WEBVTT 00:02.417 --> 00:03.518 [SPEAKER_00]: Christian parenting. 00:05.859 --> 00:16.485 [SPEAKER_00]: It's hard to believe, but it has been a month since our latest homeschool graduation ceremony in party and day was a blur, a crazy fun to be honest. 00:17.285 --> 00:24.169 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't even get a chance to talk to some people and kind of walking through it, but like, oh, I think I saw so-and-so, and so we were kind of recounting who was there. 00:24.189 --> 00:26.491 [SPEAKER_00]: There was just so many people and it's open-house, come and go. 00:27.031 --> 00:28.732 [SPEAKER_00]: But that happened a month ago. 00:29.092 --> 00:35.237 [SPEAKER_00]: and we include a ceremony in that and I'll put a link in the show notes for you just my suggestion. 00:35.497 --> 00:43.503 [SPEAKER_00]: Things that I have learned after our first graduation and then I repeated that but tweaked it for the second and then also for the third and I'm so glad that I have done. 00:43.863 --> 00:46.365 [SPEAKER_00]: The things I mentioned that episode and I will link that in the show notes. 00:46.905 --> 01:00.912 [SPEAKER_00]: but there was something that my most recent homeschool graduate said during his little speech, we'll say an air quote speech has talked with his sharing that he did, and it really surprised me, and I wanted to share that with you here today. 01:03.223 --> 01:05.444 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Little By Little Home School Podcast. 01:05.604 --> 01:12.788 [SPEAKER_00]: I am Lee Nguyen and recently as I just mentioned graduated our homeschool graduate and that was our final homeschool graduate. 01:12.808 --> 01:32.157 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll tell you in a moment where this exact setting was but my husband in a moment of sharing with the public about our homeschool said that when I came and told him that I felt that God was calling us to homeschool, his thought was, well I mean she really wants to but I really don't think she's patient enough. 01:33.057 --> 01:35.998 [SPEAKER_00]: And so he knew me the best and I knew myself as well. 01:36.038 --> 01:37.679 [SPEAKER_00]: I knew I wasn't patient enough. 01:37.699 --> 01:52.784 [SPEAKER_00]: I think the Lord That God is patient enough and the Holy Spirit will do a work in those of us that come into homeschool thinking that and I'm pretty much Like you and unlikely convert to homeschooling, but yet here I am on the other side of it. 01:52.884 --> 02:00.967 [SPEAKER_00]: The journey is finished But I am still wanting to pour into you and that is why this podcast exists so let's get into today's topic 02:03.504 --> 02:26.731 [SPEAKER_00]: As I mentioned a moment ago, we do a ceremony during our home school graduation party and again that episode is going to be in the show notes listen to it whether you have a graduate maybe not for 12 years or you have a graduate in just a couple of years I think there's some good nuggets for everybody to be able to just glean from what I have learned because to be honest and I say that I'm pretty sure in this episode I tried doing some research and finding 02:27.151 --> 02:29.692 [SPEAKER_00]: some information and I just didn't. 02:29.853 --> 02:39.518 [SPEAKER_00]: And doing a big graduation with a bunch of other people, other homeschoolers that we didn't really know, that just didn't fit our style and really are purpose in homeschooling. 02:39.878 --> 02:43.780 [SPEAKER_00]: And so listen to that episode, but let's try right now the layout of our ceremony. 02:43.860 --> 03:00.176 [SPEAKER_00]: Our parties have been in the afternoon and so we'll say like a time of 330 show up and we'll do our ceremony at four with a maximum of 30 minutes is my goal and so the layout goes my husband welcomes everybody to it and then I have an opportunity to speak into share along with that. 03:00.196 --> 03:06.323 [SPEAKER_00]: I kind of give some housekeeping and do some information about when are we going to start grilling and when we're going to eat and all that kind of stuff. 03:06.943 --> 03:10.525 [SPEAKER_00]: And then the graduate has an opportunity to share. 03:10.605 --> 03:14.187 [SPEAKER_00]: And so we've asked all three of our kids just even just a couple of minutes. 03:14.607 --> 03:15.788 [SPEAKER_00]: Some have spoken for longer. 03:15.848 --> 03:18.189 [SPEAKER_00]: We're like, we recommend having some type of notes. 03:18.249 --> 03:20.150 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe at all written now or some type of notes. 03:20.610 --> 03:24.373 [SPEAKER_00]: But included in that, they are to share what their plans are for the next season of their life. 03:24.393 --> 03:25.813 [SPEAKER_00]: So that kind of helps avoid everybody asking individually. 03:25.833 --> 03:26.774 [SPEAKER_00]: They can just kind of get it out there. 03:26.794 --> 03:28.615 [SPEAKER_00]: And then people can come up and they can ask for more clarification or information. 03:28.635 --> 03:34.278 [SPEAKER_00]: And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and 03:34.578 --> 03:38.181 [SPEAKER_00]: engage with them about that next season instead of asking, what are you doing next? 03:39.222 --> 03:45.608 [SPEAKER_00]: So after the graduate then speaks, then my husband will share some and then he will close us out in prayer. 03:45.948 --> 04:00.141 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's, and that prayer that he does, we kind of gather around the graduate if those close by want to lay some hands on him and there's been, I think maybe in the past I might have done like, if you would like to pray you can but we decided this time that he was just going to pray and close us out and that's how it went. 04:01.126 --> 04:09.469 [SPEAKER_00]: this year because it was my last year of homeschooling before my husband did the prayer, he said, well, there's something else you want to share. 04:09.809 --> 04:11.509 [SPEAKER_00]: And so it was so very sweet. 04:11.529 --> 04:12.489 [SPEAKER_00]: They surprised me with this. 04:12.810 --> 04:18.051 [SPEAKER_00]: He and my other two kids shared, and obviously the graduate had shared. 04:18.091 --> 04:22.953 [SPEAKER_00]: So the older two, my daughter and my son, Beau shared a little bit, and then my husband shared 04:32.400 --> 04:34.761 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not gonna cry, but it was bittersweet. 04:35.342 --> 04:36.583 [SPEAKER_00]: It's been bittersweet. 04:37.563 --> 04:41.265 [SPEAKER_00]: The highs and the lows, I mean those lows don't even matter right now. 04:41.746 --> 04:48.670 [SPEAKER_00]: To be honest, you might be at a low season right now if you're homeschool or as you start your next homeschool year, there's gonna be low and hard times. 04:49.310 --> 05:01.778 [SPEAKER_00]: And the funny thing is that those, you take care of them, you don't ignore them and you work on the hearts of your children and your heart and you bring it to the feet of Jesus. 05:02.710 --> 05:05.811 [SPEAKER_00]: But all those things end up being washed away at the end. 05:06.071 --> 05:09.532 [SPEAKER_00]: And you look back and you say, I am so glad. 05:10.252 --> 05:14.274 [SPEAKER_00]: So glad that I didn't quit that I didn't stop at those times where I really wanted to. 05:14.734 --> 05:19.835 [SPEAKER_00]: So I got to compose myself here because I want to, not be speaking like I'm crying. 05:20.916 --> 05:24.677 [SPEAKER_00]: But anyway, that was very kind and very sweet and absolutely unexpected. 05:25.562 --> 05:31.708 [SPEAKER_00]: So let's go to the fact of, you know, he had this required, we'll say an air quotes speech, and he did a wonderful job. 05:32.208 --> 05:36.252 [SPEAKER_00]: But he said something that stuck out to me and then it surprised me. 05:36.853 --> 05:39.895 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I want to share with you the reaction to that. 05:40.756 --> 05:55.887 [SPEAKER_00]: and he said something to this effect that I know that you all may think you have the best family, but we, as he looked at myself and his father and his brother and his sister, he said, we have the best family. 05:56.447 --> 05:57.268 [SPEAKER_00]: It was super cute. 05:57.668 --> 05:58.849 [SPEAKER_00]: Everyone kind of giggled and 06:00.930 --> 06:03.571 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to talk more so about the conversation afterwards. 06:03.631 --> 06:20.275 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, he did expound upon that and he shared just overall what he has learned as being a part of our family and how we've all have encouraged and challenged and edified him and come alongside him and how really homeschool is a group effort of the family. 06:21.596 --> 06:29.718 [SPEAKER_00]: And then afterwards, I had a conversation with a family and there reaction to just that statement really stuck with me. 06:30.896 --> 06:39.598 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, when he said this, that I know that you all may think you are the best family, but I'm going to tell you right now that I have the best family. 06:40.819 --> 06:54.082 [SPEAKER_00]: This couple of these parents said that when he said that, their teens turned and looked at them and just in a very fun way, we're like, no, we have the best family. 06:55.216 --> 07:01.361 [SPEAKER_00]: And so you could take that like, oh, I'm offended, but no, I did not take offense to that at all. 07:02.561 --> 07:03.382 [SPEAKER_00]: I am not jealous. 07:04.163 --> 07:05.724 [SPEAKER_00]: I love it, actually. 07:06.504 --> 07:21.656 [SPEAKER_00]: And my hope and my prayer is that your children, whether they are younger or tweens or teens or young adults, that they look at your family and say, no, we have the best family, not in a competitive way, but because 07:22.356 --> 07:24.857 [SPEAKER_00]: They value each one of you. 07:25.197 --> 07:33.241 [SPEAKER_00]: You have been intentional in your parenting and in your homeschooling, and they can look and say, yeah, those families are fine and great. 07:33.281 --> 07:35.402 [SPEAKER_00]: They can go do their thing, but we have the best family. 07:35.822 --> 07:43.686 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, not in any type of mean or competitive spirit, but just one that says, I love our family. 07:43.766 --> 07:47.388 [SPEAKER_00]: And I truly want every single child to say that. 07:48.443 --> 08:05.314 [SPEAKER_00]: Unfortunately, we know you probably know people in your own real life or have witnessed strangers and has families interacting and you know that that's not going to be the experience of all parents and it's sad and it is just the state of our fallen world, unfortunately. 08:05.574 --> 08:14.660 [SPEAKER_00]: And we do what we can to the people that allow us to speak into their life and we pray for those that we don't have any type of relationship to be able to speak into their life. 08:15.420 --> 08:17.821 [SPEAKER_00]: but I'm not able to speak to those people. 08:17.981 --> 08:19.682 [SPEAKER_00]: I am able to speak to you though. 08:20.342 --> 08:24.724 [SPEAKER_00]: So why do I love that these other teens said that? 08:25.624 --> 08:28.105 [SPEAKER_00]: It shows that those parents are being intentional. 08:28.486 --> 08:31.087 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, they could have completely different priorities in us. 08:31.127 --> 08:34.728 [SPEAKER_00]: They could spend their free time in completely different and opposite ways. 08:35.249 --> 08:42.472 [SPEAKER_00]: Then we do, you could do things completely different than we do, but you're being intentional and you're reaching the hearts of your kids 08:43.452 --> 08:53.977 [SPEAKER_00]: You're having fun together when it's appropriate to have fun, but you're discipling when it's time to discipling, you're disciplining when it's time to discipline, you're educating when it's time to educate, which is pretty much all the time. 08:54.457 --> 08:56.338 [SPEAKER_00]: But I just love that. 08:56.558 --> 08:59.940 [SPEAKER_00]: It is a testament, and I don't think that we should ask our kids. 08:59.960 --> 09:02.962 [SPEAKER_00]: So don't get off this episode and be like, so do you think we have the best family? 09:03.002 --> 09:05.343 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, kids are going to probably say yes. 09:06.063 --> 09:18.148 [SPEAKER_00]: and I know that statistically, even children whose parents are not good parents, even children who have a mother who abuses them, still have this bond with them. 09:18.629 --> 09:20.089 [SPEAKER_00]: But so I'm not looking for that. 09:20.389 --> 09:22.991 [SPEAKER_00]: I know that that's possible and unfortunately it is. 09:23.911 --> 09:29.355 [SPEAKER_00]: But what I really hope and pray for is that your kids out of a genuine spirit say that. 09:29.415 --> 09:40.522 [SPEAKER_00]: And again, this isn't any claps on my back or anything like that like any applause for my husband tonight because there were many ups and downs and there was many times that we weren't quite sure are we doing this right? 09:40.602 --> 09:41.563 [SPEAKER_00]: Are we getting this right? 09:41.623 --> 09:43.384 [SPEAKER_00]: Is this going to turn out all right? 09:43.765 --> 09:48.508 [SPEAKER_00]: And we continue just to pray about decisions and keep our lines of communication between 09:51.910 --> 09:58.853 [SPEAKER_00]: and to grow in our personal relationship with God but also continuing to learn from those who have gone before us in parenting. 09:59.293 --> 10:11.579 [SPEAKER_00]: I even now am working to glean from parents who have children that are now married and or have an empty nest and talking to them about that and asking questions. 10:12.199 --> 10:17.602 [SPEAKER_00]: So that I am prepared and can be intentional as we move to that season in life. 10:18.522 --> 10:20.924 [SPEAKER_00]: So how do you get your team to say this? 10:21.765 --> 10:24.187 [SPEAKER_00]: Well first I'm going to suggest also in the show notes. 10:24.227 --> 10:33.694 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to put episode 365 which specifically talks about family culture and has I had mentioned saying that other family could be doing things completely different. 10:33.714 --> 10:41.441 [SPEAKER_00]: You could be a family that enjoys being inside where the temperatures regulated and do enjoy reading and tea time or 10:41.981 --> 10:45.102 [SPEAKER_00]: doing arts and crafts or puzzles, and not that you can't do that outside. 10:45.563 --> 10:50.405 [SPEAKER_00]: But then there might be another family who was like, hi, adventure, and they're wanting to travel and do all these things. 10:51.045 --> 10:53.326 [SPEAKER_00]: Neither one is right or wrong. 10:53.626 --> 10:56.908 [SPEAKER_00]: Your family culture is only wrong when it is not. 10:57.648 --> 10:58.848 [SPEAKER_00]: your family culture. 10:58.888 --> 11:02.849 [SPEAKER_00]: When you are trying to be a family or be somebody else that you are not meant to be. 11:03.209 --> 11:14.952 [SPEAKER_00]: Now our family cultures can grow as our children get older and it can change doesn't mean you say well we always just do it like this but you're feeling that your kids are resistant to that and that there isn't time to change. 11:14.992 --> 11:15.412 [SPEAKER_00]: There is. 11:15.772 --> 11:23.354 [SPEAKER_00]: There is a morphing of that and a growing of that and I could say that even my family's culture is different than it was 10, 15, 20 years ago. 11:25.394 --> 11:28.116 [SPEAKER_00]: So how do you get your team to say this? 11:28.456 --> 11:48.411 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, pour into your family culture, be intentional, continue to parent the child in front of you and to parent in a way that is individual, but also as a family, create traditions for your family, things that mark maybe significant moments in your life or just even birthdays, having specific things that you do on your birthday. 11:49.091 --> 11:49.211 [SPEAKER_00]: And 11:50.052 --> 12:06.498 [SPEAKER_00]: father's day was just recently and I hung up a banner that I have been hanging up for over probably 15 years and it's getting a little bit rady and it's kind of a little bit cheesy and a little baby-ish because when I first had it the kids were young but we still hang that up every father's day it's a tradition and so just little things like that. 12:07.018 --> 12:08.319 [SPEAKER_00]: have fun together. 12:08.619 --> 12:13.743 [SPEAKER_00]: If you're finding that, there's a lot of maybe fighting or arguing or contention in your family. 12:14.164 --> 12:16.365 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's because you just need to have some fun together. 12:16.826 --> 12:23.391 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you need to spend a day at an amusement park or you need to go to a lake and have fun at the and sit on the beach and play together. 12:23.751 --> 12:26.573 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's just you need to go and do something fun together. 12:27.254 --> 12:29.976 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that fun part really is is key there. 12:30.316 --> 12:32.738 [SPEAKER_00]: But also having just those talks 12:34.865 --> 12:40.754 [SPEAKER_00]: I have been a really big proponent of kids having a good relationship with one another I think this is really is definitely key. 12:41.375 --> 12:45.201 [SPEAKER_00]: And I know I did do an episode about siblings and maybe fighting and stuff like that. 12:45.977 --> 12:47.757 [SPEAKER_00]: But I grew up in a home, wonderful home. 12:48.137 --> 12:49.858 [SPEAKER_00]: My brother's and I just did not get along. 12:50.178 --> 12:51.978 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'll put that link in the show notes. 12:52.038 --> 12:54.138 [SPEAKER_00]: And you can kind of, I think I get a little bit more into it. 12:54.819 --> 12:56.579 [SPEAKER_00]: But I was like, I don't want that for my kids. 12:56.639 --> 13:00.299 [SPEAKER_00]: Now does that mean that they were perfect in love to each other and everything? 13:00.459 --> 13:00.720 [SPEAKER_00]: No. 13:01.280 --> 13:02.300 [SPEAKER_00]: But they learned to give grace. 13:02.320 --> 13:05.140 [SPEAKER_00]: They learned to work with one another and we worked through that. 13:05.580 --> 13:11.621 [SPEAKER_00]: But overall, it wasn't going to allow them to be rude to each other to hit each other or to speak unkind words to each other. 13:12.141 --> 13:13.582 [SPEAKER_00]: Did this happen behind my back sometimes? 13:13.822 --> 13:14.682 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, probably. 13:15.402 --> 13:17.703 [SPEAKER_00]: But in the end, they are friends. 13:18.623 --> 13:21.104 [SPEAKER_00]: And so how do you get your team to say this? 13:21.645 --> 13:23.205 [SPEAKER_00]: It's doing things together. 13:23.285 --> 13:25.086 [SPEAKER_00]: It's making your family a priority. 13:25.486 --> 13:31.469 [SPEAKER_00]: I really do have a big issue with teens that their friends are the most important people in their lives. 13:31.989 --> 13:33.850 [SPEAKER_00]: That was not important to us. 13:34.670 --> 13:39.631 [SPEAKER_00]: because I can see what it does if fractures the family and the kids are always running off to their friends' houses. 13:39.731 --> 13:41.612 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, no, doesn't mean you can't have friends. 13:42.132 --> 13:43.633 [SPEAKER_00]: But let's invite your friends over. 13:43.653 --> 13:46.413 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's be friends with those friends' families. 13:46.693 --> 13:54.316 [SPEAKER_00]: And when given the choice between hanging out with your friends and a Friday night, hanging out with your family, my kids still choose to hang out with us. 13:54.856 --> 13:57.617 [SPEAKER_00]: We have a standing family night on Friday nights. 13:57.657 --> 14:01.938 [SPEAKER_00]: That night has changed here and there, but currently it is Friday evening, is our family night. 14:02.598 --> 14:05.560 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I think it's just, it's just being intentional. 14:05.640 --> 14:06.141 [SPEAKER_00]: It's trying. 14:06.201 --> 14:07.502 [SPEAKER_00]: You're not going to be perfect. 14:07.942 --> 14:08.743 [SPEAKER_00]: Nobody's going to be perfect. 14:08.763 --> 14:15.708 [SPEAKER_00]: What the thing is, our kids as they get older, they begin to mature, grow in wisdom, and they understand grace more. 14:15.969 --> 14:18.430 [SPEAKER_00]: And they start to realize, I'm in data, perfect. 14:18.671 --> 14:23.314 [SPEAKER_00]: But they're trying, and they love me, and we have open communication, and just all those things. 14:23.835 --> 14:25.956 [SPEAKER_00]: So I go on, I mean, listen, this is episode 466. 14:25.996 --> 14:27.578 [SPEAKER_00]: Go listen to their 465 and you'll get the full picture. 14:32.041 --> 14:36.304 [SPEAKER_00]: I just wanted to share that when he said that and has nothing to do again with him saying that. 14:36.444 --> 14:46.171 [SPEAKER_00]: It's the fact that his other family came up and told me that in their kids were like, no, we had the best family and it was all in good fun and I was like, I love that. 14:46.291 --> 14:50.554 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, I got to share that with all of you because I want every single family. 14:50.574 --> 14:54.997 [SPEAKER_00]: I want your kids to say that about your family and I want every single one of you that's listening. 14:55.418 --> 14:59.060 [SPEAKER_00]: I want your kids to say that about your family and it is possible. 14:59.461 --> 14:59.921 [SPEAKER_00]: Keep at it. 15:00.101 --> 15:00.702 [SPEAKER_00]: I promise you. 15:01.482 --> 15:06.926 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, before I close out, I want to encourage you to go check out your homeschool blue blueprint, because why? 15:07.326 --> 15:11.949 [SPEAKER_00]: Because it will take care of your homeschool, and you're like, why would I need to do that? 15:12.049 --> 15:17.813 [SPEAKER_00]: I've been homeschooling for 5, 10, 15 years, or about to homeschool, and I've done enough research. 15:18.153 --> 15:18.653 [SPEAKER_00]: Here's the thing. 15:19.254 --> 15:21.435 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's get your homeschool in order, because guess what? 15:21.575 --> 15:23.076 [SPEAKER_00]: Now we do touch on family culture. 15:23.196 --> 15:25.118 [SPEAKER_00]: I do talk about that in your homeschool blueprint some. 15:25.758 --> 15:44.530 [SPEAKER_00]: But when your homeschool is all set up and you have your curriculum and you have your days figured out, you got your morning time, all those things figured out, you have more time to just concentrate on your family culture and the moments of connecting and the fun things and the discipling and the discipline because your homeschool is all set. 15:45.030 --> 15:48.051 [SPEAKER_00]: Now is a really great time to do this because, hey, it's July. 15:48.311 --> 15:51.032 [SPEAKER_00]: It's hot out and you can go through it on your own. 15:51.552 --> 16:00.455 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you wanted to, and a couple hours have everything done, you could take a tire day a couple of days, a couple weeks a month, but don't take too long because then you forget that you even had started it. 16:00.475 --> 16:02.736 [SPEAKER_00]: And I want you to be able to get through all of the lessons. 16:03.465 --> 16:07.609 [SPEAKER_00]: and then you can just sit back and say you know what we're just going to enjoy the rest of the summer and we jump in a homeschool. 16:07.729 --> 16:08.810 [SPEAKER_00]: I've got everything planned. 16:08.910 --> 16:13.735 [SPEAKER_00]: So the link for that is in the show notes we can go to littlebylittlehomeschool.com slash blueprint. 16:13.855 --> 16:16.398 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for joining me for today's episode.