[SPEAKER_02]: It's nose job day!
[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes you gotta get a new nose Jack Taylor nose best!
[SPEAKER_02]: And now he can snort even more cocaine!
[SPEAKER_02]: They made the whole so much bigger for all that coke!
[SPEAKER_02]: He can store it in his side like a squirrel in its cheeks!
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what they did, dude!
[SPEAKER_05]: Jack Taylor's nose!
[SPEAKER_05]: Slow release of coke into his bloodstream throughout the day!
[SPEAKER_02]: They give it him a bionic nose.
[SPEAKER_02]: He can do incredible things with that shenanigans.
[SPEAKER_04]: Jacks, Jacks Taylor's cyborg, but exclusively for co-pan.
[SPEAKER_02]: I am a devil, and don't you forget it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't worry, I'm with him last night.
[SPEAKER_02]: I take such comments very carefully.
[SPEAKER_04]: Thank you, aren't you?
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm not sure what I've done to you, but I'll think of it as great as you.
[SPEAKER_04]: The only thing I have told to me back is that I have to tell her back.
[SPEAKER_03]: And take the knee.
[SPEAKER_02]: What's up, you guys, and welcome back to the Pumpcast.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm Maddie Drawspeck.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm Megruoco, and I need to know if you were also sent this DM, but someone DMed me a piece of information that is deeply important.
[SPEAKER_02]: I would like for you to share it now.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's that, did you know there is a full video of the Tom Crying Tishina video?
[SPEAKER_02]: that we have access to the full video?
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
[SPEAKER_02]: We have access to the full video.
[SPEAKER_02]: What?
[SPEAKER_04]: We have the full video.
[SPEAKER_02]: We do at least, I thought that was the full video.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it was like a four minute video and at least two minutes of that video are posted on Bravo.
[SPEAKER_02]: Their website.
[SPEAKER_04]: RubboTV.com.
[SPEAKER_04]: BravoTV.com.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh my god, we have to watch it.
[SPEAKER_02]: I, and you know what, I didn't watch it all the way through, because I wanted to save it to do it together.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's do it together.
[SPEAKER_02]: Once I realized what we had, I was like, know this is a joint.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, this is a joint watch.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, let's get a walk this on litter rocks.
[SPEAKER_02]: Someone had the Tom's Santa Mall crying video to letter box, so I can log it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Top of the year.
[SPEAKER_02]: I will be giving it four stars.
[SPEAKER_02]: Five?
[SPEAKER_02]: The concept of giving the Tom's annual crying video four stars.
[SPEAKER_02]: Good at unbetter.
[SPEAKER_04]: Good at unbetter.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_04]: There was room for improvement.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, here it is.
[SPEAKER_02]: Not believable sometimes.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they have two about two minutes on the website.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh my God.
[SPEAKER_02]: It says Tom Sandival's full apology video.
[SPEAKER_02]: So maybe this is the whole thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh my God, we're about to find out.
[SPEAKER_00]: I should have with some men.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm really sorry about everything that happened.
[SPEAKER_00]: James got my face.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a, um, a lot of pent up frustration.
[SPEAKER_00]: Please call Shina that I'm really, really sorry, and I'm sorry for pushing your dad.
[SPEAKER_04]: No, it's full pause.
[SPEAKER_04]: We didn't know that was that's new information.
[SPEAKER_04]: Tom's and I've all pushed Shazad.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm sorry for pushing your dad This is what I'm saying like when we watched that fight scene and we were like, where did all these people are all these people now when I understand why he said I'm sorry to your family because I was like, oh, the fuck care like that's what the like the concept of like Shay and she and his family is also being in this way watching it
[SPEAKER_04]: Someone's dad getting just like push tossed around.
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god.
[SPEAKER_04]: Well, and Tom Sandival has a repeated history of pushing people's doubts.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah, apparently.
[SPEAKER_02]: So, okay, add that to the list of offenses.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, the more we learn about this man, okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's keep going.
[SPEAKER_01]: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
[SPEAKER_01]: Your brother chumped in heavy.
[SPEAKER_05]: Wait, hold on.
[SPEAKER_04]: Why was Shay's family an integral part of this fight?
[SPEAKER_02]: They were loathebearing to this fight.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's crazy actually.
[SPEAKER_02]: To now learn that like the scratch is not going to work.
[SPEAKER_02]: They were not from James, they were not from Kristen, they were not from anyone that we knew they were from Shay's family members Absolutely jumping him after he pushed their dad
[SPEAKER_04]: This is so awesome.
[SPEAKER_04]: It sounds like it was mainly a fight between Shay's brother and Tom Sandival This is so funny.
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is like credit.
[SPEAKER_04]: I can't believe that we didn't have access to this We wouldn't have known they should have told us that they really should have told us this you guys kept this from us Go see going I didn't mean to do anything
[SPEAKER_00]: that, you know, to your dad, I just, or I just, James came up and hit me twice.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm blindside of me, you know, and your dad was screaming and screaming of me, and, but just tell, you know, I'm really sorry, and, um, and I'm really sorry to you, and, uh, and your family, and I'm really embarrassed right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: So,
[SPEAKER_00]: I just thought I was going to text you, but... Baby, it's just nervous, are you okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: I hope you talk to you soon, okay?
[SPEAKER_04]: James came up and punched me twice wrong wrong that did not happen that did not happen have you forgotten that there were cameras on you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Is this crazy?
[SPEAKER_02]: Also like he didn't think this is required to reach you.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, I was thinking the same thing.
[SPEAKER_04]: Why does it feel like we just watched one of Peter Madrigal's cameras?
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, he's not literally in the majority of this video, it's some cry, he's gonna be a good point.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, brother, I think this requires to read to lock in.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, lock in.
[SPEAKER_02]: The alligator tears are crazy, and it is absolutely crazy.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, I love when he does this.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's so awesome when he does this.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's like, this is going to be so good for the show.
[SPEAKER_02]: I just, wow, I, I, I, obviously we knew that he had been blaming James and saying James started it, right.
[SPEAKER_02]: To do it to this degree is honestly really funny.
[SPEAKER_05]: To be like, to be like, I never met anything by it.
[SPEAKER_05]: James, he came and punched me twice.
[SPEAKER_05]: I was sitting there holding probably like a bouquet of flowers or something, little old me.
[SPEAKER_05]: Hopefully you're fenced, let's take him in just before for no reason.
[SPEAKER_05]: James came up, we don't know how big and strong James is.
[SPEAKER_05]: I can't even get away from that guy if I tried.
[SPEAKER_05]: What was I even supposed to do?
[SPEAKER_05]: Obviously I had to push your dad.
[SPEAKER_05]: Sorry to your dad.
[SPEAKER_05]: I obviously had to push your dad because he was being a freaking piece of shit dude And now your dad has no legs and she has no legs.
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm just really sorry.
[SPEAKER_05]: I hear your family's legless And I just ultimately I feel like I didn't really do anything wrong, though I mean, you really should redirect Grand-Grid James Kennedy Jay James Kennedy your partner in blocking
[SPEAKER_05]: James, I've Kennedy or whatever, Shae, I've kind of Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've got a Shae, I've
[SPEAKER_02]: This is crazy.
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also sick.
[SPEAKER_02]: I do just need to say the second that this video stops playing is started to autoplay a video of shorts.
[SPEAKER_02]: Very briefly.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it showed the thumbnail and then it cut to add.
[SPEAKER_02]: The ad is the trailer for the Odyssey.
[SPEAKER_02]: So it was a photo of shorts and then cut to from the director Tristan for marriage.
[SPEAKER_04]: And I was like, wow, the concept of Schwartz, all of a sudden, showing up in a Christopher Nolan movie.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's just like, he first opening shot of the jailer, Tom Schwartz, and I was like, from the mind of Christopher Nolan.
[SPEAKER_04]: Tom Schwartz being like, oh, we've been sitting on this beach for so long.
[SPEAKER_04]: How are we even going to get into Troy?
[SPEAKER_04]: Listen, Christopher Nolan, Tom Schwartz has a panic attack inside the horse.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, Toro, Toro, Toro, we got to get you in this!
[SPEAKER_04]: Toro, Toro, Toro, Toro, you know the question that sometimes people ask where it's like, if you could recast any movie like as with like fully the muppets and like one human, how would you recast it?
[SPEAKER_04]: If you could put Tom Schwartz in any one movie.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is so crazy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Tom Schwartz.
[SPEAKER_02]: If you want to sidequest, we've got a couple.
[SPEAKER_02]: We'd like to put you on.
[SPEAKER_02]: We've got a few.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I actually, you're looking for work right now.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, it would be so funny.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that you and I should write a one man play and cast Tom Schwartz in it and put it on in like a small theater in Washington.
[SPEAKER_02]: Flea bag, but with Tom Schwartz.
[SPEAKER_02]: Wait, I hear the thing is like, I want to get a big week back so much Ron with us.
[SPEAKER_04]: We are Tom Schwartz.
[SPEAKER_04]: We see your talents.
[SPEAKER_04]: We'd like to take into the stage.
[SPEAKER_04]: Are the directors at Tom Schwartz's hour on Janue?
[SPEAKER_04]: Tom Schwartz hour muse.
[SPEAKER_04]: No, literally.
[SPEAKER_04]: We've made art for you, Tom Schwartz.
[SPEAKER_04]: Dance for us.
[SPEAKER_04]: Tom Schwartz, we need you.
[SPEAKER_04]: We need you now more than ever.
[SPEAKER_04]: From the director Chris Nolan.
[SPEAKER_02]: Additionally, we haven't talked about Jackson as publicist yet and I'm kind of dying to say something about this.
[SPEAKER_04]: We really do need to talk about Jackson as publicist.
[SPEAKER_02]: For those of you that are watching Vanderpump for the first time, this is going to mean not a lot to you right now.
[SPEAKER_02]: But in the future, it will mean something.
[SPEAKER_02]: But Jax and Brittany, who you'll meet on the show shortly, yep, obviously are no longer together.
[SPEAKER_02]: They'd up a child together.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're not divorced.
[SPEAKER_02]: It was a big plot line on the valley.
[SPEAKER_02]: Shout out to all my valley, watchers, aka prisoners.
[SPEAKER_02]: Jax was recently spotted making out with their joint publicist and one of Brittany's closest friends.
[SPEAKER_02]: in some pool made themselves a public spectacle in this betrayal.
[SPEAKER_02]: Jack's the most evil man in the world and this public says who might be the most evil woman.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, that's insane to have like she knows everything.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, she knows the ins and outs.
[SPEAKER_02]: of what their marriage was like when we went on behind closed doors, we know a lot of what happens just based on what was aired on the valley.
[SPEAKER_02]: And even what we do know is not good.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I can't imagine what we don't know.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, it's real bad.
[SPEAKER_04]: Her job was literally to like take his bullshit and spin it into something palatable.
[SPEAKER_03]: Right.
[SPEAKER_04]: And then she said, give me a piece of that.
[SPEAKER_04]: She wants to be with him.
[SPEAKER_04]: Here's the thing, too, is like,
[SPEAKER_04]: Imagine it's like always bad like the the concept of like hooking up with jacks is like Jenny leads is like always terrifying to me
[SPEAKER_04]: He's so chopped and hunk now, so chopped at least like S1 S2 jacks.
[SPEAKER_04]: You can be like, all right, he's insane, but he's body T totally face card not declining.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is jacks.
[SPEAKER_04]: What seven nose jobs deep.
[SPEAKER_02]: He looks scary.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's puffy.
[SPEAKER_04]: He has that like, um, like, uh,
[SPEAKER_04]: conservative puffiness to him that all those like podcasts guys have where they're all like red and bloated totally it's really that he looks like that yeah and his face is like really stretched from all the work that he's done I'm just like and you want you said give me a slice right oh I'm concerned I'm confused I'm concerned and confused and I guess I also just have to assume that this woman is also a sociopath
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, here's what I will say is like perhaps the signs were there because she was a publicist for like this couple and like publicists already have like kind of a reputation of being assholes but like I cannot imagine like how do you have no remorse for someone who is like your friend who you're betraying.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
[SPEAKER_04]: And then you're also Connecting yourself to a known abuser.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's like a criminal.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's like actually a criminal.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know totally.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's like a criminal And not a criminal in the way where it's like, oh, you know, he was like embezzling something or whatever, you know, it's like no He's like a physically abusive right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, no Yeah, that man installed cameras in their home to spy on Brittany
[SPEAKER_04]: He's crazy, that guy's crazy.
[SPEAKER_04]: I just like, the thing is, is like the way that like, there have been times where I've been like on a date with a man and they'll say something like a little off color, and I'm like, all right, that's it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like I just am immediately like, ah, okay, yeah, no, done.
[SPEAKER_04]: All jacks is his off color.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's never had a green flag.
[SPEAKER_04]: No, it's all red as far as the eye can see.
[SPEAKER_02]: I hate to say it.
[SPEAKER_02]: I do think some people are just stupid.
[SPEAKER_04]: I... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I hate to say it like I actually can't think of a reason why someone would do this unless they were just dumb I think maybe they might be medically stupid Yeah, yeah, I mean listen best of luck to you guys.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I mean God speed.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'll tell you after the happy couple
[SPEAKER_04]: Good luck.
[SPEAKER_04]: Good luck out there.
[SPEAKER_02]: Keep him away from the rest of us.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Put him in a cage.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: Do us a favor, put him in a cage.
[SPEAKER_04]: We've been trying to do that for a minute.
[SPEAKER_04]: We just haven't.
[SPEAKER_04]: We don't talk total access.
[SPEAKER_02]: Listen, you can get in the cage too.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, feel free to get this.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can get in the cage.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: But yeah, we do need to discuss the logistics of getting Jack's Taylor in a cage.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: Anyway, publicists, we would love to have you on our podcast on time, speaking of epic Instagram TikTok, social media profiles.
[SPEAKER_04]: We have garnered another, oh my god, Gem for our kind of Thanos glove of surf staff members who are following us.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is a big one.
[SPEAKER_04]: This, this might be the
[SPEAKER_04]: The one and only Stasi Schroeder has followed us on TikTok.
[SPEAKER_04]: And she called us actual comedic artists, reviews are in.
[SPEAKER_04]: A reviews are in.
[SPEAKER_02]: Stasi Schroeder says that we are comedic artists.
[SPEAKER_04]: We are comedic artists.
[SPEAKER_02]: We did quote it and put it in our Instagram bio because it's important for everyone to know.
[SPEAKER_04]: And it's true.
[SPEAKER_04]: And the thing is is that on this podcast, we tell the truth.
[SPEAKER_04]: We tell the truth.
[SPEAKER_04]: Reports are in.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is what was set.
[SPEAKER_04]: We are truth tellers.
[SPEAKER_04]: I saw someone comment on one of our videos the other day and said I want you guys to report the news
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, Tom Schwartz shows me if he's like running the teleprompter, I'll do it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, Tom Schwartz is our teleprompter.
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, Tom Schwartz has to be in the room.
[SPEAKER_02]: Tom Schwartz has handwritten key cards like they do on SNL.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, you can get it, you know.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's on my, what's the list?
[SPEAKER_02]: Not writer.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes, writer.
[SPEAKER_02]: Tom Schwartz is on my writer.
[SPEAKER_04]: When I do do anything as long as Tom Schwartz is there.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, no.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: What do you need?
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm like, I need Diet Coke and Tom Schwartz.
[SPEAKER_04]: I need Flaming Hot Cheetahs and I need Tom Schwartz.
[SPEAKER_04]: Tom Schwartz in the corner, ready to do whatever I ask anything.
[SPEAKER_04]: But yeah, so Stasi, we are so happy that you're here.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like we could not be more familiar with the other.
[SPEAKER_04]: No idea.
[SPEAKER_04]: Stasi, come on.
[SPEAKER_04]: Just come on.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's House of Stasi.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's house of Stasi.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, because that's coming out this week.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is the guest house of Stasi.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is the pool house of Stasi.
[SPEAKER_04]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_04]: We're kind of, we're on the proper people.
[SPEAKER_04]: We're just totally different kind of location.
[SPEAKER_04]: We've been let in.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: We're in the back.
[SPEAKER_04]: We're kind of in the pool.
[SPEAKER_04]: Tom Schwartz is to us as what we are to Stasi and that like you're kind of around if needed.
[SPEAKER_04]: Totally.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're here.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're available.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: Bring us in.
[SPEAKER_04]: Bring us on.
[SPEAKER_04]: We'll be there.
[SPEAKER_02]: We'll come to the house.
[SPEAKER_02]: So now we have access to DMing not only Tom Schwartz, but also Stasi Stasi.
[SPEAKER_02]: Stasi Schwartz.
[SPEAKER_02]: Shroter.
[SPEAKER_02]: Hello.
[SPEAKER_04]: It has I was talking about this with Maddie off camera before we started recording.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like it has really put in perspective.
[SPEAKER_04]: Just how strange it is that Tom Schwartz has followed us and said nothing.
[SPEAKER_04]: hasn't commented on any of our videos, has not, has not, I think even liked any of our videos, he's just just following, he's just watching.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, no, we have to send him something really good.
[SPEAKER_04]: We do.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Every time I come across like an obscure video online, I just send it to magnet.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, idea for what to send Schwartz.
[SPEAKER_02]: Could be this.
[SPEAKER_04]: So boof!
[SPEAKER_04]: We're back, baby.
[SPEAKER_04]: We are on the street.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I don't know what the fuck is happening here.
[SPEAKER_04]: We are on the street.
[SPEAKER_04]: Tom and Tom and Jacks are kind of huddled up against a wall pouring beers into cups because they're pre-gaming getting their eyebrows threaded.
[SPEAKER_04]: Also look I don't understand what they think they're doing right there.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not like it's in a red so look up.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's in a clear plastic cup.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can see what is in the cup.
[SPEAKER_04]: They're not hiding anything.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, it's not like they put it in like a water bottle or something that is shielded from light.
[SPEAKER_04]: And sorry, but like, what do you think drinking exactly one Miller light is going to do to you before getting your eyebrows threaded?
[SPEAKER_02]: The whole thing is strange to me.
[SPEAKER_02]: Why are you pre-gaming this?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I don't I don't know what's going on.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's nuts, but they walk into the eyebrow threading place and jacks is like Well, I'm not gonna be the one to say say what we're doing here.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm not gonna be the one to say it.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's like already so afraid
[SPEAKER_04]: And Sandy is like, he's like, lower here to get our eyebrows threaded.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, yeah, yeah, that's what we do.
[SPEAKER_04]: And Schwartz is saying that all the boys, you know, they're feeling really good right now.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, everyone's in a pretty good place.
[SPEAKER_04]: They're getting their eyebrows threaded.
[SPEAKER_04]: Jackson's getting his nose job tomorrow.
[SPEAKER_04]: And he's got this awesome new gig as a pump bartender.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Sandevel's freaking sexy is hell.
[SPEAKER_02]: I love that this is said almost every episode.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're at, like, every episode.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're like, we're at a great place right now.
[SPEAKER_04]: We've got a new lease on this.
[SPEAKER_02]: By the end of the episode, it's like, we are not in a good place.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then, miraculously, the next episode, it's like, we are flying, guys.
[SPEAKER_04]: These are going over here.
[SPEAKER_04]: It really is like a groundhog day situation where they like, they like seemingly just like their brains get wiped every night when they go to sleep and they wake up and they're like Oh Today is a new day.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm on top of the world and invite by the time night falls.
[SPEAKER_04]: They're like, I've never been a darker place in my life So confusing.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know what's going on over there.
[SPEAKER_05]: It's so awesome
[SPEAKER_04]: The Tom's give Jack's shirts with his nose on them.
[SPEAKER_04]: They love to do this.
[SPEAKER_04]: They love to do the shirt thing.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's kind of like a gimmick of theirs.
[SPEAKER_04]: And the boys get their eyebrows threaded.
[SPEAKER_04]: I really want to take just kind of a moment to say that the hats that are worn in this scene are something to behold.
[SPEAKER_04]: Tom is wearing, Tom's hand of all is wearing his insane beanie.
[SPEAKER_04]: Tom Schwartz is wearing what looks like almost a wicker pork pie hat.
[SPEAKER_04]: How did I miss this?
[SPEAKER_04]: I actually could not believe my eyes watching it.
[SPEAKER_04]: And they paned over to Tom and Tom sitting there.
[SPEAKER_04]: And I was like, the hat's being worn right now.
[SPEAKER_04]: Her crazy crazy.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna have to look this up.
[SPEAKER_04]: And he was wearing it the whole time shorts was wearing that little pork pie hat the whole time He was fucking Jason morazing out.
[SPEAKER_04]: No way.
[SPEAKER_04]: It was nuts.
[SPEAKER_04]: It was Shorts.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'll give you $25 right now if you send us a video of you doing that in the hat shorts
[SPEAKER_04]: Please sing Jason Razzas, I'm yours for us.
[SPEAKER_04]: We'll pay you for that one $5 at it's my tap Sand of all says at some point because he's you know, he's the one who's most used to getting his eyebrows Thread if he said people put in a lot of effort into how they look and it shows I put even more effort in so it doesn't show
[SPEAKER_04]: Right, totally.
[SPEAKER_02]: They pull up to this eyebrow threading place.
[SPEAKER_02]: First, they're trying to like buff out for a second.
[SPEAKER_02]: And be like, and be the best.
[SPEAKER_02]: Then they sort of embrace it for a second.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're like, yeah, you know, Tom, you're like, you're so metro-sexual, and you just totally embraced it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's like to me, this whole conversation reads is like them dancing around and justifying to themselves that like, they aren't gay.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, 100%.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not here in a gay way.
[SPEAKER_04]: They're like pointing and laughing as everyone's getting their eyebrows They're like, oh, ho ho.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like it hurts you and it's a beauty thing that you're doing right and it's like and then they do it to you guys are there You're all there.
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's either they like have to make fun of it right because if they don't it like becomes too real It's so Tom Sandival doing Sheena's dances.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, where it's like we know you just want to do the dance.
[SPEAKER_04]: So doly
[SPEAKER_04]: Just get your eyebrows threaded.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's fine.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, nobody's mad at you, but Jackson's Jackson especially, I think is like feeling very insecure in that eyebrow threading place.
[SPEAKER_04]: But anyway, Boof.
[SPEAKER_04]: Over to Sir.
[SPEAKER_04]: Katie and Stasi are rolling up because even though Stasi said Sir is done, it's in her past.
[SPEAKER_04]: She needs to have goat cheese balls.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, Katie's there for
[SPEAKER_02]: Everyone just I ignore her.
[SPEAKER_04]: She's here to do her thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't even look over here Talk to her.
[SPEAKER_02]: She doesn't want to be involved with the people at sex unique restaurant in lounge She doesn't like all that bullshit.
[SPEAKER_02]: She does need to be here for her daily field trip.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right, okay Listen, it's a daily field trip.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's just those are the rules.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is her mental health walk.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is
[SPEAKER_04]: This is her hot girl walk totally.
[SPEAKER_04]: Over to sir to get go cheese balls.
[SPEAKER_02]: For sure, absolutely.
[SPEAKER_02]: Stasi immediately walks up to Ariana at the bar and they have a little giggle about Stasi craving these go cheese balls.
[SPEAKER_02]: Ariana does put in in order for Stasi under the employee computer with all these specifications.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a very rigorous process.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it is.
[SPEAKER_02]: You gotta be real specific about it.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I've actually had the go cheese balls.
[SPEAKER_02]: Very good.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, very good shout out to sexy Nate Gresson, restaurant and lounge.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm excited to try them some day.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, and Stasi starts asking Ariana how things are going with Tom.
[SPEAKER_02]: She says her and Tom are doing really well.
[SPEAKER_02]: They've been renovating the apartment, putting up shelves, and you know, he's just so pumps.
[SPEAKER_02]: Not have picture frames with the word family around the house because Kristen is like so redone core.
[SPEAKER_02]: Tom's like, I'm done living laughing and loving.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to live laugh or love.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now it's all about sick.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm fucking now.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm freaking fucking my girlfriend.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's awesome.
[SPEAKER_02]: OK.
[SPEAKER_02]: So then Ariana starts giving Stasi the recap of the cable box drama.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: And how Kristen came in all done up in Ariana.
[SPEAKER_02]: It was like this is a lot for what's happening.
[SPEAKER_02]: And that Kristen basically just cried for 45 minutes straight.
[SPEAKER_02]: Awesome.
[SPEAKER_02]: Stasi says that she has had zero communication with Kristen since last year.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stasi also comments about how she thinks it's so weird how everyone has been so forgiving.
[SPEAKER_02]: That she and Kristen now have matching tattoos together.
[SPEAKER_02]: And that, yeah, the group outside of Stasi seems to be just brushing past everything that happened.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's bizarre, which I agree, it is bizarre.
[SPEAKER_04]: I completely agree.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think that this is a weird, cultural thing of that restaurant, specifically, that they will just completely fuck everyone and each other over.
[SPEAKER_04]: And then they're like, so why haven't you forgiven me for that?
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like, yeah, I slept with your ex-boyfriend and he was a friend, but why aren't you over that already?
[SPEAKER_02]: It also seems like there's not a lot of reflecting on what's happened either and like Stasi asks Ariana, she's like literally for my own understanding, like how do you
[SPEAKER_02]: just sit with all of this like how are you cool with sheenah being close with Kristen and those lines being blurred and Ariana says Kristen isn't worth a thought she's not worth thinking about at all.
[SPEAKER_02]: So she's like no right but like it's not really about that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Trust me I agree that she is worthless but this
[SPEAKER_04]: and Ariana really doesn't have much to say to that.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's kind of like, yeah, but this is part of the confusing me because it's like not only is there like a delusion in this group or they're like, well, TikTok, why haven't you forgiven me for all the horrible things I've done?
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, time has passed.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's also like an avoidance to even like really facing some of it at all.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes, yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I will say it's not like totally apples to apples in that like Kristen is not terrorizing Ariana and Ariana's done nothing.
[SPEAKER_02]: Ariana did cheat with top.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's like there's there's something.
[SPEAKER_04]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_02]: And
[SPEAKER_02]: I, if I was Ariana, I would still probably be irritated at sheena for sure.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't, yeah, I don't understand.
[SPEAKER_04]: I really don't understand why Ariana, like, gives sheena a pass for that.
[SPEAKER_04]: Maybe it's just because, like, she feels some sort of sympathy for sheena because she knows that sheena has been, like, trying to be in with these girls for such a long time, and, like, now she is, so maybe she's trying to, like,
[SPEAKER_04]: Give her that.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't really know, but I yeah, I don't really understand why Ariana would be okay with it other than also like Maybe it's just her like staunch determination to just be like cool girl right you know and be like, yeah, I'm not affected by it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, cuz I'm like I would be Yeah, I think I think this yeah, this would
[SPEAKER_04]: Certainly this would piss me off because also it's like what for her to respond to Stasi's question by being like Oh, like Kristen isn't worth a thought and it's like okay, but this is also about she now, right Right, I don't even necessarily I don't disagree with Ariana of her being like, yeah No, I'm just not gonna like right consider the whole Kristen thing But like yeah, this is your best friend who's now choosing to be best friends with this person yeah
[SPEAKER_04]: who from what you're saying is like actively trying to destroy a relationship.
[SPEAKER_04]: So like why are you cool with that?
[SPEAKER_04]: Question marks question why on earth would Chris and she and I get a matching tattoo It's so funny and they're like fucking treble clef's You guys are not truly you guys are not why you guys aren't musical like that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Sorry No, but also like literally less than a season ago.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, they were beefing hated each other like what how do we go from being like
[SPEAKER_02]: Beeping to matching tattoos.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, we have this short of a time span.
[SPEAKER_04]: We've determined that tattoos on the show.
[SPEAKER_04]: Me nothing.
[SPEAKER_02]: They do me nothing.
[SPEAKER_04]: Tattoos on the show don't mean a damn thing.
[SPEAKER_04]: And this is what is so funny about this show.
[SPEAKER_04]: Is literally people being like, they're my sworn enemy.
[SPEAKER_04]: I will never, ever fucking talk to them ever, ever again.
[SPEAKER_04]: And then like, one season goes by and they're like, we, we bought a house to get there.
[SPEAKER_02]: They love to just like say things and then forget about it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, we're it's have no meaning in this It's incredible in this cast.
[SPEAKER_04]: They'll say whatever they want and really like stars that's kind of what Stasi saying and this is she's like Why isn't anybody actually like
[SPEAKER_04]: showing that they're mad like they are mad.
[SPEAKER_04]: Why is everybody just packing like it's normal?
[SPEAKER_02]: It feels like one of those moments like I Can recall I can see these faces inside my mind like I've been in situations where I felt like I was the only person reacting appropriately Yes, and I've looked around and been like what what's happening like why are you all just sitting there?
[SPEAKER_02]: You feel like gas lit and everyone's just like
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and I'm like No, like what are we doing?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I've never not had an opinion ever in my life.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like this is just not a problem.
[SPEAKER_04]: I've never had You guys don't know right what do you mean?
[SPEAKER_04]: We don't know and the thing is too is like I'm a bad liar So like if someone if someone is like saying some bullshit I'm gonna be looking at them and being like why are you saying bullshit right?
[SPEAKER_04]: What's going on?
[SPEAKER_04]: What the fuck are you talking about?
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah?
[SPEAKER_04]: Anyway, well well
[SPEAKER_04]: Let's goof on over to pump, why don't we?
[SPEAKER_02]: It's open and it's freaking overflowing with people.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Lisa's just relieved that it's been such an immediate success.
[SPEAKER_02]: Thanks.
[SPEAKER_02]: Goodness.
[SPEAKER_02]: I was so worried.
[SPEAKER_02]: And the pump manager immediately pulls Lisa to the side.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's like, so our buddy Tom Schwartz about him.
[SPEAKER_02]: He did have a panic attack.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, and Lisa's like, what, what do you mean he had a panic attack and the manager's like, yeah, yeah, so he did walk out in the middle of his shift because I've said panic attack and he just like didn't come back.
[SPEAKER_02]: So we are down, one, count him, one, Tom, shorts, one, shorts, and Lisa's like, are you fucking kidding me?
[SPEAKER_02]: He begged me for this job.
[SPEAKER_02]: I like, I rejected him.
[SPEAKER_02]: The last time he tried to work for one of my restaurants, I've thrown him a bone despite all the chaos that's been happening.
[SPEAKER_02]: He begged on his hands and fucking needs for this position.
[SPEAKER_02]: And he had a panic attack.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like one of his first days on the job and just left.
[SPEAKER_02]: What are we doing?
[SPEAKER_04]: What I would give to have Michael the pump manager come on the podcast and tell us about top sorts of panic and hack.
[SPEAKER_02]: Michael the pump manager.
[SPEAKER_02]: I need you to re-enact top sorts of panic and hack.
[SPEAKER_04]: Michael the pump manager.
[SPEAKER_04]: We will give you $25 to come on this podcast and talk about top sorts of panic and hack.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, make it $25 and one, count them, one, chunkess boyfriend has.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes, we'll give you free hat.
[SPEAKER_04]: Lisa also says at some point she says if this is an indication of how Tom Schwartz is going to run his life I'm I'm going to say to Katie beware.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, Lisa the profit third.
[SPEAKER_04]: I opened in that moment and she went Yeah, looking into the future and she was like this is not gonna be good for sure
[SPEAKER_02]: and I was in watching this and also just thinking about this in connection to dating and life in general recently.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that understanding and patience are far too emphasized to young women in dating.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like way to emphasize.
[SPEAKER_02]: I actually believe that most of the time we should be telling young women to be less understanding and less patient.
[SPEAKER_02]: I agree because I think that it has gone way too far in the other direction of like the amount of understanding in patients that young women are taught over time to grant to the men they're dating.
[SPEAKER_02]: It is like so fucking overblown.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't be patient or understanding.
[SPEAKER_02]: They probably won't change and you actually don't deserve to wait on them to change.
[SPEAKER_02]: Break up and if they do change, reopen the door then.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_02]: But why this is the thing, like why tell people that they should be understanding and patient and endure a chungist relationship when you could just go, actually, you know what, that's not how I like to be treated.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not the type of partnership I want to be in.
[SPEAKER_02]: So we're going to break up.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then if you evolve and get to a better place and we can be in a better place as a result of that, then like we'll explore it then.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but I feel like so many young women are just taught and expected to be understanding in patient of all of their male partner specifically's shortcomings in a way that just like saddles them with a child they didn't ask for.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, just like requires them to do more labor.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm over it.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm so over it and it's like, what are you enduring and why?
[SPEAKER_04]: Do you know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like, this is like a perfect, like the Tom Schwartz-Kadu dynamic is like this perfect encapsulation of so many of these types of relationships, where it's like this person on top of being, like emotionally immature, like stunted in his career, whatever, is also like,
[SPEAKER_04]: Not good to you.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's not like he's kind of like bumbling his way through life and he is like figuring things out But he's like a good person, right?
[SPEAKER_04]: He's like, you know actively trying to like make his life better He's bad to you and he's bad in his own life like yeah, what are we what are we also?
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like why are we trying to keep this right live the context of these things even if he was like to me even if he was like
[SPEAKER_02]: such a sweet heart, but he was so violently incompetent that he was basically just living with you as the sole breadwinner for years, while he didn't even attempt to like make money and support you guys at all.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I, I
[SPEAKER_02]: That's like weaponized incompetence completely he completely has the ability to do more than he is Yeah, he just doesn't want to and he makes it seem like it's
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_05]: It's wrong with me.
[SPEAKER_05]: I just can't do it.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like, okay, you're well, have you considered that maybe you're a fucking loser?
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, I also litter that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Even if it was, even if like, let's, we, I understand this not to be true about Tom Schwartz.
[SPEAKER_02]: But even if there was some external circumstance that was preventing him from like locking the fuck in, do something.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, do something.
[SPEAKER_02]: Literally anything like what is happening?
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes, this is so this is so um indicative also of like Relationships that you have in your 20s versus like as you get older and move into like your like adult life We're like yeah, you end up with some guy because he's like funny or something and has like good hair And you're like that's enough to build an entire relationship off of and then you realize that like oh all the Like things that you thought were like boring and unimportant when you were a kid of like
[SPEAKER_04]: Someone who's like driven and has like ambition in their career or like is capable in any way or Shows up on time to things or whatever those things are actually Foundational to a good partner.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah
[SPEAKER_04]: like they are genuinely truly foundational and it doesn't matter how funny the guy is or how good his hair is when he has a panic attack five minutes into the first job that he's had in four years because he literally just had to work.
[SPEAKER_04]: I can't remember if I said this on one of the emotionally online episodes, but I was seeing a guy recently, very sweet person.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't actually blame him for this, but there was a day where I was trying to get to a party that I had invited him to, and he was like 45 minutes late to my apartment before we were going to the party, and I remember sitting there and logging that and being like,
[SPEAKER_04]: This isn't happening again.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, yeah, totally.
[SPEAKER_04]: And we're no longer seeing each other.
[SPEAKER_04]: So like, that's the type of thing where it's like, you think that those things are little inconsistencies in a person, they're not.
[SPEAKER_04]: But they're not.
[SPEAKER_04]: And that's what adds up as time goes on because you spend so much time with this person who is your partner, and then you
[SPEAKER_02]: No, it actually makes me, like, actually makes me ill to think about.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like the, the, the lengths that people have gone to convince young women that those are small things that they should be understanding and patient about.
[SPEAKER_02]: I like start to have a twitch.
[SPEAKER_04]: Meanwhile, on the opposite end, it's like, then women are told that they need to show up in whatever way that the man asks for them to show up as.
[SPEAKER_04]: And it's like, the double standard is just fucking crazy.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's just insane.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like, yeah, call me crazy.
[SPEAKER_04]: But I think that if you're in a partnership with someone, it should be a true partnership.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, fucking.
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[SPEAKER_04]: this storyline like actually, it like makes my head hurt.
[SPEAKER_04]: After we learn from Michael the pump manager that Schwartz had a panic attack and left his first and only shift, we boof over to Katie and Tom's apartment and
[SPEAKER_04]: what I will say is that the way that this is edited is awesome because it opens with like a very depressed shot of like the pump a button down shirt and tie like hanging loosely on like a stair railing and the editor is like or the the camera guy like zooms in on that just to kind of emphasize Schwartz's failure and Schwartz is like sitting on the bed and he looks like he's so frail and
[SPEAKER_04]: work where she goes to work and she shows up and she's like hey like what happened man and he was like it was so crazy like a crowd of people rushed the gates and there were so many people there and Katie was like how many bartenders were there and he was like like three and Katie's like sort of actually a really good amount of bartenders.
[SPEAKER_04]: That is plenty actually.
[SPEAKER_04]: That is plenty and it cuts to like a grainy.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like grainy cam footage of Schwartz at pump, like having this panic attack as he's explaining to Katie, like what happened and that he like started not being able to breathe and whatever any he had to leave and Katie is like, even Jacks can do this job.
[SPEAKER_02]: Even Jax can do this job.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's potentially like one of the biggest disses that you could deliver.
[SPEAKER_04]: Imagine like falling off so hard that someone says to you, even Jax Taylor could do this.
[SPEAKER_04]: Whoa.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like actually whoa and Kate here's the thing is like Katie sing all of this stuff that makes me be like yes girl And then she stays with him for like seven more years.
[SPEAKER_04]: All right, so it's frustrating, but like in this present moment in time what she's saying to him is like
[SPEAKER_04]: All really true because she's like, listen, you leaving and not being able to do this job that I thought for you to get right I put my put my head out and put my neck out to for you to get this job She says it displays your lack of commitment and towards so it's like, no, let's not start this let's not do this Bubba and she's like you couldn't commit to one shift
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, you had a panic attack because you couldn't ring something up.
[SPEAKER_04]: My boyfriend couldn't handle his bartending job, but he's going to make a great father.
[SPEAKER_04]: And it's like, yes, that eats down Katie, but then like, stand on business.
[SPEAKER_04]: Leave then.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what does it not an isolated incident?
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so worst stuff to watch because you just have like, we're watching Katie just swallow that pain.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: Instead of like,
[SPEAKER_02]: saying it out loud and embracing it is the truth.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like he is not and cannot be what you want him to be.
[SPEAKER_04]: No.
[SPEAKER_04]: And whatever potential you have seen in him or saw in him or that's all it's ever going to be is potential.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: She swallows it in the name of being patient and understanding and loving and
[SPEAKER_02]: believing in his ability to step up which he shows time and time again that he won't choose to do.
[SPEAKER_02]: Ever.
[SPEAKER_02]: And like the other part of it for me is like when I hear that someone has a panic attack, my immediate instinct is to want to be understanding towards that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Of course, as someone who is medicated for anxiety and has thrown out from a panic attack force, I'm like, I get it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like that sucks and it is full body.
[SPEAKER_02]: And
[SPEAKER_02]: this is not how you handle that no no you can't just walk out on your job and not say anything yep and then go home and be like ah well I tried I tried it was really hard and then
[SPEAKER_02]: He basically just immediately throws in the towel.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not like he has this panic attack.
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's like trying to help people understand why it happened and like try to make a plan for how to make sure this doesn't continue happening.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like he's like, I just need more training.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I won't be, I feel XYZ, whatever.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like he's just like, I'm feeling stressed out.
[SPEAKER_02]: I had a panic attack.
[SPEAKER_02]: And now I can't do anything and you can't make me.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like that's not an acceptable solution.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's so frustrating because, yeah, there's just, this is the type of person who honestly makes me more angry than any other type of person where it's someone who has every ability to help themselves and they don't, every turn they do not.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't, I honestly frustrates the fuck out of me.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's so fucking annoying, where it's like these people who actually, the world is happening to them and that they have no agency over their own life.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm like, get a fucking grip and grow the fuck up.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, I really, I get so heated about it because I'm just like, you have every available resource and people
[SPEAKER_04]: And also people are trying to help you, right?
[SPEAKER_04]: That's what so crazy too is it's like there are other people in your life actively trying to help you.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: And then every turn you are sabotaging.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: I have no patience for that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Neither do I.
[SPEAKER_02]: Apparently Katie does.
[SPEAKER_02]: Be less patient and understanding challenge.
[SPEAKER_02]: My God.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so Booth.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's nose job day!
[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes you gotta get a new nose... Shack!
[SPEAKER_02]: Shack!
[SPEAKER_04]: Tailor nose best!
[SPEAKER_02]: And now he can snort even more cocaine!
[SPEAKER_02]: They made the whole so much bigger for all that coke!
[SPEAKER_02]: He can store it in his side like a squirrel in its cheeks!
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what they did, dude!
[SPEAKER_02]: Jack's Taylor's nose!
[SPEAKER_05]: Slow release of coke into his bloodstream throughout the day!
[SPEAKER_02]: They give it him a bionic nose.
[SPEAKER_02]: He can do incredible things with that shenanigans.
[SPEAKER_04]: Jacks, Jacks Taylor's cyborg, but exclusively for Coke and.
[SPEAKER_04]: We are at Dr.
[SPEAKER_04]: Lakes off his bay bay and Schwartz and Jackson are there for Jack's get his nose done.
[SPEAKER_04]: Jack's comments on how he hopes that Schwartz does drop heinous on his face while he's under the knife because these guys have a habit of drawing a penis on each other's faces when they go to sleep.
[SPEAKER_04]: And it really just makes you put your head in your hands about how pathetic these guys are.
[SPEAKER_04]: Famously the funniest thing.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's really, it's one of those things were like sometimes That's not what when I'm talking to like my friends or something and I'm like God like I do think that we are funny And then you kind of think about like what do other people find funny Shorts is dying.
[SPEAKER_04]: Look at you look at your freaking dick dude shorts loved that part Shorts let us know if you loved that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Shorts is in the comments like timestamp.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is the best part
[SPEAKER_04]: time stamp love that part.
[SPEAKER_04]: And short is like yeah, like I'm happy to help jacks, but I'm just a little worried because there is like a lot of stuff going on in my life right now, and it's like, okay, you literally live in a hell of your own making.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know what to tell you.
[SPEAKER_04]: Check out the shorts that's just going to sit in the waiting room all day because he's got nothing to do I've got literally nothing going on He's so me when I was unemployed and like my friend would be like, hey, I need to do this thing for work Can you help me on like a Tuesday at 1 p.m.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was like, yeah, I'm there.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm so there.
[SPEAKER_04]: I want to Jack's um walks into the doctor's office and immediately points and laughs at a picture of boobs on the counter
[SPEAKER_02]: he's like fucking awesome.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, so that's sick in that rocks.
[SPEAKER_04]: And Dr. Lake comes in, he's kind of giving him his like the preamble to this, you know, surgery that he's about to have.
[SPEAKER_04]: And he's like, so, you know, like, no alcohol for a week, and also you're not going to want to raise your blood pressure.
[SPEAKER_04]: So like, probably like no physical activity, like no sex, whatever.
[SPEAKER_04]: Jacks goes, what?
[SPEAKER_02]: No sex?
[SPEAKER_02]: No alcohol?
[SPEAKER_02]: No sex?
[SPEAKER_04]: He was like, well, we'll see about that one.
[SPEAKER_04]: He basically in a talking head is like, whatever.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm gonna fuck and I'm gonna drink.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, no, I like might medically have to fuck.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I don't.
[SPEAKER_02]: What is wrong with these men in the inability to be sexless for even like one calendar day?
[SPEAKER_04]: Well, it's like men jerk off challenge.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like just just totally masturbate.
[SPEAKER_04]: Get a sock you weird day.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, fucking freak.
[SPEAKER_04]: All right, well, I hope you do me right because my face and my body here, these are my two greatest assets and it's like, okay, moment of clarity.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, true.
[SPEAKER_02]: Wait, Jack Taylor told the truth.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's the first time Jack Taylor's ever told the truth that his face and his body are his two best assets and so Jack's goes under the knife.
[SPEAKER_04]: They're like chipping away it is no and finally there was peace in the world.
[SPEAKER_02]: The second that Jack's goes under, it's like, he slowly goes out of consciousness in his silent for a little bit.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I, like, just makes you think like, where was I when we knew true peace?
[SPEAKER_04]: Well, this is the thing.
[SPEAKER_04]: I have to imagine that I was kind of like looking at a dolphin, like, you know, flipping out of the water is like the sun was setting totally.
[SPEAKER_04]: And I was like eating a turkey sandwich on the beach or something.
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like in one of those Lisa Frank,
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, you know the vibe.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes, it was like Zara Larsen midnight song exactly.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's what we were experiencing when Jack's went under the knife.
[SPEAKER_02]: And like if only we knew that that's maybe one of the only times we'd no piece.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, there's like a rippling of calm throughout the world.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's because Jack's is getting another fucking nose job.
[SPEAKER_02]: We need to understand what it's going to take to put Jack's Taylor under anesthesia in perpetuity.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let us know.
[SPEAKER_04]: We would love to put Jack's Taylor into a coma, to a medically induced coma.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to put him in a medically induced coma and then put him in Madam Tuso's wax medium.
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's just for me to be clear.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's just for me to go check him out and observe what he's going to do.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's just because you like Madame Tussauds.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's because I'm a huge Madame Tussauds.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to be able to observe Jack's Taylor when evil is paused.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, he's doing freeze-framed in Madame Tussauds' wax museum.
[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_02]: Under medical supervision.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's a team of scientists behind him.
[SPEAKER_02]: Dr. Tom Schwartz, it's Dr. Tom Schwartz.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's right, in a lab code.
[SPEAKER_04]: We've given him that title.
[SPEAKER_04]: We've hired him for this whole exhibition.
[SPEAKER_04]: We've put Tom Schwartz through medical school, purely for this moment.
[SPEAKER_02]: So get your tickets now.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_04]: So Jack's wakes up post-nosed surgery, and he's saying a bunch of bullshit because he's, you know, but on a bunch of drugs He's like, oh, I can out with a huge jail of no chin never in thinking what?
[SPEAKER_02]: And also Tom Schwartz starts to cry This is my favorite part of the whole episode.
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like Tom Schwartz, I think I got a nose job
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I came out and realized enough like it is just in those jobs Tom Schwartz walks into the Rumpo surgery And he immediately starts crying.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like fuck.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what's going on with me, man And he goes I don't know why I'm crying.
[SPEAKER_02]: I get nervous
[SPEAKER_02]: What did you mean?
[SPEAKER_02]: He came out of surgery successfully.
[SPEAKER_02]: You walk into the room and you're like, I'm the one crying.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just nervous right now.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm just nervous.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like the thing happened already.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's done.
[SPEAKER_04]: If you were going to cry, you think it would happen before, not after.
[SPEAKER_04]: Tom Schwartz's nervous system must be completely fried.
[SPEAKER_04]: Something happened to him.
[SPEAKER_04]: There's no shot that like his nervous system under like a medical examination.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's just everything you can just know for me.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is awesome.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think Tom Schwartz, we got to get you on here so we could talk about your childhood and like really dig into these early memories of yours that may be could have made you the way that you are.
[SPEAKER_04]: I would like Tom Schwartz to be hypnotized on this podcast so that he can do kind of like childhood regression and we understand why he ended up being the way that he is.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to childhood regress Tom Schwartz live on.
[SPEAKER_05]: We are going to get Elizabeth Winkler to do hypnosis therapy on Tom Schwartz.
[SPEAKER_02]: Elizabeth Winkler, PhD.
[SPEAKER_02]: PhD.
[SPEAKER_04]: She will hypnotize Tom Schwartz live on camera here.
[SPEAKER_04]: You heard it here first.
[SPEAKER_04]: It will be happening.
[SPEAKER_04]: I also love that Jack's so drugged up.
[SPEAKER_04]: The doctor, whoever this person is, assistant is helping get the IV out of him or whatever.
[SPEAKER_04]: And he turns to her and he's like, I love you.
[SPEAKER_04]: And she's like, okay, yeah, that's nice.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, totally.
[SPEAKER_04]: He goes, no, I love you.
[SPEAKER_04]: I love you.
[SPEAKER_04]: And he just keeps petting.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, fucking it was also like so concerned about where the drugs were going because she was like Okay, I'm gonna detach your IV now and Jackson's like wait, is that where the drugs are going?
[SPEAKER_03]: Please don't stop the drugs the drugs.
[SPEAKER_03]: I need them.
[SPEAKER_02]: I need those like you're fine You're gonna go home and you're gonna get drugs from the pharmacy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's like, okay I love you.
[SPEAKER_04]: I love you so much.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm literally in love with you
[SPEAKER_04]: They're such fucking bozos, dude.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's so crazy how much of these two idiots are.
[SPEAKER_04]: They're so, they're such a, they're so fucking dumb and watching them try to do anything is like genuinely astounding.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: It is astounding.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like I just started recently watching Broad City for the first time and it does actually feel like way more sinister Broad City where it's like the two of the dumbest people alive trying to do one singular thing and they just can't it's awesome.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's so sick
[SPEAKER_05]: All right, so boof.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're at Sir, and Katie and Stasi are at Stur.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, you know what?
[SPEAKER_02]: I had that written, I thought it was, uh, I thought I mistyped it.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, I literally, I look like a boof to stir.
[SPEAKER_02]: Why would I write that?
[SPEAKER_04]: You're at Stur, not Sir.
[SPEAKER_04]: Not Sir.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is Sexy Talented in Dr. Stur.
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, Restaurant Restaurant.
[SPEAKER_02]: the sexy talented interesting restaurant famously a competitor of sur um Katie it's not so you're getting dinner and so she's like so what charts is droplets now Katie's like yeah I'm fucking pissed I've been bangles in a throw my bone and this is what he does
[SPEAKER_02]: trick.
[SPEAKER_02]: Look at your boyfriend.
[SPEAKER_02]: He has his shit together.
[SPEAKER_02]: He has a career.
[SPEAKER_02]: Schwartz has nothing and no plan to create anything.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, yeah, well, now I know what it's like to have a real man as a boyfriend.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's so cool having my boyfriend.
[SPEAKER_04]: Cool and have a career.
[SPEAKER_02]: I could just like never date someone who doesn't have that drive and passion now.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just need everyone to remember this.
[SPEAKER_02]: Patrick may have drive in passion, but he also has a lot of other things, including misogyny and a man bun more on this later.
[SPEAKER_02]: So, Stasi starts talking about the upcoming okay magazine part.
[SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_02]: Everyone's gonna be there, except for Drax.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're all gonna get dressed up, and Stasi's like, okay, well, it'll be fine, like, we'll just keep to ourselves.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're not gonna mingle with the rest of the group.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's free booze, but I don't want shorts to bring over Shina or bother us with people or whatever.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Kate is like, yeah, no, for it's he won't do any of that.
[SPEAKER_02]: He knows better at this point, but anyway, he's like, don't you want to know why Jack's isn't coming in Stossie's like, um, no, I don't really care about the map with peace and love and Katie's just smoking.
[SPEAKER_04]: She's been waiting to say this, but you see, she is just so excited.
[SPEAKER_02]: So Jack's got a nose job.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stasi just immediately busts out laughing.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's clear that they're laughing.
[SPEAKER_02]: because they're like, oh, he got a nose job because he has a deviate, it's so clear that yeah, it's not directly said, but it's basically alluded that it's obviously it's not the deviate, it's up to Mexico problem.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_04]: this magical deviated septum.
[SPEAKER_04]: Stasi lit out like genuinely like a gutteral laugh.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like a laugh that I've like never heard her laugh before.
[SPEAKER_04]: She it's like coming from so deep inside her like how I'm using she finds this.
[SPEAKER_04]: Because she's also like listen like I don't care if someone wants to get work done.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like I got a I haven't a new chin like I don't give a fuck.
[SPEAKER_04]: She's like
[SPEAKER_04]: But for him to act as though it's because of his deviated side.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's an off jacks.
[SPEAKER_04]: Enough jacks.
[SPEAKER_04]: Enough jacks challenge.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're in traffic.
[SPEAKER_02]: Schwartz is driving Jack's home from the nose job.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Jack's is acting like he has been shot in the heart.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's yelling at Schwartz for having to step on the brakes.
[SPEAKER_02]: Famously a part of driving that you cannot get rid of.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_04]: And he's like, I'm gonna cry.
[SPEAKER_04]: I can't handle traffic.
[SPEAKER_04]: I want to go home.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's like straight up a toddler having a tantrum in the car.
[SPEAKER_02]: And you know what?
[SPEAKER_02]: I was in my head watching this being like, you know what?
[SPEAKER_02]: Actually, he's so real for that.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, when they have you on those drugs, you do feel so irrational emotionally.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I remember coming down from getting my wisdom teeth out and like,
[SPEAKER_02]: When I got my wisdom to them, we were driving home.
[SPEAKER_02]: There was an ice cream truck driving in front of us.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I kept asking my mom if we could stop to get ice cream, and she kept being like, no, he's driving.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, you can't stop, and I was sobbing about it.
[SPEAKER_02]: if you couldn't reckon that you couldn't reason with me at the time.
[SPEAKER_02]: So fun.
[SPEAKER_02]: But I like I understand when the drugs have you in that space.
[SPEAKER_02]: Suddenly your buddies stepping on the brakes and you're like, I'm literally going to kill you.
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm going to fucking kill you.
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm so upset that you're getting the brakes.
[SPEAKER_04]: eventually end up back at Jackson's place and he like immediately like flops down on his bed and he goes I need my drugs!
[SPEAKER_04]: He is just like screaming at the top of his lungs and just shorts is like okay okay and they're like going through Jackson's like litany of drugs that he has but like apparently the one pill that he needs the vaikid in they did not pick up and do not have a prescription for
[SPEAKER_04]: So, Jack's is freaking out because he needs his drugs now, otherwise he's gonna lose it, and Schwartz is like, okay, okay, obviously Schwartz has never done anything right in his life, so they're like kind of talking about that when there's a knock on the door.
[SPEAKER_04]: And Schwartz is like re-expecting someone, and Jack's is like, no, he's like lying on the bed.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's like, no, okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: Schwartz goes over to the door and he first sees Peter, who's like, hey, and Schwartz is like, oh, hey, and then he realizes that right behind Peter is one miss Lisa Vanderpump.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_04]: And Schwartz goes, oh,
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, Lisa, I'm only seeing you here.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Lisa's like, not now.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll get you later.
[SPEAKER_04]: Lisa at some point in like her talking hands, she's like, you know, I have like a really good relationship with everybody at the surf staff.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm kind of like their mother hen.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I figured I'd just have to stop by and check in on Jackson.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like, hey, you don't have to do that.
[SPEAKER_04]: And actually, I think it's wildly inappropriate as the boss to go to your employees apartment.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also like the state that Jacks is in, like he's so fucking out of it screaming for drugs and his sweat pants are like almost around his mid thigh like they're like falling off his body.
[SPEAKER_04]: He just got home right this is it's not like they're checking in on him like a day later.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like he knows just got home.
[SPEAKER_04]: They walk through the door five minutes ago.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's in a state.
[SPEAKER_04]: And Tom Tom and Lisa kind of end up in the kitchen and Tom is like, hey, like, can I get you anything like is there anything you want I can make you tea or whatever and she's like, yeah, that'd be great.
[SPEAKER_04]: And then he was like, ah, can I offer you I really actually we can only do iced tea and she was like, yeah, fucking that's fine.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like whatever shut up and Tom goes, you look amazing by the way.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's like shut up, like shut the fuck up, not get off.
[SPEAKER_04]: And Lisa and her talking head is like, I'm not sure I understand these American men.
[SPEAKER_04]: One god knows job for pure vanity.
[SPEAKER_04]: One ran away from a job like a scared bunny.
[SPEAKER_04]: And they've both got eyebrows like grittigabbo.
[SPEAKER_02]: Meanwhile, Jack's is bugging out because I'm on drugs and everything is crazy and Lisa Vanir pumps in my apartment and I have my entire kitchen stocked full of things I've stolen from her restaurant and it's banning to like Vanir pump vodka Sir salt and pepper shakers a bunch of Kotlery and it's like Jack's you have stolen so much stuff He's like I need her out of here right now
[SPEAKER_04]: And Tom's like, yeah, guys, like, we'd love for, you know, for you to stick around, obviously, but I gotta get to the pharmacy and get some vaikin' in and as Peter and Lisa are leaving Peter goes, Tom will air out the pharmacy, be sure to buy a set of balls.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also at some point, Jax does pull a dildo out of his pocket.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh my god, he's like, right, yes, they put this in my pocket before surgery.
[SPEAKER_02]: Who is they?
[SPEAKER_02]: Who put the dildo in your pocket?
[SPEAKER_04]: What do you mean they put this in my pocket?
[SPEAKER_02]: They put it in here before surgery.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, who?
[SPEAKER_04]: Who do you think?
[SPEAKER_04]: Are you not in your bag?
[SPEAKER_04]: Pulling out a dildo.
[SPEAKER_04]: They put this in my pocket before surgery.
[SPEAKER_02]: What do you mean?
[SPEAKER_02]: That is correct.
[SPEAKER_02]: I was really brush over it.
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, so did...
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, what happened?
[SPEAKER_04]: What do you mean?
[SPEAKER_04]: You didn't have that before, did you?
[SPEAKER_04]: Ha ha!
[SPEAKER_04]: Also, that's like, your pockets have got to be pretty big.
[SPEAKER_04]: As if it was a big dildo.
[SPEAKER_04]: Men's pockets are crazy.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, God, it really does put in perspective how much room there is in men's pockets.
[SPEAKER_02]: Men's pockets can fit a dildo.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're fitting a full dildo in your pocket, like a big one with the balls too.
[SPEAKER_04]: to put it like it had a suction base that Dildo.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, no.
[SPEAKER_04]: That was crazy.
[SPEAKER_04]: Anyway, Lisa saw it and she was like, all right, I have to leave.
[SPEAKER_04]: All right, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
[SPEAKER_02]: And the door closes and Schwartz is like, you know, I just, I love Lisa so much.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's why I'm so disappointed that I let her down.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Jackson's like, you don't walk out of fucking Morgan Stanley.
[SPEAKER_02]: You walk out of a bartending job.
[SPEAKER_02]: And this is how keeping stupid friends makes you stupid, too.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: Again, it's two dumb bitches telling each other exactly.
[SPEAKER_04]: And that's only okay when we do it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Two were two brilliant bitches.
[SPEAKER_02]: Two brilliant or exactly.
[SPEAKER_02]: Just telling each other exactly.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Two bitches who have never been wrong telling each other exactly.
[SPEAKER_04]: Of course, on this podcast, we tell the truth, the...
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay, so BOOF!
[SPEAKER_04]: We're at the slick rash.
[SPEAKER_04]: And James and Kristen are going to the gym together.
[SPEAKER_04]: They work out for approximately four minutes.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: And then they sit down and talk about James getting his job back.
[SPEAKER_04]: And he's like, I just got my job back.
[SPEAKER_04]: I need me job.
[SPEAKER_05]: I need me job.
[SPEAKER_05]: Really, really, I'm hoping I'll be able to get me job back.
[SPEAKER_04]: And in a talking head he's like my parents have known Ken and Lisa for a long time I think it'll be fine.
[SPEAKER_04]: It'll be monstrous if Lisa doesn't give me my job back Which is so funny to hear After last episode where Lisa's like, I don't fucking know that bitch
[SPEAKER_04]: Honestly, it's so funny that he's like my parents and Ken and Lisa are super tight.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, they're hanging out all the time.
[SPEAKER_02]: Totally lifelong best friends in separable biological besties They love each other.
[SPEAKER_04]: They go on trips together.
[SPEAKER_04]: Totally.
[SPEAKER_04]: Perhaps they've explored each other's bodies That's neither here nor there.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's not a my business.
[SPEAKER_04]: The point is is that because of that irreparable bond.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I will obviously be getting my job obviously nepotism wins
[SPEAKER_04]: Cut to Lisa last week.
[SPEAKER_04]: I've never seen that bitch before my life.
[SPEAKER_02]: It would be monstrous if she didn't give me my job back.
[SPEAKER_04]: And Kristen's like no, totally babe.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're so gonna get your job back.
[SPEAKER_04]: They also just go going to the okay magazine party and how everyone will be there and they're just like well we'll just like hang out with the cool people like it'll be totally fine.
[SPEAKER_03]: Honestly a similar tactic to what
[SPEAKER_04]: a similar tactic to what Stasi decided to do is like everyone seems to have it in their mind that like they're just going to go to this okay magazine party and like there won't be any drama right yeah because these cameras are just going to record nothing all night right just a chill night come on okay magazine party
[SPEAKER_02]: We're recording the show, give us a little juice.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, so Booth back over to Jack's apartment and it is like Jack's is actively dying.
[SPEAKER_02]: Begging Tom for drugs again, when Tom and Sheena arrive with donuts.
[SPEAKER_02]: craziest food choice truly donuts and they were like it's not like your classic Dunkin donuts.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know that's they were like the covered in bullshit, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: They were like the classic 2015 type donuts.
[SPEAKER_02]: So like when we had these like specialty donuts Like a donut had to like be an event, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: Whenever it's like a donut that's also a cake.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes at the same time.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm like we brought donuts and Jackson
[SPEAKER_04]: I want one, and he like grabs for a donut, and he's like slowly ripping a bag of gum.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's like a bear.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's like a bear that's been tricked.
[SPEAKER_04]: And he's like, he's kind of just like slowly like kind of just putting pieces of the donut in his mouth, like not really chewing it, just kind of whatever.
[SPEAKER_04]: And at one point they're like, oh my god, is his nose bleeding?
[SPEAKER_04]: It looks like it's bleeding, and it cuts like red goo on his face, and they're like, oh no, it's just jelly.
[SPEAKER_04]: It does like really look like blood, really does like the placement of it because it kind of went up under the band.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so it does look like it is coming from his nose, but I guess it's just jelly.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm also like.
[SPEAKER_02]: It pro- honestly, I think it is blood.
[SPEAKER_02]: Honestly, I think they're wrong.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think it was wrong and I think it was blood and they're just like, that's jelly.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's jelly.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's funny.
[SPEAKER_04]: Because I was also looking at that donut and I was like, I don't even know if that's a jelly donut.
[SPEAKER_05]: Sometimes going on here.
[SPEAKER_04]: Some things happening, but basically,
[SPEAKER_04]: Basically, Jackson's like doing shit that I've never fucking seen before.
[SPEAKER_04]: He also is on his bed in a way that is crazy He's not like lying down the long way.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, he's lying down so that like his legs are dangling off his bed the short way.
[SPEAKER_03]: Right
[SPEAKER_04]: He is also lying there pants again, like almost around his mid thigh.
[SPEAKER_04]: He has what used to be a medical glove filled up with ice water on his face.
[SPEAKER_04]: It is now just water in a glove.
[SPEAKER_04]: On his face, towel over his eyes, jelly and or blood dripping down his face with like pieces of donut in his mouth that he's kind of chewing kind of not.
[SPEAKER_04]: And lying on his chest just perched there is the dildo.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's literally acting like he just got home from war.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like his body has been absolutely savage, and he can't even lay on the bed correctly.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's just no reason for him to be acting this way over and no his job.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's so funny, so pathetic.
[SPEAKER_05]: And literally at one point, everyone leaves me just goes,
[SPEAKER_04]: I cannot it's so fucking funny.
[SPEAKER_04]: I literally it's like this is how I picture Jacks Taylor all the time like this is just this is who he is to me is like just sad it with a nose job on his bed with a dildo on his chest and jelly on his face or blood
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, so boo, boo.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're at Sir, Lisa's showing up with Ken and her dear friend Lance Bass of in Sync fame.
[SPEAKER_02]: And of course, his fiance for a little double date.
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, yeah, come on.
[SPEAKER_02]: Lisa immediately calls Peter over because the glasses are dirty, and that just won't do.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then sort of loops him into just taking their order and getting after it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Peter is really like, he's the manager of Sir and also Lisa's personal assistant.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, kind of for a little minion.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, so Shina is working and Katie and some other people are outside and Sir Alley, Peter joins them.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're talking about the Ok Magazine party and as they're talking, James walks up to Sir, um, really awkwardly kind of knocks over a glass when he walks up and Peter's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's going on here?
[SPEAKER_02]: You show up and just they're breaking shit.
[SPEAKER_02]: James is basically there with this tale between his legs, um, asking if he can talk to Lisa.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, Peter's like, um, okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, she's busy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is busy.
[SPEAKER_02]: So, and James is like, okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, like, would you mind asking her to come out in talk to me?
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, please.
[SPEAKER_04]: and Peter's like, okay, fine, so he walks in, he goes up to Lisa, and he's like, hey, James is outside.
[SPEAKER_04]: Honestly, I think he just wants his job back really bad, and Lisa's like, she's basically just like, this fucking guy.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's like just exhausted by him.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's tuckered her out.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, I am tired of this, and ultimately we do need bus boys right now.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so
[SPEAKER_02]: Fine, you go deal with it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Tell me as a job back.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't even want to talk to him.
[SPEAKER_04]: Peter's like, all right.
[SPEAKER_04]: He goes back out and he's like, all right.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, you got your job back.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like great.
[SPEAKER_04]: And James is like, thank you.
[SPEAKER_04]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_04]: I will prove to you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, yes, sir.
[SPEAKER_02]: You'll see a difference in my behavior.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm promise it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_04]: Of course.
[SPEAKER_04]: I will do everything in my power.
[SPEAKER_02]: Of course.
[SPEAKER_04]: To show you, to show you that I've changed.
[SPEAKER_04]: It can be the best bus boy, that's it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Pihuahua, Katie is watching all of this, and she says in her confessional, like, even tiny James is out here groveling and asking for his job back, and my boyfriend is the biggest fucking pussy on her.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, Katie, Katie somehow is like, yes, realizing that her boyfriend is such a loser, and yet she's just like, and I'm stuck with him, and there's nothing I can do about it.
[SPEAKER_02]: What are we going to do?
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm dating about that.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm dating a loser who somehow dumber than Jack's Taylor and less brave than James Kennedy.
[SPEAKER_04]: And there's nothing I can do.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm dating a loser and breaking up is not on the table.
[SPEAKER_02]: Week, we cannot break up for reasons undisclosed.
[SPEAKER_02]: I cannot tell you why we can't break up.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's for me to know.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's very private.
[SPEAKER_02]: Please stop asking me.
[SPEAKER_02]: I cannot share that here.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me email you.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, so Booth briefly to a car dealership where Lisa and Max are looking at Rolls Royces.
[SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't really care about this.
[SPEAKER_02]: See me either.
[SPEAKER_02]: Goodbye.
[SPEAKER_02]: Booth.
[SPEAKER_02]: To pump.
[SPEAKER_02]: Off we go.
[SPEAKER_02]: Lisa is chatting with some of the managers and then a Schwartz rolls up yet again like the Flossing Kid with his backpack pulled all the way up.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, why does he walk like I don't know why does he always walk with his thumbs tucked between the little straps like he's like first Damn school and then he didn't go like he walked totally he's giving his watch Rob and he like has literally the the backpack is this tight as possible Like tight straight on his back.
[SPEAKER_04]: You know he takes off that backpack and there's just like a sweat state Yeah big stuff.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's like he rocks up and he's kind of like rocking back and forth.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like hey guys It's as emotional support back right
[SPEAKER_02]: And so he asks to sit down with Lisa for five or ten minutes and she's like, okay, go on.
[SPEAKER_02]: Then they sit down with the bar together and Lisa's like, okay, you want to come and plead your case then.
[SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm, which he initially responds to and he's like, yeah, I do.
[SPEAKER_02]: But he really doesn't.
[SPEAKER_02]: He doesn't.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, I have so much respect for you and can and Lisa's like, yeah, all right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, let's.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's stop there then because what's so this what what's all this then clearly?
[SPEAKER_02]: You don't have any respect for either of us.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and Lisa's like not only did you let me down But you let yourself and Katie down as well.
[SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_02]: Lisa calls him a pussy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and so she gives up And then Schwartz just turns in his uniform like he doesn't try to fight for the job or like justify why he should have another shot And it at all, which was again kind of my
[SPEAKER_02]: there is a solution to having a panic attack at work.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: Well, this is like, this is what it is every time.
[SPEAKER_02]: The solution to having a panic attack at work absolutely should not be quitting upon that first panic attack.
[SPEAKER_02]: Usually we do some problem solving first.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like Schwartz acting like he's the first person ever to like be nervous at a job.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like brother that happens.
[SPEAKER_02]: We just have to like work through it.
[SPEAKER_04]: You just move through it again This is why we would love to have you on the pod and hypnotize you to make him Regress you back to your childhood.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like why why were we not capable of like asking for another training shift right?
[SPEAKER_04]: Let's problem solve.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's like figure out how to make us less nervous Yeah, we can excel at the job like why was the only solution was quitting just quit?
[SPEAKER_02]: No too hard.
[SPEAKER_04]: What's too hard equate?
[SPEAKER_04]: So Booth, back over to Jackson's apartment where I guess a group has gathered to like pre-game the okay magazine party, just like around Jackson's having his nose jaw.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is they want him to be in a coma and the madam too so it's also.
[SPEAKER_02]: He really do.
[SPEAKER_04]: Jackson's already drinking a wine cooler.
[SPEAKER_02]: This fucking guy, like I actually, these people actually piss me off so much, like I feel uniquely irked by people who are given blatant rules and instructions, and they blatantly ignore them.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they're like whatever.
[SPEAKER_02]: You think you're above rules and instructions?
[SPEAKER_02]: The type A eldest daughter and me starts to pop the fuck out.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, cuz I'm like There was no exception to you.
[SPEAKER_04]: Well, this is what's so crazy to me also as I'm like you're doing all of this for a wine cooler Right and also you can't drink for one singular week come on brother.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're in alcoholic.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is a problem I don't know what to tell you if you are like I cannot possibly go one week without drinking alcohol You're in alcoholic.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, oh
[SPEAKER_04]: Ooh, I hate to tell you that.
[SPEAKER_04]: Um, so Tom Schwartz, Tom's hand of all Ariana show up, Sheena and Shay also show up.
[SPEAKER_04]: Again, they're all kind of like pre-gaming this okay magazine party, I guess.
[SPEAKER_04]: And, um, they kind of just, I don't actually don't even really know how we get to this point, but like, they all just start shit talking, Katie.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, Sheena asks Schwartz where his less fun half is.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's the cake of the conversation.
[SPEAKER_04]: Sheena is not, sheena's not my girl in the scene.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, she's being really rude, but again, more of my critique here does fall on Schwartz certainly because it's like she is asking Schwartz a rude question.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, where's your less fun half?
[SPEAKER_02]: First of all, why does she know if you'll comfortable saying that to Schwartz?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, Schwartz, you should have made a abundantly clear long ago that people were not allowed to shit talk your girlfriend to you.
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
[SPEAKER_02]: clear that you have not made that clear and people feel that they can just shit talk Katie to you, which should not be the case.
[SPEAKER_02]: And beyond that, his like lazy excuse for standing up for Katie is basically just being like, oh guys, ah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and it's not like that, um, like he doesn't really actually defend her and say anything at all.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, and his response to Shina is just to be like, um, like I thought you guys were good.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now what happened?
[SPEAKER_04]: And she's like, no, we're not.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, we're not good.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's like, um, yeah, well, I thought so momentarily as well.
[SPEAKER_02]: But I invited her to my birthday and she straight up said no.
[SPEAKER_02]: So we are not good.
[SPEAKER_04]: And everyone in the room kind of like is starting to like pile on to Katie.
[SPEAKER_04]: Jackson's pissed because Katie didn't check in on him after his nose job, which is like, sorry, what?
[SPEAKER_04]: Like why would Katie check in on you after your nose job?
[SPEAKER_04]: You guys are not close.
[SPEAKER_04]: And he also claims that ever since Stasi got back, like Stasi has Katie on a leash.
[SPEAKER_04]: And so she's just going to do what Stasi wants.
[SPEAKER_04]: And so now they're not going to be close.
[SPEAKER_02]: And at one point, Jax is like, why are you trying to justify or stick up for Katie?
[SPEAKER_02]: Because shorts was like, oh, no, like, Katie wanted to be at your birthday.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, it wasn't like that.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Jax is like mad at shorts for the fending his girlfriend.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: And again, another reminder of why, if you hang out with shitty people, you become shitty yourself.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, because Tom Schwartz is now sitting there.
[SPEAKER_02]: His fucking moldable ass brain.
[SPEAKER_02]: that it's not good or cool for him to stick up for his girlfriend.
[SPEAKER_02]: He becomes more passive around the boys, more of like a fucking sheep.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_04]: In this group, he, yeah, he has fucking silly putty brain.
[SPEAKER_04]: And at one point, he's like,
[SPEAKER_04]: Come on guys.
[SPEAKER_02]: I want everyone to go around and say one nice thing that they like about Kate which is crazy by the way I actually couldn't believe he said that like to imagine Katie is not in this room though She is not here and Schwartz is like okay, everybody you have to go around and say one nice thing about my girlfriend that all of you apparently hate
[SPEAKER_02]: And like, what is Katie even done to you people?
[SPEAKER_02]: She doesn't fucking done anything.
[SPEAKER_02]: It just doesn't want to be friends with you guys.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, is that so crazy?
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, it's like, is it that I don't like that Jack's looks at Katie and Stasi and it's like, oh, well, Katie only has this opinion because Stasi told her to.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Have we considered that maybe Katie is just reacting from a friend's perspective after watching what Stasi was put through?
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, like have you considered that maybe Katie is Stasi's best friend and you're her fucking ex who fucked her other best friend?
[SPEAKER_04]: Why would she text you after your nose job chat?
[SPEAKER_04]: She doesn't give a fuck about you
[SPEAKER_04]: The idea of me like checking in on any of my friends, exes, who cheated on them and lighting on them and caused a reprobble damage.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I, you would actually have to like shoot me dead 57 times point blank before that ever happened.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm being like, hey, checking in on you after your nose job.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't give a fuck.
[SPEAKER_04]: I actually hope they removed your nose.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: I hope you're noseless.
[SPEAKER_02]: I hope they chopped it clean off.
[SPEAKER_02]: Totally.
[SPEAKER_02]: I hope there's just a hole in your face.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like burdo.
[SPEAKER_04]: From Mario Party.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, well first of all, Burdo's the name of my dad.
[SPEAKER_04]: So, really?
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, his name is Alberto.
[SPEAKER_04]: And everyone calls him burdo.
[SPEAKER_02]: Second thing about your does name was just burdo and I was like your dad's name is burdo Like B. I are D. Oh, no, it's burdo Yeah, that was crazy.
[SPEAKER_04]: So literally you said burdo and I I went who who my dad Come on burdo Yoshi's girlfriend shout out
[SPEAKER_04]: Sheenah also jumps in here and like as they're continuing to pile on and she's like Schwartz isn't it weird that like Katie's never here like Arianna and I are like basically the guy's girls But like Katie's never here.
[SPEAKER_04]: She only hangs out with stuff sheena sheena girl This is when I tie you to the cross and I make you listen to me.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is when you lose me This is when you lose me tomato tomato tomato.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, sometimes I like need to pull sheena aside and be like sheena I'm gonna believe for a second
[SPEAKER_04]: I wish that we were like Sina's referees in these everything seems so that we could like like lower whistle and feel it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Hold on, pause game.
[SPEAKER_02]: We need to talk to Sina.
[SPEAKER_02]: Flag on the play.
[SPEAKER_02]: We pull her to the side.
[SPEAKER_03]: We're like, she's like, oh, she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not
[SPEAKER_03]: We're like, if you do that, I can't, we are going to have to throw tomatoes at you just for like, you know, the public spectacle of this thing.
[SPEAKER_03]: We don't want to have to do that.
[SPEAKER_03]: We have tomatoes in a bag, they're ready to go, they're mushy, they're not going to hurt you, that much, but ultimately, we are going to have to throw them at you because that's just the name of the game when you say that you're a guy's girl.
[SPEAKER_03]: We have to, we have to, so you understand, you can take it back right now.
[SPEAKER_03]: Just take it back if you could.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: On pause game, we're ready.
[SPEAKER_03]: She's gonna redo this.
[SPEAKER_02]: I just, every time she says something like this, I'm gonna do this.
[SPEAKER_04]: She's losing me here.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, it's like not only is the guy's girl comment of it all fucking nauseating, but it's also like, have we considered that some people don't
[SPEAKER_02]: revolve their entire lives around their chunkies boyfriend, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: Some people would like time away from their chunkies boyfriend to have like their own friendships and lives.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Some people aren't in love with the idea of merging into one person with their partner.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also,
[SPEAKER_04]: those guys suck to hang out with right you guys are the worst you guys sucked you guys the all those men absolutely suck abs we're actually like nothing happened right this is what saucy was talking about right this friend group went through something insane yes of course there's a frac
[SPEAKER_04]: Right, what are we talking about?
[SPEAKER_04]: And they're all like wow.
[SPEAKER_04]: I can't believe Katie best friend of Stasi is choosing the hand with Stasi.
[SPEAKER_04]: She's just want to hang out with all of us She must hate you sure Stasi's ex-boyfriend who cheated on Stasi.
[SPEAKER_02]: What a crazy bitch What a bitch that Katie isn't going to hang out with Jack.
[SPEAKER_02]: She is a bitch and Katie didn't even check on Jack's after his coke nose job Not even a cursory text after my vanity nose job come on
[SPEAKER_02]: Fuck, and Ariana says nothing this entire time.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's just sitting there doing her makeup.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Which I thought was lame, Ariana.
[SPEAKER_04]: I agree.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think she's just kind of going dissociation mode in this scene, which like, okay, but I mean, I associate back in.
[SPEAKER_02]: A associate back in because I get it.
[SPEAKER_02]: So to hang out with these people, I would dissociate as well.
[SPEAKER_02]: Of course.
[SPEAKER_02]: But like you're dating one of them.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: So like this is an active choice you're making.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: and speaking of that guy, sandwall as they're all kind of leaving the head out to the okay magazine party, recreates when he punched Jacks in the face and he said, hey, Jacks, you feel this and like goes to pretend to punch him, and Jacks like, ah!
[SPEAKER_04]: He's like, hours on his bed.
[SPEAKER_04]: Wild.
[SPEAKER_04]: Tom said, well, you are such a fucking loser.
[SPEAKER_04]: He still thinks he's so big and bad for that.
[SPEAKER_04]: I know.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, you can tell that he just gets his rocks off to like thinking about that.
[SPEAKER_04]: Tommy Boy, Tommy Boy.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: So Boof!
[SPEAKER_04]: Over to the okay magazine party.
[SPEAKER_04]: Everyone shows up to the party.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like the whole gang is there, but they're in two separate groups.
[SPEAKER_04]: Sheena, Shay, Ariana, and Tom are sitting in one booth and in another booth on the other side of this weird building bar that they're in is Stasi Katie, Peter, Christina Kelly, and Schwartz.
[SPEAKER_04]: And sheena over in her booth says to Ariana and Tom that she also invited Kristen and James to sit in the booth with them as well.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
[SPEAKER_04]: Well, girl, she, no, girl.
[SPEAKER_04]: Flag on the play?
[SPEAKER_03]: Hey, she, no, she, okay.
[SPEAKER_03]: So, listen, I, we understand that you're like making whatever.
[SPEAKER_03]: Tell her choice, this is, she's ultimately, we didn't flag you on the play for that, but like, the thing is that you need to have something because I'm fucking to go right about the fact that you're, do you have him, Nisha?
[SPEAKER_03]: Do you have him, Nisha?
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm actually concerned about your memory capacity.
[SPEAKER_03]: The thing is, is like, the thing is, ultimately, is that like, are you all?
[SPEAKER_03]: And Kristen like can't fucking stand each other.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and I just end also James actively recently punched Tom in the face So I just like don't it and actually if you recall that was I'm pretty sure was I your birthday, Brian So I'm just kind of like you lost a foot over that.
[SPEAKER_03]: Don't you remember how you don't have any feet anymore Because I'll lose your arms next This is the thing you're already footless and if you're armless, then like I just don't know I'm scared for you right like I just don't know how that'll ultimately affect your good as gold dance performance That's and that's gonna be really big
[SPEAKER_03]: for you.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's just going to be big so like she and if you could just the thing is it's like we have the tomatoes in the bag but now the tomatoes are in our hands and like if you pull one more bag that's we're going to have to throw the tomatoes.
[SPEAKER_03]: She and us.
[SPEAKER_03]: She and her.
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay let's rethink.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay back back to resume.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can roll.
[SPEAKER_04]: Over in the other booth.
[SPEAKER_04]: Stasi, Katie, Peter, Christina Kelly and Schwartz are like looking over at the she and a table and they're like
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god, because they watch Kristen and James walk up to the booth and like sit down.
[SPEAKER_04]: They're like saucy specifically.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like I cannot believe what my eyes are showing me right now.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like this is crazy saucy stuff.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's gobsmacked.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: No one has a backbone.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: When it comes to enforcing the ban on Christians and like yeah, just reacting and remembering the past.
[SPEAKER_02]: The very recent past.
[SPEAKER_04]: And what's crazy too is like she's saying all of this and like I know that like the people that are with her like kind of a Greek because they're also all hanging out with Stasi, but also all of them aren't really saying anything either.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, Stasi's like, isn't this crazy?
[SPEAKER_04]: And like, kind of Christina Kelly is also like, yes, it is crazy.
[SPEAKER_04]: But like, everyone else is sort of like just there too.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what?
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stasi and her confessional says something about how she calls herself, Henry VIII.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's like, once you fuck up, it's off with your head.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, I understand.
[SPEAKER_02]: Period.
[SPEAKER_02]: That makes sense to me, actually.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_04]: And again, it's not like this was a minor fuck up.
[SPEAKER_04]: No, this was a big thing.
[SPEAKER_04]: This was a big fuck up, like, yeah, I told you.
[SPEAKER_04]: I also wouldn't talk to my best friend if she fucked my ex-boyfriend, multiple times.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then Schwartz is like, I kind of want to go over there just to experience it.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then he cooks up an absolutely brilliant idea.
[SPEAKER_04]: I am like, it's Schwartz even smart enough to think of this and did the previous talk.
[SPEAKER_02]: I actually do believe that this idea was probably planted.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think that too.
[SPEAKER_02]: where the loser has to go over and hang out at that table for five minutes.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_02]: There basically just pulling cards on an app.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: And the lowest card is the one that has to go over.
[SPEAKER_04]: So Stasi ends up pulling a three.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's the lowest card and she has to go hang out with them and get the T. Yeah, so they all start cheering her on and Christina Kelly's like, I just keep it classy.
[SPEAKER_04]: Think Carrie Bradshaw, which is such a funny thing to reference because Carrie Bradshaw is famously not classy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: And again, as a reminder, Stasi has not spoken a Christian since last season.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Meanwhile, as Stasi is walking over, Tom and Ariana leave to go get them another round of drinks.
[SPEAKER_02]: So when Stasi is sitting at the table, it's just Shina Shay, Kristen James.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stasi walks over Peter into supportive king.
[SPEAKER_02]: And starts to small talk with Shina about the weather and how fun work is and how nice her outfit is.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, they're having this like beautifully shady conversation back and forth with each other, just all these fake niceties and Christina Kelly and Katie are mocking and laughing from a distance.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stasi's then like, so this is kind of an awkward setup.
[SPEAKER_02]: How's this working out for everyone?
[SPEAKER_02]: And Kristen is joking like, yeah, we're all best friends now and Shina then somehow manages to pivot this conversation entirely to being like, yeah, I'm so happy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Obviously like we're getting married this summer like everything's going great and yeah, I'm like so happy for you.
[SPEAKER_02]: And honestly, I think you should just like come back to work at service so we can all hang out all the time, which is obviously Sheena's way of joking with her.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stossie jokes with her back.
[SPEAKER_02]: They do her their classic little joke with cancer, where Stossie's like, I'd rather stab myself.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I actually, this is my favorite conversations.
[SPEAKER_02]: These are my favorite kinds of conversations to witness between Sheena and Stossie.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they're having a deeper off.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they're just being a little
[SPEAKER_02]: and then Kristen is in her confessional saying that she's blown away that Stasi's even there and she has anxiety but the whole thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: And in the booth, Kristen turns to Stasi and is like, you know, I sort of thought that I'd never see you again.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, Stasi's like, yeah, you know, I kind of thought that too.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, and Kristen says, look, I understand this is not the energy that you want or need, but I found out that you're back in LA and I just hope that you're doing really well.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, she like kind of lands this beautiful plain and stocies like she kind of is like thank you Kristen, I appreciate they have this moment of you know kind of understanding and then Kristen hits her with so did you go and see jacks after her surgery?
[SPEAKER_02]: Chris, um, girl, flag on the play, Chris, Kristen, there is one name you're not allowed to say in this conversation.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know how we didn't cover this before we put you out onto the field.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
[SPEAKER_04]: Maybe this is our bad.
[SPEAKER_04]: Maybe this is something that we don't know how we miss this.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know how we miss this, but Kristen, are you a fucking dumbass?
[SPEAKER_02]: Kristen, to remind you, you and Stasi have not spoken since you fucked jacks her ex-boyfriend, twice, twice.
[SPEAKER_02]: And you came both times.
[SPEAKER_02]: So don't talk about him when you see Stasi.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, maybe you don't try to connect with Stasi about Jack's Taylor.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, your mutual buddy, Jack's Taylor.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe just leave him out of this.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, magazine.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm out up.
[SPEAKER_04]: Let's get back to it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Stasi is immediately fucking confused by this because obviously she's she's basically like now what the fuck did she just say to me yeah why the hell yeah what is wrong with her right and
[SPEAKER_02]: Stasi, it like cuts to a confessional of Stasi talking about how absurd this is and then it just kind of cuts back and Stasi's leaving the booth and it's like she's insane.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and then as Stasi's walking away at Chris and it's like
[SPEAKER_02]: Wow, you know that worked out a lot better than I expected.
[SPEAKER_02]: That was awesome.
[SPEAKER_02]: That was so good.
[SPEAKER_03]: I feel like that was a really productive.
[SPEAKER_02]: That was great guys.
[SPEAKER_02]: Cut to a little bit later.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Shina is bringing a bottle of vodka over to the other table.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's playing dirty because she knew that Stasi came over to their table to try to stir shit up.
[SPEAKER_02]: So now she's trying to do it back.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Again, I do love this.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: I do appreciate that for sure.
[SPEAKER_04]: Um, yeah, she brings a bottle of vodka over to Stasi's table.
[SPEAKER_04]: And she also brings Kristen, you write, yeah, Kristen into, come on now.
[SPEAKER_04]: And at this point, also Tom and Ariana have ended up over at Stasi's table.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think because they were like, we don't want to fucking interact with Kristen James.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right, I'm sure.
[SPEAKER_04]: So, Gina and Kristen sit down and Stasi basically starts like, there's like a little bit of back and forth before Stasi just goes like,
[SPEAKER_04]: guys like how are all of you friends?
[SPEAKER_04]: How is this even possible?
[SPEAKER_04]: This isn't saying.
[SPEAKER_04]: And Ariana like very quietly goes like, we're not, yeah, we're not all friends.
[SPEAKER_04]: And Kristen is like, well, you know, like, Tom and I have achieved peace and like goes to like fist bump him.
[SPEAKER_04]: And Tom is like, yeah, we've achieved and like doesn't finish the sentence.
[SPEAKER_04]: He like appears to choke on his words while saying it because again, we've we've made
[SPEAKER_02]: he can't say it he like cannot say the word piece and Ariana instantly whispers in his ear and is like don't lie to her yeah which exactly yes you there has been no peace there's no peace there is not peace and yeah Ariana's just hitting him with like
[SPEAKER_02]: I know what the truth is.
[SPEAKER_02]: I know you can't stand her, so like be serious.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't worry.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't lie.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then James walks over the table, and Kristen's like, maybe we should just go.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stasi just keeps exclaiming how fucking weird it all is.
[SPEAKER_02]: And she and it's like, and it's fine that you don't get it.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like totally fine that we're on different.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't even worry about it.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're on different pages.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like it's totally okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Katie's like, yeah, we just don't understand the logic of you being friends with Kristen.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, um, and she just like, yeah, well, it doesn't matter.
[SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't matter that you don't get it because I get it and we get it and we have matching tattoos and everything is right.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stasi is like, it's weird.
[SPEAKER_02]: And you should just own that you decided to be friends with Kristen because she didn't do anything.
[SPEAKER_02]: to you and you don't really care that she's done things to other people right like if if that's you feel you should just stay it out loud yeah and um she just still not really getting it and is like well if that's the case then like what so Tom shouldn't be friends with the jacks because he's a bad person and stuff he's like well yes right so that's also true in a different way
[SPEAKER_02]: And there's part of me that also wonders why Peter doesn't get any smoke for remaining friends with these guys because he's a man, but it's interesting that like
[SPEAKER_02]: They'll give Tom Sand of all smoke for like re-building a friendship with Jacks, but then somehow Peter just kind of gets away with it because he is critical of them, but he's still friends.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
[SPEAKER_04]: Maybe they just care about Peter less, honestly.
[SPEAKER_04]: Poor guy.
[SPEAKER_04]: We'd love to have you on the pod, come on.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then Tom chimed in to Sheena talking about he and Jackson, he's like, I can do whatever I want and she knew whatever she wanted to know and can tell me what to do.
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, yeah, and I don't like this negative energy, so it's just easier for me to be cool with everyone.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then Katie's like, okay, well, you can't cry about it when it all blows up then.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, because that's where this is going to go.
[SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_02]: And she and his inner confessional like, Stasi thinks she's the leader of a cult and I don't get it.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't get how the rest of these girls are so obsessed with her.
[SPEAKER_02]: Which is a little ironic because she not well, I was saying is also obsessed with Stossie a bit of a hypocrite there But okay, I will say to that and Stossie ends up leaving the party early because she's like actually I'm above this and all of these people are fucking weird.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep I'm not seeing in this episode Can you believe it?
[SPEAKER_02]: What the hell is going on over here?
[SPEAKER_02]: What the hell is going on?
[SPEAKER_04]: Me personally.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm excited to see James back at the certain next step.
[SPEAKER_02]: Come on.
[SPEAKER_04]: Get it back on.
[SPEAKER_04]: Get that crazy guy back on the floor.
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you guys so much for listening and supporting the show.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can shop our merch at emotionallyonline.shop.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can follow the show at Pumpcast Rules on TikTok and Instagram.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can follow me at Maddie Jostbeck.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can follow me at Meguroko.
[SPEAKER_02]: And we will see you guys in next week's episode.
[SPEAKER_02]: Goodbye!