WEBVTT 00:03.537 --> 00:05.737 [SPEAKER_03]: previously on the handyman of West Texas. 00:06.198 --> 00:08.058 [SPEAKER_02]: You're a rugged, good-looking guy. 00:08.158 --> 00:11.779 [SPEAKER_02]: And that's the thing, it's oilful, we're all kind of rough and total kind of guys. 00:12.039 --> 00:15.199 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not polish, I don't go to work in the student tie, kind of deal. 00:15.359 --> 00:24.741 [SPEAKER_05]: And Mickey, this recently divorced oilfield fracker, starts looking for work as a handyman to mix an extra money and to have something productive to do on his time off. 00:25.402 --> 00:31.563 [SPEAKER_02]: The first ad was kind of along the lines of, you know, 00:32.535 --> 00:34.297 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm a jack of all trades handyman. 00:34.757 --> 00:42.104 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm available 24 hours a day for the next week to do all the things at your home that have been neglected. 00:42.745 --> 00:45.187 [SPEAKER_02]: Do you have a honeydew list that hasn't been touched? 00:46.247 --> 00:46.707 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm your man. 00:47.368 --> 00:49.629 [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't realize how suggestive I was being. 00:49.909 --> 00:59.853 [SPEAKER_05]: And on Mickey's first handyman house call, he quickly realizes this job is going to require one very special tool that he keeps in his pants. 01:00.473 --> 01:01.354 [SPEAKER_02]: She's like, what do you think? 01:01.394 --> 01:05.295 [SPEAKER_02]: And I turned around to look at her and she immediately leans in and starts kissing me. 01:05.475 --> 01:06.656 [SPEAKER_02]: She's starting kissing you. 01:07.263 --> 01:15.446 [SPEAKER_05]: like tongue in mouth, tongue in mouth, and this amorous housewife is pretty well-known in Midland. 01:16.086 --> 01:18.467 [SPEAKER_05]: She was, she was a deacon in her church. 01:23.689 --> 01:27.791 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm Jonathan Walton, and this is the handyman of West Texas. 01:29.371 --> 01:33.853 [SPEAKER_05]: Episode 2 Coca-Cola can thickness. 01:52.370 --> 01:56.372 [SPEAKER_03]: So you're rolling it up on this mansion in the middle of the desert and what do you think it? 01:57.233 --> 02:00.734 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm thinking, you know, I'm gonna be able to charge a fair amount. 02:00.774 --> 02:01.995 [SPEAKER_02]: She's not gonna even blink at it. 02:02.553 --> 02:06.356 [SPEAKER_05]: The mansions in Midland, Texas are large and ostentatious. 02:06.877 --> 02:13.102 [SPEAKER_05]: They're also spread out with each one sitting on acres of shrubless, brown, arid land. 02:13.722 --> 02:20.108 [SPEAKER_05]: So, nosy neighbors in Lucky Luz are hard pressed to figure out what exactly Mickey is doing there. 02:20.768 --> 02:24.491 [SPEAKER_05]: His work truck parked in the driveway is a great cover. 02:25.112 --> 02:29.676 [SPEAKER_05]: And that housewife, a woman named F***, is about to open the front door. 02:30.076 --> 02:31.117 [SPEAKER_05]: What kind of car does F*** have? 02:32.092 --> 02:34.174 [SPEAKER_05]: I don't know what kind of car I'm talking about. 02:34.214 --> 02:35.315 [SPEAKER_03]: It's like in a garage. 02:35.835 --> 02:37.436 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, in our six car garage. 02:37.917 --> 02:39.238 [SPEAKER_02]: She had a six car garage. 02:39.278 --> 02:40.018 [SPEAKER_02]: She was huge. 02:40.159 --> 02:40.619 [SPEAKER_05]: Jesus. 02:41.300 --> 02:41.440 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 02:41.460 --> 02:42.420 [SPEAKER_05]: In middle and Texas. 02:43.201 --> 02:43.962 [SPEAKER_05]: Six cars. 02:44.402 --> 02:46.003 [SPEAKER_05]: Also, it's summer now. 02:46.404 --> 02:48.666 [SPEAKER_05]: And the Texas heat, it's punishing. 02:49.066 --> 02:51.468 [SPEAKER_02]: I've made the mistake of starting a mid-July in Texas. 02:51.488 --> 02:52.268 [SPEAKER_02]: That was awful. 02:52.288 --> 02:52.389 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 02:54.170 --> 02:56.010 [SPEAKER_03]: What was the highest 1415 degrees? 02:56.030 --> 03:04.032 [SPEAKER_03]: Because what's interesting about Texas if people have never been during the summer, even when the wind blows, it's a hot wind. 03:04.392 --> 03:06.953 [SPEAKER_03]: You feel like a oven hitting your face with wind. 03:07.073 --> 03:07.273 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 03:07.453 --> 03:08.093 [SPEAKER_03]: It's bizarre. 03:08.113 --> 03:11.274 [SPEAKER_03]: It's not like in California, even Florida where there's like nice breeze. 03:11.294 --> 03:12.214 [SPEAKER_03]: And, oh, that's cooling. 03:12.634 --> 03:14.314 [SPEAKER_03]: In Texas, it's like a hot wind. 03:14.554 --> 03:15.875 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it makes it worse. 03:15.895 --> 03:16.355 [SPEAKER_02]: Can't get away. 03:20.009 --> 03:23.751 [SPEAKER_05]: The only refuge from all those high temperatures is the AC. 03:24.492 --> 03:28.834 [SPEAKER_05]: Mickey is now standing at the front door, ringing that fancy doorbell. 03:39.328 --> 03:40.309 [SPEAKER_03]: What's the door look like? 03:40.989 --> 03:46.031 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a huge, I mean, I don't know, I can't even gauge how big it was, but it was huge. 03:46.172 --> 03:47.312 [SPEAKER_03]: Like an oversized door. 03:47.352 --> 03:48.473 [SPEAKER_02]: It was two oversized doors. 03:48.573 --> 03:51.134 [SPEAKER_03]: When I go and say you'll walk into the door, do a castle. 03:51.414 --> 03:55.436 [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly, I could just feel him pulling up the ropes in the back. 03:56.977 --> 04:04.081 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a huge double door, easily 10 feet high, you know, and she opens the door herself. 04:05.141 --> 04:06.002 [SPEAKER_02]: Waring, you know, 04:07.175 --> 04:09.516 [SPEAKER_02]: I guess what her normal tire would be in the afternoon. 04:09.736 --> 04:21.359 [SPEAKER_02]: Light summer clothes, very transparent, almost, glass and kind of like to prepant and has a drink in one hand, wearing sunglasses in the house. 04:21.559 --> 04:23.240 [SPEAKER_03]: We're in sunglasses inside. 04:23.280 --> 04:23.520 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 04:28.299 --> 04:29.460 [SPEAKER_03]: And what did this woman look like? 04:30.040 --> 04:30.941 [SPEAKER_02]: Ah, she was attractive. 04:31.001 --> 04:38.526 [SPEAKER_02]: She was probably early to mid 50s, while taking care of really nice figure from what I could tell. 04:38.546 --> 04:39.627 [SPEAKER_02]: Like she's keeping it tight. 04:39.847 --> 04:42.669 [SPEAKER_02]: She is, and I mean, I guess she has nothing else to do. 04:42.729 --> 04:46.071 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, her husband's working all day, so they got a gym in the house. 04:46.231 --> 04:47.272 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, she's inside. 04:47.772 --> 04:48.973 [SPEAKER_02]: She's attractive blonde. 04:49.634 --> 04:51.735 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, about five foot, maybe a hundred pounds. 04:52.816 --> 04:54.217 [SPEAKER_02]: She was just good looking attractive woman. 05:01.262 --> 05:03.865 [SPEAKER_03]: What happens next when she tells you she opens a door high. 05:03.925 --> 05:04.646 [SPEAKER_03]: Thanks for coming. 05:05.266 --> 05:16.318 [SPEAKER_02]: Hi, and she you know puts out the feminine for a feminine handshake kind of grab the tips of her fingers kind of thing and she's like let me let me show you what I need done 05:20.350 --> 05:27.014 [SPEAKER_02]: And so we walked to the back warehouse and she's kind of showing me these shutters that I can't really see much wrong with them. 05:27.174 --> 05:35.178 [SPEAKER_02]: She's she's saying that they need to be repair like okay, you know, well let me give me a couple minutes, let me take a look at them and then I'll let you know. 05:35.998 --> 05:41.261 [SPEAKER_02]: And big enclosed patio area, huge pool for really nice house. 05:41.501 --> 05:49.946 [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, like I said, it's a million dollar home in the middle of nowhere, there's not a blade of grass to be seen, but you know nice home nonetheless. 05:53.136 --> 05:56.439 [SPEAKER_03]: Are you measuring what did these shutters need to be repaired, what's your assessment? 05:56.839 --> 06:03.065 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I'm looking at the shutters and I'm trying to find what can possibly really wrong with them because it doesn't seem like there's anything wrong with them. 06:03.165 --> 06:04.846 [SPEAKER_02]: They're first aesthetics more than anything. 06:04.866 --> 06:07.008 [SPEAKER_02]: They're not actual operational shutters. 06:07.748 --> 06:14.034 [SPEAKER_02]: So, I'm looking at the shutters and, you know, before I know it, she's calling me inside and, uh, 06:14.314 --> 06:17.096 [SPEAKER_02]: So this point, the shutters don't seem like they need fix up. 06:17.116 --> 06:23.359 [SPEAKER_02]: She doesn't need, yeah, as far as I can see, you know, I can do work to the shutters, but they didn't need any work. 06:23.419 --> 06:23.799 [SPEAKER_02]: Right. 06:23.819 --> 06:24.960 [SPEAKER_02]: There was nothing to be repaired. 06:24.980 --> 06:25.880 [SPEAKER_02]: There's nothing wrong with them. 06:26.041 --> 06:27.121 [SPEAKER_02]: And what are you thinking at that point? 06:27.141 --> 06:27.942 [SPEAKER_02]: This woman's crazy. 06:28.222 --> 06:29.022 [SPEAKER_02]: I thought she was crazy. 06:29.562 --> 06:29.883 [UNKNOWN]: Yeah. 06:30.203 --> 06:35.986 [SPEAKER_02]: I thought she's crazy, but hey, you know, maybe they really, you know, are just trying to find ways to spend money. 06:36.866 --> 06:37.087 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 06:37.447 --> 06:38.087 [SPEAKER_03]: And you need money. 06:38.267 --> 06:39.068 [SPEAKER_03]: And I can help with that. 06:39.208 --> 06:39.328 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 06:40.903 --> 06:41.403 [SPEAKER_03]: So what happens? 06:41.423 --> 06:42.724 [SPEAKER_03]: You're outside looking at the shutters. 06:43.125 --> 06:44.366 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm outside looking at the shutters. 06:44.486 --> 06:46.127 [SPEAKER_02]: Then she's like, hey, why don't you come in? 06:48.769 --> 06:51.651 [SPEAKER_02]: And so I come back inside and she's like, would you like to drink? 06:51.711 --> 06:54.133 [SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, yeah, whatever you have is fine. 06:54.873 --> 06:56.855 [SPEAKER_02]: Didn't realize she met alcoholic drink. 06:57.035 --> 06:59.297 [SPEAKER_02]: Ooh, she was drinking gin or vodka or something. 06:59.557 --> 07:02.359 [SPEAKER_02]: Ooh, and I said, yeah, vodka's fine. 07:02.379 --> 07:05.361 [SPEAKER_02]: Because she said, what would you like vodka whiskey? 07:05.501 --> 07:08.444 [SPEAKER_02]: She started naming all these liquor's and I said, okay, I'll take a vodka. 07:09.330 --> 07:27.515 [SPEAKER_02]: and so she pours me a drink and she's like sit down it's hot outside you know take a load off it's like I literally just got in there a couple minutes earlier and so I said okay so I said down on the couch and she brought me a drink it's a huge wrap around couch and you know she decided to sit right next to me 07:32.757 --> 07:38.461 [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, like, right next to me, it's a six person sofa and she's set, you know, inches away from me. 07:38.801 --> 07:41.083 [SPEAKER_05]: At this point, the signs are all there. 07:41.623 --> 07:45.926 [SPEAKER_05]: This woman clearly does not want her shutters fixed at all. 07:46.647 --> 07:48.668 [SPEAKER_05]: She wants something else entirely. 07:49.249 --> 07:53.872 [SPEAKER_05]: And even though Mickey knows what she's getting at, he's reluctant to make a move. 07:54.412 --> 07:55.133 [SPEAKER_03]: And what do you think of it? 07:55.780 --> 07:58.761 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm thinking, okay, you know, she's attractive woman. 07:59.581 --> 08:07.382 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, is this possibly, you know, more than, or something else than I had originally thought. 08:08.162 --> 08:11.143 [SPEAKER_02]: And sure enough, you know, I didn't even take a first drink. 08:12.003 --> 08:13.663 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, she's like, what do you think? 08:13.703 --> 08:17.604 [SPEAKER_02]: And I turned around to look at her and she immediately leans in and starts kissing me. 08:17.784 --> 08:22.145 [SPEAKER_02]: She started kissing you like tongue in mouth, tongue in mouth. 08:23.985 --> 08:28.676 [SPEAKER_02]: So I was taking it back, I was prepared but not prepared. 08:28.956 --> 08:32.885 [SPEAKER_02]: I wasn't expecting that to progress that fast and it did. 08:35.294 --> 08:37.316 [SPEAKER_02]: What did you kiss back like what do you do now? 08:37.336 --> 08:38.417 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know that point. 08:38.517 --> 08:41.160 [SPEAKER_02]: I look somewhere to put my glass down. 08:41.720 --> 08:43.502 [SPEAKER_02]: Started embracing her and kissing her back. 08:43.522 --> 08:46.184 [SPEAKER_02]: And next thing I know we're talking to each other's clothes. 08:46.224 --> 08:49.868 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm taking off her blouse, taking off my shirt, then come my pants. 08:50.168 --> 08:52.390 [SPEAKER_02]: And it progressed pretty quickly. 08:52.771 --> 08:58.977 [SPEAKER_05]: Mickey is in the living room of this woman's grand house, festooned with crystal chandeliers. 08:59.497 --> 09:14.493 [SPEAKER_05]: gilded fixtures in oversized furniture, and he sees framed pictures of her and her husband and her and her college aged kids all around on tables, on walls, on her phone's home screen. 09:15.340 --> 09:22.302 [SPEAKER_05]: There are even pictures of her as a deacon in her church with her pastor and parishioners hanging on the wall too. 09:23.003 --> 09:34.566 [SPEAKER_05]: But in that moment when Mickey's heart's racing and his hormones are surging, the physical chemistry he has with this married woman is just so overwhelming. 09:35.227 --> 09:42.709 [SPEAKER_05]: And the idea of pumping the brakes or just walking away from what's about to go down is non-existent. 09:48.202 --> 09:57.024 [SPEAKER_02]: So we started taking each other clothes off and before I know it was both completely naked on our couch and she's got these really beautiful, perky fake tits, fake tits. 09:57.204 --> 10:00.024 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh yeah, they were completely fake, but were they like great? 10:00.204 --> 10:04.025 [SPEAKER_03]: She had like implants to like support, like what did it fake how? 10:04.365 --> 10:07.386 [SPEAKER_02]: Fake, they were completely, you could tell that they were implants, you know? 10:07.446 --> 10:10.827 [SPEAKER_02]: She was, like I said, she was in a mid 50s and they were like up high. 10:10.887 --> 10:11.907 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh yeah, they were choking her. 10:14.087 --> 10:18.909 [SPEAKER_02]: but apparently they have the money to get them done right because they looked natural enough. 10:19.330 --> 10:24.552 [SPEAKER_02]: You knew they were fake but they didn't look, you know, two out-of-bounds plastic heat where it was actually a turnoff. 10:24.692 --> 10:26.853 [SPEAKER_02]: No, she looked, she looked good so you were turned on. 10:27.193 --> 10:28.894 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh yeah, completely, immediately. 10:29.634 --> 10:30.995 [SPEAKER_02]: And she grabbed my cock. 10:32.410 --> 10:35.134 [SPEAKER_02]: when she pulled it out, she said, oh my god, I love your cock. 10:35.194 --> 10:35.834 [SPEAKER_02]: It's perfect. 10:35.875 --> 10:40.240 [SPEAKER_02]: It looks like fucking a deal though I've seen in the in ads that I'm always too afraid to buy. 10:40.260 --> 10:43.845 [SPEAKER_02]: And again, what a compliment. 10:44.325 --> 10:47.489 [SPEAKER_02]: It was, but I attributed to, you know, she's just being proud. 10:47.509 --> 10:48.490 [SPEAKER_02]: We're in the heat of the moment. 10:48.711 --> 10:50.533 [SPEAKER_02]: I think that's those are the kind of things you say. 10:50.673 --> 10:57.596 [SPEAKER_05]: Remember, Mickey grows up a sheltered Catholic boy who never changes in front of anyone, and he never sees other guys naked. 10:58.116 --> 11:04.439 [SPEAKER_05]: The only other penises he's looked at are impornos, which are the same size as his. 11:04.839 --> 11:06.340 [SPEAKER_05]: So he thinks he's normal. 11:06.920 --> 11:13.123 [SPEAKER_05]: And this housewife is the first woman to lay her hands on Mickey's manhood since his divorce. 11:13.703 --> 11:21.068 [SPEAKER_05]: So initially he dismisses her compliment, so still it doesn't occur to you that you're rocking a huge day. 11:21.368 --> 11:21.908 [SPEAKER_05]: It does not. 11:22.648 --> 11:25.870 [SPEAKER_05]: There are none so blind as those who will not see. 11:26.851 --> 11:32.915 [SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, we're completely naked on the couch and we somehow either roll off or 11:34.207 --> 11:50.723 [SPEAKER_02]: get somehow we end up on her on her rug and they're living room, very plush, very luxurious rug and we're rolling around the floor naked and I reach up, I lean up, I'm sucking on her breasts and she's kissing me and it's, it's, it's wild. 11:50.783 --> 11:58.291 [SPEAKER_02]: It's, it devolves into, you know, wild animalistic sex, you know, before I even knew what was happening. 11:59.382 --> 12:00.424 [SPEAKER_05]: It was just like visceral. 12:00.904 --> 12:02.747 [SPEAKER_02]: It was your like animal responding. 12:02.827 --> 12:04.730 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and I was never the plan. 12:04.930 --> 12:06.272 [SPEAKER_02]: It was not a plan at all. 12:06.733 --> 12:08.215 [SPEAKER_02]: I was not prepared for this at all. 12:08.916 --> 12:12.180 [SPEAKER_02]: And I was, I got prepared pretty quick. 12:13.923 --> 12:15.225 [SPEAKER_02]: She helped me along with that. 12:22.908 --> 12:34.230 [SPEAKER_02]: And then when she gets on top, she grabs on a cock and she's kinda aiming herself so she could start stradling me and she said, you gotta give me a minute because I've never taken anyone as big as you before. 12:34.670 --> 12:37.971 [SPEAKER_02]: So at least twice as big as my husband. 12:38.131 --> 12:46.612 [SPEAKER_02]: I learned over time that the average penis size anywhere from four to five inches and I was eight and a half and quite thick. 12:47.232 --> 12:50.173 [SPEAKER_02]: I would say Coca-Cola can thickness. 12:52.265 --> 13:00.509 [SPEAKER_05]: Coca-Cola can thickness, wow, I can only imagine, logistically speaking, how tricky that is to navigate. 13:01.049 --> 13:12.595 [SPEAKER_05]: But this hyper-sexual housewife has come too far to turn back now, Mickey is her Mount Everest, and she's determined to reach the summit one way or another. 13:21.408 --> 13:27.072 [SPEAKER_02]: But she's grabbing my cock when I'm on the floor and leap kind of leveraging herself on top. 13:27.112 --> 13:28.853 [SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, I have to take it slow. 13:28.933 --> 13:30.954 [SPEAKER_02]: I have never had anyone this thick before. 13:31.635 --> 13:34.897 [SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, okay, and she's taking her time, my hands are on her ass. 13:34.917 --> 13:40.360 [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm just kind of supporting her, and she's lowering herself really slowly on me. 13:40.821 --> 13:47.665 [SPEAKER_02]: And she's, you know, not screaming, but she's not being quiet about, you know, what's happening is I'm stretching her out. 13:48.506 --> 13:48.866 [SPEAKER_02]: And she's 13:49.848 --> 13:55.792 [SPEAKER_02]: Took quite a while before she was able to finally, you know, take it all in and before she started writing me. 13:56.172 --> 14:11.142 [SPEAKER_05]: And once she gets acclimated to Mickey's length and Coca-Cola can thickness, she goes crazy, thrashing back and forth for a good 10 minutes, moaning and groaning and spasming. 14:11.942 --> 14:16.145 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, she's having the time of her life and she's, you know, writing me like a wild woman. 14:17.080 --> 14:19.561 [SPEAKER_02]: and did she have an orgasm? 14:20.041 --> 14:20.742 [SPEAKER_02]: She had several. 14:25.163 --> 14:40.249 [SPEAKER_02]: And I've learned, over time, you know, during my marriage everything was kind of video, you know, but when the women, you know, get to take control and they get on top. 14:40.269 --> 14:41.210 [SPEAKER_02]: When they get on top, 14:42.009 --> 14:45.231 [SPEAKER_02]: you know, they know what feels good and I don't even have to do a thing. 14:45.411 --> 14:49.292 [SPEAKER_02]: They, you know, adjust to, uh, to what I have. 14:50.033 --> 14:56.896 [SPEAKER_02]: And they forced, not force themselves, you know, or a guess, but they're able to achieve orgasm so much easier when they're writing. 14:57.276 --> 15:02.959 [SPEAKER_02]: And she did twice before we switched positions and I wrote her and I got on top. 15:04.048 --> 15:06.750 [SPEAKER_03]: So she had two orgasms before you even had one. 15:07.510 --> 15:12.133 [SPEAKER_03]: Yes, that's the opposite of how it normally works with a man and a woman from what I hear. 15:12.293 --> 15:13.073 [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, I'm a gay guy. 15:13.093 --> 15:14.054 [SPEAKER_03]: I've never slept with a woman. 15:14.094 --> 15:22.959 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm a ghost, you're gay, but normally the complaint is the man will huff and puff and finish, and the woman is still waiting. 15:23.580 --> 15:24.860 [SPEAKER_03]: But that's not the case here. 15:24.900 --> 15:27.482 [SPEAKER_03]: She had two orgasms before you even got to one. 15:28.263 --> 15:31.384 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and you know, it wasn't like that when I was younger. 15:32.935 --> 15:52.963 [SPEAKER_02]: definitely you know the the stereotypical guy finishes rolls over and he's he's tired and the girl goes to bed, you know, and satisfied, but over the years, you know, being married lots of sex, I've learned, you know, to control myself and actually kind of forced the issue where I'm, you know, 15:54.825 --> 16:07.522 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm specifically not even trying to achieve orgasm because I'm having a great time regardless, you know, orgasm sometimes, you know, I've learned, I don't even orgasm. 16:08.303 --> 16:11.608 [SPEAKER_02]: I'd say a good 25% of the time, I could finish the 16:12.372 --> 16:16.234 [SPEAKER_02]: the evening, never orgasm, but I'm having wonderful times. 16:16.254 --> 16:21.657 [SPEAKER_02]: She's orgasm several times and you know, they go away completely satisfied. 16:22.118 --> 16:25.960 [SPEAKER_02]: I go away completely satisfied, even though I never orgasm. 16:26.700 --> 16:35.245 [SPEAKER_03]: Is part of the conceit I may need this later, so let me say that because I'm on call, I could get called again and again and again and I want to be able to perform? 16:35.666 --> 16:36.486 [SPEAKER_03]: No, not really. 16:36.946 --> 16:38.047 [SPEAKER_03]: You're happy not to come. 16:38.833 --> 16:43.155 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm completely satisfied, never coming. 16:43.175 --> 16:45.215 [SPEAKER_02]: Some of my best experiences I've never came. 16:49.457 --> 16:49.877 [SPEAKER_02]: It's odd. 16:50.137 --> 16:51.497 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's not guy, yeah. 16:51.578 --> 16:53.298 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, most guys just want to come and get out of there. 16:53.578 --> 16:54.459 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and that's a problem. 16:54.479 --> 16:58.220 [SPEAKER_02]: That's why guys really don't have success. 16:59.507 --> 17:06.459 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, they have a lot of one night stance, but the women are going to call it back because why would they, you know, they didn't get anything out of the experience. 17:06.499 --> 17:12.910 [SPEAKER_02]: The guy did, you know, but guys generally are selfish and I try never to be in the bedroom. 17:13.617 --> 17:16.220 [SPEAKER_05]: And ladies, you say the perfect man doesn't exist. 17:17.101 --> 17:25.390 [SPEAKER_05]: Anyway, Mickey is now in the living room of this married woman's Midland Texas mansion, and she's having the time of her life. 17:26.050 --> 17:30.916 [SPEAKER_02]: She was vocal throughout the whole time, and, you know, that pumped up my ego. 17:31.456 --> 17:36.862 [SPEAKER_02]: you know, she was riding me, and I was on top of her, then I turned her around, had her doggy style. 17:37.222 --> 17:41.147 [SPEAKER_03]: So how long did this first meeting, this first sexual encounter last? 17:41.167 --> 17:44.530 [SPEAKER_03]: So she's riding you, she orgasms twice, do you change positions? 17:44.911 --> 17:46.032 [SPEAKER_03]: Do you have an orgasm? 17:46.292 --> 17:47.573 [SPEAKER_03]: I did, I did the first time. 17:48.405 --> 17:51.347 [SPEAKER_03]: And uh, I think, and how long will you their total? 17:51.367 --> 17:53.308 [SPEAKER_03]: How long does you guys have sex that day? 17:53.348 --> 17:55.989 [SPEAKER_03]: I think it was probably there around 45 minutes total. 17:56.070 --> 17:56.810 [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's wow. 17:57.070 --> 17:57.811 [SPEAKER_03]: I've got a lot in. 17:58.151 --> 18:00.172 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh yeah, in every conceivable way. 18:00.432 --> 18:01.453 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I've got a lot in. 18:01.913 --> 18:05.735 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, because I was only there about five minutes before just in the past. 18:05.815 --> 18:07.936 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh yeah, it started pretty quickly. 18:08.136 --> 18:09.077 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 18:09.097 --> 18:10.158 [SPEAKER_03]: And tongue down the throat. 18:10.338 --> 18:10.598 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 18:11.563 --> 18:12.623 [SPEAKER_03]: Wow, she takes initiative. 18:13.003 --> 18:19.085 [SPEAKER_03]: She did, and I'm glad she did, because I never would have, you know, because if you would have, she could have called the cops if she did. 18:19.145 --> 18:20.085 [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly. 18:20.265 --> 18:20.825 [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly. 18:21.085 --> 18:21.585 [SPEAKER_03]: And it's fun. 18:21.605 --> 18:22.766 [SPEAKER_03]: So man, woman thing, right? 18:22.986 --> 18:35.989 [SPEAKER_02]: It is, and it's terrible, and it's great at the same time, because, you know, gives them a little bit of control and power to take the initiative and takes all the stress off of me, as far as, hey, am I reading the science wrong? 18:36.089 --> 18:38.790 [SPEAKER_02]: Am I, you know, actually here to fix her shutters? 18:38.870 --> 18:39.970 [SPEAKER_02]: And, you know, 18:40.530 --> 18:44.255 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm getting slapped and handcuffed and yeah, I'm going to go to jail. 18:44.435 --> 18:44.856 [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly. 18:44.916 --> 18:49.983 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, especially, you know, looking how I do and looking how she does, yeah, Midland taxes. 18:50.023 --> 18:50.403 [SPEAKER_03]: Exactly. 18:50.483 --> 18:52.867 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, yeah, they were just looking for a reason to lock you up. 18:52.907 --> 18:53.868 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, they have nothing else to do. 18:54.168 --> 18:54.429 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 18:55.150 --> 18:55.710 [SPEAKER_03]: And that's hot. 19:02.822 --> 19:05.304 [SPEAKER_03]: So you roll around this woman 45 minutes. 19:05.404 --> 19:06.545 [SPEAKER_03]: She orgasms twice. 19:06.585 --> 19:07.686 [SPEAKER_03]: You orgasm once. 19:08.287 --> 19:09.287 [SPEAKER_03]: You put your clothes on. 19:09.528 --> 19:10.368 [SPEAKER_03]: It's time to go. 19:10.528 --> 19:11.169 [SPEAKER_03]: What do you say? 19:11.209 --> 19:11.929 [SPEAKER_03]: What does she say? 19:11.969 --> 19:12.750 [SPEAKER_03]: What does she pay you? 19:12.830 --> 19:13.631 [SPEAKER_03]: Does she pay you? 19:13.671 --> 19:14.411 [SPEAKER_03]: How does this go down? 19:15.132 --> 19:19.456 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, after rolling around a while, we're both spent. 19:21.177 --> 19:21.757 [SPEAKER_02]: You're sweaty. 19:21.958 --> 19:22.678 [SPEAKER_02]: We're sweaty. 19:22.718 --> 19:23.419 [SPEAKER_02]: It's hot. 19:23.819 --> 19:25.721 [SPEAKER_02]: We're laying there together side by side. 19:25.761 --> 19:27.482 [SPEAKER_02]: Naked on our rug and the living room. 19:28.083 --> 19:29.704 [SPEAKER_02]: Are you worried or husband might come home? 19:34.034 --> 19:50.987 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, not until if we rolled over spent, did that thought, even cross my mind, you know, I was, I was, my mind was elsewhere and let's, let's put it that way and then I was thinking, oh god, you know, Billy bought some home anytime and you know, murderous both. 19:53.268 --> 19:55.269 [SPEAKER_02]: And that's how the handle thing is in the middle of Texas. 19:55.409 --> 19:56.129 [SPEAKER_02]: Everyone has guns. 19:56.469 --> 19:57.950 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, everyone's got a gun. 19:58.410 --> 19:59.630 [SPEAKER_02]: It's so easy to have a gun. 19:59.670 --> 20:01.351 [SPEAKER_02]: You can go into a Walmart and buy a gun. 20:01.771 --> 20:03.311 [SPEAKER_02]: That same day, I'll just block right out. 20:03.572 --> 20:05.152 [SPEAKER_02]: And people are carrying guns in the open. 20:05.352 --> 20:07.853 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah, you know, people carry on their holsters. 20:07.913 --> 20:13.775 [SPEAKER_02]: And yeah, it's very much a Texas themed kind of a stereo type. 20:19.688 --> 20:20.489 [SPEAKER_02]: But it's there for a reason. 20:20.809 --> 20:21.030 [SPEAKER_02]: Right. 20:21.210 --> 20:22.411 [SPEAKER_02]: It's like the wild west over there. 20:22.431 --> 20:22.571 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 20:22.591 --> 20:22.832 [SPEAKER_02]: Still. 20:22.912 --> 20:24.794 [SPEAKER_02]: People have gun racks in their trucks. 20:24.994 --> 20:25.114 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 20:25.134 --> 20:28.719 [SPEAKER_02]: You can see a couple rifles and shotguns and back of everyone's truck. 20:29.079 --> 20:29.340 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 20:29.920 --> 20:30.201 [SPEAKER_05]: Yep. 20:30.441 --> 20:32.123 [SPEAKER_05]: That's how things are in that part of the country. 20:32.704 --> 20:37.449 [SPEAKER_05]: I spent seven years living in Texas, working as a TV reporter in the early 2000s. 20:38.290 --> 20:39.110 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm John of the Walton. 20:39.130 --> 20:41.711 [SPEAKER_03]: We are live tonight at Christmas Central in San Antonio. 20:41.871 --> 20:58.138 [SPEAKER_05]: And it really is a different kind of state with a barvado second to none because for nearly 10 years back in the early 1800s, Texas was actually its own country before it became a state that was known as the Republic of Texas. 21:03.677 --> 21:08.601 [SPEAKER_05]: And that pride and independent spirit is everywhere, still to this day. 21:09.121 --> 21:13.244 [SPEAKER_05]: I mean, nearly every TV commercial you watch in Texas. 21:13.564 --> 21:15.966 [SPEAKER_04]: I'm VMM, the Texas Amhert. 21:16.366 --> 21:22.110 [SPEAKER_05]: The idea of being an ass kicker and Texas tough is ubiquitous. 21:22.611 --> 21:25.973 [SPEAKER_05]: Grand Jam proving builds my bears roofed, Texas tough. 21:26.193 --> 21:27.915 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm running orange, Texas tough. 21:28.495 --> 21:30.837 [SPEAKER_01]: Tipton Ford, it's South Texas tough. 21:31.656 --> 21:45.979 [SPEAKER_05]: So basically, everyone in Texas is either an ass kicker, or aspires to be an ass kicker, and sleeping with another man's wife is more than enough to get your ass kicked, or worse, as Mickey knows, all too well. 21:48.539 --> 21:54.180 [SPEAKER_03]: In this post-nut clarity that washes over you, you start thinking, the husband could come home and shoot me. 21:54.700 --> 21:57.321 [SPEAKER_02]: And that's where I start wrapping things up. 22:02.430 --> 22:04.690 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, oh god, what just happened here? 22:04.990 --> 22:14.752 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, you're obviously married to a millionaire and this is Texas, you're Anglo, as Mexican as you can get, you know, I'm very dark skinned. 22:15.592 --> 22:18.353 [SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, I wouldn't say you're very dark skin. 22:18.713 --> 22:19.593 [SPEAKER_02]: Compared to her, I was. 22:19.653 --> 22:22.333 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so it was your white side side side. 22:22.433 --> 22:26.774 [SPEAKER_02]: She was Alabama's, you know, you know, you don't look like dark dark. 22:26.794 --> 22:27.854 [SPEAKER_02]: Let's see, let me know in the comments. 22:27.894 --> 22:29.255 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, pretty dark and middle. 22:29.335 --> 22:29.675 [SPEAKER_02]: In middle. 22:31.935 --> 22:33.297 [SPEAKER_03]: I got my LA goggles on. 22:33.437 --> 22:34.017 [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly. 22:34.037 --> 22:36.239 [SPEAKER_02]: This is the diverse melting pot. 22:36.299 --> 22:37.200 [SPEAKER_02]: Not so much over there. 22:37.380 --> 22:39.122 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, okay, so you stand out over there. 22:39.623 --> 22:39.963 [SPEAKER_02]: I do. 22:40.343 --> 22:50.974 [SPEAKER_02]: And when the realization kind of washes over me, as we're laying there naked, kind of spent, it's like, I'm gonna start getting my clothes on because, you know, I gotta get the hell out of here. 22:51.134 --> 22:54.357 [SPEAKER_02]: Who knows if the husband's gonna show up on our kids or, you know, 22:55.380 --> 22:59.126 [SPEAKER_02]: whoever might show up and find us here in this way and make it on her living room floor. 23:00.087 --> 23:07.118 [SPEAKER_02]: So, I start getting up gathering my clothes and she leans over and she kisses me, she's like, thank you for such a great time. 23:07.659 --> 23:09.041 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, I can't wait till the next time. 23:10.775 --> 23:19.362 [SPEAKER_02]: She's already planning ahead and I'm thinking of my mind that is awesome at the same time still getting my clothes on because Yeah, you know, I don't know the circumstances. 23:19.442 --> 23:20.803 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know her husband's schedule. 23:20.823 --> 23:36.176 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know anything at this point I thought I was coming over for a legitimate job that you know turn sideways in my favor, but And so as I'm getting my clothes and starting to get dressed She goes to her pocketbook that's sitting on the table next to our drinks. 23:36.316 --> 23:37.737 [SPEAKER_02]: She pulls out a couple hundred dollars 23:44.432 --> 23:54.499 [SPEAKER_02]: and she's like you can come over anytime and she gives me $200 for nothing other than the time that we spend on the floor naked because I didn't do any work. 23:55.039 --> 23:57.921 [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't fix her shutters, I didn't do anything. 23:58.241 --> 23:59.262 [SPEAKER_02]: You did lay pipe. 23:59.662 --> 24:00.022 [SPEAKER_02]: I did. 24:01.103 --> 24:03.544 [SPEAKER_02]: And apparently harder than she's been laid before. 24:05.320 --> 24:06.921 [SPEAKER_03]: $200 for what? 24:06.961 --> 24:07.502 [SPEAKER_03]: $45 minutes. 24:08.403 --> 24:16.109 [SPEAKER_05]: But Mickey goes on to make thousands of dollars from this one particular wealthy housewife because she hires him a lot. 24:18.851 --> 24:23.035 [SPEAKER_03]: How many times after that did she call you and make an appointment? 24:23.796 --> 24:24.356 [SPEAKER_02]: Several times. 24:25.057 --> 24:27.779 [SPEAKER_02]: I can't remember the exact number but it was more than a dozen. 24:27.939 --> 24:28.199 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah. 24:28.900 --> 24:29.500 [SPEAKER_03]: More than 20? 24:31.082 --> 24:31.462 [SPEAKER_02]: Probably. 24:31.562 --> 24:31.742 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 24:32.243 --> 24:32.363 [SPEAKER_03]: 40? 24:34.105 --> 24:34.725 [SPEAKER_02]: upwards of that. 24:34.865 --> 24:41.389 [SPEAKER_02]: It was a 200 bucks each time with her with her because I never said a price right. 24:41.469 --> 24:42.990 [SPEAKER_02]: She would never got to that point. 24:43.070 --> 24:43.310 [SPEAKER_03]: Right. 24:43.490 --> 24:47.432 [SPEAKER_02]: But after that first time she pretty much set to the drugs. 24:47.512 --> 24:47.733 [SPEAKER_02]: Right. 24:47.893 --> 24:49.393 [SPEAKER_02]: Every time you come over it's going to be 200 bucks. 24:49.493 --> 24:52.435 [SPEAKER_03]: And how long would all those subsequent visits last? 24:53.636 --> 24:54.696 [SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes it would last longer. 24:54.756 --> 25:00.840 [SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes as much as two hours, sometimes as little as 30 minutes depending on what her schedule was, you know, she was 25:01.740 --> 25:20.786 [SPEAKER_02]: up and coming walking around town she had to go to the flower society or wherever the hell rich women do I have no idea but she had a social calendar she had a social calendar and she would fit me in you know when she needed me fit yeah in so many ways exactly and you told me before 25:33.094 --> 25:35.576 [SPEAKER_02]: Herner has Republicans at the local church. 25:35.756 --> 25:40.660 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know, I'm not sure what kind of denomination they were, but she was a church going there. 25:41.594 --> 25:47.736 [SPEAKER_02]: and she knew, and most times that we met, it was in the time frame that she knew everyone was going to be at church. 25:48.637 --> 25:58.840 [SPEAKER_02]: Because no one was going to happen stance, stop by, because they were going to be busy in their church activities, which apparently lasted several hours for us to dumb nation. 25:59.080 --> 26:03.281 [SPEAKER_02]: It was not only the church service, but it was fellowships and afterwards. 26:03.301 --> 26:04.382 [SPEAKER_03]: They're going to do a lot of stuff. 26:04.402 --> 26:04.582 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 26:04.862 --> 26:07.883 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and that part of the world, yeah, because I, I lived in Texas. 26:07.903 --> 26:15.567 [SPEAKER_03]: So yeah, in a lot of these communities, the church is such a huge presence and informs and occupies your day, just for the church. 26:15.607 --> 26:16.147 [SPEAKER_03]: That's for the church. 26:16.167 --> 26:17.108 [SPEAKER_03]: Just for the church to do this. 26:17.148 --> 26:18.869 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, we're volunteering to do this. 26:18.909 --> 26:28.093 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, like church aside, this experience, Mickey has with this wealthy housewife really opens his eyes to a world of possibilities. 26:28.553 --> 26:29.674 [SPEAKER_02]: I realized at that moment, 26:30.667 --> 26:35.365 [SPEAKER_02]: She's probably not the only one in Midland that could use the same kind of services. 26:40.245 --> 26:50.249 [SPEAKER_05]: And in no time, word of mouth, or rather word of Mickey's giant cyclops, spreads far and wide across the vast plains of West Texas. 26:50.849 --> 26:56.571 [SPEAKER_02]: And before long, I started getting a lot of other hand-handy man calls. 26:56.891 --> 27:00.732 [SPEAKER_03]: Out of all the calls you get for handymen work, how many end up in sex? 27:04.741 --> 27:14.673 [SPEAKER_03]: Next time, on the handyman of less taxes, a lot of your encounters involve pictures like they want you to take pictures in video of them in the last five years, you know, I'm accumulating quite a catalog. 27:20.340 --> 27:23.161 [SPEAKER_05]: Oh, we're going to get into all that and so much more. 27:23.601 --> 27:27.382 [SPEAKER_05]: In the meantime, why are you listening to this podcast alone? 27:27.863 --> 27:36.465 [SPEAKER_05]: Hit the Share button on your podcast app and text the handyman of West Texas to the people in your life who enjoy it and can listen along with you. 27:36.486 --> 27:37.486 [SPEAKER_05]: Hit talk about it. 27:38.206 --> 27:45.671 [SPEAKER_05]: and leave us a five-star review, or in Mickey's case, an eight and a half-star review on whatever platform you're listening on. 27:46.111 --> 27:55.418 [SPEAKER_05]: The handyman of West Texas was created, written and hosted by me, Jonathan Walton, for Jonathan Walton Media, executive producer Evan Goldstein. 27:56.038 --> 27:59.139 [SPEAKER_05]: All Sound Design and Editing was done by Jimmy O'Holigan. 27:59.719 --> 28:04.900 [SPEAKER_05]: Make sure you're subscribed to Jonathan Walton Media so you can get alerts when new episodes drop. 28:05.341 --> 28:13.043 [SPEAKER_05]: And if you've got a great story that you think deserves its own podcast series, pitch it to me at Jonathan Walton.com.