[SPEAKER_06]: We're both spent.
[SPEAKER_06]: We're sweaty, it's hot, we're laying there together side by side naked on our rug in the living room.
[SPEAKER_06]: Are you worried or husband might come home?
[SPEAKER_06]: Not until
[SPEAKER_06]: we rolled over spent, did that thought even crossed my mind, and then I was sick.
[SPEAKER_06]: Oh God, you know, Billy Bugg come home anytime and you know, murder us both.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's how the handle thing is in middle and taxes.
[SPEAKER_06]: Everyone has guns.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: And for any prolific sex worker in West Texas, whose clientele is predominantly wealthy housewives getting shot on the job is a real concern.
[SPEAKER_04]: Hundreds of women have paid you under the guise of coming over being a handyman and then they're really paying you for sex.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_04]: hundreds in Midland, Texas.
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_04]: The older I get, the more I realize nothing is what it appears to be.
[SPEAKER_06]: Not in the least.
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm Jonathan Walton, and this is the handyman of West Texas.
[SPEAKER_04]: Episode 1.
[SPEAKER_04]: She was a deacon in her church.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, you're fine.
[SPEAKER_04]: They're very sensitive, but I'm going to close you to the better obviously.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_05]: All right.
[SPEAKER_06]: Excited.
[SPEAKER_06]: On everything sounds good.
[SPEAKER_04]: How would you introduce yourself?
[SPEAKER_04]: And I know we're trying to keep you anonymous, and we're trying to protect our identity.
[SPEAKER_04]: What name do you go by?
[SPEAKER_04]: I always go by Mickey.
[SPEAKER_04]: Mickey.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like Mickey Mouse?
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, just like that.
[SPEAKER_04]: All right, Mickey.
[SPEAKER_04]: So introduce yourself to people if you're just meeting someone through the first time.
[SPEAKER_04]: And choose yourself and tell me what you do.
[SPEAKER_06]: Oh, my name's Mickey.
[SPEAKER_06]: And I'm a kind of jack of all trades and whatever you need done in and out of your house.
[SPEAKER_06]: I'm pretty sure I can do it.
[SPEAKER_04]: And never has that sentence meant more than coming from your mouth.
[SPEAKER_04]: Whatever you need done, I kind of leave it open ended just for that reason.
[SPEAKER_04]: For lack of a better term, you're a handy man.
[SPEAKER_04]: you know how to fix things around the house.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, what kinds of jobs do you do?
[SPEAKER_06]: I can do flooring, I can do drywall, I can do electrical, I can do plumbing, I can do framing, I can do roofing, I can do exterior landscaping, fence building, rock wall, sheet rock, just about anything.
[SPEAKER_06]: If you have a home that you don't like, I can rip it apart from the ground up and rebuild it to your needs.
[SPEAKER_04]: but Mickey isn't from Texas.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's actually born a thousand miles west of Midland, in Los Angeles, in the late 1970s.
[SPEAKER_04]: And he lives in the city of Angels until his early 20s, before heading east.
[SPEAKER_06]: those 23 and then I got married, moved to Texas was conservative, faithful, you know, father and husband and going to work, coming home, you know, nine to five kind of thing.
[SPEAKER_04]: But after 20 years, Mickey and his wife go their separate ways, and get divorced, and he rents his own place in Midland, and throws himself into his work.
[SPEAKER_04]: Mickey is an oil guy, a fracker.
[SPEAKER_06]: So the job basically is hooking up tons of iron and equipment.
[SPEAKER_06]: High pressure water induced pumps and why they call it fracking is because we're fracturing the earth.
[SPEAKER_06]: They drill down about three miles into the earth and we pump
[SPEAKER_06]: millions and millions of gallons of water under high pressure with sand and force the earth fracture and we fill it with sand and crack it as far as we can go and then once we're done we pump out the water oil comes out behind it.
[SPEAKER_06]: We are now the number one producer of oil in the world, more than Saudi Arabia, more than Russia, more than anyone.
[SPEAKER_06]: And 75% of it is done right there in the Midland Texas area, which is surprising.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and it recently got my attention with that Hitchh Show landman with Bill Bob.
[SPEAKER_04]: Billie Bob Thornton, John Ham, it's set in the Midland area in the oil industry.
[SPEAKER_03]: pulling gas industry makes $3 billion a day into your profit, that's the scale, that's the size of this thing, and it's only getting bigger.
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, that's exactly the life I was living, those are the kind of guys that I work around, and that's exactly, it's pretty accurate assessment of what life out there in a middle and Texas.
[SPEAKER_04]: Landmen, such an amazing show, and it's pretty close to really, that's life and there you live.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's a part of Texas, West Texas, where black gold reigns supreme.
[SPEAKER_04]: We're pistoning oiled aerics, pumping up Texas T from the depths, are everywhere you look, and millionaire mercenaries lined up by the thousands, are caching in, left and right.
[SPEAKER_06]: It's a boom town when things are great, and it's a ghost town when it's not.
[SPEAKER_06]: Because the price of oil goes down, then we can't afford to do what we do.
[SPEAKER_03]: Really?
[SPEAKER_06]: But when the price of oil is anywhere over $60 a barrel, which I think right now it's maybe 85.
[SPEAKER_06]: They're making millions every single minute that we pump.
[SPEAKER_04]: So it's almost like it sounds like fracking is like squeezing all the oil out of the sand and rock.
[SPEAKER_06]: That's basically what it is.
[SPEAKER_04]: Look, it's trapped.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's trapped in the sand and rock.
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, back in the old days, you would drill a hole and hope for the best that where you were drilling.
[SPEAKER_06]: There was oil underneath there.
[SPEAKER_06]: You poke the hole once you hit oil or starts coming out.
[SPEAKER_06]: It's not that way at all with fracturing.
[SPEAKER_06]: We know it's under there, but we have to force it out.
[SPEAKER_04]: It reminds me of that opening scene in the Beverly Hill Village, you know, where he's shooting for food and then he shoots into the ground and then oil just starts bubbling out of her first thing, you know, old judge a millionaire, the kid who folks said,
[SPEAKER_04]: That's burned into my head from my childhood.
[SPEAKER_04]: Did you watch that show?
[SPEAKER_04]: I did.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's how oil was so easily accessible back in the day, which has come up out of the ground.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: But not anymore.
[SPEAKER_06]: First of all, all the areas where that type of oil is, you know, accessible is already bought by all the Chevrons and all the big companies of the world and they've sucked it out today.
[SPEAKER_06]: Well, they've not so much sucked it out as they laid claim to the land, so they decide, you know,
[SPEAKER_06]: Ah, we need a little bit more, let's go poke a hole over here, poke hole over there.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_06]: And in the middle of the area, the premium basin, that area is still very much white open.
[SPEAKER_06]: There's still land to buy, but it went from maybe $500 an acre to $10,000 an acre, just because they know what's underneath the ground now.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, they can squeeze the oil out of the sand to eat as much as they can.
[SPEAKER_06]: Three miles is pretty deep, yeah.
[SPEAKER_06]: And they're doing 3 miles deep and it's horizontal drilling.
[SPEAKER_06]: So it's not down anymore.
[SPEAKER_06]: It's down and then it starts curving.
[SPEAKER_06]: It makes that like a 90-degree angle.
[SPEAKER_06]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_06]: Three miles under the earth.
[SPEAKER_06]: So technologies come along way.
[SPEAKER_04]: The fracking in Midland, Texas is like what casinos are in Las Vegas, Nevada, or what Disney World is in Orlando, Florida.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's the reason people go, and it's the land of opportunity.
[SPEAKER_04]: Come as you are, you don't need a college degree, or even a high school diploma, you just need to be willing and able.
[SPEAKER_06]: The median income of this desert town is $80 or $90,000.
[SPEAKER_06]: Because you can get a kid off the street who's never worked a day in his life in the oil field.
[SPEAKER_06]: And you're starting at $65,000.
[SPEAKER_06]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's attractive.
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_06]: And I know there's a lot of controversy with the fracking.
[SPEAKER_06]: to lose to groundwater, or we're raping Mother Earth every day.
[SPEAKER_06]: Wow, yeah, there's no other way to look at it because that's what we're doing.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can have every car in America.
[SPEAKER_06]: Electric car, you're still gonna need petroleum products.
[SPEAKER_06]: Everything is made more.
[SPEAKER_06]: Everything plastered.
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes, well, we do live in a plastic world.
[SPEAKER_04]: We do live in a plastic world.
[SPEAKER_06]: I live in L.A. probably the most plastic of them all.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes, plastic is you, but Midland Texas is the polar opposite of Los Angeles, California, in every conceivable way.
[SPEAKER_04]: There are no homeless people in the Midland Texas.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's interesting.
[SPEAKER_04]: So is it that Midland has solved homelessness or is it just two damn hot?
[SPEAKER_06]: No, it's the absence of protective flaws, I guess, a government movement.
[SPEAKER_06]: What do you apply?
[SPEAKER_06]: I would lie.
[SPEAKER_06]: Would homeless people get shot and eaten?
[SPEAKER_06]: They would get beaten in a dragged away to another town.
[SPEAKER_06]: No.
[SPEAKER_06]: They don't want people lying around.
[SPEAKER_06]: Lying around.
[SPEAKER_06]: They're making on the corners, or you know, occupying the sides of their feet,
[SPEAKER_04]: They figured it out.
[SPEAKER_06]: They figured it out.
[SPEAKER_04]: And it's not a friendly figure out.
[SPEAKER_04]: No.
[SPEAKER_06]: It's a suspension of law in order, and you know, just get it done kind of, rambo-type minute.
[SPEAKER_06]: Can I get something to eat?
[SPEAKER_06]: Not in this time.
[SPEAKER_04]: How would you describe Midland for people who don't know that part of Texas?
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, people know Dallas, people know Houston, people know Austin, people Austin, weird.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's where all the music festivals, it's out by Southwest, but Midland, Texas.
[SPEAKER_06]: What's that?
[SPEAKER_06]: Midland, Texas is as far away from any of that as you can imagine.
[SPEAKER_06]: So you can stand in one place, doesn't matter where you're at in town, do a whole 360 fan, you're looking at desert.
[SPEAKER_06]: where it is nothing out here.
[SPEAKER_06]: This is an oil town oil industry.
[SPEAKER_06]: I would say 80% of the population has some kind of job in and around the oil field.
[SPEAKER_06]: There's nothing in Midland.
[SPEAKER_06]: You had to visit for whatever reason you were planning on the biggest thing to see is like the house that George W grew up in.
[SPEAKER_00]: Growing up with mother and dad was an interesting experience.
[SPEAKER_06]: They made a little kind of museum out of it, right, or, you know, two bedroom, one bath house in the middle of town and that's about it.
[SPEAKER_06]: So that's the draw of Midland.
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes, well, it's not a draw, but it's something to do while you're there.
[SPEAKER_06]: And the stadium where they did Friday night lights.
[SPEAKER_06]: And what brought you to Midland?
[SPEAKER_06]: Hydraulic fracturing boom was in the Midland area in the Permian Basin, and there's apparently billions of billions of dollars worth of oil underneath Midland area.
[SPEAKER_06]: And I got job there.
[SPEAKER_06]: That's how I discovered that Midland existed.
[SPEAKER_06]: How would you describe the culture of Midland taxes?
[SPEAKER_06]: It's right in the center of the Texas Bible Belt.
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, there's actually some counties around us that won't sell alcohol.
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, like you can't get alcohol anywhere anywhere there's called dry counties and you drive the room and there's They won't sell them in like not a similar liquor stores.
[SPEAKER_04]: No supermarket alcohol.
[SPEAKER_06]: No nothing.
[SPEAKER_06]: You cannot and it's illegal if you bring alcohol into a dry county you can get arrested
[SPEAKER_06]: and then they have some crazy laws when I first moved there, I didn't understand it.
[SPEAKER_06]: On Sundays, they don't sell alcohol.
[SPEAKER_06]: You can buy beer, but not alcohol, for some reason.
[SPEAKER_06]: And you can't buy it before noon, because you have to wait until the church is over.
[SPEAKER_06]: It's an actual law all throughout Texas.
[SPEAKER_06]: You can't drink until noon in a Sunday on a Sunday after church.
[SPEAKER_06]: And only beer, for some reason.
[SPEAKER_06]: What about the whole heat turned water into wine thing?
[SPEAKER_06]: Apparently not in Texas.
[SPEAKER_04]: So everyone goes to church in Midland, Texas.
[SPEAKER_06]: Ah, as far as I know, yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: Are there a lot of churches?
[SPEAKER_04]: There's churches everywhere.
[SPEAKER_06]: The Presbyterian Methodist Catholic.
[SPEAKER_06]: What are you?
[SPEAKER_06]: None of the above.
[SPEAKER_06]: Technically, I guess I'm Catholic, but yeah, I haven't got an church in the church.
[SPEAKER_04]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_04]: You grew up Catholic, Catholic school for 12 years.
[SPEAKER_06]: And that turned you off of Catholic.
[SPEAKER_06]: Oh, yeah, completely.
[SPEAKER_06]: organized religion in general.
[SPEAKER_04]: Mickey is raised in a devout Catholic household.
[SPEAKER_04]: His teachers at school are nuns and priests.
[SPEAKER_04]: He grows up very sheltered and he actually has no idea that he's well hung.
[SPEAKER_06]: like really, really well-honged.
[SPEAKER_06]: I have eight and a half thick inches, and I always please eight and a half inches, eight and a half and thick.
[SPEAKER_06]: Don't forget the thick, because that makes a big difference.
[UNKNOWN]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, that's impressive.
[SPEAKER_04]: How do you go your whole life and not know you have a huge thing down there?
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, it's, it's, it's, it's,
[SPEAKER_06]: My only point of reference, you know, up to that point was Pornos.
[SPEAKER_03]: I have something for you right here.
[SPEAKER_05]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_06]: You know, and as far as I knew, you know, I looked like all the guys in the Pornos.
[SPEAKER_06]: So I thought, So you thought that's normal.
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_06]: I mean, like I said, no other point of reference.
[SPEAKER_04]: So growing up, you weren't in like changing rooms with other boys, or other men, and no one would say, hey, you're Catholic school.
[SPEAKER_06]: They didn't do, they didn't do the shower room, kind of deals.
[SPEAKER_04]: Everyone's ashamed.
[SPEAKER_06]: Everyone's covered up.
[SPEAKER_06]: Everyone's hiding, you have your own little stalls and kind of deal and there's no group showers or yeah, I had no, nothing to compare it to.
[SPEAKER_06]: Except, you know, for what I saw, which, yeah, all those guys are the same size as me, but those guys are huge.
[SPEAKER_06]: I did another.
[SPEAKER_06]: I thought, hey, all right, I'm like those guys, I'm good.
[SPEAKER_04]: and you're married for 20 years to the same woman.
[SPEAKER_04]: So does she ever tell you, oh my God, you're hurting me?
[SPEAKER_04]: This is huge.
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, at first.
[SPEAKER_06]: And, you know, I thought,
[SPEAKER_06]: you know, that's normal.
[SPEAKER_06]: I had, you know, kind of the repressed Catholic upbringing where you don't talk about sex.
[SPEAKER_06]: You don't talk about, you know, those kind of things sounds like, okay, well, I guess sex at first is supposed to hurt the woman and they get used to it.
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, it was, it was a terrible, so you was conception that I just, you know, worked through until after I got divorced and I started getting more and more kind of, uh,
[SPEAKER_06]: an inkling into, hey, maybe I'm not just like everybody else because I would hear comments and you're the biggest I've ever had, you're so huge, you're this and that.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think if you were a kid growing up in a regular environment outside of a Catholic school like a regular school where all the boys were changing in front of each other I think you would have been a spectacle because in these types of situations the big guys are Oh my god look at you know they they everyone's got a nickname like you know art bar elephant elephant trunk or you know like yeah kids give each other nicknames based on you know
[SPEAKER_04]: Anatomy, like my buddy Evan went to school with a guy who had a huge dick everyone saw in the locker room and they called him the serpent Because you know what's up and I think that would have happened to you but you went to Catholic school Everyone changed in secret there were no public showers where you saw other boys so you had this giant tool down there and you didn't know it was giant and you're only comparison Is porno's and all the guys look like you in the porno, so you think oh, I'm normal
[SPEAKER_04]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_04]: So the wedding night with your wife.
[SPEAKER_04]: Did you just like tear it off the juice?
[SPEAKER_06]: Did she call a doctor the next day?
[SPEAKER_06]: Like, yeah, the first time was, uh, I guess, you know, hard for her.
[SPEAKER_06]: It was great for me.
[SPEAKER_06]: And I didn't realize, you know, we had to take a break for like a week.
[SPEAKER_06]: Again, I was like, you know, this, this is normal as far as, you know,
[SPEAKER_06]: That's why it's on you.
[SPEAKER_06]: I had been with several women before I got married, but again, I was really young and I attributed to, you know, everyone giving, oh, you're the most beautiful.
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_06]: Right, they're just being nice.
[SPEAKER_06]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_04]: You would say to the girl, oh, you're so beautiful.
[SPEAKER_04]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're just once a nice to say exactly.
[SPEAKER_06]: She's not ugly, but you're just harping on something to have something nice to say.
[SPEAKER_06]: And I thought they were just reiterating the same thing back to me.
[SPEAKER_06]: The polite exactly.
[SPEAKER_04]: So you have this for lack of a better term this asset or entire life and you don't realize it.
[SPEAKER_04]: How old were you when you realized that 8.5 inches is way above the standard equipment issue to most men?
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, is it my mid 40s?
[SPEAKER_04]: You're in your mid 40s before I realized, yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, my God.
[SPEAKER_04]: After I got divorced.
[SPEAKER_04]: And what are you now, 49?
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm 49 now.
[SPEAKER_04]: So just a few years ago.
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_06]: I'm about to be 15 next month and yeah, mid 40s before I realized that I was a lot bigger than the average guy.
[SPEAKER_06]: I learned over time that the average, you know, penis size anywhere from 4 to 5 inches and I was 8 and a half and quite thick.
[SPEAKER_06]: And what's fascinating to me is
[SPEAKER_04]: The moment you realize you're a lot bigger than the average guy is the same exact moment you realize.
[SPEAKER_04]: When people call a handyman, some have other ideas in mind.
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, again, I guess I was living a sheltered life or just in realized that this lifestyle existed.
[SPEAKER_06]: I was sheltered from the reality that was out there.
[SPEAKER_06]: And the first time that I was called to, I thought a legitimate, handyman job and it turned sexual that I realized, hey, this exists.
[SPEAKER_06]: Different realm of what my existence had been until that point was out there, especially in a town like Midland.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's what blows my mind, Mad Midland.
[SPEAKER_06]: Midland Texas, middle of the Bible Bill.
[UNKNOWN]: Thanks for watching!
[SPEAKER_04]: The other thing about Midland taxes is a lot of people work there, but not a lot of people live there.
[SPEAKER_04]: The city's population is just over 140,000.
[SPEAKER_06]: No one lives in Midland.
[SPEAKER_06]: Like I said, there's nothing there.
[SPEAKER_06]: So every single oilful worker basically commutes for a way over their home basis, to use them Dallas, Albuquerque, Mine was Albuquerque.
[SPEAKER_06]: So I lived.
[SPEAKER_06]: in Albuquerque, I would drive to Midland, stay there for the two weeks that I would be working and then come back for a week in Albuquerque, so on and so forth.
[SPEAKER_06]: But after I got divorced, I actually moved to Midland, why do the commute?
[SPEAKER_06]: Well, you're not going home to a life anymore.
[SPEAKER_06]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_06]: And so for the last four years I've been in Midland living.
[SPEAKER_04]: How long were you in Midland when you put up that first handyman ad?
[SPEAKER_06]: Just a couple months.
[SPEAKER_06]: I just got myself settled.
[SPEAKER_06]: Got a place and I was working and two days into it.
[SPEAKER_06]: I got bored.
[SPEAKER_06]: I was like, what am I going to do?
[SPEAKER_06]: I have a whole week to do nothing.
[SPEAKER_04]: So, Mickey has a two-week-on one-week-off work schedule, and it'd be different having a week-off in Houston, or Dallas, or Austin, or San Antonio, or any other metropolitan area.
[SPEAKER_04]: But a week-off with nothing to do in Midland, Texas can drive a person mad.
[SPEAKER_04]: So, Mickey, who's always been a man who can build and or fix anything and everything under the sun, decides to look for work as a handyman during his week off, to make some extra money and to fight the boredom and monotony of Midland.
[SPEAKER_06]: I was like, huh, you know, I put an ad out in a fake list.
[SPEAKER_06]: I could help you, you know, with stuff around your house.
[SPEAKER_06]: And didn't take me long before I got my first contact.
[SPEAKER_04]: When you put your first handyman at out on Craig's List in Midland, Texas, it was just a regular, you need a handyman, I can come fix things like there was no in UNDOW, it was a straight handyman.
[SPEAKER_04]: Unbeknownst to me, there was in UNDOW.
[SPEAKER_04]: So you didn't mean to have a new one?
[SPEAKER_06]: I didn't mean to do.
[SPEAKER_06]: As much as you can recall, what did that first ad say?
[SPEAKER_06]: The first ad was kind of along the lines of, you know,
[SPEAKER_06]: I'm a jack of all trades handyman.
[SPEAKER_06]: I'm available 24 hours a day for the next week to do all the things at your home that have been neglected.
[SPEAKER_06]: Do you have a honeydew list that hasn't been touched?
[SPEAKER_06]: I'm your man.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, even using the word touch, like that's exactly.
[SPEAKER_06]: And like I said, looking back at it, I didn't realize how suggestive I was being.
[SPEAKER_06]: And I thought it was covering my base to, you know, get them fixed things.
[SPEAKER_06]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_06]: And here's the thing.
[SPEAKER_04]: There are more than 15,000, millionaires working in the Permian Basin alone.
[SPEAKER_04]: Most of them are men, clocking in 100 hour workweeks, leaving their rich wives home alone to raise the kids and decorate the mansions and organize church fundraisers.
[SPEAKER_06]: There's plenty of lonely women whose husbands are away for long periods of time and all of the field that
[SPEAKER_06]: just filled neglected.
[SPEAKER_04]: And that feeling of neglect has a way of manifesting into something else entirely, because a lot of these wealthy housewives in Midland, Texas are in their forties and fifties.
[SPEAKER_04]: Their kids are in college.
[SPEAKER_04]: Their husbands are at work, and they have a lot of free time and money on their hands and not a whole lot to do with it.
[SPEAKER_04]: And that gives Handyman Mickey a new and exciting opportunity he does not see coming.
[SPEAKER_06]: You had all my tools and I was ready to fix things, not knowing that I'd be helping them on the other ways.
[SPEAKER_04]: So you put this ad out in Craigslist, it's your first time getting a job as a handyman.
[SPEAKER_04]: How many people call you to come over and fix something until they make a pass at you?
[SPEAKER_04]: Was it the first one?
[SPEAKER_04]: It was the very first one?
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god.
[SPEAKER_06]: It was the day after I put the ad up.
[SPEAKER_06]: And, you know, again, not thinking as being suggestive, I put a picture in the ad.
[SPEAKER_04]: I picture of yourself.
[SPEAKER_06]: A picture of myself, just so it would do.
[SPEAKER_06]: In my mind, I was thinking, hey, I don't want you to have the worry that someone anonymous person is coming over.
[SPEAKER_06]: This is what I look like.
[SPEAKER_06]: That was my reasoning behind right now it makes sense because now it's not a stranger like oh, I know what this guy looks like and you're a rugged good-looking guy And that's the thing it's oilful.
[SPEAKER_06]: We're all kind of rough and total kind of guys I'm not I'm not polish.
[SPEAKER_06]: I don't go to work in a student-eye kind of deal.
[SPEAKER_06]: So I wanted to put that out there Not knowing that that coupled with the wording in the ad was gonna you know
[SPEAKER_04]: had the effect that it had.
[SPEAKER_06]: When you put the ad a day later, a woman responds, she had what in shutters in her back that needed to be repaired and I said, yeah, I could definitely help you with that.
[SPEAKER_06]: And what were you going to charge her?
[SPEAKER_06]: So I was planning to do $100 an hour kind of charge based on, you know, what needed to be to supply as long as you know, but I always
[SPEAKER_06]: let them know ahead of time or that my plan in the head was to let them know let me take a look at it and then I can give you an accurate price.
[SPEAKER_04]: So you drive up to this house, describe what this house looks like as you drive it up.
[SPEAKER_04]: This house is massive.
[SPEAKER_06]: So it's crazy because again, there's nothing in Midland, okay?
[SPEAKER_06]: This is desert surrounded by desert.
[SPEAKER_06]: And so in the middle of this, nothing this, this lady has, you know, one of these goddie, huge mansions in the middle of the desert, you know, they have no grass, of course, because nothing will grow out there.
[SPEAKER_06]: But there's a two story wrap around with pillars in the front, hellers.
[SPEAKER_06]: Oh yeah.
[SPEAKER_06]: It was like I said it was it was got to the point that look we have so much money We don't know what to do with the colors.
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, we're going to you know we have mountains in the middle of mountains Yeah, wow, so she was rich.
[SPEAKER_06]: Oh, she was she was very rich and I'm thinking you know There's no way that there's shutters in the back of its home because This is my daughter home, but probably was just built last week kind of deal
[SPEAKER_04]: And why would she be calling some handy men on Craigslist?
[SPEAKER_06]: Exactly, you know, not what's this woman married?
[SPEAKER_06]: She was married and was her husband there?
[SPEAKER_06]: No, she mentioned when we had set up the initial meeting that her husband was on a drilling rig right now.
[SPEAKER_06]: Oh, so he works in the oil industry.
[SPEAKER_06]: Oh, no, everyone does.
[SPEAKER_06]: And he's got a lot of money.
[SPEAKER_06]: He was one of the upper guys.
[SPEAKER_06]: He was, he was Billy Bob.
[SPEAKER_04]: We're referring to that Billy Bob Thornton character in the show Landman, who oversees all the oil workers and oil executives and defuses problems that pop up with rig explosions and land leases and angry Mexican drug cartels.
[SPEAKER_03]: We don't want your oil there.
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, wishing one hand a shit in the other, see which one fills up first.
[SPEAKER_04]: God, the writing on that show is just next level.
[SPEAKER_04]: Anyway, this wealthy woman, who hires McGee to come over to her Midland Texas mansion to quote, fix some shutters, is married to a Billy Bob type, who leaves home for work early each morning, and comes home from work late each night, seven days a week.
[SPEAKER_04]: So, when Mickey arrives at this wealthy housewife's home, at around noon, she's alone.
[SPEAKER_04]: And come to find out, she doesn't really want her shutters fixed.
[SPEAKER_06]: I turned around to look at her and she immediately leans in and starts kissing me.
[SPEAKER_06]: She started kissing you.
[SPEAKER_04]: like like tongue in mouth, tongue in mouth, and keep in mind, this woman has no idea the gargantuan colossus, Mickey is packing down below, but she's about to find out.
[SPEAKER_06]: But she just, I, why don't you open kind of deal, she's at least twice as big as my husband.
[SPEAKER_04]: And this isn't just any random Midland Texas housewife either.
[SPEAKER_04]: She's pretty prominent and well-known.
[SPEAKER_04]: Things gets graphic.
[SPEAKER_06]: She's grabbing my cock when I'm on the floor and link kind of leverage in herself on top, kind of aiming herself so she could start straggling me and she said, you got to give me a minute because I've never taken anyone as big as you before.
[SPEAKER_04]: But this housewife is extremely determined and before long, she's writing me like a wild woman and did she have an orgasm?
[SPEAKER_06]: She had several.
[SPEAKER_04]: If you want to help me find my happy place, click that share button and send the handy man of West Texas to that special someone in your life who to appreciate it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Also, finger us a five star review on whatever platform you're getting this on.
[SPEAKER_04]: The handymen of West Texas was created, written, and hosted by me, Jonathan Walton, for Jonathan Walton Media.
[SPEAKER_04]: Executive producer Evan Goldstein, all sound design and editing was done by Jimmy O'Halligan, and we are just getting started with all the craziness.
[SPEAKER_04]: Mickey the handyman has got some tales to tell, so make sure you subscribe to Jonathan Walton Media and stay tuned.
[SPEAKER_04]: And if you've got a great story that you think deserves its own podcast series, pitch it to me at Jonathan Walton.com.