WEBVTT 00:05.299 --> 00:08.603 [SPEAKER_00]: Hi guys, welcome back to the I don't gap podcasts. 00:08.723 --> 00:09.745 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm your host, Oni B. 00:09.865 --> 00:11.968 [SPEAKER_00]: If you're new here, hi, welcome. 00:12.128 --> 00:13.249 [SPEAKER_00]: What's up, you guys? 00:13.369 --> 00:14.431 [SPEAKER_00]: I hope you're doing good today. 00:14.491 --> 00:15.532 [SPEAKER_00]: Hope you're having a good day. 00:15.552 --> 00:20.699 [SPEAKER_00]: I just first want to start up by saying, thank you so much for all the love on the first episode. 00:20.719 --> 00:21.039 [SPEAKER_00]: I... 00:21.940 --> 00:23.302 [SPEAKER_00]: was honestly so overwhelmed. 00:23.442 --> 00:32.493 [SPEAKER_00]: I was really excited to bring back the podcasts, but also a little nervous because I didn't know, like if anyone, I mean, I know you guys care you've been asking me for it, but I don't know. 00:32.673 --> 00:36.738 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just like one thing to do at and then it's another thing to see. 00:37.299 --> 00:39.402 [SPEAKER_00]: reaction afterwards, so I'm so grateful for that. 00:40.703 --> 00:43.887 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and second of all, can we talk about my cutie martini shirt? 00:43.927 --> 00:44.628 [SPEAKER_00]: Are we seeing this? 00:45.228 --> 00:47.891 [SPEAKER_00]: I have been on such a vintage kick recently. 00:47.911 --> 00:51.215 [SPEAKER_00]: I've been just like getting so many vintage secondhand things. 00:51.315 --> 00:54.198 [SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, today we're going to do a little get to know me episode. 00:54.299 --> 00:56.361 [SPEAKER_00]: I figured that this would be really fun and... 00:57.547 --> 00:59.928 [SPEAKER_00]: I just made one of these videos for my TikTok. 00:59.988 --> 01:05.910 [SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, I don't know if I've ever really sat down in one spot and just like talked about myself. 01:05.930 --> 01:09.071 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think I've ever done that before, other than today. 01:09.611 --> 01:22.055 [SPEAKER_00]: So I figured that we could do a little who I am, kind of like my story and just fill you in on my life a little bit and then within all of that, I will chat about some things that I've learned along the way or just like, you know, little, 01:23.115 --> 01:24.718 [SPEAKER_00]: tidbits as always. 01:24.859 --> 01:26.642 [SPEAKER_00]: So let's get into it. 01:26.662 --> 01:28.205 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like today's going to be really fun. 01:28.245 --> 01:32.213 [SPEAKER_00]: I just want to yapp and just like have a cool little combo. 01:33.190 --> 01:34.811 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm also drinking my energy drink. 01:34.831 --> 01:39.413 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't work out this morning, which so for me, like my schedule's kind of weird. 01:39.513 --> 01:41.935 [SPEAKER_00]: I have days where I film and then I have days where I don't. 01:42.075 --> 01:46.417 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm getting ready and like the type of job that I have, there's the film days and then there's the editing days. 01:46.457 --> 01:47.718 [SPEAKER_00]: That's at least how I do it. 01:47.738 --> 01:48.598 [SPEAKER_00]: That's what works for me. 01:48.738 --> 01:49.919 [SPEAKER_00]: So today was a film day. 01:50.139 --> 01:51.180 [SPEAKER_00]: So I wake up in the morning. 01:51.200 --> 01:55.482 [SPEAKER_00]: I had a meeting and then I just film all day and then I work out at the end of the day. 01:56.090 --> 01:58.492 [SPEAKER_00]: versus tomorrow, which won't be a film day. 01:58.532 --> 02:00.274 [SPEAKER_00]: Actually, you know, I do have stuff to film tomorrow. 02:00.714 --> 02:00.954 [SPEAKER_00]: Shoot. 02:01.375 --> 02:01.615 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 02:01.795 --> 02:05.819 [SPEAKER_00]: But usually the next day, I'll go to the gym in the morning and then like work the rest of the day. 02:05.879 --> 02:10.262 [SPEAKER_00]: So I go back and forth, but yeah, after this, I'm gonna work out. 02:10.302 --> 02:12.124 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm also trying to get into a Pilates class. 02:12.204 --> 02:13.745 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm on a couple of wait lists right now. 02:14.346 --> 02:16.648 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm gonna be like tapping in because girl. 02:17.234 --> 02:18.715 [SPEAKER_00]: I need to get a class today. 02:18.835 --> 02:20.976 [SPEAKER_00]: So starting off, you guys know who I am. 02:21.116 --> 02:21.637 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm oni. 02:22.057 --> 02:23.318 [SPEAKER_00]: My full name is Onica. 02:23.578 --> 02:25.739 [SPEAKER_00]: If you didn't know, but I go by oni b. 02:25.879 --> 02:28.340 [SPEAKER_00]: The name oni b kind of random. 02:28.461 --> 02:29.501 [SPEAKER_00]: It just came to me one day. 02:29.541 --> 02:30.262 [SPEAKER_00]: Like I don't even know. 02:30.422 --> 02:37.726 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna spray the details, but I was having an experience and enhanced experience one day, many years ago. 02:38.422 --> 02:44.888 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was kind of struggling on what I wanted to be called publicly, because I knew I was going to build some sort of a platform. 02:45.389 --> 02:53.076 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I don't know what it was, but like, I was just having a really, like emotional day, and then the name on E.B. 02:53.096 --> 02:58.180 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, just came to me so clearly, and I remember crying, because I was like, oh my god, this is like my name. 02:58.340 --> 03:03.565 [SPEAKER_00]: At the time it was meant to be for music, which it still is, because I'm definitely going to be making music in my lifetime. 03:03.605 --> 03:04.266 [SPEAKER_00]: I cannot. 03:05.222 --> 03:05.862 [SPEAKER_00]: not do that. 03:05.982 --> 03:07.702 [SPEAKER_00]: I will not be able to live with myself. 03:08.443 --> 03:11.643 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, but yeah, that's where that name came from, and it just kind of stuck. 03:11.683 --> 03:15.264 [SPEAKER_00]: I like just started using it ever since, and then everyone around me just started calling me that. 03:15.304 --> 03:17.944 [SPEAKER_00]: So that is where the name comes from. 03:18.164 --> 03:18.904 [SPEAKER_00]: It is very random. 03:18.924 --> 03:21.445 [SPEAKER_00]: It like definitely doesn't have a huge significance. 03:22.005 --> 03:22.925 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, I'm 26. 03:23.125 --> 03:24.986 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if you guys know that. 03:25.346 --> 03:25.866 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you do. 03:25.966 --> 03:32.087 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm 26, which to me, I feel like I'm starting to enter that point where like 26 is feeling very 03:34.009 --> 03:34.909 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I don't know. 03:34.969 --> 03:40.332 [SPEAKER_00]: I was watching New Girl the other day and it was the one episode where Jess was trying to be the shot girl. 03:40.412 --> 03:41.492 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if you guys remember. 03:42.773 --> 03:52.137 [SPEAKER_00]: And then the other lady was a shot girl but she was meant to be older and she was like how old are you and she's like, I'm 26 and he's like, wow, well, at least you're honest. 03:52.658 --> 03:57.540 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, oh, does that mean like she's old because what, like, I don't know. 04:02.611 --> 04:07.532 [SPEAKER_00]: 26 is a really awkward number because it's, I don't know, I guess this is really truly your mid 20s. 04:07.812 --> 04:28.338 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm really in it right now, but yeah, I have been doing what I do right now for, I think it's been two years that I've been in the social media space as like my full-time job, but I've been doing social media for far, like much longer than that far before, far before that's not right, for long before, what? 04:30.220 --> 04:35.004 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing it for a long time, so I'm trying to say I started doing social media. 04:35.024 --> 04:36.986 [SPEAKER_00]: I think I was 18 or even 17 or something. 04:38.427 --> 05:05.204 [SPEAKER_00]: I started posting my gym workout because at the time I was a trainer so I just started posting what I was doing in the gym and that's kind of how it started and then I don't know I just started posting random things here and there and then we started the podcast which obviously changed my life and then from there I just started posting beauty fashion now these days it's just more beauty fashion lifestyle stuff and yeah so that's like 05:06.493 --> 05:06.773 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. 05:06.793 --> 05:13.338 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, when you're a creator, I feel like that is kind of your life because your job is just to live your life and film it. 05:14.078 --> 05:16.980 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, so that's how I got into this. 05:17.120 --> 05:27.908 [SPEAKER_00]: But before I was doing this, I was doing real estate, which you guys also, if you mean, if you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you probably know this too, I wasn't really estate from like, I'm so bad at years. 05:27.928 --> 05:31.891 [SPEAKER_00]: You guys, I don't know why, like, cannot remember the years that things happen. 05:32.151 --> 05:32.951 [SPEAKER_00]: Have happened in my life. 05:32.991 --> 05:33.752 [SPEAKER_00]: It's the weirdest thing. 05:34.173 --> 05:35.854 [SPEAKER_00]: But I was in real estate for like two years. 05:35.914 --> 05:38.215 [SPEAKER_00]: I think two or three years, and that was cool. 05:38.355 --> 05:41.656 [SPEAKER_00]: I did it with my family, and my mom's been in real estate my entire life. 05:41.736 --> 05:52.421 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I kind of followed in her footsteps and she was very happy that I was doing it with her because I'm kind of like a mini version of my mom, anyone who knows us in real life, like I really truly am. 05:53.522 --> 05:56.043 [SPEAKER_00]: Almost the spitting image of my mom may be a little bit more. 05:57.662 --> 05:58.723 [SPEAKER_00]: much better than her. 05:58.783 --> 05:59.823 [SPEAKER_00]: She's a very young spirit. 05:59.843 --> 06:00.143 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. 06:00.163 --> 06:01.644 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I'm more like an old soul. 06:02.465 --> 06:04.826 [SPEAKER_00]: But anyways, she loved that I did it. 06:04.846 --> 06:06.947 [SPEAKER_00]: My mom's a very particular type of person. 06:06.987 --> 06:11.290 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm as a raised by like a perfectionist and that is an understatement. 06:11.310 --> 06:14.351 [SPEAKER_00]: Somebody who just like, nobody could do it the way she does it. 06:14.391 --> 06:15.492 [SPEAKER_00]: So she'll just do it herself. 06:15.592 --> 06:17.653 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I am also very much like that. 06:18.226 --> 06:22.768 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I was like the only person in real estate that she felt she could trust to do the job right. 06:23.189 --> 06:30.092 [SPEAKER_00]: And so when I decided that it wasn't for me, it was obviously kind of tough because I was like her right hand man. 06:31.073 --> 06:32.434 [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, I liked it. 06:32.594 --> 06:33.354 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't love it. 06:33.794 --> 06:35.976 [SPEAKER_00]: It was not fulfilling me in a creative way. 06:36.016 --> 06:38.477 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not a creative industry at all. 06:38.557 --> 06:41.759 [SPEAKER_00]: And so for me, I felt like I just was too in my masculine. 06:41.779 --> 06:43.920 [SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to do something that was more creative. 06:43.960 --> 06:45.761 [SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to create stuff. 06:46.329 --> 06:51.839 [SPEAKER_00]: So once the podcast started doing well, then obviously I took the first flight up out of that real estate office. 06:51.879 --> 06:53.622 [SPEAKER_00]: It just was not fun for me. 06:55.834 --> 07:03.436 [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, so that is what I was doing beforehand and then before that, I was a trainer for like four years or something, four years, I don't even know. 07:03.476 --> 07:06.656 [SPEAKER_00]: I was training for like the first half of my adult life. 07:07.836 --> 07:10.317 [SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, I grew up in Orange County. 07:10.417 --> 07:13.578 [SPEAKER_00]: If you've never been to Orange County, guys, it's like the most amazing place. 07:13.638 --> 07:18.839 [SPEAKER_00]: It's right next to LA, not right next, but like right next, it's like an hour and a half away. 07:18.859 --> 07:21.999 [SPEAKER_00]: I drive to LA all the time for work. 07:22.019 --> 07:24.720 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm literally going there like three days a week right now, 07:25.680 --> 07:26.061 [SPEAKER_00]: too much. 07:26.101 --> 07:28.063 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm really trying to keep it out one to two days. 07:28.603 --> 07:37.252 [SPEAKER_00]: If that, but yeah, I'm like always over there, but I like to stay out of the city because it's a bit chaotic for me and I just don't know if I'd feel like all that safe out there. 07:38.674 --> 07:39.615 [SPEAKER_00]: But I go there all the time. 07:40.697 --> 07:42.258 [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, that's my group up. 07:42.278 --> 07:44.639 [SPEAKER_00]: I am half Mexican, half Salvadoran. 07:45.120 --> 07:46.400 [SPEAKER_00]: Everyone thinks I'm Middle Eastern. 07:46.621 --> 07:50.863 [SPEAKER_00]: Every single person that has ever met me, thinks I'm Middle Eastern, Persian, Armenian. 07:51.423 --> 07:52.884 [SPEAKER_00]: Anything except what I actually am. 07:53.365 --> 07:54.885 [SPEAKER_00]: So now you guys know, I'm Hispanic. 07:55.446 --> 07:56.446 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't speak Spanish. 07:56.647 --> 07:58.107 [SPEAKER_00]: It is actually the saddest thing ever. 07:58.167 --> 07:59.128 [SPEAKER_00]: I wish I could Spanish. 07:59.168 --> 08:02.350 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that knowing multiple languages is just the coolest thing. 08:03.264 --> 08:07.368 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, but I don't and I really think I should prioritize that honestly because that would be so cool. 08:07.688 --> 08:09.810 [SPEAKER_00]: I also love to sing and make music. 08:10.030 --> 08:13.453 [SPEAKER_00]: It's definitely that is my thing of life. 08:13.553 --> 08:16.556 [SPEAKER_00]: Like everyone has the battle that they face throughout their existence. 08:17.397 --> 08:18.158 [SPEAKER_00]: I think, right? 08:18.178 --> 08:20.019 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like this is a pretty common experience. 08:20.139 --> 08:24.623 [SPEAKER_00]: Mine is to get over my fear of, I don't even know. 08:24.643 --> 08:29.588 [SPEAKER_00]: I have to like literally do therapy over this because I like loves make music, but I always make excuses. 08:30.101 --> 08:31.162 [SPEAKER_00]: about why I can't do it. 08:31.262 --> 08:32.463 [SPEAKER_00]: I never make time for it. 08:32.584 --> 08:41.193 [SPEAKER_00]: And then when I do like post something or when I have in the past, I've like just overthought it to the point where I make myself not like my own art. 08:41.433 --> 08:42.194 [SPEAKER_00]: It's so weird. 08:42.234 --> 08:43.675 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like really bizarre. 08:44.216 --> 08:46.979 [SPEAKER_00]: But I got this book, which one of you guys actually recommended to me. 08:47.279 --> 08:47.719 [SPEAKER_00]: It's right here. 08:47.759 --> 08:48.821 [SPEAKER_00]: It's called the War of Art. 08:49.341 --> 08:52.184 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to start reading that because apparently it's a book. 08:52.304 --> 08:58.566 [SPEAKER_00]: to help you get over that specific thing of sharing your art with the world and I can preach about this all day you guys. 08:58.586 --> 09:07.349 [SPEAKER_00]: Like the beauty of being able to create something and share it with the world is so beautiful and subjective and I think that like it's just amazing. 09:07.409 --> 09:15.252 [SPEAKER_00]: Like you can create something based off of how you're feeling or what you're experiencing in life and then other people get to perceive it and who cares if they like it. 09:15.292 --> 09:19.013 [SPEAKER_00]: Like the whole point was just about the process of creating it and how good it felt for you. 09:19.615 --> 09:37.782 [SPEAKER_00]: to express yourself like that's the whole point of the art and it's just like cool that people get to marvel it and look at it after that you create something that didn't exist before that is the most gorgeous thing in the whole world to me like I I just am so fascinated by the art of creation. 09:39.177 --> 10:00.894 [SPEAKER_00]: So just like kind of hypocritical because it's like okay, then create stuff like what do you mean so anyway that is like my big huge life thing I'm battling with that all the time so people who are closest to me like the most the biggest form of love For me is when my family and friends check up on that part of my life like my best friend Emily she does not fail 10:01.378 --> 10:03.059 [SPEAKER_00]: to always ask me, where's the music? 10:03.079 --> 10:09.183 [SPEAKER_00]: When you make a music or you make a music, like she's always on my ass, and to me, that's like true love, you know what I mean? 10:09.383 --> 10:13.366 [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, that's like my big life quest. 10:13.446 --> 10:14.567 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I think I should do? 10:15.067 --> 10:21.432 [SPEAKER_00]: I've been thinking maybe I should force myself to go do karaoke at a bar, you know? 10:21.652 --> 10:25.254 [SPEAKER_00]: And then once I get comfortable with singing in front of people, because that's my biggest fear. 10:25.354 --> 10:27.215 [SPEAKER_00]: It all comes down to my performance. 10:27.896 --> 10:29.837 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like if I can make that not scary, 10:31.672 --> 10:40.539 [SPEAKER_00]: just careless and that's so funny because obviously this is the I don't Gaff podcast and it's like I really don't gaff about much except this. 10:40.619 --> 10:44.061 [SPEAKER_00]: This is the one thing where I still gaff a lot. 10:45.142 --> 10:46.343 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm really working on that. 10:46.383 --> 10:58.932 [SPEAKER_00]: It feels kind of good to talk about it and I'm like exposing myself but it's nice because I really want to get over it so now I feel like I kind of have to because now I'm like announcing this to the world that I like love to sing and make music. 10:59.505 --> 11:15.069 [SPEAKER_00]: So I feel like I have to like do something now, but yeah, so that is that part of my life I'm another little thing you guys know this I think but I am in a relationship Really great love my boyfriend. 11:15.089 --> 11:28.513 [SPEAKER_00]: He's the best we've been together for two years now, which is kind of crazy because I Remember when I just started dating him and like I would make little videos about it on TikTok I would also remember like just being freshly single like it was yesterday 11:28.953 --> 11:30.655 [SPEAKER_00]: but it's already been almost two years. 11:30.735 --> 11:32.698 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's really bizarre to me. 11:32.718 --> 11:35.161 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we live in our house. 11:35.261 --> 11:37.443 [SPEAKER_00]: We literally love our house so much. 11:37.544 --> 11:39.166 [SPEAKER_00]: We have two dogs, Cohen, Rue. 11:39.186 --> 11:40.387 [SPEAKER_00]: You guys see them all the time. 11:41.108 --> 11:44.011 [SPEAKER_00]: And we just have like a really chill, simple little life. 11:44.111 --> 11:48.537 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, outside of me, going to LA for work and like I sometimes go on trips. 11:49.468 --> 11:53.091 [SPEAKER_00]: for work, but nothing insane right now, at least. 11:53.111 --> 11:55.933 [SPEAKER_00]: I live a really chill life, you guys. 11:56.173 --> 11:58.655 [SPEAKER_00]: And I honestly love living my life this way. 11:58.675 --> 12:01.657 [SPEAKER_00]: I also like having business, of course. 12:01.737 --> 12:05.900 [SPEAKER_00]: But I like definitely, I'm not the type of person that can be going 24-7. 12:05.920 --> 12:07.141 [SPEAKER_00]: I would be really unhappy. 12:08.462 --> 12:10.723 [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, our life is really chill, really simple. 12:10.803 --> 12:17.268 [SPEAKER_00]: I wake up, go to the gym, go to my Pilates class, work, film, edit, watch TV, go to bed. 12:17.964 --> 12:34.880 [SPEAKER_00]: you know kind of chill and then I'll go to my events or I'll go like I'm going to fashion week in September and New York so that'll be really fun but um on a seal like I live a really average basic life and I really appreciate that I definitely think I can handle a little bit more busyness so I like right now I'm in a 12:36.128 --> 13:04.071 [SPEAKER_00]: kind of like a ramping up phase of my career where I'm like really grinding but outside of that like I do really appreciate my comfort and I seriously you guys cannot wait to be a mom that is like My biggest dream above anything else like I think about it every single day I'm obviously very patient and I'm not in any play I'm not in the mindset of like wanting to be a mom in this moment, but 13:04.757 --> 13:06.641 [SPEAKER_00]: I am so excited for that phase of my life. 13:06.901 --> 13:13.252 [SPEAKER_00]: I cannot wait in which is why I like appreciate a calm, more slow, relaxed lifestyle. 13:13.533 --> 13:17.560 [SPEAKER_00]: And I know that it's like, it's because I'm literally meant to also be a parent. 13:18.470 --> 13:23.072 [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, really those are kind of like the big main things of my life. 13:23.652 --> 13:39.459 [SPEAKER_00]: One thing I've been thinking about a lot, going to like my relationship a little bit is when we and when we and my boyfriend first had a dating, I remember he was like at one of his friend's houses and he was chatting with his friend's mom about this girl he was seeing. 13:39.939 --> 14:05.209 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't remember if I had met her yet or not, but he was chatting with her about it and I don't know if like, the friend said something or anyway, somebody said something along the lines of like, maybe considering me to be more of like a bougie person or like a high maintenance type of girl and I remember my boyfriend like telling me like months later about this conversation where the mom suggested to him saying like, 14:06.145 --> 14:14.370 [SPEAKER_00]: Stay away from anyone who's high maintenance, or stay away from anyone who's bougie, like you just be with a low maintenance, really easy, chill, laid, bad girl. 14:14.430 --> 14:17.531 [SPEAKER_00]: You don't wanna be with anyone who's like, too high maintenance. 14:18.172 --> 14:25.976 [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember him like telling me about this conversation and at the time when he told me about, I was like, what, like, I don't know, I got offended a little bit. 14:26.016 --> 14:31.459 [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, high maintenance, like, I'm not high maintenance, like, what, like, are you trying to say, like, was she trying to say that I'm like, 14:32.596 --> 14:33.557 [SPEAKER_00]: bougie bears or something. 14:33.597 --> 14:33.937 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. 14:34.537 --> 14:48.204 [SPEAKER_00]: Long story short, like I definitely, like it stayed in my brain for a little bit, but these days you guys, I can 100%, proudly say that I am 100% of high maintenance girl. 14:48.684 --> 14:54.547 [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely, I am absolutely, but it's in a, it's in a way that's not like what I think. 14:56.083 --> 14:57.264 [SPEAKER_00]: might have been perceived. 14:57.744 --> 15:03.569 [SPEAKER_00]: My version of being high maintenance is I take the best most up most care of myself. 15:04.049 --> 15:06.111 [SPEAKER_00]: I treat myself so well. 15:06.151 --> 15:10.133 [SPEAKER_00]: I treat myself to nice Pilates classes, a nice gym. 15:10.214 --> 15:13.476 [SPEAKER_00]: I buy myself nice things once in a while. 15:14.228 --> 15:16.449 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, I get myself high quality food. 15:16.489 --> 15:18.791 [SPEAKER_00]: There's certain things that I do for myself. 15:18.851 --> 15:20.111 [SPEAKER_00]: But I think that's the difference. 15:20.512 --> 15:28.336 [SPEAKER_00]: I think like what the comment was was like, don't be with somebody who wants to just like take all your money and like drain you, right? 15:29.256 --> 15:30.017 [SPEAKER_00]: So I can assume. 15:30.777 --> 15:41.363 [SPEAKER_00]: But like to me after simmering on that for like obviously doing like two years now, I think that being a high maintenance, high, high value woman. 15:43.052 --> 15:44.893 [SPEAKER_00]: is the best type of woman you could be with. 15:45.093 --> 15:51.255 [SPEAKER_00]: I've watched my boyfriend literally shape shift into a great partner from not a good one. 15:51.315 --> 15:58.578 [SPEAKER_00]: Like we talk about like the type of person he was before him and I were together is almost unrecognizable. 15:59.038 --> 16:07.662 [SPEAKER_00]: The type of like quality of a boyfriend that he used to be and the way that he used to show up for previous partners and like 16:09.127 --> 16:12.489 [SPEAKER_00]: just the level of consideration that he had is not going to work with me. 16:12.589 --> 16:22.174 [SPEAKER_00]: And so by being a more high value, high maintenance, whatever you want to call it type of woman, like he really had to raise to the standard and raise the bar. 16:22.234 --> 16:25.316 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, I always set the expectation from the beginning. 16:25.336 --> 16:26.716 [SPEAKER_00]: Like this is my expectation. 16:26.736 --> 16:27.777 [SPEAKER_00]: These are my standards. 16:28.277 --> 16:28.998 [SPEAKER_00]: You can meet me there. 16:29.018 --> 16:33.460 [SPEAKER_00]: If you want to and if you don't, no big deal, I'm totally cool with that because I'm million other people will do it. 16:33.880 --> 16:41.112 [SPEAKER_00]: So like you know what I'm saying it was like always that type of mindset and so he did because he wanted to and it was like if you put up with 16:42.308 --> 17:00.837 [SPEAKER_00]: Bolshe in the beginning are you allow the man to choose where the bar sits, you'll never be happy and you'll always get disrespected and I truly think that like it's because you're willing to put up with anything and you're not giving him any sort of expectation on how to treat you because you're willing to accept whatever you get. 17:01.338 --> 17:09.142 [SPEAKER_00]: And for me I feel like by treating yourself really well and by investing in yourself, taking care of yourself, learning about yourself, 17:10.082 --> 17:11.383 [SPEAKER_00]: doing things for yourself. 17:11.903 --> 17:35.020 [SPEAKER_00]: That in turn shows your partner like wow look how much they love themselves like I cannot I'm not going to get away with treating them less than how they treat themselves like how could I possibly do that it just wouldn't work not only would do they learn just by watching you and learn what is right and what's not right but on top of that you just naturally will become unattracted to somebody who doesn't 17:36.360 --> 17:38.702 [SPEAKER_00]: meet you with the level of respect that you deserve. 17:38.762 --> 17:39.682 [SPEAKER_00]: Didn't it does that make sense? 17:40.243 --> 17:52.572 [SPEAKER_00]: So I think I can confidently say now that I just don't agree with that advice that was given to him because it is the high value woman, the high maintenance woman that literally changed him and made him into a higher value man. 17:53.472 --> 17:54.193 [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't know. 17:54.853 --> 17:58.636 [SPEAKER_00]: And again, I can understand if it was like coming from the place of, 17:59.760 --> 18:02.741 [SPEAKER_00]: you're in the process of building your career, you know you're starting up your life. 18:02.761 --> 18:06.982 [SPEAKER_00]: You don't want to be with somebody who's just getting used to you for your money or using for whatever. 18:07.002 --> 18:09.582 [SPEAKER_00]: At least in my case, I've been the farthest from that. 18:09.602 --> 18:12.643 [SPEAKER_00]: I've not taken a single dollar from my boyfriend's up. 18:13.223 --> 18:21.365 [SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, all this to say that, yeah, I just think that like being a high value, high maintenance woman is so hot and so sexy and so cool. 18:21.765 --> 18:26.746 [SPEAKER_00]: So I like couldn't agree less with that statement from that parent. 18:28.154 --> 18:34.728 [SPEAKER_00]: So I just wanted to say that I, like, it's something I was thinking about for a while and I just think that like, the minute I started it. 18:35.525 --> 18:39.467 [SPEAKER_00]: doing all these things and like I take the time to take such good care of myself. 18:39.547 --> 18:43.149 [SPEAKER_00]: A great example would be like my nighttime routine or my morning routines. 18:43.249 --> 18:43.910 [SPEAKER_00]: They're long. 18:44.110 --> 18:45.030 [SPEAKER_00]: I take my time. 18:45.430 --> 18:46.911 [SPEAKER_00]: You doesn't mean everyone needs to do it. 18:46.951 --> 18:50.813 [SPEAKER_00]: Not everyone's lifestyle requires like everyone's lifestyle's different. 18:50.833 --> 18:54.695 [SPEAKER_00]: So you might take 15 minutes or an hour like everyone's different. 18:55.016 --> 18:57.377 [SPEAKER_00]: But for me, I do my vibration play. 18:57.437 --> 18:59.978 [SPEAKER_00]: I do a lymphatic drainage massage and my body. 19:00.078 --> 19:01.699 [SPEAKER_00]: I do a gouache on my face. 19:01.759 --> 19:03.220 [SPEAKER_00]: I do my skincare routine. 19:03.620 --> 19:04.521 [SPEAKER_00]: I do my hair. 19:05.732 --> 19:07.593 [SPEAKER_00]: I put on a queue outfit for the gym. 19:07.633 --> 19:11.716 [SPEAKER_00]: There's things that I do for myself because they make me feel really good. 19:11.776 --> 19:18.360 [SPEAKER_00]: And when I feel really good, I show up the best that I can, not only in my job and in my work, but in my relationship, too. 19:18.460 --> 19:27.506 [SPEAKER_00]: And then again, when you have a level of standard for yourself, everyone around you meets at that bar or you just naturally 19:28.347 --> 19:29.889 [SPEAKER_00]: physical away from the people that don't. 19:30.229 --> 19:31.711 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's fucking amazing. 19:31.731 --> 19:36.636 [SPEAKER_00]: There have been so many people that I have lost quote unquote in my life over the last couple of years. 19:36.997 --> 19:44.505 [SPEAKER_00]: I say it like that because it's really not a loss when it's really not a loss if they left because they couldn't meet you where you were that's okay. 19:44.928 --> 19:51.051 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, God will remove people from your life before giving you things that are incredible and amazing. 19:51.151 --> 19:53.572 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, like, make room to what I'm saying. 19:53.592 --> 19:59.855 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, whenever I want to buy myself some new clothes or a new bag, some new shoes, I will get rid of a few first because it makes room when my closet. 19:59.955 --> 20:04.717 [SPEAKER_00]: And then it also shows me, God, everyone involved that. 20:05.317 --> 20:07.277 [SPEAKER_00]: that I'm making space for something new for myself. 20:07.417 --> 20:09.678 [SPEAKER_00]: That look I have room for what's coming. 20:10.098 --> 20:15.259 [SPEAKER_00]: And so that's how I see losing friendships, losing partners, losing whoever needs to go. 20:15.299 --> 20:16.539 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, please, the sooner the better. 20:17.419 --> 20:18.399 [SPEAKER_00]: Leave, please leave. 20:18.519 --> 20:22.800 [SPEAKER_00]: Because I know that there's more coming and it can only get better than this. 20:23.140 --> 20:28.601 [SPEAKER_00]: Even I'm saying, so, share this also, I do feel inspired to talk about this last thing. 20:28.621 --> 20:31.742 [SPEAKER_00]: I should, this is my TikTok last week also. 20:32.162 --> 20:33.882 [SPEAKER_00]: But if you ever feel like your life 20:35.002 --> 20:45.427 [SPEAKER_00]: Like you're like whatever at what you're doing, like maybe in your career you're you're good at it but maybe you're not like the best or you know you're stuck doing something that you don't feel that excited about. 20:45.888 --> 20:50.890 [SPEAKER_00]: If your life feels just like mid, I just want to share this one idea with you. 20:50.950 --> 20:53.911 [SPEAKER_00]: You will never be good at being a follower if you're meant to be a leader. 20:53.931 --> 21:01.515 [SPEAKER_00]: If you were meant to be a leader of God made you and put you on this earth to lead to create something and you are spending your time 21:03.796 --> 21:07.181 [SPEAKER_00]: mesh in with the crowd and become a follower. 21:07.922 --> 21:09.704 [SPEAKER_00]: You will never be good at it. 21:10.044 --> 21:10.925 [SPEAKER_00]: You'll never be good at it. 21:10.945 --> 21:16.432 [SPEAKER_00]: You'll never be able to follow the same recipe as someone else and get the same results if that's not what you're meant to do. 21:16.973 --> 21:19.897 [SPEAKER_00]: And I've learned this in so many ways in my own life. 21:20.317 --> 21:43.953 [SPEAKER_00]: Especially recently, and so the more that you do the things that you like and you follow that Instinctual feeling of like, oh, I want to do this or ooh I know the scares me, but something about it also excites me like the more you take action on those feelings You guys the more successful you'll be so for me like when I think about music and I think about my fear like one thought that Really helps me not 21:45.915 --> 22:09.153 [SPEAKER_00]: loose focus or not lose the plot that path is I know if I wasn't meant to do it I wouldn't think about it so much I wouldn't yearn for it so much I wouldn't love it so much if I wasn't meant to make music and sing I wouldn't have a feeling in my heart to do so and that's all you need to know because if you feel something strongly that is god pulling you somewhere trying to take you somewhere and the reason you're trying to take you there is because there's 22:11.495 --> 22:14.896 [SPEAKER_00]: for you there and if there wasn't, you wouldn't feel the call. 22:15.716 --> 22:30.420 [SPEAKER_00]: So, the longer that you ignore it and the more that you try to blend in somewhere else or hide yourself in something else, bury yourself in something else, you will continue to be faced with failure and discontentment because you will never be good at doing things that you're not supposed to do. 22:31.811 --> 22:34.433 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh, a spot just opened up for Pilates, let me book. 22:34.914 --> 22:37.275 [SPEAKER_00]: I just book my Pilates class, so slave for that. 22:38.777 --> 22:51.386 [SPEAKER_00]: I think in the next episode, I want to talk about the right mindset to be successful because I literally see it so often the way I think about things can be so different than some other people that I talk to. 22:51.466 --> 23:01.274 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, if I have a goal to do something, go somewhere, achieve something, the way that I see it in my brain and the road map that I have in my head. 23:01.796 --> 23:03.817 [SPEAKER_00]: can be so different than other people's. 23:03.877 --> 23:12.260 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just think it's really interesting how the way that you're raised or like certain life experiences can shape your ability to get to certain goals. 23:12.940 --> 23:18.542 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I just want to talk about my version of that and how I see the mindset, like how my mindset is. 23:18.962 --> 23:26.605 [SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, my camera's overheating, so I got to wrap this up you guys, comment what you pulled from this episode and I will add the stick you know, the next time I see you. 23:27.247 --> 23:29.648 [SPEAKER_00]: And with that, thank you guys for tuning in with me again. 23:29.689 --> 23:33.651 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing it in every other week episode thing right now, but fingers crossed. 23:33.691 --> 23:38.114 [SPEAKER_00]: If all goes well, we'll start doing this weekly again, but let's take a slow, you know what I'm saying? 23:38.134 --> 23:39.434 [SPEAKER_00]: So that can get to stay consistent. 23:39.474 --> 23:40.595 [SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, I love you guys so much. 23:40.635 --> 23:42.656 [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for chatting, and I'll see you next time. 23:43.197 --> 23:43.417 [SPEAKER_00]: Bye.