[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a gay up name for a gay up podcast.
[SPEAKER_02]: Curtis Edward Jackson and Darby Lynn Cartwright are on that's a gay as podcast.
[SPEAKER_02]: And before we start a couple of ground rules, rule number one, you are not allowed to say how tired I look.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_03]: So we have to use our vocabulary and come up with other words.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, what's another word to describe how tired I look?
[SPEAKER_01]: I think you look the same.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think you're just tired.
[SPEAKER_02]: Drained.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, do you want to know why I'm so tired?
[SPEAKER_01]: Which could be a good thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I feel like you're going to tell us.
[SPEAKER_02]: I went to, well, I broke my rule of going to bed after 10 p.m. last night.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I went to an underwear party called VPL at precinct.
[SPEAKER_02]: Have you been?
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, but I do wear underwear.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, it's generally a party down there.
[SPEAKER_02]: So wait.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not wearing underwear, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: I really wear underwear.
[SPEAKER_02]: You fucking pig slut.
[SPEAKER_02]: So as the listeners know, we talk about Session Wallytay on the Substack halfway through.
[SPEAKER_02]: So maybe Darby will actually maybe Curtis will tell us what Darby's pussy just smelled like from you playing your lips like a violin down there.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been gay.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think my pussy joked me.
[SPEAKER_01]: What is VPL?
[SPEAKER_01]: So what do you do at a party like that?
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, thank you for being aware.
[SPEAKER_02]: It is, yeah, it's a party where if you wear a jock strap or underwear, they give you drink deals and it's basically like clothes, check and you stand in your underwear and you dance, dance, dance.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I haven't been in about four years.
[SPEAKER_02]: I was invited by a man that I have a bit of a crush on.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I went and I got home at two, 30 in the morning.
[SPEAKER_03]: This is like a therapeutic exercise.
[SPEAKER_01]: Wait, the band that you have a crush on is he's short and visibly Jewish.
[SPEAKER_02]: This feels targeted, but he's tall and not Jewish.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh.
[SPEAKER_02]: Not you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you saying, are you saying my husband?
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you telling my husband short?
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I was talking about the little tiny hot guy that dressed like a cartoon character that we met at Eliot's birthday party.
[SPEAKER_01]: Remember?
[SPEAKER_01]: Was his name?
[SPEAKER_02]: My friend Greg.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, Greg.
[SPEAKER_02]: Greg is a dear friend.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's so cute.
[SPEAKER_02]: Isn't he?
[SPEAKER_02]: And by the way, listeners, Greg is single.
[SPEAKER_02]: He lives in Los Angeles, California.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, he is gay in Jewish and such a catch.
[SPEAKER_03]: We're gonna make a match.
[SPEAKER_03]: We're going to make the colors call in.
[SPEAKER_03]: We're going to make a match.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, actually down for the like silver lake kind of vibe as you are wearing a bandana He was wearing a bandana and ironically and and honestly
[SPEAKER_03]: No, it looked great.
[SPEAKER_03]: I mean, you were a bandana recently.
[SPEAKER_03]: You did, thank you for that.
[SPEAKER_03]: In New York.
[SPEAKER_03]: You went to New York City and I said, you have to look good when you go to New York City.
[SPEAKER_03]: Here's the thing.
[SPEAKER_03]: So I made a word of bandana.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Rika, he is very good.
[SPEAKER_03]: He didn't know that it was actually a piss play bandana.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know, I know the colors.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that was it.
[SPEAKER_03]: Did you wear a yellow band?
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh, what you wear?
[SPEAKER_03]: It was red, right?
[SPEAKER_03]: No, it was black.
[SPEAKER_03]: What does that mean?
[SPEAKER_03]: It was actually a fish bandana, you know, the band fish.
[SPEAKER_03]: I do.
[SPEAKER_03]: H-I-S-H.
[SPEAKER_03]: It was a bandana from the 2018 fall.
[SPEAKER_01]: OK, all right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, but before I went to New York, I, you know, as I dress up like girl, I never think about dressing like boy.
[SPEAKER_01]: And because I'm the shape of a model, very tall, skinny, long, everything's so long.
[SPEAKER_01]: Curtis wants to dress me up like a little doll and so he picked out all my outfits for every day I was in New York.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is where everything he put together and see now I'm weeping over here because we're getting an insight into your actual gay marriage because people who follow you both kind of no Dru slash Darby as girl and Curtis as boy, but now we're getting boy boy gay mayor mayor
[SPEAKER_02]: In fact, some listeners might need a reminding of Darbylin Cartwright is a part of IMA show.
[SPEAKER_02]: The show, the amazing podcast.
[SPEAKER_02]: Show and Darby has been on this podcast.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is probably your third time.
[SPEAKER_02]: Darby is also the current guest on Confession Hole.
[SPEAKER_02]: My glory hole talk show that is on Instagram.
[SPEAKER_02]: Dot biz and Curtis is...
[SPEAKER_03]: I got idea that.
[SPEAKER_02]: You did and we're going to talk about that.
[SPEAKER_02]: You got the dot biz?
[SPEAKER_02]: We did it was a lot.
[SPEAKER_02]: We had to pay a lot of money.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then Curtis is a gorgeous act trust who has worked on many television series and also is married to a dark-wheeling cart right which could be a nightmare or a dream we will find out in this episode.
[SPEAKER_02]: In fact, let's do a few hard-hitting questions to get us into this gay ass interview.
[SPEAKER_02]: Curtis since so often the mic is stolen by your drag queen wife husband.
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to ask you the face.
[SPEAKER_02]: Or she owns it.
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to ask you a question before I go into the podcast question.
[SPEAKER_02]: Curtis Edward Jackson, your name sounds like you were not on the right side of history a couple of hundred years ago.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's almost giving plantation vibes.
[SPEAKER_03]: What's your response?
[SPEAKER_03]: Um, I have a very cultural name.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: Um, I share the name with 50 cent.
[SPEAKER_03]: The rapper.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, so now I'm canceled.
[SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: You are.
[SPEAKER_01]: I remember the first time I saw your name on like a TV or movie thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it was like Curtis Edward Jackson.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, you're a serial killer.
[SPEAKER_01]: Why three names?
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
[SPEAKER_01]: Darling Cartwright.
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, I didn't go by three names when we met.
[SPEAKER_03]: Why, I was using two names professionally, literally.
[SPEAKER_03]: So I do share the name with with 50 Cent.
[SPEAKER_03]: His name is Curtis Jackson, and he did register it with SAG, because he did some movie where he played like an Insomniac and lost 80 pounds or something.
[SPEAKER_03]: It was crazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: but do that.
[SPEAKER_03]: I used to use the name professionally professionally.
[SPEAKER_03]: I used to use the name Curtis Jackson and I had somebody who said like wait for movie.
[SPEAKER_03]: I said somebody who is like you're gonna have to change your name eventually when you join sag.
[SPEAKER_03]: So just start using your method.
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you ever think of like a different actor name?
[SPEAKER_03]: We went through this whole process together.
[SPEAKER_03]: We were talking about, should I be see Edward Jackson?
[SPEAKER_03]: Should I be Edward Jackson?
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, down to the good.
[SPEAKER_03]: Edward Edward?
[SPEAKER_02]: Does sort of ring true for you in a complementary way, but I think the most important point of this that we're missing is that my first sack job was on a television show with 50 cent in that as real.
[SPEAKER_03]: Really, okay, so then you know what shit.
[SPEAKER_02]: What 50 cent had a sketch comedy show on BET called 50 centrol and I played a fat phobic bank teller I mean, I got to tell you every single time.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's okay.
[SPEAKER_03]: Wait stop the audition or stop the stop the interview I need to know about the process of you getting this as an audition
[SPEAKER_01]: Eric.
[SPEAKER_01]: What?
[SPEAKER_01]: This is not my real accent.
[SPEAKER_01]: What did you promise him.
[SPEAKER_01]: Every time I come on this fucking gay ass podcast.
[SPEAKER_01]: May I have my mic?
[SPEAKER_01]: I learned something new about you that honestly, how do I say this?
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't want to like you, Eric.
[SPEAKER_01]: I viewed your, your hustle, your confidence as threatening.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, we're not going to get along.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then every time I'm with you, I learned something new that deepens my respect for you as a human.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the fact that last time I was on the show, I learned that you were the fucking, you were buddy the elf in the touring company of elf, which still blows my mind.
[SPEAKER_01]: I want you to know.
[SPEAKER_01]: And now you're saying that you were on 50 cents prank shows.
[SPEAKER_03]: That's comedy.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like now we're finding out that you're classically trained.
[SPEAKER_01]: Classically.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know all the grades.
[SPEAKER_01]: Praise.
[SPEAKER_02]: Check-off.
[SPEAKER_02]: Shakespeare and Curtis Jackson aka.
[SPEAKER_02]: I got to say it's incredible.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, thank you for really understanding how sad it is.
[SPEAKER_01]: What's he there?
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, he was there.
[SPEAKER_02]: And we shared I got a little improv that stayed in the final cut.
[SPEAKER_02]: So thank you for asking.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, you get a writing credit?
[SPEAKER_02]: No, absolutely not.
[SPEAKER_02]: I barely ever been paid to write.
[SPEAKER_02]: But, uh, no, I think we all three of us have a lot of lore, uh, because we've all three decided to join one of the most embarrassing industries on this planet.
[SPEAKER_02]: And yet we are here to say that we are survivors.
[SPEAKER_02]: In fact, both of you have a lot of trauma tales because you're both gay people, which is why I'm going to ask Curtis first and maybe Darby if I want the podcast question which is
[SPEAKER_00]: Who's fault is it that you're gay?
[SPEAKER_02]: Who do we blame courtesy of rejection?
[SPEAKER_03]: Honestly, we're to start.
[SPEAKER_03]: There's just so many people to think.
[SPEAKER_01]: You said someone last night that surprised me because I've never heard you reference him in my career.
[SPEAKER_01]: Coming, yeah, in your sleep.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, you're, well, do you want to save this?
[SPEAKER_03]: I have no idea where we're going to say it going.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're saving it.
[SPEAKER_03]: I forgot.
[SPEAKER_01]: We have a plan.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, this is all scripted for the audition.
[SPEAKER_03]: And I know my lines.
[SPEAKER_03]: Can we take the prompter back?
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you, Jeff.
[SPEAKER_01]: Love him.
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, crew.
[SPEAKER_01]: Love him.
[SPEAKER_03]: Love him.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: We love Jeff Bezos.
[SPEAKER_03]: Who made me gay?
[SPEAKER_03]: I mean, God, I guess, right?
[SPEAKER_03]: Because we're all in like made in his image.
[SPEAKER_03]: But my God, it's not gay.
[SPEAKER_03]: What, my God is so men.
[SPEAKER_03]: Gay.
[SPEAKER_03]: Hold on.
[SPEAKER_03]: Women can't be gay.
[SPEAKER_03]: I start to derail.
[SPEAKER_03]: Women cannot be gay.
[SPEAKER_03]: And here's why.
[SPEAKER_03]: No, I think if God exists, which it's really, really depressing to think about God existing.
[SPEAKER_03]: If he exists, he is the gayest man in the world.
[SPEAKER_03]: He's like, I'm gonna make all these little people and give them all this drama and like watch everything unfold, and they have to love me.
[SPEAKER_03]: And they have to tell me that they love me.
[SPEAKER_03]: And they have to build buildings where they go and tell me how much they love me.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like,
[SPEAKER_01]: That's gay as hell.
[SPEAKER_01]: I gay guy would give a kid cancer.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Just for the drama.
[SPEAKER_03]: And then be like, ask, give them, he gives them cancer and then says, beg me to take it away every night.
[SPEAKER_03]: I want you on your knees, begging me to take the cancer away.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm dripping.
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_03]: How gay is that?
[SPEAKER_02]: So are you trying to tell us that you were actually raised in a religious household?
[SPEAKER_03]: I was deeply, honestly, we went to an Episcopalian church every single Sunday.
[SPEAKER_03]: I served on the altar with my sisters and how accolite, my parents were involved in like doing readings for an online.
[SPEAKER_03]: An accolite is the people who were the robes and they carry like the crosses and the chemicals and the insentance.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, so I'm married to the groomed.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm married to a Catholic and you said,
[SPEAKER_03]: was it a piscopalian which uh which is it's more catholic than catholic as a joke.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well our services like almost two hours long and they do all the deep Latin and like yeah we went to uh we went to a funeral for his grandma last year last year, it doesn't matter and it was the long and it was so sad because the priest would get up and be like
[SPEAKER_01]: God, God hates you, God hates all of us, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: But how great was Hilda?
[SPEAKER_03]: Right?
[SPEAKER_02]: Hilda was great.
[SPEAKER_02]: And because he loved Hilda, he killed her.
[SPEAKER_03]: She was so much.
[SPEAKER_03]: She's like, ah, God, I have her back.
[SPEAKER_01]: He wanted her back.
[SPEAKER_01]: She was alive for a long time.
[SPEAKER_01]: Good for Hilda.
[SPEAKER_01]: Good for him.
[SPEAKER_02]: And by the way, the name of Hilda is giving gay icons.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I want to thank Hilda for her service.
[SPEAKER_03]: My grandmother, she believed that Jesus was a gay man.
[SPEAKER_03]: She's like, why was he always hanging out with those other men?
[SPEAKER_03]: She has a gay son.
[SPEAKER_02]: Wait, Hilda has a gay son, meaning you're uncle?
[SPEAKER_03]: My uncle.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and which side of the family is uncle, gay uncle?
[SPEAKER_02]: Mom's.
[SPEAKER_02]: So mom has a gay brother, which is sort of incredible.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I think the dramaturgical question is begging to be asked, which is when you came out Curtis.
[SPEAKER_02]: Was your mom like, it's all good?
[SPEAKER_02]: I've got a gay brother.
[SPEAKER_03]: She was like, I'm not again.
[SPEAKER_03]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, no, she caused the first one.
[SPEAKER_03]: No, my parents were, honestly, to answer your question, legitimately, I think my parents are probably responsible for me being gay, because my parents were incredibly encouraging.
[SPEAKER_03]: My parents were loving and supportive, and...
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, they were very science-minded, or my mom still is very science-minded.
[SPEAKER_03]: My dad died, so he's kind of just a concept now.
[SPEAKER_03]: But my mom and my dad, my dad was the dentist.
[SPEAKER_03]: My mom was in pharmaceuticals, she had her PhD, and her real science.
[SPEAKER_03]: She is like, like,
[SPEAKER_01]: autism to the man.
[SPEAKER_03]: My mom is very very very smart.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, my dad was very smart as well But they're all very science minded even my sister.
[SPEAKER_03]: She got her masters in public health like they're just very numbers and test tubes He's not a disappointment.
[SPEAKER_03]: No, he is and that's what's shocking because they were like oh, you don't want to do anything with numbers or test tubes
[SPEAKER_03]: like do you want to go put on wigs and high heels and play in the basement?
[SPEAKER_03]: Let's do it.
[SPEAKER_03]: So like we were given a big box of dress up to play with, which was like minksstoles and like clutches and muffs and like random old lady clothes and things.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well you know what?
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's important that we do in this chaos podcast, which is it's rare that we can talk about a straight man that is action on the right side of history, but when we do, we give them their flowers and your dad, allowing his gay son to dress up in a little stole down in the basement and be a dentist of all things.
[SPEAKER_02]: We are going to shout out your father and say, thank you for your service and letting Curtis see the gorgeous gay boy that he is.
[SPEAKER_03]: There's a story
[SPEAKER_03]: Um, when I was, oh, I don't know, like, three years old or something.
[SPEAKER_03]: We were at the library and there's a little hill that goes down to a playground by the library.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so she was walking me down the hill and she said, here, give me your hand.
[SPEAKER_03]: So I can walk you down the hill.
[SPEAKER_03]: And apparently, I said, in all earnestness, no, I'm a real man.
[SPEAKER_03]: And I wanted to walk down the hill by myself because I was a real man.
[SPEAKER_03]: and so later that night she was telling my dad the story over dinner and we had already like, you know, absconded to the basement to go play.
[SPEAKER_03]: And she's telling him the story and then all of a sudden clop clop clop, I come trouncing up the stairs from the basement in high heels with a scarf and a thing wrapped around my head and a purse dangling off me and I just kind of teeter out through the kitchen.
[SPEAKER_03]: And my mom goes, well, there goes our real man.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, the real man.
[SPEAKER_02]: I can.
[SPEAKER_02]: Real man, like pink and wear hooker heels at nine years old.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think this is actually a visual of your upbringing.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's, I can't help but compare and despair to Darby's upbringing because you're very old.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're very open about your religious background, which doesn't feel good.
[SPEAKER_03]: We were going to start off nice.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a very science lesson to further learn.
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you want to hear something super fucked up?
[SPEAKER_01]: So listener who is not familiar with me, but is still listening for some reason.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've fucked up family.
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't worry about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: But the first time I went to visit Curtis's family in Philadelphia.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was for Thanksgiving.
[SPEAKER_03]: And Drew was like, what is this holiday?
[SPEAKER_03]: We've never been thankful for everything I might have.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've never been thankful.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've done is regret my sin.
[SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, but they were obviously very friendly, very science, but very friendly, and he's dead.
[SPEAKER_03]: They're very science.
[SPEAKER_03]: So around the Thanksgiving table, my mom was like, would you like a slice of pie?
[SPEAKER_03]: And Drew was like, of course.
[SPEAKER_03]: She goes, how many decibels?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and it took me a couple of months, and I never got it, which is why I'm going to get a start from my dumpouts doing get the pie joke.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, we're listening.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're learning.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're doing we're at VPL last night.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_02]: I have no brain cells.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no brain cells.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, but the first time I went was that Thanksgiving, and I remember leaving there going like,
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my God, they don't, they're not in touch with their emotions, like my family.
[SPEAKER_01]: They don't, they don't emotionally talk.
[SPEAKER_01]: They don't talk deeper than just kind of like surface level stuff.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna, I'm gonna help them.
[SPEAKER_01]: Meanwhile, I was in that family, and their family's healthiest book.
[SPEAKER_01]: They are enjoying each other, they're supporting each other, and then they're living their own lives.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, that's fucked up.
[SPEAKER_01]: Your dad didn't even make you cry one.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_02]: Thanksgiving.
[SPEAKER_02]: I actually think you're speaking to an experience that a lot of us have because I married into Matt's family who are that they talk about nice things and I come from a family who obviously we love and our great people but like the way that we connect is like digging up old trauma or like, you know, like Matt has to like squeeze his butt hole when he comes to visit my family because it's
[SPEAKER_02]: Only vulnerable question after vulnerable question, and I think it's because I come from an oversharing fan with no boundaries and it sounds like yours took that to an extreme that might be what some people might call Abuse, but that is neither here nor there.
[SPEAKER_03]: It was Abuse.
[SPEAKER_03]: It was one of two pieces.
[SPEAKER_01]: Can I tell you about my abuse yesterday?
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm talking to a family member, not important, and apparently I hear through the great fine that my mother got a text that was gossipy about her kids and their lives.
[SPEAKER_01]: and it was not loving nor kind and so what is my mom do she takes a screen shot of it and sends it to the kids that this stranger was talking about and we're those instead of coming to their defense we're those kids you and your twin brother
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you know, I only have two people in my life and I was like, don't get involved, don't get involved, but I couldn't, I had to get involved.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I took the number from the screenshot because that person had blocked my brother when he tried to call.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, I'll do it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I sent a text and I said, the next time you want to gossip about Debbie's kids,
[SPEAKER_01]: I got something juicier for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Ask her about what her husband's doing with his male friends.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then what I say, I said something and I ended it with kind.
[SPEAKER_03]: So you met her messiness with messiness.
[SPEAKER_01]: I listen, I'm in trauma therapy and I can unpack that later and I don't if I had a light bar in front of me He's like I got to have some fodder for therapy.
[SPEAKER_02]: So he lives a life listen and I don't know the Bible Well, but something about those who cast stones.
[SPEAKER_03]: This is a shill gets stoned with Wait, who did cast a Sharon Stone and all those movies because we got to help them well if they're just a film showed her vagina He just has things to say about that.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I don't know what Jesus feels about stones, or Sharon stones, why we are in Vigine, but I do know that you both actually are gorgeous performers and I know that's an interesting segue from Darby calling a family friend at the con, but
[SPEAKER_02]: I just need to find out another important question before we cross over to the sub-sex side.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're asked about your nasty sex lives.
[SPEAKER_02]: Curtis, you've been seen in Chicago Fire, Chicago PD, 911 Lone Star.
[SPEAKER_02]: How do you feel about the police budget currently?
[SPEAKER_03]: Um, well, they pay me very well.
[SPEAKER_03]: So I'm all about it.
[SPEAKER_03]: No, uh, obviously abolish ice.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, but yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, let's, I would love to see a police procedure all that is like, um, like, I would let to see how we could do an anti-police police procedure all.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_02]: where they're all what do you mean?
[SPEAKER_03]: Like show the ridiculousness and the corruptness.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and like is it there?
[SPEAKER_02]: There was a show like that.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm fine with it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Brooklyn 99.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, Brooklyn 99.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but I'm thinking like not a comedy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, I like I think I think the pitch is great.
[SPEAKER_02]: But I think what's even more important on your resume is that it states.
[SPEAKER_02]: You did gymnastics competitively.
[SPEAKER_02]: Is that because your athletic or just gay?
[SPEAKER_03]: Can I be both?
[SPEAKER_03]: Um, I'm very in touch with my body.
[SPEAKER_03]: Let's just say that.
[SPEAKER_03]: I mean, taint some flexibility, some strength.
[SPEAKER_01]: I will say when we first started dating, I had never met in real life a person with his shape.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sameor.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I learned that it was a gymnastics body, because he shaped like a, like a Dorito on top.
[SPEAKER_01]: So wide ass shoulder, strong back, small ways, big button.
[SPEAKER_01]: it was so but like the proportions were so extreme that I was like oh my god he must have been a weightlifter for years but now he just flipped around like a baby.
[SPEAKER_03]: Wait, I was also a wrestler.
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh, that too.
[SPEAKER_01]: Wait, actually.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, sexually.
[SPEAKER_03]: I mean, here's the thing.
[SPEAKER_03]: We don't have to go into my whole history.
[SPEAKER_03]: We don't have to go into my whole.
[SPEAKER_01]: OK.
[SPEAKER_01]: But can you, you got that out of my whole private school and we had to do...
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't have to go into his whole anymore.
[SPEAKER_03]: We had to do sports.
[SPEAKER_03]: OK. And so we had to pick sports.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so I did a number of different sports.
[SPEAKER_03]: So I was across Goli.
[SPEAKER_03]: I played outfield and just kind of spun around and like picked the grass.
[SPEAKER_03]: Right.
[SPEAKER_03]: But I also wrestled.
[SPEAKER_03]: And I think that was the most engaging for me for some reason.
[SPEAKER_02]: I cannot believe you survived.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're a part of it.
[SPEAKER_02]: I might so my twin brother was it right I'm like I'm like an athlete.
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm I'm vicious.
[SPEAKER_02]: I can tell I think you have athlete privilege because I was like too busy trying to figure out a cocky accent as fake and an Oliver not to brag but meanwhile you are gay.
[SPEAKER_02]: Wait do it Give me the answer.
[SPEAKER_00]: I guess I'll
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not his song, but have you ever seen the Judy Garland Christmas special where they sing, consider yourself and Lorna left, fucks up the choreography, you know, she like, yeah, she's like eight years old and they're doing the back of our guns, so to yourself and she fucks it up and she's like,
[SPEAKER_01]: You can hear her like, DM it, Lorna.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then as her brother singing, she's like mowling his words, like really intently.
[SPEAKER_01]: Lorna, she looked very close.
[SPEAKER_02]: I was going to say, I know.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what?
[SPEAKER_02]: We feel bad for Judy's drug stuff and child-actress stuff.
[SPEAKER_02]: We feel for Eliza being wheeled around of the Oscars.
[SPEAKER_02]: But not enough people are talking about the plight of Lorna Luft.
[SPEAKER_02]: Of Lorna.
[SPEAKER_01]: Of Lorna Luft.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's her mother thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the fact that like her, her claim to fame is Greece too.
[SPEAKER_01]: And your sister's lies in Manelli.
[SPEAKER_01]: Why are you still here, babe?
[SPEAKER_01]: But maybe Lorna gets to laugh this last time.
[SPEAKER_02]: And why is Liza's memoir is her A.I.
[SPEAKER_02]: voice.
[SPEAKER_02]: So maybe Lorna's laughing her way to the Hollywood secretary.
[SPEAKER_01]: I got to say A.I.
[SPEAKER_01]: is bad.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so bad.
[SPEAKER_01]: We got, get A.I.
[SPEAKER_01]: out of here.
[SPEAKER_01]: We saw Lorna in the Hollywood cemetery.
[SPEAKER_01]: But, oh yeah, we did.
[SPEAKER_01]: We saw on Judy Garland's 10th birthday, we went to the Hollywood forever cemetery and watch The Wizard of Oz.
[SPEAKER_01]: Listen, I love Lorna Loft because in high school she wrote a book called me in my shadows my life with Judy Garland And it was the first book I ever actually read all the way through And by that I mean I stopped after Judy died.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not in my business the rest of her life So I consider that book finished Con 30 you found you made it into a mini series Me and my shadows starting Judy Davis oh And Judy Davis won an Emmy for it
[SPEAKER_01]: for playing Judy Garland.
[SPEAKER_01]: Who played Lorna?
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a real hint.
[SPEAKER_03]: She wasn't in it.
[SPEAKER_01]: They wrote her out.
[SPEAKER_02]: Can you imagine they wrote her out?
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't remember, but it's her and Tammy Blanchard played young Judy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Wait, wait, wait.
[SPEAKER_01]: I gotta be honest with y'all.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so good.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is a really good pitch because I love that we've gone from your abusive family to wrestling, to Lorna being written out of her own film.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to do the Character Actress question before we flip over to Substack so I can ask some hard-hitting dating and sex questions for both of you because I feel like it's rare we get to hear about more about Curtis's whole and maybe even Darby's cock.
[SPEAKER_03]: the shocking thing about me is I didn't do much of course of course no um I But it's a whole thing because I was a bad student and I was like off-do in drugs and stuff He got kidnapped and put in the desert.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, but that's a whole different part.
[SPEAKER_03]: Wait, which drug which drug?
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, which one didn't I do?
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, wow.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, he grew up in the main line.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so all the parents were doctors.
[SPEAKER_01]: They were rich white kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: All their parents were doctors.
[SPEAKER_01]: So they were just trading prescriptions.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, pills, pills, okay, okay, okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Pills, pills, pills, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, you just lack of food.
[SPEAKER_02]: Mostly psyched out drugs, okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: But, so you were thinking, you know, were you doing feeder or no?
[SPEAKER_03]: Um, I did, I did some theater here and there, like I was very selective with what I did.
[SPEAKER_03]: Um, I built a theater in my basement, like a full on with bed sheets and, um, pulleys and stuff like I designed it.
[SPEAKER_03]: I went to the Ace Hardware with my dad and like had like a schematic drawn out of, you know, everything I wanted so that you could like, from one side, pull the curtain and it would open and close.
[SPEAKER_02]: Sorry.
[SPEAKER_03]: Um.
[SPEAKER_03]: Hahaha.
[SPEAKER_03]: So yeah, I was doing theater down there.
[SPEAKER_03]: I was doing the favorite part that you play.
[SPEAKER_03]: I was the bullfrog in Hunk Jr., the musical one time, of course.
[SPEAKER_03]: So I was like tap dancing on top of a piano and stuff.
[SPEAKER_03]: I played a Gus discoloup in a, like a version of Charlie and the chocolate factory.
[SPEAKER_02]: So these all kind of sound like school made a place that were like truncated versions of real things.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, it's kind of amazing to see then you're now meteoric rise as an actress coming from such humble drug beginnings.
[SPEAKER_02]: Humble beginning.
[SPEAKER_02]: Darby, you probably did a full production, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: I did a lot.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I would have to say, obviously, number one, that ninth grade, the summer before I hit puberty, I played hero in a funny thing happened on the way to the forum.
[SPEAKER_01]: Chalice.
[SPEAKER_03]: Love I hear you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, and it was actually higher than that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I loved it.
[SPEAKER_01]: The girl who's my love interest was a senior, and she smoked cigarettes.
[SPEAKER_01]: But she was her boyfriend didn't want her kissing me because I was a boy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, but honestly, I was a pre-pubescent boy like so that's even weirder anyway.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we could only do the kiss on stage at the show.
[SPEAKER_01]: So during rehearsals we weren't allowed to kiss, which I thought was crazy because number one I don't want to kiss you, you will bitch.
[SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, I loved that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I played a very problematic version of the Fantastic's.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if you know the silent character who has no songs is supposed to be, I think I was named the Indian and it is supposed to be a character chore of a Native American and I was in high school and that's not my fault.
[SPEAKER_03]: not your fault and your real authenticity to the role, though.
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm sure you did your research.
[SPEAKER_01]: My grandmother, my mama, was 16th Cherokee.
[SPEAKER_03]: So I think that's just what raises people say to try to get away with the reason.
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't think she was a racist.
[SPEAKER_02]: One 30 second, we all have problematic rules.
[SPEAKER_02]: I played Daniel in the famously all-back all-black production of once on this island.
[SPEAKER_02]: So we're all listening
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, that's, you know, add it to the, actually, 50 cent recognized me from the show.
[SPEAKER_02]: It was really fun conversation on set.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I would love that conversation.
[SPEAKER_02]: We do need to ask the final podcast question before flipping over to the paywall of all paywalls.
[SPEAKER_02]: The question that I would love for you both to answer is, if the world was ending, you could only save one character act, trust.
[SPEAKER_03]: Who would you stay?
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, it is, it's terrifying to come back on this show, knowing that I answered this question three years ago.
[SPEAKER_03]: Answer change, answer is can change.
[SPEAKER_03]: And I, or do that?
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, so I was talking to Curtis about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, I don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I feel like whatever I say is going to be what I said last time, because I have such a passion for character actresses.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I said, I'm, I'm sure I mentioned Laurie Metcalf, because she's like my go-to.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, well, maybe I'll pull from the past and I'll do film a ridder from pillow talk in the such as and so I'm I'm vacillating.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so this morning, I was like, well, let me go find the episode and see what I said.
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you I said, what'd you say?
[SPEAKER_01]: Laurie Metcalf and film a ridder.
[SPEAKER_02]: I said no fucking bitch.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, I'm going to add to the list, Marjorie Maine, I would say Marjorie Maine, because she would keep us all safe, meaning St. Louis for her girl's mom-paw cattle.
[SPEAKER_01]: Marjorie Maine, not much mom-paw cattle.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's very much like my my stint in the fantastics only worse.
[SPEAKER_01]: So don't really don't check that out.
[SPEAKER_01]: Problematic, that out.
[SPEAKER_02]: Territory, well thank you for name dropping Marjorie Maine because of me mean St. Louis as a person from St. Louis misery.
[SPEAKER_02]: I find it to be very, you know, a very affirming though to name drop a character actress from that film, who I don't know if you know, but Judy Garland isn't it too.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's sort of a fun fact about that.
[SPEAKER_02]: that film Curtis Lorna last month yeah Lorna left some mom is in it Lorna was in hell Curtis what character actress are you saving oh I know I'm sure it's been seven million times but Megan Malali oh no that's it's actually never said enough it's never said too much um Megan Malali that's a great answer did you just see the interview that she had about her hot husband
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, no, so she, but her husband is a big reason that I would want to save her.
[SPEAKER_02]: Say more.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, can I save them both?
[SPEAKER_03]: Because I think that they're, I think that they're a gay couple.
[SPEAKER_02]: I agree.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, they, they are a gay couple, I think.
[SPEAKER_03]: have you ever seen the way that they have sex?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: So, you know, how we have sex?
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, my God.
[SPEAKER_01]: It looked familiar.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, my God.
[SPEAKER_02]: Is it because it's like the constant mustache, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then she gets bored.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a whole thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: Listen, I think it becomes thrilling to ride Nick Offerman's mustache.
[SPEAKER_02]: I, and I say that with all do respect.
[SPEAKER_02]: The interview that Megan was recently talking about or that I read was that when she first started dating Nick She was like, oh, and I'm so happy you're like age appropriate.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're my age How old are you again?
[SPEAKER_02]: And he goes 29 and she goes what 39?
[SPEAKER_02]: He was 29 and she's like fuck because she thought That for the first time she was dating somebody who was in her wheelhouse But she just that he looked really old and seemed mature and here they are the gay couples still standing today
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I mean, William Grace was like definitely formative for me, and back to my dad, one of his absolute favorite shows.
[SPEAKER_01]: He, his dad, Jerry Jackson, was very gay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like he was a very, he was an ostentatious man.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: He loved a pop black woman singer.
[SPEAKER_03]: He loved Queen Latifa.
[SPEAKER_01]: He loved Queen Latifa.
[SPEAKER_01]: And if that doesn't make you gay.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, what that I hope he brought you to see bring down the house and theaters.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, did he, did he?
[SPEAKER_03]: Don't worry, gosh, I actually told him I was going to go see that movie.
[SPEAKER_03]: I told him I was going to go see that movie Yeah, what did I do?
[SPEAKER_03]: I went and smoked pot with my friends by the railroad tracks and eight Cheese sticks, but you know what he was in the hospital after his first heart attack and I was not going to hang out with him in the hospital I was saying I was in go see bringing down the house.
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay, and yet I was smoking Well, the second heart attack went way worse
[SPEAKER_01]: I have to say, bringing down the house and I mean this.
[SPEAKER_01]: I haven't watched it in a while, so if it ages poorly like everything does, I'm so sorry.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I, y'all don't remember this because y'all are so young.
[SPEAKER_01]: But when I was in college, if you wanted to like, veg out,
[SPEAKER_01]: in your dorm room and watch a movie.
[SPEAKER_01]: You didn't have internet streaming.
[SPEAKER_01]: What the fuck is that?
[SPEAKER_01]: You had to go to Walmart.
[SPEAKER_01]: You had to dig through the bin.
[SPEAKER_01]: You had to buy like there'd be DVDs, or I got to be honest when I was in college it was VHS tape at the start of the role.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and for like $2, you could, anyway, bring it on the house was one of my DVDs.
[SPEAKER_01]: I watched that 200,000 times in college, and I laughed every time.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, it's, it becomes, it's high, it's high comedy, but also I am immediately flipping in my mind to a very problematic scene where the old white ladies say.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, fuck.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll leave you home.
[SPEAKER_02]: But, but, but, but, but, but, but.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was a different time, I was living in Mississippi.
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't even know who I was.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I was, I came from trash.
[SPEAKER_02]: We got to ask Queen Latifa some day how she feels about bringing down my house because honestly, it's the cast alone.
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's not been on the pod?
[SPEAKER_02]: Not yet, it's scheduling issues.
[SPEAKER_02]: But I think Queen, oh, to be a talk about gay, gay people also.
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't realize that she was less until... She's so gay.
[SPEAKER_03]: Thank you, miss her entire rap career.
[SPEAKER_02]: Honestly, yeah, like I didn't really like I didn't really know her until her acting right until until um Chicago and then no Well, you don't watch living single Ever I know I know no, sorry the holiday the holiday.
[SPEAKER_02]: I
[SPEAKER_02]: and it's my favorite holiday fell.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's the family's stone is my first.
[SPEAKER_02]: It holds time.
[SPEAKER_02]: We stone is number one holiday.
[SPEAKER_02]: We'll be number two.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah, we do love a dead dying Keaton, I guess.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, and we all got our way.
[SPEAKER_01]: Did that movie train you for real life?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, my God.
[SPEAKER_01]: Did it make it easier?
[SPEAKER_02]: We talk about character actresses that we would save, Diane Keaton, I love you, but listen, we can't spend any more time talking about dead character actresses like Diane Keaton or a Marjorie, so can you tell these gorgeous listeners where to follow you and if it's anything you would like for them to know,
[SPEAKER_03]: Um, you can find me at Curtis Edward Jackson on Instagram, um, I think that's the only thing that I really don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, no, no.
[SPEAKER_01]: You just started getting back into your art and it's really funny.
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh, yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: Um, well, you're taking fine to my art through my, my main Instagram.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's tagged.
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_03]: But yeah, some of visual artists as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, he makes the, they're healthy.
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh, yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: Also go on.
[SPEAKER_03]: I am D. B. I, I want to try something here.
[SPEAKER_03]: Go on IMDB and write in my name and look me up because I'm really just I'm really trying to goose this this star meter here That's not me.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm desperate to see what happens in my career Time he was on IMHO and you know it's funny.
[SPEAKER_03]: It is it is I got quite a bump not the highest I've ever been so that what what happened to your career once you got the phone out on this show
[SPEAKER_03]: Look!
[SPEAKER_01]: No, you have an audition today.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have an audition later today.
[SPEAKER_03]: I have so many auditions.
[SPEAKER_01]: See?
[SPEAKER_01]: But no, we're going IMDB.
[SPEAKER_01]: Look up Curtis Edward Jackson.
[SPEAKER_01]: Go to IMHL the show on everything.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't post a lot on my little, just ignore me.
[SPEAKER_01]: But go to IMHL the show.
[SPEAKER_01]: Alexis and I had a show in Chicago that got canceled at three different bars.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's called Darby Wins' A Talent Show, where everyone competes, I host and everyone competes for second and third place, because automatically, I automatically win.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're bringing it to LA Baby.
[SPEAKER_01]: We wanted to get canceled a fourth time, so it will be a dynasty typewriter July 16th.
[SPEAKER_03]: So make sure it's a variety show.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's not going to be like just drag queens doing drag numbers.
[SPEAKER_03]: This is a hilarious.
[SPEAKER_03]: We got to stand wild.
[SPEAKER_03]: There are people who will like climb through tennis rackets.
[SPEAKER_03]: There are like it's an adult talent show.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I win.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I make a stand on stage.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a crown myself.
[SPEAKER_02]: as you should.
[SPEAKER_02]: So that is dynasty typewriter.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're also going to link that in the description.
[SPEAKER_02]: And come with me so that an actor we can all go to act bar and make out or we can go get them or whatever it is.
[SPEAKER_03]: Wings, chicken wings in Ktown, it's right there.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're gonna flip over to porney tails so that we can put that paywall up and get some juicy gossip.
[SPEAKER_02]: Curtis, what was your first or most formative hookup experience that really comes to mind in the before Darby times?
[SPEAKER_02]: Anything that was like either your first full home run or like a really delicious moment?
[SPEAKER_03]: I've got a pretty boring sexual past because I truly didn't know that I was gay for a very long time.
[SPEAKER_03]: Until what?
[SPEAKER_03]: And when I found out, when I found out, I was shocked.
[SPEAKER_03]: The night of my 11th birthday, I was living with my own uncle at the time.
[SPEAKER_03]: This large giant man with like a beard and a wool overcoat came in and took me out of the cupboard underneath the stairs and said, you're a gay man, Curtis.
[SPEAKER_03]: I think his name was Fagrid.
[SPEAKER_03]: Um, yeah, so, that was a lot to take in.
[SPEAKER_02]: Gurthy, it sounds like.
[SPEAKER_03]: No, I truly, I was like, I was a very straight passing kid.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so, like, I didn't know what it all meant.
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, no one was like telling me that I was gay and had these little crushes on my friends that I thought were just like, you know, oh, everybody just kind of has these infatuations.
[SPEAKER_03]: So, I just thought it was like a phase, you know, like, oh, yeah, I'm like jerking off to gay porn, but like every little stop, something to it didn't it didn't feel like weird or wrong or anything and like one memorable time I had I went out to lunch with a guy because I mean met him on face and on a Facebook on my space we had mutuals through my space and we messaged on my space and we're like you're gay, I'm gay, we should like hang out and so we went to chillies
[SPEAKER_02]: I told him all about how I was going to spend that summer at clown college and he was deeply uninterested and we went back to his place and for the rest of the story, he had to sub-stack where you're also going to hear about Curtis and Darby's first hookup, how they fell in love, the rules to their open relation and a whole brunch more.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's linked below in the description.
[SPEAKER_02]: Substack.com slash at Eric Willes.
[SPEAKER_02]: And there are a lot more extended episodes there, so I will see you for the full gay ass scoop.
[SPEAKER_02]: I love you, bye!