[SPEAKER_00]: Like, what do you think is gonna happen?
[SPEAKER_00]: What are you gonna achieve with that, do we think?
[SPEAKER_00]: Me turning and be like, you think so?
[SPEAKER_00]: You really mean it?
[SPEAKER_00]: Lullolled me?
[SPEAKER_00]: I've just been waiting to get noticed in a crazy city like this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why, that's why I was waiting here in the salmon section, the salmon of my dreams.
[SPEAKER_00]: Swimming upstream, sing with me, a grocery store, sing with me now!
[SPEAKER_01]: What's up you guys and welcome back to Emotionally Online, the weekly summer party for Heart to Hearts and Hot Gossip hosted by yours truly, though one and only Maddie Draws back back in the co-host cuck chair.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know who it is, it's Meg Ruoco.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't mean to boast, but I'm a co-host.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, this is good.
[SPEAKER_01]: Did you go on rhymezone.com?
[SPEAKER_00]: If you can believe it, I think of them.
[SPEAKER_00]: The minute that you start, the minute every single time we sit down, the minute that you start, I panic.
[SPEAKER_00]: I, my thought processes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Panic, oh my god, I didn't think of a rhyme.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Run through the alphabet.
[SPEAKER_00]: Going host host host host host host host host host.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right, right.
[SPEAKER_01]: And how many words are there possible?
[SPEAKER_00]: I actually don't know.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I've already been making up mispronunciations for some of them.
[SPEAKER_00]: So,
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: But both came to me like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So quick.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is what happens.
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, we've said it before.
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll say it again.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is a think tank.
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ultimately, always cooking.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're cooking.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're
[SPEAKER_01]: After watch the podcast, I understand that one.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's just kind of like, you know, each show kind of bleeds into the other show.
[SPEAKER_01]: You do have to watch everything in order to understand the jokes and don't then you do get left behind.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's a sorry.
[SPEAKER_00]: There are children left behind in this podcast world.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, about ours.
[SPEAKER_01]: Completely.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I have an internet obsession of the week that I'd like to bring to the show.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Should we have a jingle for that?
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, uh, uh, obsession of the week.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, period, and you're gonna do it just like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like a little bit.
[SPEAKER_01]: My internet obsession of the week, which I do think it'll go on long past the week.
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you familiar with Joe is hungry?
[SPEAKER_01]: I have no idea who that is.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm fucking obsessed with this guy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: I found him on TikTok, but he uploads, they're like YouTube style videos that he's reposting on TikTok from YouTube, so I switched to YouTube.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's become my favorite high-watch, perfect.
[SPEAKER_01]: I get high and I watch Joe is hungry.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been putting him on my TV because this is how important he is to me.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's this old man who goes through different drive throughs and he puts them through like the Joe is hungry food test.
[SPEAKER_01]: So he orders, he'll go to like,
[SPEAKER_01]: a Wendy's, for example, who goes right through.
[SPEAKER_01]: He has like eight cameras to set up in his car.
[SPEAKER_01]: It is crazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like cash cab, the setup that man has in his car, like what I would give to be in the passenger seat of a Joe's Hungary video, this is going on the dream list.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: He gets in the drive through, he orders like three versions of whatever the item is he's gonna be trying.
[SPEAKER_01]: So let's say it's a chicken sandwich.
[SPEAKER_01]: Then in the drive through he takes a temperature test of each of the items to see how hot they are when they first come out.
[SPEAKER_01]: of how hot they need to be.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then after he's taken the temperature, he does like the initial bite test.
[SPEAKER_01]: Uh-huh.
[SPEAKER_01]: Which he doesn't put it until later in the video because he goes back to his like home studio.
[SPEAKER_01]: And he claps and he just appears.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then he's like, and now it's time for the Joe is hungry.
[SPEAKER_01]: Food review or whatever he says.
[SPEAKER_01]: And he's like spinning the food.
[SPEAKER_01]: He does like a slow motion.
[SPEAKER_01]: little montage of the food that goes on for like a minute before he officially gets into it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like this is an old man with passion.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is amazing.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel such deep protection towards Joe is hungry.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think everyone needs to get into him how many like is he popular?
[SPEAKER_01]: He is definitely popular.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's see.
[SPEAKER_01]: He definitely has a lot on TikTok and I want to say you probably has a lot on YouTube too.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the production value this guy is putting out is bananas.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's see.
[SPEAKER_01]: Joe is hungry.
[SPEAKER_01]: He has 250,000 subscribers.
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_01]: So he's big.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: This guy's freaking awesome dude.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what's so cool?
[SPEAKER_00]: Is like, sometimes older generations will be like, back in our day, nobody had autism.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you just like hear about someone like this.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, Joe is hungry is like, look at his most recent uploads.
[SPEAKER_01]: and it's all just like him with different fast food items.
[SPEAKER_01]: And these are detailed in-depth.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, beautifully shot and edited reviews.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's incredible.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is who I'm getting my fast food reviews from.
[SPEAKER_01]: Good for you, Joe is hungry.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I plug in the week.
[SPEAKER_01]: Joe is hungry.
[SPEAKER_01]: This guy is getting after it, and I'm obsessed with the vibes he's bringing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Good for him, and you know what?
[SPEAKER_00]: He's honestly doing
[SPEAKER_00]: really important work too because I want to know like where the good food is that I can drive through.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, it actually has been bad that I'm getting into Joe's hungry right now because he's made me want Taco Bell so bad, but I'm trying not to eat Taco Bell because of the diarrhea lettuce.
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, they said that the safest data fly was September 12, 2001.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a safe state eat talk about this right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: To eat talk about is right now, okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: So consider Joe was hungry, consider me influenced.
[SPEAKER_00]: Can I just really quickly ask, why don't we allow to eat salads again?
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: My grandma asked me this yesterday and I was like, nanny, just for you to be safe, wait, let two months.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I've got to keep her in bubble wrap.
[SPEAKER_01]: Everyone else can go back to Eden Letters soon or Nani's way later.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, she's basically made a fine China Right exactly one little blank.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I really I don't know what the rule is.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was thinking about this the other I'm like all right, so there's kind of a nationwide ban on Letters any to win anyone gonna let us know when that's up.
[SPEAKER_00]: No
[SPEAKER_00]: Let us know.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're not going to know.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're just going to have to test and find out.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Y'all, like I got a salad the other day with my sandwich, a coffee shop near me, and I was like about to eat it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I was like, oh, Loki, I probably would have.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like I don't know if I had ordered something and it was right in front of me, I would have been like,
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to see.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll say this.
[SPEAKER_00]: I went to Whole Foods the other day at work and got lunch, brought it back, ate it, immediately had diarrhea.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, it's the fucking piece lettuce.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then pretty quickly, all my friends were like, no, that's not how this thing works.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it, they say it takes like a week or something.
[SPEAKER_00]: It takes like a long time to leave your system.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it was just regular diarrhea for me then.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: So well, this is, you and I were talking about this last week or maybe the week before we were like,
[SPEAKER_01]: If the diarrhea lettuce gets me, I can't say I don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is a thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if this is going to be true or not.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't say I'd be able to clock whether it was the lettuce or whether if it was just my genetics.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's no way for me to know that, that's not my business.
[SPEAKER_01]: So whatever data they've got going on statistics of who's eaten the poop lettuce or who hasn't trust that I will never be included in those statistics.
[SPEAKER_00]: And someone just let us know when we can eat salad again.
[SPEAKER_01]: Someone just give us a, give us a hauler.
[SPEAKER_01]: The President won't.
[SPEAKER_00]: So no, right.
[SPEAKER_01]: So just someone else needs to let us know the CDC won't.
[SPEAKER_00]: So who's going to, who's going to let us know when the lettuce is going to, you know, I'm going to fucking learn from like fucking pop crave for some shit.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it goes gonna tell me when I can eat lettuce again.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's gonna be like, lettuce stuns on the E red carpet.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can eat it again.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm gonna be like, all right, I guess we're gonna eat lettuce again.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, my fucking news from PopCrave.
[SPEAKER_01]: Fuck, exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, anyway, we actually,
[SPEAKER_01]: I would like to say, this is the first episode we've ever recorded with a live studio audience.
[SPEAKER_01]: My friend Violet is in the corner here all the way from Australia.
[SPEAKER_01]: Second, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I know you guys are all very confused on the setup of this room.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have my bed in the middle and then we have Meg over here in one corner in
[SPEAKER_01]: where Violet is now sitting in cuck chair number two.
[SPEAKER_01]: We have beautiful things happening in this small ass violent gorgeous thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: You guys wouldn't believe the type of shit that we're knowing to get these shots.
[SPEAKER_01]: You would have exactly.
[SPEAKER_00]: Christopher Nolan wishes.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, this is inspired by Joe is hungry, really.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is what he's doing in a car.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're doing in a bedroom.
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_00]: So Joe is hungry, it's all for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think connected to Joe is hungry, because I think part of why I've been obsessed with him so much is because he brings back this like classic old YouTube Yeah, and I've been big into watching good mythical morning right now.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm having a good mythical morning face
[SPEAKER_00]: This is a thing that I've like seen so much online that I have not consumed a singular second of and like still don't know what it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: When people are like red link, I'm like totally girl and then I have nothing else.
[SPEAKER_00]: I like had consumed a little bit of their content here and there and I most of my knowledge of them was through smash.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, and this is the first time that I'm really having a true good mythical morning phase myself Okay, and so I've been going back.
[SPEAKER_01]: I watch a lot of their blind taste test videos because those are fun to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, so it's not They don't talk about like fantasy stuff.
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm good good mythical morning.
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, they do because of myth
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why they have the name to be honest with you.
[SPEAKER_01]: I haven't gotten that deep in the lore to be honest Yeah, they post like a billion videos So it's quite possible that there could be some ties there that I'm just unaware you're experiencing like what some people who listen to our podcast experience Or they're like wait, so what's booth and you're like hold on you're too far gone You just let me get there Just keep on and you'll learn keep watching and you'll get you'll get there eventually.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, okay, but I feel like it's been interesting to watch myself
[SPEAKER_01]: just like witnessing my own YouTube habits over the last like year or two and how I really have started going back to consuming all like old YouTubers.
[SPEAKER_01]: So now the people I'm watching the most Smosh obviously.
[SPEAKER_01]: Smosh is top of my list.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's honestly being a Smosh fan is like a full-time job with the amount of content that they put out.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, but I kind of, I'm having a real, um, rebirth when it comes to, like, just stupid silly content online.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that we forgot what it was like to giggle for a while there.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like doing the pumpcast with you, I've been laughing so much.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's all connected.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Cause I'm like, I've been having so much fun doing this with you when we've been laughing so much and I'm like, oh,
[SPEAKER_01]: I need more, more laughing, more degling, more stupid shit in my orbit.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love a deep heart to heart chat as much as the next bitch.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I also love dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, blind food taste tests.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't know if I can, the chameleon videos.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: That game.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, there's something really nostalgic about it in a way that, yeah, it feels like
[SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't exist as much on the internet anymore.
[SPEAKER_00]: My co-worker and I were actually talking about this today We're like it can feel so frustrating when when one when you're consuming content also when you're making content to be like Well, what does the algorithm want and like well the click to share ratio and the and the engagement rate and the skip through right and it's like
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, there's there's something that has just become very numerical about it and so to be able to Um, and I think that also comes through then in a lot of the content that is made and get put out online and so To watch stuff that has this like almost like 20 tens.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: nostalgia factor, which feels crazy to say, because it's like, it feels like that wasn't that long ago, but it really was like BuzzFeed's heyday was a long time ago.
[SPEAKER_00]: There is something that feels like nostalgic and sweet about it, you know, totally, where it's like guys try out a women's underwear.
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow, let's get it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember watching those rounds younger me like that's awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, love it completely.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I feel like I, so much of what I watch is like People playing games with each other.
[SPEAKER_01]: Smasch games is definitely what I watched the most of all is mosh channels.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I love Watching people play in be silly.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I love Watching people stream.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I love video games board games even like just random internet shit Like when people will play those games where they try to say the same word at the same time Yeah camera like even that is fun to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah
[SPEAKER_01]: I, yeah, I miss that kind of content.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have flashbacks to forcing one of my friends.
[SPEAKER_01]: We went to the grocery store and we bought a bunch of random canned items and then we took the labels off of them and just drew numbers on them and drew them out of the hat and then we had to open up and eat whatever wasn't side of it and we bought gross things and like, the peaches, payers and rents.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it was like the dumbest video ever just us in my basement, eating like peaches and sourcrout.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I, yeah, I just feel drawn to content that is like the only purpose is to make you laugh.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think that you and I exist on like two sides of the same coin because that's how I feel about dropout.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I consume so much dropout content and I'll go back and rewatch a lot
[SPEAKER_00]: so silly goofy every single time and it feels so cozy like there's something very cozy about it we're like I also just know at this point and I feel like it's similar with Smosh too where it's like you have these kind of like recurring cast of people that rotate in and out so it's like any time I'm like that's my friend Lou Wilson
[SPEAKER_00]: That's my close personal friend Lou Wilson cracking a joke on mine and it's like I think I also just um I love like a group of people who are making like really really like seriously dedicated to making something silly mm
[SPEAKER_00]: If that makes sense, like, really, really they're putting in so much work, so that can be fun and goofy and irreverent and crazy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I really love that and appreciate that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, just feels very comforting.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know I could go on about Smosh forever because I feel like they've just like, they've nailed a perfect balance of content that is deep and intellectual.
[SPEAKER_01]: And like, well, some people might not say that, but I would.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think like the, well, it's the same way I feel about reality TV.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, like the other people would look at reality TV and be like, oh, like, what's so deep and intellectual about all of that?
[SPEAKER_01]: But people who watch reality TV will be like,
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, no, this is like a psychological examination every time I watch this show, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm having deep intellectual thoughts that I'm watching this show.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's also why I feel about like a Smosh Reid's Reddit stories, and like digging up these like insane stories on Reddit and then having a conversation about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I think they do that so well and they have that sort of like debris for flexion and they also do like the stupid so well.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like so inspired by Smosh.
[SPEAKER_01]: Smosh, ain't an anthony, got to be to ya.
[SPEAKER_01]: Who knew that in the year 2026, I'd be like, one of my biggest inspirations, Smosh.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, this is the thing today.
[SPEAKER_00]: They've been around for so long.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's like, yeah, I mean, that's kind of how I feel, that's how I feel about dropout, where I'm like, I guess the people who all worked at college humor back in like 2013, I'm like obsessed with them, want to like mirror my career after.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like,
[SPEAKER_00]: Somehow you guys have cracked the code and I'm in.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm in on whatever it is you're selling.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's beautiful.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it really is.
[SPEAKER_00]: You mentioned grocery stores earlier.
[SPEAKER_00]: It reminded me of an experience I had at the grocery store today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh no.
[SPEAKER_00]: Which was a very different experience than picking up cans with your friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: I did not buy mystery cans.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was there to buy smoked salmon for my bagel.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, delicious.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I got cat called in the grocery store.
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh-huh.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, why?
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you say?
[SPEAKER_00]: He said, he said, damn girl didn't turn around.
[SPEAKER_00]: He said, you got a body on you, girl.
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm.
[SPEAKER_00]: Didn't turn around, kept walking.
[SPEAKER_00]: In the fish aisle?
[SPEAKER_00]: In the fucking fish aisle, dude.
[SPEAKER_00]: Where my smoke salmon was.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's insane.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just kind of like never cat call me, but don't cat call me in a grocery store.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's really weird to cat call someone when there's like, they're not like walking away from you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, I turned around and now I'm just here.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, well, we're all just stay.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have to grocery shop right now.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: So now we're all just here.
[SPEAKER_01]: So now we're just here and you've said that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now I'm looking at eggs.
[SPEAKER_01]: So now I feel more uncomfortable than I would if I had a clear escape path on.
[SPEAKER_01]: So now what?
[SPEAKER_01]: Now we all just have to be here.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like getting cat called at a dentist office.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's really weird.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was so strange and I'm also just like, why can't men just keep some things to themselves?
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, like keep a secret challenge.
[SPEAKER_00]: Keep a secret challenge.
[SPEAKER_00]: Fine.
[SPEAKER_00]: You see someone.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you know how many people that I see that I think are hot on a day-to-day basis?
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't say anything to make it weird.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was just like decorum.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: And here's the thing too.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I don't think people know this if I don't do people would know this just from like looking at me online But I'm six feet tall.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm like a tall big person and the thing is is that one men Cat call me or like harass me in any way the minute that I turn to them.
[SPEAKER_00]: They like physically Coward because they see that I can like overpower them pretty easily and so that's that is I just like I literally just like turned and he was like
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, what do you think is gonna happen?
[SPEAKER_00]: What are you gonna achieve with that, do we think?
[SPEAKER_00]: Me turning and be like, you think so?
[SPEAKER_00]: You really mean it?
[SPEAKER_00]: Little old me?
[SPEAKER_00]: I've just been waiting to get noticed in a crazy city like this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why?
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I was waiting here in the salmon section.
[SPEAKER_00]: The salmon of my dreams.
[SPEAKER_00]: Swimming upstream, sing with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: A grocery store, sing with me now!
[UNKNOWN]: Ha ha!
[SPEAKER_01]: The idea of this man being like, and now we're in the spring music house together In the grocery, I owe it to you and it's me and it's also against the world And she's got a fat ass and I'm gonna get in her apartment tonight Yeah, yeah, yeah, pay for my groceries, sir
[SPEAKER_00]: That's crazy.
[SPEAKER_00]: So maybe he thought that's what was gonna happen.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was disappointed when that didn't happen But it was honestly nuts and it reminds me why I tend to wear flow of your pants Yeah, which sucks, but well death that man.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's what I mean.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't even really get a good look at him.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, here's what I will say is that like I'm hunting him.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's my like that's my like neighborhood store at this point all the men who work there like know me and call me sweetheart and are like all very nice to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I do think they would like physically kill someone if they thought I was being physically harmed in a in the grocery store.
[SPEAKER_00]: We all have a rapport, come on.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the guy who owns it who's always on a phone call with somebody in his mad.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's another guy who's stalking something and he has thousands of boxes and then just kind of other guys walking around.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, these are my boys.
[SPEAKER_00]: Totally, just me and the boys.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're trying to catch all me when I'm rolling with my crew.
[SPEAKER_01]: Come on, nine dudes deep.
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't want to know what's about to happen.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm in my mind palace going there telepathically.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm in the walls.
[SPEAKER_00]: I got nine dudes here, Maddie's in the walls.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're trying to cat calm you and Maddie's in the walls?
[SPEAKER_00]: Come on, dude, I'm gonna get you out.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm in the walls right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just, it's just like, you're fist from like behind, where they will restock the milk so there's like a fridge behind and it's just your fist just going, bursting through and it's your head.
[SPEAKER_01]: You crawl out of the, you crawl out of the dairy fridge area.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, literally he thinks he's getting American cheese and said he gets a knuckle sandwich.
[SPEAKER_00]: You should have been in the Daly aisle, Mr. because you obviously want a knuckle sandwich.
[SPEAKER_00]: Fuck that's what I should have said to him.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, write it down for next time.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I'm writing it down.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm writing it down.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I always used to think, I don't know why this made me think of this, but I remember when I was younger
[SPEAKER_01]: I always used to think inside my head like if somebody ever tried to kid that me what would I do.
[SPEAKER_01]: And in my head I was like I'm just going to be the most annoying mother fucker.
[SPEAKER_01]: They've ever abducted.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I also used to repeat that lady Gaga quote inside my head.
[SPEAKER_01]: Whenever I was scared, whoa, I honestly forgot I used to do this, but whatever my parents would leave me alone at home And it'd be like in the house by myself and there's that lady Gaga quote that it's like they can't scare me if I scared them first Oh, and I would be in my head like they can't scare me if I scared them first I'm the scariest bitch in this house.
[SPEAKER_01]: They should be scared of me the intruder in the basement.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's gonna kill me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah They should be very scared that I'm the one in this house
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I'd be my head like what could I do to scare a potential kidnapper that's in this house to get me totally and I think most of the time I would just go back to like Donnie from the wild thornberries You imagine I'm like no, I'm there's something wrong with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm crazy Like what's going on like I need to go to the hospital
[SPEAKER_00]: Somebody take me to the hospital now.
[SPEAKER_01]: You just got to start saying words and sentences that they've never heard said back to back before.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I've done like the opposite thing where like if I'm ever in situations like that I go like completely Like monotone with it and like I'm not being affected by it at all.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like there was one time where my friends and I and college were going to like this big haunted house and like this was in Wisconsin.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it was like
[SPEAKER_00]: It was like on farmland, like there were like multiple houses and he would like walk through like a corn maze in the dark to like go to the next house and Famously hate horror.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was not excited to go.
[SPEAKER_00]: I like didn't want to go the only reason we were going is because my friend's dad was playing like a ghoul in one of the houses
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, of course.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we had to go support my friends dad.
[SPEAKER_01]: We've got to go support Fred.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, he's a goal and he's a really big for his acting career.
[SPEAKER_00]: Really excited about being the goal.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we like go to this place and I'm of course really scared and all of the performers there are like they're trying to scare you.
[SPEAKER_00]: But something happened to me when I entered the haunted house where like people would like come up to me and scare me and I was like
[SPEAKER_00]: You've seen Avatar the last airbender to your.
[SPEAKER_00]: In Avatar the last airbender he faces this like spirit monster where if you change your facial expression he's the spirit monster steals your face and then gets to wear it for eternity.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like aing in that scene where like my facial expression just like didn't change.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just completely neutral the entire time.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like no way.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like cracking jokes with some of the monsters like being like you're so silly.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's so great.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, my friend ended up actually having a panic attack.
[SPEAKER_00]: We did have to leave early.
[SPEAKER_00]: Fred was so good, Fred was really good, Fred was really really good, but yeah, I like I don't know what it is and I think I think it also again does have to do with like my stature, but like the minute that I like lower my voice and make it more masculine for whatever reason, men are very thrown off by that, yeah, so just a few thoughts, food for thought, there it is, yeah, there it is, come on, well
[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm, for your transition to our next subject.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I was talking about with another friend of mine the other day on kind of the topic of getting back to old YouTube and getting back to just like what creatively inspires you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was talking about with my friend the other day, the how awesome it's been to like creatively partner with women in my life, specifically in the last like year.
[SPEAKER_00]: and that it feels really different.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think then how people specifically like men have described creative partnerships to me completely.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's just been very joyful.
[SPEAKER_00]: I like because I am the same one.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like doing the pump cast and this podcast with you like has been so fulfilling in so many ways and I'm also working with my friend Carly on producing a television show that we want to.
[SPEAKER_00]: get like off the ground in the fall and winter and working with both of you guys has been nothing short of just like utterly joyful and emotionally fulfilling and compassionate and wonderful from like every angle.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think there's also something really particular about when you work with really good people, like they'll lift up your individual goals as well as like your dual goals, you know, as like creative partners.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that you and I do that really well.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember in grad school a professor of mine who I really respect and care about a lot, but he told me like never get into like a writer partnership or like a business partnership with anyone.
[SPEAKER_01]: Interesting advice.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was like, don't do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, okay, like, I All right, because like, I don't know.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've respected his opinion totally.
[SPEAKER_00]: He said that and I was like, okay, and Here's what I will say is like, I have had a bad or like unfortunate creative partnerships to happen and like completely floppin fail
[SPEAKER_00]: But I do think that there is something to be said for women in creative spaces who are like discerning and also like, um,
[SPEAKER_00]: secure in themselves and their creativity that when we come together, I just think it's a really beautiful thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you know, I completely agree.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think it feels similar to me, similarly to me that the, uh, what am I trying to say here?
[SPEAKER_00]: The like, the feeling that I have when watching old YouTube, I have the same feeling like working with you
[SPEAKER_01]: It is interesting.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've honestly been given similar advice by men in the past and I do feel like I was just talking to Ashley about this probably like a week or two ago.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but I was talking to her about I feel like I've ignored so much of the like business advice that men have given me over the last like two years.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I've been the most happy and like most creatively fulfilled.
[SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm
[SPEAKER_01]: that I've ever been.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And to me, it's because I think a lot of the advice I've been given in the past values is something different than what I do.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that a lot of the people with the loudest voices to give you the feedback and advice and criticism on how to do things, how to create, how to partner with people, how to format your shit.
[SPEAKER_01]: I find that a lot of them are doing it from a perspective of like profit over people, like they become like two Gary V. Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, this is the thing because I was like, that's not how I create.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not how I feel in my body when I create.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not how I collaborate with other people.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like,
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it feels more drenched in ego than in like true creative partnership.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, or like I don't know.
[SPEAKER_00]: Does that make sense?
[SPEAKER_00]: It makes complete sense.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I was yeah, because I was thinking about this a lot where I was like, what?
[SPEAKER_00]: what is like the differ what's like the differentiating factor between like my successful partnerships and like partnerships that I have that have not been successful and and or like the advice that I receive from men in the industry and even just like men generally like I think you know growing up it's like my dad was the one with kind of the like
[SPEAKER_00]: The quote unquote career, even though my mom did have like a very rich, like time in her career as like a children's librarian.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was the one that we would go to for like business advice and stuff like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was kind of thinking about it, and I think you're dead on that so much of what I think has made my like recent partnership successful, me and you and me and my other creative partner working on this show.
[SPEAKER_00]: is that there is no ego, and that it doesn't feel so patriarchal in that one.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I think that's so much of business is steeped in patriarchy, which ego is also like a symptom of.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that that and capitalism too, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: That like this is this is a completely patriarchal system.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think, like, you and I and you and my other creative partner are like working completely outside of that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And similarly, like, I think, you know, the way that you and I talk about business or the way that you and I talk about are creative endeavors is only really ever coming from a place of, like, supporting one another and like, how can we best help each other and like help us as, like,
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's the same thing with my other creative partner where you know we're talking about shooting this pilot that like basically will be kind of a web series and something that we've been talking about is like making our sets like as accessible as possible to people.
[SPEAKER_00]: and talking about, you know, how can we make shoot days comfortable for people?
[SPEAKER_00]: How can we make them like make these environments empathetic and understanding and like setting intention every morning before we shoot something, you know, ensuring that we're able to
[SPEAKER_00]: And that has felt completely different to any other sort of like film set that I've ever been on.
[SPEAKER_00]: Where it's like, you just go and you grind for 14 hours and then you go home and then you come back and then you do it again.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we were talking about it yesterday and kind of talking about, you know, the thing that we're doing now is yes, smaller scale, but like setting these standards now.
[SPEAKER_00]: is really important with the hopes that like one day this will be on a larger scale.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think it has just been a really interesting thing to
[SPEAKER_00]: learned that like making stuff, um, you can make it without burning yourself out.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: I, I don't think I ever knew that that was possible.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that that, that is a completely, a, um, patriarchal belief.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's so interesting.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was I just talked about something very similar to this on the post show a couple of weeks ago because ego has been like a big reflection point for me and I was talking about
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, it kind of got brought up to me in a roundabout way, but I saw it, you know, you know, you know, people say like Um, sometimes like the bad things that happen in your life need to happen because they open up doors for something else.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't really, I don't like that framing of things.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it came across my desk in connection to grief.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, oh, I really disagree with that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't believe that there's any like way to reason with why we lose people, or like why we, as people, like have to experience grief in our lifetime, I disagree that it's like that there's some,
[SPEAKER_01]: In order to become X, Y, Z, or to gain X, Y, Z, like I don't believe in that at all, but when I look at like the last year of my life since losing mango, there has been a lot in my life that's changed in the last year, but I'll tell you what it was, and it was a reflection on ego that I feel was triggered by my interaction with grief.
[SPEAKER_01]: as well as so many other things.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I feel like I look back at the last year and like a lot of that change is triggered starting by the death of mango.
[SPEAKER_01]: But it came about because of what grief forced me to confront.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like in grieving publicly and having to process and yeah, just like,
[SPEAKER_01]: share a part of my life that was crumbling and impacting the way I showed up in my job, being that like I have to show up on camera and talk and be myself.
[SPEAKER_01]: And suddenly that was really difficult because I was experiencing grief.
[SPEAKER_01]: And there's a reckoning with your ego there in like having to show up as like a very vulnerable version of yourself.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, and then I was talking about how there have been a couple other things in this has been so long since I've talked about this on the show, but my no-contact crush, who I'm now friends with, and revisiting what friendship could look like.
[SPEAKER_01]: after going no contact for a period of time, that was also a reckoning with my ego of having to accept and embrace what this new image and new chapter was going to look like in an individual way.
[SPEAKER_01]: But there's like all these different experiences stacked on top of each other that I do feel have like allowed me to reflect on my own ego and like what role it plays in my relationships and I do feel like us collaborating has been another example of like having to reflect on ego as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: So much of collaboration is learning to like check your ego at the door.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah
[SPEAKER_01]: to be able to fully show up and collaborate in a way that is not to sound like so fucking obnoxious.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like hearing myself and I'm like, this is obnoxious what I'm about to say.
[SPEAKER_01]: But it does feel like having to check your ego at the door so that you can create something that is removed from yourself.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like a totally pure thing that you're creating versus you're
[SPEAKER_01]: just coming together and making something for the joy of it and like both bringing what you bring to the table and being like, and here's what we created together.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And like I feel like I mean so much of what I've done on the internet before this has been alone.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I did feel such like a
[SPEAKER_01]: a protectiveness over it because it's like I've done this for so many years, and this is like my baby.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the thing that's meant the most to me, and I think learning to like loosen that grasp and bringing you in and collaborating with you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like it's been nothing but good things.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I look back at the last year of my life, and I think that so much of what we'll define this chapter is,
[SPEAKER_01]: like reckoning with ego and how like beautiful and like connective and creative it is when you learn to shed more of it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Obviously we always all have an ego there's no getting rid of it but there are like things that you will go through that will allow you to shed layers of it that just lead to deeper connection with people and I do feel like the last year has been like
[SPEAKER_01]: Wemi after Wemi of positions that I have been forced to shed a layer of my ego in ways that are new to me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and it's been a beautiful thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I agree.
[SPEAKER_00]: I completely agree.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think like so much of...
[SPEAKER_00]: My experience with like creativity and creative pursuits in my adult life has also felt like that, like felt in many ways, ego-driven, you know, even when I was in grad school, like yes, we were all working together and collaborating and making things.
[SPEAKER_00]: and so much of that was people being like, I'm gonna be the next David Lennon, totally.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's like, there's a little bit of competitiveness.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, to it, exactly.
[SPEAKER_00]: Which is natural.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's totally natural.
[SPEAKER_01]: But to think that there is something that's not that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, it's not always like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's been really interesting because it isn't necessarily something I intentionally sought out to work with people that
[SPEAKER_00]: That is their intention that they check the ego at the door when they like step on to set But it's something that kind of similarly to you for the past year or so I've been like oh this is actually something that's like foundational to what I believe Yeah, makes good work and creates good relationships.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like I think that it is genuinely so important for people to
[SPEAKER_00]: like be able to poke and laugh at themselves and and show up earnestly also, you know.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's been so interesting working with Carly as well, my creative partner for this pilot show because
[SPEAKER_00]: She has been so great in leading the charge of like I want to ensure that this is a different type of set than how film sets can be.
[SPEAKER_00]: And she comes from a stand-up comedy background.
[SPEAKER_00]: Which I find really interesting that you both, you and Carly have spent so much time working alone.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And likewise, because I've spent so much time just writing, which is solidary.
[SPEAKER_00]: I find it really interesting that like the three of us had all kind of like found one another and I think it's a it really mean something to me and Carly has had this really interesting experience that I want to speak too much to because it's her story ultimately, but like
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, she was doing stand-up comedy in Miami and it was for those who don't know the stand-up comedy scenes in general can feel very intense and talk about ego-driven.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And she was exposed to that really young, like at, you know, in like 20-21 years old.
[SPEAKER_00]: And to see her kind of reject that and be like, no, I'm actually going to find success outside of this environment has been really inspiring to see and I think it's also something that a lot of creative people like fail to understand that
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just kind of important, and this is kind of getting away from the original point a little bit, but I see a lot of creative people and artists and comedians and things like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: really just want to like climb the social ladder and and be nice purely for the sake of gaining something and it burns out so fast.
[SPEAKER_00]: Totally.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so crazy to me to see people act that way, especially when I'm like, you guys don't really have the like the resume to be talking like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they'll just like be, they just completely discard people when they find someone else that they think will be more beneficial to them.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, you guys are not doing this right now.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's the difference between people who are like, you, you believe in like art for the sake of art versus people who want fame.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, because these are two different things.
[SPEAKER_00]: Completely, completely.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's honestly shocking to me how many people are in that ladder group, how many people want just like fame and notoriety and for people to name them and just be like oh they're so funny you know and I'm like you should want more for yourself totally you should want more for yourself in this life because this is also like so fleeting
[SPEAKER_00]: And don't you want to look back and be like proud of the things that you've made and also of like the connections that you've made.
[SPEAKER_00]: I find it so shocking that like there are people that I know in kind of like the comedy industry who have like already created a reputation for themselves of being insufferable.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they are not famous.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Unfortunately, you're just an asshole.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're just a dude.
[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing to show for.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you're just somebody who has like, you know, 200,000 followers on Instagram or whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: And like, everybody, nobody to actually fucks with your vibe totally.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, whoa, you're doing that already?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And also like grand scheme of things not to say it's nothing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, obviously like it's something Yeah, but in the grand scheme of things 200Ks a drop in the bucket babe Well, this is my thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not well-known.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is my thing I work at a media company every day.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm pitched people where I I'm like I've never heard of this person ever in my life I go online.
[SPEAKER_01]: They've four million Instagram followers The amount of people that have a million subscribers that I never heard of right.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't, there's no number where it becomes acceptable for you to be an asshole.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, especially when you see people behaving like this and they have a 200,000 followers.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, okay, come on.
[SPEAKER_00]: Somebody got a K at the end of the number and they got a little bit of too freaking out.
[SPEAKER_01]: Big for their fucking party.
[SPEAKER_00]: They got a little greedy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's just, yeah, it's like, for me, I'm like, you guys are losing the plot here a bit.
[SPEAKER_00]: Seeing that dichotomy has been so apparent, especially in the past year where I'm like, wow, like working with you and like
[SPEAKER_00]: making the pump cast, which we've talked about it before, but it's like, you and I made that thinking that like fucking nobody would like this for us.
[SPEAKER_01]: We literally like, we're like, hey, I don't care that you don't care, but we're gonna make this.
[SPEAKER_01]: We had a full shoot day at a bar.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I realized?
[SPEAKER_01]: It was a crew completely.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were like spending money that we didn't think that we'd make back.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you're like we put in thousands of dollars to that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I showed my parents this photo like like you know frames from the photo shoot and they were like you guys rented out a bar for this
[SPEAKER_00]: And that was in like December.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, yeah, I did out of bar, had a full crew.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_00]: Had a crew hired someone to make music for this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was a whole production.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was a production.
[SPEAKER_01]: Honestly.
[SPEAKER_00]: And us being like more fun when you take things serious.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: So way more fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: Multiple takes of us holding trays and blowing flower petals into the camera.
[SPEAKER_00]: picking up every pedal off the ground to do it again and just like the idea that like we've I don't know that we've been that committed from the jump.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and that everyone that I've worked with and have had the pleasure of working with over the past year or two has been that committed to stuff being like yes, I believe in this, I believe in you and it's been the same thing coming from me to them and
[SPEAKER_00]: I just find that to be joyful.
[SPEAKER_00]: No matter the kind of like reception that it has, I agree.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just think that it's like, why not?
[SPEAKER_00]: Why not make the process joyful?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because that's ultimately also, I think so much of what art is, is the process of making it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think some of the people just get too analytical and capitalist with it all totally.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, I just don't think that that's ever how, like, that's not the heart beat of creative industries.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't approach it with that kind of mind.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you can't, but then you're Gary Vee and like, who gives a fuck about that guy?
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, it's like you can and people do and guess what?
[SPEAKER_01]: These people will walk into a room and like list off a bunch of bullshit ideas and then leave and then you're like, get a fucking load of the guy, yeah, you know, and also let me just say like I feel like the creative women that I know that do take more of a like art first creative first approach to business.
[SPEAKER_00]: They are better business people completely.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I completely agree.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like because I think a lot of people would hear this and be like, oh, okay, like art for his creative first But then you're no good at business.
[SPEAKER_00]: You right no no wrong no wrong actually I actually at this point in my life exclusively go to women for business.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah I really do I don't ask oh we're having a different experience.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I don't know who you're talking to because I'm talking to some of the smartest people I've ever met.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is not, yeah, this is not how I see the world.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, and it just I think this year and I think so much of like my entire career has just been
[SPEAKER_00]: pursuing what feels right and good in my body.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and like pursuing the fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that has only benefited me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Following the joy does beautiful things.
[SPEAKER_00]: It really does.
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you see me posted up on YouTube with a bunch of unlabeled tin cans, you know exactly what happened.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm blindfolded
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, you know what?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd eat the whole fucking can because I love our crowd.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, wow.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's crazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sour crowd supremacy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sour crowd was one of the bad options.
[SPEAKER_01]: Fuck.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love Sour.
[SPEAKER_01]: I had to eat the sour crowd and I like gagged it up.
[SPEAKER_00]: I expressly bought a sour crowd hot dog from a hot dog cart the other day.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love Sour crowd.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I'm not a fan of Sour.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the difference between East Coast and Midwest because I grew up in Polish country, baby.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Sour crowd was everywhere.
[SPEAKER_00]: Interesting.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sour crowd on a brought with mustard.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, no, I'll pass.
[SPEAKER_00]: God, that's awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's such a good meal.
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, let's get into these audience submissions.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's do it.
[SPEAKER_01]: As always, you can leave your confessions, requests for advice, topics, things you're seeing floating around the internet that you want to bring to our attention.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can pop them on over in the submission box, which is linked in the description of every single one of these episodes.
[SPEAKER_00]: these tell us everything.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to know everything about you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Hello, beautiful and credible Maddie and also beautiful and credible Meg.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's go, Meg mentioned.
[SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to ask how you feel about the pressure and decision of motherhood.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have a large friend group who have known for around 10 years, about half of the friends are either moms or pregnant now.
[SPEAKER_01]: We range from 30 to 34 years old.
[SPEAKER_01]: I am in the subset of engaged will be married and have not decided on kids, but leaning now.
[SPEAKER_01]: None of my friends who are moms are like the weirdos who pressure other women to want kids, thank God.
[SPEAKER_01]: But as the divide grows between two very different life paths showcased in our friend group, I can't help but feel lost.
[SPEAKER_01]: I see this special bond forming between the women with kids and wonder if I'm missing out and part of me does think pregnancy and childbirth are so sacred and motherhood is an ancient bond only women truly understand.
[SPEAKER_01]: I also see the world, its darkness, humanity's peril with climate and wealth inequality, that point to an uncertain future for any child I would have.
[SPEAKER_01]: I also have PMOS, which adds an entirely different challenge.
[SPEAKER_01]: How do y'all think and feel about becoming mothers or not?
[SPEAKER_01]: What inspires you to be a mother or not?
[SPEAKER_01]: You're a bit younger than me and my friends, but I've really come to value your opinions and thoughts on important topics.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's very kind.
[SPEAKER_00]: So kind.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well,
[SPEAKER_00]: It's interesting because in my mind, I'm like, why the hell is someone asking me about mothers?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, like I'm so I feel so removed from that phase of my life, but it's not a wrong question to ask.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we are the age that people start having children or have already had children.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, I know you've spoken a lot about this on both your YouTube channel and on the podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, I, I really respect people's decisions to not have kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, I think that,
[SPEAKER_00]: As this person mentioned, it feels a lot more treacherous to bring a kid into the world, not to say that you shouldn't, but I think there's a lot more to think about.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, there's a lot more to think about than I think even our parents were thinking about.
[SPEAKER_00]: that said, I have, I've thought about kids a lot.
[SPEAKER_00]: I really love kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: I really, I have enough you who I absolutely adore.
[SPEAKER_00]: I really loved being a kid, and I love talking to kids because I think that they are
[SPEAKER_00]: So, um, smart and observant and a lot of the times people don't give kids the credit that they deserve, um, so I really enjoy talking them and their funny is hell dude.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I don't know if you've ever seen a middle school play, but it's one of the best things you could ever see in your life.
[SPEAKER_00]: it's awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: That said, I am currently 29 years old.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm single.
[SPEAKER_00]: There is nothing on the horizon right now that would indicate that I am having children anytime soon with a partner.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I thought about that a lot of what that would mean if I were to
[SPEAKER_00]: not not getting engaged with somebody not get married to somebody not have a life partner.
[SPEAKER_00]: would that mean that I would still pursue having kids?
[SPEAKER_00]: And the truth is is that I think so many things would have to change in my life for me to feel comfortable bringing kid into the world safely and being able to like provide for them and care for them that it's something that I don't even necessarily like put too much thought to right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have kind of landed in the space of, I would love to have kids, I would love to be a mom some day.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't foresee myself being the type of person who like pops five kids out and like that's my whole stick.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I would like to be a mom.
[SPEAKER_00]: That said, I am prioritizing living my life to its fullest, whatever that may mean.
[SPEAKER_00]: So for me, I'm like, okay, if I'm 38, I'm still single, I'm still not, you know, there isn't really like someone who I want to have kids with or whatever,
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe, maybe when I'm 38, I'll like freeze my eggs or something.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, I have friends who have done that, but I don't know if I would have kids for the sake of just having the experience of having kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that that is,
[SPEAKER_00]: honestly selfish.
[SPEAKER_00]: And not to say that this person is selfish if they have choose to have kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: But like for me, my life is mine.
[SPEAKER_00]: I ultimately want to experience it to the fullest for me, whatever that means, that might mean kids someday and it might not.
[SPEAKER_00]: I could see myself feeling just as fulfilled like traveling the world and learning about people and things in that way as I do having a kid.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that a lot of people have done that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So,
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, ultimately yes, like I would like to have a kid some day, I'm not going to do anything in my life to try to force it in that direction.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: If that makes sense.
[SPEAKER_00]: Totally.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, yeah, I think it would be awesome to have like a little team and a little, like,
[SPEAKER_00]: come in of people who we all love and sit down have dinner and I take a kid trick or treating and whatever and I make them put on their winter coat and cover up their costume which they hate you know like I love that and I would I would love to experience that
[SPEAKER_00]: And also, like, having money and not kids is, like, cool, yeah, totally.
[SPEAKER_00]: Also, that is awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: I also think to because she mentioned, um,
[SPEAKER_00]: She mentioned that a lot of her friends are having kids right now and that they're kind of entering the phase of that phase of life.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not an insignificant thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I think that that is something that goes really under-discussed in friend groups in like their 30s and 40s is that sometimes it's really just about feeling like left behind.
[SPEAKER_00]: and your friends are just like all of a sudden they're going to like PTA meetings and stuff like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: What I will say is that yes, that phase is long and also it's not forever.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, and all of a sudden it's 10 years from now or 15 years from now or 20 years from now and maybe like one of your friends is getting a divorce or their kids go off to college or whatever and all of a sudden,
[SPEAKER_00]: they are kind of back in your rhythm and back in like the the life that you have chosen for yourself.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I but I but I understand that feeling and that kind of grief of like leaving the phase of your life where everyone's an adult but no one has kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's like
[SPEAKER_00]: it is something to grieve.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: That time passing and feeling that things are kind of moving on.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so I don't necessarily, I don't think there is like one right or wrong answer, but I think if the feeling or the desire to come from, or the desire to have a kid comes from, again, not wanting to be, like removed from like your social life, I don't know if that's like a good enough reason.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would, I would maybe advise to,
[SPEAKER_00]: just get to know the kids that they're having, you know, like learn to love their babies, and that sort of thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you do want to experience motherhood and having that sort of bond, then I think that that's something to like consider.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think also people tend to put a lot of pressure on themselves and timelines.
[SPEAKER_00]: And for women, I understand that because there is sort of like a biological element to it.
[SPEAKER_00]: That said, I also think technology has changed so much in the past like 20 years that
[SPEAKER_00]: It's less of a consumer.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe this is naive of me to say, but I do feel that it is like less of a concern now than it was, you know, in like 2,000 of, you know, oh, you're having a kid in your 36.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, oh, you know, oh, she's, she's old.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's a hag.
[SPEAKER_00]: So like, I think, yeah, I would, I love kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think they're awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: I, um, I would like to have them some day.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I don't ever want to have kids or do something period.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to do something period just because I feel pressured to, yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I feel similarly and also differently.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Go on because I don't want kids ever, which I've talked about on the show before, but I, I've always felt this way.
[SPEAKER_01]: There was never an era of life.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been saying this since I was 13 years old.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been like as soon as I got a period and I had to be confronted with like the idea of getting pregnant, I was like, actually, no, I will be doing that.
[SPEAKER_01]: with peace and love.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much.
[SPEAKER_01]: I will be doing that.
[SPEAKER_01]: None for me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thanks.
[SPEAKER_01]: I had that for lunch.
[SPEAKER_01]: You guys have fun though.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I remember having conversations with family members when I was younger, where they'd be like, oh, you'll you'll change your mind when you get older.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I actually feel the older that I've gotten, the like clearer I've gotten on, no, I really have no desire to have
[SPEAKER_01]: liking to be around kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: I actually do enjoy hanging out with kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just excited to be in aunt.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm excited to get to do the fun parts and the influencing and molding of a child that is ultimately not mine.
[SPEAKER_01]: like I, and I'm sure that this doesn't come as a shock to anybody who listens to this show, but independence is a really high value of mine, which I think has become more and more apparent as I've gotten older.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're talking to the same person who says that she doesn't want to live with someone she's dating.
[SPEAKER_01]: They need to go live down the street or down the hall.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, you need to be in your own house.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't like
[SPEAKER_01]: not having my own individual life.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I'm reaching a point now where I'm even questioning if I want to get married at all.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like suddenly I'm questioning like the institution of marriage.
[SPEAKER_01]: And if I at first it started with me being like, I don't think I'd ever have a wedding.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I was like,
[SPEAKER_01]: do I even want to get married?
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, as I'm getting older, I actually feel more critical of these things, not less.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think of all the people who were like, oh, you'll change your mind on that when you're older.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, that seemed crazy to me now.
[SPEAKER_01]: Actually, it's like, actually, as I've gotten older, all of this should have been even more difficult for me to imagine myself ever wanting.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I
[SPEAKER_01]: really do value a very like independent, individual life for myself.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I totally really respect that that is not everyone's journey and that a lot of people do want
[SPEAKER_01]: To build a family that is theirs.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, in my head, I feel like I already have a family.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and so I don't think about like needing to build a family of my own right I'm like I already have one and I like my family and my siblings will probably have kids and that will be my family too
[SPEAKER_01]: And there's been moments where I've felt like a fear of the future and like if all of my friends and my siblings get married and start families and I don't What does that mean for me like what does my life look like if I am the the like side relative to everyone and I'm in nobody's like core family
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, because eventually we get older and, you know, this might not be an issue now, but maybe it is 30 years from now.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And, um, that's scared me a little bit.
[SPEAKER_01]: But ultimately, I just come back to like, that can't be the reason that my opinion changes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I mean, like, I can't be worried about
[SPEAKER_01]: How I'll feel choosing a different path from other people when I know that choosing a different path is what's right for me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so it's like I, there is a lot of fear and like it's difficult to choose like the less popular path.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, or though my gosh, just like if there is a lot of stress and anxiety that comes with that, and I feel like when you know, you know, and when I think about my future, I want to be left the fuck alone, like when I think about being like an old person, yeah, I've never understood our old people are like, I really don't want to be putting in old people's home.
[SPEAKER_01]: It sounds kind of fucking awesome.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's actually can't wait to be in an old people's home.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like hanging out while your buddies.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like living on a cruise ship with all your friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like they have a schedule for you to do a bunch of shit.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's all like in your little complex.
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's drama because everyone's hooking up with everybody.
[SPEAKER_00]: actually seems like so much fun, like put me in a home, put me in that mother fucking home.
[SPEAKER_00]: Put me in there.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, but even like thinking about being like my parents age and what I'd want to be living like, I'm like, I want to live in a house that's not made a mess by children.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I want to like live in a house that looks like me and I want to be able to play my music and not listen to baby shark all the time Yeah, and I want to be able to like say whatever the fuck I want to say without worrying that my child is going to go to school and call someone a hunt Like I don't want to think about these things I just want to be me and live my life and I want to be selfish So guess what there's not going to be any kids there.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah
[SPEAKER_01]: because I don't want to think about someone else.
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to think about me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Period.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's how I feel.
[SPEAKER_00]: Period.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, no, literally.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, here's the thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, I say I want kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: Last year, I had a dinner party and having to clean up that mess made me piss for a week, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, so it's like,
[SPEAKER_00]: I just think, I just think, I think there are so many ways to live a really full life.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And yes, that might include kids, and it might not.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's either way is fine.
[SPEAKER_00]: And either way is totally fine, like, it's all good.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, literally someone will come over and like use a cup and then they don't put in the dishwasher and I'm like, I can't really do some readjusting.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like pissed.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's like, it's like, so who moved my cheese?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, who moved my fucking cheese?
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I put it right there.
[SPEAKER_00]: Someone moved it over here.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love living alone.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love not having fucking kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love having no one to worry about period.
[SPEAKER_01]: Totally.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was seen too.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was seen.
[SPEAKER_00]: When everybody leaves me alone.
[SPEAKER_00]: I actually had this experience for the first time, like a couple weeks ago, where I had been seeing this guy and like, we were supposed to be going to my friends birthday party.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he, for whatever reason ended up being like 45 minutes to an hour late to my apartment before we were supposed to like leave.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was sitting there and I was like, I can't do this.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like the idea.
[SPEAKER_00]: I get it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like now I'm just on someone else's clock.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah It's you know that's all that's all you do when you have a baby first You're just going to the baby's clock forever and I don't want to be on the baby's clock I know when peace and love to the baby Yeah, my love to the baby here's what I will say to is that like I do think that there are parents who
[SPEAKER_00]: handle like people will handle parenting differently across the board so I think sometimes I can feel really scary because it's like someone will have a baby and then they'll like literally disappear for like a year and like where the fuck did that person go?
[SPEAKER_00]: When my sister and her husband had a baby they were taken him to the bar at like six weeks old.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I went to visit and they're like okay, do you want to go get beers and I was like what about Charlie and they're like strapping him into the baby No, Charlie got the baby Bjorn that's too big for him.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's chill.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's chill Charlie's chill He's totally cool.
[SPEAKER_01]: Charlie's like him there.
[SPEAKER_01]: The boss rule little man is no problem.
[SPEAKER_00]: Straight up.
[SPEAKER_01]: They brought Charlie to the bar slept the whole time You know, it's I think that yeah, I can't wait for Charlie to be a guest on this podcast one day Charlie.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I guess on the podcast Charlie I love you buddy
[SPEAKER_00]: I love you.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have no idea who I am, but I love you to death in my whole world.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, so have kids, don't, you know, I hope that helped that our answers are being like, maybe.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, who knows, oh no, he really, unfortunately, you know the answer to that.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I do think that whatever you choose, you'll be happy with.
[SPEAKER_01]: I agree.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I think I sometimes just have to cling to when I feel confused or conflicted.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have to like cling to the idea that like my intuition will guide me to where I need to be.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was just thinking our minds are like this today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I was just thinking the same exact thing that like I really in my gut, in my heart of hearts, whatever it is in my soul, believe that whatever choice that I will make will come to make.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'll know exactly when I need to know and I don't need to know before then.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not supposed to have all the answers right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm really into these days not rushing through anything, whether it be making breakfast, whether it be a single phase of my life, whether it be a job or anything like that, like we're just walking to this subway.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm really just trying to adopt the feeling of you don't need to rush because this is it.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is all there is being alive exactly every day.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I truly believe that the answer will come to you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: So let us know, trust that womb sister.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you guys so much for listening and if you want to support the show and support our merch you can go to emotionally online dot shop.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can follow the podcast at emotionally online pod.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can join the Patreon to listen to the emotionally online post show for a little bit more for me.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can follow me at Matty Ross Beck.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can follow me at Meg Roko and we will see you guys next week.
[SPEAKER_01]: Bye.