[SPEAKER_00]: Hello and welcome to the Sherlock Holmes Bedtime Stories podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: Each episode is a section from a classic Sherlock Holmes story with relaxing music to help you fall asleep.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for joining us this evening.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now it's time to relax.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let your body fall into a comfortable position in your bed and drift gently into a state of total relaxation with tonight's story.
[SPEAKER_00]: His last bow,
[SPEAKER_00]: the war service of Sherlock Holmes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Part one.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was nine o'clock at night upon the second of August, the most terrible August in the history of the world.
[SPEAKER_00]: One might have thought already that God's curse hung heavy over a degenerate world, for there was an awesome hush and a feeling of vague expectancy in the Sultry and stagnant air.
[SPEAKER_00]: The sun had long set, but one blood-red gash like an open wound lay low in the distant west.
[SPEAKER_00]: Above, the stars were shining brightly, and below, the lights of the shipping glimmered in the bay.
[SPEAKER_00]: The two famous Germans stood beside the stone parapet of the garden walk, with the long, low heavily gabled house behind them, and they looked down upon the broad sweep of the beach at the foot of the great chalk cliff in which fond book, like some wandering eagle, had perched himself four years before.
[SPEAKER_00]: They stood with their heads close together, talking in low, confidential tones.
[SPEAKER_00]: From below, the two glowing ends of their cigars might have been the smoldering eyes of some bellignant fiend looking down in the darkness.
[SPEAKER_00]: A remarkable man this fond book, a man who could hardly be matched among all the devoted agents of the Kaiser.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was his talents which had first recommended him for the English mission, the most important mission of all.
[SPEAKER_00]: But since he had taken it over, those talents had become more and more manifest to the half-dozen people in the world who were really in touch with the truth.
[SPEAKER_00]: One of these was his present companion, Baron Von Hurling, the chief secretary of the legation, whose huge 100-horsepower Benz car was blocking the country lane as it waited to waft its owner back to London.
[SPEAKER_00]: So far as I can judge the trend of events, you will probably be back in Berlin within the week, the Secretary was saying.
[SPEAKER_00]: When you get there my dear fond book.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think you will be surprised at the welcome you will receive.
[SPEAKER_00]: I happen to know what is thought in the highest quarters of your work in this country.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was a huge man, the secretary, deep, broad and tall, with a slow, heavy fashion of speech, which had been his main asset in his political career.
[SPEAKER_00]: Von Bork laughed.
[SPEAKER_00]: They are not very hard to deceive, he remarked, a more docile, simple folk could not be imagined.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know about that," said the other thoughtfully.
[SPEAKER_00]: They have strange limits and one must learn to observe them.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is that surface simplicity of theirs which makes a trap for the stranger.
[SPEAKER_00]: One's first impression is that they are entirely soft.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then one comes suddenly upon something very hard, and you know that you have reached the limit and must adapt yourself to the fact.
[SPEAKER_00]: They have, for example, their insular conventions which simply must be observed.
[SPEAKER_00]: Meaning, good form, and that sort of thing?
[SPEAKER_00]: Fondborg side is one who had suffered much.
[SPEAKER_00]: Meaning, British prejudice in all its queer manifestations.
[SPEAKER_00]: As an example, I make quote one of my own worst blunders.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can afford to talk of my blunders for you know my work well enough to be aware of my successes.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was on my first arrival, I was invited to a weekend gathering at the countryhouse of a cabinet minister.
[SPEAKER_00]: The conversation was amazingly in discreet.
[SPEAKER_00]: Von Bork nodded.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been there, said he quietly.
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly, where I naturally sent a resume of the information to Berlin.
[SPEAKER_00]: Unfortunately, our good chancellor is a little heavy-handed in these matters, and he transmitted a remark which showed that he was aware of what had been said.
[SPEAKER_00]: But this of course took the trail straight up to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have no idea the harm that it did me.
[SPEAKER_00]: There was nothing soft about our British hosts on that occasion, I can assure you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was two years living it down.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now you with this sporting pose of yours.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, don't call it a pose.
[SPEAKER_00]: A pose is an artificial thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is quite natural.
[SPEAKER_00]: I am a born sportsman.
[SPEAKER_00]: I enjoy it.
[SPEAKER_00]: But that makes it the more effective, you yacht against them, you hunt with them, you play polo, you match them in every game, your foreign hand takes the prize at Olympia, I have even heard that you go the length of boxing with the young officers.
[SPEAKER_00]: What is the result?
[SPEAKER_00]: Nobody takes you seriously, you are a good old sport, quite a decent fellow for a German, a hard drinking nightclub, knock about town, devil make hair, young fellow.
[SPEAKER_00]: And all the time this quiet country house of yours is the center of half the mischief in England and the sporting squire the most astute secret service man in Europe.
[SPEAKER_00]: Genius.
[SPEAKER_00]: My dear von Bork.
[SPEAKER_00]: Genius.
[SPEAKER_00]: You flatter me, Baron, but certainly I may claim my four years in this country have not been unproductive.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've never shown you my little store.
[SPEAKER_00]: Would you mind stepping in for a moment?
[SPEAKER_00]: The door of the study opened straight onto the terrace.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thonbork pushed it back, and leading the way, he clicked the switch of the electric light.
[SPEAKER_00]: He then closed the door behind the bulky form which followed him and carefully adjusted the heavy curtain over the lattice to window.
[SPEAKER_00]: Only when all these precautions had been taken and tested, did he turn his sunburned, aquilined face to his guest.
[SPEAKER_00]: Some of my papers have gone," said he.
[SPEAKER_00]: When my wife and the household left yesterday for flushing, they took the less important with them.
[SPEAKER_00]: I must of course claim the protection of the embassy for the others.
[SPEAKER_00]: Your name has already been filed as one of the personal suite.
[SPEAKER_00]: There will be no difficulties for you or your baggage.
[SPEAKER_00]: Of course, it is just possible that we may not have to go.
[SPEAKER_00]: England may leave France to her fate.
[SPEAKER_00]: We are sure that there is no binding treaty between them.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Belgium.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes and Belgium too.
[SPEAKER_00]: Von Bork shook his head.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't see how that could be.
[SPEAKER_00]: There is a definite treaty there.
[SPEAKER_00]: She could never recover from such a humiliation.
[SPEAKER_00]: She would at least have peace for the moment.
[SPEAKER_00]: But her honour.
[SPEAKER_00]: Tart my dear sir, we live in a utilitarian age.
[SPEAKER_00]: Honour is a medieval conception.
[SPEAKER_00]: Besides England is not ready, it is an inconceivable thing but even our special war tax of 50 million, which one would think made our purposes clear as if we had advertised it on the front page of the Times, has not roused these people from their slumbers.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here and there one here's a question.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is my business to find an answer.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here and there also there is an irritation, it is my business to sue it.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I can assure you that so far as the essentials go, the storage of munitions, the preparation for submarine attack, the arrangements for making high explosives, nothing is prepared.
[SPEAKER_00]: How then can England come in, especially when we have stirred her up such a devil's brew of Irish civil war, window breaking furries, and God knows what to keep her thoughts at home?
[SPEAKER_00]: She must think of her future.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ah, that is another matter.
[SPEAKER_00]: I fancy that in the future we have our own very definite plans about England and that your information will be very vital to us.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is today or tomorrow with Mr. John Bull.
[SPEAKER_00]: If he prefers to day we are perfectly ready.
[SPEAKER_00]: If it is tomorrow we shall be more ready still.
[SPEAKER_00]: I should think they would be wise at a fight with allies than without them but that is their own affair.
[SPEAKER_00]: This week is their week of destiny.
[SPEAKER_00]: But you were
[SPEAKER_00]: He sat in the armchair with the light shining upon his broad bald head, while he puffed sedately at his cigar.
[SPEAKER_00]: The large oak paneled bookline room had a curtain hung in the further corner.
[SPEAKER_00]: When this was drawn, it disclosed a large brass bound safe.
[SPEAKER_00]: Von Bork detached a small key from his watch chain, and after some considerable manipulation
[SPEAKER_00]: Look, said he standing clear with a wave of his hand.
[SPEAKER_00]: The light shone vividly into the open safe, and the secretary of the embassy gazed with an absorbed interest at the rows of stuffed pigeonholes with which it was furnished.
[SPEAKER_00]: Each pigeonhole had its label and his eyes as he glanced along them read a long series of such titles as Fords, harbour defenses, aeroplanes, island, Egypt, portsmouth Fords, the channel, Rosith, and a score of others.
[SPEAKER_00]: Each compartment was bristling with papers and plans.
[SPEAKER_00]: Colossal said the Secretary,
[SPEAKER_00]: Putting down his cigar, he softly clapped his fat hands.
[SPEAKER_00]: And all in four years, Baron, not such a bad show for the hard drinking hard-riding country square, but the gem of my collection is coming, and there is the setting already for it.
[SPEAKER_00]: He pointed to a space over which naval signals was printed.
[SPEAKER_00]: out of date and waste paper.
[SPEAKER_00]: The Admiralty in some way got the alarm and every code has been changed.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a blow, Baron.
[SPEAKER_00]: The worst set back in my whole campaign.
[SPEAKER_00]: But thanks to my checkbook and the good ultimataur will be well tonight.
[SPEAKER_00]: The Baron looked at his watch and gave a guttural exclamation of disappointment.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I really can wait no longer.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can imagine that things are moving at present in Colton Terrace and that we have all to be at our posts.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had hoped to be able to bring news of your great coup.
[SPEAKER_00]: Did Altamont name no hour?
[SPEAKER_00]: Von Bork pushed over a telegram.
[SPEAKER_00]: Will come without fail tonight and bring new sparking plugs.
[SPEAKER_00]: Altamont.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sparking plugs, eh?
[SPEAKER_00]: You see he poses as a motor expert and I keep a full garage.
[SPEAKER_00]: In our code everything likely to come up is named after some spare part.
[SPEAKER_00]: If he talks of a radiator it is a battleship of an oil pump a cruiser and so on, sparking plugs are naval signals.
[SPEAKER_00]: From Portsmouth that midday said the secretary, examining the superscription.
[SPEAKER_00]: By the way, what do you give him?
[SPEAKER_00]: five hundred pounds for this particular job.
[SPEAKER_00]: Of course, he has a salary as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: The greedy rogue, they are useful these traders, but I grudge them their blood money.
[SPEAKER_00]: I grudge Altamont nothing.
[SPEAKER_00]: He is a wonderful worker.
[SPEAKER_00]: If I pay him well, at least he delivers the goods to use his own phrase.
[SPEAKER_00]: Besides, he is not a trader.
[SPEAKER_00]: I assure you that our most pan-Germanic yunker is a sucking dove in his feelings towards England as compared with a real bitter Irish American.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, an Irish American?
[SPEAKER_00]: If you heard him talk, you would not doubt it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes I assure you I can hardly understand him.
[SPEAKER_00]: He seems to have declared war on the King's English as well as on the English King.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I'm sorry, but I've already overstayed my time.
[SPEAKER_00]: We shall expect you early tomorrow, and when you get that signal book through the little door on the Duke of York steps, you can put a triumphant finish to your record in England what, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: He indicated a heavily sealed dust-covered bottle, which stood with two high glasses upon a salver.
[SPEAKER_00]: May I offer you a glass before your journey?
[SPEAKER_00]: No thanks, but it looks like revelry.
[SPEAKER_00]: Altamont has a nice taste in wines and he took a fancy to my tokay.
[SPEAKER_00]: He is a touchy fellow and needs humoring and small things.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have to study him, I assure you.
[SPEAKER_00]: They had strolled out onto the terrace again and along it to the further end, where at a touch from the Baron's chauffeur, the great car, shivered and chuckled.
[SPEAKER_00]: Those are the lights of Harwich, I suppose, said the Secretary pulling on his dust coat.
[SPEAKER_00]: How still and peaceful it all seems.
[SPEAKER_00]: There may be other lights within the week and the English coast to less tranquil place.
[SPEAKER_00]: The heavens too may not be quite so peaceful if all that the good Zeppelin promise is us comes true.
[SPEAKER_00]: By the way, who is that?
[SPEAKER_00]: Only one window showed a light behind them.
[SPEAKER_00]: In it, they stood a lamp, and beside it, seated at a table, was a dear old, ruddy-faced woman in a country cap.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was bending over her knitting and stopping occasionally to stroke a large black cat upon a stool beside her.
[SPEAKER_00]: That is Martha the only servant I have left.
[SPEAKER_00]: The Secretary chuckled.
[SPEAKER_00]: She might almost personify Britannia, said he, with her complete self-absorption and general air of comfortable somnolence.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, or of Wafonbock, with a final wave of his hand he sprang into the car, and a moment later the two golden cones from the headlights shot through the darkness.
[SPEAKER_00]: The secretary lay back in the cushions of the luxurious limousine, with his thought so full
[SPEAKER_00]: that he hardly observed that as his car swung around the village street it nearly passed over a little Ford, coming in the opposite direction.
[UNKNOWN]: Thank you.
[UNKNOWN]: Thank you very much.
[UNKNOWN]: Thank you.
[UNKNOWN]: you
[UNKNOWN]: Thank you very much.
[UNKNOWN]: Thank you.