WEBVTT 00:02.417 --> 00:23.576 [SPEAKER_00]: Christian parenting and we are back with brand new fresh episodes and yeah welcome to July I hope you're somewhere is going well and I have missed sharing some new stuff and I am here with I've got a whole lineup of lots of different episodes but today's 00:24.377 --> 00:33.064 [SPEAKER_00]: topic is one that I have been asked multiple times in person as well as through social media, emails, all the things. 00:33.284 --> 00:34.525 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I was like, you know what? 00:34.625 --> 00:39.108 [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of just addressing people individually, which I did, let's kind of throw this out there. 00:39.328 --> 00:43.211 [SPEAKER_00]: That way if somebody asks, I can say, hey, go listen to episode 465 that aired on July 2nd of 2026. 00:43.271 --> 00:44.973 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, let's get into it. 00:49.375 --> 00:51.416 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Little By Little Home School podcast. 00:51.536 --> 00:53.856 [SPEAKER_00]: This is your first time listening to an episode. 00:54.116 --> 00:54.816 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to it. 00:55.056 --> 00:56.197 [SPEAKER_00]: And my name is Lee Nguyen. 00:56.757 --> 01:00.958 [SPEAKER_00]: I am the voice and also the face behind Little By Little Home School. 01:01.478 --> 01:10.900 [SPEAKER_00]: If you are looking for resources on how to begin homeschooling or how to maintain it or give it a revamp, you can go ahead and check that out over at the website. 01:11.300 --> 01:13.101 [SPEAKER_00]: Littleby LittleHome School.com has everything. 01:13.281 --> 01:15.641 [SPEAKER_00]: Specifically, check out your homeschool blueprint. 01:15.861 --> 01:16.941 [SPEAKER_00]: I also have a mentorship. 01:19.442 --> 01:20.083 [SPEAKER_00]: Did I say it right there? 01:20.163 --> 01:20.943 [SPEAKER_00]: I put the right emphasis. 01:21.984 --> 01:31.250 [SPEAKER_00]: There's also the tidy home helps you with your chores and there is an in-person conference that will be happening here in just two and a half short months So welcome to this episode. 01:31.290 --> 01:44.559 [SPEAKER_00]: We are going to talk about what do things look like with the relationship with your boys You might have little ones that can easily curl up on your lap, but what does it look like when you know you kind of get to the point where you can sit on their lap and you can no longer pick them up But they can pick you up. 01:44.759 --> 01:45.340 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's talk about it 01:46.890 --> 01:49.991 [SPEAKER_00]: to be honest, I am going to wing this episode just a little bit here. 01:50.331 --> 02:06.217 [SPEAKER_00]: I typically have some notes and everything written out, but some things have shifted in my day and I was like, you know what, I have to get this episode recorded and I have about 15, 20 minutes until I have to run off and do the next thing, so I was like, you know what, I don't have time to write notes, so we're just going to see what comes out, but you know what always happens, even if I write out notes. 02:06.677 --> 02:08.899 [SPEAKER_00]: After the episode, I'm like, oh, I should have said this. 02:08.959 --> 02:09.580 [SPEAKER_00]: I should have said that. 02:09.600 --> 02:11.421 [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes I'm like, oh, I should have said that. 02:11.461 --> 02:12.923 [SPEAKER_00]: Hopefully that's not taken the wrong way. 02:13.323 --> 02:15.605 [SPEAKER_00]: So just know that there's always more that I can add to it. 02:15.946 --> 02:17.847 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want these episodes to be too long for you. 02:18.408 --> 02:25.594 [SPEAKER_00]: And then there's also sometimes I might get something wrong or I might change my mind about something or my opinion or not have all the facts and all of the information. 02:25.634 --> 02:27.436 [SPEAKER_00]: So I think you for the grace in that. 02:27.516 --> 02:29.037 [SPEAKER_00]: And so let's have a little fun here. 02:29.838 --> 02:35.342 [SPEAKER_00]: And let's talk about the fact that moms can be scared about losing their relationship with their son as they get older. 02:35.362 --> 02:39.545 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm going to give you my advice as a mom with two young men. 02:40.185 --> 02:45.469 [SPEAKER_00]: Now my youngest is 18, and yes, it's a teenager, but we call him a young man, a young adult. 02:46.029 --> 02:54.155 [SPEAKER_00]: Because now he is graduated, we're like, okay, we're leaving the high school times behind us, and we are stepping into a new season, and his older brother is 21 years old. 02:55.028 --> 02:56.689 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's kind of my perspective where I'm coming from. 02:56.709 --> 02:58.331 [SPEAKER_00]: I also grew up with three brothers. 02:58.891 --> 02:59.912 [SPEAKER_00]: They were all young good in me. 02:59.992 --> 03:04.476 [SPEAKER_00]: So really got to watch and see how they grew up and how they grew into young men. 03:04.536 --> 03:09.360 [SPEAKER_00]: And then took a more responsibilities, got married, have kids, and have their own families, and their own lives. 03:09.420 --> 03:11.802 [SPEAKER_00]: And so that's my perspective that I'm coming from. 03:12.759 --> 03:15.320 [SPEAKER_00]: And there's this thing with moms. 03:15.440 --> 03:21.724 [SPEAKER_00]: And there's always this thing, you know, which say like, you know, moms and daughters and daddy or moms and sons and sorry, dads and daughters. 03:21.764 --> 03:29.348 [SPEAKER_00]: And of course, we have a relationship as moms with our daughters and our dads have the fathers have relationships with their sons. 03:29.828 --> 03:32.810 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, yes, but there's just something is different. 03:33.310 --> 03:36.612 [SPEAKER_00]: So let's just focus in on moms and sons right now. 03:37.608 --> 03:52.860 [SPEAKER_00]: And when they're a little less just like, oh, they're just, I don't know, it just is something they kind of can be the apple of our eye and I know for me my boys do things would frustrate me to know and they're always pushing their boundaries, but there was something in me that was just always like, you know what? 03:53.863 --> 03:55.124 [SPEAKER_00]: someday this will serve them well. 03:55.604 --> 03:58.465 [SPEAKER_00]: I just need them to know that there are levels of authority. 03:58.886 --> 04:02.187 [SPEAKER_00]: And therefore, right now this is not appropriate to do. 04:02.748 --> 04:16.855 [SPEAKER_00]: And so there's always been special bond, but my husband and I recognize this and I, I just, in parenting, I just dove in, dove in deep, read so many books and there weren't podcasts, there weren't YouTube channels that when my kids were little or maybe they were, but I didn't know about them. 04:17.475 --> 04:30.469 [SPEAKER_00]: So it was a lot of books that we did a lot of learning and maybe there was classes at church and just anything that I could get my hands on to learn to be a better parent to be a better mom and the more that we learned the more that we recognized is just that. 04:31.906 --> 04:38.170 [SPEAKER_00]: Mom's are so important to boys until I'm going to say around the age of 10, 11. 04:38.951 --> 04:43.574 [SPEAKER_00]: Could maybe be a little bit earlier if you have a more mature boy or boy is pushing to be more mature. 04:43.914 --> 04:47.116 [SPEAKER_00]: And it could be a little bit later if they're a little bit maybe immature. 04:47.736 --> 04:57.543 [SPEAKER_00]: But I would say by 13th of the latest, 12th, 13th of the latest, even if they are immature, we have to push them out away from mom and mom is the primary caregiver up until that point. 04:58.393 --> 05:03.057 [SPEAKER_00]: then we need to turn a lot of direction and correction and discipleship over to dad. 05:03.457 --> 05:05.739 [SPEAKER_00]: We as moms, we can't teach them how to be men. 05:06.199 --> 05:15.986 [SPEAKER_00]: We can teach them what we think it is to be a man, but fathers, men, are the only ones that can teach them how to be a man, just like us for our daughters. 05:16.366 --> 05:20.309 [SPEAKER_00]: We are the ones that can teach them how to be a woman, and how to look around in the world. 05:20.329 --> 05:23.091 [SPEAKER_00]: So for an example for the moms and daughters, 05:23.992 --> 05:33.874 [SPEAKER_00]: I taught my daughter how to be safe, how to when she started driving, how to be safe in a parking lot by herself and the things to think about and the things to look for and pre-questions to take. 05:34.514 --> 05:41.495 [SPEAKER_00]: I remember telling my boys as teens, those types of things and they were, I'm like, these are the things that we meet in that time in my 40s. 05:41.835 --> 05:42.955 [SPEAKER_00]: So these are even the things. 05:43.475 --> 05:50.557 [SPEAKER_00]: I keep my head on a swivel, I am looking around, you know, if it's in the evening, I'm walking out of grocery store, if I don't feel comfortable at any point, I'm going to go find 05:53.537 --> 06:01.941 [SPEAKER_00]: to escort me out, and they were just like, I don't understand, like, yeah, this is just as a different perspective, and I had to teach her that, because I know that way of thinking. 06:02.702 --> 06:11.987 [SPEAKER_00]: And so when it comes to moms and sons, we nurture, and we love, and we can cuddle them, but then there has to come a point where, 06:13.027 --> 06:28.741 [SPEAKER_00]: they need to put aside being a baby, even though they're 10, a lot saying they're a baby then, but just put aside that and need to grow into how to protect and to how to be a man, how to be a Christian man. 06:29.181 --> 06:34.066 [SPEAKER_00]: And I know we can get into this like, well, that's just toxic masculinity and all this stuff. 06:34.566 --> 06:34.826 [SPEAKER_00]: Listen, 06:35.767 --> 06:42.678 [SPEAKER_00]: I believe the way that the Bible has things lined out and we men and women, we all have worth in God's eyes. 06:43.118 --> 06:44.140 [SPEAKER_00]: We have different roles, though. 06:44.821 --> 06:48.186 [SPEAKER_00]: And so our husbands, Lord willing, will lead them into those roles. 06:48.687 --> 06:50.329 [SPEAKER_00]: What does that look like for a mom? 06:51.070 --> 06:55.837 [SPEAKER_00]: and it is intentional of us letting them go, not holding them back. 06:56.178 --> 07:01.225 [SPEAKER_00]: When we hold them back, at say 10, 11, 12, and don't allow dad to take over. 07:01.245 --> 07:04.269 [SPEAKER_00]: We don't push them kind of out away from us. 07:04.309 --> 07:05.431 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just meant completely. 07:06.532 --> 07:07.494 [SPEAKER_00]: We actually really, 07:08.517 --> 07:09.577 [SPEAKER_00]: inhibit to their growth. 07:10.438 --> 07:20.641 [SPEAKER_00]: I have seen research, I have listened to things and watched things and studies and that actually come from a secular perspective and they say the same thing. 07:21.381 --> 07:23.422 [SPEAKER_00]: They say that they will then be crippled. 07:23.442 --> 07:24.322 [SPEAKER_00]: We talk about mama's voice. 07:24.703 --> 07:31.865 [SPEAKER_00]: Here we want kind of a mama's voice because but what it should become is that our boys grow into young men and they actually 07:32.425 --> 07:56.333 [SPEAKER_00]: I would say my boys can kind of be mama's boys, but in a good way like they will protect me I'm not worried walking through a parking lot at night with them because I know that they will protect me because we have We have grown them into that they are bigger and stature I know that me walking through a dark parking lot in the evening with them no one's gonna come up and bother us or anything like that What do you what are you gonna do with a young man who's six foot tall and muscular? 07:56.513 --> 07:56.693 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean 07:57.713 --> 07:58.013 [SPEAKER_00]: Good luck. 07:58.113 --> 08:02.137 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, but I know we can be worried about losing our relationship with them. 08:02.217 --> 08:03.238 [SPEAKER_00]: And so what does that look like? 08:03.258 --> 08:07.181 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm just going to kind of lay out a little bit of my thoughts. 08:07.241 --> 08:09.443 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, I could probably talk about this for a very long time. 08:09.723 --> 08:14.327 [SPEAKER_00]: But what I have noticed is that we have to approach our boys a bit individually. 08:15.187 --> 08:18.270 [SPEAKER_00]: And we're going to have maybe boys that enjoy kind of maybe talk. 08:18.290 --> 08:20.672 [SPEAKER_00]: They're more of a verbal processor and might have ones that are quieter. 08:21.072 --> 08:25.976 [SPEAKER_00]: And we really, as I have noticed, especially as they got to be later teens and young adults. 08:26.857 --> 08:32.041 [SPEAKER_00]: that I have to just step back and I have to let them take a little bit of the lead in the relationship. 08:32.522 --> 08:35.804 [SPEAKER_00]: When they feel like talking, I stop what I'm doing and I listen. 08:36.104 --> 08:43.590 [SPEAKER_00]: Even if it's late at night and I'm tired or even if I'm in the middle of getting some chores done, I'm really it, you know, in the groove and I'm going to get this, I'm almost done with this one chore. 08:43.610 --> 08:44.231 [SPEAKER_00]: They start talking. 08:44.291 --> 08:45.652 [SPEAKER_00]: No, put it down. 08:46.072 --> 08:46.873 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not important. 08:47.433 --> 08:48.634 [SPEAKER_00]: Phone in my hand, they start talking. 08:48.795 --> 08:50.256 [SPEAKER_00]: No, turn it off, put it aside. 08:51.337 --> 08:55.400 [SPEAKER_00]: And so when they are ready to engage, let's engage with them and be completely there. 08:57.343 --> 09:12.432 [SPEAKER_00]: Let me follow that up and say that in my perspective with my experience that as they get older, so specifically the ages that my boys are, they will sometimes maybe in vulnerable moments, share things with you, and I have found that it is better. 09:13.192 --> 09:18.253 [SPEAKER_00]: to really be careful of the timing of when or if you bring that back up. 09:18.833 --> 09:20.554 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it's better not to bring it back up. 09:20.674 --> 09:21.314 [SPEAKER_00]: Let them bring it up. 09:21.334 --> 09:33.517 [SPEAKER_00]: They just might have had a moment of kind of weakness of letting you in, not that it's weakness, but a vulnerability, extra, being like that and sharing something with you and they may be overshared and they may be a little embarrassed. 09:33.537 --> 09:38.578 [SPEAKER_00]: And as long as it's not a sin issue, it's not a big concern, then just kind of let it go. 09:39.398 --> 09:40.980 [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes they'll bring it up again. 09:41.480 --> 09:54.311 [SPEAKER_00]: Now that is something that is of great concern, maybe it's a time to sit down, maybe it's a time to mention it to your husband and allow him, then to take the lead on that and communicating with them, talking them through whatever the situation is. 09:54.971 --> 09:57.754 [SPEAKER_00]: But I have just found that it is sometimes better as they get older. 09:57.794 --> 10:02.678 [SPEAKER_00]: Now I'm not saying a team between the age of 14 and maybe 18. 10:02.838 --> 10:03.879 [SPEAKER_00]: This doesn't apply to them. 10:04.139 --> 10:04.780 [SPEAKER_00]: We'll go back to them. 10:05.816 --> 10:13.502 [SPEAKER_00]: but I just kinda let them take the lead in the relationship as far as they may be the amount of time that they have to spend with me and the things that they want to do. 10:13.562 --> 10:18.166 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, this doesn't mean that I don't bring things up and say, hey, do you wanna do this or I need to run this errand? 10:18.286 --> 10:28.794 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you wanna come with me or hey, I found some ice cream in the freezer, I wanna go sit outside in the back and share the ice cream with me, that kind of thing and just looking for those moments to bond with them. 10:29.675 --> 10:31.396 [SPEAKER_00]: And when you are with them, just be all in. 10:31.936 --> 10:43.461 [SPEAKER_00]: So now let's go back and talk about the time of kind of handing over the reins to dad and up to maybe we'll just say graduating from homeschool. 10:43.501 --> 10:44.642 [SPEAKER_00]: So probably about 17, 18 years old. 10:48.097 --> 10:49.598 [SPEAKER_00]: Boys can unicate very well. 10:49.618 --> 11:04.425 [SPEAKER_00]: I just remember my husband when we just learned this years ago, and I'm sure you've heard it too, is that they will really open up, so men together doing something, that when they are shoulder to shoulder, maybe they don't have to be exactly shoulder to shoulder, but basically it's just a way of saying they're working on something together. 11:05.025 --> 11:10.427 [SPEAKER_00]: Women are more of eye to eye and face than each other and that's how we're going to communicate. 11:10.547 --> 11:14.989 [SPEAKER_00]: Men will talk and become open and vulnerable with one another when they are working on something. 11:15.249 --> 11:19.591 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe they're splitting wood or maybe they are putting together a puzzle at anything in between. 11:19.611 --> 11:20.731 [SPEAKER_00]: They're playing golf. 11:20.751 --> 11:21.592 [SPEAKER_00]: They're playing a sport. 11:21.612 --> 11:22.632 [SPEAKER_00]: They're going for a walk. 11:22.652 --> 11:23.873 [SPEAKER_00]: They're driving in the car. 11:24.433 --> 11:27.294 [SPEAKER_00]: And so that applied also, that can also apply to mom. 11:27.694 --> 11:30.916 [SPEAKER_00]: When you're driving, maybe picking them up from work or dropping them off at work, 11:34.517 --> 11:35.317 [SPEAKER_00]: can't see each other. 11:35.777 --> 11:37.698 [SPEAKER_00]: They'd be like, hey, mom, what do you think about this? 11:38.478 --> 11:39.438 [SPEAKER_00]: And we have a great conversation. 11:39.518 --> 11:41.839 [SPEAKER_00]: Pull into the driveway and sometimes sit there for a while and talk. 11:42.599 --> 12:00.962 [SPEAKER_00]: And so it is good to be a little bit quieter when it comes to boys and listen, my boys get loud and rowdy and I know I can throw out quick little quips and I can say things and jump in the moment and honestly they're hilarious and my little things I think are very brilliant and 12:04.650 --> 12:13.091 [SPEAKER_00]: But I have to watch my words, watch what I communicate, how I say things to them in an attempt to not cut them down. 12:13.592 --> 12:16.672 [SPEAKER_00]: There's also a need, a growing need for respect. 12:17.112 --> 12:21.553 [SPEAKER_00]: But then there's also this fact that we're still a parent and guiding them up to a certain point. 12:21.573 --> 12:29.734 [SPEAKER_00]: So we're right now talking about the teen years, not necessarily them as a young adult where that kind of shifts in your more of a cheerleader and assistant. 12:29.934 --> 12:32.615 [SPEAKER_00]: And but younger, you're guiding in your, 12:34.035 --> 12:37.357 [SPEAKER_00]: just kind of providing them with a lot more maybe discipleship. 12:38.138 --> 12:57.430 [SPEAKER_00]: And I know as a homeschool mom this this can kind of be a little bit hard because we are spending most of the time with them and and you be like oh well dad's supposed to take over she's supposed to do all the education well we didn't do that because dad was busy working so therefore it was me and it would come to points where I had a lot of contention sometimes with the boys or just a little contention and 12:58.911 --> 13:03.234 [SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, sometimes I just didn't even know how to do it and I would just say do you want to have a conversation with your father? 13:03.674 --> 13:08.057 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, at this time that both of my boys were growing through their teen years, my husband was working from home. 13:08.097 --> 13:14.301 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes he would travel, but most days he was home and I would say, do you have a conversation with your father and they would say no. 13:15.281 --> 13:18.463 [SPEAKER_00]: And they would straighten up because they knew that that conversation was going to be long. 13:18.744 --> 13:26.829 [SPEAKER_00]: Therefore, if they were giving me attitude about the math lesson, not cooperating, making it really difficult for me to provide them with an education. 13:27.589 --> 13:32.630 [SPEAKER_00]: They knew that it'd be better to cooperate, get through the lesson, do your work, and then move on to the next thing. 13:32.730 --> 13:38.712 [SPEAKER_00]: As opposed to going up to Dad's office and possibly having a 20-minute conversation, and then everything is set back 20 minutes. 13:38.732 --> 13:45.913 [SPEAKER_00]: Therefore, they don't have time to go and do the fun things that they want to do afterwards, as soon because they spent that time talking to Dad. 13:46.574 --> 13:47.954 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it was a non-negotiable. 13:47.974 --> 13:49.174 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, nope, you can go and talk to Dad. 13:49.534 --> 13:55.656 [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes it wasn't able to be interrupted, and we have to wait for the end of the day for him to have a conversation with them. 13:56.582 --> 14:00.905 [SPEAKER_00]: But I just, in general, so I don't want this to be too long, because I've never said I only have about 15 minutes. 14:00.925 --> 14:01.465 [SPEAKER_00]: So then I get to run. 14:03.126 --> 14:09.870 [SPEAKER_00]: It is not guaranteed in a, definitely should not happen that you lose your relationship with your son. 14:10.270 --> 14:12.012 [SPEAKER_00]: It should just be different. 14:12.692 --> 14:20.377 [SPEAKER_00]: They will get to the point where they are bigger than you, where they are stronger than you, and they come over, and they just, you know, give me a big bear hug, and it's just, it's different. 14:20.537 --> 14:23.378 [SPEAKER_00]: And I stop sometimes and think, you used to fit just in the, 14:25.880 --> 14:30.227 [SPEAKER_00]: You actually used to fit just as a baby in my arms used to be able to sit on my lap. 14:30.868 --> 14:31.789 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's just different. 14:31.809 --> 14:36.096 [SPEAKER_00]: We have to remember that our boys are going to live most of their lives as men. 14:36.637 --> 14:37.979 [SPEAKER_00]: And therefore we want to equip them. 14:38.039 --> 14:40.323 [SPEAKER_00]: We want to give them that foundation. 14:42.299 --> 14:47.122 [SPEAKER_00]: You as the mom, you are always going to be their first love. 14:47.462 --> 14:52.425 [SPEAKER_00]: You are going to teach them what it is to be a woman and how to treat a woman. 14:52.545 --> 14:54.306 [SPEAKER_00]: Remember that example of walking through a parking lot? 14:54.326 --> 14:55.186 [SPEAKER_00]: My boys are always watching. 14:55.286 --> 15:03.491 [SPEAKER_00]: I taught them how to be a gentleman, how to be chivalrous, how to open doors, and how to watch out for women and protect them and provide for them. 15:03.911 --> 15:06.133 [SPEAKER_00]: And we get that opportunity to do that. 15:07.093 --> 15:11.301 [SPEAKER_00]: And if it is hard at times, especially during the teen years, it doesn't mean it's always going to be hard. 15:11.842 --> 15:13.686 [SPEAKER_00]: You just stay faithful. 15:14.187 --> 15:16.251 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you don't know how to 15:17.985 --> 15:22.086 [SPEAKER_00]: work on this relationship, how to be in a relationship with him at a certain age, just ask him. 15:22.806 --> 15:25.047 [SPEAKER_00]: Just say, hey, I'd like a talk, talk a little bit later. 15:25.207 --> 15:28.628 [SPEAKER_00]: And when you have the opportunity to be in evenings for some reason, teams come awake and they want to talk. 15:29.468 --> 15:45.493 [SPEAKER_00]: And say, hey, can I before you go to bed, can I come into your room and we can have a conversation or, hey, do you want to go for a walk and we can just talk and just say, hey, you know what, I'm struggling, like, I don't, I don't know where I fit into this, you know, with maybe your sports or your hobbies and what you're doing and I don't want to be overbearing. 15:46.493 --> 15:47.674 [SPEAKER_00]: How can I do this for you? 15:47.714 --> 15:48.154 [SPEAKER_00]: How can we? 15:48.174 --> 15:55.618 [SPEAKER_00]: And if the when they know that you care, that you want to maintain a relationship and you want to work with them on that, that's just wow. 15:56.299 --> 15:57.159 [SPEAKER_00]: That's going to make a difference. 15:57.599 --> 16:01.842 [SPEAKER_00]: Even if you get so many things wrong, and when you do apologize, if they say mom. 16:02.790 --> 16:09.812 [SPEAKER_00]: I'd like you not to be so overbearing in this certain area, or mom and my friends come over, can you not try to like be cool or something like that? 16:09.952 --> 16:13.113 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you mess up, then afterwards, just be like, dude, I'm so sorry. 16:13.814 --> 16:14.454 [SPEAKER_00]: I forgot about that. 16:14.694 --> 16:16.175 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna try to do better, okay? 16:16.495 --> 16:23.237 [SPEAKER_00]: And then pray that Holy Spirit reminds you a little bit sooner, and just I think humility goes a really long way. 16:23.617 --> 16:26.499 [SPEAKER_00]: But I don't want you to be scared about losing your relationship with your son. 16:26.519 --> 16:27.800 [SPEAKER_00]: You're not going to lose your relationship. 16:28.220 --> 16:30.441 [SPEAKER_00]: It's going to shift and it's going to change. 16:31.002 --> 16:35.064 [SPEAKER_00]: And I know that eventually I'm not in a season of my boys getting married. 16:35.085 --> 16:38.347 [SPEAKER_00]: And I know it's going to be very different at that point. 16:38.467 --> 16:41.349 [SPEAKER_00]: So I want you to cherish this time that you do have. 16:41.369 --> 16:46.892 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, eventually we hope we pray that our boys find a wonderful woman and get married. 16:46.932 --> 16:50.715 [SPEAKER_00]: And they begin their own life and we're never going to not be. 16:51.315 --> 16:52.036 [SPEAKER_00]: in their lives. 16:52.076 --> 16:52.816 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just going to be different. 16:52.836 --> 16:55.779 [SPEAKER_00]: There's going to be a number, another, number one woman in their life. 16:56.219 --> 17:00.682 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, we want to make sure that going into that, that you have a good relationship. 17:00.702 --> 17:11.511 [SPEAKER_00]: And again, just going back, asking them, and apologizing, and being on the same page of their husband having conversations, and you could even just say to him, like, I don't know, am I doing this or am I too overbearing? 17:11.671 --> 17:12.692 [SPEAKER_00]: Am I not? 17:13.032 --> 17:15.574 [SPEAKER_00]: Am I doing it being too laid back about this? 17:16.014 --> 17:16.795 [SPEAKER_00]: What do you think? 17:17.055 --> 17:18.917 [SPEAKER_00]: And it should be a joint. 17:20.004 --> 17:25.491 [SPEAKER_00]: partnership, obviously with your husband of raising these boys into men, but please don't be scared. 17:25.812 --> 17:27.173 [SPEAKER_00]: Continue to pray about it. 17:27.614 --> 17:28.335 [SPEAKER_00]: Read books. 17:28.355 --> 17:34.242 [SPEAKER_00]: There's tons of great books, especially even ones that come from a Christian perspective that have to do with moms and sons and 17:34.883 --> 17:40.007 [SPEAKER_00]: get your hands on some of those, ask your friends, and read those, and then put them into practice. 17:40.367 --> 17:53.878 [SPEAKER_00]: I think when your boys know that you are trying and you want to have a really good relationship with them, that means that means a lot to them, even if they don't say often, even if they're a young man of few words, even if they just kind of run to answer something like that, that's okay. 17:54.258 --> 17:58.420 [SPEAKER_00]: remember that you are their first love and they will always love you. 17:58.560 --> 17:59.401 [SPEAKER_00]: So don't worry about that. 17:59.421 --> 18:02.202 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, so today's episode is coming out on July 2nd. 18:02.222 --> 18:04.883 [SPEAKER_00]: Therefore, in two days, is July 4th? 18:05.003 --> 18:05.784 [SPEAKER_00]: It is a 250th. 18:07.004 --> 18:08.145 [SPEAKER_00]: Is it birthday anniversary? 18:08.165 --> 18:10.306 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what they're calling it. 18:10.326 --> 18:12.387 [SPEAKER_00]: Of United States and how exciting. 18:13.048 --> 18:19.471 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, I was born in 1976 and so they called us the bicentennial babies because we were born at 200. 18:22.233 --> 18:23.515 [SPEAKER_00]: I am obviously 50 years old. 18:23.535 --> 18:24.797 [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't been shy about saying that. 18:25.158 --> 18:31.770 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's kind of exciting to obviously I didn't remember that at all, but just to kind of have that connection to it and then this year. 18:31.810 --> 18:34.114 [SPEAKER_00]: But we are planning on having a 18:35.171 --> 18:44.457 [SPEAKER_00]: picnic kind of a thing later in the day and let my boys show up all all their fireworks and that kind of stuff and just invite a bunch of friends over and have a little bit of a cookout and enjoy that time. 18:44.477 --> 18:49.159 [SPEAKER_00]: But I just pray that you are doing well, this entering into July. 18:49.299 --> 18:51.281 [SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, happy July 4th. 18:51.301 --> 18:52.281 [SPEAKER_00]: Happy Independence Day. 18:52.341 --> 18:57.064 [SPEAKER_00]: I hope that your family is able to celebrate no way that makes it a memorable day for you guys. 18:57.164 --> 19:00.006 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's pretend that this is kind of like a letter and I can do a PS. 19:00.286 --> 19:01.347 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to add that to this. 19:02.247 --> 19:08.609 [SPEAKER_00]: I stopped that episode and I went and ran an errand with my son and I was just thinking about something that I wanted to add. 19:09.229 --> 19:11.610 [SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to add to have fun with your son. 19:12.170 --> 19:14.151 [SPEAKER_00]: You know boys, they like to have a good time. 19:14.571 --> 19:18.892 [SPEAKER_00]: Now some personalities like a good time certain ways and others a different way. 19:19.292 --> 19:19.972 [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't matter. 19:20.373 --> 19:28.155 [SPEAKER_00]: Meet your boy where he is and whatever season whatever age he is at and whatever his personality and whatever that kind of looks like for him. 19:28.795 --> 19:31.458 [SPEAKER_00]: have fun with him, suggest fun. 19:31.879 --> 19:40.048 [SPEAKER_00]: And as they get older, they be say, they're going to go somewhere and you know that it's not going to be weird for you to tag on like, hey, can I come? 19:40.508 --> 19:46.054 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it might be like, you can tell right away they're kind of like, oh, I don't know about that, but sometimes I have a shock my voice and they're like, 19:46.947 --> 19:47.567 [SPEAKER_00]: You want to come? 19:47.747 --> 19:50.148 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like sure and they were like okay. 19:50.408 --> 19:51.848 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, we're leaving in five minutes. 19:51.968 --> 19:52.408 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like cool. 19:52.568 --> 19:52.868 [SPEAKER_00]: All right. 19:52.928 --> 19:53.488 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll come with you. 19:53.848 --> 20:08.251 [SPEAKER_00]: Now Good, I'm not gonna give you details, but there was a timer too that I kind of looked around that I was like I don't know if I should be here right now or I in general actually I'm like, I don't know if they should be here doing this right now Let's just say go cards and a certain parking lot was involved. 20:08.431 --> 20:14.732 [SPEAKER_00]: I was like I thought that this was gonna be completely Legal and okay and anyway everything was okay 20:16.053 --> 20:30.674 [SPEAKER_00]: So you can find yourself in some situations when you offer to come, but for example, maybe you have an older son and like my 21-year-old wants to pick up a car from Facebook Marketplace since two hours away Could say hey, do you need another driver or can I tag along with you and there might be surprises? 20:30.674 --> 20:35.179 [SPEAKER_00]: like, listen, I'll pack lunch or hey, I'll pay for lunch along the way, I'll grab the snacks or whatever it is. 20:35.579 --> 20:45.289 [SPEAKER_00]: But find ways to be able to connect with them, to have fun, that kind of fun leads to memories and it doesn't always matter that what you're doing maybe sometimes isn't fun in the moment. 20:45.389 --> 20:48.513 [SPEAKER_00]: Later on, you kind of look back and you're like, we shared this moment together. 20:48.993 --> 20:57.617 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, we also have to be careful that we don't focus on the fun too much, and always just being the fun mom, because our boys, they still need a mother. 20:57.898 --> 21:03.901 [SPEAKER_00]: A mother no matter what their age is, whether they're two, 12, 22, 32, they still want a mother. 21:03.921 --> 21:08.583 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's good to have fun and have a good time with them, but to also balance that with being a mom. 21:08.643 --> 21:10.564 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's my final encouragement. 21:10.624 --> 21:12.665 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that I am officially done with this episode.