WEBVTT 00:00.231 --> 00:03.975 [SPEAKER_01]: Hello everybody, welcome back to the NoBadDogs podcast and my second YouTube channel. 00:03.995 --> 00:07.138 [SPEAKER_01]: Today we're going to be talking about something everybody does. 00:07.498 --> 00:10.661 [SPEAKER_01]: The reason why you clicked on this, it's like, oh, I wonder what Tom's talking about. 00:10.701 --> 00:12.383 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, today is exactly that. 00:12.543 --> 00:15.206 [SPEAKER_01]: Is you guys are making this mistake, all my clients make mistakes. 00:15.706 --> 00:20.131 [SPEAKER_01]: I have been actively educating myself and practicing. 00:21.632 --> 00:24.535 [SPEAKER_01]: this, the studies for over a decade. 00:25.096 --> 00:29.361 [SPEAKER_01]: Dog comes in with behavioral issues, whether it's anxiety, reactivity, aggression, etc. 00:29.821 --> 00:37.930 [SPEAKER_01]: There's like five things that we can draw straight lying through as dog trainers or behaviors or whatever you want to call us, that we can say these are the things. 00:40.393 --> 00:45.317 [SPEAKER_01]: on the liver, and you said, hey, every single time somebody has a bad liver, they do these five things. 00:45.417 --> 00:46.498 [SPEAKER_01]: All of them do these five things. 00:46.518 --> 00:56.166 [SPEAKER_01]: You would want to know how to avoid these five things, or if you're a mechanic, and you said, hey, every single time somebody goes to this gas station and puts this gas in the car dies. 00:56.186 --> 00:57.307 [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, okay, where is that? 00:57.347 --> 00:58.368 [SPEAKER_01]: I want to avoid that. 00:58.508 --> 01:08.617 [SPEAKER_01]: Same thing with dogs, guys, it's what we're going to be talking about is kind of like that the fancy term is anthropomorphism, and essentially it's humanizing dogs. 01:09.177 --> 01:13.218 [SPEAKER_01]: And again, to be clear, I love dogs, I get in the ground with dogs, I kiss dogs, they sleep in my bed. 01:13.238 --> 01:16.479 [SPEAKER_01]: I've been covered in dog hair since I was two years old. 01:17.059 --> 01:24.041 [SPEAKER_01]: So I am a dog lover through and through, but I'm also, I also understand dogs and I respect dogs. 01:24.301 --> 01:26.322 [SPEAKER_01]: And the other day on Instagram, I actually saw, 01:27.522 --> 01:39.848 [SPEAKER_01]: A really good kind of I guess ideation of this or representative of this and a lady walked by and it said on the screen dog lover and she got on this She's like oh my god, I love your dogs. 01:39.868 --> 01:51.273 [SPEAKER_01]: They're so beautiful and she ran up to and she got right in their face started kissing them all that stuff in the dogs were like with the heck lady And then the next scene same girl same dogs and they said like 01:57.075 --> 01:59.778 [SPEAKER_01]: It's kind of like when you know the difference, so that's the difference, right? 01:59.818 --> 02:13.213 [SPEAKER_01]: So when you know, you know, and that's why dog owners, when you're listening to this, I'm giving you a little inside insider here that when you work around as many dogs as we do, and we understand what dogs respond to the most, 02:14.695 --> 02:19.561 [SPEAKER_01]: you'll start to really understand how we should be communicating and acting towards our dogs. 02:20.142 --> 02:22.545 [SPEAKER_01]: So the first thing is, why do we humanize dogs? 02:22.905 --> 02:30.975 [SPEAKER_01]: And just to define, it's like, we humanize dogs, like we don't, we don't, we let them pull us because we feel bad, right? 02:31.635 --> 02:44.191 [SPEAKER_01]: or we think that maybe yelling at them or discipline them is going to make them fearful of us, or we don't want them to be sad, or we don't want them to be upset. 02:44.251 --> 02:47.536 [SPEAKER_01]: And guys, I want to just explain to you that dogs are 02:49.364 --> 02:53.725 [SPEAKER_01]: If savages for the most part, you know, they are animals, right? 02:53.765 --> 03:05.289 [SPEAKER_01]: They have prey drives, they have hunt drives, they have all sorts of different drives, play drives, and they could be aggressive, they can be violent, they can be sweet, they can be all the things, right? 03:05.329 --> 03:05.909 [SPEAKER_01]: They're animals. 03:06.729 --> 03:11.971 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm not saying every single person out there is listening to this that has a violent or aggressive or savage dog. 03:11.991 --> 03:14.112 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just saying like we have to understand that they are dogs. 03:14.452 --> 03:17.653 [SPEAKER_01]: So even if you don't have a dog that can be aggressive, you still have a dog that's going to 03:19.053 --> 03:20.595 [SPEAKER_01]: You're a little shit to your little multi. 03:20.615 --> 03:22.258 [SPEAKER_01]: So they're going to go eat rabbit poop. 03:22.278 --> 03:24.020 [SPEAKER_01]: They're going to go eat a dead frog. 03:24.281 --> 03:27.425 [SPEAKER_01]: They're going to go roll in a dead raccoon like they're animals. 03:27.506 --> 03:29.288 [SPEAKER_01]: We have to understand that's the first thing. 03:29.308 --> 03:32.893 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think like the thing that triggers this is that that parental 03:34.475 --> 03:43.520 [SPEAKER_01]: instinct of, well, when I have a dog, you know, we have to have this kind of void or sometimes of, like, well, I need to treat my dog like a kid. 03:43.540 --> 03:46.261 [SPEAKER_01]: And I always laugh when it's like, my dog is my family. 03:46.381 --> 03:47.482 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, it's not though. 03:47.602 --> 03:48.843 [SPEAKER_01]: And here's what I mean by that. 03:49.881 --> 03:56.162 [SPEAKER_01]: I love dogs, you love your dog, your dog loves you, but most people actually don't treat their dogs like their family. 03:56.202 --> 03:58.123 [SPEAKER_01]: They treat them like a stuffed animal. 03:58.583 --> 04:06.945 [SPEAKER_01]: How come the kids have rules, boundaries, regulations and manners and the dogs don't? 04:07.125 --> 04:13.246 [SPEAKER_01]: The dogs can pull and bark and yapp and jump and scratch and spin and not listen. 04:13.727 --> 04:17.928 [SPEAKER_01]: So I always say like, actually, we don't treat our dogs like our family. 04:20.629 --> 04:22.851 [SPEAKER_01]: some sort of like make a wish kit, right? 04:22.931 --> 04:25.774 [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, hey, you only have a week left here. 04:25.855 --> 04:26.555 [SPEAKER_01]: Do what you want. 04:26.936 --> 04:30.840 [SPEAKER_01]: When you want, we love you, whatever you want to do, right? 04:30.940 --> 04:33.323 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, we actually treat dogs like that. 04:33.923 --> 04:35.545 [SPEAKER_01]: And so, you know, think about it from it. 04:36.686 --> 04:37.187 [SPEAKER_01]: Think about it. 04:37.247 --> 04:39.549 [SPEAKER_01]: So in that same breath. 04:40.370 --> 04:43.597 [SPEAKER_01]: and we talk about treating our dogs like family. 04:44.679 --> 04:49.949 [SPEAKER_01]: Again, with our kids, for an example, if we were to give them, let's say they were 04:52.311 --> 04:59.039 [SPEAKER_01]: yelling, disrespectful, kicking, spitting, shouting, but we gave them everything they wanted. 04:59.360 --> 05:01.682 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, I want this skateboard done. 05:01.843 --> 05:02.884 [SPEAKER_01]: I want this bike done. 05:02.924 --> 05:03.685 [SPEAKER_01]: I want this ball. 05:03.805 --> 05:04.926 [SPEAKER_01]: No, I want the other ball done. 05:05.387 --> 05:06.188 [SPEAKER_01]: I want this bat. 05:06.228 --> 05:11.714 [SPEAKER_01]: I want this, this, this, this, this, this, this, I want this soccer ball, bang, bang, bang, we give them anything they want when they want. 05:12.916 --> 05:14.077 [SPEAKER_01]: No boundaries. 05:14.257 --> 05:15.198 [SPEAKER_01]: No bed times. 05:15.358 --> 05:17.059 [SPEAKER_01]: No we have to brush your teeth. 05:17.760 --> 05:19.221 [SPEAKER_01]: No bath time. 05:19.342 --> 05:20.102 [SPEAKER_01]: No manners. 05:20.162 --> 05:20.623 [SPEAKER_01]: No yes. 05:20.743 --> 05:21.343 [SPEAKER_01]: No please. 05:22.865 --> 05:26.248 [SPEAKER_01]: When you want something, you run up you take it from other people. 05:26.889 --> 05:31.753 [SPEAKER_01]: So obviously, when I'm saying this stuff, you guys are listening to this going like, oh, that is crazy. 05:31.773 --> 05:32.634 [SPEAKER_01]: I would never do that. 05:32.874 --> 05:33.154 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, 05:33.935 --> 05:34.475 [SPEAKER_01]: Let me explain. 05:34.535 --> 05:35.756 [SPEAKER_01]: This is the disconnect here. 05:35.776 --> 05:37.476 [SPEAKER_01]: This is why I'm making this podcast. 05:37.916 --> 05:47.640 [SPEAKER_01]: This is the big disconnect here is that's exactly actually how 90% of dog owners live their life with their dog, but they don't realize it. 05:47.860 --> 05:56.383 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's why they have a misbehaved disobedient, disregulated, co-dependent, anxious animal, right? 05:56.423 --> 05:59.424 [SPEAKER_01]: Because we actually, all the things I just said about how we 06:01.425 --> 06:03.386 [SPEAKER_01]: and you shaking your head like that would be awful. 06:03.446 --> 06:04.126 [SPEAKER_01]: That would create. 06:04.206 --> 06:04.986 [SPEAKER_01]: What would that create? 06:05.026 --> 06:08.507 [SPEAKER_01]: It would create the biggest brat in the world, right? 06:08.547 --> 06:14.629 [SPEAKER_01]: It would create like that Veronica girl on Willy Wonka, or Veruca, or whatever her name is. 06:15.149 --> 06:16.849 [SPEAKER_01]: Daddy, I want a golden goose now. 06:16.969 --> 06:19.050 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, Mr. Wonka, how much is it going to be? 06:19.070 --> 06:20.810 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, that's not for sale. 06:20.830 --> 06:22.531 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, anything's for sale, name your price. 06:22.551 --> 06:23.151 [SPEAKER_01]: What's it going to be? 06:23.191 --> 06:25.972 [SPEAKER_01]: Whatever my Veronica wants is what she gets, right? 06:26.032 --> 06:30.513 [SPEAKER_01]: And she turned out to the whole movie is literally kind of painting her as like a bad 06:31.373 --> 06:52.841 [SPEAKER_01]: right when the reality is is the dad enabled all of that um she said daddy i want this and he said okay i'll get it for you versus you know i mean it's it's discretionary on parenting but i think that we can all agree um that that's not the way to go right so you could say well they got to do chores or they got to ask nicely or 06:54.442 --> 07:08.422 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe they have to, you know, brush their teeth solidly for a week, but we would always just try to get them to do something for that, especially if it's like super extracurricular, like, you know, a car or, you know, a $300 baseball bat or something. 07:08.542 --> 07:08.962 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know. 07:09.503 --> 07:10.565 [SPEAKER_01]: But my point is is. 07:12.153 --> 07:31.333 [SPEAKER_01]: dog owners don't again dog owners are reiterating dog owners don't understand that that's exactly how they treat their dog right so for an example When a dog and this is just like you know very low hanging fruit here that most people will do every single day which is going to be again we put a leash on the dog and 07:31.773 --> 07:35.895 [SPEAKER_01]: then the dog comes out and starts pulling on the leash. 07:35.935 --> 07:39.376 [SPEAKER_01]: So essentially like think about that, the dog says, I want to do this. 07:39.436 --> 07:40.297 [SPEAKER_01]: We go, yep, no problem. 07:40.377 --> 07:41.537 [SPEAKER_01]: Bang, they hit the end of the leash. 07:41.977 --> 07:57.364 [SPEAKER_01]: Then what we do is we we talk to them, and we enable them to do whatever they want by again pulling without any structure, and they're basically in front of us skating the whole way. 07:58.564 --> 07:59.565 [SPEAKER_01]: And so like again, 08:01.589 --> 08:05.052 [SPEAKER_01]: you have to realize like how much that weighs on a dog. 08:05.592 --> 08:10.036 [SPEAKER_01]: So I, and again, when I, so my dog Lakota, here's the difference. 08:10.196 --> 08:18.723 [SPEAKER_01]: My dog Lakota, when I bring her for walk, she's off leash the whole time with her Frisbee and her mouth usually 10 to 20 feet ahead of us. 08:19.504 --> 08:26.649 [SPEAKER_01]: Here's the difference between allowing your dog to yank you around all over town and disengage from you versus a dog like Lakota. 08:27.490 --> 08:33.551 [SPEAKER_01]: at any point in time, if I see a car, if I see another dog, or even if I see a person, I can say, left. 08:34.111 --> 08:41.993 [SPEAKER_01]: And she will run and sprint as fast as she can, and she will put her body on my left leg, and she won't leave my left side until I release her. 08:42.433 --> 08:49.074 [SPEAKER_01]: So then you might ask yourself, well, are we talking about the difference between an obedient dog and not, or are we talking about humanizing 08:52.875 --> 08:59.319 [SPEAKER_01]: treating her dogs like actual dogs or animals, and I think that there's a very similar correlation there. 09:00.019 --> 09:06.703 [SPEAKER_01]: So when you have the boundaries and you have the leadership skills and you have, it's just like with kids. 09:07.223 --> 09:12.790 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, when you have all those things, then you have more opportunities to do more things. 09:13.410 --> 09:17.635 [SPEAKER_01]: The more trained your dog is, the more you can enjoy your walk, the more that you can do things. 09:18.076 --> 09:22.541 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, anybody who has a dog that's over 20 pounds, probably doesn't enjoy 09:23.402 --> 09:27.806 [SPEAKER_01]: to feel like they're realin' in a fish for 30 minutes a day, every walk. 09:28.367 --> 09:29.788 [SPEAKER_01]: That's probably not enjoyable. 09:29.928 --> 09:38.275 [SPEAKER_01]: Unfortunately, most people think that that's the norm, and that's how it has to be, and I can promise you, on my life, on my career, it doesn't have to be that way, actually. 09:38.295 --> 09:44.061 [SPEAKER_01]: It's very nice when you ask your dog to heal, and they walk right next to you in slow motion, and then when you say break, they go and do what they want. 09:44.681 --> 10:00.613 [SPEAKER_01]: So that humanization, again, like people don't, like it's so encouraged on social media, it's encouraged by the pen industry in general because the pen industry profits from it immensely, right, like all the all the different things that the QT things that you can get for your dog. 10:00.633 --> 10:10.541 [SPEAKER_01]: And again, like that's discretionary, but I'm just saying like if you go out and buy your dog a whole outfit and again, that's not, that's not going to damage your relationship. 10:11.181 --> 10:27.992 [SPEAKER_01]: buying your dog and outfit or doing those cutesy things, but understanding that if we actually believe that they like that is the problem, where an actual and actuality, the only reason why we do that type of stuff is because of our selfish, wants, needs and desires and likes and stuff. 10:28.112 --> 10:35.577 [SPEAKER_01]: And again, guys, like, I'm in the dog space, there's been plenty of times where I'll do obedience with my dogs for a video. 10:36.357 --> 10:38.159 [SPEAKER_01]: to prove a point or to do something. 10:38.179 --> 10:45.925 [SPEAKER_01]: So there's a lot of things that I do with my dogs that are rooted into self-righteousness of like, I got to train, you know, train my dog to do something. 10:45.945 --> 10:50.288 [SPEAKER_01]: But of course, I have dogs that actually like to work and they, you know, they enjoy that. 10:50.408 --> 10:58.074 [SPEAKER_01]: So it's different than asking my dog to down sit, stay and heal for the Frisbee versus, you know, put a, put a hole out foot on my dog with a hat and a gown. 10:59.075 --> 11:16.095 [SPEAKER_01]: and then flaunt it around and post it, like those are, those are two different things, but again, like how this starts to create anxiety, frustration, anxiousness, co-dependency, you know, for an example, if you, you have a little small dog, and I've talked about this before and another podcast about small dogs. 11:16.135 --> 11:17.537 [SPEAKER_01]: If you haven't listened to that, that would be 11:19.097 --> 11:31.682 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, important to listen to if you do have a small dog, but like you have a small dog, you go for a walk, you hear a siren, you pick your dog up, you hear a food cart coming, you pick your dog up, you hear a bicycle coming, you pick your dog up. 11:32.142 --> 11:41.625 [SPEAKER_01]: So in every moment and every opportunity where the dog has an opportunity to really soak something in, learn, have a new experience, et cetera, we don't allow them to because we are nervous. 11:47.568 --> 11:55.176 [SPEAKER_01]: dog that you're nervous about or if you're just in a rush and you can tuck your small dog into your, you know, your purse, like those are different scenarios. 11:55.597 --> 12:02.465 [SPEAKER_01]: What I'm saying is, is so many dog owners will unfortunately treat their dogs like humans. 12:02.665 --> 12:05.628 [SPEAKER_01]: And so the codependency thing starts to happen where 12:06.609 --> 12:10.491 [SPEAKER_01]: The dog has no opportunity to really gain confidence for themselves. 12:10.891 --> 12:14.974 [SPEAKER_01]: So at every point in time, we, again, and I've talked about this before too. 12:15.014 --> 12:16.054 [SPEAKER_01]: We talked to our dogs. 12:16.094 --> 12:20.517 [SPEAKER_01]: We over, over explain everything and they don't understand anything. 12:20.717 --> 12:23.298 [SPEAKER_01]: And that that's really hurtful to your relationship. 12:23.358 --> 12:28.921 [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, I always tell people, it's like, stop in somebody in the side of the road and speak in a completely different language. 12:29.162 --> 12:31.163 [SPEAKER_01]: How long would you sit there for that conversation? 12:32.588 --> 12:41.475 [SPEAKER_01]: If you just were on a train and somebody came up to you and go, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you'd be like, sorry man, and walk away. 12:41.756 --> 12:46.099 [SPEAKER_01]: You would disengage, you would actually feel so uncomfortable and you would definitely disengage. 12:46.119 --> 12:48.601 [SPEAKER_01]: You wouldn't try to engage in that because you don't understand it. 12:49.262 --> 12:50.482 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's just one example. 12:50.583 --> 12:52.924 [SPEAKER_01]: If somebody did that to you one time, 12:54.425 --> 12:56.246 [SPEAKER_01]: then you wouldn't engage. 12:56.286 --> 13:03.269 [SPEAKER_01]: Now imagine you're doing that to your dog for their entire life, like literally hours upon hours. 13:03.750 --> 13:04.890 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's a big deal, right? 13:04.950 --> 13:13.114 [SPEAKER_01]: So again, humanization of dogs, if we really understand that this dog is an animal and they do not understand the sentences that are coming out of my mouth. 13:13.934 --> 13:20.161 [SPEAKER_01]: That's a problem, that's a problem, that's part of the problem, that anthropomorphism, right humanizing the dog. 13:20.722 --> 13:24.706 [SPEAKER_01]: Now to be to kind of split hairs here, I talked to dogs all the time. 13:24.746 --> 13:26.688 [SPEAKER_01]: I posted a video yesterday about me. 13:27.048 --> 13:34.737 [SPEAKER_01]: So this sweet dog that I've been working with had really bad reactivity issues in the owners were like beside themselves. 13:36.270 --> 13:49.563 [SPEAKER_01]: And so what I did is I sweet talk the dog, but the difference between using voice inflection to get brownie points from a dog and have a conversation with a dog and expect them to understand it. 13:49.984 --> 13:51.125 [SPEAKER_01]: Here's the difference. 13:51.185 --> 13:51.385 [SPEAKER_01]: Ready? 13:52.446 --> 13:56.748 [SPEAKER_01]: So this dog came up actually I think I have actually I'll just give you guys. 13:56.788 --> 14:13.715 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean if I can if I can put you on here I'm gonna show you guys This this video that I did but it was basically again like this dog that was like really insecure on really nervous and then I ended up doing this 14:15.517 --> 14:15.917 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, shoot. 14:16.578 --> 14:18.379 [SPEAKER_01]: You guys probably can't hear it because it's in my other speaker. 14:18.399 --> 14:19.900 [SPEAKER_01]: But anyway, I just said, oh good. 14:20.220 --> 14:21.200 [SPEAKER_01]: I said good boy. 14:21.520 --> 14:22.341 [SPEAKER_01]: Good boy. 14:22.801 --> 14:23.662 [SPEAKER_01]: Good job. 14:24.062 --> 14:24.842 [SPEAKER_01]: Well done. 14:25.763 --> 14:28.464 [SPEAKER_01]: Now at any point in time, I could have said you're an awful dog. 14:28.924 --> 14:30.105 [SPEAKER_01]: You're terrible. 14:30.665 --> 14:32.146 [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to bring you to the pound. 14:33.867 --> 14:48.216 [SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, people may laugh about that, but the reality is is that the voice inflection is what the dog is understanding, they understand that sweet, nice voice, just like if you were in another country, and somebody said, 15:02.610 --> 15:06.411 [SPEAKER_01]: If it gets, yeah, me again, it's good. 15:07.012 --> 15:08.292 [SPEAKER_01]: Don't get shit, right? 15:08.332 --> 15:11.933 [SPEAKER_01]: Like it's like, you guys can tell like the voice inflection or two different things. 15:11.973 --> 15:19.596 [SPEAKER_01]: So hopefully that's a good enough example for you guys to understand dogs really respond animals in general, respond to voice inflection, not what you say. 15:19.976 --> 15:31.420 [SPEAKER_01]: Now the difference is when I'm trying outside of what I just explained like that voice inflection but the other difference is is when a dog owner comes home from work and they're putting their stuff down and they go, 15:31.980 --> 15:33.802 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh hey, Roscoe, how are you? 15:33.862 --> 15:34.983 [SPEAKER_01]: My day was so good. 15:35.023 --> 15:35.923 [SPEAKER_01]: What did you do today? 15:35.983 --> 15:36.804 [SPEAKER_01]: What did you do? 15:37.284 --> 15:38.966 [SPEAKER_01]: Did you have a poop in the corner? 15:39.606 --> 15:40.867 [SPEAKER_01]: Do you want to go for a ride? 15:40.887 --> 15:41.888 [SPEAKER_01]: Would you like to do this? 15:42.228 --> 15:44.570 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, and here's the thing that I always tell people. 15:44.830 --> 15:50.695 [SPEAKER_01]: When you say dogs understand the question that you're asking, they understand cues, they understand specific words. 15:51.416 --> 15:52.637 [SPEAKER_01]: Do you want to go for a walk? 15:53.037 --> 15:54.998 [SPEAKER_01]: Is much different than coming home and saying, 15:55.779 --> 15:57.381 [SPEAKER_01]: Hey buddy, did you have a good day? 15:57.401 --> 15:58.763 [SPEAKER_01]: Do you want to go see grandma? 15:58.783 --> 16:02.848 [SPEAKER_01]: Do you want to go like having that conversation over and over? 16:03.128 --> 16:05.151 [SPEAKER_01]: And a lot of times dog owners are like, can you sit? 16:05.231 --> 16:05.972 [SPEAKER_01]: How about we sit down? 16:06.012 --> 16:06.452 [SPEAKER_01]: Can we sit? 16:06.472 --> 16:07.994 [SPEAKER_01]: Because hey, Tom's a really nice guy. 16:08.254 --> 16:09.436 [SPEAKER_01]: He's not going to do anything to you. 16:09.496 --> 16:10.277 [SPEAKER_01]: I know your nervous. 16:10.417 --> 16:11.158 [SPEAKER_01]: I know your nervous. 16:11.639 --> 16:12.560 [SPEAKER_01]: That is all. 16:14.200 --> 16:16.762 [SPEAKER_01]: That is literally all because of how we feel. 16:16.822 --> 16:20.965 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, we're nervous, we're displaying this, and I catch dog owners do this all the time. 16:21.045 --> 16:30.813 [SPEAKER_01]: So, that humanization, a lot of times is generally, I shouldn't say generally, but it can be a reflection off of our insecurities too. 16:31.353 --> 16:35.556 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, if we're nervous about something, we typically reflect it on to our dog to make things comfortable. 16:35.717 --> 16:37.018 [SPEAKER_01]: I do it all the time with my kids. 16:37.578 --> 16:40.981 [SPEAKER_01]: If I'm in a, like, let's say, if I go to an event, 16:41.501 --> 16:50.671 [SPEAKER_01]: And there's a lot of small talk that needs to be happening, you know, with, like, old friends or, you know, old friend groups or new friend groups or You know, business things. 16:50.751 --> 16:55.956 [SPEAKER_01]: I'll pick up my kid and I'll just walk around and and basically, oh, hey, yeah, good to see it. 16:55.996 --> 16:57.178 [SPEAKER_01]: Gotta go, you know, 16:57.918 --> 17:05.363 [SPEAKER_01]: Uh, not I shouldn't say gotta go, but it's more like the engagement is gonna be different because I'm preoccupied You know with something in my hand. 17:05.383 --> 17:12.487 [SPEAKER_01]: I know a lot of people probably are listening can relate to that like kids can be a nice ice break or sometimes And also kind of like get out of jail free card. 17:12.827 --> 17:14.628 [SPEAKER_01]: So you don't have to small talk about stuff 17:15.228 --> 17:35.377 [SPEAKER_01]: But so understanding the humanization of dogs, again, like they don't, they don't want the coat, they don't want the fancy this, they don't want the fancy that like dog think about dogs who live in the homeless with homeless people, like traveling the world in different places, 17:36.657 --> 17:54.335 [SPEAKER_01]: is like I've seen so many homeless people right and they have dogs and the dogs if you guys can you know think of this too like they have dogs into the chillest, comest, sweetest dog they literally like don't even pick their head up they're just so chill and content because 17:56.116 --> 18:17.747 [SPEAKER_01]: They're not, you know, they don't need all the fancy things is what I'm saying like you know same thing with kids like giving your kids a bunch of shiny things For no reason isn't like a form of love like that's again, I think a lot of people just love their dog so much and The best and here's the whole point of this podcast if you love your dog 18:18.987 --> 18:31.652 [SPEAKER_01]: Give them training, give them leadership, give them something to do, give them, give them something that is helpful for them and useful for them, right? 18:31.732 --> 18:35.514 [SPEAKER_01]: So instead of like you're dog getting anxious and you're going to okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. 18:35.974 --> 18:38.775 [SPEAKER_01]: Like again, that's a humanization, that's making things worse. 18:39.876 --> 18:40.656 [SPEAKER_01]: That's you becoming 18:44.005 --> 18:47.426 [SPEAKER_01]: sad about a situation and doing the only thing you think possible. 18:47.446 --> 18:53.747 [SPEAKER_01]: And again, this isn't a podcast to say, hey, dog owners who do this or pet dog owners, I think a lot of people just don't realize it. 18:55.007 --> 19:03.049 [SPEAKER_01]: What they're doing is usually creating, unfortunately, this issue of creating anxiety. 19:03.149 --> 19:09.290 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's really just important to understand anything else in life, guys. 19:09.931 --> 19:11.671 [SPEAKER_01]: It's just important to understand 19:13.659 --> 19:24.750 [SPEAKER_01]: take everything with a grain of salt and go on throughout your day with your dog understanding that they don't understand the conversations you're having. 19:25.310 --> 19:29.874 [SPEAKER_01]: They would much rather have a structured walk than a pull fest. 19:30.515 --> 19:34.399 [SPEAKER_01]: They would much rather go and do some training then go to the dog park. 19:35.019 --> 19:54.172 [SPEAKER_01]: they would much rather you tell them to play sit and stay because they understand it then you have a full-long conversation with them about how work was and how the people at work are jerks and how you don't really want to go back and how much you love them and how much like you know beautiful of it so but again I think it's important that I when I always tell people to stop talking to their dogs or 19:54.972 --> 20:11.984 [SPEAKER_01]: whatever, or giving your dog structure, once you do have structure and you do have discipline and you do have a clear healthy relationship, then you can read in the dictionary, but 99% of people who are listening to this and watching this don't have that relationship with their dog. 20:12.384 --> 20:14.305 [SPEAKER_01]: So they wonder, why doesn't my dog listen to me? 20:14.365 --> 20:16.887 [SPEAKER_01]: We'll ask yourself, your dog is trying to 20:18.788 --> 20:21.510 [SPEAKER_01]: sit down, stay, heal, come. 20:22.291 --> 20:31.398 [SPEAKER_01]: If you've talked to your dog all day long, every day, why would, why would they at any point in time, all of a sudden go, oh, okay, I'm going to do that. 20:32.519 --> 20:32.739 [SPEAKER_01]: Right? 20:32.759 --> 20:36.282 [SPEAKER_01]: Like if you say, hey, buddy, how was your day? 20:36.442 --> 20:37.963 [SPEAKER_01]: Did you like daycare? 20:38.423 --> 20:40.445 [SPEAKER_01]: That's, I think 11 things, 20:46.397 --> 21:02.974 [SPEAKER_01]: communicate with your dog in a way that they understand and understand that your dogs are animals and they would do much better with working and structure and thinking and boundaries. 21:03.074 --> 21:03.915 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, boundaries is 21:04.776 --> 21:28.654 [SPEAKER_01]: so so underestimated as well like just asking your dog to do something and then giving them boundaries on a heel or giving them boundaries when they're on their place like not making things a free for all that's where everything think about it you get it let's say you adopt a kid their two years old they come from Venezuela they come from Alaska they come from Hawaii 21:34.038 --> 21:34.698 [SPEAKER_01]: when you want. 21:35.118 --> 21:35.838 [SPEAKER_01]: How you want. 21:36.419 --> 21:38.299 [SPEAKER_01]: No boundaries, no rules. 21:38.659 --> 21:39.279 [SPEAKER_01]: You want to bike. 21:39.299 --> 21:39.919 [SPEAKER_01]: You got to bike. 21:40.560 --> 21:41.140 [SPEAKER_01]: You want to car. 21:41.160 --> 21:41.840 [SPEAKER_01]: You got to car. 21:42.260 --> 21:42.900 [SPEAKER_01]: You want sweets. 21:42.920 --> 21:43.560 [SPEAKER_01]: You got to sweet. 21:44.000 --> 21:45.121 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, you don't want to go to bed on time. 21:45.141 --> 21:45.581 [SPEAKER_01]: That's fine. 21:45.621 --> 21:46.021 [SPEAKER_01]: Stay up. 21:46.521 --> 21:47.481 [SPEAKER_01]: You don't want to brush your teeth. 21:47.541 --> 21:48.061 [SPEAKER_01]: That's cool. 21:48.301 --> 21:48.861 [SPEAKER_01]: We don't care. 21:49.301 --> 21:51.082 [SPEAKER_01]: Because we don't want to provide stress to you. 21:51.662 --> 21:53.422 [SPEAKER_01]: We don't want to put any anxiety on you. 21:53.462 --> 21:55.163 [SPEAKER_01]: We don't want to put any discomfort on you. 21:56.321 --> 22:02.263 [SPEAKER_01]: A lot of people do that with their dogs because they think that the dog is going to like that or they think the dog is going to benefit from that. 22:02.283 --> 22:11.087 [SPEAKER_01]: They don't want to see their dog stress in any way shape or form when the reality is is you would be arrested by child protective services if you did that. 22:11.627 --> 22:38.905 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's the same thing for dogs, except there isn't anything like that for dogs, there's dog trainers like me who work with dogs for a living who they come in and the dog is a complete mess, they're completely irrational, they're anxieties through the roof, the reactivities through the roof, their co-dependent, and they don't, and the owners are like, I don't know what the heck's going on, and then they have a full-blown conversation with them about why they're there, and then ask them, can you sit, how about we sit, can we sit? 22:38.925 --> 22:39.665 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, they don't want to sit. 22:41.166 --> 23:02.182 [SPEAKER_01]: like you know it's it's so yeah I mean you guys can probably see a little bit of and here a little bit of frustration through my you know through my teeth here but it is it's just such a simple fix that people can do by just doing less and acting more that's what dogs want to do because they don't understand what you're saying they don't understand 23:03.303 --> 23:13.294 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, like how to communicate with you if you're just constantly overloading them and over exposing them and over talking and over communicating in a way that they don't understand. 23:13.874 --> 23:20.961 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's the humanization and the anthropomorphism that, you know, really does a lot of damage to dogs. 23:21.322 --> 23:25.726 [SPEAKER_01]: Like again, like dogs who are six-month-old that are an astrologer. 23:26.507 --> 23:47.746 [SPEAKER_01]: that don't need to be right and i've and i've said this before and again it's context like as you guys know i love dogs if somebody has a broken leg or they're freaking senior i'm not come i'm not saying like that's bad and even if i did like all this is subjective but for me i'm i don't i don't try to build a platform or community telling people what they can and can't do what i'm just trying to tell people is hey 23:49.647 --> 24:08.500 [SPEAKER_01]: This is what I've been doing for this many years here's here's the line through it all Here's what I see every single dog owner who comes in with all these behavioral issues is Like these five pillars and I've talked about them in many different ways and Anthropomorphism is one of them like the oh, I feel like I had a 24:09.954 --> 24:20.245 [SPEAKER_01]: For an example, I had a client in, she had a disabled dog, and I remember the dog had like wheels in the back. 24:21.386 --> 24:32.378 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, you know, the handicapped basically, and she wouldn't, she basically wouldn't do anything with the dog, like the dog, 24:33.524 --> 24:42.347 [SPEAKER_01]: literally, I mean, I remember the wheels like would slide off just a little bit and she'd run over and stop the dog and make sure everything was okay. 24:42.487 --> 24:44.948 [SPEAKER_01]: And here's the problem. 24:45.408 --> 24:51.430 [SPEAKER_01]: Is that same dog was getting was trying to bite me when we tried to pick the dog up. 24:52.482 --> 25:11.256 [SPEAKER_01]: And so there's always this trade-off, right, where you are way over-protective, way over-concerned about a dog who's not caring about anything, and we're like, oh God, and we're just chomping at the thought of the dog being uncomfortable when they're absolutely not. 25:11.276 --> 25:17.240 [SPEAKER_01]: A dog that's uncomfortable is going to cry, wine, try to get away, right? 25:17.620 --> 25:20.563 [SPEAKER_01]: All these things are pretty clear when a dog is very uncomfortable. 25:21.263 --> 25:41.324 [SPEAKER_01]: And I just remember like she had these two wheels on the back, you know, and there was like harness and anytime like the wheels would get at a place slightly, she'd come running over and picked the dog up and like restart everything and it really was hard to progress with the dog because the dog and I are sitting there going like, 25:42.834 --> 25:43.494 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, are you good? 25:43.735 --> 25:52.701 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, in my head, the dogs that you haven't totally fine, but the owner just couldn't allow the dog to work, couldn't allow the dog to be a dog. 25:53.241 --> 26:00.206 [SPEAKER_01]: Just constantly hell of coptering, constantly saving the dog that didn't need to be saved or wanted to be saved. 26:01.006 --> 26:09.032 [SPEAKER_01]: Like I had food and I was luring the dog with food and if the rails or the wheels would like go off center just a little bit, we'd have to stop everything and restart. 26:09.052 --> 26:10.933 [SPEAKER_01]: And me and the dog are looking at each other like, really? 26:13.610 --> 26:23.766 [SPEAKER_01]: And this is many, many years ago, it's just a really nice lady, but, you know, and I told her, I was like, you know, and so the problem was, I would pick up the dog and the dog would try to bite me. 26:24.502 --> 26:30.168 [SPEAKER_01]: And so we used bike gloves and I just remember I'm like, you really like that was a such a perfect example. 26:30.208 --> 26:46.946 [SPEAKER_01]: The dog that was trying to bite me actively was only trying to bite me because the owner has stripped away every bit of confidence and self thinking and critical thinking that the dog could do on his own because at any point of discomfort or 26:50.437 --> 26:55.441 [SPEAKER_01]: like he had discomfort, I guess, is the best way to put it or adversity. 26:55.602 --> 26:59.065 [SPEAKER_01]: Like the owner would come and be like, oh, you know, it was like bubble boy. 26:59.165 --> 27:02.468 [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, how are we going to, how is this dog ever going to learn? 27:02.748 --> 27:10.014 [SPEAKER_01]: So it was so then the dog got resource guarding, the dog got really messed, you know, messed up. 27:10.234 --> 27:15.939 [SPEAKER_01]: And it was just sad to see because it was sad because the owner cared more than any other owner I've ever worked with. 27:16.820 --> 27:21.345 [SPEAKER_01]: But because she couldn't allow her dog to be a dog, she destroyed her own dog. 27:25.228 --> 27:26.510 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's that's tough. 27:26.850 --> 27:31.194 [SPEAKER_01]: That's tough to see because how do you help, you know, it's like self-sabotaging. 27:31.815 --> 27:34.117 [SPEAKER_01]: Like literally self-sabotaging. 27:34.678 --> 27:40.743 [SPEAKER_01]: That's exactly what it was, is the owner cared so much she destroyed her own dog. 27:42.183 --> 27:43.565 [SPEAKER_01]: and that's what we're talking about today. 27:44.046 --> 27:46.028 [SPEAKER_01]: I just don't want you guys to go through that. 27:46.229 --> 27:46.990 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not fun. 27:48.892 --> 27:53.098 [SPEAKER_01]: Again, 80% of dog owners who come in with reactivity, 27:55.748 --> 27:56.489 [SPEAKER_01]: to some degree. 27:56.869 --> 27:57.389 [SPEAKER_01]: Does this? 27:58.190 --> 28:03.574 [SPEAKER_01]: Like you want to show a dog that you love them, care about them, and you aren't a threat, and you're a good leader. 28:04.115 --> 28:05.336 [SPEAKER_01]: Want a dog comes up to you. 28:06.256 --> 28:08.338 [SPEAKER_01]: You can say hi and pet them, and then ignore them. 28:08.578 --> 28:12.461 [SPEAKER_01]: Like yesterday I came into the facility, and my trainers were working with a great, big, massive, 28:13.602 --> 28:18.323 [SPEAKER_01]: and he came running up to me and I just put my knee up so he didn't jump on me and walk through him. 28:19.263 --> 28:22.204 [SPEAKER_01]: And he's like, oh, so does he think I'm on friendly? 28:22.364 --> 28:22.544 [SPEAKER_01]: No. 28:23.704 --> 28:25.265 [SPEAKER_01]: Does he not like me? 28:25.505 --> 28:25.705 [SPEAKER_01]: No. 28:26.365 --> 28:27.845 [SPEAKER_01]: But does he know I'm not a threat? 28:28.005 --> 28:31.426 [SPEAKER_01]: Does he know I'm not going to get him overly stimulated to a point where he's going to jump on me? 28:31.586 --> 28:31.746 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 28:31.786 --> 28:33.566 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's that humanization thing. 28:33.586 --> 28:35.027 [SPEAKER_01]: Another perfect example of that is 28:35.947 --> 28:52.300 [SPEAKER_01]: you go out for, you go out to public places, you go downtown, your dog's just chilling, minding their own business, relax, cute, you know, just soaking up life, looking at people passing, you guys are having a great time, somebody comes up, oh hey boy, what's going on? 28:52.320 --> 28:53.981 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, how cute, I love you! 28:55.651 --> 29:17.807 [SPEAKER_01]: and then boom, the dog jumps up in the air, scratches the person, barks at the person, jumps on the person, and you're sitting there like, your coffee's going everywhere, your sandwiches going everywhere, your piece is disrupted, the dog's piece is disrupted, and that's what 90% of dog owners think is a good interaction. 29:18.647 --> 29:38.358 [SPEAKER_01]: and it's so selfish, so unbelievably selfish and it's taken me years as somebody who loves dogs deeply and has created a whole career who, like my kids, literally eat off the education I have for dogs and I'm telling you, like it took me years to understand dogs don't want any of that. 29:39.688 --> 29:41.730 [SPEAKER_01]: like it overly stimulates them. 29:42.630 --> 29:48.715 [SPEAKER_01]: It's like you getting your kids ready to go to sleep and then the uncles come over and get them all fired up and now they're like through the roof. 29:49.516 --> 29:54.720 [SPEAKER_01]: That very moment in time, that snapshot in time, yes they're happy, yes they're dopamine is firing off. 29:55.400 --> 29:56.761 [SPEAKER_01]: But now you've just ruined 29:57.762 --> 30:11.188 [SPEAKER_01]: a huge opportunity for them to go to bed and get a good quality night sleep and then the parents are the bad guys because then they have to tell them they can't stay up and they can't do this with the uncles or they can't do that and it just creates it creates tension right and so 30:12.561 --> 30:15.766 [SPEAKER_01]: Guys, I can go all day about how this happens. 30:16.246 --> 30:20.372 [SPEAKER_01]: And again, I'm kind of like the bad guy a lot of times in these situations. 30:20.652 --> 30:28.664 [SPEAKER_01]: I help a lot of dog owners, but I also make podcasts and videos like this to tell people that the things that they love to do or they think their dog loves. 30:29.992 --> 30:35.058 [SPEAKER_01]: is actually not helping and actually working against you and this is just a perfect example of that. 30:35.118 --> 30:39.482 [SPEAKER_01]: So I really hope this was helpful and landed for a lot of people who are watching and listening. 30:41.024 --> 30:51.195 [SPEAKER_01]: If you guys did enjoy this, make sure you subscribe to my second channel, Tom Davis podcast and of course if you guys are listening to this on podcast, make sure you follow because we have 30:51.676 --> 30:54.483 [SPEAKER_01]: a bunch of other goodies coming up this week and next. 30:54.504 --> 30:56.409 [SPEAKER_01]: So thank you guys so much for listening and watching. 30:56.429 --> 30:57.432 [SPEAKER_01]: I appreciate you guys. 30:57.973 --> 31:03.388 [SPEAKER_01]: All of my courses, all my merchandise and tools and training tools and equipment is linked below. 31:03.408 --> 31:06.497 [SPEAKER_01]: If you guys want to support that, thank you guys again. 31:06.517 --> 31:08.703 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'll talk to you on the next one. 31:09.064 --> 31:09.265 [SPEAKER_01]: Bye.