WEBVTT 00:02.113 --> 00:07.460 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Sexology, a podcast that untangles the science of sex and pleasure. 00:07.981 --> 00:15.150 [SPEAKER_00]: And now, with this week's episode, your host, Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Naseneen Moali. 00:17.170 --> 00:23.497 [SPEAKER_01]: And welcome back to another episode of this exalyship podcast, I'm your host, Dr. Nassanine Moly. 00:23.938 --> 00:27.341 [SPEAKER_01]: And today we're talking about a question I hear all the time. 00:28.002 --> 00:32.146 [SPEAKER_01]: I love my partner, so why don't I want sex anymore? 00:32.827 --> 00:35.468 [SPEAKER_01]: What if you don't actually have a little bit of a problem? 00:35.828 --> 00:43.971 [SPEAKER_01]: What if your problem is responding to chronic stress, pressure, and nervous system that's been stuck in survival mode? 00:44.491 --> 00:58.577 [SPEAKER_01]: Today, we're exploring why so many women mistake stress for low desire, why emotional safety matters more than most people realize, and what you can do to reconnect with your sexuality. 00:59.197 --> 01:10.308 [SPEAKER_01]: Joining me is Dr. Michelle Sands, a licensed nerve-packed physician, female hormone experts, epigenetic coach, and number one bestselling author. 01:10.949 --> 01:18.096 [SPEAKER_01]: Through her work, she helps women optimize their health, physically mentally emotional and spirituality. 01:18.636 --> 01:24.963 [SPEAKER_01]: and has become a leading voice on the connection between hormones, the nervous system, and female desire. 01:25.824 --> 01:35.213 [SPEAKER_01]: And before we dive in, if you like practical tools, to improve your desire, download my free guide, wrap up my sex life through the link in the show notes. 01:35.573 --> 01:37.015 [SPEAKER_01]: Alright, let's dive in! 01:41.625 --> 01:46.146 [SPEAKER_01]: Hello and welcome back to another episode of this technology podcast. 01:46.306 --> 01:52.567 [SPEAKER_01]: I am so excited to welcome Dr. Michel Sandstorchle, Dr. Sandstorchle, Dr. Sandstorchle. 01:52.587 --> 01:53.748 [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you so much for having me. 01:53.788 --> 01:54.828 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm excited to be here. 01:55.448 --> 01:57.568 [SPEAKER_01]: I am looking forward to this conversation. 01:57.928 --> 02:06.850 [SPEAKER_01]: I know that in industry, we hear like in sexual health world that everyone has who help women, fix their libita issue, right? 02:06.890 --> 02:09.191 [SPEAKER_01]: Like the framing is that women, 02:09.711 --> 02:13.174 [SPEAKER_01]: have low libido or they have a libido problem. 02:13.734 --> 02:19.840 [SPEAKER_01]: But I know you talk about a lot of women that don't actually have a low libido problem. 02:20.180 --> 02:22.121 [SPEAKER_01]: You talk about it's nervous system issue. 02:22.141 --> 02:23.863 [SPEAKER_01]: Can you tell us a little bit more about that? 02:24.303 --> 02:29.808 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, so when we talk about sexual health, like we're really just talking about an aspect of our overall health. 02:30.388 --> 02:44.959 [SPEAKER_02]: And a lot of times, for men and women, together, when we're noticing issues with sexual dysfunction, little bit of loss of interest, that usually is a warning sign of issues somewhere else in the body. 02:44.999 --> 02:48.002 [SPEAKER_02]: It could be circulation issue, could be, 02:48.782 --> 02:53.525 [SPEAKER_02]: stress releasing hormones like cortisol or epinephrine. 02:53.985 --> 02:58.067 [SPEAKER_02]: It could be an issue with non enough nutrients to make our sex hormones. 02:58.547 --> 03:04.470 [SPEAKER_02]: It could be an issue with cardiovascular system, could be a blood vessel issues. 03:04.550 --> 03:06.551 [SPEAKER_02]: There's so many different things that 03:07.672 --> 03:09.833 [SPEAKER_02]: can affect our sexual function. 03:09.973 --> 03:11.813 [SPEAKER_02]: I like to look at it like a vital sign. 03:11.853 --> 03:17.876 [SPEAKER_02]: Like a lot of times we look at we have to go to doctor and get a lab test to see if we're healthy or not. 03:17.896 --> 03:19.196 [SPEAKER_02]: See if our numbers are correct. 03:19.216 --> 03:29.760 [SPEAKER_02]: But legends, if you're noticing that you don't have a sex drive with men or not getting erections the morning or overnight, if women are just not wanting sex, there's not interested. 03:30.200 --> 03:33.141 [SPEAKER_02]: Usually that is a sign of a subbing and deeper. 03:33.581 --> 03:34.761 [SPEAKER_02]: It could be physical. 03:35.261 --> 03:36.702 [SPEAKER_02]: It could be emotional. 03:37.402 --> 03:43.168 [SPEAKER_02]: And it can be a combination of it too, and it definitely fix the bowl is the beautiful thing. 03:43.188 --> 03:48.632 [SPEAKER_01]: I agree with you, that sometimes women feel they are defective, they're broken. 03:48.693 --> 03:59.102 [SPEAKER_01]: I sometimes do couple sex therapy and I know that in traditional cisgender heterosexual relationship, I see that some women they arrive, they're kind of assuming they're broken. 03:59.562 --> 04:12.792 [SPEAKER_02]: Especially when in over 35, like it hits her even if pedipods and menopause, our hormones are reproductive hormones that we know are estrogen or digestion, specifically, those use start to decline. 04:13.332 --> 04:21.398 [SPEAKER_02]: And when that happens, that will reduce blood flow to our vaginal tissues and our vulva reduces 04:22.158 --> 04:25.859 [SPEAKER_02]: our blooper patient can cause urinary tract infections. 04:26.179 --> 04:28.240 [SPEAKER_02]: So this is causing women painless sex. 04:28.700 --> 04:34.002 [SPEAKER_02]: Anything that causes you pain, they think about if you touch your hands to the stove, causes you pain. 04:34.302 --> 04:37.623 [SPEAKER_02]: You're not going to be like, oh, I can't wait for the next time I touch my hands to the stove. 04:37.643 --> 04:40.304 [SPEAKER_02]: Like your body and your brain are like, that's not good. 04:40.744 --> 04:46.446 [SPEAKER_02]: And so you will actually not want to do this thing that causes you pain, even if you love your partner. 04:46.747 --> 04:50.488 [SPEAKER_02]: Even if you used to love that act, if that's painful, you're not going to want to do it. 04:51.108 --> 05:13.646 [SPEAKER_02]: and then also stress hormones can take over things like cortisol, progesterone goes low, we're not sleeping well, so we're exhausted, so if you're exhausted, the last thing you want to do is have sex so you want to go to bed and do a sleep, or you just want to do the dishes, read a magazine, watch a show, leave me alone, I'm tired, and so a lot of times it doesn't have anything to do with sex drive. 05:13.687 --> 05:14.267 [SPEAKER_02]: I think there's a 05:18.470 --> 05:34.540 [SPEAKER_02]: And they get the Ashley from surveys that they did, like on college campuses and in senior facilities where they would ask men and women like they'd share the picture of like attractive people to opposite sets and ask them if they would have sex with them. 05:34.680 --> 05:37.542 [SPEAKER_02]: And like most women be like, no, that's just gonna have sex with that guy. 05:37.562 --> 05:40.084 [SPEAKER_02]: And they'd be like, hey, yeah, I'd have sex with that girl. 05:40.144 --> 05:42.905 [SPEAKER_02]: And then they equated that to men like sex more than women. 05:43.286 --> 05:44.486 [SPEAKER_02]: And that's not sure at all. 05:44.827 --> 05:46.708 [SPEAKER_02]: And so that's as we blame the female. 05:47.448 --> 05:51.252 [SPEAKER_02]: and it's not that it's not that it's broken. 05:51.352 --> 05:53.794 [SPEAKER_02]: It's not that it's the even the female fall. 05:53.874 --> 05:56.837 [SPEAKER_02]: A lot of times like we don't learn how to house that. 05:56.897 --> 06:03.763 [SPEAKER_02]: Like nobody teaches us how to initiate sex, how long four players should be. 06:04.184 --> 06:07.247 [SPEAKER_02]: And I always tell my couples that a man can 06:07.847 --> 06:17.280 [SPEAKER_02]: go to work, he can get enough fight, he can get fired, he gets car couldn't break down on the way home, he can find out that his dog died and come in the house and still want to have sex of his way. 06:17.980 --> 06:23.367 [SPEAKER_02]: A woman can like get an argument with her best friend and she's not ready to go. 06:23.928 --> 06:25.809 [SPEAKER_02]: She needs environment to be right. 06:25.849 --> 06:28.311 [SPEAKER_02]: She needs the kids to be taking care of. 06:28.371 --> 06:29.972 [SPEAKER_02]: She needs the dishes to be done. 06:30.472 --> 06:37.897 [SPEAKER_02]: She wants you to like pug her and tell her she's beautiful and give her some little massage or a nap get her in the mood. 06:37.957 --> 06:44.841 [SPEAKER_02]: It takes women 10 to 20 to 30 minutes to start to lubricate and to get the juices flowing. 06:45.001 --> 06:47.042 [SPEAKER_02]: And sometimes men aren't taught that. 06:47.062 --> 06:50.464 [SPEAKER_02]: So they think just because they're like, hey, let's go now and the woman's like, 06:51.665 --> 06:53.366 [SPEAKER_02]: you've got to like initiate that. 06:53.386 --> 07:04.013 [SPEAKER_02]: You've got to get heard there to want to do it provided that she has the circulation, she has lubrication, she has all the things, and there are indefinitely hormone replacement therapy. 07:04.094 --> 07:10.298 [SPEAKER_02]: There's vaginal lubrication and vaginal hormones and there's ways to reverse those issues. 07:10.658 --> 07:17.322 [SPEAKER_02]: Just as men have your biagram or cialis, now we're finding that it works for women too, which is amazing. 07:17.823 --> 07:20.264 [SPEAKER_02]: And now we even have new peptides 07:21.305 --> 07:40.505 [SPEAKER_02]: are amazing for both men and women, not just for those circulation and blood flow issues that by agrancials work on, but there's a peptide called PT-141, which works on the brain and the dopamine and the oxytocin release, so people who are not in the mood, all of a sudden are in the mood, and it's quite amazing. 07:41.254 --> 07:42.174 [SPEAKER_01]: That's incredible. 07:42.195 --> 07:44.075 [SPEAKER_01]: You brought up so many great points. 07:44.476 --> 07:46.637 [SPEAKER_01]: One is like, let's start with the hormones. 07:46.977 --> 07:53.500 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, it's crazy that like I know with HRT, I'm in premenopause and I'm now super young. 07:53.820 --> 07:57.162 [SPEAKER_01]: And like, I met healthcare, my husband worked at healthcare. 07:57.282 --> 08:01.464 [SPEAKER_01]: I had to go to several physicians to get HRT. 08:01.524 --> 08:05.326 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, like, I go in to be data like these are the symptoms and things. 08:05.926 --> 08:07.587 [SPEAKER_01]: And I bit, I was able to get 08:09.368 --> 08:27.251 [SPEAKER_02]: chances if I wanted to steam a land where it says like estrogen like well yeah so difficult well it's really double standard because when girls are 12 years old 13 years old and they're having period problems the dough to solutions for central bills and that is that there's a synthetic 08:28.172 --> 08:44.220 [SPEAKER_02]: not bio-identical hormones that actually we know do have side effects, but when women of parry menophas and menophas age go in with the symptoms that are classic menophas symptoms, they're told, oh, you're just stressed, oh, it happens to everybody. 08:45.060 --> 08:55.308 [SPEAKER_02]: It lasts exercise more, you know, to drink lots of wine and relapse, so to tell all the things, and they're not given the hormones because there's a huge stigma around hormone replacement therapy. 08:55.428 --> 09:00.031 [SPEAKER_02]: It used to be that over 50% of women were on hormone replacement therapy. 09:00.071 --> 09:04.755 [SPEAKER_02]: If they were over the age of 40, 45, doing a set perimen of hotness time. 09:05.295 --> 09:08.758 [SPEAKER_02]: And we saw all kinds of great things with their lab markers, with a 09:09.178 --> 09:12.140 [SPEAKER_02]: health with their heart health, osteoporosis. 09:12.340 --> 09:19.505 [SPEAKER_02]: So hormone replacement therapy was really really a big deal and women were loving it and doctors were recommended left and right. 09:20.145 --> 09:27.370 [SPEAKER_02]: Then there was a study in 2002 called the Women's Health Initiative study and this study was actually put together to prove in a 09:28.090 --> 09:35.956 [SPEAKER_02]: you know, clinically controlled child that hormone replacement therapy is helpful in the reduction of cardiovascular disease for women. 09:36.376 --> 09:39.299 [SPEAKER_02]: So it was really exciting to have this all documented. 09:39.959 --> 09:42.301 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, the end of stopping us study early. 09:42.741 --> 09:51.148 [SPEAKER_02]: And before they can actually look at all the data, it leads to the press that there is a couple incidents of cancer when there's some of the 09:54.150 --> 10:04.173 [SPEAKER_02]: Newspaper articles came out, headlines, hormones, cause cancer, women shouldn't be on hormones, they're dangerous, and doctors all immediately told their clients to flesh the hormones down the toilet. 10:04.753 --> 10:09.955 [SPEAKER_02]: Doctors did not prescribe hormones anymore, and the poor women were left with all their symptoms. 10:11.033 --> 10:28.077 [SPEAKER_02]: When we look at the state, we now, there's been several mental analysis and several more studies done since then, and what we see is that the women were on oral synthetic equine estrogen with estrogen from horses that were taking it poorly and a synthetic progesterine. 10:28.557 --> 10:38.599 [SPEAKER_02]: It is not progesterone, that is a synthetic molecule that's kind of like progesterone, but not really, and can cause some issues when you put it in the body and the body doesn't recognize it. 10:41.400 --> 10:55.868 [SPEAKER_02]: Most of them, like over 50% of them were obese, 65% of them were previous smokers and the vast majority of them had previous condition either blood pressure. 10:56.929 --> 11:00.551 [SPEAKER_02]: diabetes or some other cardiovascular issue, preexisting. 11:00.992 --> 11:03.133 [SPEAKER_02]: So this was kind of a sick population. 11:03.153 --> 11:04.834 [SPEAKER_02]: This was a population that you expect. 11:05.394 --> 11:06.855 [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe something bad to happen. 11:07.055 --> 11:18.323 [SPEAKER_02]: And then when we look at the numbers, it was only like a one in one thousand increase in breast cancer in the group that was taking the synthetic progesterine, not in the group that was taking the horse estrogen. 11:19.143 --> 11:20.485 [SPEAKER_02]: Now we're hormones are much different. 11:20.505 --> 11:22.086 [SPEAKER_02]: We make hormones from plants now. 11:22.427 --> 11:27.953 [SPEAKER_02]: They're bio-identical, which means they're biologically identical to what our hormones that we used to make. 11:27.993 --> 11:32.458 [SPEAKER_02]: So when we take them, we're about to recognize them exactly in the chemical structure. 11:32.498 --> 11:37.863 [SPEAKER_02]: Like when you remember chemistry class, there was all the octagonons with the little taz and the hydrogens and the 11:41.247 --> 11:59.113 [SPEAKER_02]: for your estrogen, your progesterone, your testosterone, your DHA, all these hormones that replace the replacing them bio-identically to the hormones, so there's not any of these issues and in fact, now the size are showing that women who are on hormone replacement therapy have a lower risk of all cause mortality. 11:59.133 --> 12:08.316 [SPEAKER_02]: That's a little risk of dying for any reason, breast cancer, ovarian cancer, heart disease diabetes, metabolic syndrome, osteoporosis, the list goes on or not. 12:08.356 --> 12:10.057 [SPEAKER_02]: So now the danger is actually 12:11.057 --> 12:18.564 [SPEAKER_02]: not taking hormones, like not having your hormones is the danger, not to mention the sexual dysfunction that takes away from your enjoyment of life. 12:19.105 --> 12:27.753 [SPEAKER_02]: But unfortunately, in our medical institutions, doctors get about one hour of training on women's hormones and menopause. 12:28.233 --> 12:30.575 [SPEAKER_02]: They get no training at a hormone replacement therapy. 12:31.196 --> 12:34.499 [SPEAKER_02]: And they've all heard about these studies, so the kind of like 12:35.540 --> 13:00.661 [SPEAKER_02]: Boy, that cried wolf kind of, it just escalates, but now I think with myself and there's many daughters online, there's podcasts like this where we're talking the truth, the women's the men of our society now, they're called the men of our society and the Institute of Health and the American Cancer Society, all have come out and said hormones are safe, the FDA removed the black box warning from both estrogen and testosterone. 13:01.222 --> 13:03.684 [SPEAKER_02]: So now women are starting to get 13:04.004 --> 13:10.826 [SPEAKER_02]: more homeroom replacement therapy from the younger doctors and doctors are starting to get a little bit more training, but we still have a little bit of a battle. 13:11.667 --> 13:18.889 [SPEAKER_01]: Right, that's just so I was so profile and FDA removed the warning and I feel like it hasn't arrived. 13:20.090 --> 13:21.970 [SPEAKER_02]: It's not in the doctor's office is it? 13:22.010 --> 13:23.371 [SPEAKER_02]: It takes about the study show. 13:23.391 --> 13:29.633 [SPEAKER_02]: It takes about seven years for the research to trickle down to your primary care doctor's office. 13:30.093 --> 13:39.045 [SPEAKER_02]: So, if you go to like a primary care that takes insurance, they usually don't get their standard of care changed for seven years. 13:39.086 --> 13:47.237 [SPEAKER_02]: Now, if you go to like a functional medicine, a noxpathic medicine, they usually are more quick to adapt to what the research is. 13:47.677 --> 13:48.217 [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely. 13:48.237 --> 13:50.318 [SPEAKER_01]: And what did huge difference it makes, right? 13:50.358 --> 13:54.839 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, so my lesson to everybody listening is you've got to advocate for yourself. 13:55.099 --> 14:03.621 [SPEAKER_02]: So just like you just said, you had to go to several doctors, you had to go several visits before you're able to get the hormones that you needed. 14:04.122 --> 14:06.542 [SPEAKER_02]: So you just because a doctor says, no, it's not good for you. 14:07.082 --> 14:08.343 [SPEAKER_02]: Get a second opinion. 14:09.243 --> 14:20.775 [SPEAKER_02]: Ask again, find the doctor that will listen and go with some research, you know, go with like, hey, I heard this podcast, they said that hormones will lower my risk of dying for any reason, is that true. 14:20.975 --> 14:29.444 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, and they're saying, no, like, she showed me and just keep asking you to ask me because you are your own best advocate and you are the only one who's going to fight for you. 14:30.003 --> 14:30.583 [SPEAKER_01]: I love that. 14:30.603 --> 14:36.944 [SPEAKER_01]: That message is so important because I never thought I have to kind of like I go with data. 14:36.964 --> 14:42.526 [SPEAKER_01]: These are the kind of patterns and like my like temperature and body changes in my body everything. 14:42.566 --> 14:51.447 [SPEAKER_01]: And I had as you mentioned, go go couple people and I ended up going with someone that we knew when I felt like you know, like they were not even kind of sure. 14:51.487 --> 14:52.648 [SPEAKER_01]: Which is like wild to me. 14:52.668 --> 14:54.428 [SPEAKER_01]: I ended up saying that I'm going to take my risks. 14:55.448 --> 15:19.557 [SPEAKER_01]: You put me on this tiny patch, so here we have made a huge difference because even if it's not a sexual side of it, even if you're experiencing like fogginess or moots in, they're like 99 symptoms, like literally to bring in the air, paint dry skin, hair loss, like everything, there's digestive issues, there's so many things going to be tied to your hormones. 15:23.078 --> 15:25.241 [SPEAKER_02]: things build up and it gets worse. 15:25.301 --> 15:38.337 [SPEAKER_02]: And so instead of waiting for you to have all the symptoms and having to like fix things that are kind of starting to break, I reckon as soon as you hear as soon as you think about it, start looking for answers, for sure. 15:38.577 --> 15:39.638 [SPEAKER_01]: advocate for yourself. 15:40.118 --> 15:53.111 [SPEAKER_01]: Another thing that I actually talk about it often, but I feel like if it's taken out of context, it's often, it's just more disappointing than raising yielding the result is scheduling sex, right? 15:53.131 --> 15:54.632 [SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes it's just schedule it. 15:55.092 --> 15:57.835 [SPEAKER_01]: But if you are not in the right mode, right? 15:57.895 --> 16:00.057 [SPEAKER_01]: Like it's just like you're exhausted. 16:00.077 --> 16:01.679 [SPEAKER_01]: You've kind of experiencing this 16:02.259 --> 16:05.721 [SPEAKER_01]: feeling like, I kind of want to do it, but I just like, I'm not ready. 16:06.181 --> 16:11.384 [SPEAKER_01]: How do you recommend people to kind of like navigate like rekindling like sex lines? 16:11.404 --> 16:11.925 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 16:12.365 --> 16:13.545 [SPEAKER_02]: So that's really interesting. 16:13.625 --> 16:21.170 [SPEAKER_02]: So it, firstly, I thought that idea was like, that doesn't sound very romantic, but I think like scheduling interest. 16:21.770 --> 16:23.771 [SPEAKER_02]: So it doesn't need to be sex. 16:23.791 --> 16:25.051 [SPEAKER_02]: This doesn't need to be intercourse. 16:25.111 --> 16:30.293 [SPEAKER_02]: If you schedule intimacy, we're going to hug, run a cuddle, run a crazy child there. 16:30.313 --> 16:32.393 [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to be romantic together. 16:32.413 --> 16:38.996 [SPEAKER_02]: And if that leads to sex, if that puts you in the mood and that is great, that is your time to be intimate. 16:39.676 --> 16:45.738 [SPEAKER_02]: Because I don't think you can force, we can't force a sexual encounter, if you kind of uncomfortable. 16:46.078 --> 16:48.058 [SPEAKER_02]: But for busy couples that don't have 16:49.739 --> 16:57.081 [SPEAKER_02]: It's definitely stuff to be amazing because myself, I visit, I travel a my fiance is also super busy. 16:57.301 --> 17:00.282 [SPEAKER_02]: And so sometimes we're like, we just want to make sure it happens, right? 17:00.482 --> 17:02.803 [SPEAKER_02]: And because we don't only lose that connection together. 17:02.823 --> 17:04.904 [SPEAKER_02]: And so we've talked about that. 17:05.444 --> 17:12.767 [SPEAKER_02]: Right now, we don't have to worry about it, but like later down the line, actually we've been married for 10 years, we might want to schedule it and it might be a marriage saver. 17:13.067 --> 17:21.590 [SPEAKER_02]: So it depends on the couple, but if it is social dysfunction on either side meeting, someone has a libido issue, someone has a pain issue, someone has 17:22.310 --> 17:28.374 [SPEAKER_02]: issue getting going in the bedroom, then just schedule intimacy, so that's going to keep the connection there. 17:28.394 --> 17:37.180 [SPEAKER_02]: That's going to tell each other that you're still in it for each other, and they can eventually lead to those things, but you might need some help, you might need. 17:37.980 --> 17:39.681 [SPEAKER_02]: a vaginal estrogen. 17:40.001 --> 17:45.525 [SPEAKER_02]: You might need a Cialis or a biagra or some testosterone to the man or for the women. 17:46.146 --> 18:00.755 [SPEAKER_02]: You know testosterone is a hormone that both men and women have but it's been kind of like it's not FDA approved for the women so we have to prescribe it off label but it's sometimes very much needed and so you know sometimes don't be ashamed if you need a little 18:06.499 --> 18:08.961 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a drug that actually helps with blood flow. 18:09.041 --> 18:14.206 [SPEAKER_02]: It was actually a blood pressure drug at first, and we realized, oh, wow, it has great impact. 18:14.886 --> 18:17.528 [SPEAKER_02]: In the bedroom, for men, helping them get erections. 18:17.568 --> 18:20.931 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, now we're realizing it has great effects on women as well. 18:21.512 --> 18:27.136 [SPEAKER_02]: And not just for sex or for low-enreceptive heart disease, as well, and also helping with brain function. 18:27.737 --> 18:33.502 [SPEAKER_02]: So it's actually looked at low dose, like five milligrams, or two point five milligrams for women, even. 18:34.182 --> 18:35.663 [SPEAKER_02]: it's like that is long-debted by drugs. 18:35.703 --> 18:37.183 [SPEAKER_02]: So we don't have to be ashamed. 18:37.263 --> 18:42.326 [SPEAKER_02]: And I don't like to say you call it sexual dysfunction drugs because that is like in negative. 18:42.406 --> 18:45.287 [SPEAKER_02]: So I like it to be sexual optimization, right? 18:45.347 --> 18:54.091 [SPEAKER_02]: Because we're not treating a dysfunctional we're optimizing, we're optimizing our sex life and our health and our overall wellness. 18:54.311 --> 18:59.414 [SPEAKER_02]: And now we're seeing all the research come out that the more sets people are having, 19:00.234 --> 19:07.118 [SPEAKER_02]: and the more time it's a man ejaculates and the more times a woman has a orgasm can actually lead to longer life. 19:07.659 --> 19:10.881 [SPEAKER_02]: So that research is kind of emerging right now. 19:10.981 --> 19:15.223 [SPEAKER_02]: We've seen several studies showing helps with heart conditions. 19:15.523 --> 19:18.925 [SPEAKER_02]: It's just as good as going out for like a job, right? 19:19.005 --> 19:25.109 [SPEAKER_02]: So it's quite amazing a way to actually have improved overall health and wellness 19:27.820 --> 19:41.036 [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely, and I have a colleague that you might have known Dr. Nan and she's a neuroscientist and she did this correlation, of course, correlational study, but she found that people who have more sex, they earn more, right? 19:41.056 --> 19:43.940 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, yeah, I actually I did a talk last year about 19:44.560 --> 19:52.862 [SPEAKER_02]: You get a little bit of being your business super power and I actually I don't know if it's her study earth similar study But yes, they they get raises. 19:52.902 --> 19:58.124 [SPEAKER_02]: They they ask for raises because you're more assertive You have that more you because we talked about sex drive, right? 19:58.404 --> 20:01.925 [SPEAKER_02]: But it's your drive for anything so you're getting the sale. 20:01.945 --> 20:08.307 [SPEAKER_02]: You're speaking up in the meeting You're asking for the you're asking for the deal and so they do earn more. 20:08.327 --> 20:09.107 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, as it's true 20:09.798 --> 20:17.442 [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely, and it's more about, you know, for many people, I know, and the hope is validation comes from with them, right? 20:17.482 --> 20:25.786 [SPEAKER_01]: But like when you are in a relationship that you feel desire, you're having a second, and it can be very affirming and helping people feel more confident. 20:26.066 --> 20:37.274 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, going back to what we were talking about, like sometimes we were like, for example, as you mentioned, we schedule sex, we like our partner, just like the intimacy kind of like we see like the spark is not there. 20:37.674 --> 20:41.456 [SPEAKER_01]: And one of the interesting things you talked about is the nervous system and cortisol. 20:41.556 --> 20:49.982 [SPEAKER_01]: And we hear about all the time for people that they wonder if that is the cause, what do you recommend them to do? 20:50.122 --> 20:52.544 [SPEAKER_01]: Like what are some of the road map of addressing that? 20:53.184 --> 21:17.530 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so if you, if you do believe that cortisol or you suspect even cortisol can be a cause and definitely I'm your nurse probably you have some dysregulated sleep schedules you might be tired in the morning wired at night because your cortisol and your melatonin are melatonin just sleep hormone cortisol is your wake hormone and it's also your stress hormone but it's also very important. 21:18.050 --> 21:35.402 [SPEAKER_02]: So the reason why we have cortisol is to wake us up in the morning, but also in times of like danger, or if there's an emergency, your cortisol checks in along with your adrenaline so that you can run away, you can be alert so you can take care of your children. 21:35.782 --> 21:47.244 [SPEAKER_02]: or whatever it might be, so it's a very important hormone that's not supposed to be constantly elevated, it's supposed to be come in, take care of their emergency, now it's back down again. 21:47.624 --> 21:50.585 [SPEAKER_02]: And then something happens, it's up and now it's back down. 21:50.685 --> 21:54.526 [SPEAKER_02]: Or in the morning, you wake your cortisol a little higher than it starts to clenning throughout the day. 21:54.606 --> 22:02.147 [SPEAKER_02]: What happens when we have cortisol dysregulation will work constantly stressed because we all have the cell phones that are just de-thing and saying 22:05.968 --> 22:16.091 [SPEAKER_02]: relationship issues and then there's trying to deal with social media and there's all things that now to us as humans in 2026 are like dangers. 22:16.351 --> 22:18.852 [SPEAKER_02]: We're back in like prehistoric times. 22:18.912 --> 22:22.193 [SPEAKER_02]: It was just fire, animals, and starvation. 22:22.473 --> 22:45.964 [SPEAKER_02]: right so those are the things that we had to worry about and it was only once in a while that we had to do that and then we were kind of at regular just our regular hormone levels but when cortisol stays elevated we can get burned out we'll be tired and wired and also our hormones are our steroid hormones which are your sex hormones your cortisol those are made from the same 22:47.785 --> 22:58.992 [SPEAKER_02]: So if you are making a lot of cortisol, you're not going to be making a lot of your sex hormones because if you're in an emergency situation that there is danger, if you're running from a tiger, not really a good time to stop and have sex. 22:59.372 --> 23:05.256 [SPEAKER_02]: So your body's like, hey, we're shutting that off or turning this on so that you can run, fight, survive. 23:05.836 --> 23:11.562 [SPEAKER_02]: But when you're living a constant state or survival, that's going to naturally turn down their sex drive. 23:11.622 --> 23:17.248 [SPEAKER_02]: It's going to make you anxious, it's going to make you tired, and if you're not going to be in the mood. 23:17.268 --> 23:20.091 [SPEAKER_02]: So if you suspect that, there's a few things you can do. 23:20.372 --> 23:23.635 [SPEAKER_02]: One, you can add adaptogenic herbs into your... 23:24.536 --> 23:25.657 [SPEAKER_02]: your supplement plan. 23:25.737 --> 23:32.841 [SPEAKER_02]: So things like Ashra Gondor, Rodiola, zinsing, those things can help to modulate your corzo. 23:32.881 --> 23:36.023 [SPEAKER_02]: So if it's too high or too low, it'll hire to help modulate it. 23:36.283 --> 23:42.787 [SPEAKER_02]: You can also do a task like a saliva test to test your corzo levels throughout the day to see what your pattern is. 23:43.287 --> 23:49.631 [SPEAKER_02]: Because if either your corzo might be really high, but if it's really high for a long time, then it can be really low because you just 23:52.493 --> 24:03.115 [SPEAKER_02]: So, just looking at that and then, you know, lifestyle, you're going to want to really prioritize sleep, you want to prioritize nutrition, you really want to take some like self-care. 24:03.155 --> 24:17.237 [SPEAKER_02]: If you were the kind of person that is like a dog, a dog, a dog, a run on a treadmill and that guy doing their hard core workout, you might want to switch to yoga and walking and watching this sunset and doing things that are more than their train to your body at least for a period in time. 24:17.637 --> 24:21.918 [SPEAKER_02]: This is me because I was a truck athlete in college and I was a 24:22.138 --> 24:24.441 [SPEAKER_02]: Type A person it was at least go go. 24:24.461 --> 24:27.005 [SPEAKER_02]: I had thyroid and cortisol issues. 24:27.065 --> 24:36.780 [SPEAKER_02]: I found that out and I had to really pull back and certainly just taking some like self care really making sure I nourished my body and wasn't trying to do. 24:37.460 --> 24:39.841 [SPEAKER_02]: diet, listen, diet that and everything, low fat. 24:40.242 --> 24:46.965 [SPEAKER_02]: And so just more nurturing and it didn't take that long to give about four months to kind of get it back on track. 24:47.025 --> 24:53.589 [SPEAKER_02]: And then I was able to gradually add in more like hardcore workouts, but also making sure I have that rest day. 24:53.809 --> 24:53.969 [SPEAKER_02]: Right. 24:54.009 --> 24:58.692 [SPEAKER_02]: So it's all about balance and your body can only takes so much and something's going to give. 24:59.532 --> 25:08.757 [SPEAKER_02]: and a lot of times it is our sex drive because it's not your biases as that's expendable because it wants to keep you alive. 25:08.777 --> 25:10.778 [SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't necessarily need you alive and happy. 25:11.138 --> 25:12.498 [SPEAKER_02]: It's always to keep you alive. 25:13.319 --> 25:17.121 [SPEAKER_02]: But we want to live a happy full, fulfilled, joyful life. 25:17.381 --> 25:20.822 [SPEAKER_02]: And having a healthy, healthy sex life is definitely a huge part of that. 25:20.902 --> 25:22.323 [SPEAKER_02]: It's part of wellness. 25:24.264 --> 25:46.861 [SPEAKER_02]: my family is like, why are you talking about sex like with your doctor like why that it's totally part of our overall wellness is a huge part of our life and without that we do have that loss of confidence like you talked about we can feel like like we're neglected or we can feel ashamed and all those things carry into every area of our life and so 25:47.882 --> 25:50.883 [SPEAKER_02]: I wish that the conversation was less taboo. 25:51.284 --> 25:53.404 [SPEAKER_02]: I wish that people can have that conversation. 25:53.424 --> 26:01.788 [SPEAKER_02]: I wish that we can be on social media and actually spell out the words of the body parts without having to put like codes in so we don't get censored. 26:02.368 --> 26:08.291 [SPEAKER_02]: But in other countries, it's very open talking about sex and talking about different things. 26:08.351 --> 26:11.793 [SPEAKER_02]: And people are more like crowd sourcing information. 26:11.853 --> 26:14.914 [SPEAKER_02]: But here we're kind of like talk like you don't talk about that. 26:15.474 --> 26:28.205 [SPEAKER_02]: And so people are isolated on their own trying to figure out why is this happening to me, but it's really happening to so many people because of our modern lifestyle that is very stress driven. 26:28.665 --> 26:37.373 [SPEAKER_02]: And so you have to be very mindful to say no to some of those stressors that you can protect your sanity, your sex life, and your overall health. 26:38.399 --> 26:39.020 [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely. 26:39.080 --> 26:53.633 [SPEAKER_01]: I think these are all very important and overall, as you mentioned, having get better read on what's happening in my body and educating yourself, working on these road blocks can improve your quality of life and addition to your sex life. 26:54.054 --> 26:55.555 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, and it's totally normal. 26:56.196 --> 26:59.979 [SPEAKER_02]: It's totally normal to have an aid for women over 40. 27:01.060 --> 27:03.963 [SPEAKER_02]: Everyone should be using a lubrication when you have sex. 27:04.543 --> 27:09.528 [SPEAKER_02]: It's just you're not always going to make an application and why not make it more enjoyable. 27:09.908 --> 27:12.351 [SPEAKER_02]: And so that is nothing wrong with you. 27:12.691 --> 27:16.655 [SPEAKER_02]: There's nothing weird about it in some way, and I should be doing this myself. 27:16.955 --> 27:22.080 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh no, because we used the last fan of humans just to be much shorter than it is now. 27:22.180 --> 27:23.341 [SPEAKER_02]: And now we're living much longer. 27:23.381 --> 27:24.162 [SPEAKER_02]: That's amazing. 27:24.582 --> 27:28.586 [SPEAKER_02]: But we want to live full for all those years and sometimes we do need some help. 27:29.010 --> 27:29.591 [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely. 27:29.631 --> 27:33.975 [SPEAKER_01]: And you kind of taking care of your sexual health or supporting your partner to feel in power. 27:34.055 --> 27:36.917 [SPEAKER_01]: I think that's that's really important. 27:36.957 --> 27:43.663 [SPEAKER_01]: Dr. Sands, I'm sure many of our lessons will learn more about you, all the wonderful services and content you have out there. 27:43.703 --> 27:45.645 [SPEAKER_01]: What are some of the places people can find you? 27:46.305 --> 27:49.708 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, our website is Blue National Wellness and we have 27:50.529 --> 28:02.960 [SPEAKER_02]: We have our clean hormone line, which is a biogenesis hormones that have no pair of ends, palates, petrochemicals, nothing toxic in them, so it's super clean, safe, and they're all clean labels certified. 28:02.980 --> 28:03.520 [SPEAKER_02]: So we have those. 28:03.540 --> 28:09.406 [SPEAKER_02]: We also have Global Low, which is one of our star products, which is our vaginal estrogen and vaginal DHA. 28:09.806 --> 28:13.109 [SPEAKER_02]: So that is great as a lubrication, but also to restore any of the 28:14.630 --> 28:22.038 [SPEAKER_02]: down at your detriment that happens for women as they have that decline, the loss of sensitivity, atrophy, dryness, pain during sets. 28:22.158 --> 28:22.999 [SPEAKER_02]: That's amazing. 28:23.319 --> 28:24.821 [SPEAKER_02]: And then we have our televiniscence as well. 28:24.861 --> 28:30.307 [SPEAKER_02]: So that's where you can get peptides, APT-141 to improve sexual function for men and women to 28:37.514 --> 28:44.721 [SPEAKER_02]: Anything for your sex life that's holistic and healthy, we can help you with, and then, you know, I'm also on Instagram, I live in Instagram. 28:44.781 --> 28:48.464 [SPEAKER_02]: So Dr. Rachelle Sales on Instagram, feel free to reach out and ask me any questions. 28:49.045 --> 28:51.247 [SPEAKER_02]: I answer all my messages, so that's always fun. 28:51.887 --> 28:55.310 [SPEAKER_01]: May you think, well, thank you so much for sharing all of your knowledge with us. 28:55.651 --> 28:59.094 [SPEAKER_01]: We'll make sure the link will be in the show notes, and thank you for your time. 28:59.654 --> 29:00.455 [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you, too. 29:00.495 --> 29:01.336 [SPEAKER_02]: Have a wonderful day. 29:01.376 --> 29:02.357 [SPEAKER_02]: Thanks so much for having me. 29:02.657 --> 29:03.197 [SPEAKER_02]: You as well. 29:03.438 --> 29:03.778 [SPEAKER_02]: Bye now. 29:08.200 --> 29:11.341 [SPEAKER_01]: Before we wrap up, I just want to say thank you. 29:11.721 --> 29:16.422 [SPEAKER_01]: Next week, you were celebrating a milestone that still feels surreal to me. 29:16.902 --> 29:20.843 [SPEAKER_01]: Episode 500 of The Sexology Podcast. 29:21.364 --> 29:26.465 [SPEAKER_01]: Whether you've been with me since the beginning, or you discovered the show last week. 29:27.005 --> 29:29.246 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for being part of this community. 29:29.446 --> 29:34.669 [SPEAKER_01]: It is truly an honor to have these conversations with you every week. 29:35.049 --> 29:38.090 [SPEAKER_01]: To celebrate, I love to hear from you. 29:38.410 --> 29:44.973 [SPEAKER_01]: Send me a DM on my Instagram at 6ology podcast and tell me What's been your favorite episode? 29:45.634 --> 29:48.635 [SPEAKER_01]: Or what's the one thing you learned from this podcast? 29:49.269 --> 30:11.215 [SPEAKER_01]: As a thank you everyone who sends a message will be in turn into a drawing for $100 Amazon gift card, all announced the winner and episode 501 and if today's episode resonated with you don't forget to download my free book Revok My Sex Life through the link in the show notes. 30:11.825 --> 30:19.468 [SPEAKER_01]: It is filled with practical evidence-based strategies to help you reconnect with desire and a compassionate, sustainable way. 30:20.088 --> 30:21.489 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you again for listening. 30:21.789 --> 30:26.091 [SPEAKER_01]: I can't wait to celebrate Episode 500 with you next week. 30:26.451 --> 30:27.151 [SPEAKER_01]: I'll see you then. 30:28.083 --> 30:48.547 [SPEAKER_01]: Thanks for listening to Sixology Podcasts for more great content visit www.sixologypodcast.com Please be advised that information presented on this podcast is not a substitute for seeking help from a licensed mental health provider