[SPEAKER_01]: Tom goes Jax, Jax goes we already had this conversation.
[SPEAKER_02]: What do you want now?
[SPEAKER_02]: Tom goes, no I'm just wondering like you never like feel anything.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like nuts.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then he pauses.
[SPEAKER_01]: He goes, you ever feel this?
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't you forget it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't worry about it with a mustache.
[SPEAKER_02]: I take such comments very seriously.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't be a harnessed man!
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not sure what I've done to you, but I'll take a big upgrade to you.
[SPEAKER_02]: The only thing I have pulled me back is that I have self respect and take the knee.
[SPEAKER_01]: What's up you guys and welcome back to the pump cast.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm Maddie Drossback and I'm Meg Ruoco and we have fucking merch baby Yeah, we do right now.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're sporting the I love my stupid chunk of boyfriend and girlfriend have yes We have a couple other goodies for you guys to sport show your love of the show Yep, so the shop is linked in the description of this episode and you should absolutely go check it out.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah
[SPEAKER_01]: let the world know that you are a pumper and you are proud.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you love your stupid chunkest boyfriend's girlfriend.
[SPEAKER_01]: Come on!
[SPEAKER_01]: Everybody with a stupid chunkest boyfriend or girlfriend, you better get yourself the fucking hat.
[SPEAKER_02]: Where at stand-off business?
[SPEAKER_02]: If you have a stupid chunkest boyfriend or girlfriend, stand-off business, say it loud, say it perfectly.
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you don't have a stupid chunkest boyfriend or girlfriend, you should still get one to make fun of the people who do have stupid chunkest boyfriend's and girlfriends.
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely!
[SPEAKER_01]: Never forget it!
[SPEAKER_01]: Here we are we've made it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow finale of season two.
[SPEAKER_01]: I I can't believe we're here I can't believe it either.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's crazy and you know what?
[SPEAKER_01]: Really I feel like I'm first together since I'm sorry now I have a secret that I've been keeping from you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Why do you keep doing this to me?
[SPEAKER_02]: Why do you keep, why do you keep, why do you keep, why do you keep information for me?
[SPEAKER_01]: I love surprises more specifically, like I think I love surprising other people.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I've been, I did something.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have a gift for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, to celebrate the end of season two.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, I'm so excited to show you.
[SPEAKER_02]: I have to imagine it's a cameo.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not it's not it's a it's a physical gift whoa that's hiding right behind me right now I'm trying to flush a boo boy get this I was scrolling on Instagram one day as one does yeah and I came across a very talented artist online a ceramicist that was making mugs and I saw that she made problem mugs so I had her make us matching mugs of the
[SPEAKER_01]: You are you are the perfect hand-painted hand-painted mugs of the Stossie Kristen Slap.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, matching, but not the same because I thought it was better to have from both angles.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, so you have the slap itself and then the immediate reaction you're disgusting.
[SPEAKER_02]: Aren't they incredible?
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, my God.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, Lily, Meg, I've been giddy over this for the last month.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm going to be able to tell you about this.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the other day when the merch arrived, the box that was on top was these.
[SPEAKER_01]: What's the?
[SPEAKER_01]: And I almost, in my head, I was like, God, I really want to tell Meg, like, I just wanted to tell you and be like, okay, we could like show it on the show, but I could tell you now.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, don't do it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Show her on the show.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm in awe.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm in absolute awe of these.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh my God.
[SPEAKER_02]: Can we put this on this name up on the screen?
[SPEAKER_01]: It's at clay.obj, literally so talented.
[SPEAKER_01]: But they came up on my Instagram Explore page because I had seen them make other bravo mugs.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I DMed them.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I don't know if you do commissions, but I need vendor pop mugs.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is incredible, and it's also like,
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so good.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're so silly.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're so good.
[SPEAKER_02]: She even did like double like kind of like face as Kristen gets slapped to indicate motion.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's incredible.
[SPEAKER_02]: I love them.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh my gosh.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I'm I can't wait to have coffee in one of these marks.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_02]: I want any and all and either in all of them.
[SPEAKER_01]: You imagine us just like Jesus to the pompous to the pompous shout out clay dot obj shout out to you.
[SPEAKER_01]: You are a real one.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're an artist truly.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, these aren't kind of bull
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you so much.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is an amazing surprise.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, come on.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is one of the best surprises I've ever received in my entire life.
[SPEAKER_02]: Just a little something.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is so... And like the facial expression on Stasi is... And then like Kristen afterwards, she's like perfectly captured.
[SPEAKER_02]: Their face is...
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so...
[SPEAKER_02]: So good!
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh my god, all right, well, I'm gonna have to really, I'm gonna really have to get you good for our season 3 finale.
[SPEAKER_02]: look at it being we just like by the time we end the show our houses are just like filled with various parapot art exactly it's all beautiful but it's all related to Vanderbilt was what else is possibly out there right i get you a giant framed photo from the first the sir photo shoot just James Kennedy no i'm gonna get you a cardboard cutout of jack's tailor for the corner of your bedroom terrifying can you imagine i put it
[SPEAKER_02]: Intruder.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, it's like the the one direction cardboard cutouts you collect every single one you have the entire faculty of search is like in your living room And you've seen my living room.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not that bright.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, it's like it's like a party every day.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like a party every day
[SPEAKER_02]: All the friends are here.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, the gangs all year.
[SPEAKER_01]: I got everyone games jacks and the rest who else do you need And everyone all those other guys.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know I don't know who those guys are but I hear bad things
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, thank you so much.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm absolutely honored and I'm just so excited to continue this this wonderful journey that we've been on the next four and a half years.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, literally guys Look at how much fun we've had in six months.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't believe it.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're gonna have so much fun I'm in a fabulous moment of five years because now we're really getting into it like once season three starts There's no turning back on one episode to season
[SPEAKER_01]: That Lisa Guillermo, the whole team at Sir should actually be really fucking interested in what's happening over here.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think, listen, if you guys would allow us to host a pilgrimage to Sir, can you imagine we feel Sir with pumpers?
[SPEAKER_01]: I think we could sell it out.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't do!
[UNKNOWN]: I don't want to do it!
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to do it!
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to do it!
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think we could.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it could be awesome.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Tell me what you think about.
[SPEAKER_02]: Listen, if you're interested, Lisa, Guillermo, please let us know.
[SPEAKER_02]: I actually don't know if you're still business partners, but please let us know.
[SPEAKER_02]: Please let us know.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, all right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I had just a little topic to bring to you today, which was that I saw, as recently as today, when our most recent video came out, that someone posted that because of us, they have broken up with their trungist boyfriend.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I did see that.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just want to say, hats off to you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank fucking God.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's awesome.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's so awesome.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can still buy the hat, though.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can buy that hat.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love, I love my formerly, I formerly love.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you can stitch in, or you can like, you can just like, I used to.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you used to, you can stitch in, used to above love.
[SPEAKER_02]: Ah, I used to love my stupid youngest boy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think that's probably the easiest way.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, a little DIY.
[SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_01]: Get a little patch that says, like, hate, and then X.
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's, I hate my stupid youngest boy.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think this could be a fun craft for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: You've got some more time on your hand.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're single now.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, the lead.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we only post one episode a week.
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_02]: Just zoomably.
[SPEAKER_02]: You've got time.
[SPEAKER_02]: What are we gonna do on all those other days?
[SPEAKER_01]: On every day that is a Tuesday.
[SPEAKER_02]: I saw that my sister had already congratulated that random person.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm pretty sure that they thought it was you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Thought it was me.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, you know what, that's fine.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's, you know what, close enough.
[SPEAKER_01]: She basically is.
[SPEAKER_01]: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm gonna literally put them all in a year, but yeah, just for me.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, just for us.
[SPEAKER_02]: We won't do anything weird with it Just let us have it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Just let us have it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let us do our thing send me a picture of your stupid chunk of boyfriend or girlfriend We don't just for me.
[SPEAKER_02]: I just am assuming there's more chunk of boyfriends or partner.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah
[SPEAKER_01]: Men are stupider than women, so I assume that there's more of them.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, by default.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, hey, we got room for Chunkers girlfriend's too.
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, happy pride Be pride What here.
[SPEAKER_01]: We are gay rights gay rights.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, this is the pump cast contribution to pride And we'll be gayer this month as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, totally.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, we'll lean more Lesbian than straight
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, completely.
[SPEAKER_01]: On the bisexual spectrum.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're ignoring the straight half.
[SPEAKER_01]: Not this month.
[SPEAKER_01]: Not this month, bitch.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm having only gay thoughts.
[SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_01]: And trust me, I am.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, trust me.
[SPEAKER_01]: I am.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have been.
[SPEAKER_01]: I will continue to.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Every time I see Stasi Schroeder, I have a gay thought.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, so true.
[SPEAKER_01]: Is she your like top, top woman on Vanderpop?
[SPEAKER_02]: that you are like attracted to, yeah, yeah, you're in the blondes.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't think I ever knew this about you.
[SPEAKER_01]: I do like a blonde.
[SPEAKER_02]: A blonde is your type.
[SPEAKER_02]: Mm.
[SPEAKER_02]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_01]: I wouldn't say it's not my type.
[SPEAKER_01]: I do love blond tea.
[SPEAKER_01]: Interest.
[SPEAKER_02]: So women, well, right, blonde men are evil.
[SPEAKER_02]: Blonde men are scary.
[SPEAKER_02]: Blonde men are terrified.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: But women, I do, I appreciate a blonde.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is good to know.
[SPEAKER_02]: I of course will be obsessed with Katie forever.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: I get, she's my everything.
[SPEAKER_01]: one day we'll be together one day tiktok tiktok it's just it's it's around the corner just a matter of time yeah two good picks though I think yeah for for top Vanderpump with it no for sure for a minute I was like debating whether I wanted to say la la oh damn cuz sometimes I do feel that way about
[SPEAKER_02]: That's so interesting because sometimes I feel that way about Lala in the earlier seasons.
[SPEAKER_01]: Interesting.
[SPEAKER_01]: You think that's because she gets blonder as the seasons go on.
[SPEAKER_01]: You think?
[SPEAKER_01]: And she's more pregnant in the beginning.
[SPEAKER_01]: I truly think that my only in my head it was because she has crazy hair styles in the beginning.
[SPEAKER_01]: She does like crazy things that are just like bizarre.
[SPEAKER_01]: She comes into her style more.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's true.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going on.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think that's more.
[SPEAKER_01]: What I was coming also, I just think like Lala is very sexy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Lala is very sexy.
[SPEAKER_02]: And she has like this, she accomplishes both being hot and being sexy, which is a hard thing to do.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think I would be nervous around both Stasi and Lala for similar reasons.
[SPEAKER_01]: I see gay reasons.
[SPEAKER_02]: Gay reasons.
[SPEAKER_02]: To be clear, gay reasons.
[SPEAKER_01]: are top two women, start off this episode.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Katie and Stasi, pulling up to the shapehouse.
[SPEAKER_01]: Shapehouse, whatever the hell this is.
[SPEAKER_02]: This simply is a product of like all of the new, new wave, like this is how you lose weight.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, it's like if she can't, I can't fathom that there's any merit to this.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so funny because Stasi and Katie show up to the shapehouse, which is a place where Stasi says, you just sweat and then you're magically skinny.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's not a sauna.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not a sauna.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like a hot suit.
[SPEAKER_02]: They basically like, yeah, they basically put you in like an aluminum foil jumpsuit and then put like a bunch of heated blankets on top of you and you just sweat there for like 15 minutes.
[SPEAKER_02]: It sounds horrible.
[SPEAKER_02]: It sounds awful and I have to imagine it does nothing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I feel nauseous just thinking about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's just like, that's actually our hell.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're paying for nausea.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's it.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're paying for nausea under the guys that it makes you skinny.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you're paying to basically just have all of the like the water weights sucked out of you.
[SPEAKER_02]: I can't.
[SPEAKER_01]: And when I was younger and Godspeed, God bless my mother.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love you and Michelle.
[SPEAKER_01]: This was crazy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Love you.
[SPEAKER_01]: When I was younger, my mom absolutely loved the phrase, um, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
[SPEAKER_02]: Totally girl.
[SPEAKER_02]: Skinny seems to feel horrible.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thanks.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I can think of a lot of things that taste way better.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: That taste really fucking good.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you guys even had food before?
[SPEAKER_01]: A lot of things taste better than skinny fields.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Particularly when skinny is overheating in a fucking aluminum suit that you have to pay for.
[SPEAKER_01]: This was a torture device that you opted into.
[SPEAKER_01]: It seems really bad.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is crazy.
[SPEAKER_02]: It seems really bad, but they're excited because they're going to be skinny for their photo shoot tomorrow.
[SPEAKER_02]: The big sur photo shoot, so tiny and as they are at shapehouse sweating out all their toxins.
[SPEAKER_02]: Stasi mentions that what she also hopes to sweat out is her Christian toxins because
[SPEAKER_02]: She has not been talking to Kristen since their confrontation in the last episode.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Katie mentions, like, oh, do you think she's going to come to the photo shoot tomorrow and Stasi's like, she better not, like, I am still on the war path to try to make her quit her job.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like,
[SPEAKER_02]: she said I need to get her to quit so I never have to see her again and Katie goes, you know how to do it.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're the best at it.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, yeah, but Kristen knows all my tactics.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it might have to come up with some new ones.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then she says I wish Kristen was going through this right now.
[SPEAKER_01]: She sweats her ass off.
[SPEAKER_02]: Little big aluminum Exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: I wish that upon my enemies as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah go to What shape house?
[SPEAKER_02]: Go to shape house an urban sweat lodge I mean it basically just is hell you're just paying for hell.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah dispute this charge in your credit cards Please call the bank.
[SPEAKER_02]: Get that money back get them on the phone All right, so boof
[SPEAKER_02]: Tom and Chris and are getting drinks somewhere.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep, they're having freaking beers.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, they're talking about exactly what you think they're talking about The conversation topic on everyone slips.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_01]: The Jackson Chris and of it all.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep, and Tom is like listen I mean those texts are really damning, but the only person who's opinion I really care about is Kristen and she says it didn't happen So what can I do?
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's like, I guess, not believe her, like we have, a fork in the road is before you, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: You have text evidence from her phone.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Kristen's whole excuse for that, by the way, is that somehow, Jack's downloaded some sort of software or app that made it look like Kristen texted him that when she didn't.
[SPEAKER_01]: which isn't maybe I'm a dumbass, but I don't think the Jack's Taylor can just access some shit like that from the App Store.
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
[SPEAKER_01]: And be like, I got it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure there's like, you know, there's fake phone number apps, but it wouldn't make it look like it came from his real phone number.
[SPEAKER_01]: Do I think that Jack's Taylor understands what malware is?
[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, no, no, no, no.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is like what they're hypothesizing is that there's some like,
[SPEAKER_01]: fake phone number app that Jacks could have downloaded that would have spoofed it within the eye messages to her exact, which doesn't exist.
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
[SPEAKER_02]: That is not real.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Tom is just like, yeah, Jacks would have had to go through a lot of effort to like get that on his phone and Kristen Stone cold is like, I know.
[SPEAKER_02]: I know.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's crazy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, he's crazy.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's crazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like this close to being like, yeah, no, he hired someone in Bang with that, she's like hack my phone and send them messages.
[SPEAKER_01]: Immovable.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's absolutely immovable.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Tom is just like, man, Christian just seems so convincing.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, he's like, he just so doesn't want to believe it.
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, I guess that could happen.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so Booth, we are over at the rooftop at Andaz, and it is the day of the sur photo shoot, huge things are happening, huge things are happening, and everyone is getting glam, everybody's showing up, they're getting glam for the photo shoot, and you know Ariana's there, Peters there, Stasi's there, Sheena's there, and Estasi and Sheena are getting ready next to one another.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just want to take a moment to acknowledge how sweet this is, that they start kind of like gossiping about something else.
[SPEAKER_02]: Just a regular friend style.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love a stussy sheet of friendship.
[SPEAKER_01]: Me too.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so beautiful to watch.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so fleeting, but it's so beautiful.
[SPEAKER_02]: You've only watched it.
[SPEAKER_02]: I know.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're getting ready next to each other and Stasi's like, okay, the most annoying thing happened to me yesterday.
[SPEAKER_02]: I started getting all of these texts from Jacks.
[SPEAKER_02]: And she just like, oh my god, like, what did he say?
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stasi's like, if you wanted to be with me, nothing would stand in my way, like nothing.
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like,
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, what'd you say to that?
[SPEAKER_02]: It's saucy when I told him to fuck off.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, saucy's like, oh, nothing was jaded your way, except for Kristen's vagina, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, what do you mean nothing was jaded your way?
[SPEAKER_02]: And she goes, meanwhile, he is quite literally publicly tweeting at another girl, being like, I miss you, I want to see you.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's scary and sorry actually scary.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is the tech whiz the download it an app And literally fake text this guy.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think the grister he doesn't care about covering shit up And he doesn't he also doesn't know what the internet is.
[SPEAKER_02]: He has no idea what's going on He's stupid and he's a sociopath.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you know, he's booming out on Twitter.com actively as we speak and you think that he's fucking fucking in the app
[SPEAKER_01]: Store like developing an app that lets him spoof your number in eye messages.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's Gen X, and you think he's hacking the mainframe?
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, it really, oh, get a grip, get a grip.
[SPEAKER_02]: So...
[SPEAKER_02]: As they're talking about this, Jack shows up, and immediately there's kind of like this tension that he's there.
[SPEAKER_01]: But, and this was our first James Kennedy sighting.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes!
[SPEAKER_01]: Jackson immediately walks in and starts talking to James.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Shadow James Kennedy sighting.
[SPEAKER_01]: Can't wait to hang out with you next season.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's going to be a fun season with you, James Kennedy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Cannot wait to talk about you girl so Jack shows up and again, it's like it's immediately tense, but like people are still getting ready Whatever, they're kind of ignoring jacks and Lisa also shows up with the photographer Fabian morassar Okay, Lisa only knows people with names like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like if you don't have a name like that She's like I simply you cannot be in my circle.
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly
[SPEAKER_02]: And Lisa mentions that at the photo shoot this year, Kristen is, in fact, excluded.
[SPEAKER_02]: Probably a good call on Lisa's part because Kristen has been The absolute devil at work.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and she's been like suspended and just all of these things.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, way that she's baved.
[SPEAKER_01]: She just need to be here.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: So everyone kind of starts taking photos, the photoshoot starts, and they are taking a photo of all of the servers, all of the male servers shirtless around Lisa.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're oiled up.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're very sexy.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're being sexy, Lisa's being sexy, and Tom's and all Walt's is in about 45 minutes late.
[SPEAKER_01]: Lisa's like, what the fuck are you doing?
[SPEAKER_01]: Where have you been?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, obviously you're not going to be in the shop.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't even know.
[SPEAKER_01]: He immediately starts playing soap with that egg he's like...
[SPEAKER_01]: Sorry.
[SPEAKER_01]: Crazy things are happening.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like crazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't even like even freaking go to sleep I've been literally awake for longer than any human being should ever be awake You just wouldn't even believe what I've been going through At least it's like okay, just go fucking get ready.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like please just go get ready.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know I don't know what to tell you about this like go leave
[SPEAKER_02]: As Tom goes to get ready, he has his eyes set on his next target, instead of his tongue gets girlfriend.
[SPEAKER_02]: And his next target is in fact, Ms. Stasi Schroeder.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, he needs answers.
[SPEAKER_02]: He needs answers now.
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, you know, everyone's just decided that this is true.
[SPEAKER_02]: Just because Stasi decided that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: True.
[SPEAKER_01]: And he, in his confessional, he says, I can very well picture Stasi borrowing Kristen's phone and sending these texts because she wants everyone else to believe it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, okay, we have to go back and revisit the end of last episode.
[SPEAKER_01]: We were like, okay, it seems like maybe there were more texts.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Then just the one's a saucy scent.
[SPEAKER_01]: But saucy did, he did read the text that he was in the room.
[SPEAKER_01]: When saucy drafted and sent the text.
[SPEAKER_01]: And now it's like, do you have fucking brain damage?
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you were there.
[SPEAKER_01]: You were in the room when it happened.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Even if it was in style.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Even if there was more,
[SPEAKER_01]: the way he's acting isn't fully explaining it and so I have to in my head I start to be like there has to be more There has to be something that they cut out to add additional context here because yeah, I can't It doesn't is he really that stupid like maybe maybe maybe he's just that stupid maybe or
[SPEAKER_01]: In my head, I was trying to come up with alternative theories.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, do we think that it's possible that because nothing really happened when Stasi sent that fake text, do you think that Tom thought that was going to get cut from the show?
[SPEAKER_01]: And so he was trying to spend like a new narrative to make it seem like Stasi was really evil and that she could have done something like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe because he was like, well, nothing happens, so that's not going to make it in.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: That was the only theory I could come up with.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: It is.
[SPEAKER_01]: It is just like,
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like I would maybe go the stupid route because I'm like he is just so dumb so I'm like maybe he did genuinely just forget because that moment just like wasn't about him so he just like tuned it out the goal thing is so weird to me it's so weird it makes me feel like it's the show has been edited in a way to confuse me because I'm like there's no way he's this stupid yeah they're purposefully confusing us
[SPEAKER_02]: But the hell, Vanderpump editors season two, maybe he's just that stupid.
[SPEAKER_02]: He might be.
[SPEAKER_02]: And he asks Stasi to go outside to talk, and he and Stasi sit down on a couple of pool chairs, and Tom's like, all right, like, just give it to me straight.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what, what did you hear?
[SPEAKER_02]: What a jack's tell you.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stasi's like, they had sex, and she was getting loud.
[SPEAKER_02]: So she had to cover her mouth the entire time, which I know turns jacks on.
[SPEAKER_02]: Jack's told Stossie this.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like still bragging Throughout this right to mitt betrayal.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like yeah, and she was really turned on by the way So yeah, she's like screaming.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was doing incredible things to him.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, she looked she could even contain herself.
[SPEAKER_02]: She had to cover him out Yeah, what I was doing to her body was amazing.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I don't know.
[SPEAKER_02]: I just write that down
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like the only person that has this information in his chest.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you know what he said that, which is like, I don't know, crazy information to give to your girlfriend, but okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like don't share that, I guess.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like that seems like really twisting the knife.
[SPEAKER_02]: Torqued Stasi said she wanted all the details so yeah, I made her come freaking twice Yeah, I was slinging mega doll.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, she loved it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it was awesome I was going sideways upside down mode totally bunch of ways.
[SPEAKER_01]: A bunch of ways she really liked certain we kind of did like every single position I don't think I could name even one single one that we didn't do.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, everyone that you know that you can think of We did yeah, and even though if you probably that you haven't heard of yet.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, we invented some
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, if you come out of it from a certain angle, you make them scream a little blame.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, yeah, and they did it again when YouTube got in a fight and went to Jackson's house.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Tom's a media response was to be like, well, I don't know, because he said that they went down on each other at my house.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I got it.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, is that better?
[SPEAKER_02]: You're like, grasping at straws.
[SPEAKER_01]: Is there like, there's like some, you know, differentiation of information here.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're doing this over here and that over here did they fuck did they just go down each other like I just feel like I'm confusing So it's like saying a lot of stuff.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like how about like how mad should I be like should I be mad and like Are they went down on each other kind of way or should I be mad and that like they did all the positions and he made her scream kind of way It's like I don't understand different types of mad.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's really trying so hard to Just bury this and act like it's not a problem which I don't even understand because I don't think he wants to be with her But I guess he hasn't accepted it within himself
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think it's like it's still buried in him obviously because he cheats on her all the time So it's like why didn't even I cheat on her, but I do still love her like he seems to genuinely believe that Yes, he thinks those two things can kind of like exist at the same time.
[SPEAKER_01]: No self-awareness
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stasi's basically like, are you fucking kidding me?
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, are you?
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely kidding me.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're nitpicking this entire thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, you either believe it or you don't.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, she's like, how are you even normal right now?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like why are you the way that you are?
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Tom's like, well, how am I supposed to believe something that freaking Jack said?
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, he lies all the time.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stasi's like, Jack's makes shit up to make him look good.
[SPEAKER_02]: He doesn't make up shit to like, put himself in bad situations.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: like he wouldn't just make this up.
[SPEAKER_02]: He knows that it would cause this terrible, you know, blow up.
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, why do you think I hit Kristen in her fucking face?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: And she basically tells I'm like, you're in denial.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you should break up with her.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't know why the hell you wouldn't.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, well, it's it's my decision and I'm not in denial and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's not getting it.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's not getting it and Stasi points out something that I think is actually like very astute, which is that she says, you know you have a support system, you have friends around you, you have people here who would rally around you if you guys were to break up.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know why you keep acting like it's you and Kristen against the world.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank God someone set up because I'm so tired of seeing him and Kristen be like,
[SPEAKER_02]: No one gets us.
[SPEAKER_02]: No right.
[SPEAKER_02]: And he literally responds to her and he's like, that's just what it feels like sometimes.
[SPEAKER_02]: How?
[SPEAKER_02]: She cheated on you.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right.
[SPEAKER_02]: And you cheated on her.
[SPEAKER_02]: Neither of you are against anything.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: You aren't together in a good or real way.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is everything that's happening right now, isn't it?
[SPEAKER_02]: The logic that these people like.
[SPEAKER_02]: they will twist themselves into knots trying to like get out of a situation and like falsely create some narrative and it is like astounding to watch it happen in real time.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just like, oh my god.
[SPEAKER_01]: While all of this is happening, Jack's is like modeling off to the side.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I flexing, just going to town, like making out with himself in the mirror.
[SPEAKER_01]: Not a fucking care in the world.
[SPEAKER_01]: Which, by the way, I imagine that Jack's Taylor has done that many times in his life.
[SPEAKER_02]: He is truly like the myth of narcissists come to life.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, he's got spit marks on his mirror for sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: No doubt about it.
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's, you know, when a talking head telling us all about how you model good, always look confused, I'm sure that isn't hard for him.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, oh, what are we doing?
[SPEAKER_01]: While all this is happening, Tom gets called over to model with Jacks, which is painfully fucking awkward.
[SPEAKER_01]: There was like completely naked while this is happening.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're like in towels that are literally being held up by their penis.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's barely, yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Jacks is like, his towel is slung so incredibly low, like cheeks basically out.
[SPEAKER_02]: And like same with Tom and they're both just like rigidly standing there, like taking photos.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, awkward.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Lisa and Guillermo are watching from a distance.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Lisa's like, I can't.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like whispering to Guillermo, little gossip she is.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't even begin to understand Jacks.
[SPEAKER_01]: He does not give a single shit.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I don't, he's got no moral conscience.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, no, we know Lisa.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, that's, we've been clocking into this.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's weird and unsightly.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's really strange.
[SPEAKER_01]: What I would give to have a gossip Lisa Vanderb own.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh my God, everything in my entire life, I would give.
[SPEAKER_02]: And at some point, Jack's kind of wanders over into the area that Lisa and Guillermo are speaking, and Lisa says to Jack's, like, I'm shocked that Tom hasn't socked you yet, and Jack's goes, Jack's goes, as if he's talking, he's justifying why he did it to Lisa and Guillermo.
[SPEAKER_02]: He goes, Tom's a shitty boyfriend.
[SPEAKER_02]: Is that his father's girlfriend?
[SPEAKER_02]: We want to have a problem.
[SPEAKER_02]: How about that?
[SPEAKER_02]: He's incredible.
[SPEAKER_02]: He doesn't give up.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, he's like, he deserved it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, he fully deserved it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and if he's gonna punch me, he better knock me out.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because he's got another thing called it.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, he's so big and tough.
[SPEAKER_02]: He can't even take me.
[SPEAKER_02]: Boo, boop, boop, boop.
[SPEAKER_02]: He can't.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, they were glorified roommates, like whatever, who cares?
[SPEAKER_02]: Which is just like a crazy, I'm like,
[SPEAKER_02]: Where did this narrative come from?
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I don't really know.
[SPEAKER_02]: I guess I know that like, he never really liked like Kristen and Tom's relationship, but you don't really realize how deep it goes until this storyline comes out where it's like, wow, he really did not give a fuck about their relationship at all.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, or them.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, he's evil.
[SPEAKER_01]: This man is like straight up a sociopath.
[SPEAKER_01]: So evil.
[SPEAKER_02]: the boys are all standing around getting their photos taken the girls are getting their photos taken everyone's getting like their asses photographed and then for whatever reason I don't know why Stasi pitches that they should all be nude.
[SPEAKER_01]: crazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like Stasi Ariana, Peter, Katie, and Tina.
[SPEAKER_01]: And in their girl, Peter is in the middle.
[SPEAKER_01]: Imagine this.
[SPEAKER_01]: Peter's in the middle.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then we have Stasi and Ariana on one side and Katie and Tina on the other.
[SPEAKER_01]: And they're all like Peter and Stasi are facing each other, but they're all like in a line, just completely naked, like standing close to each other.
[SPEAKER_01]: Dick in balls to push yeah in the middle just like there just on this rooftop on this hotel rooftop and I'm like Peter pretty close on yeah, like he is he is act.
[SPEAKER_01]: He has the expression of a man who's aware that he has four naked women Pressed up against him and it's just making me go Yeah, like it grosses me out seeing him like this the only thing that gets me through this scene is I'm like I know Peter can't handle the sauce no
[SPEAKER_02]: Peter can't hit a lot of that song.
[SPEAKER_02]: You really can, no.
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's like, it makes me just like, my whole body just starts to tense up.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm also like, why is Peter a part of it?
[SPEAKER_02]: Why?
[SPEAKER_02]: This is crazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is also crazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're at a, this is a restaurant photo shoot and all of a sudden, everyone's naked with the general manager.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Shortly, this is an HR file like this cannot be right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Peter's naked.
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, everyone.
[SPEAKER_02]: Peter's naked.
[SPEAKER_02]: Guys, Peter's naked.
[SPEAKER_02]: Peter's naked and you're laughing.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're laughing and Peter's naked.
[SPEAKER_02]: What's happening?
[SPEAKER_02]: Peter can't even be naked anymore because of woke.
[SPEAKER_02]: Put that on the billboard, Lisa.
[SPEAKER_02]: That on the fucking billboard.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Lisa like comes in while they're all taking this vote.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like she doesn't fucking know that this is going on.
[SPEAKER_02]: Of course she does.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like,
[SPEAKER_01]: Back to the photo shoot whose idea was this get dressed like you know exactly what's going on It's like just the whole thing isn't saying top to bottom.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, why does photographer agree to Photographer say yes like why is this photo shoot even happening in the first place like what are these promo materials
[SPEAKER_02]: a little bit later, they're still at Andas, and they're kind of in between shoots, and Sheena is near Lisa and starts a conversation with her by saying, you know, thanks.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm so excited for my engagement party at Surtamaro, thanks for letting me have it at Surt.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Lisa's like, oh, of course, you know, like happy to do it, blah, blah, blah, and Sheena's like, you know,
[SPEAKER_02]: I want Tom there, but like, I don't really want Kristen to show up.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Lisa's like, well, things just need to be made right there.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I don't know what to tell you.
[SPEAKER_02]: And she turns to Stasi and she's like, by the way, have you apologized to Kristen for hitting her in the face?
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stasi's like, no.
[SPEAKER_02]: Why would I do that?
[SPEAKER_02]: Why the fuck would I apologize to Kristen for that?
[SPEAKER_02]: And Lisa's like, girl.
[SPEAKER_01]: She literally fucked my ex-boyfriend, like if that's well over the line and Lisa's like, you know what's well over the line.
[SPEAKER_01]: You slapping her What are we gonna do about that so she's like will she deserved it?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, she's like I will crucify her I don't care and Lisa's like what does that mean and she's like listen I lost the battle, but I'm not losing the war
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm scared.
[SPEAKER_01]: OK, back to work.
[SPEAKER_01]: Back to shooting.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're doing some more group photos and Jackson Tom are being included together all up close.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Lisa's whispering to the photographer.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I wouldn't put, I wouldn't put Jackson to close the Tom.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I'd be careful there.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, he's like a live snake.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's kind of how.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then she's whispering to Guillermo being like, you know, I feel really bad for Tom.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's so sad, look at him, you could just tell.
[SPEAKER_01]: The sadness is oozing off of his skin, and it cuts to him like flexing his abs so hard.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
[SPEAKER_01]: And Tom's like, no, she says the text is bullshit.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Lisa's like, but the text, hmm, well, we can't do it about that Tom.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And he's like, oh, but the thing is that there's like tech that would allow me to send messages on my phone that made a look like it came from like, Stossies, fun, or whatever.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Lisa's like, Tom, you know, Jacks, and I know, Jacks.
[SPEAKER_02]: And we both know that he doesn't fucking know how to do that.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like in order for Jacks to do that, you'd be paying him a awfully big compliment in terms of intelligence level.
[SPEAKER_01]: Please don't do this, please.
[SPEAKER_02]: Please, I actually think that might be worse than him sleeping with Kristen.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's almost like, no, it's not that I like believed that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I just like,
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, like it could be, like it could be an option.
[SPEAKER_01]: Lisa's like, why even put that out there?
[SPEAKER_01]: Why even say that?
[SPEAKER_01]: You know it's not true.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Lisa's like, listen, you're talking a lot about Jackson.
[SPEAKER_02]: And like how upset you are with Jackson.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I'm not hearing you mention it, Kristen at all.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, are you more let down by Jackson or Kristen?
[SPEAKER_02]: You don't talk about her.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, doesn't she have an Iyota of responsibility here?
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, shouldn't she be honest?
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, at least Jackson did eventually come forward and tell the truth.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can easily hide underneath my covers, I know what I mean, you know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_01]: Give me a mention.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's basically what he does.
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to see Thompson fall open up cry like a dog.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe that would be so funny.
[SPEAKER_02]: Open mouth cry like a child.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so good.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Lisa is like, this is like when the Brit in her comes out because like Tom's public display of sadness is like not cool with her.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like no, absolutely not.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's literally just like, she's lying to you.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know that.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know that.
[SPEAKER_01]: We all know that deal with it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd be more concerned about Kristen, the woman you're sharing a bed with.
[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, do it that way you will.
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, chin up.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, go on.
[SPEAKER_02]: Bit, bit, bit, bit, bit up.
[SPEAKER_02]: We have to take more nude photos.
[SPEAKER_02]: Get those clothes off, gone, on.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, up to one, two, one, two.
[SPEAKER_02]: We'll only take a big group photo and the photographer calls Jiggy Sexy.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then Lisa pushes Jackson the pool.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and she's like, just now, this is for all of you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Not for me.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's a little bit for you, Lisa.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's totally for Lisa.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think seeing water glistening off of Jackson's abs
[SPEAKER_01]: Comment, Lisa, comment on the accusation, Lisa, comment, come on the pod, come on.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: So, boof, we are at Tom and Kristen's apartment.
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you can believe it, they're still on the topic of whether or not Kristen fucked jacks.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you could possibly imagine this scenario, if you can believe it.
[SPEAKER_02]: And they are getting ready for sheen as engagement.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's the next day.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're getting ready for the engagement party that night.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Kristen's like,
[SPEAKER_02]: want to make a bet on how long it'll take to like get a drink thrown in my face.
[SPEAKER_02]: Ha ha ha.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like she's she is she's got a light as air light as a feather attitude in times like no not funny Tussin.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm still actively hurting.
[SPEAKER_01]: See when we do cry on camera to prove it do.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm still coming to the realization that jacks might not in fact be a tech whiz like I was hoping you is.
[SPEAKER_02]: and you're making jokes, you're making jokes.
[SPEAKER_02]: Jack is a jack.
[SPEAKER_02]: Jack can't work phone in your laughing.
[SPEAKER_02]: Jack can't work phone in your laugh.
[SPEAKER_02]: Jack can't even work phone anymore because of woke.
[SPEAKER_02]: Jack banned from app store because of woke.
[SPEAKER_02]: And you laugh and you laugh and Christians like, okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Kristen's like my biggest concern is more talking to Lisa actually, but I'm just going to be honest about everything and like see what she says.
[SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_01]: And she asks Tom how the photo she was and Tom's like, you know, so I talked to Lisa and I also talked to Joshie.
[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, she did go into some more details than Jack's originally did, and Chris and again is like, I haven't texted him or anyone else.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, what does that mean?
[SPEAKER_01]: Why did you say, or anyone else like, no, you for sure texted other people?
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm texting him or anyone else.
[SPEAKER_01]: No one.
[SPEAKER_01]: I haven't sent a single text off my phone.
[SPEAKER_01]: I haven't talked to anyone and I never will.
[SPEAKER_01]: I never will.
[SPEAKER_01]: Disconnected by service.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't even have a phone anymore.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's one of those, it's one of those little leapfrog phones that you give to a fourth grader.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, and Tom is like, you know, I'm just like, I've tried every possible way to work out in my head how this happened.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've looked into all the various apps that could exist out there.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I just, there's no way those texts came from anywhere else other than your phone.
[SPEAKER_01]: You sent them.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's like, I didn't send them.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what else.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what to say.
[SPEAKER_01]: magic I guess and Tom's like just admit it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I want you to be honest and just admit it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I saw the text.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know this shit is fucking true.
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you want to move forward in this relationship, you're just need to fess up to it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And she's like, if you don't believe me, then this is over.
[SPEAKER_01]: She follows it up after that by saying, you're gonna let this end us really and start crying.
[SPEAKER_01]: And in that moment, I was like, they're soulmates.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like they were meant for each other and you can't convince me otherwise Kristen and Tom are perfect for each other Yes, they were endgame.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, it was in this moment that I was like and there it was clarity It was in front of us all along.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we thought chunk is boyfriend this chunk is girlfriend that
[SPEAKER_01]: There was a reason they were together.
[SPEAKER_01]: Chungus relationship.
[SPEAKER_01]: They were supposed to be together in the world's tore them apart.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm on board now with the Bonnie and Clyde of it all.
[SPEAKER_01]: It is them against the world.
[SPEAKER_01]: The we were wrong.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's something, you know, it's like they are what the drama was trying to capture.
[SPEAKER_02]: the drama tried, but they couldn't quite get there.
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
[SPEAKER_01]: And at the end of the day, like, she, the fact that she knows that it's true.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: And is sitting in front of him being like, well, if you don't believe me, then I guess this relationship is over, which is exactly something he would do to her.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like beautiful.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's incredible.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, this is incredible.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is women's rights.
[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's honestly amazing because it's like, yeah, the the links that these two will go to to lie to one another, while still just being horrible to each other.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like,
[SPEAKER_02]: You're actively doing the bad thing, but then you'll you'll both like go to the mat being like I didn't do it Right, I know you have proof, but I didn't and then you'll crucify the other person for doing the exact same thing that you also did Yes, like you guys are awesome You guys are so cool.
[SPEAKER_00]: If there's a love then what is if there's a friendship then what is it that's not music then what is
[SPEAKER_01]: That's playing when Stasi was in the car.
[SPEAKER_01]: The couple episodes ago.
[SPEAKER_00]: Crazy car.
[SPEAKER_01]: Nice cuts.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh god.
[SPEAKER_02]: Kristen as she's doubling down says about jacks.
[SPEAKER_02]: I hope that piece of shit burns and hell before storming outside to smoke a cigarette She's so chic and Tom goes and angrily straightens his hair
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't let go I'm mad about my friend from this girlfriend Kristen's at least doing something hot.
[SPEAKER_01]: Tom is like Oh my girlfriend and my girlfriend cheated on me with my friend Oh my friend Oh my friend and won't come on point Sit for the way that I want to do I can never quite get my caldic I can never get my caldic to go
[SPEAKER_01]: This is awesome.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so awesome.
[SPEAKER_01]: I believe in love.
[SPEAKER_01]: Love is real.
[SPEAKER_02]: Whoa.
[SPEAKER_02]: Love is real Don't remind those two words too closely
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, so Shina and Ariana are going and trying on wedding dresses that she cannot afford as she mentioned, she's on a waitress budget.
[SPEAKER_02]: She does foreshadow, this is the kind of the only important part of this see up.
[SPEAKER_02]: She foreshadows that she wants a dress that is sexy and classy.
[SPEAKER_02]: while also allowing for her to twerk and booty pop in it.
[SPEAKER_02]: So just keep that in mind.
[SPEAKER_02]: We'll see if she achieves that.
[SPEAKER_02]: We'll see if she achieves that dress silhouette, okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: Boof, boof.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the engagement party, yeah, yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Shay, opens up this scene.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's, I don't know who the fuck he's talking to, but he says, this is my last celebration.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like screwed now.
[SPEAKER_02]: What do men think getting married is?
[SPEAKER_02]: Because you don't have to get married.
[SPEAKER_02]: Why would getting married mean that you're never celebrating and never ever again?
[SPEAKER_02]: This is the last celebration.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like screwed.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm screwed now.
[SPEAKER_01]: What?
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: The straight people things, not during Pride Month, not to.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's none of our business.
[SPEAKER_01]: Honestly, we shouldn't be talking about any of this during the private month.
[SPEAKER_01]: Starting private month?
[SPEAKER_01]: Shut it down.
[SPEAKER_02]: Shut it all down.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: But she knows Amt.
[SPEAKER_02]: She said that she's been planning her engagement party since the first day they started dating.
[SPEAKER_02]: Love that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Because she knew the very first day that they met.
[SPEAKER_02]: That she was the one.
[SPEAKER_01]: I imagine Cheena said this same sentence about every person she's ever met ever.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's kind of one of those things like at some point it'll be true.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Say it enough times eventually it'll hit, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: As everyone kind of pulls into the engagement party, the gang all shows up, Lisa pulls Stasi to the side and is like, hey, listen.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if Kristen's coming tonight, but if she is, you really need to apologize.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stasi's like, fuck no.
[SPEAKER_02]: And some Lisa's like, you need to, you need to girl.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, Lisa's like holding her at gunpoint, like you have to apologize.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: And actually, Lisa's majorly overstepping here.
[SPEAKER_02]: I completely agree, especially given what happens at the end of this episode and how Lisa responds to what happens at the end of this episode.
[SPEAKER_02]: Lisa seems to think that like Stasi has made some sort of like life-changing decision in slapping Kristen.
[SPEAKER_02]: When it's like, I actually think that Stasi's response to Kristen, her best friend, sleeping with Stasi's ex-boyfriend, is fine.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, Lisa's whole thing is she's like as long as it's not at work.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like don't be crazy at work.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: So see was crazy outside of work.
[SPEAKER_01]: You all the time, Lisa's like, I don't want to be involved in your personal lives.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then you're like scolding Stasi like she's your daughter.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like you have to apologize to her for this.
[SPEAKER_01]: Which I would understand.
[SPEAKER_01]: a little bit if Kristen was like coming to work being like I was assaulted by one of your employees right and like making a real stink about it but Kristen isn't doing that yeah so why why is Lisa getting involved at all it's a great question that I have for many situations where Lisa gets a little too involved with Stasi's life yeah Stasi specifically I think she holds her
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stasi's like, okay, like, if you really want me to apologize to her, if this means that much to you, fine, I will apologize to Kristen if she shows up, then I will apologize to her.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Lisa's like, okay, great.
[SPEAKER_02]: Meanwhile.
[SPEAKER_02]: Sheena, scurries off to the bathroom with Ariana.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, she snook off.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, just because she had a little surprise of her sleeve.
[SPEAKER_02]: She changes into her hot pants and her tank top to debut her good as gold song.
[SPEAKER_01]: Huge.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love the idea of debuting your new song.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep, at your engagement party.
[SPEAKER_01]: You guys have heard so much about engagement parties being about the couple?
[SPEAKER_01]: How about what if it was only about Shina?
[SPEAKER_01]: What if it was in fact about one of the people in that couple's EP?
[SPEAKER_01]: Honestly, I barely even saw Shae.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think he was even there.
[SPEAKER_01]: Was it Shae at the engagement party?
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think he realized it was going to be his last celebration.
[SPEAKER_01]: And he said, I left.
[SPEAKER_01]: He went home and he was like, I actually can't even bear that.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is my last celebration.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, he was in mourning.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Shina was like, launch party.
[SPEAKER_02]: Who wants to hear my new single good as gold and everyone's like I guess because we're here for you We have to kind of I suppose celebrate that and this and she's like great hit it and it's the track And things good as gold I love in pandora's box for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll bring the rock for you We're gonna all the night
[SPEAKER_00]: How about we a hunko dance, swinging, feet to the crowd, singing, this pain makes me come alive Because we're good as gold Because we're good as gold Because we're good as gold Because we're good as gold
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you know what people seem to like it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that was pretty much exactly what the performance was like.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, a better, I would wager.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Jackson Schwartz are not in their heads along.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're bumping, they're bumping, you know, Katie's like, I told Sheena a couple months ago, that she didn't have a singing career.
[SPEAKER_02]: And
[SPEAKER_02]: I kind of still think that she doesn't have a singing career, but she's getting better.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and Stasi's like, you know, it's catchy.
[SPEAKER_01]: I would download it only illegally, but I would download it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: And she, not God bless her is just having the time of her life.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's like, it's so fun to be up here dancing.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that my voice is on point.
[SPEAKER_02]: And if Shay and I can have parties like this every month, I would.
[SPEAKER_02]: I love you girl, everyone is riding that good as gold high and then Tom and Kristen arrive and she does shocked She's like wow.
[SPEAKER_01]: I really did not expect Kristen to come.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes
[SPEAKER_01]: She's got some balls to show up here.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and she's like, well, at least she brought me a three-tiered pink present.
[SPEAKER_02]: Totally.
[SPEAKER_02]: All this for a given in terms of, in she and as I say, yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stasi, good on her word, she rolls up to Kristen and Tom, and she's like, hey, like, can I talk to you outside?
[SPEAKER_02]: And Kristen and Tom, which is kind of weird, are like, yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: And they both go outside.
[SPEAKER_02]: They follow, they follow Stasi outside.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Kristen immediately starts crying.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, I can't even look you in the eye.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Stasi's like, I can't even cry over you anymore.
[SPEAKER_01]: Kristen, I've done it enough.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Kristen goes, and you don't deserve to.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I can't even look you in the eye right now because I fucking lied straight to your face.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: I did have sex with him one time and Stossie's like fucking gobsmacked.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, because she came into this conversation ready to apologize.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, she was not expecting a confession.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, holy fuck, what the hell did you just say?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and now obviously, Stossie's in her head.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, she's never fucking getting an apology at me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank God I didn't do it first.
[SPEAKER_02]: Truly.
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank God Kristen was the one who started this conversation.
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank God for that.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stossie's like, so you had sex with Jacks.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Kristen goes, yes, and Stasi and a talking head is like holy shit after months of all of this drama.
[SPEAKER_02]: I genuinely never thought this moment would come.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and they like flash back to all of the times that Kristen has lied sworn on family members lives that she never slept with jacks like said she wouldn't fucking with a 10 foot roll.
[SPEAKER_01]: Stasi is like reliving the last
[SPEAKER_01]: You can see it on her face.
[SPEAKER_01]: She is fucking shocked.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, she's like I cannot believe that she's admitting to this right now And not only is she reliving All of the times that Kristen lied about not sleeping with jacks.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's also reliving How many times she supported Kristen?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah
[SPEAKER_02]: through the whole like Tom and Ariana beat.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, Kristen is losing her mind sobbing over the potential that Tom and Ariana kissed.
[SPEAKER_01]: Meanwhile, she had full on sex with Jacks.
[SPEAKER_02]: Multiple times.
[SPEAKER_02]: She claims only one.
[SPEAKER_02]: Same to the ones, but I have to believe it's multiple.
[SPEAKER_02]: I have to believe it's multiple as well.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stasi says, I am honest to God so shocked you just admitted it, and Kristen's like inconsolable.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's like, I like to you, I like to him, justuring to Tom.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Stasi's like, it's not about lying.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, it's not about the lying.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's that you slept with my ex-boyfriend and cheated on your boyfriend.
[SPEAKER_02]: What is wrong with you?
[SPEAKER_02]: Like she's genuinely like shocked, like she's like, no, no girl, you're not quite getting it still.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not about the fact that you like withheld this truth.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's about the truth.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the action.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, listen, the line's also bad, but the crux of it, the center point here, is the fact that you did it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, you cheated on him and betrayed me and did this insane fucking thing right fucking the most Ineligible bachelor and all of Los Angeles like what are we fucking doing?
[SPEAKER_02]: What are we doing?
[SPEAKER_02]: She's like what is wrong with you and Christians like everything everything's wrong with me and Stasi is like
[SPEAKER_01]: You have sat there for months making me feel bad for you, and Tom immediately is like, ooh, yeah, it wakes from the dead and he's like, um, um, she can't make you feel any bad.
[SPEAKER_01]: Those are the drugs quote.
[SPEAKER_01]: She can't make you feel any bad.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Stasi's like, Tom, you cannot be fucking serious right now.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're defending her?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you on drugs?
[SPEAKER_01]: What are you doing?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Tom's like, listen, like, I knew it would be impossible for Kristen to face this alone.
[SPEAKER_02]: So as crazy as it seems like that's why I'm here for her.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's like, yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: it is crazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: It is crazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: It is completely crazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Tom is like, I don't like that you're making it out to seem like you're the lone victim in all of this.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like for Tom's at crashing out at Stasi for some reason.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: All personal and Stasi has a
[SPEAKER_01]: perfect reaction to him.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, Oh, okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're that's the thing here.
[SPEAKER_01]: You think that I'm making myself the loan victim.
[SPEAKER_01]: Fine.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll leave.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can be the loan victim now.
[SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_01]: And she walks away and leaves him with Kristen.
[SPEAKER_01]: Good.
[SPEAKER_01]: He wanted to show it.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was for his own ego that he was reacting that way.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Stasi was like, fine.
[SPEAKER_01]: You wanted a little boost to your ego.
[SPEAKER_01]: Here you go.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_02]: Take it.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then talking head.
[SPEAKER_02]: Stasi is like these guys are locking themselves into one another and into such a dark and lonely place It is like scary to walk.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and it is completely it's honestly to your point It's like it's maybe the first time in this entire show where I'm like yeah, I think they're perfect for each other Don't break up marry each other.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't break up.
[SPEAKER_02]: Stay
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you guys are great and Stasi walks up to Tom Schwartz and Katie and Sheena and Ariana like a couple other people and she is like crying and of course just feels like so insane and she's like Kristen just admitted it.
[SPEAKER_02]: They immediately hand her a cigarette.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Shina and Ariana start walking over as Stossie starts recapping what just happened to Schwartz and Katie.
[SPEAKER_01]: And when Stossie repeats what Kristen says, Barfer Bar, like I had sex with Jacks, everyone is shocked.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Shina and Ariana are like, oh, yes, Jacks here is what's being talked about now.
[SPEAKER_01]: So then he walks over and he's like, wait, what, what's happening?
[SPEAKER_01]: What's going on?
[SPEAKER_01]: And then at this same moment, Tom then walks back in and pulls Jacks to talk in Suralli.
[SPEAKER_01]: So they go out to Sir Ali and Tom starts crying and he's like, I feel like I've really been a friend to you man.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I've accepted you for who you are.
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you do this and not feel any remorse?
[SPEAKER_01]: At the same time, this conversation in Sir Ali is happening.
[SPEAKER_01]: cuts to Lisa pulling Kristen to talk and she's like do you want to tell me why you're crying and Kristen admits everything to her and Lisa's basically like well I am less concerned about all of that and more concerned about the dynamics in this restaurant and how this is going to impact that at large.
[SPEAKER_01]: Cup back to Tom and he's like I read the texts and I feel like I got jacked I got preyed on this is like what you would do to other guys that we don't care about Which is insane so I made a note of that as well Where he says this is like what we do to other guys we don't care about and I was like whoa in my head I was at a like come as a bitch I shouldn't know better like
[SPEAKER_01]: if you go through life treating other people this way and you think it's justifiable because you don't know them or don't care about them and that's the only reason why like the if the only reason you wouldn't do this is because you know someone or care about someone and you would do it to a stranger.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, Karma's going to get your ass that doesn't make you that doesn't make you any better than Jax or anybody else that would do this like you weren't safe from your karma Because you only did it to people you didn't know and like the fact that you think that you would be exempt from Jax treating you this way right
[SPEAKER_02]: it's like it's it's twofold like Jackson's enough of an idiot that he is just he treats every single person in his life no matter how like close or removed they are from him the exact same or with the exact same type of callisness he's too stupid to think about the fact that there might be repercussions for him if he acts that way towards people close to him and
[SPEAKER_02]: It's too early.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's telling each other very exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's only okay when we do it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And, um, Jackson's like, I can sit here and give you a bullshit story, but is that what you want?
[SPEAKER_01]: And Tom, like, no, I'm just asking you.
[SPEAKER_01]: You just don't seem to have any remorse because if I were you, I would feel fucking horrible.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Jackson's like, I'm okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't bother me.
[SPEAKER_02]: Tom takes this like really long pause like it's finally dawning on him like just how little empathy jacks has and he just goes, that's fucking creepy.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's not wrong, he's not wrong.
[SPEAKER_02]: It is fucking crazy.
[SPEAKER_02]: And jacks, once again, in a talking head is like listen, Tom and Kristen's relationship is both it.
[SPEAKER_02]: What?
[SPEAKER_02]: It is pulpit.
[UNKNOWN]: It is pulpit.
[SPEAKER_02]: It is pulpit.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't read.
[SPEAKER_01]: You channeled Jacks Taylor for a second.
[SPEAKER_01]: He also can't read.
[SPEAKER_02]: He cannot read as well.
[SPEAKER_02]: I swear to God, I was really good at reading in high school.
[SPEAKER_02]: In a Jack stocking head, he goes, Tom and Kristen's relationship is bullshit.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like you don't pine for her.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's got to get laid.
[SPEAKER_02]: So do I.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, I sleep good at night.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what else to tell you, man.
[SPEAKER_02]: Tom's like, okay, man.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: So he's like genuinely insane.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, he brings his fully when that person on TikTok said that Jack was showing all the signs of being a family and not a leader.
[SPEAKER_01]: And they said that in relation to the way he behaves on the valley.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think he's always showing signs.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: Because this behavior, it's like,
[SPEAKER_02]: the context of this is so important that he and Tom have been best friends for 10 years.
[SPEAKER_02]: 10 years, multiple cities have lived together.
[SPEAKER_02]: Half of that time, Tom and Kristen have been together, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: And Jack's just feels nothing.
[SPEAKER_02]: No or more, don't care.
[SPEAKER_01]: I sleep good at night.
[SPEAKER_01]: Someone's gotta get later on here.
[SPEAKER_01]: Listen, it's not gonna be you better be me big dog come on
[SPEAKER_01]: big dogs got to eat basically exactly what you said.
[SPEAKER_01]: Cut back to the conversation Lisa's having with Kristen and Lisa says, do you honestly think you can work here anymore?
[SPEAKER_01]: And Kristen says, yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then Lisa's like, I don't think that right now you belong here anymore.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm telling you
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh my god, pretty tough delivery there.
[SPEAKER_02]: Lisa, any comments?
[SPEAKER_01]: Lisa, any words of regret or it's like, yeah, Chris and is
[SPEAKER_01]: Sobbing.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's now, I mean, I'm not that I feel bad for Kristen, but this was a brutal delivery.
[SPEAKER_01]: Really context of what's happening.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, to be like, and by the way, you're horrible at your job.
[SPEAKER_01]: By the way, you suck at your job, and you just don't fit in here anymore.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, there's not a place for you at sex unique restaurant restaurant alone.
[SPEAKER_02]: While you're crying, I just wanted to remind you that you're a pariah as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: And nobody really cares for you or enjoys your presence.
[SPEAKER_01]: Keep crying.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not sexy or unique.
[SPEAKER_01]: get out of my restaurant restaurant and lounge.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Sandevol has walked up to Schwartz.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're talking and Schwartz is basically like, hey man, like, I'm really sorry that this all went down this way.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Sandevol, of course, is kind of talking about how in so many words that basically like Jack's played in his face and he like kind of can't believe it.
[SPEAKER_02]: And
[SPEAKER_02]: um Schwartz is kind of listening to sand of all talking and he's like yeah man, but also like kind of crazy that Kristen did that right and sand of all's like yeah, but jacks.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I can't believe it.
[SPEAKER_02]: We've been friend for so long in terms of like totally man, totally man, but also Kristen and like Schwartz at one point is like
[SPEAKER_02]: It's weird to me that sand of all seems like so mad at Jacks when Kristen also did it and that's his girlfriend, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: Like that's strange and towards his like, hey, I think maybe you just need to go like talk to Kristen and Tom's like totally.
[SPEAKER_02]: I just gotta do one thing first.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's so awesome!
[SPEAKER_02]: The show is so awesome!
[SPEAKER_02]: Just give me one second.
[SPEAKER_02]: One, more second.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, while he like turns his hat backwards, he's going into sport mode, he's ready.
[SPEAKER_01]: He is ready.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm scared.
[SPEAKER_01]: Meanwhile, everyone's kind of starting to gather as a bunch of all the girls are sitting around drinking.
[SPEAKER_01]: Lisa comes and joins them.
[SPEAKER_01]: They do a little cheers to Shina.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like basically everyone is sitting around in a circle.
[SPEAKER_01]: the editing in this part of the show is fucking incredible.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's uniny, the old editors to be given a raise.
[SPEAKER_01]: They've got suspense music in the back.
[SPEAKER_01]: We've got a heartbeat sound effect.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: My, I had chills.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I really felt like I was in there with them.
[SPEAKER_02]: The way they have cameras on all the key players and like the timing of everything too because like the cheers happens and it's so uncomfortable.
[SPEAKER_02]: Because as Lisa is kind of raising a glass to cheers to them.
[SPEAKER_02]: Tom and Kristen both walk up to the group, yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Lisa's like, okay, like, cheers, cheers, sheena, and they're all kind of like, okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: And the heal kind of cheers, Kristen and Tom included.
[SPEAKER_02]: And sheena's like, okay, that was the most awkward cheers of my life.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm gonna go, so let me ask you an important question.
[SPEAKER_01]: Are we guests here?
[SPEAKER_01]: Are we patrons?
[SPEAKER_01]: Are we working?
[SPEAKER_01]: And Lisa goes, are there trays in your hand?
[SPEAKER_01]: Cut the bullshit.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Lisa's like, they're all, again, sitting around.
[SPEAKER_01]: Tensions are high.
[SPEAKER_01]: Boom, boom, boom, boom.
[SPEAKER_01]: Lisa goes, okay, I'm going to go home.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's like, I think all of you guys should go home too.
[SPEAKER_02]: None of them move.
[SPEAKER_02]: Everyone's just waiting to see what happens.
[SPEAKER_01]: Tom goes, Jax, Jax goes, we already had this conversation.
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you want now?
[SPEAKER_02]: Tom goes, no, I'm just wondering, like, you never like feel anything.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like nuts, and then he pauses, he goes.
[SPEAKER_01]: You ever feel this?
[UNKNOWN]: Pfff!
[SPEAKER_01]: Pfff!
[SPEAKER_01]: Which is to me in the head!
[SPEAKER_01]: Which is so crazy this whole sentence that he cooked up in his brain.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's how he's like- You know, Jacks, you never feel anything, but- Do you feel this?
[SPEAKER_01]: Pfff!
[SPEAKER_02]: Ha ha ha ha ha!
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so funny because part of what makes it so awesome is that Tom's inval is so pathetic that even when he's like getting his kind of vengeance
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like still doesn't do it like that's it's like super cringe.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so cornball and totally it's so cornball He thinks he's doing something where he's like I'm the hero and I'm gonna punch the bad guy But like he's not smart enough to like think of anything Also like he says it in the weirdest way possible like the sentence.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can tell he's nervatically makes
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, you can tell he's nervous and like afraid to like get the sentence out and then do it Right, he's afraid that like if he says the sentence too slow then Jack's gonna be like wait What it's honestly it reads like when you're 10 years old and you like script with your mom What to say to a bully like the amount of times my mom would be like okay the next time someone's mean to you It's going to look at them and say I'm rubber your glue whatever
[SPEAKER_01]: It hits me bounce whatever you hits me and bounce up me and sticks to you wherever the fuck that thing Yeah, that's exactly what Thomas doing here.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like yes, first it in this and he's like okay and action You feel this
[SPEAKER_02]: it's so awesome and it's so what makes it so amazing is that like he thinks he hit it out of the park.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like this is awesome.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like this is so great you can tell from the minute that he says I just gotta do this one thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: He thinks he's gonna do something incredibly.
[SPEAKER_01]: So they get, there's a whole shuffle that happens.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sheena's sitting right next to Jack's, so she immediately gets pushed to the side.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Kind of stuck between the trees, Schwartz is on the ground, Christina Kelly's like shuffling Stasi out of the way.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the camera finally cuts to like a steady clean shot.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Jack's is covered in blood and smiling.
[SPEAKER_02]: Ringing ear to ear.
[SPEAKER_02]: It is crazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Horrible.
[SPEAKER_01]: Honestly like this.
[SPEAKER_01]: This you could there's no way you can watch this scene and not end being like this is the greatest reality to use of all fucking time.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is fucking insane to have this interaction and with Jax coming up from the fucking table covered in blood It's like I just can't imagine what the producers were thinking in this moment.
[SPEAKER_01]: They were like, what the fuck?
[SPEAKER_01]: And Sheena is losing her mind.
[SPEAKER_02]: She's like, Are you kidding me?
[SPEAKER_01]: And she's trying to hit Tom.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then she starts sobbing while Ariana holds her.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like she was just given the worst news of her entire life.
[SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's incredible.
[SPEAKER_02]: Jack's is like, he's like a rabid dog.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like it's like, this is the only time that he feels something in his life.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: And he is like,
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like he also must be coked out of his mind.
[SPEAKER_02]: I imagine because the way that he's reacting is like It's like Vince Vaughn any time I've ever seen Vince Vaughn in anything.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like whoa He's like yeah, what a rush like yeah, losing his mind Christin of course is now like yelling at Jacks from across the restaurant Fuck off the fuck off the fuck off.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like oh, you shut the fuck up sweetheart.
[SPEAKER_02]: You came twice all right
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so hot, somebody's like, what, it's crazy, and she starts crying to Ariana.
[SPEAKER_01]: Then she moves because she's going to make her rounds.
[SPEAKER_01]: She starts crying to Lisa, and she's like, I just got my teeth done today, and Lisa's like, I'll stop it.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was like, they knocked me over and they were like, please just to me, I want to need to be a part of me.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Tom and Kristen just like, leave.
[SPEAKER_02]: They just leave, it's them against the world, they're gone.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Lisa, in a talking head, is like, I don't condone what Tom did to Jack's, but I understand it.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's like, okay, where was that energy for Stasi?
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: You went so hard against Stasi for slapping Kristen, but you're like, oh, I totally understand Tom hitting Jacks to the point that blood is profusely pouring out of his face.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: What is that?
[SPEAKER_01]: Stossie's held to a higher standard than any of the rest of them are, yes, which like I can already predict what Lisa's justification for this is, which is that she sees that Stossie has potential to be great that none of the rest of them have.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, which might be true, but that's still to me doesn't make up for how critical she is the level of criticism that Stossie gets in comparison to the
[SPEAKER_01]: zero amount of criticism that Jackson Thompson of all seem to get yeah it's crazy and
[SPEAKER_02]: Lisa is giving ice to Jack so that he can like ice his face and she's like that was insane Like whatever and Jack was like, I don't regret it.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't regret it.
[SPEAKER_02]: The only thing I regret is not getting a punch in and Lisa's like, okay You're an asshole like just take the ice by and like leaves And Jack's in a talking head says There's no coming back from sleeping with Kristen and I'm okay with that
[SPEAKER_01]: He's incredible.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the whole episode is starting to wrap up here.
[SPEAKER_01]: Stasi is like, you know, when are good people going to end up on top?
[SPEAKER_01]: It feels like a huge chapter of my life has come to an end.
[SPEAKER_01]: My learning is just that I'm never going to put up with anyone's bullshit and lies ever again.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Lisa's like, you know, these kids have been through crazy things this year.
[SPEAKER_01]: I just hope that they can get through it and realize that their actions have consequences.
[SPEAKER_01]: and that's the end of season two.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's the end of season two.
[SPEAKER_01]: So join us next week for our season two reunion.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're gonna be recapping the recap.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we will have a super secret surprise guest here with us.
[SPEAKER_01]: Remember that we do have a phone number that you can call.
[SPEAKER_01]: We only listen to these voicemails at our reunions.
[SPEAKER_01]: The number is in the description of this episode.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you can start voting in the podcast census that happens once a season where you fill out the survey and we will give you the data.
[SPEAKER_01]: on your favorites, your least favorites, and how the listeners of this show tend to feel, yeah, about what we've just witnessed.
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_01]: Make your way.
[SPEAKER_02]: Make your way.
[SPEAKER_01]: Boy, did we witness a lot?
[SPEAKER_01]: We witnessed, we came, we saw, we conquered.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, get in there, get in there, get your eye voted sticker.
[SPEAKER_02]: Get your eye voted sticker.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We don't know, and you won't know until you vote.
[SPEAKER_01]: So vote, so vote.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can follow me at Maddie Drossbag.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you guys so much for watching and listening as always.
[SPEAKER_02]: And we will see you next week.
[SPEAKER_02]: See ya!