[SPEAKER_00]: I want you to turn to Rumschapter 12 and we have just finished the gift to the Holy Spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going into these pithy little statements that are like bullet points from Paul.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to entitle this section, family expectations, family expectations.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because in every family,
[SPEAKER_00]: There are implicit expectations, explicit expectations, ones that are voiced over and over again by your parents, and then just others that you just simply grew up knowing.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's family culture, it's like, this is what our family does, this is who we are.
[SPEAKER_00]: And family culture remains invisible to us until we get married.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we realize that there are different cultures coming together and your spouse looks at you inquisitively and wonders like,
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are we doing that?
[SPEAKER_00]: And why do you always do it that way?
[SPEAKER_00]: These are culture clashes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Each family celebrates differently.
[SPEAKER_00]: Each family communicates differently.
[SPEAKER_00]: Each family upkeep's the home different, argues different, maintains vehicles differently.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like in my house, I'm all about, hey, we got to clean the outside.
[SPEAKER_00]: My wife's about vacuuming the inside.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, wait, it looks good outside.
[SPEAKER_00]: But she has to have it, it's got to be clean on the inside too.
[SPEAKER_00]: Each family has, like, their own set of values, like our family knows how to work hard.
[SPEAKER_00]: Or our family always finishes what we start.
[SPEAKER_00]: Our family values reading and formal education.
[SPEAKER_00]: Our family is really good at sports.
[SPEAKER_00]: Our family is an artsy family.
[SPEAKER_00]: Our family talk about everything.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, our family ignores our conversations.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, there are cultures that come into play.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, not long after Betsy and I were married, we realized that we had different expectations of vacation.
[SPEAKER_00]: Her father was a college professor with whole summers off, and he would use them to go recruit travel all over and recruit new students.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, Betsy spent time all over the place, you know, driving to these places.
[SPEAKER_00]: So her vacation time was extended.
[SPEAKER_00]: For the Durks household, my father also was an educator with summers off, but he would use them to get financially ahead.
[SPEAKER_00]: So he was always working.
[SPEAKER_00]: one vacation or maybe an overnight fishing trip but nothing strong together and the first years of our marriage necessitated a melding of cultures.
[SPEAKER_00]: My wife had the better idea of extending vacations which I have adopted.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's why we go a little longer away from and then we come back.
[SPEAKER_00]: Romans 12, this section is addressing how we are to get induct ourselves as a church, as a larger family.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not just an organization, we are a family to belong to, because that's how the Bible talks about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's a lot of families joining to form one family, the family of God, and Paul is laying out in this section, family expectations.
[SPEAKER_00]: So here's the section we're in.
[SPEAKER_00]: Romans chapter 12 verse 9 and 10.
[SPEAKER_00]: Those two verses, listen to it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let love be genuine.
[SPEAKER_00]: Uphor what is evil, hold fast to what is good.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love one another with brotherly affection, outdo one another in showing honor.
[SPEAKER_00]: Those are five things.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I've got five things in my outline, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: For us to look at, it's important to think of a church as a home, not a hotel.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a difference because when I go to a hotel, I have expectations, and needs to be prepared for me, and needs to be clean, and needs to be nice, and they need to serve me, because I've purchased this, you know, I've rented this spot, you know, and I want it to be good, and if it's not good, I'm going to complain to the manager.
[SPEAKER_00]: In a home, I'm given responsibilities to carry.
[SPEAKER_00]: See, I want you to think about the church.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, you know, me, my staff need to do what we need to do and we need to get the job done.
[SPEAKER_00]: However, I want you when you come to look at it as a home and instead of asking the church to meet your expectations, ask yourself, am I living up to God's family expectations that He has upon us all?
[SPEAKER_00]: And what are they?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, Paul lists them out in bullet points.
[SPEAKER_00]: But let me back up, even before I get to him, because I've just laid out the five, what are we doing?
[SPEAKER_00]: We come together every week.
[SPEAKER_00]: And what are we coming together?
[SPEAKER_00]: We sing some songs.
[SPEAKER_00]: John gives a message.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, we're coming together because our lives have been, or we pray that your life has been transformed by the Holy Spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we come together because we need to hear God's word and remind ourselves of His expectations.
[SPEAKER_00]: But we also come together because we have a part to play in the maturation of one another, growing up, is a community project.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you and I have responsibility to one another.
[SPEAKER_00]: It has to be always in mind, because we have other things we could be doing on a Sunday morning.
[SPEAKER_00]: But we come together because in this world, the world is like a competing force.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we have to thank God, what do you want from me?
[SPEAKER_00]: And we are on mission together.
[SPEAKER_00]: He could take us up immediately when we get saved.
[SPEAKER_00]: But he keeps us here because together were better.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we are stronger together.
[SPEAKER_00]: We are out getting the word out, declaring Jesus, developing Jesus followers.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the whole point.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, as we talk about our life together, here are the points.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here are the family expectations.
[SPEAKER_00]: Number one, love without hypocrisy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love without hypocrisy.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can almost hear it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can hear it in the Greek word here.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's an apakritas, apakritas.
[SPEAKER_00]: You hear the hypocrisy in that word.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's love without hypocrisy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love, a god bed, that's a Greek.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a devoted love.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love without hypocrisy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why does Paul say it that way?
[SPEAKER_00]: Love without hypocrisy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, the reality is every before us.
[SPEAKER_00]: When you look at the gospels, there was one individual of the 12 that heard all the teaching of Jesus saw all the miracles and at the end betrayed the Son of God with a kiss.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not what a kiss is for.
[SPEAKER_00]: That is hypocritical love.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's acting like you're an intimate, beloved friend,
[SPEAKER_00]: And the other disciples, they didn't see it coming.
[SPEAKER_00]: They did not see it coming.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, when Jesus was talking about the one who would betray him and John chapter 13, 14, so when they're there, they didn't all turn to Judas.
[SPEAKER_00]: What they asked is, is it I, Lord, is it me?
[SPEAKER_00]: So when did Jesus know, when did Judas know himself?
[SPEAKER_00]: betraying."
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: He wasn't trying to pretend at least at the beginning the entire time, but at some point he realized that his profession didn't line up what was going on in his heart.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if that can happen to one of the 12, it can happen to us.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now that being said, I don't think Paul wants us to be scrutinizing the legitimacy of our faith constantly.
[SPEAKER_00]: That is a hamster wheel.
[SPEAKER_00]: And those with a sensitive conscience, you're gonna twist yourself all the way up if you're not careful.
[SPEAKER_00]: Those with a durable conscience, you sometimes don't even think about that.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's love without hypocrisy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, what does that mean, John?
[SPEAKER_00]: Will love is more than feelings,
[SPEAKER_00]: So this love is a committed, covenantal love.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're in it together, kind of love.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's harder to fake.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's harder to fake.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because imposters that usually bounce, they hit the crash bar and exit.
[SPEAKER_00]: Nevertheless, Paul wants us to consider.
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, this is the purity of our love.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it forces us to find refuge in the grace of God.
[SPEAKER_00]: No one of us is going to love God purely perfectly.
[SPEAKER_00]: There are times when you look at, I look at myself and I'm going forward.
[SPEAKER_00]: What's up with me, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Why am I attracted like that?
[SPEAKER_00]: Why am I wanting to go this way when you want me to go that way?
[SPEAKER_00]: And you can twist yourself up pretty quickly.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I, in those moments, I have to confess my sin.
[SPEAKER_00]: But you can get discouraged.
[SPEAKER_00]: But the Lord wants you to keep going back.
[SPEAKER_00]: Unless the Lord keeps me and holds me and protects me all the way through.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have a chance.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're throwing yourself back on the grace of God.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's helpful, help me, Lord.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's going to start with God's love toward us so that we can love him.
[SPEAKER_00]: back, love without hypocrisy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Secondly, hate, evil.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hate, evil.
[SPEAKER_00]: Verse 9, uses this word, we don't usually word, use a bore, a poor.
[SPEAKER_00]: What does that word?
[SPEAKER_00]: Be repulsed by evil.
[SPEAKER_00]: Be repulsed.
[SPEAKER_00]: There
[SPEAKER_00]: Because right after, like, love without hypocrisy, these two bullets, it says, hey, evil, cling to what is good, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's kind of like trying to explain this pure love, because it's opposite sides of the coin.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love has contours.
[SPEAKER_00]: If,
[SPEAKER_00]: It hates evil, it clings to the good.
[SPEAKER_00]: It hates evil, it clings to the good outlined by God.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, love defined in the world is not the love necessarily that God is talking about, because some of those definitions are love is love.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love is love, meaning you don't have to define it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is whatever I feel it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's problematic.
[SPEAKER_00]: or love is affirmation that you will affirm.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you love me, you're going to affirm my decisions and my self-expression, but love must be an accordance with the law of God.
[SPEAKER_00]: You cannot contrast law and love as if love replaces law.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's muddled thinking.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me help you out a little bit.
[SPEAKER_00]: Law is the tracks or the path on which love must run.
[SPEAKER_00]: When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, he said, love the Lord your God with all your heart soul in mind, it's Matthew 22, and love your neighbor as you love yourself.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're going to love God, you gotta know something about God.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, you got to love him the way he wants to be loved.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to know what he hates and what he loves and match it, align your life with that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love runs down the tracks and the path of God's love.
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen to the scripture.
[SPEAKER_00]: Jesus says in John chapter 14, verse 21, whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's defining love as keeping his commands.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it can't be whatever you think it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: It can't be love is love.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's defined by God's love.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because the law, it's defined by God's law.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because the law actually is, helps us understand what God loves and what He hates.
[SPEAKER_00]: It has, that's what I mean by, love has shape and contour outlined in the Bible.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you go back to that first point.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love without hypocrisy.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a love defined by God.
[SPEAKER_00]: A love that hates what God hates.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love's what God loves.
[SPEAKER_00]: If that sounds strange, think of it this way.
[SPEAKER_00]: Someone who loves his spouse is going to hate whatever separates him from this spouse.
[SPEAKER_00]: Someone who loves truth is going to hate lies or deception.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's that way.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's the definition of love.
[SPEAKER_00]: Loving what, it's the definition of holiness, I should say, it's loving what God loves and hating what He hates.
[SPEAKER_00]: Think about, do you see how Paul is getting at the affectional part of us, the factions?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not just doing the right things, but hating and loving the right things.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's hooking all the wiring up behind the actions.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to ask you, do you hate what God hates?
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me get real practical.
[SPEAKER_00]: We should be careful what we're entertained by.
[SPEAKER_00]: Videos, movies, music, podcasts, photos, should you be entertained by?
[SPEAKER_00]: Should you laugh at what grieves the heart of God?
[SPEAKER_00]: Just think about your intake.
[SPEAKER_00]: If we're supposed to hate what God hates, love what God loves, we have to be careful what we're entertained.
[SPEAKER_00]: We should not be laughing at things that grieve the heart of God.
[SPEAKER_00]: And should we be thrilled by what God considers sinful?
[SPEAKER_00]: If you want to love without hypocrisy, be careful not to dull your heavenly senses.
[SPEAKER_00]: First, John chapter two, verse 15 and 16, do not love the world or the things of the world.
[SPEAKER_00]: If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in Him.
[SPEAKER_00]: For all that is in the world, the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes, the pride of life is not from the Father, but it's from the world.
[SPEAKER_00]: Crazy thing?
[SPEAKER_00]: Paul, when a Paul's companions travel all over the world with him, was a man named Demis,
[SPEAKER_00]: because he fell in love with the present world first Timothy 410.
[SPEAKER_00]: He fell in love with the present world.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I say to all of us brothers and sisters, tune up the discordant, the out of alignment affections within you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hate with God hates.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now number three, it's love with God loves.
[SPEAKER_00]: cleave to the good.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you love one, you'll hate the other really.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know it doesn't set right with the spirit of the age, but because love is love and let people determine reality for themselves and we need no borders or definitions that just is restriction, that's oppressive.
[SPEAKER_00]: Tolerance is like the highest virtue today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Except when it isn't, and then they start riots, set things on fire and loot, the shops, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because they do have some right and wrongs.
[SPEAKER_00]: They love certain things and hate certain things.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just think it's better when you align them to God's word, when you align them to God.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it says we ought to cleave to the good.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a good outline by God.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that word cling, cleave, the Greek word conveys this idea of sticking two pieces of wood together with glue.
[SPEAKER_00]: And when it dries, it's impossible to tear apart, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Submit yourself, join, fasten, bind yourself so firmly to the good that you can't be torn away.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, I mean, it's talking about new habits.
[SPEAKER_00]: new habits.
[SPEAKER_00]: Holyness is not simply letting go of evil, but grabbing a hold of the good, godly things.
[SPEAKER_00]: So what are they?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure you can imagine what they are.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me say it in categories.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's three that I'm going to give you.
[SPEAKER_00]: It means you need to have good thoughts, cleaving, clinging to good thoughts, because it starts.
[SPEAKER_00]: After you become a Christian, remember, Romans chapter 12, how it starts, give yourself a sacrifice yourself as a living sacrifice, or give yourself as a, how does it start?
[SPEAKER_00]: Therefore, help me.
[SPEAKER_00]: do not be conformed with the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
[SPEAKER_00]: So there needs to be a renewing of mind.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a recalibrate.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why you're in the Word of God.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why you're coming.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a recalibrate because the world is going in one direction.
[SPEAKER_00]: And God's people, they're going a different direction.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're oriented differently.
[SPEAKER_00]: They have a different values and thinkings.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we have to have our minds refreshed and new.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the blessed man, according to Psalm 1, is the man who meditates on God's law day and night.
[SPEAKER_00]: So thinking, you have to have good thoughts.
[SPEAKER_00]: Cleve to good thoughts.
[SPEAKER_00]: Remember, I think Philippians 4-8, whatever is good and pure and right, you know, let's go on.
[SPEAKER_00]: Think on these things, because this is where the battle lies.
[SPEAKER_00]: The second one, I would say, is good friends and mentors.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to be like your closest friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you like where they're going, then stick with those friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you do not like where they're going in their value system, you will have a hard time.
[SPEAKER_00]: You need to find other friends that are going in the same direction.
[SPEAKER_00]: One's that are going to help you encourage you, set a good direction, because it says in Proverbs 13, 20,
[SPEAKER_00]: becomes wise.
[SPEAKER_00]: So good thoughts, good friends, good habits, seek first the kingdom and his righteousness.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a pursuit, good habits that's Matthew 633.
[SPEAKER_00]: And really, you think about that, there's only one who's done that perfectly, Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: only one who has pursued those three things perfectly because he loved without a hypocrisy demonstrating it in his blood on the cross.
[SPEAKER_00]: No love is greater than giving your life for another person or your friend he was giving it for his enemies.
[SPEAKER_00]: So he lifted out, he hated the evil by taking care of it in death.
[SPEAKER_00]: He rescues us from judgment day, how when we trust and his life, death, and resurrection.
[SPEAKER_00]: When we do that, his perfect obedience gets transferred to us, so in the judgment day.
[SPEAKER_00]: in the day of judgment.
[SPEAKER_00]: Christ's perfect perfection counts for us.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now think about what that does.
[SPEAKER_00]: If we're not worried and frightened and need to do a lot of things in order to get to heaven, Christ has already done that for us, and we believe it by faith.
[SPEAKER_00]: That frees us up, releases us to love Him without fear.
[SPEAKER_00]: It propels us to do the good that pleases Him.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not worried that we have enough in the tank or enough in enough good works in our category.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, we're trusting in Jesus, that frees us up.
[SPEAKER_00]: The more you think about that, the more your works are propelled by Christ's righteousness, already upon you, believe her, the more you're gonna find your life being changed.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, it is love without hypocrisy, hate evil,
[SPEAKER_00]: cleave to the good, forth the love affectionately.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love, affectionately, verse 10, love one another with brotherly affection.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, most of you know that the Greek has four different words for love.
[SPEAKER_00]: We only use one love.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then we've got to determine what do you mean.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, in the Greek there's four different words.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the one we looked at first love without hypocrisy is this Committal, covenantal.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sticking to you to the end kind of love.
[SPEAKER_00]: This particular love,
[SPEAKER_00]: This brotherly affection actually is a love of that a family shares, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, it uses the word Philadelphia.
[SPEAKER_00]: love of the brothers, it actually means that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Literally means that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, I was reading a book this summer that kind of differentiated between these three words.
[SPEAKER_00]: Benevolence, beneficence, beneficence, and complacence.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, we think of complacence completely different.
[SPEAKER_00]: The old way is a little, this is what it is like.
[SPEAKER_00]: Benevolence is having good will toward all men.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: Beneficence is you're doing good for certain people because you can't do it for everybody.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're doing it good for certain people.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's beneficence.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's acting.
[SPEAKER_00]: Complacence, at least in the old way of understanding, was the delightful, preferential love that you would give to family members.
[SPEAKER_00]: or your children, or your community.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you see Paul is king in on this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Paul wants us to give complacent, preferential, brotherly love to the family of faith, that you would prioritize this group.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is Redeemer, at least for us, it's Redeemer that we are to love with brotherly affection, sisterly affection, these people.
[SPEAKER_00]: Can you do that?
[SPEAKER_00]: Look around.
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you do that?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, affections.
[SPEAKER_00]: Does that mean I need to cry more?
[SPEAKER_00]: Or I need to squeeze people a little harder?
[SPEAKER_00]: What does that mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: Or touch their shoulder?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, not necessarily.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, affections come from thinking and understanding that these are people that you look around.
[SPEAKER_00]: Believers share the same spiritual womb.
[SPEAKER_00]: We are born of the spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: We are born at the spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: We are adopted into the same family.
[SPEAKER_00]: That should matter.
[SPEAKER_00]: We should think about it differently when we come to church.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're related to, in a sense, through Christ's blood, which to me is pretty tight.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, some of you will really believe, really,
[SPEAKER_00]: You'll really be thankful just because your family, there's not a lot of love that you may be estranged to your family and when you come to this family, you're really thankful that you share in this kind of fellowship.
[SPEAKER_00]: or perhaps you get beat up in the world, trying to share faith, and you come here, and we get the seeing, we get the celebrate, you get love from this people.
[SPEAKER_00]: It becomes very precious to you.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Paul is just saying, make it even more precious.
[SPEAKER_00]: Stroop that brotherly affection.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ephesians 2, 13, and 14.
[SPEAKER_00]: It says, but now in Christ Jesus, you are once far off,
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, have been brought near by the blood of Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: For He Himself is our peace, who has made us both one and is broken down in His flesh, the dividing wall of hostility.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so the question is, how do you develop that brother in the affection?
[SPEAKER_00]: You think about the fact that now you share something here.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to think about that.
[SPEAKER_00]: We come from the same spiritual womb, and it says, I mean, we're all born in the spirit, those who trust in Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you spend time together.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now you can't spend time with over 300 people, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: But you spend time with a segment of this body.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you start to share things, shared experiences together in that we worship together.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're walking together in this life.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're working together for the same goal.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're beholding baptisms, this afternoon at 4 o'clock.
[SPEAKER_00]: we are part of a discipleship group.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're part of a life group together.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's hard to be affectionate toward strangers.
[SPEAKER_00]: We are called to move toward people so that they're not strangers.
[SPEAKER_00]: At least the segment of this group is not a stranger to you and then pour it on.
[SPEAKER_00]: Paul is sharing family expectations and you think about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're all adopted kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: If we're coming from different passive life, it's going to take us a little bit to meld together.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just think of my own family.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like we're close, but man, is it take a lot of work to have brotherly affection in the home, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you have to work through a lot of squabbles.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of selfishness going on.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of, you know, I forgive you and working through all of that.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just so much and we have different pursuits out here and so as parents, we're trying to develop that brotherly affection, try the church, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: We are very diverse.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's nothing, nothing is impossible with God, amen?
[SPEAKER_00]: And Paul is asking us to work hard and move toward each other, move toward each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is not impossible.
[SPEAKER_00]: But here's where we can't wait for someone else to do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: we need to initiate, and this draws on the last point.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is point number five, show honor.
[SPEAKER_00]: Point number five, show honor.
[SPEAKER_00]: Look at this phrase, verse 10.
[SPEAKER_00]: Outdo one another, showing honor.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sounds like a competition, but really it means be the first to initiate, initiate it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Initiate showing honor.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't wait for someone else to honor you.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if we're all doing that, we're moving toward each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, we don't live in a honoring culture.
[SPEAKER_00]: America is not a honor culture.
[SPEAKER_00]: Middle East isn't honor culture.
[SPEAKER_00]: You come into their house, they're going to protect you.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're going to care for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: You are really going to, they're going to roll out the red carpet.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure those who went on the trip down to South America, there's somewhat of an honor culture there, too, where they're going to honor.
[SPEAKER_00]: the Asian cultures.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're on our cultures, not in America.
[SPEAKER_00]: We are more prone to tear down to jab, just and joke.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just the way we are, and we're celebrating 250 years of independence.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm reading books about the Revolutionary Period, and I am amazed that we are still
[SPEAKER_00]: United States.
[SPEAKER_00]: Even back then, it was like a miracle of miracles, because those who founded the country rejected any hint of monarchy or inherited aristocracy, which made them skeptical of any leaders.
[SPEAKER_00]: Most of them did not want a central government because they were afraid of a king.
[SPEAKER_00]: but war brought them together.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the revolutionary spirit that still is with us today, there has benefit to it, but it's fiercely independent and independence that keeps us from honoring one another.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just in our blood.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you're gonna have to work against that spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, what does it mean to honor?
[SPEAKER_00]: It means you respect,
[SPEAKER_00]: Like Philippians 2-3, do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility, you count others more significant than yourself, that's honor.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's honor, counting others more significant, showing that through action and attitude.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's honor.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we can think of honor like getting the door for somebody or letting them ride shotgun when you want to take in the front seat.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's all showing honor in a very simple way, but think about in your own home.
[SPEAKER_00]: When a spouse comes home, you greet them as soon as you arrive home.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's showing honor.
[SPEAKER_00]: You just recognize them.
[SPEAKER_00]: You talk them up in public, instead of running them down.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would say the same thing, parents to children.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't talk about your children in a way that would run them down in public.
[SPEAKER_00]: Talk them up.
[SPEAKER_00]: Children to parents.
[SPEAKER_00]: don't run your parents down, talk them up.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you have something to say to them, you go and pride it.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's honor.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's honoring the people and the persons.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that should be a Christian virtue.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's saying it here that we ought to do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: C.S.
[SPEAKER_00]: Lewis, in mere Christianity, points out that pride is fundamentally competitive.
[SPEAKER_00]: It gets satisfaction, not in having something, but in having more of something than others.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's pride, like I have more than you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm better than you, you see what I mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: Paul is aiming to destroy pride in us by this command showing honor to others.
[SPEAKER_00]: We give so much attention at getting honor and Paul reverses it by commanding us to give that honor
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a big difference.
[SPEAKER_00]: The world says, outdo one another receiving honor.
[SPEAKER_00]: Paul says the opposite, outdo one another, giving it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Outdo one another and giving honor.
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you think that would do?
[SPEAKER_00]: How would the atmosphere in your family change with that, not waiting to be honored,
[SPEAKER_00]: initiating honor, showing affection, working hard at showing affection, I just think in a marriage what it could do, because we get entrenched.
[SPEAKER_00]: We think we ought to be honored, we're thinking about what that person is and honoring me, news flash, it never is even in marriage.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it says, right here, out do one another, showing honor.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't try to even score.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't wait for them to honor you.
[SPEAKER_00]: You outdo them.
[SPEAKER_00]: You initiate showing honor.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's gonna change a lot.
[SPEAKER_00]: out does us all.
[SPEAKER_00]: You think about he is the son of God, full of glory, full of majesty, deserving of all praise.
[SPEAKER_00]: And what does he do, John chapter 13?
[SPEAKER_00]: He gets on his knees, and he washes the feet of his disciples.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's giving honor.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you know who's in that crowd.
[SPEAKER_00]: Peter who's going to deny,
[SPEAKER_00]: and Judas, who is going to betray he even knows him.
[SPEAKER_00]: So love without hypocrisy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love without hypocrisy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hate evil.
[SPEAKER_00]: Be revolt, have revulsion toward evil.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you do that?
[SPEAKER_00]: Think about your entertainment.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you want to make sure your senses, your spiritual senses are tuned up toward the Lord of glory.
[SPEAKER_00]: That you're not laughing and entertained by things that God hates.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not going to go well.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then cleave to the good with good thoughts, good friends, and good habits.
[SPEAKER_00]: cleave to the good.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love affectionately.
[SPEAKER_00]: This might be a little hard because in my home, my mom was very affectionate, very affectionate.
[SPEAKER_00]: My dad, he was a little, you know, when I'd come in for a hug, he was stiff.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, this kind of people.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was trying
[SPEAKER_00]: you know, we were working on it together, but showing affection.
[SPEAKER_00]: And doing, obviously, in appropriate ways in the body of Christ, but you're showing affection, you're being affectionate, and then showing honor, being the first to do it, not, you know, there is a scorecard, being the first.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think what keeps us from that is that, you know, you live enough life, you get hurt.
[SPEAKER_00]: You live in a life you're trying to protect more than anything.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're just trying to survive and get through the day.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you want others to honor you or love you first.
[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, we're trying to go, well, I need to extract the most out of life.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's life according to us and we're clawing for honor.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's all got to be reversed, we initiate those things.
[SPEAKER_00]: And when you initiate it, you do change your home.
[SPEAKER_00]: You will change your home if you start to do these things.
[SPEAKER_00]: And even this week, I have been asking others to pray for me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I asked the elders.
[SPEAKER_00]: I asked the pastoral team.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just said, you know, I feel like to pray
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it seems like over the years in all the battles, you get a little too tough, and maybe a hard exterior.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't want that, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to cry with those who cry, I want to rejoice with those who rejoice, and I want to be sensitive in the moving of the Holy Spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: I always want that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I even asked for prayer this week about that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe you would do well in asking for the same kind of prayer.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because the more that we can initiate these things, the better your home will be, you're going to beautify from the inside out.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to be released to do some pretty amazing things that the Lord would have you do.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's not done with you, you know.
[SPEAKER_00]: You could easily say, well, I'm a little more crusty.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's true.
[SPEAKER_00]: But God wants to soften you.
[SPEAKER_00]: You will always be you, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I mean, he doesn't change your personality.
[SPEAKER_00]: But he wants to release your personality, filled with the Holy Spirit, so that you're a powerful tool in his hands, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And nothing is, nothing is more satisfying than that.