WEBVTT 00:03.735 --> 00:06.197 [SPEAKER_01]: I love this love Riverside. 00:06.637 --> 00:07.657 [SPEAKER_01]: She had tri-flimbed. 00:07.738 --> 00:08.258 [SPEAKER_01]: Riverside. 00:08.378 --> 00:09.298 [SPEAKER_01]: She'd be tri-flimbed. 00:11.880 --> 00:17.003 [SPEAKER_02]: Riverside is going to hear you and they're going to make you feel your subscription is not going to work one day and they're going to be like... 00:17.023 --> 00:17.303 [SPEAKER_01]: I know. 00:17.723 --> 00:18.504 [SPEAKER_02]: We don't know what happened. 00:19.124 --> 00:21.025 [SPEAKER_01]: This Riverside is a pet peeve. 00:21.105 --> 00:22.026 [SPEAKER_01]: It messes up all the time. 00:22.446 --> 00:23.947 [SPEAKER_01]: Yesterday kicked my guest out. 00:23.987 --> 00:25.228 [SPEAKER_01]: We have to re-record today. 00:26.278 --> 00:27.158 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, episode. 00:27.538 --> 00:33.320 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I want to record the whole episode because I messed up again and forgot to put my mic over for the first time. 00:34.060 --> 00:34.861 [SPEAKER_01]: I know, really dumb. 00:35.361 --> 00:36.001 [SPEAKER_01]: Really bad. 00:36.201 --> 00:37.522 [SPEAKER_02]: You're a veteran at this point. 00:37.542 --> 00:38.602 [SPEAKER_02]: This shouldn't be happening. 00:39.202 --> 00:40.643 [SPEAKER_01]: I've done it three times that. 00:41.123 --> 00:41.823 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what's wrong with. 00:41.923 --> 00:42.283 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm kidding. 00:42.383 --> 00:43.023 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just tired. 00:43.043 --> 00:43.764 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you, stress. 00:44.404 --> 00:44.684 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 00:44.944 --> 00:46.324 [SPEAKER_02]: Welcome to tea time. 00:46.404 --> 00:48.245 [SPEAKER_02]: We're back for another Patreon exclusive 00:54.607 --> 00:56.528 [SPEAKER_01]: Very different. 00:56.548 --> 00:57.029 [SPEAKER_02]: 100%. 00:57.509 --> 01:00.551 [SPEAKER_02]: Jamie, what's your T this week? 01:00.992 --> 01:03.273 [SPEAKER_01]: My T this week, my T this week. 01:03.954 --> 01:08.097 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, do we want to talk about like one of my big pet peeves lately? 01:08.397 --> 01:11.299 [SPEAKER_02]: Overall, T, life, tea, pet peeves give it to me. 01:11.619 --> 01:12.280 [SPEAKER_02]: Talk to me about it. 01:12.822 --> 01:22.186 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, you know, you know, I've talked to Dianne about, you know, like when booking this show and how guests will like reach out to me, um, guess. 01:22.306 --> 01:22.586 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 01:22.666 --> 01:24.967 [SPEAKER_01]: So, all right, y'all are going to hear the behind the scenes. 01:27.228 --> 01:27.988 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to be real. 01:28.008 --> 01:35.631 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to be honest because when I have my guests on, of course, I'm always super grateful that they're here and I and I do love every single one of them. 01:36.858 --> 01:52.043 [SPEAKER_01]: and also there are many people who because the show is more well-known and it really is such a niche audience and there are people who know that this audience is perfect for 01:53.577 --> 01:56.219 [SPEAKER_01]: whatever it is they want to share about. 01:57.320 --> 02:01.443 [SPEAKER_01]: I will get a lot of people reaching out asking to come on the show. 02:01.804 --> 02:12.932 [SPEAKER_01]: A lot of people who have like a book or a lot of people who have something that would be good for the audience and I vet these people and I make sure that whatever if it is somebody who really wants to. 02:13.713 --> 02:23.725 [SPEAKER_01]: push their wares, so to speak, I make sure that it is really a good fit for the audience, like I would never, like, you know, like I care about my audience and I want to make sure it's a good fit. 02:23.766 --> 02:25.588 [SPEAKER_01]: And so if it's a good fit, I bring them in. 02:26.409 --> 02:28.892 [SPEAKER_01]: And when I do that, I have so many, 02:30.033 --> 02:35.036 [SPEAKER_01]: have little tests like set up along the way for these guests because they reach out. 02:35.377 --> 02:52.127 [SPEAKER_01]: The first sentence is always, and I know it's AI, I know it's AI generated, but oh my god, I love your recent episode, but Tiani where you talked about such and such that the comparisons you make, you know like they have, they'll they'll tell me how much they love my show and how much they love listening to a particular episode and why. 02:52.727 --> 02:53.428 [SPEAKER_01]: Then I have a 02:57.030 --> 03:05.681 [SPEAKER_01]: And in the in the questionnaire, it says one of the questions that gives me a sense of if you've actually listened is what would your 30 second elevator page be. 03:06.783 --> 03:13.872 [SPEAKER_01]: If you don't know if you answer that question weird like some people give me like a press release. 03:15.537 --> 03:40.924 [SPEAKER_01]: Like some people like like they go to chat and they're like give me a 30 second elevator pitch for the clear family podcast and then the clear family podcast like and then chat like comes up so it'll be like a it's like a paragraph like a reporter would say yeah as opposed to what the 30 second elevator pitches right so that's my first that on the show at the beginning of every episode you do a 30 second elevator pitch. 03:41.686 --> 03:42.206 [SPEAKER_01]: exactly. 03:42.267 --> 03:43.107 [SPEAKER_01]: They don't know what it is. 03:43.628 --> 03:45.069 [SPEAKER_01]: That's my first telltale sign. 03:45.409 --> 03:50.473 [SPEAKER_01]: And then my last question is is a question that really gives me an idea. 03:50.733 --> 04:05.043 [SPEAKER_01]: Who do you like better, Helen or Bula, with an emoji, like, and the people who really have listened give me funny responses back, because they know. 04:05.244 --> 04:06.845 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, that's such a good wedding question. 04:07.687 --> 04:08.027 [SPEAKER_00]: Uh-huh. 04:08.527 --> 04:08.908 [SPEAKER_00]: Uh-huh. 04:09.328 --> 04:26.195 [SPEAKER_02]: So I know coming in, if so I know from the questionnaire, if you've actually listed, then what are some of the responses you've gotten to the Helen and Bula question when you know you can tell they don't know the show where they haven't listed to an episode. 04:26.215 --> 04:26.815 [SPEAKER_02]: What do they say? 04:26.835 --> 04:27.975 [SPEAKER_02]: Because they're probably so confused. 04:27.995 --> 04:29.696 [SPEAKER_02]: They're like who the hell is Helen and Bula? 04:30.120 --> 04:30.840 [SPEAKER_01]: They have no idea. 04:30.920 --> 04:49.529 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so a lot of a lot of people will be like, oh, don't make me choose right or like, or they'll say not sure or they'll say so hard to like it's very vague that give me like a vague answer, but the people who've listened will be like obviously Ellen because she's been around long as and I like whiskey too. 04:49.649 --> 04:50.249 [SPEAKER_01]: You know what I mean? 04:50.269 --> 04:55.712 [SPEAKER_01]: Like the people who listen no because they know the jokes I tell about the fake Helen in view of you. 04:55.792 --> 04:56.312 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 04:56.932 --> 05:01.975 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so and before that when my when Nicole used to help me, I added Nicole to it too. 05:02.315 --> 05:05.856 [SPEAKER_01]: And so the people who listen would be like obviously Nicole because she's the only real one, right? 05:05.916 --> 05:07.077 [SPEAKER_02]: So like, okay. 05:07.937 --> 05:09.378 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's my it's my way. 05:09.618 --> 05:12.480 [SPEAKER_01]: Now y'all, you're all are getting the inside of track here. 05:13.260 --> 05:15.321 [SPEAKER_02]: So do you just not listen to those people then? 05:15.541 --> 05:17.582 [SPEAKER_02]: Do you like, okay, I'm not going to read that person? 05:18.142 --> 05:23.185 [SPEAKER_01]: No, because if it's a really good fit for the show, I will still go forward with them. 05:23.425 --> 05:31.592 [SPEAKER_01]: But then, but then, Dionne, I have, I have an email I send out to every, once I decide that, okay, you're a good fit. 05:31.932 --> 05:34.314 [SPEAKER_01]: I send an email saying, oh my god, congrats. 05:34.635 --> 05:37.457 [SPEAKER_01]: I would love to have you on for the season, blah, blah, blah. 05:37.957 --> 05:42.721 [SPEAKER_01]: Here's the just, here's the booking link and the book, and so then the book, they're spot. 05:42.842 --> 05:46.264 [SPEAKER_01]: And then my next email back to them is thank you so much for booking. 05:46.324 --> 05:48.026 [SPEAKER_01]: Here's your remote recording instructions. 05:48.066 --> 05:48.827 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm very detailed. 05:49.487 --> 05:55.911 [SPEAKER_01]: And also, please make sure you listen to a few episodes before you come into record. 05:56.611 --> 06:00.873 [SPEAKER_01]: Also, please make sure you follow on the socials and do all the things, right? 06:01.154 --> 06:06.797 [SPEAKER_01]: But I make a point of saying, please listen, like I'm doing my homework on you. 06:07.597 --> 06:07.837 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 06:08.278 --> 06:09.118 [SPEAKER_01]: Do your homework. 06:09.158 --> 06:21.027 [SPEAKER_01]: Why did you add you you just did like a Google search and found this to be the best podcast for whatever you're pushing and You want to come on, but then you're not going to go forward and do your homework like I don't understand that. 06:21.447 --> 06:24.649 [SPEAKER_01]: Like if I'm going to be on a show, I'm going to listen to this show, right? 06:24.669 --> 06:35.237 [SPEAKER_01]: So any of you then I it's obvious to me then of course we get there we get to the interview and I'm chatting with them before and I'm like so you know about the elevator pitch moment. 06:36.117 --> 06:37.138 [SPEAKER_01]: So, oh, so you've listened. 06:38.339 --> 06:40.401 [SPEAKER_01]: I've seen, I've seen, yeah, I've seen some of them. 06:40.862 --> 06:44.045 [SPEAKER_01]: And I have also learned when they say that they're talking about the clips on social media. 06:44.245 --> 06:48.629 [SPEAKER_01]: They've checked out some of the clips, which is not actually listened to the entire show. 06:49.240 --> 06:50.781 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, everybody's getting the tea right now. 06:50.841 --> 06:54.022 [SPEAKER_01]: You see, I have feel, you see, I have feelings. 06:54.102 --> 06:55.883 [SPEAKER_01]: I put a lot of work into this show. 06:55.963 --> 06:57.163 [SPEAKER_02]: No, it's so bad. 06:57.403 --> 06:57.803 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 06:58.124 --> 06:58.504 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 06:58.804 --> 07:04.506 [SPEAKER_01]: And every episode costs me money to produce my pay to produce your episode. 07:04.886 --> 07:09.488 [SPEAKER_01]: Like do me the service of just kind of like doing a little bit for it. 07:09.988 --> 07:11.909 [SPEAKER_01]: So then, yeah, listen, okay. 07:11.929 --> 07:13.230 [SPEAKER_01]: So you know the elevator pitch moment. 07:15.736 --> 07:24.405 [SPEAKER_01]: Could you, and then I'm like, uh-huh, okay, right, so then, and then they're like, and then they're off caught off guard because they're like, oh, oh, I have to say it. 07:24.445 --> 07:25.005 [SPEAKER_01]: I have to cut. 07:25.045 --> 07:27.328 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm going to put you on spot. 07:28.558 --> 07:39.425 [SPEAKER_02]: Is that like, and then that's like you'll like a little bit of karma because now they're put on the spot and they're like, I have to say something and you're like, well, you should have listened to the show because you would have known right exactly. 07:39.445 --> 07:40.205 [SPEAKER_01]: I told you listen. 07:40.245 --> 07:42.747 [SPEAKER_01]: I count with times in the questionnaire. 07:42.767 --> 07:45.369 [SPEAKER_01]: I say, please make sure you listen in every email. 07:45.409 --> 07:48.291 [SPEAKER_01]: Please make sure you've listened like now it's on you. 07:48.431 --> 07:48.631 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 07:48.791 --> 07:49.571 [SPEAKER_02]: And now you know. 07:51.053 --> 08:01.868 [SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, so that's it's you there and then so and then there's also like People who come on as experts in clear family building or something 08:02.463 --> 08:11.085 [SPEAKER_01]: Right, or their version of queer family build right, not knowing not realizing that I have done over 300 episodes. 08:11.125 --> 08:20.347 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not saying I never say I'm an expert, but I have spoken to over 300 couples or people about their family building journey. 08:20.447 --> 08:25.129 [SPEAKER_01]: So I do know quite a bit about the story you're about to tell me. 08:25.149 --> 08:30.770 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, even if I don't know your story, I know quite a bit about the the steps and the details. 08:31.250 --> 08:42.360 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, because like each person's personal experience is going to look different, but it's still some variation of somewhat of the same thing because there's only so many ways queer people can make a baby. 08:43.199 --> 08:44.660 [SPEAKER_01]: Right, every story is completely different. 08:44.821 --> 08:47.183 [SPEAKER_01]: And also, there are some things. 08:47.203 --> 08:48.384 [SPEAKER_01]: Samarities, yeah. 08:48.624 --> 08:49.305 [SPEAKER_01]: And there are questions. 08:49.445 --> 08:51.207 [SPEAKER_01]: I know what questions to ask. 08:51.367 --> 08:52.588 [SPEAKER_01]: Like if it's a surrogacy journey. 08:52.828 --> 08:54.430 [SPEAKER_01]: I, yes, I understand the process. 08:55.110 --> 08:57.332 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm going to walk you through this interview. 08:57.653 --> 08:58.473 [SPEAKER_01]: But there are some. 08:58.814 --> 09:00.255 [SPEAKER_01]: There was this one man's planer. 09:00.816 --> 09:01.997 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not naming any names. 09:02.858 --> 09:05.020 [SPEAKER_01]: Who, when I explain the elevator pitch. 09:06.422 --> 09:09.664 [SPEAKER_01]: was caught off guard, but it was also, oh yeah, but got that up final. 09:09.944 --> 09:10.784 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, cool. 09:11.565 --> 09:21.829 [SPEAKER_01]: And then for seated to do some crazy elevator pit, like when people, and then in the elevator, okay, yeah, I mean, this is the team. 09:21.869 --> 09:23.670 [SPEAKER_01]: And then in the elevator pitch, when