WEBVTT 00:02.231 --> 00:05.132 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey everyone, welcome to the Christian parenting podcast. 00:05.212 --> 00:09.973 [SPEAKER_00]: Today's conversation is such a good one because we are talking about something that sounds really soft on the surface. 00:10.053 --> 00:12.693 [SPEAKER_00]: But it's actually incredibly strong and that is gentleness. 00:13.194 --> 00:19.435 [SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, I think this is something that so many of us are craving more of in our homes, in our parenting and even in our own hearts. 00:19.975 --> 00:26.177 [SPEAKER_00]: My guest today is Christy Thomas and Christy is a homeschool mom and author and a passionate voice and family discipleship. 00:26.337 --> 00:28.397 [SPEAKER_00]: She is a friend of mine who I truly adore. 00:28.437 --> 00:30.658 [SPEAKER_00]: She is so wise and I think that you're gonna really love her. 00:32.678 --> 00:41.427 [SPEAKER_00]: She has written several books for parents and kids, and today we're talking about her newest devotional, which is everyday prayers for gentleness, embracing the quiet strength of tenderness. 00:42.093 --> 00:45.316 [SPEAKER_00]: So today, we talk about what gentleness actually is. 00:45.877 --> 00:54.645 [SPEAKER_00]: Why it's often misunderstood as a weakness and how gentleness of Jesus changes the way we respond to our kids, handle frustration and disciple our families. 00:55.265 --> 01:05.254 [SPEAKER_00]: Chrissy shares really honestly about struggling with patients, feeling spiritually tired and what it looks like to stay connected to God in hard seasons when it does not come easily or naturally. 01:05.675 --> 01:08.137 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you've ever found yourself yelling at your kids to be gentle, 01:08.617 --> 01:13.003 [SPEAKER_00]: or reacting instead of responding, this conversation is going to encourage you so much. 01:20.902 --> 01:23.783 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, Kristi, welcome back to the Christian Parenting podcast. 01:23.963 --> 01:25.084 [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for having me on again. 01:25.324 --> 01:27.405 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it is so great to talk to you. 01:27.725 --> 01:35.709 [SPEAKER_00]: We've got to catch up a little bit before we start recording for people who don't know you or don't kind of follow along with your life, tell us about yourself. 01:35.929 --> 01:41.972 [SPEAKER_00]: So we can get to know you a little bit, tell us what you're doing, tell us about your latest project, your family, all the things that keep you really busy. 01:42.412 --> 01:43.412 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how much time you got. 01:43.432 --> 01:51.034 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm Chrissy Thomas, and I'm from Alberta, Canada, and I'm currently a homeschool mom of three boys. 01:51.174 --> 01:52.914 [SPEAKER_01]: They're 17, 14, and 12. 01:53.014 --> 01:55.115 [SPEAKER_01]: So we haven't always homeschooled. 01:55.135 --> 01:57.375 [SPEAKER_01]: We've also put our kids in public school and Christian school. 01:57.395 --> 01:59.856 [SPEAKER_01]: This is homeschooling, it's just what's working for us right now. 02:00.316 --> 02:09.758 [SPEAKER_01]: And I worked as a children's ministry director for a long time, and that led me into family ministry, and family discipleship, and realizing how important parents are 02:10.558 --> 02:17.565 [SPEAKER_01]: discipling our kids parents, actually have a huge role in their children's face and kind of deep-dived into that. 02:17.965 --> 02:25.212 [SPEAKER_01]: And so now I have written a bunch of books for Christian kids and for parents, I have found my discipleship book called Little Habit's Big Face. 02:25.852 --> 02:29.553 [SPEAKER_01]: And my most recent project is not really for parents at all, though. 02:29.573 --> 02:36.295 [SPEAKER_01]: It's very pertinent to parenting, and it's called every deep prayers for gentleness, embracing the quiet strength of tenderness. 02:36.375 --> 02:39.256 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's a devotional for, let's target it at women. 02:39.376 --> 02:41.057 [SPEAKER_01]: I had a friend tell me her husband was reading it. 02:41.077 --> 02:41.877 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like great. 02:43.550 --> 02:45.851 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's kind of the new venture right now. 02:46.071 --> 02:48.211 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, and we're going to talk about gentleness today. 02:48.452 --> 02:49.792 [SPEAKER_00]: Which I'm excited about. 02:49.872 --> 02:51.512 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like it'll be a really good conversation. 02:51.612 --> 02:57.194 [SPEAKER_00]: So I know this is not specifically aimed at parents, but there's so much related to parenting. 02:57.214 --> 03:00.075 [SPEAKER_00]: I think I feel like we talk about gentleness a lot in my house. 03:00.335 --> 03:03.476 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, when I'm praying, I'm always praying for more gentleness. 03:03.676 --> 03:05.596 [SPEAKER_00]: I try to muster out more gentleness a lot. 03:05.616 --> 03:07.577 [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't work that way, but I wish that it did. 03:07.757 --> 03:08.937 [SPEAKER_00]: So we're going to kind of unpack. 03:09.097 --> 03:15.002 [SPEAKER_00]: what gentleness is and how that relates to our faith and to how we live our lives and how we parent our kids. 03:15.103 --> 03:22.329 [SPEAKER_00]: But I guess we should, I want to start with like the big picture of that, like when you talk about gentleness, what do you actually mean by that? 03:22.349 --> 03:25.312 [SPEAKER_00]: Because I think people hear that and they think of like, 03:25.672 --> 03:32.039 [SPEAKER_00]: weakness or they think about gentle parenting or there's just kind of like there's a lot of things that we don't understand in the church and in parenting. 03:32.059 --> 03:34.441 [SPEAKER_00]: So what do you mean when you talk about gentle? 03:34.461 --> 03:46.713 [SPEAKER_01]: There's a really good question because 100% I think most of us, even though we know maybe at the back of our mind that's not what gentleness is, our immediate thought is gentle people are weak and they're pushovers or they're quiet and they're really submissive. 03:47.394 --> 03:48.534 [SPEAKER_01]: That is not gentleness. 03:48.594 --> 03:50.175 [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm going to give you an example. 03:50.335 --> 03:57.118 [SPEAKER_01]: When your baby was laid in your arms for the first time, did the nurses or the doctors say to the baby, are we gentle with your mother? 03:57.318 --> 04:02.400 [SPEAKER_01]: No, they did not because your baby does not have to be gentle with you, because your baby is weak and vulnerable. 04:02.520 --> 04:05.764 [SPEAKER_01]: Now what they might say to you is be really gentle with this baby. 04:05.924 --> 04:07.326 [SPEAKER_01]: This baby is fragile. 04:07.366 --> 04:08.608 [SPEAKER_01]: This baby is vulnerable. 04:08.648 --> 04:09.929 [SPEAKER_01]: You have to care for it. 04:10.370 --> 04:12.292 [SPEAKER_01]: You have to withhold your power. 04:12.332 --> 04:13.814 [SPEAKER_01]: You can't shake this baby. 04:13.854 --> 04:15.196 [SPEAKER_01]: You can't throw it up in the air. 04:15.216 --> 04:18.460 [SPEAKER_01]: Even though you're the power to do that, you can't do those things to a newborn baby. 04:18.960 --> 04:22.784 [SPEAKER_01]: You have to hold your power under control in gentleness. 04:22.944 --> 04:25.607 [SPEAKER_01]: And that is what gentleness actually is. 04:25.707 --> 04:28.289 [SPEAKER_01]: We think of, you could also think of someone like a gentle giant. 04:28.349 --> 04:35.076 [SPEAKER_01]: The more power somebody has, the more radical it is when they withhold it for the sake of other people. 04:35.176 --> 04:36.638 [SPEAKER_01]: They could smush you. 04:37.218 --> 04:49.009 [SPEAKER_01]: But they choose not to, they could smoosh you physically or maybe they could smoosh you with their words or they have power and control over you and they could smoosh you that way and they choose not to because they value you. 04:49.349 --> 04:53.493 [SPEAKER_01]: And that is what we see in the Bible with how God treats us. 04:53.673 --> 04:54.734 [SPEAKER_01]: He has so much power. 04:54.794 --> 04:58.317 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, he's the only one who could say, I brought you into this world and I could do it. 04:58.737 --> 05:03.922 [SPEAKER_01]: And he does know that he brings us into the world knowing that we're going to rebel and 05:04.322 --> 05:09.686 [SPEAKER_01]: and hurt each other and do all these terrible things and he still shows us gentleness. 05:09.726 --> 05:15.591 [SPEAKER_01]: He withholds his immense power for our sake, which is pretty mind-boggling if you think about it. 05:15.831 --> 05:20.474 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I feel like right now, it may be always, it's just that we live in right now. 05:20.514 --> 05:21.775 [SPEAKER_00]: This is the context that I have. 05:21.835 --> 05:28.640 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like this concept of gentleness and like holding back power when you have it feels like countercultural. 05:28.781 --> 05:31.723 [SPEAKER_00]: Like it's not what we tend to do. 05:32.278 --> 05:55.964 [SPEAKER_01]: You are very right, and I think that's part of the reason that our culture is in such a hot mess right now is because nobody wants to be gentle We all want to fight back, and I think we forgot who our enemy is and so I spent the later part of March in Uganda with the Ministry and there was also some people from voice in the martyrs there and voice in the martyrs is voice for that 06:02.625 --> 06:06.548 [SPEAKER_01]: and one of them said that we've forgotten who our true enemy is. 06:06.988 --> 06:21.937 [SPEAKER_01]: We've forgotten that our enemy is not each other, and that Christians are supposed to love each other and badly as the enemy in the spiritual realm, which is through prayer, and not, you know, keyboard warrior. 06:23.370 --> 06:25.731 [SPEAKER_01]: or, you know, getting mad at each other. 06:26.131 --> 06:31.235 [SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, there are legit things to be angry about, but we have to always remember who our true enemy is. 06:31.695 --> 06:37.339 [SPEAKER_01]: And when we forget that, then we end up in this kind of culture that we live in right now, and everybody's hating this culture. 06:37.359 --> 06:46.245 [SPEAKER_01]: I think I can, I don't have to recall anybody ever saying, why I really love this outrage culture that we live in, and all the hot takes in the polarized opinions, they're really doing me a lot of good. 06:46.265 --> 06:47.466 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 06:47.486 --> 06:49.627 [SPEAKER_01]: Now, sets are nervous systems on fire, 06:51.077 --> 06:55.159 [SPEAKER_01]: It makes us feel terrible and it alienates us from family and friends. 06:55.839 --> 07:00.641 [SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, it's not popular to be gentle, but that's the only way forward in my opinion. 07:00.841 --> 07:06.443 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I feel like when it comes to homes, and yeah, I mean, like even outside the home in general. 07:06.463 --> 07:10.785 [SPEAKER_00]: Like I feel like people feel like when they lead gently, they're not going to get respect. 07:11.045 --> 07:12.226 [SPEAKER_00]: people aren't going to listen. 07:12.286 --> 07:14.147 [SPEAKER_00]: And so then instead they do the opposite. 07:14.207 --> 07:31.821 [SPEAKER_00]: But like when it comes to parenting, like how do you separate gentleness from being passive or being a pushover in like are you talking about gentle parenting kind of like I mentioned earlier we can talk about that at the tiny bit before we started like because that's still a buzzword going around like are we separating the two? 07:32.121 --> 07:34.563 [SPEAKER_00]: How does this apply to being a parent? 07:34.943 --> 07:37.044 [SPEAKER_00]: And how do you lead well, Bentley? 07:37.204 --> 07:40.064 [SPEAKER_00]: I think it has a lot to do with our own heart. 07:40.725 --> 07:55.589 [SPEAKER_01]: And the way that we react to our children, the way that we react to our spouses and to each other, if we kind of are settled in our own hearts that we are loved and that we have a authority in our families as parents that has got given authority. 07:55.929 --> 07:59.710 [SPEAKER_01]: And that saying, no to our children is not going to damage them for life. 08:00.170 --> 08:03.952 [SPEAKER_01]: and then it allows us to live in this place of less reactivities. 08:04.273 --> 08:07.955 [SPEAKER_01]: Last year I did a session at a homeschool conference and it was called, uh, I did it again. 08:08.055 --> 08:09.796 [SPEAKER_01]: How to become a slow to anger parent. 08:10.376 --> 08:12.478 [SPEAKER_01]: And there were so many parents that walked in. 08:12.518 --> 08:13.018 [SPEAKER_01]: Or, could you not? 08:13.038 --> 08:14.439 [SPEAKER_01]: There were like 300 parents in that room. 08:14.459 --> 08:17.201 [SPEAKER_01]: And every parent who walked in would look and pick and pick in the door. 08:17.221 --> 08:23.765 [SPEAKER_01]: And you could see them go, oh, thank goodness, it's not just me, because it is a struggle to live as a non-reactive. 08:24.925 --> 08:25.766 [SPEAKER_01]: gentle parent. 08:26.186 --> 08:30.450 [SPEAKER_01]: And when I think of like parenting in the Christ like gentleness, that's what I'm thinking of. 08:30.490 --> 08:38.677 [SPEAKER_01]: It's a parenting out of my sense of identity and my trust in God and God's love for my child and God's plan for my child's future and my own future. 08:38.877 --> 08:44.882 [SPEAKER_01]: And not out of some misplaced sense of I have to always protect my child's emotions. 08:44.942 --> 08:45.423 [SPEAKER_01]: So I think. 08:46.083 --> 08:46.944 [SPEAKER_01]: gentle parenting. 08:47.644 --> 08:49.826 [SPEAKER_01]: Now I'm not like a therapist. 08:50.266 --> 08:54.249 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know all the ins and outs of gentle parenting but for one I've looked up. 08:54.809 --> 09:02.735 [SPEAKER_01]: It really is a lot of like empathizing with your child and understanding your child's needs, which is all great, but it doesn't go far enough. 09:02.795 --> 09:08.139 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think because God's gentleness toward us isn't just designed to empathize with us and to make us feel better. 09:08.159 --> 09:09.900 [SPEAKER_01]: He's not just like, oh, it's okay, Christy. 09:09.920 --> 09:10.981 [SPEAKER_01]: You're still growing. 09:15.774 --> 09:23.159 [SPEAKER_01]: see that this is why you are the way you are, but we can even move past that, like I love you in this, but I love you too much to let you stay in that. 09:23.659 --> 09:35.927 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's the difference between gentle parenting, kind of as a secular mode of parenting, which does leave lead to kind of passive parenting, or somebody else called it jellyfish parenting. 09:36.107 --> 09:43.272 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's the difference between that kind of gentle parenting, and what I am talking about, which we're going to rebrand as parenting in the gentleness of Christ. 09:44.072 --> 09:47.895 [SPEAKER_00]: I love that, because it is like, it's on my days and it's not even days. 09:47.955 --> 09:48.756 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like seasons. 09:48.776 --> 09:56.341 [SPEAKER_00]: Like those seasons where you're stretched so thin and you're so tired and you're like, if I could just control like one thing, then everything will be better. 09:56.522 --> 09:59.664 [SPEAKER_00]: So then naturally try to control everyone around you or at least it's just me. 10:00.465 --> 10:01.685 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, it's not just you. 10:02.166 --> 10:08.030 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, and it's just like the days that I'm exhausted and I'm trying to do everything in my own strength and muster up all the things. 10:08.050 --> 10:10.052 [SPEAKER_00]: That's like when I yell at my kids to be gentle. 10:12.193 --> 10:14.013 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure you're gentle with your sister. 10:14.213 --> 10:15.374 [SPEAKER_01]: Is your yelling, oh, I know. 10:15.494 --> 10:16.374 [SPEAKER_01]: I have done the same. 10:16.574 --> 10:17.874 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like, and it is. 10:17.954 --> 10:23.975 [SPEAKER_00]: It is just relying on our own strength in those moments instead of the Holy Spirit. 10:24.015 --> 10:29.256 [SPEAKER_00]: And I know that you've written so extensively about the fruit of the Spirit and what that actually is. 10:29.316 --> 10:30.996 [SPEAKER_00]: So give us a reminder of that, too. 10:31.256 --> 10:34.477 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, how do we get gentle if it's a fruit of the Spirit? 10:34.697 --> 10:35.717 [SPEAKER_01]: That's a good question. 10:35.777 --> 10:38.577 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, it's kind of this combination of active 10:41.978 --> 10:49.162 [SPEAKER_01]: So if you imagine like fruit and growing on a tree, you don't just say to the tree, okay, you're going to like grow more peaches this year. 10:49.282 --> 10:51.203 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's do what we're going to double our output. 10:51.224 --> 10:51.944 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's go ahead. 10:52.124 --> 10:54.966 [SPEAKER_01]: What you have to do is you have to like dig around the roots. 10:55.546 --> 10:57.507 [SPEAKER_01]: You have to make sure that it's got fertilizer. 10:57.587 --> 11:02.170 [SPEAKER_01]: If there's a huge tree shading it out, you got to cut that tree so that it can get adequate light. 11:02.190 --> 11:03.731 [SPEAKER_01]: You're going to make sure it's getting enough water. 11:04.251 --> 11:07.973 [SPEAKER_01]: If you're in a drought year, you have to kind of, there is some work you need to do, but also 11:10.995 --> 11:12.095 [SPEAKER_01]: grow more features. 11:12.115 --> 11:15.776 [SPEAKER_01]: There are some things that you can do and some things that you have to trust in. 11:15.936 --> 11:25.118 [SPEAKER_01]: And that is kind of this picture of what we see with the further the spirit is that it is God working in us and it's it comes out of this sense of abiding and Christ. 11:25.158 --> 11:31.780 [SPEAKER_01]: And so when we're abiding in Christ in those kind of off moments when we're not, you know, our nervous systems are not on high alert. 11:31.940 --> 11:32.120 [SPEAKER_01]: We're 11:32.520 --> 11:40.686 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, in the car and where we're shipping, or we're praying, or whatever it is, and we're drawing closer to God, those are those moments when he's treating us kind of like that peach tree. 11:40.726 --> 11:44.249 [SPEAKER_01]: He's giving us like the water, you know, the living water, and the light. 11:44.269 --> 11:46.370 [SPEAKER_01]: He's the light of the world, and he's the bread of life. 11:46.410 --> 11:47.271 [SPEAKER_01]: He is all those things. 11:47.291 --> 11:59.680 [SPEAKER_01]: He's our endorsement, and our water, and our light, and when we're spending time with him, and he's kind of creating that like resource, so that when we get to those moments, those trigger moments, we're less likely to snap. 11:59.800 --> 12:03.281 [SPEAKER_01]: And then also in those trigger moments, we can also say, oh, God help me right now. 12:03.461 --> 12:08.822 [SPEAKER_01]: So we kind of have that built that reserve by abiding and Christ in those off moments. 12:09.182 --> 12:12.403 [SPEAKER_01]: And then in those moments when we're like, oh, God, help me save me right now. 12:12.943 --> 12:17.224 [SPEAKER_01]: From yelling at my kids, then it's kind of this like, two things going on at the same time. 12:17.244 --> 12:17.864 [SPEAKER_01]: Does that make sense? 12:18.324 --> 12:19.365 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, no, it does. 12:19.445 --> 12:27.026 [SPEAKER_00]: And then just as you talk, I'm kind of from a discipleship perspective, like if we're constantly, because I know that you and I both believe 12:29.287 --> 12:36.370 [SPEAKER_00]: through our words and our actions and just the way we live our lives and the way we speak with them and always continually have an opportunity to point them to Jesus. 12:36.390 --> 12:53.299 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm just like, how, what do you think our kids are learning about Jesus and about his character and about the fruit of the Spirit, not gentleness when they watch how we handle frustration or conflict or criticism or how we handle mistakes because we again, we'll still blow up at our kids sometimes 12:54.279 --> 12:56.180 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, 100% they're learning what the gospel looks like. 12:56.240 --> 13:02.525 [SPEAKER_01]: So if we are always blowing up and yelling at our kids and then we're turning around and saying, like, Jesus loves you. 13:02.545 --> 13:16.794 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if I'm going to believe that, like, I know that we are not Jesus and that we need to point to him, but but when we're constantly misrepresenting him, I think not choosing not to grow, then we're misrepresenting the gospel. 13:16.814 --> 13:19.176 [SPEAKER_01]: Because gentleness is actually at the very heart of the gospel. 13:19.736 --> 13:25.059 [SPEAKER_01]: As a member says, a gentle answer turns away wrath, and Jesus is the fulfillment of that proverb. 13:25.079 --> 13:29.302 [SPEAKER_01]: He is the gentle answer that God provided himself to turn away his own wrath. 13:29.502 --> 13:38.507 [SPEAKER_01]: And so if we are not gentle or at least learning how to be gentle or growing in gentleness, we're missing that heart of the gospel. 13:38.848 --> 13:42.650 [SPEAKER_01]: And so it's kind of hard to point our kids to something that we don't really seem to believe ourselves. 13:42.930 --> 13:58.840 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I like that that where she says choosing not to grow and I think it's so hard because as parents we get so busy like spiritual disciplines take time and they take practice and it has to become a habit but it is really easy to put it on the back burner. 13:59.200 --> 14:16.602 [SPEAKER_00]: So like what was your encouragement be for someone who's like I'm a little bit stuck right now and I I want to choose to grow in my relationship with Christ and I want to choose to you know like live through this for the spirit of like how how do I do that like where do I start I'm just tired well I've been in places like that many times. 14:17.002 --> 14:20.104 [SPEAKER_01]: And for sure, even over the last month, I've kind of was in that place again. 14:20.144 --> 14:22.305 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I don't really want all my Bible. 14:22.365 --> 14:22.685 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you. 14:22.765 --> 14:25.707 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm wanting a book about like a devotional book. 14:25.747 --> 14:27.227 [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't even want to open my own Bible. 14:27.247 --> 14:29.369 [SPEAKER_01]: So I've been listening to a lot of worship music. 14:30.269 --> 14:36.092 [SPEAKER_01]: And just I have a couple of playlists that I turn on when I'm in the kitchen or when I'm in the car. 14:36.272 --> 14:36.952 [SPEAKER_01]: And it has... 14:38.113 --> 14:43.236 [SPEAKER_01]: profoundly impacted the way that I'm connecting with God because a worship music becomes a prayer. 14:43.617 --> 14:46.298 [SPEAKER_01]: Prayer is like just an amazing way to connect with God. 14:46.699 --> 14:48.880 [SPEAKER_01]: Good worship music will also connect to a scripture. 14:48.900 --> 14:54.644 [SPEAKER_01]: Hopefully it reminds you of some scriptures or maybe some of the lyrics are taking right from scripture. 14:55.324 --> 14:57.766 [SPEAKER_01]: For me that's what's really helping me right now. 14:57.826 --> 14:59.607 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not always in turn on the music person. 14:59.627 --> 15:02.729 [SPEAKER_01]: I often like to listen to an audio book or podcast instead but right 15:07.032 --> 15:11.238 [SPEAKER_01]: So maybe that's not the thing for you, but find something, something that you can. 15:11.538 --> 15:18.107 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you're just gonna leave your Bible open to the Psalms in the kitchen, and you're just gonna like look at it while you're making supper. 15:18.247 --> 15:22.713 [SPEAKER_01]: And you're gonna just meditate on the same Psalm from months or a different Psalm every day. 15:22.733 --> 15:23.735 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, I don't care what it is. 15:24.275 --> 15:35.281 [SPEAKER_01]: just something really little or turning on is of a podcast in the car, which I'm sorry I know we're on a podcast right now, turning on a podcast in the car, just turn on the audio Bible. 15:35.461 --> 15:39.624 [SPEAKER_01]: There have been seasons of my life when I just listened to so much audio Bible. 15:39.644 --> 15:43.766 [SPEAKER_01]: I couldn't open my Bible physically because I hope fall asleep if I tried to read something. 15:43.826 --> 15:44.787 [SPEAKER_01]: You know my kids were little. 15:45.427 --> 15:49.349 [SPEAKER_01]: So instead every time I would do the laundry or find myself alone, I just 15:54.272 --> 16:02.655 [SPEAKER_01]: So, for me, obviously, that auditory is a really big deal for you, maybe it might be just finding a moment to pray the breath priors. 16:03.275 --> 16:05.115 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, God, I need you in this moment. 16:05.335 --> 16:06.536 [SPEAKER_01]: And all these moments, right? 16:06.556 --> 16:08.316 [SPEAKER_01]: Just taking five minutes in the bathroom. 16:08.676 --> 16:13.478 [SPEAKER_01]: Hopefully you can spend, perhaps you can spend a couple minutes just in the bathroom by yourself. 16:13.558 --> 16:14.818 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you're not even going to the toilet. 16:14.978 --> 16:18.639 [SPEAKER_01]: I've got a bath in my washermup stairs. 16:18.659 --> 16:19.920 [SPEAKER_01]: That's got these stairs to it. 16:19.940 --> 16:21.100 [SPEAKER_01]: It's just a really weird. 16:21.540 --> 16:49.505 [SPEAKER_01]: bath tub and sometimes I just sit on the stairs by myself and just for the quiet or think or journal or yeah just for the quiet because I just need that moment so it's not selfish has a mom or is it parent we can often feel like it's selfish of me to try to get away for a few minutes and I know it's not always realistic but even just for a couple minutes when your kids are sleeping or cooked up somewhere or whatever it is just go hide for a minute and 16:51.365 --> 17:13.560 [SPEAKER_00]: I really appreciate your honesty there because I think it's very easy for people to listen to these podcasts and be like, oh, well, it's easy for staff or it's easy for Chris here whoever is on like it's easy for these guests because this is what they do like they have the time and you know, like there there's always in God's word and I just appreciate your vulnerability that like this has been a hard month for you where you're like, man, I don't want to. 17:13.880 --> 17:24.223 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, because that's what faith is, is it's ups and downs, and it's not easy, like it never is easy, but I think a lot of people will get intimidated because they feel like it's easier for other people. 17:24.423 --> 17:30.125 [SPEAKER_01]: Right, we're always judging ourselves or thinking that they're judging us really, but they're making the same struggles. 17:30.405 --> 17:37.027 [SPEAKER_01]: Like if it just remember all those people coming into that room and picking in the door and going, oh, it's not just me yelling at my kids. 17:37.796 --> 17:39.757 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no, it's none of it. 17:39.817 --> 17:45.439 [SPEAKER_00]: And everybody needs, everybody needs different resources when I had really bad post-parenting anxiety with all of my kids, really. 17:45.459 --> 17:49.581 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't realize that's what it was with my oldest, but I did tap it with all three of them. 17:49.981 --> 17:53.623 [SPEAKER_00]: I did a lot of the just reciting the Lord's Prayer, because I didn't have a lot of words. 17:53.823 --> 18:01.786 [SPEAKER_00]: I was just so tired that, and I was so overwhelmed and just mentally not in a good place, that I just was like, I'm the Lord's Prayer, and other people were praying for me. 18:01.846 --> 18:05.788 [SPEAKER_00]: I asked a lot of people like, we pray for me, because I don't really, not really do not that well right now. 18:05.988 --> 18:07.569 [SPEAKER_00]: And it was just that was so good for me. 18:07.589 --> 18:10.972 [SPEAKER_00]: It was just reciting that kind of listening, what mostly speaking. 18:11.052 --> 18:11.393 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. 18:11.713 --> 18:25.945 [SPEAKER_00]: So there are a lot of ways that you can find little connections to the Lord, because if you want to be growing in him and growing in the fruit of the spirit and like responding to your kids that are reacting, so that you can grow in gentleness, like you have to be connected to the Lord. 18:25.965 --> 18:28.207 [SPEAKER_00]: But it is really hard as a parent sometime. 18:28.897 --> 18:32.878 [SPEAKER_01]: And something you're not allowed to remember that the Lord is gentle with us, right? 18:32.918 --> 18:38.040 [SPEAKER_01]: That is, I feel like that's what has been happening in my life this month. 18:38.060 --> 18:39.781 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, God is so gentle with me. 18:40.001 --> 18:43.662 [SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, he doesn't want me to stay in this place of like avoiding. 18:43.682 --> 18:45.423 [SPEAKER_01]: He's like, whatever. 18:45.903 --> 18:47.924 [SPEAKER_01]: But he is very gentle with me. 18:48.244 --> 18:49.585 [SPEAKER_01]: And he's trying me back. 18:49.965 --> 18:50.485 [SPEAKER_01]: And like, 18:50.705 --> 18:51.525 [SPEAKER_01]: Come on, Christy. 18:51.965 --> 18:52.526 [SPEAKER_01]: I got you. 18:52.626 --> 18:53.666 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not letting you go. 18:53.686 --> 18:55.007 [SPEAKER_01]: This is just a season. 18:55.207 --> 18:58.508 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think sometimes just that's the reminder that we need. 18:58.608 --> 19:00.288 [SPEAKER_01]: God is gentle with you. 19:00.308 --> 19:01.309 [SPEAKER_01]: He's not her. 19:01.409 --> 19:02.569 [SPEAKER_01]: She's not angry. 19:02.589 --> 19:06.350 [SPEAKER_01]: He's not like, oh my goodness, that girl can't spend 30 minutes with me. 19:06.430 --> 19:07.131 [SPEAKER_01]: Come on. 19:08.331 --> 19:10.733 [SPEAKER_01]: It's just like while you're praying a Lord's prayer over and over again. 19:10.873 --> 19:12.534 [SPEAKER_00]: I am listening, I am here for this. 19:12.854 --> 19:25.743 [SPEAKER_00]: One of the things that I like caught is that you said like truly gentle Christians are often ones who are like quietly changing the world and I think that's so powerful and I think that like even that applies to even insider homes. 19:25.763 --> 19:29.766 [SPEAKER_00]: Like it doesn't have to be this big thing like gentleness just doesn't have to be like 19:29.978 --> 19:30.278 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know. 19:30.519 --> 19:38.569 [SPEAKER_00]: But like what changes in your home when gentleness is so much a part of it and so much of your culture of your family, that it just like adapts things. 19:38.589 --> 19:40.792 [SPEAKER_00]: Like what how what changes when you lean into that? 19:40.973 --> 19:43.055 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, for one thing is a lot less yelling and screaming. 19:43.680 --> 19:44.660 [SPEAKER_00]: Which is always a good thing. 19:45.001 --> 19:46.721 [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly, a lot less arguing. 19:46.741 --> 19:48.562 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, there's still going to be arguments. 19:48.602 --> 19:49.783 [SPEAKER_01]: Our people are still people, right? 19:49.863 --> 19:56.466 [SPEAKER_01]: But I think it really changes the way that we respond to our kids in the way that they feel safe with us. 19:57.346 --> 20:08.632 [SPEAKER_01]: If they know that we're probably not going to lose our minds when something happens, then obviously, you're going to feel safer with somebody who's consistent in that and not going to fly off the handle at you a few years ago. 20:09.312 --> 20:12.215 [SPEAKER_01]: My oldest son told me, mom, I really see you growing in patients. 20:12.495 --> 20:14.897 [SPEAKER_01]: First, I was like, folks, like, obviously. 20:14.917 --> 20:16.059 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a great compliment. 20:16.359 --> 20:18.381 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, no, it takes a minute to accept it. 20:18.401 --> 20:18.721 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure. 20:18.741 --> 20:22.425 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, no, it's like, well, that means you remember me being very impatient. 20:22.765 --> 20:24.647 [SPEAKER_01]: And patients in general, those are very length. 20:24.707 --> 20:28.931 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, all the fruits in this period are very length, but I think patients, gentleness, and self-control. 20:29.391 --> 20:38.219 [SPEAKER_01]: Have kind of the most in common because you really can't be gentle unless you have again that kind of deeper as a word patience inside you And so as what worked patience inside me. 20:38.619 --> 20:41.041 [SPEAKER_01]: He also allowed me to grow in gentleness. 20:41.141 --> 20:47.406 [SPEAKER_01]: Patience is kind of like what's inside you and gentleness is how you treat people as I'm so that's a good way to put it. 20:47.426 --> 20:48.827 [SPEAKER_00]: I just thought of that. 20:49.148 --> 20:57.875 [SPEAKER_00]: Just came out of my mouth It's a really good way to put it though because I think like I do sometimes think like which which one of my struggling with right now because 20:59.195 --> 21:00.615 [SPEAKER_00]: These are two that I struggle with a lot. 21:00.695 --> 21:06.017 [SPEAKER_00]: I never did before I had kids and then I did and all of a sudden who knew I'm not actually that patient or gentle. 21:06.517 --> 21:06.797 [SPEAKER_01]: What? 21:06.877 --> 21:07.657 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. 21:07.677 --> 21:08.918 [SPEAKER_01]: President of the fan club over here. 21:08.938 --> 21:09.138 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 21:09.298 --> 21:10.658 [SPEAKER_01]: But it's like which one is it? 21:10.738 --> 21:12.819 [SPEAKER_01]: Am I not being patient or am I not being gentle? 21:13.099 --> 21:16.140 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's a good way to look at it because they are so linked. 21:16.420 --> 21:21.741 [SPEAKER_00]: And I guess it doesn't really matter because they're both something that we get from the Holy Spirit and we can be working on. 21:22.061 --> 21:23.862 [SPEAKER_00]: But I like that differentiation for sure. 21:24.042 --> 21:24.222 [SPEAKER_01]: good. 21:24.242 --> 21:24.923 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm glad it was helpful. 21:25.463 --> 21:27.425 [SPEAKER_01]: Now I'll be thinking about for a while too, actually. 21:28.025 --> 21:33.109 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, well, as people are thinking like, oh man, like, I want this like deep well. 21:33.149 --> 21:45.859 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I want I want to grow closer to the Lord so that I can, you know, like be relying on him to have more gentleness and respond to my kids with grace and build a culture of gentleness and patience and just 21:47.660 --> 21:49.721 [SPEAKER_00]: Where can people find your book? 21:49.941 --> 21:50.741 [SPEAKER_00]: How can it help them? 21:50.761 --> 21:51.782 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, how is it laid out? 21:52.022 --> 21:53.462 [SPEAKER_00]: And then, like, where can we find it? 21:53.502 --> 21:54.783 [SPEAKER_00]: And on the rest of your resources, too? 21:54.823 --> 21:55.163 [SPEAKER_01]: For sure. 21:55.203 --> 22:01.205 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I hope that you grab a copy of Everyday Purse for Gentleness and know that it's not going to teach you how to be a weak submissive person. 22:03.046 --> 22:03.886 [SPEAKER_01]: The book is laid out. 22:03.946 --> 22:10.849 [SPEAKER_01]: The very first section is all about God's gentleness toward us because we cannot be gentle unless we know who our good gentle God is. 22:11.049 --> 22:16.491 [SPEAKER_01]: And so it shows us how strong God is and how much he withholds that strength for our 22:17.492 --> 22:26.196 [SPEAKER_01]: And then it goes into Jesus gentleness in the way that he treated people because I think if we're going to grow in the fruit of Jesus, we need to know Jesus himself. 22:26.456 --> 22:29.697 [SPEAKER_01]: So we look at how Jesus treated the people around him with gentleness. 22:29.897 --> 22:36.080 [SPEAKER_01]: Even, yes, we talk about the whip in the temple moment and how even that, I believe, is a sign of his gentleness. 22:36.320 --> 22:38.101 [SPEAKER_01]: And so you'll have to get the book to figure out what 22:40.784 --> 22:52.762 [SPEAKER_01]: And then some of the kind of more practical aspects, like, what do we do when there's an enemy or someone dressed to scam you or you're just super angry about stuff or there's like just as issues that you need to take on. 22:53.403 --> 22:55.524 [SPEAKER_01]: How do you live those things in gentleness? 22:55.684 --> 23:04.888 [SPEAKER_01]: And in each one, there's a devotion, and then there's, if you have time, a highly recommend taking the time to read through the extra pad Bible passages that I've been reading. 23:04.908 --> 23:07.849 [SPEAKER_01]: So it's not just like a Bible verse on a devotion and move on with your day. 23:08.309 --> 23:10.790 [SPEAKER_01]: It's going to take you deeper into the Bible if you allow it. 23:10.930 --> 23:13.951 [SPEAKER_01]: And then there's a spot for prayer, so you can write it right in the book. 23:14.071 --> 23:16.032 [SPEAKER_01]: So I'll get the physical copy if you can. 23:16.372 --> 23:19.434 [SPEAKER_01]: And then there's some journaling questions as well for each one. 23:19.674 --> 23:26.698 [SPEAKER_01]: And I kid you not, I went through my own book again a couple of months ago and was like, wow, these journaling questions. 23:26.758 --> 23:36.424 [SPEAKER_01]: I really needed these right now because I had written it two years ago and then this came out this year and I thought, I really need to like go through this and kind of relearn it for myself again. 23:36.764 --> 23:43.748 [SPEAKER_01]: And I have a lot of highlights and a lot of stuff that I wrote down because God was working gentleness in me all over again. 23:44.341 --> 23:52.769 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, well, I feel like it's a constant constant thing because every season looks different and parenting in life and so you need different reminders in a different ways all the time. 23:53.089 --> 23:53.450 [SPEAKER_01]: For sure. 23:53.630 --> 24:00.096 [SPEAKER_00]: Can you tell us where we can connect with you because you have so many resources and then where we can get a copy of your book, too. 24:01.057 --> 24:07.844 [SPEAKER_01]: So, I did kind of base place to go, which is be my website, which is littleshootsdeeproot.com. 24:07.864 --> 24:09.106 [SPEAKER_01]: And you can find all my books there. 24:09.226 --> 24:15.452 [SPEAKER_01]: If you go to littleshootsdeeproot.com slash gentleness, you'll find more stuff to do with the gentleness. 24:15.492 --> 24:18.736 [SPEAKER_01]: So, there's links to online places that you could order the book. 24:18.756 --> 24:22.059 [SPEAKER_01]: You could ask your, if you have a local Christian bookstore, ask them to bring it in. 24:22.960 --> 24:26.965 [SPEAKER_01]: You could get it in at your library, although that might be a little bit tricky with the writing part. 24:27.145 --> 24:32.631 [SPEAKER_01]: And then also on that little shoot steeproots.com slash gentleman's page, I've got a whole bunch of extra resources. 24:33.052 --> 24:37.957 [SPEAKER_01]: So that session that I said I did at the homeschool conference about being a slow to anger parent, that's available. 24:38.758 --> 24:59.878 [SPEAKER_01]: amazing resources for the book and there's a poster there's some my other publisher from my for-to-spirit family devotional allowed me to pull five devotions from the gentleness section and so that's available as well so if you want to talk about gentleness with your kids you could grab that from that page as well so there's a whole bunch of stuff on there you can download. 25:00.418 --> 25:04.120 [SPEAKER_00]: And also, it's the same little shoots, deep roots. 25:04.300 --> 25:06.101 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll link all of that in Shonops. 25:06.121 --> 25:07.942 [SPEAKER_00]: People can very easily find it. 25:08.342 --> 25:08.803 [SPEAKER_00]: It's working. 25:09.043 --> 25:11.764 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, well, thank you so much for joining me again. 25:11.824 --> 25:13.105 [SPEAKER_00]: I always love having you on. 25:13.125 --> 25:15.606 [SPEAKER_00]: Actually, I just have such good conversation. 25:15.666 --> 25:17.087 [SPEAKER_00]: So thank you for sharing with us. 25:17.427 --> 25:18.348 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, thank you for having me. 25:23.090 --> 25:27.115 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Christian Parenting Podcast. 25:27.195 --> 25:30.839 [SPEAKER_00]: I hope that this conversation reminded you that gentleness is not weakness. 25:31.360 --> 25:41.091 [SPEAKER_00]: It is a strength of Christ at work in us, and if you're in a season where you feel stretched thin, reactive, or spiritually tired, you are not alone, and God is gentle with you, too. 25:41.983 --> 25:50.369 [SPEAKER_00]: If this episode encouraged you, would you take just a second to subscribe, leave a review, or share it with a friend who may need this reminder today, it really helps us to reach more parents. 25:50.849 --> 25:57.394 [SPEAKER_00]: And make sure that you connect with Chrissy Thomas and grab a copy of everyday prayers for gentleness, all linked everything for you in the shout-out. 25:57.994 --> 25:59.115 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you again for listening. 25:59.135 --> 26:00.436 [SPEAKER_00]: It may God bless you this week. 26:00.856 --> 26:04.679 [SPEAKER_00]: May you be reminded today that the Holy Spirit is growing good fruit in you. 26:05.019 --> 26:10.643 [SPEAKER_00]: Even if it feels slow, may your home be marked with patience and peace in the gentle strength of Jesus.