[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, well, it is it's good to be back with you guys.
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll see if I know how to do this anymore, but the last three weekends last three Sundays I've been off on thanks Sam, Pastor Sam for bringing the word they're faithfully, but for those of you who might be newer here over the last couple weeks You know, who's this guy?
[SPEAKER_00]: My name's Nick and one of the pastors here and I don't take a lot of Sundays off and this is the first time ever I've taken three three Sundays
[SPEAKER_00]: In a row off, I think, ever, so a little bit different for me, but honestly, it was something that I needed, my family needed, and sometimes I think in life, you don't know how maybe burnt out, tired you are until you get away and get to a place where you can slow down, things are a little bit more quiet, and you can kind of assess your life there.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think, if you're honest too, I mean, a lot of us, we live this way, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: You guys ever feel this, life is busy, life is
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know fast and exhausting at times, but I think we'd all say or have said at times, I'm busy, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe this morning like, hey, how are you doing?
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyone maybe want to be honest and you're like, hey, I just said I'm good, but I'm busy, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's something we all say and wrestle with, busy with work, family, kids, church, good things.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think sometimes we're so busy that we kind of forget the to ask the deeper questions of like how am I doing Spiritually how how am I doing and so I'm gonna tell you guys.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, this is this sermon today It's not gonna be versed by verse like normal.
[SPEAKER_00]: We will be in Acts chapter nine so you can open your Bibles there
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm trying to set up the scene here.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is some stuff that God's been working on me and my life, my heart the last few weeks, while we're on vacation, while we're away, resting.
[SPEAKER_00]: But one morning we're on vacation, and I woke up for me, felt early, it was like 7am, but that's in Tucson, Arizona, which is 9am here, so it really is kind of normal for me on a weekday, something like, man, you wake up at 9am.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I do, but I don't get home from work till midnight, usually.
[SPEAKER_00]: So anyways,
[SPEAKER_00]: But I woke up kind of early, I think my daughter was awake, but I was just in the living room and I feel like God put this question on my mind.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes I just kept thinking about, it was like, okay, what's this mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: But it was this question that I'll just tell you what it was, is just who am I becoming?
[SPEAKER_00]: Who might be coming in now?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a guy I like to take a lot of notes.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know any note takers out there Just in anything.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean like you go to my office in my house.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I got a stack of just paper with Random notes if you went there and looked through it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You probably think Nick's losing his mind.
[SPEAKER_00]: This doesn't make any sense to you But to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like no, that's you know
[SPEAKER_00]: five different things on one paper just you know God gives me stuff i think of it i write it down anyways i grab my notebook there that morning in two sun areas on i write it down who am i becoming an i deeply considered this i was thinking about it praying about it and i just honest with myself right uh who am i becoming it's not what am i accomplishing or how am i doing at accomplishing those things it wasn't let me write down it to do list which i often do with my
[SPEAKER_00]: But who am I becoming?
[SPEAKER_00]: And if I'm honest with you, which I like to try to be honest and vulnerable a little bit and hopefully it'll allow you to be honest and vulnerable with others here, but I didn't really like my answer, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: I wrote down a few words, who am I becoming?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, one of them was I'm burnt out, anyone can relate in the room, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm burnt out, well, and another word I wrote down is I'm hurried.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm rushing through everything to get to the next thing because I feel like I need to get it done and if I don't do it then who else is going to do it and it's just going to go over to the next day and it's just a compound you know which only compounds burn out and so I'm burnt out I'm hurried I wrote down I'm becoming bitter which is not a fun word to admit about yourself because like when you're burnt out and you're hurried everything feels like a burden
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, like, why do I have to do this or what's going on here and I even wrote down negative at times.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes when you're in a work environment such as mine, like everyone has this negativity, um, and negativity breeds more negativity, um, and I felt like I'm becoming
[SPEAKER_00]: negative.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not encouraging people at work as I shouldn't.
[SPEAKER_00]: So again, those aren't fun words to write about yourself, but they are honest for me in that moment there and I know the answers were, I don't know, I mean, not fun and not encouraging.
[SPEAKER_00]: But then the next question God brought to my mind is who do I want to become?
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, well, who do I want to be?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, God, I want to be joyful.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know as a pastor, as a Christian, joy is not related to circumstance.
[SPEAKER_00]: You could be in the midst of trials and pain and hard things in life and still have joy.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know the world would say, well, you know, if you're not happy, well, then you must not have joy.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's not
[SPEAKER_00]: the case happiness and joy are not the same things.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I got, I just want joy, even in the midst of chaos, even in the midst of maybe a negative work environment, can I just have joy, can I have hope, can I have peace?
[SPEAKER_00]: And of course, I know these things, maybe you're thinking today, like, yeah, let's go on on Nick, but bear with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I wrote down, I want to be joyful.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be encouraging someone who brings some light into this dark, negative, maybe bitter situation.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then the third question that I felt God just kind of prompted me is like okay, well then how do I get there?
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, who am I becoming?
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the reality, who I was in that moment, who do I want to be?
[SPEAKER_00]: How do I get there?
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't have a secret formula to give you today that I came back from vacation and had this grand realization.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I do know this that Jesus is the answer.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was reminded of something that I think we often forget, and for me, again, burn out hurried, rushed, and I'm just, um, just be honest, I mean, Sam said it last week, or maybe it's a couple of weeks ago, how like, I'm a hard worker, he's like, Nick's a hard worker, one of the hardest workers I know.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a blessing in a curse, because like, I know how to, like, push the limits, past the limits, and keep it there.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anybody know?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like,
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just kind of like, I've learned how to operate in the burnout.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's normal.
[SPEAKER_00]: So what's not normal is sitting down, having no schedule agenda.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't have my computer on vacation.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I couldn't do anything, which was a good thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I was reminded, it's just something we forget.
[SPEAKER_00]: One of the most maybe spiritual things we can do is rest.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just encourage you, maybe you can take this home and apply to your own life, but find rest.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now that doesn't mean be lazy, go quit your job, and say, well, this is too much.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
[SPEAKER_00]: God made the Sabbath day one day out of the week, and the Sabbath day Jesus tells us that the Sabbath was made for man, not the Sabbath, not for God.
[SPEAKER_00]: God doesn't need rest.
[SPEAKER_00]: His word tells us he never sleeps.
[SPEAKER_00]: He never slumbers, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: He doesn't get tired.
[SPEAKER_00]: God doesn't get burnt out and all these things that we experience.
[SPEAKER_00]: But our finite humanity, we need rest and God knows that and he made it the Sabbath day because he knows we need.
[SPEAKER_00]: rest and so our vacation I mean it was great we didn't do all that much we didn't have a packed schedule as we have in past times where it's like oh we got to get breakfast with that person lunch with them we're going to go dinner over there then after dinner we're going to go see this thing right I mean sometimes vacation ends up being this whole list and you come home and you're like I need a vacation from my vacation
[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to be arrested and refreshed, but we didn't do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: We just had to open schedule there, like three things we had planned in those 10 days that we were going to do at a specific time, but for the most part, we just enjoyed life and the slowness of it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I came back, it was that we came back on a Monday, got back Monday night.
[SPEAKER_00]: Tuesday morning was when I woke up and I actually feel like a switch was flipped.
[SPEAKER_00]: I got flipped the switch and I felt physically refreshed.
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt mentally refreshed, spiritually refreshed.
[SPEAKER_00]: And just ready to come into the next season, whatever that may be.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I felt for maybe the first time in a while, just peace with my circumstances.
[SPEAKER_00]: Peace, joy, words, like, yeah, I got to go to work today.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I felt like excited about it in some odd way.
[SPEAKER_00]: and even went to work.
[SPEAKER_00]: I work at UPS in a hub where we sort all the packages and oftentimes, we have a plan, we do the same thing every single day and you'd think like, we'd be good at this.
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes it's like, guys, like, we got to do what we do every day, but then every day, something happens that throws everything for a loop, but that first day back was maybe one of the worst days and like the last four months or so, but I had joy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I was like, you know, not joy that the place was going crazy, but
[SPEAKER_00]: I just felt like I'm okay with it, I'm not stressed, I'm not worried, I'm not mad at anybody and I don't know, I was just refreshed and so again, the question, who am I becoming and I want to ask you guys church this morning or those visiting watching online, maybe listening later, who are you becoming?
[SPEAKER_00]: Who are you becoming?
[SPEAKER_00]: Not who do you hope to be one day right or who do you want to become?
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the second question, but who are you right now through your actions or maybe lack their of actions?
[SPEAKER_00]: Who are you becoming?
[SPEAKER_00]: what's your heart look like right this is something only you and God know only you can answer these things is something I didn't even realize to the extent of my my burnout that I need some rest of course I'm like yeah I'm burnt out I'm just that's just normal to me but I realize like man I
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm becoming bitter and this is a serious problem, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And again, every decision we make or maybe that we don't make, make excuses to not do things, it's forming us into someone.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, the question is, who are you becoming?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you're becoming someone, whether you realize it or not.
[SPEAKER_00]: And as I was praying through what to share here in the last couple weeks, honestly, I was planning to teach Acts chapter nine last Sunday, and Sam was excited, and he's like, man, I got notes, and I want to preach, and just take another Sunday off, and I was like, go for it, man, I'll preach next Sunday.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's not going to be a verse by verse, but God just kept I mean I was just deep in Acts chapter nine in Saul's life and many of you guys I mean if you've been here at least you're familiar with Saul right just a show of hands How much do I got a recap here today?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay if I got to do some but Saul he was an enemy of the church And you guys know this or maybe you don't but he hated Christians, but he was deeply religious
[SPEAKER_00]: which is the weird thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: It seems like a contradiction, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Wait a minute.
[SPEAKER_00]: You like hate Jesus and His followers.
[SPEAKER_00]: But you love God.
[SPEAKER_00]: How can those two things coexist?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, turns out He was a deeply misled.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was deep in pride, religious pride, religious traditions there.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I've been going through Acts chapter 9 and I know most sermons, pastors that you hear preach, they focus on souls conversion, which I think they should.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's one of the greatest stories in just as far as an enemy of God, coming to be one of God's greatest tools.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's great.
[SPEAKER_00]: But as I sat with this kind of went through it, things I'm going through in life, things
[SPEAKER_00]: the more I realize this isn't, at least for me today what I'm going to say is it's not so much about Saul getting saved, but it's about who is Saul becoming.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's becoming someone completely different.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know you can argue, you say, well, Nick, it's the same thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's being saved, which means he's transformed in a new creation in Christ.
[SPEAKER_00]: I get it, but bear with me here is like he's becoming someone completely new.
[SPEAKER_00]: The old Saul has died, or is dying in this chapter here?
[SPEAKER_00]: A new man is emerging.
[SPEAKER_00]: His priorities are going to change from this day on.
[SPEAKER_00]: His friends will no longer be his friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want you to consider this today.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but consider this today.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the big question.
[SPEAKER_00]: What would it look like for you and me, each and every one of us, to fully surrender our lives to Jesus?
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
[SPEAKER_00]: I, who am I becoming?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I want to be what God wants me to be because he created me after all.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be a follower of Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to do what he has for me.
[SPEAKER_00]: But what if that costs every single friendship you have right now, that's outside of this church right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: Would you be willing to do that?
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know that Saul knew this was gonna happen.
[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't planned.
[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't on his agenda on August 9th.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I'm gonna lose all my friends and I'm gonna be okay with it, but this is where God had him.
[SPEAKER_00]: After this day, this moment, his friends, would then next week we'll see, they're gonna seek to kill him some friends, huh?
[SPEAKER_00]: I cut that with our homies, ride together, die together, bad boys for life, and you want to come over here and you're going to seek my life, right, they seek to arrest them, all these things.
[SPEAKER_00]: But then the crazy thing is, the people he saw as enemies before hand, end up becoming his closest friends and his family.
[SPEAKER_00]: His life changes completely.
[SPEAKER_00]: Complete 180, everything changes, and why does it change?
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, because here's the simple thing is because he stopped resisting God.
[SPEAKER_00]: He stopped resisting Jesus, and he completely surrendered to his will.
[SPEAKER_00]: And as I started thinking about these things, again, this is the question I think we should wrestle with today.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's not am I saved, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: But have you surrendered your life to Jesus?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because there are a lot of people out there who believe in Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: You go to work and people who, I mean, you would probably place your bet and say, they probably don't believe in Jesus just by how they speak and talk and act and all those things.
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you ask them if they believe in Jesus, I think you might be surprised and many of them would say, yeah, I do.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: I do believe in Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: Some of them, some people they come to church, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: They know a lot about Jesus, but at the same time they're holding on to parts of their old life that God's calling them to let go of.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe that's you today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Some people that come into church, one foot in the church, but at the same time one foot in the world, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: You're trying to follow Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: But you're not willing to fully surrender.
[SPEAKER_00]: You see the problem?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a tug of war.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I've shared this before.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a song by Andy Minio, he's a Christian rapper.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's got some good music.
[SPEAKER_00]: But he has a song called tug of war.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I mean, it's such a good song because it's like, on the one hand, you got the worldly things, your friends, and stuff that you grew up with, you love, but at the same time, God say, hey, let it go.
[SPEAKER_00]: And follow me, but then you're just so back and forth.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a tug of war.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's how the song goes.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's where we're going this morning, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to look at Saul's story through one question, again, what would your life look like if you completely surrendered to Jesus in the title of my message today is no turning back.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so with that said, we're going to pray.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Bible's open to Acts chapter 9.
[SPEAKER_00]: So Father, we thank you for this time.
[SPEAKER_00]: We can come together.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just pray that you would fill this place with your holy spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: God, that's you would have your will, your way in our hearts.
[SPEAKER_00]: In our minds, God, those who have come in with heavy burdens, Lord, because of maybe other people who have hurt them or harm them, frustrated them, Lord, I pray that you would relieve those, I pray that you bring healing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Lord, those who have come in with busy, hurried, just minds, maybe burnt out God, I pray that we'd find rest right now in your presence, that we'd be refreshed.
[SPEAKER_00]: Lord and those of us who maybe were holding on to things you're calling us to let go of I pray today we would repent of those God and that we would follow you fully surrendered to you Lord and that you would have your way, your will in our lives when we pray this in Jesus' name.
[SPEAKER_00]: Amen.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, Acts chapter 9, we're just going to go through kind of skim through a few verses, but verse 1 says this, but Saul still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord went to the high priest.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'll just pause here real quick because I think it's interesting that he goes to the high priest.
[SPEAKER_00]: That'd be the church leaders, pastor of that day and age.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think it's worth noting just because someone in a religious position says that it's okay, does not mean that it's okay all the time.
[SPEAKER_00]: You understand that, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: you can go find a pastor will say hey it's cool if you get high it's okay to get drunk it's okay to sleep around it's okay to look at pornography whatever you fill in the blank you can find someone in a religious position to verify or validate whatever belief you want but that does not mean that it's true
[SPEAKER_00]: does not mean that it's okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Paul goes to the high priest and you think, well, the high priest said it's okay to go persecute these Christians and kill them.
[SPEAKER_00]: Therefore, it must be okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, obviously, it's not.
[SPEAKER_00]: So side note, free for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, the verse two he says,
[SPEAKER_00]: And he asked him for letters, asked the high priest for letters, to the synagogues at Damascus, so that if he found any belonging to the way, this is Christians, followers of Jesus, men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now Luke, he's the author of Acts, and he's painting a picture here, I think, a picture of Saul.
[SPEAKER_00]: And here's the thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: It says that he's still breathing.
[SPEAKER_00]: threats in murder not this was the first time not this is the first occasion right in other words this isn't something he just did once in a while or one time this is who saw had become a man of murder uh... filled with hatred towards christians filled with even violence in his mind right he believed in this is the crazy thing that he believed he was doing god's work
[SPEAKER_00]: And here's the thing, you can just be so sincere, you could be a hundred percent, you believe this, but still be a hundred percent wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: You understand, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, in this world we live in today, I mean, we're all about this like sincerity.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, as long as you're sincere and you do it with all your heart and you love it and you just do you, and you follow your heart, like all this worldly garbage that, you know, sells a lot because it's cliche and it sounds good, but it's misleading.
[SPEAKER_00]: Bible says that our hearts deceitful and wicked, above all else, who can understand it, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: So we're like, well, let just follow your heart.
[SPEAKER_00]: And as long as you sincerely follow your heart and put everything into it, then you'll be all right.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, Saul, he believed he was doing God's work.
[SPEAKER_00]: And his work was to kill Christians, essentially.
[SPEAKER_00]: Or at the, on the lesser side, at least put them
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, and there's people out there today, you might think, well, you know, that was back then.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I mean, there's people today that we could make this argument.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, they're sincere, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And we have, I mean, on extreme level, but very like Saul, it's just, I mean, you guys remember ISIS,
[SPEAKER_00]: ISIS is a modern day threat to Christianity and things of that nature.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if you guys have seen videos and things of this nature.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't try to get too graphic, but I mean they would kill Christians.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a video of them killing them on a beach, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: They wanted them to deny Jesus or die and they go on to behead these Christians because they wouldn't surrender to the world or to whatever it is they wanted.
[SPEAKER_00]: But that still happens today, and so they're sincere, like the other side, those who kill Christians.
[SPEAKER_00]: But does that mean that they're right?
[SPEAKER_00]: No, obviously not.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, but Saul's in this moment, right, doing God's work, he wasn't casual about this.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was deeply committed to destroying the church.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the scary thing about sin and pride is that it can feel good and it can feel like you're doing the right thing and you're doing what you were created to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: But again, still be incredibly wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, Saul, I mean, he's not pretending.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's not a hypocrite, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: He's practicing what he preached.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's practicing what he believed.
[SPEAKER_00]: He genuinely believed that he was honoring God, doing God's work.
[SPEAKER_00]: He knew the Scriptures probably a hundred times better than any of us in here today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe even all of us can bind.
[SPEAKER_00]: Saul would be a Pharisee, part of being a Pharisee as you knew God's word, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like he would be able to quote this stuff off the top of his head.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was intelligent.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's brilliant.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's not, I don't know, he's brilliant.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's zealous, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: He even tells us that.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was so zealous that he persecuted the church, but zeal without truth, real knowledge.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a dangerous thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so then anyway, Saul, he's on his way to go persecute Christians.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's threats, there's murder on his mind.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it says in verse three, says now as he went on his way.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's going to do what he always does, or at least what he believes he's supposed to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: As he's going to Damascus, his plans for his life got intervened.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that about God because God will intervene and disrupt your life sometimes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes the thing that's you're so upset about, and you're like, man, how could this happen?
[SPEAKER_00]: Why is this happening?
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, God, why would you allow this?
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe that's the thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe this buzzing going off to Celirt where I'll get in is the thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, but God has a way of disrupting your plans to get your attention.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, so you ever have a plan where you're like, oh, I'm trying to go somewhere.
[SPEAKER_00]: I got time to be there and all this stuff.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, but you get something happens.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, sometimes like you get a flat tire, which is like the worst thing, because you're like, man, I'm already running late.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: But then, but maybe God brings something out of it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember when we got new tires on the trailer for the church, which was like a great, like, you know, we got to go spend all this money on these tires.
[SPEAKER_00]: And when we had a flat tire, you know, which is unfortunate, but then I go there and then the guy selling me tires is like, oh, you know, what's this for?
[SPEAKER_00]: And I got it's our church trailer and then also we started talking about Jesus and I was like, okay, well, like this meeting wasn't so, I don't know, worthless, you know, because you're like, I'm just wasting time here, like can we hurry up, you know, like, but then at the same time, God's like, no, this is where you're supposed to be right now, Nick.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to hopefully encourage him or he's going to encourage you.
[SPEAKER_00]: But God has a way of disrupting our plans and he disrupts Saul's plans.
[SPEAKER_00]: And notice here's, I mean, I'll kind of paraphrase on this.
[SPEAKER_00]: But when he's on his road on the way to Damascus to persecute Christians, says a suddenly a light from heaven showing around him.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then Jesus speaks to him.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he says this to him.
[SPEAKER_00]: He says, Saul, why are you persecuting me?
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, and I love this because maybe today you feel like man God's forgotten about me.
[SPEAKER_00]: He doesn't see, he doesn't understand.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sure, he loves that person or my friend or my sister or my brother.
[SPEAKER_00]: But he doesn't love me.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's forgotten about me.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, Jesus sees it all.
[SPEAKER_00]: He knows it all.
[SPEAKER_00]: He knows what you're going through.
[SPEAKER_00]: He knows what trials, persecutions you may be facing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe work is difficult because you're the only Christian there.
[SPEAKER_00]: He sees it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not without
[SPEAKER_00]: purpose.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so don't forget Jesus sees it, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: He's not distant from his church.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so he sees that we're being persecuted.
[SPEAKER_00]: He knows that Saul's persecuting his people and he says, Why are you persecuting me?
[SPEAKER_00]: And then Saul asks the question, it says, Who are you?
[SPEAKER_00]: Which is the normal, probably a response when a voice that you're unfamiliar with comes into your life, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Especially when you're like struck blind.
[SPEAKER_00]: Who are you Lord?
[SPEAKER_00]: And Jesus says, I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
[SPEAKER_00]: This would be a wake-up call.
[SPEAKER_00]: This would be a moment right where all of a sudden everything saw believed.
[SPEAKER_00]: Everything he's built his life around, his ministry, everything that he thought he knew starts to come crumbling down.
[SPEAKER_00]: Wait a second.
[SPEAKER_00]: Jesus, the guy we crucified, the guy that thought he was God, but we didn't think he was and we didn't actually believe him.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're alive.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then something interesting about chapter nine is that Luke doesn't record everything that Jesus says here.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's in Acts chapter 26 verse 14, but Paul, this is years later, and he's before I believe King Agrippa, and he's giving his testimony of this very moment.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he gives a little more information and he says that Jesus said, it is hard for you to kick against the Goats.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a weird saying for us today, and I don't know what we could equate it to, but what it would be a goat would be a sharp stick or a point of tool, a farmer would essentially use, and there'd be an ox, you know, to plow your field.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you'd have the stick maybe behind their leg.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, but sometimes the ox would want to, you know, break out and do its own thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me live my own life, spread my wing,
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, and so he kick against the goat.
[SPEAKER_00]: He tried to kick maybe the owner while the sticks there, a little point, and they would kick into this stick, and then, you know, they'd get hurt.
[SPEAKER_00]: But at the whole point is that the farmer, the owner of this animal, is not trying to hurt the animal.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's trying to guide the animal.
[SPEAKER_00]: But what Jesus is saying to Saul, he's saying, you're kicking against me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to guide you.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're the man of truth, Saul, like you know the word.
[SPEAKER_00]: Nothing, you know what, like you don't know me, then it doesn't make sense.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so Jesus is saying, you saw, you've been resisting me.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't think this is the first moment on the Damascus Road where Saul's kicking against the Goads or resisting God.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, a few chapters earlier and Stevens martered.
[SPEAKER_00]: Steven, the first martyr that we know about, to be killed for his belief in Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you remember it, I mean, Steven Preaches, one of the...
[SPEAKER_00]: greatest spirit filled sermons and it's awesome and it's like I don't know when I read it I'm like Steven just had joy, he had confidence even though he's like I might die today he still preached the word there but then it tells us that at the end of his sermon Steven says you he's speaking to the religious leaders who would kill him you stiff-necked people
[SPEAKER_00]: as your father's did so to you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, he's speaking to this group, but who's part of that group?
[SPEAKER_00]: Saul.
[SPEAKER_00]: Saul is there.
[SPEAKER_00]: Saul heard these words.
[SPEAKER_00]: You basically use stubborn people.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're always resisting God.
[SPEAKER_00]: You won't listen.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're always kicking against the goats.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think when Jesus says it's hard for you to kick against the goats, this would probably a work in progress for a long time, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, probably not just two instances, but many instances where Saul has to wrestle with is Jesus who he says he is.
[SPEAKER_00]: What does Scripture have to say about this?
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's constantly
[SPEAKER_00]: kicking resisting God.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think Jesus is saying, so I've been pursuing you longer than you even realize.
[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe for some of you guys joining today or maybe watching online, that's you today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, this isn't the first sermon that you've heard.
[SPEAKER_00]: This isn't the first time, maybe today you feel convicted.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe God he's been speaking to you through his word.
[SPEAKER_00]: There is something you know in your life.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's called you to let go of and or maybe there's just things where there's just conversations that come up from someone at work or someone at the tire shop where all of a sudden they start speaking about Jesus and you feel convicted, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: God's trying to get your attention through different things, different ways.
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you're honest, you're doing what Stephen said to them is that you're resisting the Holy Spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're pushing back on his conviction.
[SPEAKER_00]: Explain you know way his voice.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, that was just a coincidence, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: You ever thought that, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Someone actually gave you a word and you're like, well, that's weird.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you know, because like, you know, you need it, but you don't want to admit that you need it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not to them, not even to yourself.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you're explaining away, I just just coincidence that just, you know, that wasn't God, no way, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we explained these things away.
[SPEAKER_00]: We pushed back against God.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we put off what he's asking us to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I mean, the good news is if that is you today, and maybe you feel like you're in that boat, so to speak, today doesn't have to be another day of resisting God.
[SPEAKER_00]: Today could be your Damascus road where Saul became a new man.
[SPEAKER_00]: It could be the day where you stop kicking, stop making excuses and where you start to finally surrender.
[SPEAKER_00]: Some of you you probably heard this right the it's said, you know, the best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago, or maybe it's 20 years ago, either way it works.
[SPEAKER_00]: But then they say, well, what's the second best time?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, the second best time to plant a tree is today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And so for some of you, it's like, yes, sure, the best time to have surrendered to Jesus was the first time that he came and knocked on the door of your heart to give your like to him, but you've been resisting and yeah, maybe it's years later, but the second best time is today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Scripture says, don't harden your heart.
[SPEAKER_00]: If today you hear God's voice, don't harden your heart as they did back then in the rebellion and the rebellious days there.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so something I've learned
[SPEAKER_00]: though through my life is that God, when he's convicting us, he's not trying to ruin your life.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I bought that life for a while, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, if I'm not getting part of my testimony for those of you who are new, I mean, an alcoholic and a drug addict to say nicely.
[SPEAKER_00]: But if I'm not getting drunk and high, Lord, how am I going to have a good time?
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what I thought, as deeply deceived, obviously, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: But he's not trying to ruin your life.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's trying to lead your life into and molds you into the person he wants you to become.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, every conviction, correction, uncomfortable truth that maybe a friend or some stranger on the sidewalk tells you is not meant to push you away from God or ruin your life.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's meant to draw you closer to Him so that you can find true life.
[SPEAKER_00]: And God is always speaking, but the question is, will we surrender, will we continue to resist?
[SPEAKER_00]: Later on, right, Jesus tells Saul, after he's, you know, struck him blind, says, why are you kicking against the goes man?
[SPEAKER_00]: Try and get your attention here.
[SPEAKER_00]: But Jesus tells him the rise and enter the city, and you'll be told what you're supposed to do there, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Saul who left Jerusalem, who left with confidence, he knew who he was, you know, he knew what he was going to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was, and honestly, he was somebody.
[SPEAKER_00]: He had authority.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was a religious elite if you will.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he had a mission, he had a plan, he was leading others on that same path there.
[SPEAKER_00]: But now, I mean, everything's starting to change.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's blind, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: The man who came to arrest Christians now has to be led by the hand, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: In verse eight says, this Saul rose, rose from the ground.
[SPEAKER_00]: Although his eyes were open, he saw nothing, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because he's blind, he's lost his sight.
[SPEAKER_00]: So they led him by the hand and brought him into Damascus.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so he went to,
[SPEAKER_00]: Damascus.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's where he was heading anyways.
[SPEAKER_00]: I find it interesting.
[SPEAKER_00]: He went there to persecute Christians, but when he gets there, he's actually ministered to by Christians.
[SPEAKER_00]: And at the end of it, he becomes one himself.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because that's just what God can do.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you had a plan, but when God
[SPEAKER_00]: gets your attention and use surrender to his will and everything changes.
[SPEAKER_00]: In verse 9 it tells us that he was for three days he was without sight and he didn't eat or drink and so just try to imagine I just think of this right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Saul again he's an intelligent guy he knows the scriptures well.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's the three days where he can't see.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I'm sure there's people around checking on him, talking to him right, his friends, it seems like at least walked him over to this house where he's supposed to be.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe they left him there alone.
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't know all the details, but I imagine it's three days, that's 72 hours.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a long time.
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, to be blind and like you can't do anything, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not like he was born blind and he knows how to operate in this stuff.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is all brand new territory.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, what do I do?
[SPEAKER_00]: I imagine he deeply considered things for a while.
[SPEAKER_00]: He starts to think, okay, Jesus is alive.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that means what he said is true.
[SPEAKER_00]: And what he said, well, he said, he's the way or I am the way the truth in the life.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, if he's alive and that's true, then he must be the Messiah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just imagine he's starting to put these pieces together, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like he got a lot of time.
[SPEAKER_00]: He got nothing, but time to think and go through these things.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then in these days, right, he's, I believe God's breaking him down to where he's to the point of surrender, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: He's getting over his religious pride and he's starting to accept that he was wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, he knows the Scriptures, but now for the first time, he's starting to see Scripture through the lens of Jesus, that he is the fulfillment of the Old Testament and the new, which they didn't have the New Testament, but they would be familiar with the things Jesus had taught.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so here's the thing about Saul as Saul didn't become passionate about Jesus because he had an emotional experience.
[SPEAKER_00]: He became passionate zealous for Jesus because I believe he was convinced, without a shadow over doubt.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Jesus is God.
[SPEAKER_00]: that there is no other way to have into the Father except through Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I believe He's convinced and I think for you and I, it's like the same is true.
[SPEAKER_00]: When you become a hundred percent convinced of that, that there is no other way.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like other than Jesus and I know some of you intellectually, you're like, yeah, that's what I believe for sure, but like look at your life again, who are you becoming?
[SPEAKER_00]: Who are you?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, what do you do?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, do you actively live as if Jesus is Lord?
[SPEAKER_00]: Most of us were like, yeah, he's my savior, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like he's my get out of hell free card because he's paid for my sin.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm forgiven, but we don't treat him as Lord.
[SPEAKER_00]: Lord means he's the master over your life.
[SPEAKER_00]: God, what do you want me to do?
[SPEAKER_00]: God, where do you want me to live?
[SPEAKER_00]: God, where do you want me?
[SPEAKER_00]: All the things, what do you want with my life?
[SPEAKER_00]: You're the Lord of my life.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so Saul, he becomes incredibly convinced of this, right to the point where Jesus becomes his whole life.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I've shared this story before and I thought maybe I should share it maybe I shouldn't and I wrestled with it but I'm going to share it with you guys again and for those of you new, again part of my testimony I come from kind of drugs and alcohol and things of that and some of you can you already know this story but there was a season, I mean I grew up, I believed in Jesus my whole life, I believed God was real but I didn't live like I believed it.
[SPEAKER_00]: long story short but senior year high school I mean I I really went off the deep end in middle school and early high school I mean I I did some stuff got high and whatnot but then I came to Jesus in like sophomore year high school I was on fire I got rid of all that stuff I'm like yeah
[SPEAKER_00]: Real deal senior year comes around.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I fell deep into peer pressure and everyone else is doing it So I guess I should do it to that whole mentality and you know God wants me to be happy and make memories and have fun Jokes on me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't remember most of it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, but anyway, what I thought I wanted
[SPEAKER_00]: But anyways, I fell deep into this stuff and so then coming back to Jesus, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, 18, 19, 20, 21, like these are years where I mean, I was not living for the Lord whatsoever.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was drunk every single day, high, every day, all I did, I mean, I smoked weed all the time.
[SPEAKER_00]: and then I was often high on a lot of other things as well at the same time, and this is a give you a snapshot of my life.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's how I operated, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Today I operated in the burnout yesterday like I operated completely like not sober.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that was me at that point, who was I becoming, I wasn't becoming a very good person.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's for sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I go to church sometimes, because I mean, I knew the truth.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I wasn't living it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, I believe if I would have died, maybe I overdosed, I don't know if I would have been in heaven.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because the truth that I know versus what I'm living on be held accountable for these things.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so anyways, I'd go to church sometimes.
[SPEAKER_00]: One of my best friends he gave his life to Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: He became on fire.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a huge tool that God used in my life to bring me back.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'd go to church, I'd hear the message, and I'd be deeply convicted.
[SPEAKER_00]: But you know what I would do is I would leave and I'd go right back to what I always did.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd go get high, drunk, same old life.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd go church on Sunday and the rest of the week I'd live like the world.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had one foot in.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you could even call it that,
[SPEAKER_00]: in the church and one foot out and some of you I think you know exactly what this feels like.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
[SPEAKER_00]: You love Jesus enough to feel convicted but not enough to fully surrender.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm talking like I went to church my pastor Robert and for some of you too you're like weren't you supposed to speak for him?
[SPEAKER_00]: I was supposed to teach for him a couple of weeks ago and plans got canceled so if you're like you lied to us I didn't lie plans changed but anyways that's what happened there
[SPEAKER_00]: But my pastor, Robert, before I ever knew him, I didn't, you know, I mean, this is a huge church thousands of people.
[SPEAKER_00]: So like, when I would go there, I'd just sneak in the back, sit in the back.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't want to talk to anyone.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want, I don't want, I don't talk to me, because I don't want to feel more convicted than I already am.
[SPEAKER_00]: Gotta go, right, that's my mentality.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe some of that view curve, like, that's me today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I'll go there and I mean Robert would speak and preach a message, but it didn't matter what it was, but I swear like I mean there's probably dozens of times where it was like this message was for me.
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you guys ever felt that way?
[SPEAKER_00]: This message is for me like if no one else like it's for sure for me and you know Robert would say stuff too sometime.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you got drunk last night high and did this and blah, blah, I'm like I did all of those things in that order.
[SPEAKER_00]: right like like I don't know like to me I'm like he's speaking to me and I like again I'm just kicking against God I'm resisting right I can't do it then he would always not always but most of the time he'd have an altar call moment where he'd say you know uh close your eyes bow your heads and give everyone an opportunity to receive Jesus or to come back to Jesus
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, and so he'd lead us through this prayer, the whole church would pray it, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's a part in his prayer where you say, and I turn from my sins to follow you.
[SPEAKER_00]: And in that moment, like, dozens of times, I would not pray that part.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would pray the part like, I believe in you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, I believe you died from my sins.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I believe I can be forgiven for my sins.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then it's like, and then I'll turn from my sins.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, well, I'm not gonna pray that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I don't wanna lie to God.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he already knows I'm not going to do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm not going to pray that, but there became a point.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know, this is months, years, maybe even in the making of me kicking against God, but there became a day where he preached the message, I don't even know what it was, but I knew I'm like, I got to do this today.
[SPEAKER_00]: I got to stop resisting.
[SPEAKER_00]: You got to stop kicking against what God's calling me to let go of.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so at the end of the service, I prayed the whole prayer and I meant it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I go home, right, and I had a pipe, a glass pipe, and I go out into the alley.
[SPEAKER_00]: And now it's going to sound silly.
[SPEAKER_00]: But for some of you who can relate, you're like, that doesn't sound silly at all.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I mean, I was shedding tears.
[SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't like balling, sobbing.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I was
[SPEAKER_00]: tears were coming down, as I'm preparing to shatter my pipe against the wall, because for me that was my God.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that again, that might sound silly.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, you don't worship a pipe, well, I did.
[SPEAKER_00]: On a good day, what did I do?
[SPEAKER_00]: I went and got high.
[SPEAKER_00]: On a bad day, what I do?
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I got really high.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
[SPEAKER_00]: On a day, that was just so, so, I mean, I got high, it didn't matter.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, that's what I ran to, no matter what.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's how I coped with society and problems and things that I go through.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, I'm here.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm shedding tears, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's just again, it sounds silly, but I'm like, I'm about to shatter my idol here.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I got, I'm making it,
[SPEAKER_00]: this is a like for me like this is a big deal so I shattered on the wall right and now breaking that pipe that didn't save me I hope you understand it's we're not saved by our works Jesus saved me right but but by breaking this
[SPEAKER_00]: Pipe against the wall for me.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was me saying I'm done.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm done running.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm done resisting.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm done hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm done making excuses.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I can tell you today.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, this is 15 years ago or so.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I don't regret that decision one bit.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I mean, obviously, that's probably obvious.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I mean, have there been hard days?
[SPEAKER_00]: Since then, the other has.
[SPEAKER_00]: Has Satan tempted me with that?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, all man would be really good to just go back and do that and be easy to cope with those things.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you don't need to deal with your problems.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can just do this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's been tempting.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's been hard days, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: But has it been worth it?
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, absolutely.
[SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't be where I am today.
[SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't have my awesome wife and my kids had I held on to those things.
[SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't be here in Texas.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I'd probably be in prison to be honest, or maybe dead, because that's where some of my friends are now, some of them are in prison, some of them are dead.
[SPEAKER_00]: I might have been where I am, but it's like I gave those things up because I didn't want to become who I was becoming.
[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to be made new.
[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to be who God called me to be.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I had to get rid of these things.
[SPEAKER_00]: And now there's this phrase I've heard the last, I don't know, several months burned the boat.
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you guys heard this,
[SPEAKER_00]: uh... burning the boat right this idea comes from uh... commanders like back in the out of no ancient times i guess we could say but they would go to basically attack or invade take over a land or nation in a people group we could say and they take their boats over there but then it said that they would burn their boats not seems a little weird like well what do you like while you lay line that on fire we got to go back home right but that's the whole point it's like work there's no turning back
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, there's no boast.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, I don't know if this story actually happened, maybe it did, but I think the principle is pretty powerful, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, well, they're burning the boast.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's no retreat.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's only one direction and that's going forward.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, for us bringing that to our story, too, is like following Jesus means you had to come to a point where you stop leaving yourself and out.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, for me that's me, I'll go to church, but I still had my pipe.
[SPEAKER_00]: I went to church, but I still had my friends who would drag me down into those things because I just would cave to peer pressures, like, well, you know, I've only been sober for a day.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, what's another day if we just go and do these things, I'll start over, you know, on Monday or Tuesday.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: You make these excuses, you leave yourself and out.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have this mentality, if things get hard and here's the truth about following Jesus, things will get hard.
[SPEAKER_00]: I might not be encouraging for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can go to a church so tell you life's going to be rainbows and butterflies, but that's not the truth.
[SPEAKER_00]: Jesus says Himself, He says, there will be trials and tribulations in this world.
[SPEAKER_00]: He says, take heart.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have overcome the world.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like you will have problems.
[SPEAKER_00]: Saul has many of them.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Jesus says, hey, I'm going to show him how much he must suffer for my name.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know the sound fun, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like on a contract.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, hmm, it says, here I'm going to suffer.
[SPEAKER_00]: What?
[SPEAKER_00]: Can you define that?
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, if that did happen, God be like, it's going to be bad, Paul.
[SPEAKER_00]: But we leave ourselves an out.
[SPEAKER_00]: If it gets hard, I'll just, I'll go back to my old life.
[SPEAKER_00]: If obedience is too hard, I'll just quit.
[SPEAKER_00]: right if my friends don't like it and whatever I'll just start to compromise and we can't have that mentality you've got to burn the boats so to speak and you've got to decide for yourself that today's the day enough enough and there's no going back.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now that was what I did when I shattered that pipe on the wall right now I want to ask you I mean think about it what's your glass pipe so to speak.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's not an addiction maybe you didn't deal with drugs or alcohol
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's your career, maybe it's that you've got to have control over everything and anything, maybe it's pornography, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: It could be anything, maybe it's simply the fact that you're trying to live with one foot in the world and one foot in the church and it's just not possible.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe that's your one thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: But what's the one thing that God's putting his finger on in your life?
[SPEAKER_00]: Not just today, but like today's like the confirmation.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're like, God, well, if you really want me to get rid of that, I need you to confirm it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if that's happening in your life, this is probably confirmation that yes, he wants you to get rid of that sin, that idol, that thing that's bringing you down.
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, what's the one thing you've been negotiating over?
[SPEAKER_00]: And again, what I've learned is like, I know it's hard to give these things up, but Jesus has good things for us ahead.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they're hard.
[SPEAKER_00]: Things can get tough, but man, he's asking us to surrender these things because he wants to give us something far better.
[SPEAKER_00]: We need eternal life for a goodness.
[SPEAKER_00]: He wants to give you the light so that you can be a light to the others.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so until we stop resisting, we'll never really experience life he's created us to live.
[SPEAKER_00]: One excuse people use a lot, this might sound random.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have a lot of random notes for this sermon, but I was praying God, do I share this?
[SPEAKER_00]: Do I not?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just sharing it.
[SPEAKER_00]: God, you do what you do.
[SPEAKER_00]: But one excuse that people make a lot of, but the church is full of hypocrites, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: And in fact, yeah, I would say yeah, it is, because it's full of people, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's full of forgiven people, but people nonetheless.
[SPEAKER_00]: People who are being transformed, we're learning to follow Jesus, we're all in different stages, and we're all in this process, the process of sanctification.
[SPEAKER_00]: It takes time, and we'll see this over the next couple of weeks, we're saw.
[SPEAKER_00]: He didn't just like immediately become this all-star church planting missionary pastor.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like it took time.
[SPEAKER_00]: It took years of time, but some people will make the excuses like well, the church is full of hypocrites and they want the perfect person, perfect solution, all these things.
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you're looking for a perfect church, I mean the sad news is you're not going to find a perfect church here on earth.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, not here, not anywhere that you go.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, some churches are healthier than others, or they have more programs, or more things, that might's minister to you in a better way, or deeper way, but no one's no church is perfect.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to say this is that if that's you, though, you need to stop blaming people for you resisting God.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's like, well, you know, I believe in God, but I don't want to go to church because full of hypocrites, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, wait, so you're going to blame a sinful person for you not obeying God, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: You just got to understand this.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like you're being called by God Almighty.
[SPEAKER_00]: to follow him.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is a whatever it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: It might be a little thing like for me my glass pipe.
[SPEAKER_00]: But that was a big thing for me.
[SPEAKER_00]: You might be like, well, that's easy.
[SPEAKER_00]: All right.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a big thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's calling me to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's been many things similar to that.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's like I could have blamed other people.
[SPEAKER_00]: But the church is full of hypocrites.
[SPEAKER_00]: Nobody likes me.
[SPEAKER_00]: They all judge me, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I mean, that's just
[SPEAKER_00]: And I mean, people judge me then.
[SPEAKER_00]: People judge me today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Some of you who are new, like, that's the pastors, got gauges, whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I've been through it, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: People judge me, but I'm not called to answer to people at the end of my life.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can say, well, there are a bunch of hypocrites, Lord.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want anything to do with them.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so by disassociating with them, though we disassociate with God, and at the end of the day, that's excused.
[SPEAKER_00]: It won't hold any water.
[SPEAKER_00]: It won't, it won't hold any weight.
[SPEAKER_00]: You understand?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you're going to stand before God, not the hypocrites that you're going to accuse.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, God, there are a bunch of hypocrites.
[SPEAKER_00]: They weren't perfect, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: They let me down.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, people let us let each other down.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just life sometimes.
[SPEAKER_00]: We can't do everything.
[SPEAKER_00]: But one day, all of us were going to stand before God, Almighty, Jesus Christ, and you will be held accountable for what you did or you didn't do.
[SPEAKER_00]: For what things you even said.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now,
[SPEAKER_00]: Come back to Saul.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, Saul's life will go on to turn 180 degrees.
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, very literally, his old friends, his coworkers, colleagues, they would become his enemies very quickly.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just think if we consider that today as I get following Jesus, surrendering to Jesus, if that meant giving up all of your friends today, would you follow Jesus?
[SPEAKER_00]: If it meant giving up that addiction or shattering your pipe on the wall, maybe it's ending a certain relationship, I don't know what it is, what it could be.
[SPEAKER_00]: But if God's calling to do that, would you surrender those that thing?
[SPEAKER_00]: to follow Jesus, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: The people that Saul was hunting, eventually became his friends, his family, and Jesus goes on to change everything about Saul, and he goes by who we know as Paul later on.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to hear and see a lot that God does in his life throughout the rest of our study in Acts as we go verse by verse, but I mean, Paul is an example to us, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And again, coming back to the question I started with, I mean, who are you becoming
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, because the decisions you make today, or the things that you don't do today determine who you become tomorrow.
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, yeah, the best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago, but you didn't plant that tree.
[SPEAKER_00]: Get over it.
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, I look at my backyard, and I'm like, I should have planted a tree when I moved here.
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, because there's no, and anyways, there's not, and my neighbor Taylor, he lives down the street.
[SPEAKER_00]: He planted a tree, and it's like, he's got some shade, and I'm like, I should have planted a tree.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I could sit here and feel bad about myself, or you know what I could do, I could just go plant a tree.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and so for you today, you can sit here and feel bad for yourself, and man, I should have given my life to Jesus a long time ago, or maybe I shouldn't have compromised so much after giving my life to Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you can do this whole dialogue in your head of what you should have done, but you can't do anything about what you didn't do back then, but what you can do is something today, and you can repent and say, here God, here I am.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just take it all, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Who are you becoming, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: As we will close this up here pretty quickly, but Saul, he is again, he's stopped by God.
[SPEAKER_00]: God stops him.
[SPEAKER_00]: He gets his attention.
[SPEAKER_00]: Blinded him, he made him wait.
[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe the thing that you might be experiencing today isn't like God punishing you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why God would you allow this?
[SPEAKER_00]: But maybe he's just trying to get your attention.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe he's just trying to speak to you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe he's trying to get you to slow down so that you can hear his voice.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, sometimes when we resist God, it can look a lot of different ways, but it can look like rebellion, which is much of what my life and testimony looks like, but it could also look like busyness.
[SPEAKER_00]: You'll just fill your schedule with anything and everything else to stay busy so that you can say, well, I don't have time for God.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we become too busy to hear God, too busy to, I don't know, spend time with God.
[SPEAKER_00]: And again, tying it back to my vacation.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I learned that rest doesn't solve everything because Bill still got to be paid.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it does create space for God to speak and work and minister to your heart, your soul on a deep level.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Jesus says it himself, he says, like, come to me, those who are weary and heavy laden.
[SPEAKER_00]: In other words, those who are working hard and you're tired, says, come to me and he says, and you'll find rest for your souls.
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't that sound just refreshing like to me like it just sounds like a nice cold glass of like electrolytes after a workout like on a hot day like man like that's just refreshing like yes Jesus that's what I want and it could be yours you could have that today rest for your soul despite what your life and circumstances might look like and I mean that's what that's what I want so that I've found in Jesus he's I mean re
[SPEAKER_00]: Restoke, I don't know what the word is, but restart a fire within me, refreshed my soul as I created space for God.
[SPEAKER_00]: Becoming back to the question again, who am I becoming?
[SPEAKER_00]: Who are you becoming?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because the choices you make today, a determine who you're going to become tomorrow.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so,
[SPEAKER_00]: As we close this, my final invitation here is that maybe you've been kicking against God, resisting God in some form or way.
[SPEAKER_00]: You've heard His voice before, you felt His conviction.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what He's been asking of you.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not like, well, God, what do you want me to do?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know that there's that thing that you need to do, repent of whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: But you've resisted, you've put it off, you've made excuses.
[SPEAKER_00]: But again, today's God is speaking.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hebrews 315 says today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't let another day go by where you're like, well, I'll do that next week.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll do it next year Life's a little busy right now Lord.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't really afford to do those things.
[SPEAKER_00]: No stop with the excuses If Jesus is Lord of your life and you were surrendering to him, God, here I am.
[SPEAKER_00]: Take anything you want All right part of like our story and coming to plant this church I mean, that was us surrendering God, what do you want?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like we felt God was calling us to do something
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was a pastor at church, Calvary Tucson, for six years, and I mean, it was great, it was good.
[SPEAKER_00]: But part of like surrendering to God, like, God, what do you want for me and my wife and my kids, our family, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And part of our prayer is just, what do you want?
[SPEAKER_00]: We just kept leading us that we're going to be going somewhere.
[SPEAKER_00]: Somewhere new, start something fresh.
[SPEAKER_00]: New wine skins, if you will.
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of these things came to, or things God spoke and confirmed in us, over, I mean, months and years, even.
[SPEAKER_00]: Or it came to the point where it's like, okay, you're going to go start a church and the Austin area, Austin, Texas, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And so part of me was even, even, I say that just because some of you like, well, I'm on fire.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: I shattered my pipe years ago too, Nick, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Praise God.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's like, but he will still continue to call you to do things.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like maybe some of you, he's calling you to step into ministry in a different way.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe he's calling you to start a church.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe he's calling you to start some kind of small group or whatever it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: But you, again, all of us, I think we have things that God is trying to speak to us.
[SPEAKER_00]: And again, what's the thing he's speaking to you today?
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't harden your hearts.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't wait another day.
[SPEAKER_00]: There is no perfect day to come to Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's just today.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't do anything about yesterday.
[SPEAKER_00]: But what we can do is we can make a decision today, and so, I mean, burn the boats, stop making a, leaving a way out, just surrender and just know, like, just have that mindset.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's no turning back, is it going to be smooth sailing, probably not?
[SPEAKER_00]: Buckle up.
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, it's going to be a turbulent ride and that's why Jesus is a good pilot.
[SPEAKER_00]: He says that.
[SPEAKER_00]: In this world, you will have tribulation.
[SPEAKER_00]: There will be some turbulence.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, when you're on an airplane and your pilot tells you that, you're kind of prepared, no one likes it.
[SPEAKER_00]: But if turbulence comes out nowhere and feels like you're falling out of the sky, you're like, yo, like a little heads up would have been cool.
[SPEAKER_00]: Jesus tells us it's going to be a little bumpy, but take heart, I've overcome the world.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's going to be worth it.
[SPEAKER_00]: One day when we stand before Jesus, we're just hopefully, prayerfully, they'll say, well done, my good and faithful servant, entering.
[SPEAKER_00]: And now what we all hopefully want to hear, we want to be with Jesus,
[SPEAKER_00]: And so with that said, we're going to pray I want to give you a time to respond and think about this and today as we close we're actually going to close with two songs of worship and so the first song will have communion, but at this point I asked I'm going to ask that every head just be bow and eyes closed and we're just going to have this moment where
[SPEAKER_00]: We want to respond.
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't want to just hear, put it off to tomorrow.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to respond today.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, Father, we just come here this morning.
[SPEAKER_00]: I thank you for every man, woman, child that is here.
[SPEAKER_00]: Everyone that's tuning in online for those who might be listening to this later, God.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know that you have a plan and a purpose for each and every one of us and I know that some of us we have things we need to let go of.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's pride, maybe it's addiction, but God, you know, and I pray that you're speaking those things to each and every one of us right here right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: God, and I know that there's also people that you're calling, Lord, they're on fire.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're running the race, God.
[SPEAKER_00]: But Lord, I pray that we wouldn't get comfortable.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, we'd still be responsive to your word.
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you have for us?
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you want us to do, God?
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you want us to let go of?
[SPEAKER_00]: What responsibilities might you want us to take on?
[SPEAKER_00]: that we've been neglecting or putting off God.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I pray that is in this moment of worship, communion, or that we would respond unto you.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we pray this in Jesus' name.
[SPEAKER_00]: Amen.
[SPEAKER_00]: And again, I want to just ask that you keep your eyes closed head about just for a moment here and given it time to respond.
[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe you're here today and maybe you're hearing this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's the first time and you're hearing the gospel, you're hearing God's Word.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it is, can