35:49.502 --> 35:52.763 [SPEAKER_04]: We've watched him do it over and over again at the church. 35:52.803 --> 35:53.563 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we have. 35:53.583 --> 35:53.803 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. 35:54.084 --> 35:54.344 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 35:55.404 --> 36:05.807 [SPEAKER_04]: How do you keep spiritual formation or sanctification becoming like Jesus, growing in the faith from becoming just like one more self-improvement project? 36:05.847 --> 36:11.008 [SPEAKER_04]: Like at what point does mastery have to give way to dependence on God? 36:11.728 --> 36:26.971 [SPEAKER_04]: Maybe another way to ask that is like high achievers, my experience with high achievers, and I'm one of them, is for whatever reason, sin bent as I am, I'm always trying to prove myself. 36:27.751 --> 36:34.593 [SPEAKER_04]: I'm trying to prove myself primarily to me, not just prove myself to the world, although there's certainly some of that in there. 36:35.473 --> 36:39.776 [SPEAKER_04]: like those broken parts of me and that's maybe it's family boarded. 36:39.816 --> 36:48.222 [SPEAKER_04]: I don't, I just think it's bent just the iniquity that were born bent into, you know, David, surely I was brought forth in iniquity. 36:48.802 --> 36:52.885 [SPEAKER_04]: My bent is not laziness that some people are. 36:52.905 --> 37:00.891 [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, I meet guys and that's their bent, they're they quit quick, no pain tolerance, and so they'll just sit in it. 37:01.631 --> 37:01.772 [SPEAKER_04]: I'm, 37:02.777 --> 37:03.938 [SPEAKER_04]: I'm the exact opposite. 37:03.958 --> 37:12.643 [SPEAKER_04]: I'm constantly trying to prove to me that I'm lovable rather than just relying on the truth of God's Word. 37:12.683 --> 37:13.404 [SPEAKER_04]: This says, no, no. 37:13.864 --> 37:19.988 [SPEAKER_04]: Like, like I before the foundation of the earth was late, set my affection on you. 37:20.588 --> 37:25.973 [SPEAKER_04]: based on my righteousness, not your righteousness, based on my goodness, not your goodness. 37:26.353 --> 37:31.277 [SPEAKER_04]: You can rest in that, and then work from that, not work for that. 37:31.698 --> 37:34.760 [SPEAKER_04]: And so the thing I'd love to hear you talk about, 37:36.822 --> 37:43.307 [SPEAKER_04]: is like how, because you, you've self-imposed a lot of suffering on your life. 37:43.327 --> 37:48.031 [SPEAKER_04]: Like Ultramarathoning is a choosing of extreme suffering. 37:49.011 --> 37:49.892 [SPEAKER_04]: Um, it just is. 37:49.932 --> 37:54.555 [SPEAKER_04]: We have a good friend that was an overweight dad who got challenged by his kids. 37:54.675 --> 37:57.297 [SPEAKER_04]: And then he just ran his first ultra last year. 37:57.317 --> 37:59.679 [SPEAKER_04]: And I mean, he, he was on the podcast talk. 37:59.699 --> 38:02.861 [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, he just crapped himself, just kept running with his own 38:04.963 --> 38:20.245 [SPEAKER_03]: It's not advisable, but yeah, just talked about how miserable of experience that was I understand the question I think yeah, how does mastery or Well, I think my answer to this is 38:22.327 --> 38:42.604 [SPEAKER_03]: Realizing that sanctification is in a whole different category than achievement or mastery in terms of whether it's the physical, whether it's the mental or whether it's a professional like building a business or something like that, I mean we. 38:43.685 --> 38:48.767 [SPEAKER_03]: We have a successful business here at three of seven project and we're a for-profit business. 38:48.847 --> 38:50.608 [SPEAKER_03]: We are not a non-profit. 38:50.628 --> 38:57.611 [SPEAKER_03]: We are a for-profit business and we have, I think, achieved a certain level of mastery in business. 38:57.691 --> 38:59.872 [SPEAKER_03]: I think physically, yes, I have achieved that. 38:59.912 --> 39:02.573 [SPEAKER_03]: I think professionally even in my steel career. 39:02.593 --> 39:04.134 [SPEAKER_03]: I've achieved that in all this and that. 39:04.534 --> 39:09.936 [SPEAKER_03]: But the process of sanctification is in a, it's categorically different. 39:10.117 --> 39:11.997 [SPEAKER_03]: It's in a completely separate 39:14.758 --> 39:32.342 [SPEAKER_03]: You know, block and the difference is, is really to be honest with you, all the success I've had, all the mastery that I have had in life and in the other categories, the more coronal categories, they all appeal to my flesh. 39:32.662 --> 39:32.883 [SPEAKER_04]: Sure. 39:33.223 --> 39:33.743 [SPEAKER_03]: They all do. 39:34.283 --> 39:34.763 [SPEAKER_03]: Six. 39:35.383 --> 39:35.983 [SPEAKER_03]: I get it. 39:36.363 --> 39:38.144 [SPEAKER_03]: Building a business is difficult. 39:38.164 --> 39:38.864 [SPEAKER_03]: They're stressed. 39:43.845 --> 39:50.569 [SPEAKER_03]: because you are you are basically achieving your goal, right? 39:50.609 --> 39:52.230 [SPEAKER_03]: Like ultra marathon. 39:52.410 --> 39:53.831 [SPEAKER_03]: Yes, there's hard parts of it. 39:53.991 --> 39:55.192 [SPEAKER_03]: Ultimately, it's a peel. 39:55.292 --> 39:56.953 [SPEAKER_03]: It's appealing to my flesh. 39:58.614 --> 39:59.815 [SPEAKER_03]: Scentification. 40:00.963 --> 40:07.129 [SPEAKER_03]: First of all, is something that I realize I cannot do and I would never do. 40:07.309 --> 40:07.549 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 40:08.010 --> 40:10.172 [SPEAKER_03]: It is something that I would never choose. 40:10.232 --> 40:10.512 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 40:10.993 --> 40:13.976 [SPEAKER_03]: I chose to start a business, at least I think I did. 40:13.996 --> 40:14.496 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 40:14.736 --> 40:16.878 [SPEAKER_03]: I choose to run an ultra marathon. 40:17.639 --> 40:19.721 [SPEAKER_03]: I choose to do all these other things. 40:19.821 --> 40:34.452 [SPEAKER_03]: I chose to be a Navy SEAL, you know, we're not gonna get into the context of that and what that actually means in terms of free will and in your sovereignty and all that, but at least it seems to me like I chose those things. 40:34.953 --> 40:37.755 [SPEAKER_03]: I would never choose to be sanctified. 40:37.875 --> 40:38.115 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 40:39.056 --> 40:40.057 [SPEAKER_03]: I would never choose that. 40:40.137 --> 40:41.538 [SPEAKER_03]: It's just happening to me. 40:41.758 --> 40:42.339 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 40:42.519 --> 40:44.801 [SPEAKER_03]: It's something that's just happening to me. 40:44.841 --> 40:45.041 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 40:45.782 --> 40:47.222 [SPEAKER_03]: You see how much different it is? 40:47.262 --> 40:48.263 [SPEAKER_01]: That is different. 40:48.303 --> 40:49.903 [SPEAKER_03]: That is totally different. 40:50.003 --> 40:50.183 [UNKNOWN]: Yeah. 40:50.544 --> 40:52.124 [SPEAKER_03]: Isn't by no means the same thing. 40:52.224 --> 40:52.864 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 40:53.324 --> 41:13.491 [SPEAKER_03]: And so for me, that's why sanctification doesn't get lumped in to personal growth or any, that's why I have, well, I vehemently disagree. 41:14.658 --> 41:17.940 [SPEAKER_03]: with pastors who are motivational speakers. 41:18.060 --> 41:19.381 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, great. 41:19.881 --> 41:24.284 [SPEAKER_03]: I believe a pastor should stand in the pulpit and expose it the word of God. 41:24.464 --> 41:24.704 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. 41:25.850 --> 41:27.671 [SPEAKER_03]: and you know the problem with that. 41:28.411 --> 41:37.095 [SPEAKER_03]: It's really difficult to grow a congregation if you stand in the pulpit and exposit the word of God because there are very few people only the true church. 41:37.796 --> 41:42.638 [SPEAKER_03]: Not the visible church, but the true church that only God knows who the true church is. 41:43.398 --> 41:46.240 [SPEAKER_03]: Only those individuals have a hunger. 41:47.020 --> 41:49.383 [SPEAKER_03]: for the literal word of God. 41:49.983 --> 42:06.380 [SPEAKER_03]: Everyone else has a hunger or self-improvement for finding a way to navigate through, you know, whatever it is they're trying to do to get better, essentially, according to what the world says is better. 42:07.300 --> 42:09.282 [SPEAKER_03]: And I vehemently disagree. 42:09.943 --> 42:26.705 [SPEAKER_03]: with a pastor who gets in the pulpit and is in and and and week after week is going to preach your five steps to to be this or that or whatever it is or you you're just going to get up for story time or are you're going to say some catchy phrases sure it bit 42:28.282 --> 42:42.237 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, yeah, it bothers me because sanctification's in a whole and a whole different category and and and and part of our saying we we ought to be being sanctified through the preaching of the word when we gather as the church. 42:43.539 --> 42:49.122 [SPEAKER_03]: Um, and the pastor steps up and says, thus say at the Lord, the word is is sanctifying us. 42:50.163 --> 43:00.588 [SPEAKER_03]: And, uh, where I'm thankful that we have a congregation, multiple congregations here in Rome, Georgia, where the pastor steps into the pulpit. 43:02.015 --> 43:05.176 [SPEAKER_03]: And he's not covered in tattoos. 43:05.917 --> 43:08.978 [SPEAKER_03]: And he's not wearing tennis shoes. 43:09.018 --> 43:13.120 [SPEAKER_03]: He's dressed like a man and he's drawing. 43:13.200 --> 43:15.541 [SPEAKER_03]: No attention to his physical form. 43:16.201 --> 43:19.303 [SPEAKER_03]: He steps up and he opens the Bible. 43:20.466 --> 43:23.567 [SPEAKER_03]: And he spends a year going through the book of Psalms. 43:24.167 --> 43:25.407 [SPEAKER_03]: Every Sunday, what are you going to get? 43:25.427 --> 43:28.588 [SPEAKER_03]: You're going to get an exposition of the next Psalm. 43:29.088 --> 43:29.528 [SPEAKER_04]: That's awesome. 43:29.688 --> 43:35.550 [SPEAKER_03]: And if you're not hungry for the word of God, that's not going to satisfy you when you go there. 43:35.950 --> 43:43.752 [SPEAKER_03]: But I'm thankful that we have a place in God has called men to that position in the pulpit, in the town that I live in. 43:44.152 --> 43:44.392 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. 43:44.652 --> 43:45.013 [SPEAKER_04]: What again? 43:45.033 --> 43:45.753 [SPEAKER_03]: Man, I love it. 43:45.833 --> 43:46.253 [SPEAKER_04]: What a gift. 43:47.739 --> 43:52.022 [SPEAKER_04]: Um, in anything off of that, you want to ask her. 43:52.042 --> 43:58.047 [SPEAKER_00]: I, 100% agree that sanctification is very separate from you building all these things. 43:58.547 --> 44:03.051 [SPEAKER_00]: But I would imagine sanctification still happened as you built all these things. 44:03.972 --> 44:11.938 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, so I'd be curious anything in that, uh, that comes to mind that God used to sanctify you as you built these things. 44:13.083 --> 44:18.727 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, like I said, you're exactly right, too, by the way, sanctification is something that's just happening to me. 44:18.847 --> 44:20.328 [SPEAKER_03]: It has been happening to me. 44:20.348 --> 44:21.009 [SPEAKER_04]: And every domain. 44:21.149 --> 44:22.770 [SPEAKER_04]: Through the entire process. 44:22.850 --> 44:26.173 [SPEAKER_04]: And marriage and fatherhood is certainly man. 44:27.214 --> 44:31.657 [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, with success in business, I think, you know, 44:34.005 --> 44:38.427 [SPEAKER_03]: there has been times that it's been difficult to navigate that success. 44:38.527 --> 44:47.710 [SPEAKER_03]: And especially with building a platform, I'm telling you what, man, building a social media platform is a dangerous thing for a Christian. 44:48.331 --> 44:54.693 [SPEAKER_03]: It is, it has been so hard to navigate because when you realize, there's a code 44:59.952 --> 45:03.653 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, a platform is built off of a personality. 45:03.793 --> 45:08.514 [SPEAKER_03]: In other words, I am putting, look, you can't get around this. 45:08.574 --> 45:11.115 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm sorry, you can't get around this. 45:11.175 --> 45:14.775 [SPEAKER_03]: You're building a platform based off of your personality. 45:14.855 --> 45:16.656 [SPEAKER_03]: People are drawn to you. 45:17.076 --> 45:18.736 [SPEAKER_03]: You understand how dangerous that is? 45:18.756 --> 45:19.736 [SPEAKER_03]: It's super dangerous, okay? 45:22.590 --> 45:29.512 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, and then you realize that there is a formula that you can use. 45:30.733 --> 45:35.635 [SPEAKER_03]: to grow your platform or in other words, manipulate people. 45:36.415 --> 45:40.717 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, that's how you grow your platform as you manipulate the masses. 45:41.597 --> 45:44.178 [SPEAKER_03]: You do that by being very polarizing. 45:44.718 --> 45:46.639 [SPEAKER_03]: That's what's part of the formula, right? 45:46.899 --> 45:48.740 [SPEAKER_03]: Because it plays on people's emotions. 45:49.200 --> 45:54.182 [SPEAKER_03]: You realize, if I can get people to either love me or hate me, either one is really good for me. 45:54.202 --> 45:55.142 [SPEAKER_03]: So I think, 46:00.042 --> 46:02.364 [SPEAKER_03]: going through that process. 46:02.404 --> 46:15.677 [SPEAKER_03]: There's been a lot of sanctification during that process by way of mistakes that I have made and times that I have really 46:17.387 --> 46:33.193 [SPEAKER_03]: Lost who I who Chad is in Christ and went hard into the formula that I knew I could leverage to manipulate people and grow my platform and 46:34.393 --> 46:49.172 [SPEAKER_03]: and then just being so convicted of that and by that decision that I've made over and over and over again and just getting torn down like and just grieved over. 46:49.973 --> 47:12.197 [SPEAKER_03]: the sin that is still in me that I can see coming out of me and not and and and all and too not honoring the fact that the Lord's given me the ability to have a voice that reaches millions of people and and that I would and that I would still 47:18.803 --> 47:21.226 [SPEAKER_03]: I just did it last week on the podcast, man. 47:21.927 --> 47:23.630 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, I still going through this. 47:23.650 --> 47:25.492 [SPEAKER_03]: I just did it last week, like, um, 47:26.580 --> 47:30.522 [SPEAKER_03]: You know, I said some things about a dude that I don't know the dude. 47:30.562 --> 47:32.223 [SPEAKER_03]: He may be, he may be legit. 47:32.483 --> 47:32.903 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know. 47:33.023 --> 47:34.464 [SPEAKER_03]: I said some things about a dude. 47:34.864 --> 47:36.425 [SPEAKER_03]: Y'all know who the dude is. 47:37.085 --> 47:39.246 [SPEAKER_03]: I won't say him here because this is Y'all's part. 47:39.286 --> 47:40.226 [SPEAKER_03]: Yes. 47:40.327 --> 47:43.848 [SPEAKER_03]: And I looked over him a little brother Blake and I said, you know what I'm taking the gloves off. 47:43.908 --> 47:46.429 [SPEAKER_03]: Now, I'm just saying what I want to say from now on. 47:46.830 --> 47:51.552 [SPEAKER_03]: He said, well, are you going to season what you say with a little love and a little salt? 47:52.030 --> 47:53.071 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, that's what Blake says. 47:53.091 --> 47:55.152 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and I said, come on, Blake, that's it. 47:55.172 --> 47:56.393 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I guess I'll win. 47:56.413 --> 47:57.114 [SPEAKER_04]: Dad going in. 47:57.314 --> 47:58.394 [SPEAKER_04]: Any brothers like that? 47:58.475 --> 48:01.317 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, man, I appreciate you sharing that. 48:01.697 --> 48:15.366 [SPEAKER_00]: That's very relatable and just to see that even in all this success, there are the pitfalls with it and also an opportunity to spot what still needs to grow, what still needs to be like crucified. 48:15.386 --> 48:15.687 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 48:16.427 --> 48:19.788 [SPEAKER_03]: And there's the opportunity to own up to it, absolutely. 48:19.848 --> 48:22.428 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's so powerful because not very many people do that. 48:22.668 --> 48:23.569 [SPEAKER_03]: I have tried. 48:23.709 --> 48:37.012 [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, I have tried my best, man, over the last six years, that when I do fall, like that, and it is revealed to me, and I'm convicted by it and of it. 48:38.312 --> 48:45.933 [SPEAKER_03]: I have tried my best to publicly say, man, I shouldn't have said that, guys. 48:45.973 --> 48:48.094 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's good, you know? 48:48.354 --> 48:54.475 [SPEAKER_04]: Well, it's, again, it's what makes you real and not the personality, right? 48:54.855 --> 48:57.555 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, like you, you show me a guy who won't do that. 48:58.155 --> 49:04.917 [SPEAKER_04]: I think I'm seeing a guy that cares more about the public persona and the image than he 49:07.157 --> 49:10.519 [SPEAKER_04]: caring about what the Lord thinks about his mouth. 49:10.719 --> 49:14.561 [SPEAKER_03]: I hope yes, and I buy God's grace. 49:14.601 --> 49:16.021 [SPEAKER_03]: I do think we've done that well. 49:16.282 --> 49:33.170 [SPEAKER_03]: I give an interview the other day on a podcast where I got pretty wild with some stuff and the dude that interviewed me said, hey, look, when we got done, he said, you know, if you said anything that you know, you think is going to be damaging to your brand or your image, like we can edit that out. 49:34.029 --> 49:39.185 [SPEAKER_03]: And I told Blake that the dude said that to me after the interview and he said he doesn't realize that that is the brand 49:41.870 --> 49:43.171 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I get that. 49:43.271 --> 49:45.853 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and it has limited our growth. 49:46.134 --> 49:46.894 [SPEAKER_03]: Sure. 49:46.994 --> 49:47.495 [SPEAKER_03]: Certainly. 49:47.755 --> 49:49.336 [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, we purge. 49:49.937 --> 49:52.439 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you need a good purge every once in a while. 49:52.459 --> 49:54.160 [SPEAKER_04]: You know, or you're not being clear. 49:54.861 --> 49:55.281 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 49:55.321 --> 49:58.383 [SPEAKER_04]: So clarity will create a purge, I think. 49:58.604 --> 50:02.227 [SPEAKER_04]: So you've got a couple of questions left. 50:03.608 --> 50:04.669 [SPEAKER_04]: One, I would love to know. 50:06.898 --> 50:17.145 [SPEAKER_04]: what you and Brooke are praying for in this season that no amount of discipline and hard work and high pain tolerance can produce in your lives. 50:18.946 --> 50:19.407 [SPEAKER_02]: Hmm. 50:25.511 --> 50:35.157 [SPEAKER_03]: I, I think that the, the major thing that we're praying for is, 50:40.132 --> 50:46.553 [SPEAKER_03]: I simply learning how to become mother and father, but at the same time has been in life. 50:46.593 --> 50:49.214 [SPEAKER_03]: We don't know how to navigate that. 50:49.694 --> 50:51.294 [SPEAKER_03]: And there's not there to me. 50:51.334 --> 50:56.295 [SPEAKER_03]: There's not like a disciplinary route to learn that. 50:56.616 --> 51:03.297 [SPEAKER_04]: You know what's funny when Audrey was born, Lauren and I were not in a good spot in our marriage. 51:03.337 --> 51:07.358 [SPEAKER_04]: So we weren't like at a great spot when Audrey came into the world. 51:08.238 --> 51:21.512 [SPEAKER_04]: And so what was easy for me to my shame was just to give my affection to Audrey and with hold it from Lauren, because she was like, I'm daddy. 51:22.710 --> 51:25.091 [SPEAKER_04]: and she there I could do no wrong. 51:25.612 --> 51:28.053 [SPEAKER_04]: I was the most amazing man in the universe. 51:28.693 --> 51:29.994 [SPEAKER_04]: I had no flaws. 51:30.674 --> 51:31.535 [SPEAKER_04]: I was daddy. 51:32.335 --> 51:40.599 [SPEAKER_04]: And so that pull you mentioned earlier where you're like, man, I could make this kid the center of my universe if I'm not careful. 51:41.299 --> 51:45.722 [SPEAKER_04]: I felt in spades in those days because we weren't doing 51:46.982 --> 51:58.446 [SPEAKER_04]: And I could do no wrong with this little girl, like she could see where the Lord needed to grow me and cut some things off of me and help me with this little girl. 51:58.506 --> 51:59.707 [SPEAKER_04]: She couldn't see any of that yet. 52:00.427 --> 52:03.088 [SPEAKER_04]: And so that was a, that dance that you're talking about. 52:03.128 --> 52:06.369 [SPEAKER_04]: How do we be husband and wife and mother and father? 52:07.149 --> 52:08.370 [SPEAKER_04]: I think was harder. 52:09.410 --> 52:22.361 [SPEAKER_04]: mainly for me in that season, maybe for you, but I know I was feeling it where this was so easy and this was so difficult that we had to work through that and the Lord was kind. 52:22.601 --> 52:23.122 [SPEAKER_03]: Good night. 52:23.142 --> 52:24.743 [SPEAKER_03]: Have y'all told that story in depth. 52:25.363 --> 52:26.164 [SPEAKER_04]: That's a good question. 52:26.184 --> 52:27.445 [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know that aspect. 52:27.845 --> 52:30.867 [SPEAKER_04]: We have talked in depth about our first seven years. 52:30.907 --> 52:31.728 [SPEAKER_04]: We're brutal. 52:31.748 --> 52:32.769 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. 52:32.889 --> 52:35.190 [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, a collision of two backgrounds. 52:36.091 --> 52:40.834 [SPEAKER_04]: I've said publicly like I came in with a locomotive of baggage. 52:41.555 --> 52:45.418 [SPEAKER_04]: And Lauren came in with like a little carry on back and a baggage. 52:45.438 --> 52:47.099 [SPEAKER_04]: But it was like a Mary Poppins bag. 52:47.159 --> 52:48.960 [SPEAKER_04]: You know, it's like she just it was deep. 52:48.980 --> 52:51.862 [SPEAKER_04]: You could keep pulling stuff out of it, but I came in. 52:52.923 --> 53:01.107 [SPEAKER_04]: really knowing what I didn't want, more than I understood what God was calling me to, anti-vision is what I came in with. 53:01.167 --> 53:02.407 [SPEAKER_04]: I don't want my parents' marriage. 53:03.868 --> 53:04.568 [SPEAKER_04]: That's not what I want. 53:04.608 --> 53:10.631 [SPEAKER_04]: I'm not going to do it that way, but I hadn't steeped in the text and 53:12.048 --> 53:15.669 [SPEAKER_04]: got a vision from the Lord of what marriage was even supposed to be. 53:16.309 --> 53:24.272 [SPEAKER_04]: So I had all these kind of worldly visions of what it was supposed to be. 53:24.312 --> 53:27.293 [SPEAKER_04]: And I was bringing those to bear on sweet Lauren. 53:27.753 --> 53:31.774 [SPEAKER_04]: And I don't think Lauren had a vision for what marriage was supposed to be in Christ. 53:31.794 --> 53:33.695 [SPEAKER_04]: And so those seven years were brutal. 53:34.276 --> 53:36.659 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, that sounds like a podcast series, right? 53:36.679 --> 53:47.414 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, we have talked about it a ton, because I don't think it does anybody any good for me to wear cape and have some backstory where I nailed everything because I certainly haven't. 53:48.115 --> 53:50.057 [SPEAKER_04]: And even in this season, being sanctified. 53:50.158 --> 53:51.019 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, but closer. 53:51.640 --> 53:59.344 [SPEAKER_03]: I'll give you a simpler example of that, of kind of the struggle, very simple example. 54:00.224 --> 54:11.169 [SPEAKER_03]: I find myself laying in the bed with my wife at night while Solomon is breastfeeding and getting himself ready to go to sleep because that's the path we've chosen. 54:11.249 --> 54:12.110 [SPEAKER_03]: He sleeps with us. 54:17.053 --> 54:18.634 [SPEAKER_03]: and not looking at my wife. 54:18.895 --> 54:19.735 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, yeah. 54:19.835 --> 54:22.498 [SPEAKER_03]: But I'm like, you know, I feel that tension. 54:22.598 --> 54:25.440 [SPEAKER_03]: I just, that's just a very simple example of that tension. 54:25.881 --> 54:26.161 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 54:26.181 --> 54:30.845 [SPEAKER_03]: Where I say, no, I should probably look my wife in the eyes right now. 54:31.205 --> 54:32.827 [SPEAKER_03]: And talk to her. 54:32.987 --> 54:34.068 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 54:34.228 --> 54:38.532 [SPEAKER_03]: But I'm so distracted by this new thing, you know? 54:38.932 --> 54:39.092 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. 54:39.152 --> 54:41.014 [SPEAKER_04]: And y'all look, I mean, you'll figure it out. 54:41.034 --> 54:42.995 [SPEAKER_04]: I've just got all the confidence in the world you will. 54:43.035 --> 54:44.477 [SPEAKER_04]: But that was certainly a, 54:46.086 --> 54:46.566 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I don't know. 54:46.627 --> 54:49.709 [SPEAKER_04]: I don't even know that I would call it a pain point at the time. 54:49.729 --> 54:52.992 [SPEAKER_04]: I didn't even know. 54:53.012 --> 54:55.214 [SPEAKER_04]: I think I would it would take a while before I learned. 54:55.495 --> 54:56.676 [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, you know what I'm doing right now? 54:56.716 --> 54:57.537 [SPEAKER_04]: That's really dumb. 54:58.462 --> 55:21.023 [SPEAKER_04]: Like I'm giving this little girl my heart while withholding my heart from my wife and that's going to end in a really bad way so I need to repent of that so you realize that and turn my attention and focus well we the Lord gave us a little break through and the breakthrough was you know I was just like. 55:23.790 --> 55:26.813 [SPEAKER_04]: Lauren Strucker, this is public information, so I'm not sharing her business. 55:27.394 --> 55:29.956 [SPEAKER_04]: Lauren Strucker was people pleasing in perfectionism. 55:30.917 --> 55:34.080 [SPEAKER_04]: I don't, I have almost no people, please, or in me. 55:35.361 --> 55:37.383 [SPEAKER_04]: And not even really perfectionized want to win. 55:38.424 --> 55:40.546 [SPEAKER_04]: You know, that was my besetting sin, I've got to win. 55:41.687 --> 55:49.673 [SPEAKER_04]: and I've got to build, I've got to achieve, I've got to, yeah, I think the lie in my heart was like, I'm useful, but not necessarily lovable. 55:50.253 --> 55:56.497 [SPEAKER_04]: So as long as I can be useful, then I'm mad or here's where Jesus had to gospel me, right? 55:56.637 --> 56:00.260 [SPEAKER_04]: Had to go, hey, you've believed the gospel into salvation, but 56:05.323 --> 56:07.304 [SPEAKER_04]: that my love's sufficient for you. 56:07.964 --> 56:09.185 [SPEAKER_04]: You don't need anybody else's love. 56:09.205 --> 56:10.085 [SPEAKER_04]: You need my love. 56:10.105 --> 56:14.867 [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm gonna bless you with the love of others, but my love's the one that holds you. 56:15.808 --> 56:21.751 [SPEAKER_04]: And so I kept thinking, everything else I touched turned to gold, but this wasn't turning to gold. 56:21.771 --> 56:23.531 [SPEAKER_04]: So that's obviously Lawrence Fault. 56:24.272 --> 56:29.074 [SPEAKER_04]: So if Lauren would just do what I'm telling her to do, then we would be great. 56:29.094 --> 56:29.654 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, yeah. 56:29.714 --> 56:32.776 [SPEAKER_04]: And because she's people pleasing in perfectionism, she was thinking, 56:33.617 --> 56:34.277 [SPEAKER_00]: What did I do? 56:34.598 --> 56:36.939 [SPEAKER_04]: If I could just do, what do you want me to do? 56:37.840 --> 56:41.783 [SPEAKER_04]: And so that was the big hot mess we were in for seven years. 56:41.803 --> 56:44.285 [SPEAKER_04]: But really five, and then two to grow out. 56:44.445 --> 56:46.146 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 56:46.406 --> 56:48.167 [SPEAKER_04]: And then every once in a while, that'll flare now. 56:48.207 --> 56:49.388 [SPEAKER_04]: But we understand what it is. 56:49.428 --> 56:53.971 [SPEAKER_03]: And can that's a long season to be in that man seven years. 56:54.192 --> 56:54.932 [SPEAKER_04]: It's a long time. 56:54.952 --> 56:56.153 [SPEAKER_00]: It was, it was hard. 56:56.173 --> 56:57.674 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it was a hard thing. 56:57.774 --> 57:02.417 [SPEAKER_04]: Long and I think more disorienting than hard. 57:03.878 --> 57:09.344 [SPEAKER_04]: Um, but I guess those two things could be the same thing, but more like neither was could figure out. 57:09.464 --> 57:14.469 [SPEAKER_04]: We did love each other and we did deeply love Jesus and we were leaning into the covenant. 57:14.509 --> 57:17.752 [SPEAKER_04]: Come what may like there wasn't any nobody was going anywhere. 57:18.561 --> 57:22.624 [SPEAKER_04]: But there were these moments of like laying and bed and going, oh my god, is this the rest of my life? 57:22.964 --> 57:23.544 [SPEAKER_03]: Mm-hmm, yeah. 57:23.704 --> 57:26.366 [SPEAKER_04]: Is this going to be the rest of my life and by his grace, not at all? 57:26.386 --> 57:26.626 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. 57:27.146 --> 57:30.168 [SPEAKER_04]: But in that season, we were both, we felt stuck. 57:30.328 --> 57:31.309 [SPEAKER_04]: Didn't know how to get out of it. 57:31.829 --> 57:32.870 [SPEAKER_04]: Then the Lord was gracious. 57:33.410 --> 57:35.191 [SPEAKER_03]: So... That's a awesome test of money. 57:35.392 --> 57:36.412 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. 57:36.833 --> 57:41.776 [SPEAKER_04]: I've got one more question as we kind of land the plane because I would be fascinated by this. 57:42.595 --> 57:48.520 [SPEAKER_04]: What does like a normal boring Tuesday look like in the right house? 57:48.560 --> 57:53.244 [SPEAKER_04]: Like no ministry opportunity, no race, no, like you, you. 57:53.264 --> 57:53.824 [SPEAKER_04]: You haven't met. 57:54.605 --> 57:58.988 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, no, no, with with Solomon, like what's the normal? 57:59.008 --> 58:01.650 [SPEAKER_04]: So the way I word it is, when there's no micro planes. 58:01.730 --> 58:05.754 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, no microphone, no event, no race, no ministry opportunity. 58:05.774 --> 58:10.938 [SPEAKER_04]: What does following Jesus look like in the right house on an absolutely ordinary Tuesday? 58:11.866 --> 58:12.246 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 58:12.927 --> 58:18.451 [SPEAKER_03]: Um, yeah, three and a half months ago, a normal day in the right house, what it looked totally different. 58:18.491 --> 58:31.542 [SPEAKER_03]: And that's that's really the version I would like to give, but I'm not going to give that version because that that version would have been, you know, a lot more structured, probably a lot more pretty and in that type of stuff. 58:31.622 --> 58:35.225 [SPEAKER_03]: So, uh, a normal day is, 58:36.826 --> 58:43.332 [SPEAKER_03]: when when so when Solomon gets to the point at night that he's kind of getting shifty and he doesn't want to sleep anymore. 58:43.952 --> 58:45.834 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm going to wake up, take him out of the bed. 58:45.874 --> 58:53.941 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm going to take him into the living room and I'm going to spend the entire rest of the well, it would be morning by that time too. 58:54.261 --> 58:55.742 [SPEAKER_03]: From maybe two to three a.m. 58:55.822 --> 58:57.604 [SPEAKER_03]: I think this morning it was about three a.m. 58:57.644 --> 58:58.645 [SPEAKER_03]: I took him into living room. 58:59.345 --> 59:14.598 [SPEAKER_03]: We hung out, we knat, we get up when he wants to be up and then when the sun starts to break, we go out in the yard, we do our walk before the heat gets up and I pray with Solomon out there. 59:15.779 --> 59:17.521 [SPEAKER_03]: We are going to read some 59:19.462 --> 59:28.066 [SPEAKER_03]: And my I do that so that my wife can get some rest and so she usually gets up about eight o'clock in the morning when she wakes up. 59:28.106 --> 59:29.446 [SPEAKER_03]: He's ready to feed by then. 59:30.366 --> 59:32.607 [SPEAKER_03]: And Solomon gets a feed. 59:32.787 --> 59:34.528 [SPEAKER_03]: I make breakfast for the family. 59:35.528 --> 59:43.972 [SPEAKER_03]: And we eat breakfast this morning and most mornings we try to then also pray together all three of us. 59:44.912 --> 59:48.676 [SPEAKER_03]: We'll read some short scripture in the living room there this morning. 59:48.716 --> 01:00:07.912 [SPEAKER_03]: We actually read the Beatitudes this morning and read the the first chapter of John this morning together and pray together and then we have to if we're not we're not going anywhere we determine who's going to take the first nap session because that's about that's about to 01:00:08.773 --> 01:00:12.917 [SPEAKER_03]: two and a half hours long and he's pretty hard to sleep right now. 01:00:13.117 --> 01:00:16.340 [SPEAKER_03]: So he's got to be in a carrier or a rock or something like that. 01:00:17.301 --> 01:00:22.046 [SPEAKER_03]: And so we'll go into that and the other person gets some free time, right? 01:00:22.106 --> 01:00:25.589 [SPEAKER_03]: And that might be me or Brooke, depending on where we're at that day. 01:00:28.111 --> 01:00:30.273 [SPEAKER_03]: As we move through the day, 01:00:31.074 --> 01:00:34.936 [SPEAKER_03]: We don't generally do a big lunch or anything like that. 01:00:35.236 --> 01:00:38.618 [SPEAKER_03]: We try to get out and get a hike in at least sometime. 01:00:39.179 --> 01:00:43.381 [SPEAKER_03]: In midday, we're blessed to live on a big property with trails and woods. 01:00:43.461 --> 01:00:44.581 [SPEAKER_03]: And there's nobody around us. 01:00:44.602 --> 01:00:46.122 [SPEAKER_03]: We can walk straight out of our door. 01:00:46.863 --> 01:00:49.644 [SPEAKER_03]: Get a hike in, bring the dogs with us. 01:00:50.285 --> 01:00:51.125 [SPEAKER_03]: Enjoy that. 01:00:52.426 --> 01:00:55.828 [SPEAKER_03]: In the evening, we always cook. 01:00:56.448 --> 01:00:58.010 [SPEAKER_03]: we very rarely eat out. 01:00:58.210 --> 01:01:07.879 [SPEAKER_03]: So here, lightly, I've been doing most of the dinners at night, most of the cooking and cooked dinner. 01:01:08.620 --> 01:01:10.601 [SPEAKER_03]: And then we start our evening routine with Solomon. 01:01:10.661 --> 01:01:13.004 [SPEAKER_03]: After we dinner after that, we go out. 01:01:13.064 --> 01:01:16.127 [SPEAKER_03]: We probably do another small hike or walk. 01:01:17.154 --> 01:01:40.241 [SPEAKER_03]: uh... Brooke will uh... get the shower ready would give him uh... his bath then we take him back outside and we pro-long bedtime for as long as we possibly can uh... but usually by about seven thirty yeah he's ready to bed down and uh... Brooke goes ahead takes him in the room i tidy up all the chores in the house get coffee ready for the morning 01:01:41.181 --> 01:01:57.219 [SPEAKER_03]: Um, do whatever needs to be done, lock all the doors and come in there with her and usually I'll read again to them that that evening before it gets too dark in the room that I can't see the letters on the pages and we're almost always reading something from the Bible. 01:01:58.160 --> 01:02:04.446 [SPEAKER_03]: Um, we've been out of the habit of praying with each other in the evenings for some reason. 01:02:04.486 --> 01:02:13.214 [SPEAKER_03]: We just fell out of that habit, but I looked at Brooke last night and I said, there's no reason we shouldn't be praying with each other every evening before we go to sleep here. 01:02:13.254 --> 01:02:16.758 [SPEAKER_03]: So yeah, we got to restarted that last night. 01:02:17.118 --> 01:02:17.819 [SPEAKER_03]: And, uh, 01:02:18.499 --> 01:02:25.888 [SPEAKER_03]: And then we just we drift off the sleep and I general like to read a lot at night. 01:02:25.988 --> 01:02:34.078 [SPEAKER_03]: So once her and Solomon go to sleep, I will sometimes stay up and read for another hour or two hours. 01:02:34.619 --> 01:02:37.081 [SPEAKER_03]: I enjoy the reading novels at night. 01:02:37.101 --> 01:02:38.363 [SPEAKER_03]: So my favorite authors 01:02:38.443 --> 01:02:39.063 [SPEAKER_03]: lose Lamor. 01:02:39.344 --> 01:02:39.984 [SPEAKER_03]: Come on. 01:02:40.164 --> 01:02:44.987 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm usually reading something from Lewis Lamor because for me, that's like watching a movie. 01:02:45.027 --> 01:02:46.308 [SPEAKER_03]: We don't watch a lot of TV. 01:02:47.349 --> 01:02:52.212 [SPEAKER_03]: Maybe we'll turn a show on while we eat, but that's only because my wife can't stand to hear me chew food. 01:02:52.892 --> 01:02:54.053 [SPEAKER_03]: So it's just a background. 01:02:54.093 --> 01:02:55.294 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that's a problem. 01:02:55.314 --> 01:02:56.615 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that's a problem. 01:02:56.715 --> 01:02:57.996 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that's true. 01:02:58.016 --> 01:03:01.558 [SPEAKER_04]: Sometimes I can just feel or stare at me and I'm like, I don't know what to do here. 01:03:01.978 --> 01:03:04.060 [SPEAKER_04]: You made something that crunches. 01:03:04.820 --> 01:03:06.281 [SPEAKER_04]: What am I supposed to do? 01:03:06.502 --> 01:03:10.224 [SPEAKER_04]: You got to sit on the other side of the stream and turn the feed outside please. 01:03:10.465 --> 01:03:23.415 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, that's hilarious So that's an I mean, that's the most honest version of an average day at the house right now in there's nothing exciting about it I have put 01:03:24.531 --> 01:03:48.783 [SPEAKER_03]: my fitness on a lower on a bottom tier right now at this season in my life okay we're still eating healthy right we're still hiking we're still moving our bodies but you know if the day allows me to run or get a mountain bike riding or lift some weights if the day allows that then then that happens 01:03:53.945 --> 01:03:56.346 [SPEAKER_04]: Well, man, it's been so good getting to know you a little bit here. 01:03:56.486 --> 01:03:58.547 [SPEAKER_04]: Like I said, I've been watching you online. 01:03:58.567 --> 01:03:59.508 [SPEAKER_04]: This was a weird one for me. 01:03:59.528 --> 01:04:00.668 [SPEAKER_04]: I was like, I feel like I know this guy. 01:04:00.708 --> 01:04:01.649 [SPEAKER_04]: I've never actually met him. 01:04:01.989 --> 01:04:03.370 [SPEAKER_04]: So I've heard stories. 01:04:03.470 --> 01:04:04.270 [SPEAKER_04]: Thank you. 01:04:04.470 --> 01:04:11.534 [SPEAKER_04]: So thanks for hopping on between Sundays with Lauren and I and we're sad that we couldn't join us, but maybe sometime in the future. 01:04:11.854 --> 01:04:13.195 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, yeah, that would be great. 01:04:13.255 --> 01:04:22.940 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, thank you guys for your generosity for being here with us and giving me this opportunity to share with you guys wonderful questions and I enjoyed the conversation. 01:04:23.340 --> 01:04:24.421 [SPEAKER_01]: All right, God bless.