WEBVTT 00:00.091 --> 00:00.897 [SPEAKER_00]: This is episode 510. 00:02.842 --> 00:05.983 [SPEAKER_00]: Most people that want to fix their eating are focused on the wrong problem. 00:06.523 --> 00:17.448 [SPEAKER_00]: I think the sugar binge is the issue, the food, the craving, the moment that they lost control, that's what they're trying to fix and look, they're not wrong, but here's what nobody is talking about. 00:18.008 --> 00:21.149 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not the binge itself that keeps the cycle alive. 00:21.890 --> 00:29.853 [SPEAKER_00]: It's the secret, the hiding, the shame that goes underground, the moment it's over and we run away and pretend we're busy with something else. 00:30.780 --> 00:35.107 [SPEAKER_00]: That's what sets you up for repeating this exact problem with food over and over again. 00:35.127 --> 00:40.254 [SPEAKER_00]: And in this episode, I'm going to show you exactly how to break that loot with a very simple technique. 00:40.675 --> 00:41.897 [SPEAKER_00]: So, let's dive in. 00:44.785 --> 00:49.388 [SPEAKER_00]: Even as a scientist, the nutritionist, I was secretly trapped in binge eating and hooked on sugar. 00:49.969 --> 00:53.471 [SPEAKER_00]: And let's be real, the so-called solutions can feel overwhelming. 00:53.911 --> 00:58.074 [SPEAKER_00]: Calorie counting restrictive diets, weight loss pills, surgery, and even injections. 00:58.815 --> 01:02.958 [SPEAKER_00]: By many lands down and the truth is, more nutrition facts are the answer. 01:03.398 --> 01:05.920 [SPEAKER_00]: It's understanding why we eat the way we do. 01:06.480 --> 01:09.323 [SPEAKER_00]: And you don't need to be perfect to achieve great health either. 01:09.943 --> 01:12.045 [SPEAKER_00]: That shift changed everything for me. 01:12.365 --> 01:21.532 [SPEAKER_00]: And now I share it here as the host of the real weight loss coach podcast, where it's my mission to help 1 million people break free from the YoYo diet cycle for good. 01:21.972 --> 01:31.160 [SPEAKER_00]: By bringing you the conversations that really matter in nutrition, health and psychology, and I'm not afraid to challenge mainstream health advice when it doesn't stack up. 01:31.860 --> 01:32.303 [SPEAKER_00]: Are you ready? 01:32.846 --> 01:33.348 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's begin. 01:36.663 --> 01:38.604 [SPEAKER_00]: What's up with Healthy Friends, welcome back to the show. 01:38.664 --> 01:51.708 [SPEAKER_00]: Remember, if you are interested in any of the work that we do or anything we say on today's episode, resonates in scroll to the show notes, click the button and you can chat to our team, get into our programs by our supplements, all of that kind of stuff. 01:51.788 --> 02:04.153 [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, anyway, we're talking about shame today and we're talking about that as the the piece that nobody really talks about when it comes to binge, emotional overreeding, you know, sugar addiction, all that kind of stuff. 02:05.353 --> 02:10.400 [SPEAKER_00]: really what happens for many people is that they take these behaviours and do them in secret. 02:10.761 --> 02:13.044 [SPEAKER_00]: And I have definitely done this in the past. 02:13.865 --> 02:18.331 [SPEAKER_00]: And interestingly, one of the personality types that we have in our quiz is the secret eater. 02:19.232 --> 02:22.277 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you've just thought shit, that's me, pop your hand up. 02:24.717 --> 02:30.780 [SPEAKER_00]: And maybe we can put the quiz in the show notes below, actually, as well, to see what kind of eta you are predominantly. 02:30.940 --> 02:45.847 [SPEAKER_00]: Actually, in that quiz, many of us will have two or three that feel like I could be that, I could be that, but whichever result you get, and I spent a lot of time on the psychology of this quiz, whatever result you get, that's the main person that you show up as most of the time. 02:46.647 --> 03:12.063 [SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, so the idea here is that shame and embarrassment and self-discussed and self-disgrace thrives in secrecy and this is why so many people eat their food in the car on the way in way home or they go off on lunch breaks and try and get as far away from the offices they can and eat whatever they want or they go to the supermarket by themselves or whatever it is, you know, 03:12.423 --> 03:21.648 [SPEAKER_00]: or they order Uber eats at home so nobody sees them or the second people have disappeared from the house they quickly order some stuff and smash it and get rid of the rubbish before people get home. 03:22.088 --> 03:35.215 [SPEAKER_00]: It's this loop of like there's a trigger and that trigger might just be your sugar addict and your blood sugar is like hey we usually have an addiction worth of you know an addiction load worth of sugar in our blood right now. 03:35.735 --> 03:40.879 [SPEAKER_00]: or it could be a scenario, a trauma, a memory, procrastination, whatever the emotion is. 03:41.439 --> 03:49.104 [SPEAKER_00]: And there's a trigger, and that leads to an urge, and that urge leads to a binge, or, you know, might not even be a binge, it might just be something you didn't want to do. 03:49.725 --> 03:52.787 [SPEAKER_00]: And then we feel this heaviness, this shame, this disappointment. 03:53.688 --> 03:56.670 [SPEAKER_00]: And then it's like, oh, we hide it, we hide the rubbish, 03:57.350 --> 04:06.413 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, we try and just pretend it didn't happen and we might even actually the binge might immediately be Proceded by really focused work or something really productive. 04:06.833 --> 04:10.914 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's often us running away from the truth, right, trying to hide it. 04:11.434 --> 04:16.976 [SPEAKER_00]: Then we say something like, I'll start again tomorrow, or I'll start again on Monday, and then we repeat this cycle, okay. 04:17.636 --> 04:19.037 [SPEAKER_00]: And I guess the key point here is that, 04:19.857 --> 04:21.418 [SPEAKER_00]: The binge isn't the only issue. 04:21.498 --> 04:38.749 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, that's the consequence of not dealing with the issue, but the secrecy is what keeps this alive and when we feel all of these feelings, it's that we might not even be intentionally trying to keep the secret, but the idea is that it is the secret because we're not talking to anybody about it, so it lives within us. 04:39.689 --> 05:00.575 [SPEAKER_00]: And there's a whole, there's many books written on this, but there's a whole conversation around meta-physical health consequences, which is that when you keep beliefs, when you keep trauma, when you keep feelings in, and you try and contain them and suppress them, and never verbalize them or release them from your body is that they can cause illness and disease, and they can absolutely cause cravings and binge eating. 05:00.595 --> 05:01.596 [SPEAKER_00]: There's no doubt about that. 05:02.436 --> 05:18.099 [SPEAKER_00]: And so what we want to do in this scenario is we want to start speaking aloud and this can be confronting, you might need to do that with therapist, you might need to do that with the coach, maybe you, that's the reason that you've done our work is you want to get comfortable speaking this stuff out loud because until it leaves your body. 05:18.940 --> 05:21.062 [SPEAKER_00]: until you exercise yourself, no, I'm just kidding. 05:21.423 --> 05:23.225 [SPEAKER_00]: But you're not going to solve this problem. 05:23.285 --> 05:25.007 [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to go round around on the hamster wheel. 05:25.367 --> 05:34.557 [SPEAKER_00]: And so what we want to do is turn this messy chaos that's within us into clarity, which means there's less emotional charge when we speak these things out loud. 05:35.097 --> 05:44.739 [SPEAKER_00]: And the good thing is if you speak them to someone, because you can do them, you can actually speak them on your own, but get them out of your body and journaling is actually a really functional way to do that. 05:45.039 --> 05:56.722 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like I need to externalize something or I need to extract something from myself so that I'm not carrying it, but I don't necessarily want to say it to anyone or it's just it's just on my mind right now and I need to get it off. 05:57.882 --> 06:03.604 [SPEAKER_00]: So so we want to we want to we want to get this out, but if we're speaking it out loud, even if you're in your own company. 06:04.439 --> 06:16.930 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like the idea here is connection like leads to calming the nervous system and it lowers the charge around compulsion and a desire to escape because when there's emotional connection or emotional truth. 06:17.781 --> 06:23.306 [SPEAKER_00]: There's actually like this acceptance within our self or maybe we're being accepted by that person. 06:24.247 --> 06:37.159 [SPEAKER_00]: But what we're trying to do here is really remove this private permission, this secret manipulation of the rules that nobody knows about because at the end of the day, like personal development work emotional binge over eating work. 06:38.300 --> 06:44.205 [SPEAKER_00]: If it doesn't work at 10 p.m. when you buy yourself on a Tuesday night. 06:45.625 --> 06:50.949 [SPEAKER_00]: Then it hasn't worked, or you haven't done the work, one of those two, right? 06:51.309 --> 07:08.583 [SPEAKER_00]: And so the goal of speaking this out loud and no longer doing this in secret, no longer burying these feelings beneath layers of sugar in private is that we want to move from I had an urge, you know, to I managed it, you know, this idea of accountability versus punishment. 07:08.643 --> 07:13.487 [SPEAKER_00]: Like accountability is speaking the truth and consciously choosing the next step, whereas 07:14.147 --> 07:20.970 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, getting caught up in a binge and then punishing yourself looks like binge self attack and self judgment and then a spiral. 07:21.010 --> 07:29.834 [SPEAKER_00]: You might even just keep binge eating, you know, or you might just go into self savagery or you might just be like, I'm a shit person and this is the self sabotage loop that you've been on. 07:30.275 --> 07:35.057 [SPEAKER_00]: So we want to be when the binge happens or when the thing happens, it doesn't have to be a total blowout. 07:35.317 --> 07:39.759 [SPEAKER_00]: But whatever it is that you feel guilty or shameful or embarrassed or disgusted about, you 07:41.980 --> 07:50.182 [SPEAKER_00]: And it might simply be you speaking aloud to yourself because it creates this, um, I was going to say split personality, but that is incorrect. 07:50.622 --> 07:52.903 [SPEAKER_00]: What I mean is it creates kind of two versions of yourself. 07:53.163 --> 07:59.705 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like when you speak it out loud, there's a higher version of you that is witnessing the version of you that's just made a bunch of mistakes. 08:00.105 --> 08:02.666 [SPEAKER_00]: And so we want to see ourselves and accept ourselves. 08:03.006 --> 08:07.510 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, accepting yourself is not giving yourself permission to be shit all of the time, right? 08:07.850 --> 08:11.573 [SPEAKER_00]: You have to distinguish between your higher self and your shadow self, right? 08:12.073 --> 08:19.800 [SPEAKER_00]: So, with accountability, we want to speak out loud to someone to ourselves or journal or whatever it is, be able to speak the truth of what just happened. 08:20.020 --> 08:22.882 [SPEAKER_00]: I just binge ate because I was triggered. 08:23.462 --> 08:26.265 [SPEAKER_00]: I just binge ate because I was suppressing memories. 08:26.405 --> 08:28.567 [SPEAKER_00]: I was trying to eat memories, maybe, whatever it is. 08:29.227 --> 08:31.368 [SPEAKER_00]: But what I'm going to do instead is I'm going to go for a walk. 08:31.408 --> 08:32.308 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to ring a friend. 08:32.348 --> 08:33.829 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to go to the gym. 08:33.889 --> 08:38.350 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to do thing that is helpful and healthy to help me get on the right path. 08:38.851 --> 08:42.672 [SPEAKER_00]: Not this self-attack self-loathing self-hatred blah, blah, blah, blah. 08:43.512 --> 08:44.573 [SPEAKER_00]: Followed with a spiral. 08:44.953 --> 08:46.834 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, all of those feelings might be true, by the way. 08:47.074 --> 08:49.915 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying live and denial of how you feel about yourself. 08:49.955 --> 08:55.237 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just saying that ownership is very different to self-attack and self-hatred, right? 08:55.717 --> 08:57.579 [SPEAKER_00]: Just being like, I've made some shitty choices. 08:57.599 --> 09:00.541 [SPEAKER_00]: I've let myself down right now, but I'm gonna change this. 09:01.101 --> 09:06.045 [SPEAKER_00]: Versus, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I hate myself, I'm worthless, I'm gonna just keep going. 09:06.806 --> 09:07.707 [SPEAKER_00]: See, very different. 09:08.047 --> 09:17.875 [SPEAKER_00]: The goal here is taking ownership, not humiliating yourself, because embarrassment, humiliation leads to more secrecy, because nobody wants to publicize that. 09:18.255 --> 09:24.420 [SPEAKER_00]: Nobody wants to share this with the world and some sentences that could be useful in this scenario. 09:25.441 --> 09:26.722 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm craving hard right now. 09:27.042 --> 09:28.803 [SPEAKER_00]: Keep me honest for 30 minutes. 09:28.823 --> 09:31.085 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you mind if we chat? 09:31.285 --> 09:33.847 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm managing some cravings and I need someone to speak to. 09:34.247 --> 09:35.108 [SPEAKER_00]: Or you did have a binge. 09:35.268 --> 09:35.829 [SPEAKER_00]: I had a binge. 09:36.449 --> 09:37.250 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not hiding it. 09:37.530 --> 09:42.234 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not proud of it, but the next thing I'm going to do to change that is I'm going to have some water. 09:42.254 --> 09:44.876 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to have some protein, a protein focus meal. 09:44.896 --> 09:45.236 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to go 09:47.858 --> 09:49.279 [SPEAKER_00]: because I've got my own back. 09:50.039 --> 09:53.281 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm speaking to myself like I'm on my own team, right? 09:54.542 --> 10:03.828 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you've got a time of the day, which is a bit risky, you might say to partner or kids or whoever, you know, I'm heading into the danger window tonight, because of A.B. 10:03.868 --> 10:11.572 [SPEAKER_00]: and C. variable, it means tonight's going to be intense, so I need your support and help in making sure that the environment is, 10:12.833 --> 10:16.094 [SPEAKER_00]: not pushing me towards the things that I don't really want to do right now. 10:16.374 --> 10:16.714 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 10:17.494 --> 10:23.096 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you've got the right people around, well, you've firstly got to choose the right people and the right container, and that might be a program. 10:23.376 --> 10:28.698 [SPEAKER_00]: Many people use our programs and our community as the place where, you know, they 10:29.878 --> 10:36.464 [SPEAKER_00]: Not judged and there's no food police and it's just calm kind reassuring accountability You got to pick that person in your life. 10:36.485 --> 10:38.687 [SPEAKER_00]: You've got to get hubby on board You've got to get wifey on board. 10:38.707 --> 10:43.971 [SPEAKER_00]: You've got to get whoever you live with on board To be on your team for helping you with your health, right? 10:44.011 --> 10:48.395 [SPEAKER_00]: If they're not on your team or speaking to you like they're on your team They're the wrong people 10:49.472 --> 10:49.632 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 10:49.652 --> 10:51.694 [SPEAKER_00]: And you're going to set rules for the communication as well. 10:52.075 --> 10:53.276 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't necessarily want advice. 10:53.316 --> 10:54.157 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to lecture. 10:54.177 --> 11:00.543 [SPEAKER_00]: I just need you to listen confirm what I want you to confirm and ask me a question like what's next? 11:00.623 --> 11:01.604 [SPEAKER_00]: What do you focus on? 11:01.824 --> 11:02.785 [SPEAKER_00]: What do you need for me? 11:02.805 --> 11:04.347 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, whatever that question is, okay? 11:04.988 --> 11:06.609 [SPEAKER_00]: And you don't need this to be everybody. 11:06.709 --> 11:10.153 [SPEAKER_00]: You just need it to be a small group and or one or two people. 11:10.802 --> 11:11.162 [SPEAKER_00]: That's it. 11:11.443 --> 11:12.544 [SPEAKER_00]: We want to verbalize. 11:12.564 --> 11:17.988 [SPEAKER_00]: We want to term shame into spoken word and release it from our body so that we don't repeat the cycle. 11:18.649 --> 11:18.969 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 11:19.270 --> 11:19.650 [SPEAKER_00]: That's it. 11:20.896 --> 11:24.019 [SPEAKER_00]: It's really important when it comes to embarrassing things about ourselves. 11:24.379 --> 11:37.410 [SPEAKER_00]: We can be incredibly disappointed with how we show up very often in relationships and arguments and conversations that we can work and sport whatever it is, but taking ownership for that and then steering the ship in the right direction is what we're trying to do here. 11:37.630 --> 11:46.778 [SPEAKER_00]: So let's release shame, release embarrassment and step into empowerment and ownership of moving a health in the right direction. 11:47.650 --> 11:52.138 [SPEAKER_00]: If you've enjoyed this episode, please do all of the things that make people want to listen to it. 11:52.478 --> 11:52.939 [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm. 11:53.280 --> 11:58.088 [SPEAKER_00]: Five stars writing reviews, sharing it in social media, and otherwise I'll catch you on the next one. 11:58.769 --> 11:58.990 [SPEAKER_00]: Bye. 12:00.853 --> 12:02.194 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, thanks for listening to the show. 12:02.574 --> 12:08.299 [SPEAKER_00]: If you enjoyed this episode or learned anything at all, the gift of your five-star rating would be incredibly helpful. 12:08.559 --> 12:10.701 [SPEAKER_00]: And what's even more powerful is if you write a review. 12:11.161 --> 12:19.128 [SPEAKER_00]: You can do it below each episode on Spotify, every time an episode comes out, and inside Apple Podcast, simply find the main page of this show with all the episodes on it. 12:19.488 --> 12:24.052 [SPEAKER_00]: Scroll to the bottom, hit write a review, share your amazing feedback, and then hit send. 12:24.472 --> 12:31.056 [SPEAKER_00]: It helps this show grow tremendously and allows me to successfully invite bigger and more famous guests each time we do the show. 12:31.656 --> 12:35.738 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, thank you for helping us climb the charts, climb the algorithm and help more people. 12:36.519 --> 12:38.660 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, and by the way, I have a short disclaimer as well. 12:39.160 --> 12:44.103 [SPEAKER_00]: I just wanted to quickly remind you that the information provided on this podcast is for general informational purposes only. 12:44.643 --> 12:53.870 [SPEAKER_00]: While we strive to bring you accurate and up-to-date content, it's important to note that a lot of this is mixed with opinions, stories, and ideas not supported by mainstream science or medicine. 12:54.450 --> 12:59.594 [SPEAKER_00]: Any advice or suggestions should not be considered a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 13:00.295 --> 13:05.539 [SPEAKER_00]: Always consult a healthcare provider before making any decisions about the health and wellness of you and your family. 13:06.099 --> 13:08.961 [SPEAKER_00]: Remember to, that what works for one person may not work for another. 13:09.522 --> 13:13.504 [SPEAKER_00]: And just as we promote on the show, each person is responsible for their own health decisions. 13:14.285 --> 13:18.314 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for tuning into the Real Weightless Coach podcast, and now the next episode. 13:18.635 --> 13:19.016 [SPEAKER_00]: Here it is!