[UNKNOWN]: Thanks for watching!
[SPEAKER_00]: Hello everyone and welcome to the power of being relentless at the spotcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm Michael Hanks and today we're going to be talking about navigating ethical gray areas.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, let's start with something honest.
[SPEAKER_00]: Most of us were raised on a simple story about ethics.
[SPEAKER_00]: Good guys and bad guys, right in Rome, white hats and black hats.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that story isn't wrong exactly, but some things really are clearly wrong with
[SPEAKER_00]: and some things are really clearly right.
[SPEAKER_00]: But life keeps handing us situations that don't fit in to either box.
[SPEAKER_00]: A franticious secret, then someone you love ask you a direct question about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Telling the truth would break confidence, keeping the confidence means shading the truth.
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you do?
[SPEAKER_00]: Your company asks you to do something that's technically legal, but feels off.
[SPEAKER_00]: Your aging parent needs care, you can't fully provide.
[SPEAKER_00]: A coworker is struggling and reporting them might call them their job, but not reporting them might call someone else their safety.
[SPEAKER_00]: These aren't failures of character.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're the texture of real life.
[SPEAKER_00]: Being relentless about ethics doesn't mean pretending the gray doesn't exist.
[SPEAKER_00]: It means refusing to give up on doing right even when
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's something that might surprise you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Scripture is full of the great.
[SPEAKER_00]: The Bible doesn't hide from hard decisions.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just right in the middle of them.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's look at Proverbs 14, 12.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a path before each person that sings right, but it ends in death that verse is humbling.
[SPEAKER_00]: It tells us our own sense of right can mislead us.
[SPEAKER_00]: What feels obvious isn't always trustworthy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Even our gut can't fool us.
[SPEAKER_00]: How do we move forward?
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the question this whole episode is built to answer.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's also be honest about why the gray feels so heavy.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's because we care.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you didn't care about people, about integrity, about consequences, gray areas, wooden trouble you at all.
[SPEAKER_00]: The discomfort you feel is actually a sign that your conscience is alive and working.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't despise that feeling learned from it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And today's episode isn't about to make that great disappear.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's about to give you steadiness in it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's our first tool and it changes everything.
[SPEAKER_00]: Seek wisdom before you seek an answer.
[SPEAKER_00]: When you hit a gray area, your first instinct to rush toward of the decision.
[SPEAKER_00]: We won't the discomfort to end, but the wise move is slowed down and asked for wisdom first.
[SPEAKER_00]: James one, five says it plainly, if you need wisdom, ask our generous God and he will give it to you.
[SPEAKER_00]: He will not review Q for asking.
[SPEAKER_00]: I wanna emphasize that last slide again.
[SPEAKER_00]: He will not review Q for asking.
[SPEAKER_00]: God isn't annoyed by your confusion.
[SPEAKER_00]: He doesn't roll his eyes when you admit
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, let's look at the book of the Wisdom of Solomon here, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's it's treasured by many believers across centuries, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it has a lot of deep reflection and how wisdom works, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: Solomon praised for understanding and the text describes Wisdom this way.
[SPEAKER_00]: And the Wisdom of Solomon's seven wisdom is called a breath of the power of God.
[SPEAKER_00]: a reflection of his goodness, something more beautiful than the sun.
[SPEAKER_00]: The writer says that those who welcome wisdom become friends of God.
[SPEAKER_00]: And what I love about that picture is wisdom isn't just information, it's relationship.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a posture.
[SPEAKER_00]: When you slow down and seek wisdom, you're not just gathering facts.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're opening yourself to God's character shape in your judgment.
[SPEAKER_00]: So practically, what does this look like?
[SPEAKER_00]: before you decide something, pulse and pray.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not a rush, God tell me what to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, now there's nothing wrong with praying that, but would you real quick like that with God?
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of times you're not gonna get the answer like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you will, sometimes you won't, most time you won't.
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, you've gotta have a settling prayer.
[SPEAKER_00]: God,
[SPEAKER_00]: Give me your eyes for this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Slow my heart.
[SPEAKER_00]: Help me won't what's good more than I want to be comfortable.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: See how much different that sounds, God, tell me what to do and then the example I just give.
[SPEAKER_00]: God, give me your eyes for this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Slow my heart.
[SPEAKER_00]: Help me won't what's good more than I want to be comfortable.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's look at Ecclesiastes 32-19, do nothing without deliberation.
[SPEAKER_00]: And when you have acted, do not regret it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank before you act.
[SPEAKER_00]: Way thanks carefully.
[SPEAKER_00]: And once you've genuinely sought wisdom and made your choice, release the second guessing.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a gift to your own soul.
[SPEAKER_00]: And here's the reflection.
[SPEAKER_00]: Moment, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: Fake of a decision you're facing right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: Have you actually asked for wisdom about it?
[SPEAKER_00]: had you only worried about it?
[SPEAKER_00]: Worried circles the problem.
[SPEAKER_00]: Wisdom walks through it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Make the shift.
[SPEAKER_00]: The second tool widen your council.
[SPEAKER_00]: Grey areas are dangerous when you face the balloon.
[SPEAKER_00]: I solution to stores are thinking.
[SPEAKER_00]: We talk ourselves into things.
[SPEAKER_00]: We talk ourselves out of things.
[SPEAKER_00]: We mistake our fear for discernment and our pride for principle.
[SPEAKER_00]: Proverbs 1522 says, plans go wrong for a lack of advice.
[SPEAKER_00]: Many advisors bring success.
[SPEAKER_00]: Proverbs 1114 says, without wise leadership, a nation falls.
[SPEAKER_00]: There is safety in having many advisors.
[SPEAKER_00]: Notice the word safety.
[SPEAKER_00]: When you bring wise people into your decision, you create a kind of car rail around your blind spots.
[SPEAKER_00]: None of us sees the whole picture, but a handful of trusted godly voices can show us angles we'd never find on our own.
[SPEAKER_00]: In this matter, choose your counselors carefully.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not everyone deserves a seat at the table
[SPEAKER_00]: ecclesiasties 37 13 through 14 says he'd the council of your own heart for a person's soul sometimes keeps him better informed than seven watchmen sitting high on a watch tower.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, this is a warning to not take council from someone who is biased against us or from a competitor about success or from a film for person about war.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, I'll tell you what I've did.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have a board of directors.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have a nonprofit called Rebuild and Rise.
[SPEAKER_00]: Each person I've selected on there because I know them.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know they're heart.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know what they stand for.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know what they do outside of work.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: I used them for decision-making in that in my nonprofit because I know that we all have, we all have one vision and it's very, very, very clear.
[SPEAKER_00]: And for your decision, I make leading that organization a lot of the, especially these bigger decisions that I make, I set down, get on a meeting with these guys.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, look, this is what I'm looking at doing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then we talk, hey, is it in line with a vision?
[SPEAKER_00]: You need counsel members or something.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're not going to make, like I said, some decisions you don't need to make isolated.
[SPEAKER_00]: You need counsel.
[SPEAKER_00]: You need people.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, here's how to widen your council well.
[SPEAKER_00]: First, pick people with prudent character, not smart opinions.
[SPEAKER_00]: You won't whiz them, not just cleverness.
[SPEAKER_00]: Second, pick people who will tell you the truth, even when it's uncomfortable.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I have the board of directors I have.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, Michael, that's a great idea.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, they push back, now look, look, we need to, that's not a good idea because this and this can happen.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'd rather than tell me that, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Damn, instead of all that's a great idea, let me go do something, and it's not good, you know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what we have to focus on.
[SPEAKER_00]: We, you need people in your life to tell you no.
[SPEAKER_00]: Or that's not a good idea, or I'm not impressed.
[SPEAKER_00]: Third,
[SPEAKER_00]: You've got to have people that share the deepest values.
[SPEAKER_00]: Advice always carries the values of the one giving it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, sometimes we seek counsel until we find someone who tells us that we what we've already wanted to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not seeking wisdom.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's shopping for permission.
[SPEAKER_00]: Be honest with yourself about which one you're doing.
[SPEAKER_00]: The third tool, all right, test your motives.
[SPEAKER_00]: In the gray, our seasons matter as much as our actions.
[SPEAKER_00]: Two people can do the same exact thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: One from love, one from selfishness.
[SPEAKER_00]: The act looks identical.
[SPEAKER_00]: The heart behind it is world's apart.
[SPEAKER_00]: So good Jeremiah 17, 9 through 10.
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, the human heart is the most deceitful of all things and desperately wicked.
[SPEAKER_00]: Who really knows how bad it is?
[SPEAKER_00]: But the Lord search all hearts and examine secret motives.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that meant to crush you.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's meant to make you humble and watchful.
[SPEAKER_00]: Our hearts can span a beautiful story to justify self-ish choice.
[SPEAKER_00]: So in a gray area, ask yourself the hard question.
[SPEAKER_00]: What about really after here?
[SPEAKER_00]: Am I protecting someone or am I protecting my reputation?
[SPEAKER_00]: am I telling the truth to help or to wound?
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you staying silent on a wisdom or cowardice?
[SPEAKER_00]: Probably 16-2 says people may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is where relentless ethics gets personal.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's easy to debate the outside details.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's much harder to look inside and tell yourself the truth.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's a practice motive test you can use.
[SPEAKER_00]: ask, would I be at peace if this choice were brought into the light of God, fully same by him?
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the vertical test.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, ask, would I be comfortable if the people I love and respect saw the full picture my reasons included?
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the relational test.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the time test.
[SPEAKER_00]: When a choice passes all three lights, God's gaze, trusted people's views, and the test of time, you're standing on a much firmer ground.
[SPEAKER_00]: Take a moment.
[SPEAKER_00]: Is there a decision where you've been honest about what you're doing, but not honest about why?
[SPEAKER_00]: Bring that wine to the light.
[SPEAKER_00]: It changes everything.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, there's a lot going on right now in Tennessee with mass incarceration.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I've said it a lot of these hearings.
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is a perfect example of the why.
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of the, there's actually two that they're pushing so hard for hard-owned crime policies.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you know, it's just, it's failed, you know, miserably since I've started in the 90s.
[SPEAKER_00]: But anyways, they're saying,
[SPEAKER_00]: then it's that they're doing it to help they want to keep us safe right that sounds good all they're we're going to implement this is going to help people so much but what they're not telling you is how much money they're making off of that.
[SPEAKER_00]: In the prison system and that changes everything their hearts not into it they're in it for money right.
[SPEAKER_00]: because here's the deal.
[SPEAKER_00]: The same people saying that when I've said on before, what was a family, it was a mother explaining to her, son, she was an elderly lady, and there was a couple other ladies telling stories about their loved ones that were in prison.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they were, unfortunately, negatively impacted by criminal responsibility.
[SPEAKER_00]: Most of them not even on the scene where this happened.
[SPEAKER_00]: And due to prosecution at times, not having to prove intent, they were able to incarcerate these people much longer than people who committed the crime,
[SPEAKER_00]: So they're telling the story and this one Senator looks over and tells them they're a waste of oxygen so that right there exposes his heart He sounds good.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, this is going to help even though it does it, but then his why was revealed on that Let's look at the fourth tool Anchor love and the golden rule
[SPEAKER_00]: When the rules don't give a clear answer, love often does.
[SPEAKER_00]: Jesus taught this directly in Matthew 712, do to others whatever you would like them do to you.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the essence of all that is taught in the law of prophets.
[SPEAKER_00]: Think about how powerful that is in a gray area.
[SPEAKER_00]: When you can't find a rule, you can almost always find a person.
[SPEAKER_00]: And when you can find a person, you ask,
[SPEAKER_00]: Paul takes it further Romans 1310.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God's law.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love becomes the compass when the map runs out.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's also a wonderful guidance in the book of Tobit.
[SPEAKER_00]: Tobit Thor, a father gives his son, practical wisdom for a living rightly.
[SPEAKER_00]: He says in Tobit 415, and what you hate,
[SPEAKER_00]: do not do to anyone.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the golden rule and it's early as forms centuries before it goes from a hillside in Galilee.
[SPEAKER_00]: Tobit also advises generosity, honesty and wages and care for the poor.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's ethics, workout, and everyday ordinary decisions.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the point.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ethics isn't only for the dramatic moments.
[SPEAKER_00]: It lives in how you treat the cashier, the co-worker, the family member who frustrates you.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, when you're stuck, ask and love question, what choice best honors or, what honors the dignity of every person involved?
[SPEAKER_00]: What choice would I be grateful for if I were the most vulnerable person in this situation?
[SPEAKER_00]: Love doesn't always make the decision easy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes loving one person means disappointing another, but love clarifies your aim in a clear aim, studies, a shaky aim.
[SPEAKER_00]: The Lord has told you what is good, and this is what He requires of you to do what is right, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do right, love mercy, walk humbly.
[SPEAKER_00]: When you don't know the specifics, you could still hold on to the posture.
[SPEAKER_00]: Our final tool here, found the courage to act and the grace to be imperfect.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's the heart truth about gray areas.
[SPEAKER_00]: The analysis ends and a decision has to be made.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can pray, gather cancel, test your motives, and anchor the love.
[SPEAKER_00]: And still face a choice with no perfect good clean answer.
[SPEAKER_00]: Joshua 19 says, this is bachame and be strong and courageous.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do not be afraid or discouraged for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
[SPEAKER_00]: You make the best, most prayerful decision you can, and then you trust God with the parts you couldn't fully control.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then here's the grace part.
[SPEAKER_00]: You will not get every gray area decision right, neither will I.
[SPEAKER_00]: Being relentless about ethics doesn't mean being perfect.
[SPEAKER_00]: It means care enough to keep growing, keep learning, and keep returning to God.
[SPEAKER_00]: When you stumble, listen, scripture doesn't leave you in shame.
[SPEAKER_00]: First John, one non-promises, if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful, and just to forgive us, our sins, and to cleanse us from all wickedness.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I act with courage, hold your decisions with humility, and give yourself the same grace God gives you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't let fear of getting it wrong, freeze you into doing nothing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Inaction is also a choice, and often more calls to one step forward, God walks with you even in the gray.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's put this together, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: When the right choice isn't clear, you're not stuck in your not alone.
[SPEAKER_00]: You had tools once, he quiz them before you seek an answer.
[SPEAKER_00]: Slow down and ask God who gives generously, too, while in your cancel, invite trusted
[SPEAKER_00]: three test your motives, bring your wine to the light through the three lights test, four, anchor to love in the golden rule.
[SPEAKER_00]: Find the courage to act in grace to be perfect.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's number five.
[SPEAKER_00]: The gray will never disappear in this life.
[SPEAKER_00]: But you can walk through it with steadiness and integrity and peace.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what it means to be relentless, not relentless about being right, but relentless about doing right.
[SPEAKER_00]: You carry something powerful now.
[SPEAKER_00]: Use it well.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's close in prayer.
[SPEAKER_00]: Father, we come to you honest about the gray areas in our lives.
[SPEAKER_00]: The choices that have no easy answers, the moments when we feel pulled in every direction, give us the wisdom when we don't know the why.
[SPEAKER_00]: You promised to give it generously.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we ask without hesitation.
[SPEAKER_00]: Give us discernment to see clearly, to tell the truth from comfort, conviction from fear and love from selfishness.
[SPEAKER_00]: Give us courage to act when the time comes and to step forward into the unclear trusting,
[SPEAKER_00]: that you go with us wherever we go.
[SPEAKER_00]: Give us humility to admit when we're wrong, to receive correction and to learn from those who've placed around us and give us your peace, the peace that guards our hearts, even when the outcome is uncertain.
[SPEAKER_00]: Make us forgetless and do it what is right, in loving mercy and in walking humbly with you.
[SPEAKER_00]: We trust you with what we cannot see and your holy name we pray, amen.
[SPEAKER_00]: Guys, thank you so much for tuning in and listening to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't forget to admit, it's Michael Hanks published out their own Facebook.
[SPEAKER_00]: and remember, you don't have to see the whole path to take the next faithful step.
[SPEAKER_00]: Till next time, stay relentless.