WEBVTT 00:02.262 --> 00:04.644 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey guys, welcome to the Christian Parenting Podcast. 00:04.744 --> 00:12.629 [SPEAKER_00]: I am so glad that you are here with me today because we are kicking off a brand new series about one of the biggest questions that Christian parents ask. 00:13.170 --> 00:16.412 [SPEAKER_00]: How do we actually disciple our kids at home? 00:17.032 --> 00:26.819 [SPEAKER_00]: It can feel really overwhelming to know what really matters when it comes to helping our children build a lasting faith, like should we prioritize devotionals, family dinners, Christian school church activities. 00:27.180 --> 00:28.821 [SPEAKER_00]: There's no shortage of advice out there 00:32.263 --> 00:44.592 [SPEAKER_00]: Over the next few weeks, we're going to look at what research and scripture tells us about the practices that make the biggest impact on a child's faith that really help them make their faith their own and bring it with them into adulthood. 00:45.482 --> 00:49.565 [SPEAKER_00]: So to start it off, I'm joined by Jan and Gruder from Lifeway Christian Resources. 00:50.005 --> 00:55.969 [SPEAKER_00]: She has been years researching what influences kids who grow into adults with a vibrant, lasting faith. 00:56.409 --> 01:05.094 [SPEAKER_00]: And her findings are both encouraging and freeing, because they remind us that we don't have to do everything, we can focus on what matters most. 01:05.134 --> 01:10.438 [SPEAKER_00]: So I know this conversation and this entire series is going to encourage you so let's jump right in. 01:18.337 --> 01:18.718 [SPEAKER_00]: channel. 01:18.738 --> 01:20.780 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the Christian parenting podcast. 01:20.980 --> 01:21.461 [SPEAKER_00]: Hi, it's Dev. 01:21.521 --> 01:23.323 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so excited to be here with you. 01:23.603 --> 01:26.287 [SPEAKER_00]: I am so happy to be having this conversation. 01:26.307 --> 01:34.256 [SPEAKER_00]: And we're going to talk all about discipling kids at home, faith at home, the easy things that parents can focus on to invest in their kids' faith. 01:34.296 --> 01:37.701 [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's going to be just a really helpful conversation for parents. 01:38.461 --> 01:44.082 [SPEAKER_00]: But first, tell us about you, tell us what you do, tell us what your family, all the things are important to you. 01:44.102 --> 01:44.203 [SPEAKER_01]: Sure. 01:44.763 --> 01:51.444 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, so I'm coming to you from Britwood, Tennessee, Steph, you and I just talked about this. 01:52.625 --> 02:03.087 [SPEAKER_01]: Lifeways headquarters are at Tennessee, and so we actually have a podcast studio, so I'm sitting here in the podcast studio, but our sound engineer is on vacation, and so I'm 02:06.828 --> 02:07.428 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. 02:07.648 --> 02:09.689 [SPEAKER_01]: So I serve at Lifeway Christian Resources. 02:09.749 --> 02:11.190 [SPEAKER_01]: I've been here for 13 years. 02:12.570 --> 02:15.551 [SPEAKER_01]: Came in as Director of Kids Ministry publishing. 02:16.231 --> 02:25.095 [SPEAKER_01]: And since then, we've kind of restructured to be a next-gen department where we have kids ministry and student ministry working together. 02:25.115 --> 02:29.596 [SPEAKER_01]: And our main mission is to serve the church, a capital sea church, 02:34.998 --> 02:38.260 [SPEAKER_01]: and in ministries to share the gospel. 02:38.320 --> 02:48.826 [SPEAKER_01]: So we do a variety of things in those categories of resources and training, Bibles, Books, curriculum is mainly the space that I live in. 02:49.166 --> 02:52.008 [SPEAKER_01]: So Bibles, Studies, all of those kinds of things. 02:52.748 --> 02:56.430 [SPEAKER_01]: And then research, which is what you and I are going to talk about today. 02:57.110 --> 03:02.272 [SPEAKER_01]: So personally, I am a wife and mom of three. 03:02.332 --> 03:08.555 [SPEAKER_01]: I can now say grown kids, I guess, because I just graduated our young guests. 03:08.715 --> 03:16.618 [SPEAKER_01]: We were out of the high school biz, and we've got young adults in college students. 03:22.160 --> 03:27.862 [SPEAKER_01]: I love to go back and forth between both Texas and Tennessee, so that's a little bit about me. 03:28.082 --> 03:30.363 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, before we get into the research, which I really do. 03:30.883 --> 03:33.603 [SPEAKER_00]: How are you feeling about launching your last kid on the goodness? 03:33.924 --> 03:38.385 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, I am ready and not ready all at the same time. 03:39.505 --> 03:59.304 [SPEAKER_01]: In some ways, it feels like the teenage years kind of drag on and we're more challenging than I thought, maybe that'll come out in our conversation, but at the same time, I'm so excited for him and his next steps, you know, going to college and that kind of thing. 03:59.324 --> 04:01.747 [SPEAKER_01]: So it's a mixed emotions just to be honest. 04:02.868 --> 04:04.509 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, so many parts of parenting are mixed. 04:04.830 --> 04:05.570 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, the motion. 04:05.650 --> 04:06.030 [SPEAKER_00]: Or so. 04:06.511 --> 04:06.911 [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm. 04:07.311 --> 04:07.752 [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely. 04:08.092 --> 04:15.017 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I'm sure that will talk a lot more as we talk about the research and talking about discipling kids and teaching them all about Jesus' set home. 04:15.838 --> 04:17.840 [SPEAKER_00]: So I want to, we're going to get into the research a little bit. 04:17.860 --> 04:27.127 [SPEAKER_00]: So the research, you've done a lot of research at life way, but there's some specific research that looked at adults who have maintained like an active vibrant faith. 04:27.767 --> 04:31.829 [SPEAKER_00]: into adulthood and then you traced back the influences that shaped them. 04:31.929 --> 04:37.973 [SPEAKER_00]: So tell us about this study, what it kind of looked like and then maybe something surprising that you discovered. 04:38.113 --> 04:43.616 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so about 10 years ago, I was in the throes of parenting younger children. 04:44.696 --> 04:50.860 [SPEAKER_01]: As were several of my colleagues in leadership at the time and we were wanting to process 04:51.820 --> 05:07.985 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, could we figure out if there were some best practices that parents can do now in the parenting journey that most gives them the most bang for their book in a sense later on in life with their kids. 05:08.165 --> 05:14.767 [SPEAKER_01]: And so we developed with our research team a survey that surveyed empty nesters. 05:15.107 --> 05:15.427 [SPEAKER_01]: So. 05:16.287 --> 05:24.295 [SPEAKER_01]: mainly baby boomers, maybe some Gen X parents that were finished with their parenting journey, at least under their roofs. 05:24.675 --> 05:27.438 [SPEAKER_01]: You're never finished parenting journey. 05:27.498 --> 05:40.551 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, so, but we wanted to, um, ask them, um, all the things we asked them tons and tons of questions about what they did in the, and the years that they were raising kids at home. 05:41.231 --> 05:49.556 [SPEAKER_01]: Spiritual things, family activity things, school choices, sports, involvement, all of those things. 05:49.896 --> 05:57.280 [SPEAKER_01]: And then we also asked them questions about how are their young adult grown children doing now spiritually? 05:57.480 --> 06:03.644 [SPEAKER_01]: And so when we put all of those things in the mixed master of statistics and research, 06:04.424 --> 06:23.048 [SPEAKER_01]: uh, it was able to give us some insight and even kind of gave us a top 10 list of things that statistically show, um, if you do them, that, uh, there's, there's more of a chance that your children will thrive as, um, adults in their faith. 06:23.288 --> 06:23.548 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 06:23.848 --> 06:28.689 [SPEAKER_00]: I love this because it's research is statistics, but it's still, it's not a magic formula. 06:28.709 --> 06:30.009 [SPEAKER_00]: Like it's not saying 06:33.230 --> 06:39.713 [SPEAKER_00]: Follower of Jesus as adults, but it is a guide that says like we all have limited time We all have limited capacity. 06:39.753 --> 06:55.260 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you're gonna focus on some things here's some good things to focus on because we can't do it all Is much as we try you know I think we all try to beat all and do it all for our kids But let's look at the actual research like if we're gonna focus on some things what are things that we can focus focus on? 06:55.280 --> 07:00.242 [SPEAKER_00]: So what is the biggest impact on a child's face so you want to start with the biggest impact? 07:00.322 --> 07:01.723 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I want to start with the biggest impact 07:02.425 --> 07:02.969 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't care. 07:03.353 --> 07:03.635 [SPEAKER_01]: So. 07:06.222 --> 07:12.847 [SPEAKER_01]: When our research team came back to us with the results, they said, okay, here you can look at the top five, let's say. 07:13.987 --> 07:22.053 [SPEAKER_01]: The number one thing stands so far and beyond the others that it needs to be in its own category. 07:22.513 --> 07:34.582 [SPEAKER_01]: Like they encourage, if you're gonna publish articles and books about the research, try not to make it look like, okay, number one do this, number two do this, because number one is so far and above the others. 07:35.242 --> 07:39.745 [SPEAKER_01]: And so that number one thing that we can do is Bible reading. 07:40.125 --> 07:45.428 [SPEAKER_01]: And so, Steph, I have to tell you in your listeners a little bit of a confession. 07:45.748 --> 07:55.153 [SPEAKER_01]: When we got that back, here we are working for a Christian publishing company that is all about discipleship and evangelism. 07:55.854 --> 07:59.296 [SPEAKER_01]: And we get that number one thing back and it's Bible reading. 08:05.126 --> 08:07.687 [SPEAKER_01]: Could that be, you know, shouldn't that be obvious to us? 08:08.607 --> 08:13.669 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think, like I said, we were all in the throes of our own parenting journeys. 08:14.369 --> 08:24.252 [SPEAKER_01]: And it highlighted even in us that perhaps were chasing the wrong things, or were misprayortizing some things. 08:24.472 --> 08:31.834 [SPEAKER_01]: When the biggest thing that we can do is get our kids to know and love God's word from a very young age. 08:32.534 --> 08:38.377 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so walk us through a little bit since that's so significantly greater than the other things that we can do. 08:38.437 --> 08:43.220 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to talk about it a little bit, but in your opinion, like, what does that look like for kids of all ages? 08:43.260 --> 08:55.567 [SPEAKER_00]: Because I think teaching your kids about the Bible, getting them to read the Bible, getting them excited about the Bible, and applying it to their lives on their own, is going to look different for a toddler than for a high schooler, right? 08:55.587 --> 08:59.029 [SPEAKER_00]: So like, what does meaningful Bible engagement look like? 08:59.209 --> 08:59.449 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 08:59.789 --> 09:05.974 [SPEAKER_01]: So I like to think, you know, through every agent stage of childhood. 09:06.295 --> 09:18.465 [SPEAKER_01]: And so when you've got a baby and arms, what are, what are ways that you can start just planting seeds of foundations of loving God's word? 09:19.045 --> 09:25.330 [SPEAKER_01]: And so that can start by just reading over them Bible stories, or just speaking over them 09:27.452 --> 09:41.678 [SPEAKER_01]: and then as they're beginning to wiggle and squirm a little bit and are crawling and entering those toddler years or teething years, I like to say, give them those board books, those board books are meant to be smooth on. 09:43.058 --> 09:49.981 [SPEAKER_01]: There are so many that have little Bible stories in them that you can read together, but they can hold on to them. 09:50.601 --> 09:51.662 [SPEAKER_01]: They're not going to rip the pages, 09:52.902 --> 10:04.668 [SPEAKER_01]: Literally, two on God's Word, we can start giving those to them and saying, the Bible God's Word, God loves you and those simple truths. 10:04.748 --> 10:13.072 [SPEAKER_01]: And then just as they start aging up a little bit and can listen to a bedtime story, that's when all those beautiful storybook bibles. 10:13.112 --> 10:20.196 [SPEAKER_01]: There's so many high-quality doctrineally sound storybook bibles that do such a good job 10:22.817 --> 10:24.878 [SPEAKER_01]: the biblical truths in the text. 10:25.278 --> 10:43.564 [SPEAKER_01]: And so this is a great way to also, as moms and dads, maybe if we feel a little bit intimidated by, you know, a full text Bible and digging into that, those storybook Bibles are great ways for us to learn too, as it's absolutely. 10:44.584 --> 11:01.837 [SPEAKER_01]: I've learned a lot from those story about Bibles through the years and so you know start those healthy habits of doing bedtime stories that that include scripture and Bible stories and then just as they start to age up and 11:02.317 --> 11:07.340 [SPEAKER_01]: you know, I work with a lot of churches, variety of churches across the country. 11:07.960 --> 11:21.168 [SPEAKER_01]: And a lot of them will prioritize doing a Bible presentation, let's say, when they graduate from first grade or kindergarten, they're ready to maybe have their first full text Bible. 11:21.448 --> 11:22.328 [SPEAKER_01]: Now, can they read 11:27.071 --> 11:50.278 [SPEAKER_01]: not very many words, but we can start helping them cherish their bibles and take them with them to church and keep them in a safe place in their in their room and then learning how to open them and start start just kind of having that those early biblical literacy conversations about how the 11:52.459 --> 12:01.269 [SPEAKER_01]: one big story with 66 books and you know you open it to the middle and usually you get to Psalms and then you turn to the right and that's the new placement. 12:01.530 --> 12:06.115 [SPEAKER_01]: Genesis is that you're those early Bible skills kinds of things because here's the thing. 12:06.175 --> 12:09.018 [SPEAKER_01]: It is an ancient text that feels very intimidating. 12:09.058 --> 12:10.059 [SPEAKER_01]: Like I said, even too. 12:10.840 --> 12:12.943 [SPEAKER_01]: us as parents. 12:13.764 --> 12:29.664 [SPEAKER_01]: But the earlier we can start those foundational Bible skills, the more likely children are going to feel comfortable navigating the Bible so that hopefully the goal is that they can read it on their own and choose to read it on their own. 12:30.385 --> 12:41.077 [SPEAKER_01]: And so just like through every agent stage, we find ways to an in the age appropriate way, engage them with with these, um, Bible, Bibles and Bible resources. 12:41.358 --> 12:46.003 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, little by little and bit by bit because we don't have to dump it all at the same time, you know, right? 12:46.504 --> 12:47.205 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, exactly. 12:47.485 --> 12:50.827 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, tell me after Bible reading, since that's the most significant. 12:50.847 --> 12:55.970 [SPEAKER_00]: What are like three or four other significant things that parents can be doing with their kids? 12:56.190 --> 12:56.411 [SPEAKER_00]: Sure. 12:56.811 --> 12:58.432 [SPEAKER_01]: So number two was prayer. 12:58.752 --> 13:00.733 [SPEAKER_01]: Again, shouldn't we have known that? 13:01.073 --> 13:02.774 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, only God works transform. 13:02.794 --> 13:03.655 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's the Bible. 13:03.715 --> 13:05.796 [SPEAKER_01]: So yes, the Bible is number one. 13:06.237 --> 13:08.678 [SPEAKER_01]: And then number two, praying with your children. 13:08.818 --> 13:13.321 [SPEAKER_01]: And so again, starting those early habits of talking to God together. 13:14.743 --> 13:24.462 [SPEAKER_01]: and finding those rhythms in your day, and then a number three was this one was a little bit of a surprise to us about listening to Christian music. 13:25.582 --> 13:39.908 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I think the reason why this one was a surprise to us is because we a lot of people on this original research team are of an age group. 13:39.968 --> 13:43.470 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm a little bit older than you step that we remember. 13:44.430 --> 13:49.257 [SPEAKER_01]: They're being, you know, contemporary Christian music was becoming a big thing, kind of in the 80s. 13:50.018 --> 13:58.271 [SPEAKER_01]: And, and at that time, there was also kind of a campaign out there to get teenagers to stop listening to secular music. 13:59.312 --> 14:01.073 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I like to tell this story. 14:01.193 --> 14:06.418 [SPEAKER_01]: It's probably partially true, but it's kind of a caricature of what was going on at the time. 14:07.018 --> 14:25.913 [SPEAKER_01]: So I think there was a program or an evangelist, let's say, that when around churches and had a service where he kind of laid out all the horrible things about heavy metal music, rap music, all of the secular music, even pop music, 14:26.393 --> 14:33.695 [SPEAKER_01]: And then there was a time at the end where you could surrender all of your secular cassette tapes, CDs, whatever we had. 14:34.435 --> 14:38.076 [SPEAKER_01]: And so we remembered those things. 14:38.216 --> 14:51.020 [SPEAKER_01]: And so when we got the results of Christian music makes a difference, we were like, are we kind of free from all of those things, you know, where we felt like we had to listen to, but it turns out that it makes a big difference. 14:51.180 --> 14:53.841 [SPEAKER_01]: And here's why I think it makes a big difference. 14:55.781 --> 14:59.643 [SPEAKER_01]: worship music is going to have biblical truths in it. 14:59.983 --> 15:02.844 [SPEAKER_01]: And so that points back to number one, Bible. 15:03.064 --> 15:10.588 [SPEAKER_01]: And so when you're when you're singing, you know how it's so much easier to memorize things because music is so 15:11.968 --> 15:15.810 [SPEAKER_01]: transformative and compelling that we can remember things better with music. 15:16.130 --> 15:22.692 [SPEAKER_01]: And so if you're, and this is why we love to say, hey, we design those VBS songs to get stuck in your head for a reason. 15:23.252 --> 15:23.572 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. 15:24.072 --> 15:31.175 [SPEAKER_01]: Cool of scripture and biblical truths that we want kids to memorize and love and hide in their hearts. 15:31.235 --> 15:33.796 [SPEAKER_01]: So music is a great way to do that. 15:33.856 --> 15:37.437 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think it shows up on the list because it points back to number one. 15:37.757 --> 15:38.017 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 15:38.318 --> 15:38.598 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 15:38.678 --> 15:43.282 [SPEAKER_01]: So, and then two other significant ones I'll share, one was serving in church. 15:43.662 --> 15:50.207 [SPEAKER_01]: So, if you, can you find ways for your children to serve? 15:50.768 --> 15:57.453 [SPEAKER_01]: There's not a lot of opportunities usually where a child necessarily serves by themselves at church. 15:57.853 --> 15:59.275 [SPEAKER_01]: Now, I've been in a lot of kids 16:01.216 --> 16:21.022 [SPEAKER_01]: the some kids could be the creeders some kids could be you know have have roles to do so that's those are good ideas if there's if there's any um ministry leaders listening you know involved kids in serving but um but how can we engage you know at the family level for families to serve together? 16:21.282 --> 16:27.105 [SPEAKER_01]: So serving at church, but also it shows up and this is the last one I'll share in missions. 16:27.286 --> 16:42.975 [SPEAKER_01]: So doing mission projects, certainly mission trips, if maybe as a family, you could do something in the community together or just learning about sharing your faith and mission areas who do that. 16:43.335 --> 16:59.110 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, full time as a full time calling invocation, but all of those things that are in those serving and missions categories showed up in a big way in this survey of what we can do now that helps our kids as they grow into adults. 16:59.351 --> 16:59.631 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 16:59.831 --> 17:04.556 [SPEAKER_00]: What I think is so interesting about this is the first three are pretty simple and basic. 17:04.756 --> 17:06.037 [SPEAKER_00]: Like those are not hard things. 17:06.077 --> 17:07.799 [SPEAKER_00]: I know that Bible can be intimidating. 17:08.845 --> 17:10.226 [SPEAKER_00]: prayer can be intimidating. 17:10.506 --> 17:11.988 [SPEAKER_00]: Whistling to worship music is total. 17:12.368 --> 17:14.690 [SPEAKER_00]: I like always tell people that because I'm like, that's just passive. 17:14.770 --> 17:18.293 [SPEAKER_00]: You just turn it on in the car and you're doing something great for your kids. 17:18.313 --> 17:19.293 [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to do anything. 17:19.674 --> 17:25.738 [SPEAKER_00]: But even prayer and Bible reading once you get into the habit of it and their rhythm, like it's not that hard to incorporate into your life. 17:26.778 --> 17:30.041 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's just so easy to do once you're used to it. 17:30.541 --> 17:44.854 [SPEAKER_00]: And then those other two serving and missions are so hands on that it makes sense that that would be significant for your kids is because they're taking their faith at a young age with their family and parents and putting it into action. 17:45.294 --> 17:45.995 [SPEAKER_01]: Which is so cool. 17:46.255 --> 17:47.016 [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely. 17:47.036 --> 17:49.257 [SPEAKER_00]: And definitely things you can do together. 17:50.178 --> 17:50.819 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yes. 17:51.059 --> 17:52.520 [SPEAKER_01]: So many ideas for that. 17:52.641 --> 18:04.632 [SPEAKER_01]: And if we can focus our efforts and I think the biggest thing that this study showed us as a team is there's a lot of things that did not make the list. 18:05.212 --> 18:13.116 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, a lot of things that we chase as parents didn't necessarily show up as spiritual indicators later in life. 18:13.456 --> 18:17.078 [SPEAKER_01]: So, you know, and you could we could talk about a couple of those. 18:17.158 --> 18:19.480 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that it's a pretty some of those yeah for sure. 18:20.340 --> 18:32.163 [SPEAKER_01]: So, um, one for me was the choice of sending your child to, um, public school versus private Christian school versus homeschool. 18:32.503 --> 18:34.864 [SPEAKER_01]: So, I cannot spell you stuff. 18:35.104 --> 18:36.244 [SPEAKER_01]: How many hours? 18:36.464 --> 18:37.585 [SPEAKER_01]: I have three kids. 18:37.865 --> 18:41.025 [SPEAKER_01]: How many agonizing hours? 18:41.405 --> 18:45.106 [SPEAKER_01]: My husband and I spent trying to decide about school choice. 18:45.747 --> 18:46.287 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, 100%. 18:48.127 --> 18:59.331 [SPEAKER_01]: And listen, we've done a little bit of all of it, and but that does, none of that shows up necessarily that would highlight kids who go to this kind of school. 19:01.032 --> 19:05.413 [SPEAKER_01]: Definitely grow in their faith more than kids who go to this kind of school. 19:05.473 --> 19:10.235 [SPEAKER_01]: We could not statistically find a trend that would would highlight that. 19:10.575 --> 19:10.795 [SPEAKER_01]: So, 19:11.695 --> 19:13.536 [SPEAKER_01]: give yourself some grace. 19:13.676 --> 19:24.742 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I know we definitely need to make wise choices about those things, but give yourself some grace that regardless of where they go to school, these other things matter more. 19:25.102 --> 19:30.405 [SPEAKER_01]: And so that kind of helps us prioritize instead of making it all about that. 19:30.505 --> 19:36.127 [SPEAKER_01]: And another surprising thing that didn't make the list was things like sports. 19:37.428 --> 20:07.055 [SPEAKER_01]: sports and Just culturally We we chase that sports and involvement and even things like chasing good grades and Making sure your teenagers have a job all those things that are good things But and and again, we should make wise choices about those things and the all those things can point to other things But those statistically don't show up as indicators later on spiritually 20:07.415 --> 20:16.939 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but what I think is so free, yeah, it is, it really, and I think another one that's on that list that I thought was surprising was family dinners. 20:17.179 --> 20:21.201 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, man, that one has probably been the most controversial. 20:21.601 --> 20:23.602 [SPEAKER_01]: I have taught this so many times. 20:24.202 --> 20:29.745 [SPEAKER_01]: And when, when I tell people, guess what did it make the list and the first one I share is family meals together? 20:30.605 --> 20:33.666 [SPEAKER_01]: you know, I can feel the room kind of getting frustrated at me. 20:33.706 --> 20:49.390 [SPEAKER_01]: And I always have to say, you're going to see a lot of things that don't make the list that kind of mess with you, but remember that it's about if we are chasing the perfect Instagram Pinterest meal to have with our families. 20:49.510 --> 20:50.831 [SPEAKER_01]: We kind of make it about that. 20:50.891 --> 20:52.391 [SPEAKER_01]: And then we shame ourselves. 20:52.751 --> 20:56.472 [SPEAKER_01]: We didn't have our family meals this week because of all these other things. 20:56.512 --> 20:57.892 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, there's some, there's some 20:59.873 --> 21:05.155 [SPEAKER_01]: There's some grace in that and it helps us prioritize what we are chasing with our time. 21:05.355 --> 21:05.636 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 21:05.856 --> 21:12.158 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I think as Christian parents, our number one priority should be that our kids follow Jesus, right? 21:12.238 --> 21:13.959 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, yes, family meals. 21:13.999 --> 21:14.840 [SPEAKER_00]: It's been a time together. 21:14.860 --> 21:20.182 [SPEAKER_00]: It's going to make you closer as a family and hopefully make your relationships as they get older and 21:20.502 --> 21:29.570 [SPEAKER_00]: Good to be, your stage where you're launching them in the world, they're they want to come back and spend time with you, but it's important to remember that that isn't going to impact their faith that much. 21:29.910 --> 21:32.612 [SPEAKER_00]: May impact your family, but not their faith, right? 21:32.632 --> 21:34.174 [SPEAKER_00]: And so you can just think of it a little differently. 21:34.474 --> 21:35.335 [SPEAKER_00]: Ticks a little pressure off. 21:36.115 --> 21:37.076 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it really does. 21:37.296 --> 21:37.716 [SPEAKER_01]: What else? 21:37.796 --> 21:38.377 [SPEAKER_01]: Friendships. 21:38.697 --> 21:39.257 [SPEAKER_01]: Friendships. 21:39.277 --> 21:39.578 [SPEAKER_01]: Other. 21:40.038 --> 21:41.099 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, let's talk about that. 21:41.379 --> 21:41.639 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. 21:41.819 --> 21:46.843 [SPEAKER_01]: There's two, there are two key relational things that showed up in the survey. 21:47.624 --> 21:50.686 [SPEAKER_01]: Kids who grow up having a best friend at church. 21:51.407 --> 21:53.608 [SPEAKER_01]: And so it's worth. 21:55.429 --> 22:16.678 [SPEAKER_01]: fostering that, like finding ways to foster friendships at church, make a difference later in life because as at, you know, like my kids, they're making choices about, you know, I'm in college and I do I go to church on Sundays or you know what, no one's telling me I have to do I not go to church, you know, and I think if there are, um, 22:17.618 --> 22:27.263 [SPEAKER_01]: Healthy associations and that come from growing up in a church where you did have other friends who are an influence to follow Jesus. 22:27.563 --> 22:28.563 [SPEAKER_01]: That's what it's all about. 22:28.583 --> 22:31.084 [SPEAKER_01]: So it's not just having a friend at church. 22:31.825 --> 22:34.046 [SPEAKER_01]: It's about, did you have a friend that... 22:35.047 --> 22:36.208 [SPEAKER_01]: encouraged your faith. 22:36.489 --> 22:39.293 [SPEAKER_01]: And so those those things start really young. 22:39.313 --> 22:49.527 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think, you know, pursuing that together, whether that's families pursuing one another and, you know, there's a lot of research now showing that. 22:49.867 --> 23:06.610 [SPEAKER_01]: and light of the culture that we're in, it takes those collective relationships of families staying together so that when things like when do you get a phone and all of those things come up, you have like-minded people that you have surrounded yourselves with. 23:06.751 --> 23:15.632 [SPEAKER_01]: So it's, you know, you're making similar decisions, it's my point, but all the searches such a wonderful place for those kinds of things to start. 23:15.672 --> 23:18.073 [SPEAKER_01]: So friendships at church and then the other one, 23:19.033 --> 23:23.654 [SPEAKER_01]: godly intentional adults in the life of the child. 23:23.974 --> 23:27.415 [SPEAKER_01]: This is other than parents or family members. 23:27.916 --> 23:37.578 [SPEAKER_01]: This is a Sunday school teacher or a small group leader or somebody else that is intentionally pouring into the lives of our kids. 23:38.579 --> 23:43.380 [SPEAKER_01]: So that they are echoing the same truths that we're saying at home. 23:47.001 --> 23:49.002 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we're starting to see that with our older kids. 23:49.122 --> 24:04.586 [SPEAKER_00]: Like some of the friendships that we have as parents are a really good friends pouring into our kids as they get older that I'd just been so, and we've intentionally decided as friends we're gonna raise our kids together, but seeing it actually come to fruition has been such a gift. 24:04.666 --> 24:10.652 [SPEAKER_01]: because it's really important, it's so is, and that is the body of Christ in action. 24:10.992 --> 24:12.093 [SPEAKER_01]: So I'll give you a hearing one. 24:12.333 --> 24:12.593 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 24:13.034 --> 24:16.297 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, tell me a little bit about, let's talk about the older kids. 24:16.637 --> 24:23.984 [SPEAKER_00]: So high school, my oldest is going to high school, and he's switching from a Christian private school to a public school, and so there's going to be. 24:24.284 --> 24:40.494 [SPEAKER_00]: a little bit of a difference there, and then so high school to college to young adults like based on your research and just your experience as a mom, like what are some indicators that a child is like developing a faith that's becoming their own, like they're on the right track, right? 24:41.135 --> 24:49.160 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, not to be too obvious, but I think them returning to God's word. 24:49.780 --> 24:58.243 [SPEAKER_01]: in craving that, because high schools when, you know, they're going to inevitably come across in middle school and high school. 24:58.623 --> 25:11.368 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, some kind of, whether it's friend issues or loneliness is such a big thing that our kiddos deal with, and adults, or some other kind of crisis, 25:13.650 --> 25:16.154 [SPEAKER_01]: where are they going to for those answers? 25:16.334 --> 25:27.531 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think being able to point them to scripture, let's dive into scripture together, but as they get older, watching what they do to look for those answers. 25:28.813 --> 25:31.235 [SPEAKER_01]: we just, I'll share this. 25:32.236 --> 25:38.021 [SPEAKER_01]: We just got back a new study and it's, we have not been able to dive a new research study. 25:38.041 --> 25:44.127 [SPEAKER_01]: We have not been able to dive into and call out all the results yet, but just an early read. 25:45.228 --> 25:50.773 [SPEAKER_01]: This Bible number one Bible reading thing is holding true. 25:50.913 --> 25:51.373 [SPEAKER_01]: So this is a 25:56.430 --> 26:01.832 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, and said, what, what was it for you looking back in your spiritual journey? 26:01.872 --> 26:05.853 [SPEAKER_01]: So their fresh out of maybe high school fresh out of college. 26:05.873 --> 26:07.893 [SPEAKER_01]: So like my daughter just graduated college. 26:07.973 --> 26:09.134 [SPEAKER_01]: It'd be like her age group. 26:09.174 --> 26:13.235 [SPEAKER_01]: She's 23, you know, my middle son is 20, you know, it's, 26:13.995 --> 26:16.118 [SPEAKER_01]: all the way up until I think age 28. 26:16.138 --> 26:25.128 [SPEAKER_01]: So that a variety of young adult ages, what was it for you that you would say looking back is what has sustained your faith? 26:25.188 --> 26:29.613 [SPEAKER_01]: And then it even asks questions about what what would you advise parents today to do? 26:29.633 --> 26:32.496 [SPEAKER_01]: And yes, showing up the Bible. 26:33.492 --> 26:45.674 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think in light of AI and all of the things just the mixed messages that our kids and all of us are inundated with, is this true? 26:46.295 --> 26:48.335 [SPEAKER_01]: Is what I'm seeing here true? 26:48.435 --> 26:49.615 [SPEAKER_01]: Is that a true image? 26:49.675 --> 26:51.696 [SPEAKER_01]: Is that a true message? 26:51.996 --> 26:54.456 [SPEAKER_01]: All of those things, our kids are gonna be wrestling with. 26:54.676 --> 27:00.457 [SPEAKER_01]: Especially our genophic kids, we know are not only digital natives, they're AI natives, they're never gonna know a girl. 27:00.817 --> 27:02.738 [SPEAKER_01]: And so those questions, is it true? 27:04.099 --> 27:07.944 [SPEAKER_01]: what can we always point back to that we know is true? 27:09.005 --> 27:18.096 [SPEAKER_01]: God's work, and that to me was really reaffirming of what we have found out in the nothing less study. 27:18.296 --> 27:18.596 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 27:18.837 --> 27:20.358 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, two questions to wrap us up. 27:20.719 --> 27:22.020 [SPEAKER_00]: One kind of base of what you just said. 27:22.781 --> 27:30.748 [SPEAKER_00]: So after research with families and then this new research you have coming out, what gives you most hope for the next generation's faith? 27:30.948 --> 27:32.529 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 27:33.030 --> 27:42.778 [SPEAKER_01]: I think that whole issue of what is true is going to maybe even earlier than a normal faith journey. 27:43.118 --> 27:44.899 [SPEAKER_01]: Push kids to question that. 27:45.800 --> 27:54.965 [SPEAKER_01]: And that is going to give the church an opportunity, families, an opportunity to say, okay, we don't even know if that's true. 27:55.045 --> 27:57.107 [SPEAKER_01]: But let's look at what is true. 27:57.407 --> 28:00.809 [SPEAKER_01]: And those are back to those early messages about the Bible. 28:00.889 --> 28:02.690 [SPEAKER_01]: This is God's word. 28:03.090 --> 28:05.011 [SPEAKER_01]: And what it says is 100% true. 28:14.436 --> 28:17.077 [SPEAKER_01]: cultural dynamic is the search for truth. 28:17.398 --> 28:26.601 [SPEAKER_01]: And so, you know, teenagers for centuries, that's kind of their, that's kind of their coming out on their own of seeking truth, you know? 28:26.621 --> 28:38.406 [SPEAKER_01]: And so sometimes teenagers for truth in other places, you know, maybe it's like back in my day, we were listening to, you know, heavy metal when we weren't supposed to. 28:38.526 --> 28:39.966 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why that keeps giving up. 28:40.347 --> 28:40.667 [SPEAKER_01]: I was. 28:41.627 --> 28:43.908 [SPEAKER_01]: I was listening to our reaction, that's what I'm going to say. 28:43.928 --> 28:45.209 [SPEAKER_00]: That's what I'm going to say. 28:45.229 --> 28:46.770 [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I'm going to say. 28:46.790 --> 28:48.231 [SPEAKER_01]: I was listening to our reaction. 28:48.251 --> 28:49.451 [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I'm going to say. 28:49.531 --> 28:50.452 [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I'm going to say. 28:50.472 --> 28:51.753 [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I'm going to say. 28:51.793 --> 28:52.633 [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I'm going to say. 28:52.673 --> 28:53.754 [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I'm going to say. 28:53.774 --> 28:54.794 [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I'm going to say. 28:54.814 --> 28:55.615 [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I'm going to say. 28:55.675 --> 28:57.616 [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I'm going to say. 29:06.040 --> 29:09.642 [SPEAKER_01]: And your parents are listening wondering, what is next? 29:09.742 --> 29:16.305 [SPEAKER_01]: I think those conversations, identity and Christ, and God's Word is true, and that's what we always go back to. 29:16.325 --> 29:23.768 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think for Jen Alpha, and very soon, Jen Beta is there gonna be, you know, I think they're one year old now. 29:26.150 --> 29:32.314 [SPEAKER_01]: They're going to be seeking truth now more than ever, and we have the opportunity to always point them to God's word. 29:32.514 --> 29:37.498 [SPEAKER_00]: And that is scary, but a really exciting opportunity, again, for the church and for families. 29:37.778 --> 29:46.925 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's amazing that we have so much access to resources to help us with that, because we do have a curious and hungry generation that we're raising for sure. 29:47.546 --> 29:48.006 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 29:48.447 --> 29:48.727 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 29:49.965 --> 30:01.735 [SPEAKER_00]: For the parent who's listening, who feels like, maybe they may mistake or they're not comfortable with their Bible with prayer or discipleship, like they just don't really know what they're doing, what would kind of your encouragement be for them? 30:01.815 --> 30:09.222 [SPEAKER_00]: Or like, what's the simple step that they could take to start focusing on the most important things to raise their kids to follow Jesus? 30:10.127 --> 30:11.627 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I love that. 30:12.007 --> 30:20.369 [SPEAKER_01]: Like I said earlier, there was some wake-up calls for me, my family, just in doing this study. 30:21.969 --> 30:27.570 [SPEAKER_01]: Kind of had a panic moment, like my goodness, I have made it about all these other things. 30:28.210 --> 30:32.231 [SPEAKER_01]: And here, right in front of us was the answer all along. 30:32.331 --> 30:36.992 [SPEAKER_01]: Like if we could put as much time effort into 30:38.772 --> 30:53.179 [SPEAKER_01]: wrestling with the scriptures as much as we wrestle with what school we should go to or what involvement yes you know that was a wake-up call for me um there's a chapter in the book that says we're chasing the wrong things 30:54.687 --> 31:09.668 [SPEAKER_01]: And what I want your listeners to know is that I think we've all experienced that and so if you're feeling that don't feel the enemy would want you to feel shame and defeated in that and and and you know 31:10.068 --> 31:19.732 [SPEAKER_01]: not want to give it a shot to make it about things that are transformational, but don't listen to those voices. 31:21.073 --> 31:31.337 [SPEAKER_01]: Just know that, like you said, stuff, if we make it simple, I think that that have the family dinners and just keep a devotional in the middle of the table. 31:31.677 --> 31:51.481 [SPEAKER_01]: I still do this with the mom, but listen, wrestling teenagers is a little bit like wrestling talkative to the table, teenagers are on their own schedules, sometimes they're on their own eating styles, you know, maybe once a vegan for a while, you know, whatever, once a gluten-free for a while, and it's like, here's what we're having to eat. 31:51.821 --> 31:53.441 [SPEAKER_01]: So one of that really goes away. 31:53.561 --> 31:54.201 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry. 31:55.502 --> 31:57.222 [SPEAKER_01]: But, but have something 31:57.662 --> 32:13.409 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, there's so many resources, little decks of cards that have spiritual questions or a burst that you can just read out loud and, and, you know, talk about what it means, and a lot of resources help guide those conversations. 32:13.870 --> 32:17.571 [SPEAKER_01]: I want to help everyone feel free from having to do. 32:19.332 --> 32:20.433 [SPEAKER_01]: Father knows best. 32:20.653 --> 32:29.521 [SPEAKER_01]: I used to think that the devotionals had to be okay and now children we will circle around and totally. 32:29.902 --> 32:36.768 [SPEAKER_01]: And Father will read open the word, you know, the huge family Bible that you get when you're maybe when you get married or whatever. 32:36.828 --> 32:38.730 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know an altar Bible. 32:40.951 --> 33:02.056 [SPEAKER_01]: Like that is get that picture out of your head because that that's what's defeating is we think it has to look like that and it could just be that devotional on the table that you get to read a quick snapshot of or having some conversations in the car. 33:03.476 --> 33:04.877 [SPEAKER_01]: Another piece of the research talked about 33:10.538 --> 33:28.451 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, just, you know, nature pointing out nature and how God created the world for kids to hear that from a very young age and understand when they see the beautiful clouds or the birds and the trees, you know, all of those things, we point back to our creator. 33:34.055 --> 33:47.041 [SPEAKER_01]: point out just biblical truth is also an as you go kind of mindset, a dude, dude around me six in the waking up and lying down and as you walk down the road, which for most of us that's doing carpool. 33:48.242 --> 33:59.027 [SPEAKER_01]: And those are great times to have those kinds of conversations, especially as kids get older, preteen years, they don't want to talk, they don't want to tell you how their day was, you can't get anything out of them, 33:59.827 --> 34:06.711 [SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes it's easier to have those kinds of conversations when you're driving, they're in the backseat. 34:06.751 --> 34:13.535 [SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to look eye to eye and tell me all about your day. 34:13.875 --> 34:22.059 [SPEAKER_01]: They don't want to do that, but maybe there are some deeper conversations that can happen in that kind of scenario. 34:23.240 --> 34:27.345 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, like use, I think you set it great stuff about just keeping it simple. 34:27.426 --> 34:31.391 [SPEAKER_01]: And if we can remember, God's word is the only thing that can transform hearts. 34:32.071 --> 34:36.357 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, and so that we continue to go back to Bible and prayer, start there. 34:36.597 --> 34:36.837 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 34:37.178 --> 34:37.358 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 34:37.418 --> 34:38.359 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's not up to us. 34:38.620 --> 34:40.262 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's God's word that transforms. 34:40.582 --> 34:42.123 [SPEAKER_00]: not us as much as we would love to. 34:43.043 --> 34:43.323 [SPEAKER_01]: Wow. 34:43.743 --> 34:49.125 [SPEAKER_01]: Or an wish like you said, there is no, there's no silver bull at there's no recipe. 34:49.825 --> 34:51.446 [SPEAKER_01]: That is foolproof. 34:52.546 --> 35:03.510 [SPEAKER_01]: But if we want our kids to thrive in their faith, then getting them in the scriptures and allowing the Holy Spirit to do his work through his word is, yeah, the best thing. 35:03.610 --> 35:03.790 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. 35:04.170 --> 35:04.390 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 35:05.071 --> 35:10.175 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, we're going to spend the next few weeks really diving into some of those things and getting super practical with parents. 35:10.375 --> 35:11.577 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm really excited about it. 35:12.137 --> 35:15.020 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, so hopefully people still tune in to hear all about that. 35:15.080 --> 35:22.246 [SPEAKER_00]: But before we go, can you tell us where we can connect with you and find more of the research where we can find nothing less all that that stuff. 35:22.426 --> 35:22.766 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. 35:23.627 --> 35:27.851 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, if you want to connect with me personally, you can follow me on Instagram. 35:27.871 --> 35:30.793 [SPEAKER_01]: I'd love to interact with people at Janna Mag. 35:32.114 --> 35:37.959 [SPEAKER_01]: And then everything that I've mentioned here can be found at lifeway.com slash kids. 35:38.039 --> 35:45.606 [SPEAKER_01]: Lifeway.com is kind of your big place where you can find all the, all the things, Bibles, Bible studies, all the things books. 35:46.446 --> 35:51.090 [SPEAKER_01]: But for specifically kids and things like that, you can go to lifeboat.com slash kids. 35:51.451 --> 35:53.732 [SPEAKER_01]: Nothing less is on the website. 35:53.873 --> 35:55.854 [SPEAKER_01]: I will say, write this minute. 35:55.934 --> 35:56.955 [SPEAKER_01]: It is out of print. 35:58.056 --> 36:00.298 [SPEAKER_01]: But it's being reprinted as we speak. 36:00.358 --> 36:02.039 [SPEAKER_01]: And so maybe give it a couple of weeks. 36:02.120 --> 36:04.802 [SPEAKER_01]: And then it'll be back up. 36:04.922 --> 36:05.462 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 36:05.522 --> 36:08.105 [SPEAKER_00]: OK, I'll link all that and show notes that people can easily find it. 36:08.485 --> 36:12.588 [SPEAKER_00]: But I really appreciate all the research that you've done, everything that you're putting out there. 36:12.728 --> 36:14.310 [SPEAKER_00]: And just spending some time with me today. 36:14.570 --> 36:16.151 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, thank you so much for inviting me. 36:17.771 --> 36:20.472 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, what a great way to kick off the series. 36:20.552 --> 36:24.233 [SPEAKER_00]: I hope that today's conversation leaves you feeling encouraged and not overwhelmed. 36:24.634 --> 36:30.176 [SPEAKER_00]: The research really does remind us that we don't have to chase every single parenting trend or strive for perfection. 36:30.716 --> 36:33.157 [SPEAKER_00]: We can faithfully invest in the things that truly matter. 36:33.377 --> 36:39.559 [SPEAKER_00]: God's Word, prayer, worship, and creating everyday opportunities to point our kids towards Jesus. 36:39.959 --> 36:48.324 [SPEAKER_00]: So over the next several weeks, we're going to unpack each of these practices and get really practical about what they can look like in your home no matter the ages of your kids. 36:48.725 --> 36:50.946 [SPEAKER_00]: And next week, we are starting off with scripture. 36:51.286 --> 36:53.668 [SPEAKER_00]: So make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss an episode. 36:54.028 --> 37:00.092 [SPEAKER_00]: I have links to Janelle Liveway, then nothing less research and all the resources that we talked about in today's show help. 37:00.212 --> 37:01.173 [SPEAKER_00]: So go check that out. 37:01.493 --> 37:05.836 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for listening and always thank you for inviting us into your parenting journey. 37:06.815 --> 37:10.577 [SPEAKER_00]: May you remember this week that God loves your children even more than you do. 37:11.037 --> 37:18.341 [SPEAKER_00]: May he give you peace when you've been carrying pressure, confidence where you've been feeling uncertain, enjoy in this small, ordinary moments of this friendship.