[SPEAKER_00]: Hello, welcome to it's either going to be the I don't give up podcast or we're gonna say that I don't gaff podcast, which Honestly, I'm liking that option a little bit better.
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back or welcome to the I don't gaff podcast I am we're host on eB First of all, hi guys.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know it's been a very long time since we've chatted on a microphone and I just want to say that I am truly so grateful and so stoked that so many people love
[SPEAKER_00]: the podcast that I've had in flow and for everything down the line you guys like I truly for a second was like maybe I'll just never do it again, but you never failed to be on my ass about it and tell me how badly I need to get back to it.
[SPEAKER_00]: So
[SPEAKER_00]: Because of your constant persistence, I am back, and I'm really grateful for that, because truly I think that the podcast is really helpful for me and really healing for me, and like just shocking certain things out, makes me feel really good.
[SPEAKER_00]: So anyway, obviously, a new look, new feel, new name.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm excited to talk to you guys about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Also new location, I've moved into quite literally my dream home in the last, I've been here for like,
[SPEAKER_00]: six months or something and I love my house.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have a beauty room.
[SPEAKER_00]: A beauty film room.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's where we're at right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: I am so like I just have so many things to say.
[SPEAKER_00]: First of all, let's talk about this new podcast that I don't gaff podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: Where did this even come from?
[SPEAKER_00]: Where did the name even come from?
[SPEAKER_00]: What am I even doing?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, you guys know, I used to have a podcast, which I mean, I guess she's still here.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're on right now,
[SPEAKER_00]: which was its own thing, and it was a beautiful thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I definitely felt this like sense of pressure with that podcast and with that specific brand, because it started off really...
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, it felt like more serious for me and like it was just so value driven and I will never not be able to not like spit was them you guys I truly feel that but like I also think that there was just a lot of pressure for me to show up and like be my best self all the time and always
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, it just felt like I needed to have everything together all the time.
[SPEAKER_00]: And even though nobody made me feel you guys never made me feel that way, I made myself feel that way and I felt like it was so authoritative that I needed to have.
[SPEAKER_00]: Authority all the time.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I don't know.
[SPEAKER_00]: So anyways, long to be sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: I needed a cute little rebrand and I think for me the feeling of not giving a frick Like and became so important because I Used to care so much like I need a look good for the video for the clips like I need to do my makeup Do my hair like put on a cute outfit.
[SPEAKER_00]: I need to always be buttoned up and like I just don't gaff anymore guys.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just don't like at this point I'm exactly who I am.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna show up exactly how I look
[SPEAKER_00]: and like I just was taking meetings and I'm about to go to the gym after this so if you think I'm gonna put on a full face and make up like I'm not gonna just not gonna happen and I don't care like I think that that's what's important and I think that's the message that I
[SPEAKER_00]: want to share now is just that like it is so cool to be exactly what you are and that is what makes you so fucking cool like I don't know how else to say it so anyways that's kind of my thoughts behind this podcast and also I just was praying for the name for a long time because I knew I wanted to rebrand I didn't know what I wanted it to be I was going in a completely different direction and it didn't sit right with me I was like about to name it something else and it felt
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, even more buttoned up in professional and like.
[SPEAKER_00]: It just was, I was feeling like unattracted to it.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was praying about it, and literally, I was like, God, please, just help me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Give me the name, just a lot to feel good.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just wanna like, stop overthinking this and just do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just wanna do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just wanna be on the mic.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't wanna any pressure.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just wanna be able to show up exactly how I am, and that'd be that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then this name came to me instantly.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't even think about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just started changing all of my,
[SPEAKER_00]: Like my user names and my email, like I just started like making moves on the name instantly and then it just worked out.
[SPEAKER_00]: So here we are.
[SPEAKER_00]: I literally announced this new podcast new name.
[SPEAKER_00]: 15 minutes after it came into my head.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that is just the vibe.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's just where I'm at right now in life and I think that I'm just starting to trust my intuition and Just really like come back to my roots and I think one of the biggest ways that I've Don't know is just asking myself like what would the smaller version of me like like what does little on you think Is cool and like that is now the thing that I think is cool and
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, anyways.
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, that's the spiel on what we're doing here, what the vibe is, what it's gonna be like from here on out.
[SPEAKER_00]: This first episode is just gonna be about me talking about the concept of not giving a fuck anymore to be honest, like how to start giving a fuck less because to me, like I said in the beginning,
[SPEAKER_00]: that's just kind of been the overarching theme in my life recently and that goes for absolutely everything like it goes for confidence how I stopped caring so much about whether people thought about me or like comparing myself and having a job on social media like that is a massive thing that you care about even if you don't want to like it just happens naturally um so that aspect also
[SPEAKER_00]: just having less seriousness like not everything is that deep and I feel like I started to create this like performative nature when it came to how I was podcasting before like obviously I was always authentic and real but they're also was this part of me that felt like I needed to deliver something every single time and that's just not always the case.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes we just want to turn on a podcast and listen something that we love talk about literally nothing and that's okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that I just wanted to create that space where I feel comfortable to do that for myself, but where you don't always have to feel like you're tapping into some crazy self-help podcast all the time.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I know for me when I'm not feeling good.
[SPEAKER_00]: The last thing I want to do is to click on a podcast that's like,
[SPEAKER_00]: Ten ways to start changing your life right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like sometimes I'm just not interested in hearing that so But also like at the same time on the same coin like I'm also not interested in Consuming all this gossip and drama and like BS because that doesn't make me feel better either.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes I just want to like have an approachable digestible like Conversation or listen to something that's not going to make me feel worse, but it's not necessarily going to make me feel like I need to get up and like do a million things.
[SPEAKER_00]: So
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways that is that is everything.
[SPEAKER_00]: I need to take a breath because I have not talked this much in a really long time.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's been you guys like a year I think since my last podcast episode I don't even know.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um but yeah so I think I just want to kick this off by talking about how to not give a fuck anymore and um
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, wherever that takes us, whatever comes out, like I'm just going to let it free flow and I haven't prepared anything, I never prepare anything for these episodes, I'd really just like to sit and talk.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, but yeah, how to not give a fuck about anything anymore.
[SPEAKER_00]: And like I don't want that to sound negative because for me, like the way that it works is like I'm a cancer, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm a very sensitive, very emotional, heavily overthinking human being.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that I have created this, this issue where I can think about an issue.
[SPEAKER_00]: This issue where I can think about an issue nice.
[SPEAKER_00]: This problem where I can think about an issue for literally a million years, and I can overthink it and give it so much energy when at the end of the day, like, it shouldn't matter to me in the slightest.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, at all.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so let's talk about how to gaff less essentially.
[SPEAKER_00]: As I became a creator full time, like, I feel like that really messed up my head because I used to always not gaff ever.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I think truly that mindset is what got me
[SPEAKER_00]: The place that I am right now because I just truly thought I was the coolest person ever like I truly truly Really believed that I was close person ever and I just loved myself I loved my compassionate love my empathy I loved how much I loved and cared for others and I really just thought I was so awesome And then as I should have doing social media like obviously as a bright product of that You can pay yourself to others number one you can pay yourself to like
[SPEAKER_00]: how well people are liking you like it's just a really weird combination and I think I started becoming self-conscious and just started giving a flip so much about other people thought about me like I really started carrying a lot about it and then as I moved into this house I feel like as I moved into here things started excuse me really shifting for me and I realized like
[SPEAKER_00]: What am I doing?
[SPEAKER_00]: The more that I'm conforming to what other people want of me, like that is so boring.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was just becoming so boring and I was just feeling myself like losing my spark, man.
[SPEAKER_00]: I really was feeling that way.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was just like, it was embarrassing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was embarrassed.
[SPEAKER_00]: How am I gonna not,
[SPEAKER_00]: love what I love proudly and think what I think is cool proudly like how am I going to like hide myself that's so weird bro like that is so weird that's just like not me at all so one of the things that like was a huge I guess just like profound thought that I had one day or just like that I realized was whatever little awning thinks is cool is what's cool and whatever I think is cool
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, that's what's gonna make me unique.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what's gonna make me stand out.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right now, even as I consume social media, like obviously I scroll and stuff.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I am so not interested in the same video a million times.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like if I've seen this video with the same font and the same concept, the same trend.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm not interested in watching yours.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've already seen it.
[SPEAKER_00]: So for me, like, that idea that concept made me realize, like, I'm craving a virginality as a consumer.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I could only imagine.
[SPEAKER_00]: That that's how everyone else is feeling like I just want to feel like I'm talking to someone real and authentic and like I just also want to be real and authentic I want to show up exactly how I am Regardless of how my skin looks regardless of how my hair looks regardless of my outfit like I just want to be exactly what I am at all times And I want to love what I love like before I used to go shopping for example I think like oh, does this really match my vibe like is this really something that I
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, is this cute or do I just think it's cute?
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's not actually cute to everyone else.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, what in the world is even that?
[SPEAKER_00]: If I like it, then I'll get it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, that's it.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you like something, and you think it's cool, that is what makes you cool.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and if nobody else thought that that specific thing was cool, that makes you cooler to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I just think to have an outsider perspective on things that's not like everyone else.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, that is just,
[SPEAKER_00]: The most fire thing ever, like I just, I love it.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think just tapping more into that has just helped me gaffless.
[SPEAKER_00]: to be honest, and when I'm saying gaffless, I'm saying like I don't give a fuck, like I don't gaff.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I give a fuck less.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, and yeah, so that's been a huge thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I feel like I really started going away from colors as I got older and like not feeling super drawn to them.
[SPEAKER_00]: But when I was younger, girl, I was a colorful ass be and I always love color.
[SPEAKER_00]: All of the place I was always drawing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was always painting.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was always journaling.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I loved being creative.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, and yeah, I just like fell out of all of those things.
[SPEAKER_00]: I should have just like doubt my, out my creative ability or something along the lines of that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so now I just feel like the more creative I am, the more I learn about myself and what I like and don't like, and that just makes me cooler.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it just makes me more unique and more exciting and like, even if like, I don't even care what other people think about me if they think I'm cool if they think I'm not, it doesn't even matter.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because at the end of the day, if I think I'm the coolest person ever, like, I'm going to have a great life.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to feel good all the time.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to be confident all the time and like, that is so important.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because if you are sitting in a place of insecurity and doubt and self-consciousness, like you will never reach max fulfillment in my opinion.
[SPEAKER_00]: So anyways, that was kind of like the first big break through that I had in terms of like,
[SPEAKER_00]: start starting to care less about what other people thought and just in general, but another thing about that like can be perfectly tied into a relationship.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know where you guys are out in your life or what you're doing right now, but me, I'm in a relationship.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been in this, well, well,
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been in this specific relationship for almost two years, and I love my man, he's the best, and something that I've learned about giving an F-less has really helped translate into my relationship, because I think for a while, as I was struggling with my own confidence and stuff, it was really bleeding into my relationship, and I was starting to care about little things that
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm really blessed.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have a really, really good, faithful man and my man also is obsessed with me and he makes me feel more confident.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I've always admired that about him.
[SPEAKER_00]: The way that he talks about me, the way that he talks to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: He really makes me feel so good and so confident.
[SPEAKER_00]: And even just the way he looks at me, it's like, he makes me feel my best.
[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, I was just always like tripping on things that were just like so nothing and genuinely the moment that I started feeling more confident in myself and just like try to focus on
[SPEAKER_00]: Liking myself again, okay, like I stopped caring about all these things.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like none of it mattered to me anymore.
[SPEAKER_00]: I truly was just like I don't gaff.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I don't gaff.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know who you are.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know what you do.
[SPEAKER_00]: You've never done anything wrong to me before you've never done anything shady before you've never given me any reason to think anything negative.
[SPEAKER_00]: So why am I gonna create like a whole scenario in my head?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it's just bullshit.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's literally just me fighting myself.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you're not doing anything.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that was really helpful.
[SPEAKER_00]: And like obviously that made the quality of relationship like so much better.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you know what else?
[SPEAKER_00]: I think something that we all should start caring less about is getting to the next spot in our lives.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a huge thing that I've learned recently.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like a lot of us, we always say, Oh, well, when I have money, I will whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: or what I get to this next phase of my life when I accomplish this, like it's always about something else.
[SPEAKER_00]: You always put your happiness in the hands of whatever's coming next for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just think that that's a load of bullshit.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just think that's a little fortunate it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I know for a fact that it is because I've experienced it in 10,000 different ways and the biggest one being money.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's probably everyone's biggest thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Once I have money, once I have more money, once I'm rich, once I'm whatever, then all these problems will solve themselves.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I promise you, I promise you, that that's not true.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, money solves problems.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying that money doesn't help problems.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just saying that internally, the feeling of gratitude and fulfillment that you could be having in this moment right now, the fact that you're alive and healthy, and you can't even feel grateful for that.
[SPEAKER_00]: or satisfied enough for that.
[SPEAKER_00]: You will have these problems even when you have money.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because at the end of the day, the more money, the more problems you hear that, and it can totally be a fact.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because at the end of the day, you make more money.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, cool.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, you have a higher rep payment or a higher mortgage, and now you have a different car.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, you have all these things, and then you just create the same problem, but in a bigger scale later in life.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's just the way that you are in your habits and your mindset now are completely
[SPEAKER_00]: going to be the same in the future unless you choose to change them, and I always would say this, like I would always say this to myself, when I have money, XYZ.
[SPEAKER_00]: when I kind of forward this XYZ and then I did it and then I'd get to each different stage financially that I would like aim for and then the problems were still there and then my mental health was actually at its absolute lowest when I started making like serious money and I was like wow I really thought when I was making enough money to like not just survive but be comfortable that all my problems are going to go away and I have more problems I feel worse I feel
[SPEAKER_00]: And I didn't have much fulfillment in my life, honestly.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, all this to say, really try to find fulfillment right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: You guys, I cannot just add enough.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you've been struggling with literally anything at all, like,
[SPEAKER_00]: not only has praying been so helpful for me, but also just trying to disconnect from my phone and just whatever distractions that I have that I've been using to numb myself, like just disconnecting from them and trying to be so grateful for the fact that you have a home, you have food, you have health, like all these things, are the only things that matter, like they are the most important things.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think we obviously forget about that a lot.
[SPEAKER_00]: So,
[SPEAKER_00]: That's another thing that has been hugely helpful for me.
[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, I am a girl that also has so much anxiety.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm always, not always, I'm really not claiming this anymore, but I used to always be so stressed about a million things.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was always stressed about my house, my job, my everything.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I can't even, the list is genuinely everything that you can think of.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, and so any time I find myself overthinking or carrying more about things that I just really don't need to care about, I just say to myself, like I'm literally saying, I don't gaff as my mantra, like I literally don't gaff.
[SPEAKER_00]: If I'm mad about something, I'm gonna go for a fight, I can smell something stupid.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, wait, I don't gaff.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are we fighting?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't know, it's just been really helpful for me to use that and be like, just more, it's just allowing me to like, let go of.
[SPEAKER_00]: the story of stuff like I don't need to create a store.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't need to make something emotional.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it doesn't need to be that deep and important in ruin my day.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like if something is affecting my day, my makeup's not sitting right.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if I'm full confident.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I don't have like I'm just here to enjoy the day.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm just here for the vibes.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't need to look and feel my cutest, my hottest, my sexiest every day.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that's not.
[SPEAKER_00]: Realistic, okay, I like I don't need to, but for me, like, obviously, and we can have an all whole episode on this, I do everything that I can to feel my best, like I take care of my body, and I take care of my mind, and naturally, in a matter of how I'm looking here and what, how am I make up sitting one day?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm gonna feel good regardless, because I'm doing everything I can to be and feel my best.
[SPEAKER_00]: So,
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that is everything that I have to say at this moment for giving an F less and I truly think that this is like going to become
[SPEAKER_00]: It just, it already has become so important to me like this whole idea and I really hope that it resonates with you guys something fun that I wanted to do also is I have all these sticky notes here and I was thinking you guys can let me know in the comments your thoughts on this but I was thinking that we could create like a little mantra or a little like saying after each episode and put it up on this wall because I want to have a wall full of sticky notes I just do and I don't know something about it is like calling to me so
[SPEAKER_00]: what I'm thinking is I can either write it out like we can collectively big okay like this is the saying of this episode or also in the future what we could do is you guys can comment like your little sayings or like what you pulled from this episode and then I can write that and put it on the wall.
[SPEAKER_00]: It'll be like things that you guys make which I think would be really fun too.
[SPEAKER_00]: So let's start now.
[SPEAKER_00]: Alright ladies and gentlemen this is our mantra from this episode.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't
[SPEAKER_00]: And the next time that you find yourself over thinking something stupid, or caring too much about how you look, literally anything, just remind yourself, I don't have to be honest.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, well, like I don't have, and that is what it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, you guys can comment anything else that you took from this or any other little mantra that we should add to the wall and a lot of it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, in terms of episodes you guys, I'm thinking I'm gonna do in every other week thing to start and we'll see how that goes.
[SPEAKER_00]: So thanks for tuning in, thanks for hanging out with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I hope that you guys are excited that the podcast is back.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so excited about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I was a little rusty today, but I'll get back in the swing of it as I do it more obviously.
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, I love you guys, thanks for hanging out with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Remember the mantra, and I will see you next time.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love ya, bye.