[SPEAKER_00]: It's typical in England to write people apology laws.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's exactly what I've done here.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love the idea of James's accent changing every time, depending on how he's acting.
[SPEAKER_00]: When he's more rowdy, it's so cocky.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then when he's trying to make a mens, he's like very posh.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's actually quite typical to write someone a letter based on when you have to apologize.
[SPEAKER_00]: And in my opinion, Jackson Tom
[SPEAKER_01]: I am the devil, then don't you forget it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't worry about it with a mustache.
[SPEAKER_00]: I take such comments very seriously.
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't be hurt in vain, huh?
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not sure what I've done to you, but I'll think of it in a great view.
[SPEAKER_01]: The only thing I have pulled me back is that I have to self respect and take the knee.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll kiss.
[SPEAKER_01]: What's up you guys and welcome back to the Pumpcast.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm Maddie Drossback and I'm my grew-oco And we need to discuss something that you guys have been deeming us.
[SPEAKER_01]: Non-stop, non-stop, non-stop We've been getting many a message from you guys With the listing for applications to work at Vanderpump Villa and I just want to really quickly go over what those jobs are yes those jobs are
[SPEAKER_01]: Executive Chef.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Su-Chef.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Cook.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Fine dining server.
[SPEAKER_01]: Artender?
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Event coordinator.
[SPEAKER_01]: Uh-huh.
[SPEAKER_01]: Guest services.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Activities director.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Housekeeper.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Guys, do you have something you want to tell us?
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you think should we stop doing the podcast?
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you want us to be more employed?
[SPEAKER_01]: What the fuck you?
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you mean?
[SPEAKER_01]: You want us to go be housekeeping at Vanderpum Villa?
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you mean?
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought you wanted to pump cash.
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought you wanted to episode the leak and the pastry on.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, what the hell?
[SPEAKER_00]: What the hell?
[SPEAKER_00]: They're like getting the kitchen.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now they're like, I want to see you be a sushi.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I also want to see?
[SPEAKER_00]: You be a janitor.
[SPEAKER_00]: You be Lisa's janitor, dance monkey.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are you sending us this?
[SPEAKER_00]: This is honestly, it's the fun you should to me.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's like all this sudden somebody sends me like a LinkedIn listing of this.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, that's crazy.
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you think we're doing over you?
[SPEAKER_00]: No, right.
[SPEAKER_00]: Guys, we're employed.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to be employed.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's actually why we don't have more content for you every single week.
[SPEAKER_01]: We have things to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have other stuff going on famously.
[SPEAKER_00]: We would piece in love.
[SPEAKER_00]: But you know what?
[SPEAKER_00]: Now that they bring it up.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've always wanted to be an executive chef.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you know, and now that they bring it up, I do think we'd be really good activity directors.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's the thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: A rat has been living under my hat for the past two years, and I've just been wondering, what the hell do I do with that little guy?
[SPEAKER_00]: So true.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think maybe the answer has been right in front of me all along.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: We become a duo of executive chef, a founder of Villa.
[SPEAKER_01]: Or you'd be the executive chef.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd be the activities director.
[SPEAKER_01]: I make everyone play Tune Town.
[SPEAKER_01]: At gunpoint, I make the whole cast of Anna Pump, the little play tune down.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's just one season of Vanderpump Villa.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just dead quiet, except for people playing tune town.
[SPEAKER_01]: Everyone's in a while going like, oh, you're the music in the background.
[SPEAKER_01]: Every now and then, it'll just cut to footage of them as these fucking colorful animals just walking through the streets of tune down with horrible graphics.
[SPEAKER_00]: That could be something.
[SPEAKER_01]: Who Lou?
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's what I will say.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think of those jobs.
[SPEAKER_00]: What was it guess services?
[SPEAKER_00]: What was the other one?
[SPEAKER_00]: I think we could do guess services and activities director the best.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think you could be a good activities director.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I could be a good director.
[SPEAKER_00]: Totally.
[SPEAKER_00]: For sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because that's ultimately just vibes.
[SPEAKER_00]: For sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: The chef stuff though.
[SPEAKER_01]: Come on.
[SPEAKER_00]: And here's the thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Is that just because we're fat?
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you guys think that we can cook just because we're fat?
[SPEAKER_00]: Be honest.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, guys.
[SPEAKER_00]: What made you think I could be a chef, guys?
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me do think I could be a chef, exactly, guys.
[SPEAKER_00]: And the thing is, like, so many of those jobs were a chef.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not literally gonna laugh with the bar chef of the merch up guys.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've never even worked on a restaurant before executive chef Soushef cook Makes a food.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
[SPEAKER_00]: In case you guys need job microwave Totino's pizza rolls.
[SPEAKER_00]: They said pack it up
[SPEAKER_00]: Guys, here's the thing, we would love to work at Vanderpump Villa.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, obviously we would love to work at Vanderpump Villa.
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to be there under cover, though.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ultimately, I would love if Lisa Vanderpump kind of bankrolled our entire lives.
[SPEAKER_01]: Many to just invite us to the villa.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, many, she style the way that patrons did for artists back during the freaking not the Renaissance.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, what's the Renaissance?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, anyway, in Italy, I would love if Lisa Vanderpump was doing that for us.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, the reality is is that she just isn't quite yet not yet.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but maybe someday she might I don't know that she might get bored one day Just love our crazy little vibes.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was really like you girls Additionally, I did see a comment of someone being like what's blue?
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm I'm new here.
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you guys mean?
[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, we don't we don't mean poof.
[SPEAKER_01]: We do mean we do poof.
[SPEAKER_01]: Poof to me is an entirely different word
[SPEAKER_00]: Who has a connotation that to me is way less intentional than Booth?
[SPEAKER_00]: Poof is like magic.
[SPEAKER_01]: Poof is like a Poof is like, I'm throwing down a smoke bomb.
[SPEAKER_01]: Totally.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm getting triggered.
[SPEAKER_00]: I got punished.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like the Roblox sound.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[UNKNOWN]: Poof.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like that's what Boof is.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's way heavier, harder hitting than that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Poof.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, we're not poofing.
[SPEAKER_01]: We never mean poof.
[SPEAKER_01]: We've been boofed up on this podcast since season one episode one.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you think for a second that we haven't been boofed up, honestly, that's on us.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love the concept of someone being like, hmm, I'm new here.
[SPEAKER_01]: What the hell is going on?
[SPEAKER_01]: And we're like, no, no, no questions.
[SPEAKER_01]: No questions.
[SPEAKER_00]: No more questions.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're actually not taking questions at this time.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you very much.
[SPEAKER_01]: You either get it or you don't and we're not we're no longer accepting any questions about booth.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah We create the language we don't explain right.
[SPEAKER_01]: So listen don't be lots of other words That we create the definitions up and you guys just got and got a roll with it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep, or get left behind Here's what I will say to famously like I have listened to podcasts where they I'm like, you know I listened to a podcast where they're four years in and they reference something and they're like
[SPEAKER_00]: Ha ha ha ha ha ha like clearly it's such a big inside joke to them and I'm like I don't know what the fuck they're talking about but obviously it means something to somebody Yeah, and that's kind of maybe back to the start.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe that's what boof is He is just awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't even have that many episodes yet.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we've got like what like 30 episodes There's something yeah answers are out there.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah Adventures out there.
[SPEAKER_00]: I believe in you.
[SPEAKER_00]: All you gotta do is seek it
[SPEAKER_00]: I also want to talk about something that I hope isn't jumping the gun too much, but it's another thing that we've been sent a lot this past week.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, which is still alluding to me, it's true meaning and context.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it is a music video that Miss Sheena Shea, and a character that we have not been introduced to on this podcast yet, but we'll be a big player later.
[SPEAKER_00]: Miss Lala Kent.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, created.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're in.
[SPEAKER_01]: Start in for a movie question mark.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I like loosely looked it up smart because I never seen this.
[SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm, makes sense to me and I was like,
[SPEAKER_01]: How is this never crossed my desk before and I said I said this is the first time it's crossing I don't think this is crazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: What is but I loosely I didn't look into this very much But this morning I looked it up and it seemed like it was made in promotion for a movie called like a boss And then song was called like a boss.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just like who on the like a boss team?
[SPEAKER_00]: either also worked at Vanderpump rules, or was like so obsessed with it that they were like no guys.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't get it.
[SPEAKER_00]: This crossover is going to be a hit.
[SPEAKER_00]: Lala and China need to be on this track.
[SPEAKER_00]: They also like random pairing to me.
[SPEAKER_01]: It totally, Lala and Shina.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it was like around 2020, I guess, that this got put up.
[SPEAKER_01]: They said it was in, around like season eight.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I guess if you guys have more insight, let us know.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because that, you know, what, what is all that?
[SPEAKER_00]: Is utterly perplexing to me personally.
[SPEAKER_00]: It looks like it's shot like a lonely island video.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, it literally looks like an SNL sketch the way that it's edited together, because it's like clips of Lala and Shina interspliced with clips of the movie.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, this movie has a 22% on Rotten Tomatoes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, epic.
[SPEAKER_01]: So nobody likes this movie.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're back at pump, baby, yo!
[SPEAKER_01]: It's 24 hours before opening and we're popped right back into the staff meeting, post suspension and the James firing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Lisa pulls Tom outside and
[SPEAKER_01]: tells him how ashamed of him she is and he's like, you know, I just, I feel like I should just be punished out of guilt.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's how bad and horrible I feel.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just so awful.
[SPEAKER_00]: Which is really funny because it's like, maybe you should be punished because you started it?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, also like he, he still refuses to acknowledge that he started it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like he still dead set on the fact that James somehow provoked him.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: James and Kristen were standing at the bar and Tom walks up to them and is the one that provokes them.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: James, I guess, just was better at it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Better at coming back at him.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's really strange because Tom is just like,
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like I guess I'll just be the good guy and take the suspension for the team and it's like Well, no, you should be taking the suspension because you you instigate it a fight, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: These like I'm just I'm riddled with guilt.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you should you should absolutely punish me for what I've done.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like oh
[SPEAKER_00]: Still holding him arms out just taking shots for everyone.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's the soldier taking a full of shit.
[SPEAKER_01]: Check the child.
[SPEAKER_01]: Meanwhile, James and Kristen are ripping sigs outside with Lisa's son.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the epic era for them both because any time either of them are so stressed out, they immediately go outside and start ripping sigs.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, fuck, it does just look really chic.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just so funny that they're doing it next to Max, Lisa's son.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're like talking to Max about how frustrated they are that Kristen just got put on some mention and James got fired.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's like, bullies mom.
[SPEAKER_00]: Max's Max is like, yeah, well, you could maybe write our letter.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, yeah, dude, you just have to apologize like, you know, just be nice and whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's it's like, yeah, time and place like maybe don't talk your boss in front of your boss's son.
[SPEAKER_00]: What the hell are you doing?
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: So Boof, we're at Lux on Rodeo and Stasi shows up to have lunch with her dad who is already kind of drunk.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think classic this guy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, whatever the hell
[SPEAKER_00]: And there are a few weird comments that her dad makes in this scene.
[SPEAKER_00]: Number one is when Stasi, she's remarking on the fact that they're sitting on her day or driving.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's like, I feel like I'm in pretty woman and her dad is like, you're a prostitute and Beverly Hills.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ha ha ha.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like,
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, that's a little strange, but like whatever we keep pushing and they start talking about, uh, you know, Stasi living in LA coming back to LA after living in New York for six months and she was like, you know, my time in New York, I was just like getting more centered and I was feeling more like myself and like feeling so chill.
[SPEAKER_00]: And now that I'm here, I'm just like not feeling that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I feel really stressed out and I feel really
[SPEAKER_00]: And like, just the idea of seeing like sheen on all of them.
[SPEAKER_00]: And her dad is like, when do you have to see sheen on all of them?
[SPEAKER_00]: And Stasi's like, well, obviously I'm going to sir in the pump opening tomorrow.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, well, obviously duh.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm fucking idiot.
[SPEAKER_00]: Dumb ass.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm obviously going to the restaurant where they all work.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, I literally can't stand these people.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I hate revisiting the like sight of my trauma.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sex unique restaurant restaurant and lounge.
[SPEAKER_01]: However, with that being said, I will be going there tomorrow.
[SPEAKER_01]: And maybe the next day also.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just kind of depending on where things take me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I might show up next day and seeing how Thursday shakes out.
[SPEAKER_00]: I might stop by for an afternoon, seven-year-long.
[SPEAKER_01]: Who knows?
[SPEAKER_01]: And then she's like, you know, I'm happy to be in LA because people in New York really expected me to be employed and have ambitions and shifts.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: Also that she's saying this to her dad who is for sure bankrolling like all of her shit right now And her dad's like yeah, they're hardos over there fucking relax take a load off You do enough stars because she's like they just keep asking me like what do you do?
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like walk around
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, I just need to like, you know, get back to LA, but I really was like so zen and centered out there where I wasn't doing anything and now I'm back in the mess of it all.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it sucks.
[SPEAKER_01]: But these two things also seem to contradict each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: I agree.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, she like simultaneously hated and loved New York and also hates and loves LA.
[SPEAKER_00]: And also seems to be,
[SPEAKER_00]: like bristling at the idea of seeing Shina but is also going out of her way to be in places where Shina will be.
[SPEAKER_00]: She also mentions that part of why she doesn't want to see Shina is because Shina has been tweeting nasty shit about her, which again is just like such a delicious little morsel of this Aerospecificly.
[SPEAKER_01]: The fact that like Twitter was a place where you could like voice your, uh, grievances about someone publicly when you guys are like both pioneers.
[SPEAKER_01]: Subtweeting was like so in yes, that time so in the amount of times that I subtweeted in like middle and high school I couldn't even count it on my hands.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd love to subtweet back then.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just so fun.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah I only got called out for subtweeting once.
[SPEAKER_01]: Whoa, what happened?
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, they were fully right.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was subtweeting
[SPEAKER_01]: I honestly I completely forget what I said but it was someone that I thought was literally so fucking rude and every time I was around them they just grinded my gears.
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought they were like very boy crazy and boy obsessed and even as a 14 year old I thought that was truly an utterly embarrassing.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a ghost.
[SPEAKER_00]: Isn't that?
[SPEAKER_00]: And while Stasi is talking to her dad, her dad is like, well, I know you miss Jacks and stuff.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like gross.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I didn't miss Jacks.
[SPEAKER_00]: We haven't even talked about him anymore.
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't talk about him.
[SPEAKER_00]: And her dad's like, her dad's like, you right, he's a tick.
[SPEAKER_00]: I should have bought you a collar to wear to keep him away.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like,
[SPEAKER_00]: All right.
[SPEAKER_00]: This guy's just not funny at all.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not funny.
[SPEAKER_00]: And the stuff that you say to your daughter is really off-putting, I think.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's just like constantly swinging and missing this guy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Everything he says, I'm like, Don't say that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't say that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, hey, hey.
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that what Steve McQueen would say?
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't say that.
[SPEAKER_00]: What would Steve McQueen do, okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: Boof away from this conversation.
[SPEAKER_01]: And right to therapy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Probably is third therapy session in total, but Jack's is back in office.
[SPEAKER_00]: All of which have been televised.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: He comes in once a season to really debrief.
[SPEAKER_00]: The therapy session will be televised.
[SPEAKER_01]: And he tells us therapists that, you know, he met a girl named Tiffany and he's total in love and there's also this other girl named Carmen Great girl a lot younger love her.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, yeah, no queen all love love her vibes Call me all love Carmen love you girl except I did break up with her
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, you know, I just, I've reached the point where I was like, God, you know, I just can't do this anymore.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I just don't think I'm being fair to you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, you know, that's a really convenient way to reframe and twist the memory of what that conversation actually went like.
[SPEAKER_01]: but got speed jacks, you really do have such a creative mind.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, your mind is a really terrifying place, but you know how to spend something so good for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: And the therapist is like,
[SPEAKER_00]: What happens to you?
[SPEAKER_00]: And like she doesn't kind of finish the question before Jessica's, I know, I'm terrible.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because he also admits to getting Carmen's name tattooed as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the therapist is Gobbsmacked.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, you have an illness.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, she's like, what happens to you and your body when you do these things?
[SPEAKER_00]: Things, which is the politest way of asking what the fuck is wrong with you?
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's like, what happens to your body when you do these things?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, do you leave your body and then you come back when you do it and he's like, you know, I did it because it made her happy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a people pleaser and I can't say no because what if then people don't like me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Jack Taylor, I don't know how to tell you this.
[SPEAKER_01]: You are not a people pleaser and also you're not liked.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is also one of the craziest things he's ever said.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm a, I'm just such a people- These are just trying to make her happy, Jacks.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have never attempted to make anyone happy ever.
[SPEAKER_00]: Name one people you're pleased.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, clearly, I let, let me see the people.
[SPEAKER_00]: Brother, the people that you've pleased.
[SPEAKER_00]: He, he like, here is the church.
[SPEAKER_01]: Here is the steeple, open up the doors.
[SPEAKER_01]: And here's all the people, whatever the fuck that thing is.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what Jack does inside his, whoa, Jack.
[SPEAKER_01]: Jack?
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what Jack does inside his head, to convince himself.
[SPEAKER_00]: of the people he's pleased the people he's pleased send me a list of the people we want to interview them let me know anyway jacks is basically just like yeah these tattoos are like they're just tattoos like they don't really mean anything and the therapist is like okay and they kind of briefly touch on the fact that uh stasi is back
[SPEAKER_00]: And the therapist is like, you know, do you think that you're going to have a relationship with her again and Jackson's like, well, I mean, you know, we got a we got to build that trust back and like I'm working on that I'm working on building the trust back in the therapist is like, are there still feelings there for you and Jack's goes, no, no, no, not at all like there there are no feelings there because they're camping and so she goes, so it sounds like there are feelings there then and he goes,
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, he basically hits her with a peanut butter baby.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, yeah By the time we get to the end of this conversation, I'm like, how did we just glaze right over the tattoo of it all?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we really didn't spend enough time on that.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel you got to hope that there's more that was cut out.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, yeah
[SPEAKER_01]: Totally should have questioned his motives on why it is that he gets these tattoos This story that he spends the fact that he's not questioned at all.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like somebody needs to call him out The tattoos are a manipulation tactic.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not trusting this therapist as far as I can throw her.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I don't, I actually don't think she's a therapist.
[SPEAKER_00]: Elizabeth Winkler, your days are numb.
[SPEAKER_01]: Is that her name?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Elizabeth Winkler, Ph.D. Watch her back, Elizabeth Winkler.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm kidding, for legal reasons, that's a joke.
[SPEAKER_00]: Elizabeth Winkler, we'd like to do a session.
[SPEAKER_00]: We would, we get couples counseling with Elizabeth Winkler.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're like, please, please help us.
[SPEAKER_00]: I got Maddie's tattoo.
[SPEAKER_00]: I got Maddie's name tattooed on my face.
[SPEAKER_00]: We sure love this sleeve full of Sheena tattoos.
[SPEAKER_01]: We got them removed temporarily.
[SPEAKER_01]: So up with the tattoo that says carbon.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're like, I think we made a mistake.
[SPEAKER_00]: We can't stop getting tattoos that we see in Vanderbibre.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, we just love season three episode two.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: It just means so much to us.
[SPEAKER_00]: And she's like, OK, well, let's talk about that then.
[SPEAKER_01]: What happens inside your body?
[SPEAKER_01]: Where do you go?
[SPEAKER_01]: We're like to serve to the Sir Ali to sex unique restaurant restaurant and lounge to the alley where all my friends are I'm supposed to cigarettes and have a wine.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm literally still in the alley right now.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm in the alley right now.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm in the alley.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm teleporting myself to the alley
[SPEAKER_01]: Or if we do, so actually booths, James and Kristen are out drinking at the liquid kitty.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, nice.
[SPEAKER_01]: I like that name.
[SPEAKER_00]: Liquid kitty.
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
[SPEAKER_01]: James is stressing out about money, because Sir was what paid his bills.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Kristen's like, you know what, I'm stressed out too.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm still paying Tom's bills.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have his cable, I have his insurance.
[SPEAKER_01]: Why isn't Ariana taking care of these things now?
[UNKNOWN]: Oh my god.
[SPEAKER_01]: Crazy sentence grids them so close to the point you got so close to doing so it's so funny Cause James just blondes and he's like yeah, it should be her responsibility and Christen's like well No, it should actually be his and it's like okay, but you just repeating what you said you started that You said why is an Ariana taking care of it and then immediately back to When she's like well hey hey hey It's all woman don't talk about Ariana like that
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't talk about her like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I just like, I have so many questions about this.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's such a, the Kristen and James relationship of it all in this earlier season is so funny because James doesn't even feel like her boyfriend.
[SPEAKER_00]: He feels like her minion.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's crazy.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not in the, like, papaya way, but like, in the way, like, he is, like, following her around and doing her bidding and being, like, yes, Kristen, very good, Kristen.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, also, like, this conversation is so weird to be having with your current present day boyfriend.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Kristen is so clearly not over Tom.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yup.
[SPEAKER_01]: In any way, and she's basically venting about that to her current boyfriend.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's bizarre.
[SPEAKER_00]: And James even says he's like, I'm over Kristen and Tom's relationship.
[SPEAKER_00]: I hope one day Kristen will be over Kristen and Tom's relationship.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like you're both pathetic.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right up.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, to me, this is giving like... Kristen and James are just queening out with each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like James is giving like gay best friend in this.
[SPEAKER_00]: He totally is.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, you're so right, girlfriend.
[SPEAKER_01]: James loves a gossip.
[SPEAKER_01]: He does.
[SPEAKER_01]: So he just gets into it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, do we understand what we're gossiping about?
[SPEAKER_01]: He forgets, he gets so excited about gossiping.
[SPEAKER_01]: But he's like, oh wait, I'm like involved in this.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is like my girlfriend talking about being in love with another man.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, if I went through a breakup and it was like a horrible messy, like we both cheated on each other kind of thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Uh, I think truly one of the first things I would do was stop paying for his car insurance.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, Kristen, why are you still paying for that at all?
[SPEAKER_00]: What the hell?
[SPEAKER_00]: You got those bills, you opened it up, you laugh, you throw it away.
[SPEAKER_01]: Ha ha.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's no universe where I would be like, well, I guess I still have to keep paying these.
[SPEAKER_01]: Here's the crazy thing, too, is like, no shot I'm even paying for those to be getting with.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, well, yeah, absolutely.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not paying those fucking bills.
[SPEAKER_01]: How did you even in the first place get sacked with that bill?
[SPEAKER_00]: How did you get saddled with final pay or car insurance?
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, she went from being his chauffeur to also paying his car insurance when he does have a car again.
[SPEAKER_01]: So she owns the car then.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's her car.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's so crisp and as too car.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I guess Kristen just has two cars.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sell the car crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy.
[SPEAKER_00]: So so nuts.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so boof, we're a crunch fitness.
[SPEAKER_00]: This episode in particular has like one million little scenes that are frankly to me useless.
[SPEAKER_01]: They go in absolutely nowhere.
[SPEAKER_00]: Truly nowhere.
[SPEAKER_00]: And like the thing is, you're always going to get a scene that goes nowhere when it's Tom and Tom.
[SPEAKER_01]: Those guys don't know what the hell's going on.
[SPEAKER_00]: When it's those fuckers, they aren't doing Jack shit, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: And Tom and Tom are quote unquote working out.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Sandevol is like, dude, he's like joking because he's like, saying a line that he practiced in the bathroom or some bullshit.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's like, I had a dream that James got fired.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Schwartz is like, dude, I have news for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: That wasn't a dream.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they're like, yeah!
[SPEAKER_00]: Fuck yeah, dude, that's awesome sick.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're like the guys from who stole my car Like that's the vibe they're giving, but so much worse because they're not even like funny.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_01]: And the sand of all the fact that his face is so covered in bruises and scratches like
[SPEAKER_01]: You know he thinks he looks so hard up doing these weights at the gym.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I just like, if you could show all of the other people at the gym, what James looks like.
[SPEAKER_01]: This scrawny British motherfucker that does not have a single scratch or bruise on him.
[SPEAKER_01]: When Tom's animal looks like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, that's really rough.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like Tom's animal fully has like a black eye.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like a slope in the scene.
[SPEAKER_01]: How did James do that today?
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't know he had it in him.
[SPEAKER_00]: How did he get so many punches and so fat?
[SPEAKER_00]: Top got none and top was the one who lunged that him.
[SPEAKER_01]: And top is like beefier than Jay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Totally.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, in a decade older than him!
[SPEAKER_01]: Like there's no reason that James should have won that.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's insane.
[SPEAKER_00]: But he seems to think he looks tough.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they're continuing to lift weights.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Sandevol asks Schwartz about Katie.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, how's the sex?
[SPEAKER_00]: And Schwartz goes, Oh man, I'm in so much sex debt.
[SPEAKER_00]: He goes, he goes, there's so many rain checks under our bed, it's overflowing.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, honestly, just like, can't even think about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: But like you, you're having sex all the time.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're glowing, man.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can see it.
[SPEAKER_01]: You dog.
[SPEAKER_01]: You've got the pus glow.
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely dog, and Tom's like, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, when he spend your time not arguing so much, you uh, you find time for other things.
[SPEAKER_00]: I made a note that just says you fucking loser, you fucking virgin loser.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are you talking about sex like that at 30 years old?
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, no, it's actually so embarrassing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm having sex with my girlfriend.
[SPEAKER_00]: What hey no one cares no one gives a fuck no one gives a fuck So I'm way more interested in shorts and Katie not having any sex at all totally then I am in sand of all having I'm like now deeply interested in the Mental state of shorts and how we cannot take life seriously enough to fuck shorts to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like Is this man just a sexual?
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe like genuinely maybe genuinely maybe
[SPEAKER_00]: Last episode, we learned that he honks boobs.
[SPEAKER_00]: This episode, we're learning that he's in so much quote unquote, sex debt that he has to make up for.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you don't like fucking shorts.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let us know.
[SPEAKER_01]: Think of, yeah, we DMs shorts on TikTok.
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you a sexual?
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought it was in the funniest thing we could ask you.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, hi, hello.
[SPEAKER_00]: Or we send the wave emoji and then are you a sexual?
[SPEAKER_01]: Just asking.
[SPEAKER_00]: We've been waiting for the perfect thing to send him.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll love, I'll love by the way.
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you a sexual?
[SPEAKER_01]: Uh, we love your time.
[SPEAKER_01]: We love your time all the time.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll love brother all of except for when we don't.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'll love except Not always but maybe maybe maybe today and maybe tomorrow, but maybe not and you know when we'll see Yeah, we'll see you very And until then and when that happens, we will you know we'll be around the blocking around and and well We'll love well and that's what they say, so Yeah, I'll love all love
[SPEAKER_00]: Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
[SPEAKER_01]: Sir big day the big day pump opening and this opening and what is Jiggy going to wear This is a big problem Okay, Lisa's got her glam squad getting her and Jiggy ready.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, cuz they're a duo.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they got a little good She's like what am I going to wear
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's a conversation for all of two seconds, and then she comes out in a purple, body, hugging dress, boobular, boobular to the max.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: And she looks at her stylus, or whoever this guy is.
[SPEAKER_00]: And she's like, oh, you're not gay anymore.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's like, no, I still am.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's like, rats.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the end of that scene.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I do love that her and Jiggy are matching.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's in like a dark purple dress, and Jiggy is basically wearing like a dog-selky dress.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's awesome.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's really cool.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, Boof over to Sur.
[SPEAKER_01]: Stasi's walking in, as she said that she would.
[SPEAKER_01]: She has some free time, so she's there.
[SPEAKER_01]: She sits at the bar, and orders a wine, Christina Kelly comes in and hugs her, and she's like, God, look at you and look at me in this fucking uniform, and it's little outfit, and Stasi's like, well, you're so skinny.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're skinny.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're skinny, so.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll start saying that to you, really, but you're so skinny.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, you know what, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: You're so right.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you're true.
[SPEAKER_01]: Then Katie walks up and they giggle and have a little laugh about how the surf staff meeting went.
[SPEAKER_01]: Uh-huh, but they before and that Kristen did, in fact, get suspended.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Stossies like, yeah, thought tracks.
[SPEAKER_01]: But they're like pissed.
[SPEAKER_01]: Their, why is James getting fired and Kristen's only getting suspended when Kristen is the real problem and half of the restaurant has beef with Kristen.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Get her out of here.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Stasi and a talking head is like, every May, the flowers start blooming.
[SPEAKER_00]: The day is get longer.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm Kristen, gets suspended.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, both to the pump opening.
[SPEAKER_00]: Schwartz is behind the bar.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the music choice for this transition.
[SPEAKER_01]: I honestly think they used this song on Summer House also, because this was one of the ones that I'm like, it sounds so bad.
[SPEAKER_00]: Which one is this?
[SPEAKER_01]: Give me all you got, I want you to intoxicate me.
[SPEAKER_01]: They have used that one before.
[SPEAKER_01]: I hate it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I hate this one.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: That one's a bad one in their rotation.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: But Schwartz is finally employed, thank God.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is major.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because for Schwartz, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: His bread and butter is print modeling.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Come on.
[SPEAKER_01]: But you know, he lacks stability.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and he has it in him to become a Renaissance man.
[SPEAKER_01]: He can just tell.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can do it.
[SPEAKER_01]: He said, shorts of all trades.
[SPEAKER_00]: How hard can having a job even be?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, come on, come on.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know how to make a marker reader.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then it pans to shorts.
[SPEAKER_00]: making a drink for Shina and he immediately knocked something over.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, Shina is working the pump opening.
[SPEAKER_01]: So she's given Schwartz a little test.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like test run, make me something.
[SPEAKER_00]: Make me something.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Schwartz is like, oh.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, if I have to.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like visibly nervous and here's the thing about the mouse.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to give the mouse a cookie.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, the mouse doesn't make you anything.
[SPEAKER_00]: The mouse doesn't know how to make the cookies.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, he was never given that recipe.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was never given the recipe.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't give the mouse oven mitts.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're too big.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's tough.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's truly one of the most painful things I've ever seen about him.
[SPEAKER_01]: But Schwarze is genuinely terrified of Lisa Vanderpump, so this is like a horrible position that he's in.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: He does not know what he's doing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Uh-uh.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's shaking.
[SPEAKER_01]: He literally cannot steady his hands enough to pour a shot.
[SPEAKER_00]: It really does make me wonder, like, what was his bartending experience for this?
[SPEAKER_01]: And was it, in fact, just like making a vodka soda for what his friends were over?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like a home bartending.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: Schwartz, let us know.
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you a sexual?
[SPEAKER_00]: Have you bartended before?
[SPEAKER_00]: We need to know.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let us know.
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, so poof!
[SPEAKER_01]: James rolls up to Sir in his car.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, this honestly I forgot this happened.
[SPEAKER_00]: I forgot that this happened and I was laughing so hard.
[SPEAKER_00]: That James, just stone-faced rolls up in his beamer, just Crazy car to leave me That's out of his car walks up walks up to the little punch in station goes He turns to someone he goes, hey, how you didn't you all right start to shift
[SPEAKER_00]: Clearing stuff completely, not even a twinkle in his eye that he's doing something wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's awesome.
[SPEAKER_01]: And when he walks in to clock him for the shift, Katie and Peter are having a conversation like down the hallway and Katie's like,
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you, is that am I seeing things correctly like what is happening over there and Peter's like, yeah, what is happening over there?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna get to the bottom of that God handle it, so there's like storming off And really walking over to pump He walks all the way around the block to pump
[SPEAKER_00]: Which also, I think this is the first time that we're realizing like just how close the rest of us are.
[SPEAKER_01]: He just walks down the street and they have like a whole red carpet set up for pump.
[SPEAKER_01]: And can is just like watching the red carpet.
[SPEAKER_01]: So Peter walks straight up to can and is like, Okay, I have an issue because why the hell is James working right now?
[SPEAKER_01]: And because like, what?
[SPEAKER_01]: James is fired.
[SPEAKER_02]: James is supposed to work.
[SPEAKER_02]: In fact, he's not even allowed on the premise of setting more.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, he's a fire.
[SPEAKER_02]: Got him up.
[SPEAKER_02]: Got him up immediately.
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, yes, sir.
[SPEAKER_02]: I will take care of it.
[SPEAKER_01]: He transformed him again.
[SPEAKER_01]: He, like, is the type of person that, like, he mimics the voice.
[SPEAKER_01]: That someone says to him.
[SPEAKER_01]: Meanwhile, inside of pump, she is working the kitchen like the fucking navy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, she is.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's eating down in the kitchen, and Lisa walks in.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's like, oh my god, it's so crowded outside.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is like so crazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: So crazy.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's like, I'm bloody knackered.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, yeah, you are girl.
[SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, they exchange like very brief conversation.
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't really matter.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Lisa walks outside to check in on shorts and shorts is like don't worry mama.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm on my best behavior.
[SPEAKER_00]: And she's like, well, that means nothing to me.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, I'm doing great.
[SPEAKER_00]: I promise Lisa.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like flop sweat on the back of his shirt.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I wrote down a gay man hands Lisa.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, card.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's like, you're everything to this community.
[SPEAKER_00]: You've done so much.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a true.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, girl.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, queen.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, queen, I'm here for sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Then.
[SPEAKER_00]: Stasi shows up to the pump opening.
[SPEAKER_00]: She greets Jeremy and mentions, first mention of the show that she wants a pump teeny.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, the work of the show pump teeny.
[SPEAKER_01]: Pump teeny.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's go.
[SPEAKER_01]: So Stasi's standing at the bar and Shina walks up behind her, and she's like, hi.
[SPEAKER_01]: Funny seeing you here.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, we haven't spoken.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Stasi's like, well, yeah, you know why.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have a spoken.
[SPEAKER_00]: And she was like, um, well, I always was talking to you.
[SPEAKER_01]: You stopped talking to me.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's not she's like, no, she and I, this is my problem.
[SPEAKER_01]: You always love to play the victim role.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I did something to you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And she just like, well, you did do something to me.
[SPEAKER_01]: I asked you to be a part of my wedding and you made fun of it.
[SPEAKER_01]: You made fun of being a bride's maid to all these people.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so she's like, when did I do that?
[SPEAKER_01]: When did I do that?
[SPEAKER_01]: She totally did do that, but...
[SPEAKER_00]: When did I do that?
[SPEAKER_00]: And is it on camera?
[SPEAKER_01]: You weren't there and it's not on camera, so...
[SPEAKER_01]: And Stasi's like, you actually like, you've done nothing and then go on social media and tweet horrible things about me and she and is like, I totally didn't tweet like I might have retweeted, but we don't talk anymore.
[SPEAKER_01]: So why the fuck would I care?
[SPEAKER_01]: Honestly bad take, but I kind of appreciate seeing she and a bite back.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I like honestly the first I felt this way the first time I watched it and I feel this way rewatching it now like Obviously both of them are wrong.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but I Honestly have a lot of grace for sheena yeah in that I watched this girl get bullied for two season straight So she wants to bully the bullies back fucking okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, go off sheen
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the thing is it's like everything that Sheena does has been in retaliation to like a mean thing that Stasi has already done.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's like, yeah, I don't really fault Sheena for being like, you know, Stasi's a bitch because she, I like fully asked her to be in my wedding and then she turned around and should talk to it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, to everybody.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's like, yeah, you're both wrong.
[SPEAKER_01]: And for that reason, I love you both.
[SPEAKER_01]: And for that reason, all of for that reason.
[SPEAKER_01]: Stay exactly as you are.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, Booth.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're back at Sir and Jacks walks over to Christina Kelly and they're talking about how slow it is and Christina Kelly is like, yeah, you know, Stasi came by earlier and Jacks is like, what?
[SPEAKER_00]: Stasi is here?
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you mean?
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought I smelled her.
[SPEAKER_00]: Stop!
[SPEAKER_00]: She was here.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's sniffing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Dr. Silly like, you know, I haven't spoken to her.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I just want to check in and see how she's doing.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know what, Christina Kelly eats down in the sand.
[SPEAKER_00]: She does incredible work.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's doing all the shit that we have been saying for two seasons.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like the only person who actually on their show has acted like a friend.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: I got to give her flowers.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: She totally crushed this conversation with Jack.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, she is like, why are you acting so surprised that like she was here and didn't say a high to you?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, she's like you literally fucked her best friend.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Jax is like, well, I mean, like, we both fucked up.
[SPEAKER_01]: We were both horrible to each other.
[SPEAKER_01]: So like, what's the problem?
[SPEAKER_01]: Jax put a fucking sock in it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Christina Kelly is like, what could you possibly even say to her and Jack is like, well like I just want to see how she's doing and like I'm close to your to her family and Christina Kelly is like, you were you were close to her family you were close to her you did know her and her dog you don't any more this is the present moment in the present moment you two are broken up and you have no reason to be interacting with her at all.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, Christina Kelly is like, she's fine.
[SPEAKER_01]: Her family is fine.
[SPEAKER_01]: Her dog is fine.
[SPEAKER_01]: She won't be saying hi to you.
[SPEAKER_01]: She is nothing to say to you at all.
[SPEAKER_01]: Move on.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I truly couldn't have said it better myself Christina incredible Christina and incredible performance from Christina Kelly kind of incredible nothing We've ever seen on this show quite yet.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love like just telling Jax like she won't be saying hi to you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, like she's like Stossie's fucking public is right.
[SPEAKER_01]: That'd be so awesome keep it pushing
[SPEAKER_00]: It really is great and it's like she also I think to me it's kind of like she's the only one of Stasi's friends who can actually say that at this point because like Katie and Kristen still kind of weirdly have a stranger convoluted relationship with Jacks.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think obviously Kristen does but like
[SPEAKER_00]: Even Katie I just don't think would say that yeah that moment and totally they're like two interconnected with the boyfriend Yeah, you know the mutuality that Kelly doesn't give a fuck.
[SPEAKER_01]: She does not like this man And she's not afraid to let the world down.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's so awesome She's saying everything like I wish I could say to some man some some of my friends like these are actually bad for real be like enough
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, Jacks also does use his like go-to line at one point during the scene and a talking head of his where he's like, yeah, I know I fucked up, but she's no angel.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, that's your thing that you say all the time when you're trying to like skirt out of responsibility.
[SPEAKER_01]: Also like you are so much worse than Stossie ever was.
[SPEAKER_01]: If Stossie's biggest crime is being a bitch, so be it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Your biggest crime is
[SPEAKER_01]: Getting a woman in Vegas pregnant while you were dating Stasi and afterwards choosing to fuck her best friend.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah So let's pit crime against crime, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: And Jack's Christina Kelly says all that and Jack says literally just like Okay, all right He's like so scared of you so peanut butter baby in this episode.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's so just like oh
[SPEAKER_00]: And leaves.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so it's later it's sir and James is still just busing as pre-usual.
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, his face is completely blank.
[SPEAKER_00]: He is not not a single thought is registering in his head that maybe he should be doing this and Peter like marches off time.
[SPEAKER_01]: To deal with it took him this long to walk back from pump.
[SPEAKER_01]: He took the scenic route.
[SPEAKER_00]: He took, he took a Ken's jeloppy that they drove in the, in the first season and Peter like goes up to James and is like, hey man, can we talk in in the alley for a second James like, oh, what?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's like Ariana's out there Sipping your cocktail getting a front row view of all of this.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so great.
[SPEAKER_00]: Peter goes, So I don't know if it was made clear to you, but Lisa let you go today.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I don't know why you're still here.
[SPEAKER_01]: And James was like, oh, well, I took it up on myself to call Natalie.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I just did that and I came in and worked.
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, and I love also that James doesn't say that Natalie gave him his job.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, he just has the decalled Natalie.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, whatever that means.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Peter's like, well, you are fired.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you got to go.
[SPEAKER_01]: You got to go Lisa wants you gone.
[SPEAKER_00]: And James was like, all right, yeah, sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's like, he's so funny because he waits until after he clocks out.
[SPEAKER_00]: But he goes in, he clocks out.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, bye, says it to someone who's standing next to him.
[SPEAKER_00]: And she's like, what are you doing?
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, I got fired, leaves.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then he immediately walks out, rips a sig.
[SPEAKER_00]: And goes, you know, you've always had a fucking problem with me ever since I started dating Kristen.
[SPEAKER_00]: But, you know, he completely like juggle high does.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so awesome.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so funny watching this argument with Peter because I'm like, this is honestly the most tame argument that James never have.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't picture later season james reacting this way.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, it actually is a Shocking to me this is the same person.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like so low key and like level headed and it's actually like there were moments in this episode specifically where I was like I'm like really agreeing with james kind of like, no, I'm like, whoa, what's going on at this where he's like, he's like I don't think you really like me, bro He's like, yeah, you know, I get it your Tom's boy at all, but
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to level with you, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think you really like me, and you know what?
[SPEAKER_00]: That's fine.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna leave, but like, ultimately, I'm getting my job back here.
[SPEAKER_01]: James was like, listen, you know that I worked my ass on.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know that everyone else is stolen way more than I have than a glass of sangria.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm still in anything, and Peter's like, you put his pocket in it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You've stolen pictures of sangria, and I'm talking head.
[SPEAKER_00]: James was like, maybe I have stolen drinks.
[SPEAKER_01]: but still not that big of a deal.
[SPEAKER_01]: But whatever, babe, whatever, whatever.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's coming all the way in it.
[SPEAKER_01]: What's nothing.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just a little bit of sangria.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's sangria here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here,
[SPEAKER_00]: And Peter basically is like, hey man, this is all bullshit.
[SPEAKER_00]: You got to leave and James in his talking head as he's leaving He's like honestly I can't believe that I got fired for a fight.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't even start and it's like I know it's true It sucks that actually yeah, like also I'll say this I don't think James was totally wrong for saying that Peter had beef with him just because he started dating Kristen Yeah
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think, I don't disagree, yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't disagree, okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: So Boof, we're back at pump.
[SPEAKER_01]: Stasi walks up to the bar that Schwartz is working at and she tries to order a pump to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's for us as like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's like really complicated.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
[SPEAKER_00]: I have another cookie in so long.
[SPEAKER_01]: And he's like, you know, fuck, like I don't have raspberries.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like I'm just like going out of my element.
[SPEAKER_01]: Ah!
[SPEAKER_01]: So she's like, okay, I'll take a pomp teeny.
[SPEAKER_01]: He hits her with a pomp and ran a margarita cause of the day.
[SPEAKER_00]: He literally is like, he says the sausage.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, I don't usually work.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
[SPEAKER_00]: Cut out for this whole work, then.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry, does that mean that Katie has been footing his bill for four years?
[SPEAKER_01]: I fear that is what it means.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I, in my head, I hear.
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you mean, what do you fucking mean for it?
[SPEAKER_00]: How are you even doing that?
[SPEAKER_00]: How are you guys living?
[SPEAKER_00]: How are you so like what does he offer?
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: What?
[SPEAKER_00]: No offense.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, but right.
[SPEAKER_01]: What does he offer?
[SPEAKER_01]: Because it's not a crazy awesome sex life It's not the sex life.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not like emotional intelligence and like a great conversation.
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's not contributing financially No, what is it?
[SPEAKER_00]: What is he bringing into the table?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like what what does he have that's making you want to stay with this man and fund his lifestyle for years up He can't even make a good cocktail.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's just a little goofy.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's a nasty guy.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what's getting him has goofy guy got in him four years of your time Chuckle fucking that can't be right, but you're not even fucking the chuckle fucker Right, so what are we doing?
[SPEAKER_00]: Chocolate dating?
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh no.
[SPEAKER_00]: Go to an improv show for gods.
[SPEAKER_00]: Say, one improv, good of some.
[SPEAKER_00]: One singular improv could have saved Katie Maloney Katie Maloney.
[SPEAKER_01]: I beg you to go to a UCB class There are 1,000 Tom Schwarzen's at a UCB class and they're all so much horny or than he is Also like to say this out loud while he's being recorded on our show leads me to believe that he does not feel shame about this He doesn't so nobody has made him feel like this is weird imagine
[SPEAKER_01]: Imagine if the book if you give a mouse a cookie was about a mouse living in your house for four years I think we should write this book and we should send him the first copy We start making children's books for Vanderpump rules fans children if you give a Schwartz an allowance Yeah, these are the good stories
[SPEAKER_01]: Aussie Maddie and Meg just want to impart some wisdom on you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Come on, it's us setting a prime of bunch of kindergartners.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now here's the thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: He didn't even fuck good.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you would believe it, we're holding up, we're holding up, it says, it's as like censored, but he's out of the censor bar fully clothed.
[SPEAKER_00]: Didn't even fuck it at all.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's not going to be much to you guys now, but that's a really big part of being with somebody when you're totally.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, and here's another thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: He wasn't even rich, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: Nothing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And anyone here rich?
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyone here rich?
[SPEAKER_00]: This is when we're pointing to the kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: And here, I got my mom gave me a $2 bill.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's keep an eye on that kid.
[SPEAKER_00]: We put a hat out for tips.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ha ha ha ha ha.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Perfect.
[SPEAKER_00]: We bring shorts.
[SPEAKER_00]: He reads the books to all of them.
[SPEAKER_00]: They love us.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, he's our PA now, so.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, right.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're also very short.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a production assist.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, I guess we didn't talk about it on this podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: We talked about it on over on the emotionally online podcast, but one of the things that we would like to do is hire Tom Schwartz is our production assistant for one thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's our dream.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, short short.
[SPEAKER_00]: We want to play you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Come on, Schwartz.
[SPEAKER_01]: We know Matthew's tough.
[SPEAKER_01]: We want to make you the most of
[SPEAKER_00]: employed man in America for one singular day we know that print modeling is your bread and butter yes yes yes but that said you know when times are tough when the purse strings are running a little tight you know you got to pick up a gig everyone's watching shorts you could do great in production we are not going to make you make a cocktail no no no no no unless we need one unless we
[SPEAKER_01]: Unless we need a pump teeny, yeah, like medically, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Which I might.
[SPEAKER_01]: We don't know what could happen.
[SPEAKER_01]: Schwartz has to give us IVs of pump tini's.
[SPEAKER_01]: You just see him like putting an IV in me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, like thanks.
[SPEAKER_01]: Schwartz and scrubs.
[SPEAKER_00]: His hand shaking.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's honestly so funny.
[SPEAKER_00]: Schwartz, please, we could make magic together.
[SPEAKER_00]: We could make magic.
[SPEAKER_00]: Come on.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so Booth, there is a really brief scene of Kristen going over to her friend Trevor's house to do Moitai.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't need to know anything about this scene other than keep this in your mind for later.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Trevor comes back.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so beef.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're at baseball world and Tom and Ariana are at the batting cages.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Tom sucks.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's so bad at hitting the balls in the batting cages.
[SPEAKER_00]: He says when talking head that he played baseball quote up until sixth grade, which means that he played baseball until he was 10.
[SPEAKER_01]: They love.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're jealous.
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, we need to start saying more shit like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Tom and Ariana stop playing baseball because Tom is horrible at it and they're sitting at a picnic table.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they're talking about...
[SPEAKER_00]: how Kristen is, quote, Hounding Tom to get her stuff back.
[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, there's a big thing about the cable box, which is that like it was purchased under Kristen's name, but then they transferred the account and like billing over to Tom, but it's still under Kristen's name and still under her social security number, so technically it's still Kristen's.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Ariana's just listening to Tom being like, you're an idiot for that.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's like the worst thing you could have done.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Tom, like, I know, that's stupid or whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Ariana is basically like, listen, if there's any way for Kristen, like, fuck your shit up and make your day harder, she's going to do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Ariana, we're starting to see kind of the seeds of what happens a lot in the season, which is Ariana's retaliation against all the shit that Kristen put her through in season two.
[SPEAKER_00]: And she's getting nasty with it because here's the thing about Ariana is that she is smarter than most of the people on the show So she can be meaner.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, definitely and she calls Kristen human spam that she tries to unsubscribe from and then gets a notification that she's unsubscribed from them Which is just kind of iconic
[SPEAKER_00]: And Tom's like, I know, I know, but like, I just have to deal with it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I just have to, we just have to like meet up and I'll give her her stuff back and whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Ariana's like, all right, well, fine.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I think she's just like honestly feeling similar to James Kennedy being like, I just want you guys both to be the one that's fine.
[SPEAKER_01]: We need to just be done with this and whatever.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: But like, why are they both so incompetent?
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the thing is it's like, I don't
[SPEAKER_00]: It would make more sense if this was like saucy that had this issue because she's the younger.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because this to me is like kind of basic shit that you just like learn in your younger where it's like, oh fuck, like, you don't think about like the cable box.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Until you have to buy your own cable box or like fuck, I got to like turn the gas on in my own apartment, which I didn't think about doing because it's like, you know, whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is my first apartment or whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Paul and Kristen are in their 30s right this we got it just Is it has to be more why are you so you streamline to me?
[SPEAKER_00]: How are you not dead yet?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: What?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, it's a boof.
[SPEAKER_00]: So boof.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're at Stasi's new apartment and I'll tell you what.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is also a useless thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they're just like
[SPEAKER_00]: having bloody marries.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's having bloody marries and like touring her apartment.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Stasi basically is just like, I'm in a new phase of my life.
[SPEAKER_01]: And they make some more jokes about how sports and Katie never have sex.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_01]: In terms of like, we'll do that later, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: And Katie means like, no, no.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're in Sernel.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Lisa and Peter are chatting.
[SPEAKER_00]: Gotta make some updates on Pong.
[SPEAKER_00]: Can I just say the way this scene opens?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so funny.
[SPEAKER_00]: Similar to the leggings from last week's episode, someone Peter standing at the bar, someone taps Peter on the shoulder and he goes, what?
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, the guy just keeps walking.
[SPEAKER_00]: Peter turns to the bartender and is like, I can't stand some of the people here, man.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're so touchy-feely, you know?
[SPEAKER_01]: He's just like overstimulated.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's stimming out as like a whole lot.
[SPEAKER_01]: I just kind of crash out really quick because someone just poked me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love Peter.
[SPEAKER_00]: God Peter is all love.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now Peter, we love you.
[SPEAKER_01]: So Lisa and Peter are chatting, getting some updates on how the pump opening went, and then James walks in, and Lisa's like, what are you doing here, and James is wearing his like a apology card again?
[SPEAKER_00]: He really does, I mean, he's like voice is shaking, his eyes are all watering, he's like, um, Lisa, I was just wondering if, um, maybe that we could, um, like, maybe we could have a conversation, like, um, I wrote you letter, and I'm just wondering if maybe like, you would read Lisa, and Lisa's like, you should have given me advanced notice, did you want to have a conversation with me?
[SPEAKER_01]: So, of course, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just wondering if maybe you would read my letter and give me a minute to read my letter today.
[SPEAKER_01]: And at least it's like fine fine sit down and cut to a confessional of James or he's like you know it's it's typical in England to write people apology laws.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's exactly what I've done here.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love the idea of James's accent changing every time depending on how he's acting.
[SPEAKER_00]: When he's more rowdy it's so cocky and then when he's trying to like make a men's he's like very posh.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's actually quite typical to write someone a letter based on when you have to apologise and in my opinion, Jackson Tom have probably never picked up a pen in their life.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Lisa opens up this conversation with James by being like, you know, I really did you a favor by letting you work here because I met your mother once It is she's like, she's like, you know, James always likes to say that we're family friends, but we're not She's like, I don't know that bitch She's been saying she knows me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know her.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's walking around town after like she knows me I wouldn't know a thing if I crossed her in the street
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know that mother fucker at all!
[SPEAKER_00]: And James is like, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so, so sorry about what happened at Mixology this week on Bridgetin.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not why I am.
[SPEAKER_01]: I deeply regret it, and I love me, Job.
[SPEAKER_02]: Please, I need me, Job, and I love me, Job.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sorry to any British people who are listening to the podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, it's all live.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's all love.
[SPEAKER_00]: I need you to know that and like know that if James is like a good person, we wouldn't be mocking him.
[SPEAKER_00]: I still would.
[SPEAKER_00]: I probably would.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is my right isn't American to make fun of British people.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you're right, honestly, you're saying, I don't think fun is going to be true.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just know that like there's at least one British person living living like these fuckers are so bad.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's fine.
[SPEAKER_01]: You guys might take our accent.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: That absolutely go for it.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, it's not me with that Please I need me job and in me job is like, I know that drinking at work is wrong Very very wrong I will never do it again I'll never do it again I hope you can accept my apology and maybe put me on a trial period or something
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I'd love a trial.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just give James Kennedy no trial.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love one.
[SPEAKER_00]: I honestly feel like my brain is shrinking.
[SPEAKER_02]: James Kennedy.
[SPEAKER_02]: You just love sincerely.
[SPEAKER_02]: All love.
[SPEAKER_02]: Little little me.
[SPEAKER_02]: James Kennedy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm tears of my eye.
[SPEAKER_02]: Please, please, please, please.
[SPEAKER_02]: Give it a thank you.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I literally honestly, I'm a missionary thinking, will we record these podcasts?
[SPEAKER_01]: Fucking 50% of the show is us laughing.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think I've ever listened to a podcast where the hosts laugh with themselves and just, we laugh in our soul.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, we run.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't really agree.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, God.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh my God, please, please, please, please, please, please, please give it a thank.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Lisa's basically like, you know, James usually has a very arrogant attitude, but now he seems to be quite sincere.
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, I will give it a think.
[SPEAKER_01]: In James' like, I've made relationships here.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's really important I stay at Sir and not move to another restaurant.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Lisa's like, but the right one, James.
[SPEAKER_00]: The right ones.
[SPEAKER_00]: You think you're, you're, you're thinking you're in in good companies.
[SPEAKER_00]: Should we reflect on some of these relationships you speak of?
[SPEAKER_01]: Lisa like give me the app.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd like to put in me archives.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna think about it James James is like James is like of course of course my lady Of course Please he's like he's like he's like curtsying with his card again of course
[SPEAKER_00]: ever my lady wants.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm lame to get.
[SPEAKER_00]: Of course, bibles.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I mean, lacer.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had about 10 in it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I didn't think about the, like, how fun it is to, like, watch Lisa and James be so British with each other.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, it really is awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: So awesome.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, God, it only gets better.
[SPEAKER_01]: Literally the Lisa James scenes throughout the seasons are some of my favorites.
[SPEAKER_00]: We've got a few that already.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know we're going to be reading word for word.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Completely.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, my God.
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, so BOOF!
[SPEAKER_01]: We're at Tom's Indies place, and him and Ariana are building things.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yup.
[SPEAKER_01]: Kristen sends him a text, mid-Build.
[SPEAKER_01]: Crack, iPhone reveal.
[SPEAKER_01]: So Crack.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's really Cracked, yup.
[SPEAKER_01]: And also, I want to see what Kristen's full name in his phone is, because you could see her contact name was KristenMy.dot.dot.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, is it going to be like something romantic that he has to change?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, or is it like, Kristen, my enemy?
[SPEAKER_01]: Enemy.
[SPEAKER_01]: My friend.
[SPEAKER_00]: And my, so my enemy.
[SPEAKER_01]: My, what, what is after the my?
[SPEAKER_01]: Interesting.
[SPEAKER_00]: Interesting.
[SPEAKER_01]: But she texted him and is like, hi.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm nearby.
[SPEAKER_01]: Can I swing by the apartment and grab my stuff?
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Ariana's like, after she laid hands on you and Schwartz, I'm not going to be comfortable on any kind of situation around her.
[SPEAKER_01]: which is like moderately ironic given the fact that Tom Sandball has gotten in many physical fights, including the one just referenced that he started right.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's interesting.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's just put a pin in that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Tom's like no, baby, I totally understand.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Kristen knocks on the door.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know immediately is like so awkward.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's like, hey, she basically just like stands on the doorway.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's like, she's like, um, well She's like Marcus you ever seen Marcus who the fuck is Marcus love Marcus
[SPEAKER_00]: Marcus is so awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like a humanoid shrimp, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: No, right.
[SPEAKER_00]: That I believe is like part of a, it's like a in Sims.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can like build different things and someone built some sort of big humanoid shrimp.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he just follows this other guy in Sims named Robert around and kind of like crash through the door and be like, I'd be like Robert.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I have to you man.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you see I didn't know that that was his name his name is Marcus I know they shouldn't he'll be like I am now a citizen of the people's Republic of China Just like walk around That's what Kristen is doing.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's standing in the door Marcus style.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm pretty much She's like so do you want me to come in?
[SPEAKER_00]: What does she do
[SPEAKER_00]: Just come on, that was fine.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it was fine.
[SPEAKER_01]: She immediately starts just like rustling through papers.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like giving her forms, whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's like, okay, I like the cable.
[SPEAKER_00]: I need the cable, okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, oh, I don't, I don't, I just don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, I have to return the equipment and you need to get your own.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the only way we have to break the ties.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Tom's like,
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, there's a lot of stuff on the DVR that I want to watch.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but I like recorded family feud on DVR and I haven't got to watch it yet, so.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're just in like really freaking funny episodes of the family guy on there.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I like was really hoping to watch that tonight.
[SPEAKER_00]: The thing is, I just know that there's an episode on there where like Peter and that big chicken get into a fight.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's just like you just know that those episodes are so freaking funny because like the fight just goes out there.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, in like episodes.
[SPEAKER_01]: It only happens once in a blue moon.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's really special that we get to see something like that on television.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just, I was, I was watching TBS and they said that that episode was going to be on later.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I just, I made a point to record it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And now just the thought of it all going away.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just like, what am I even working for, you know?
[SPEAKER_01]: And Chris is like, it's better for the both of us if I take it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then she starts crying.
[SPEAKER_00]: This little episode is so awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's like, I just want the shit to be over.
[SPEAKER_00]: Please.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's like, we, Vreme, do not have to be friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know that we do not all have to be friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is just too much.
[SPEAKER_00]: Please let me move on and Tom's like, okay, well, I've moved on like I've moved on I just I just want you to stop involving yourself in my life Kristen goes Listen Tom like I've changed like people change when they're happy and Tom goes you don't like happy right now Kristen's like well being in here makes me upset so
[SPEAKER_00]: And Tom's like, well, feeling awkward isn't the same as being happy or being sad.
[SPEAKER_00]: So they start fighting and Kristen is basically like, please don't be hateful.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, this is really hard.
[SPEAKER_00]: And she turns to Ariana.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's like, Ariana, I don't hate you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just spent three years being jealous over something that ended up being true.
[SPEAKER_00]: He cheated on me with you.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Tom's like, that wasn't true.
[SPEAKER_01]: It literally was tall.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is tall.
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
[SPEAKER_01]: What's the point in lying at this point?
[SPEAKER_01]: We all know.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: We all know.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Kristen's like, I'm sorry, it took me longer to get over this than it did you.
[SPEAKER_00]: And in the talking head, God Christ, in the talking head, she's so amazing.
[SPEAKER_00]: She goes, I thought going to Tom's apartment would bring the closure, but I'm always gonna love Tom.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I'll probably be married with children one day and still think about him.
[SPEAKER_01]: You couldn't waterboard that sentence out of me on camera.
[SPEAKER_01]: No matter how hard you try, even if I did feel that way, I would never admit that on camera so that he could know that, that he could know I felt that way.
[SPEAKER_01]: If I felt that way, I would take it to my grave and tell like, my best friend, yes, maybe, maybe.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's, no way, I would say that to a camera.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's also just like, Kristen,
[SPEAKER_00]: know you won't, you just won't love Tom for the rest of the life.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is like something that a 16 year old says, how are you like in your 30s thinking that that's still how this works?
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then Kristen walks out of the apartment with her big Ikea bag full of shit, sniffling.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Tom and Ariana have an interaction that is truly among some of my least favorite.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep, of all time.
[SPEAKER_01]: I would agree.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like one of my least favorite sentences that anyone has ever said ever in the world.
[SPEAKER_01]: I actually made a note that just says, Yuck.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's, you actually have to be so evil to say this sentence.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't care how much you hate Kristen.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it's a weird fucking thing to say.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is.
[SPEAKER_01]: Tom looks at Ariana and he's like, I feel bad that she's sad, but he kind of shrugs and Ariana's like, you haven't seen her cry long enough.
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't annoy you anymore.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then he goes,
[SPEAKER_01]: Look, it like it actually is so weird.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so weird.
[SPEAKER_01]: That would have given me the ache if I was Ariana.
[SPEAKER_01]: I actually don't, there are so many things that Tom doesn't says that it dumb founds me that Ariana is not bothered by it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: But there's actually no need to gloat after you just watched your ex girlfriend crying about how difficult this was.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't care how much you hate her.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's really weird.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, it to me also just confirms that like so much of Ariana and Tom's initial relationship was built off of like we're different than yeah than how it was with Kristen.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, which is just feels so fraudulent.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, so what are you trying to convince me of?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it also is so weird to me because it's really putting in perspective for me just now, like, whoa, Tom and Kristen broke up no time went by and then he and Ariana started dating.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Tom was in a relationship for five years and then he immediately was in another relationship for seven years.
[SPEAKER_00]: Weird.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's crazy.
[SPEAKER_00]: And also Ariana, why, why would you want that?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And also like when he acts like this, this is Tom's way of getting revenge against Kristen.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: The same way that Kristen dives deep into Miami girl to get revenge on Tom, Tom does the same thing to Kristen.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: In how he chooses to treat her and behave around her with Ariana.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_01]: I just, I'm sick of Tom acting like he and Kristen aren't exactly the same.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it should be a true neutral ground, I agree.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't understand why Ariana doesn't at least see that from the outside a little bit.
[SPEAKER_01]: She can hate Kristen for her own separate personal reasons, but looking at Tom versus Kristen, she should know that they've both done the same exact thing to each other and they're continuing to do the same exact thing to each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: that give you pause if you write in a relationship with that guy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like imagine watching your partner act that way towards a former partner of his.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's true.
[SPEAKER_00]: That scares me.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's scary.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's really scary.
[SPEAKER_00]: I agree because it's like, oh, he is capable of that behavior.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's just not doing it to you yet insane insane.
[SPEAKER_00]: And as Kristen leaves, there's like a shot of her walking away from Tom's apartment.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's like, just struggling with all of her giant bags.
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's a song that starts playing, which is like, starting over, starting over,
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, that's the end of the episode.
[SPEAKER_01]: What can we say about that?
[SPEAKER_01]: Frick is shorts going to be employed by next week to be determined.
[SPEAKER_01]: You'll just have to come back and find out.
[SPEAKER_00]: Next week.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think you guys so much for watching.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you'd like to sport our merch, you can go to emotionanline.shop and support the show.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can follow the podcast at Pumpcast Rules on Instagram and TikTok.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can follow me at Maddie Drawsback.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can follow me at Meg Roko.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we will see you guys next week.
[SPEAKER_01]: Me!