[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to the Greatest Parameter podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hi everybody.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so glad you're here.
[SPEAKER_00]: Today we are talking about a really important podcast episode like you have mentioned in past week, get excited about every episode.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you might hear that a lot, but we're talking about how to build or create biblical community right where you are.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that this is such an essential topic because it's one of the most important, well, one of the most frequent questions that we get is I've tried to find mentors and I can't find them or how do I create biblical community?
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we're diving into what that looks like,
[SPEAKER_00]: as far as the practical, how to's when you have kids, which is a little different.
[SPEAKER_01]: There is a real high likelihood that regardless of where you get a church, regardless of what's going on, that you could influence creating biblical, cultivating biblical community right where you are.
[SPEAKER_01]: There are four sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Other people around you,
[SPEAKER_01]: that are starving for the same thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: And God is all powerful.
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you pray for it, and then you do these four things we're going to talk about, you likely will have success in building biblical community.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's right.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we're really excited.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to be sharing a little bit about the book, courageous parenting that's coming out tomorrow, June 3rd.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're very excited about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You guys know that we've been ramping up trying to get this done.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we're just so thrilled.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can find it on Amazon.
[SPEAKER_00]: We encourage you to go check it out.
[SPEAKER_00]: Leave us a review.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so important the first day in June 3rd that there's maximum sales so if you could purchase that leave a review that'd be amazing Also the first week is really important.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you know, it's not on June 3rd.
[SPEAKER_01]: Still purchase it in the first 30 days matters a lot Regardless, you might be listening to the two years down the road.
[SPEAKER_01]: The courageous parenting book is super helpful for the issues of today vividly grounded 31 things marriage challenges
[SPEAKER_01]: and it's an incredible book to use with other parents in a group too.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we hope you enjoy the show and appreciate your support.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I think this is going to be a really helpful discussion.
[SPEAKER_01]: We get this question so much, especially since we planted a church 18 months ago.
[SPEAKER_01]: But we've always gotten this question.
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you really build biblical community?
[SPEAKER_01]: What does that mean?
[SPEAKER_01]: What does it look like?
[SPEAKER_01]: Why do we feel like we're missing something?
[SPEAKER_01]: even though we're going to church and all these things.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so we're going to dive into read some practical real answers, actually, how I can build it right where you are.
[SPEAKER_00]: So exciting.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would say one of the most common questions that we get on a regular basis is in regards to either people creating biblical community.
[SPEAKER_00]: or the fruits of biblical community, such as trying to find a mentor, or how do I find a church that is going to value hospitality and fellowship?
[SPEAKER_00]: Things like that, those are all the fruits of biblical community.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so let's just talk briefly for a second.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just gonna, I think that if we were to have you do an exercise right now, you're to pull out a pen and a piece of paper and we said, okay, in your mind, jot down three things that you can think of or four things that would describe biblical community in your mind.
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can probably come up with us.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: How about at a very basic level people know your name?
[SPEAKER_00]: That's right.
[SPEAKER_00]: Instead of the running into a church, running out of a church, not really knowing people, right, it's really knowing one another's names.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not a church family unless there's relationships.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's right.
[SPEAKER_00]: Another one for us, when we think about biblical community, these are probably the three that we're gonna mention to you are the three that I would say are the most foundational fruits of biblical community, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: So knowing one another and then praying for people at your church and people at your church praying for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you can't do that unless you actually know each other, unless you actually, there's a level of safety, confidence, and trust in each other to actually share per request.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's right.
[SPEAKER_00]: Another one would be natural discipleship and you might be thinking, okay, what does that mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, obviously, this is Craig's parenting podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we talk a lot about home discipleship, family discipleship.
[SPEAKER_00]: But what we're talking about in this context of biblical community,
[SPEAKER_00]: is that there is discipleship actually happening in your part of it somehow, whether you're discipling someone or you're being discipled by someone.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so important.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's so much more we can talk about, but we want to get into some practical things.
[SPEAKER_01]: But we want to let's look at for a second, you know, what a strong biblical community look like now for families.
[SPEAKER_00]: that is slightly different.
[SPEAKER_01]: That is slightly different.
[SPEAKER_01]: Those things apply, but in addition, when you have children, you are looking for some extra things that are really important and really biblical community for families has everything to do with parenting.
[SPEAKER_01]: Wouldn't you agree?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's interesting.
[SPEAKER_00]: I actually want to correct myself.
[SPEAKER_00]: I said it's different.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not different.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just more complicated.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's all the things that we mentioned before, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like knowing each other's names, being able to pray for one another, being disabled or discipling people, those definitely would exist within the local community serving together would be another one that would probably be in my top four.
[SPEAKER_00]: If I was to go to the fourth
[SPEAKER_00]: But here's the thing, is when it comes to knowing your name, when it comes to having a family, it gets more complicated because it's due other people at your church know your kids' names.
[SPEAKER_00]: That would actually be a really good way to apply that first one to families, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Or do people just have this perspective, and you can tell if this perspective is underlying, they may be a subconscious thing, but that whole old additive,
[SPEAKER_00]: phrase of kids are to be seen not heard.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can tell when that has seaped into the culture of a church because people will no longer go, well, hi, what's your name to your child?
[SPEAKER_00]: They're only going to want to talk adult to adult.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so when you have a biblical community, there's going to be a value in of the kids and like, oh, are these your children?
[SPEAKER_00]: What are their names?
[SPEAKER_00]: And like wanting to know the whole family, not just the parents or the people that are your age, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like if you, let's say we went to a church
[SPEAKER_00]: and we're visiting and we got to meet a couple who had a 15-year-old and we're like, oh, we have a 15-year-old also, but what if that 15-year-old only wanted to meet our 15-year-old and didn't want to know the other eight kids that we have, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that would be somewhat selfish, so focused, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, what if there was an opportunity for children to play a game together, for example, but only the 15 and 16-year-olds wanted to play together and they didn't want to play with people older, they didn't want to play with people younger.
[SPEAKER_01]: What if just the 20-year-olds only wanted to play together?
[SPEAKER_01]: What if just the, you know, 12-year-olds only wanted to play together?
[SPEAKER_00]: or the adults only wanted to hang out with other adults and they don't value having the young adults or the teenagers around understanding that that is like a natural discipleship as we're actually mentioning, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: So so there has to be more of it, you know, one of the things when you have children, God has given you a jurisdiction to train up children in the way they should go.
[SPEAKER_01]: And there's always be discipling them, a lot of things you've heard on this podcast, if you've listened.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then how do you do that then when you're with people that are not approaching parenting the same way or even a similar way?
[SPEAKER_01]: Or maybe they're not, but they're not even hungry to learn and grow.
[SPEAKER_01]: And there's no real ability to exhort them, encourage them, help them.
[SPEAKER_01]: because nobody wants to hear it and nobody wants to hear about the parenting.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's a big challenge and that is not biblical community when those things don't exist.
[SPEAKER_01]: So like-minded, being like-minded in a more conservative approach to things, is important to a lot of you and it's important when there's real biblical community.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because as we said so many times in normal Christian rhythms of larger failing, so it really takes a more intentional approach.
[SPEAKER_01]: and actually believing that children can be corrected that children can grow stronger earlier in age.
[SPEAKER_01]: that there are ways to train them up and to have them sit still in church and all these different things, they're absolutely.
[SPEAKER_01]: So another one is echoing your efforts.
[SPEAKER_01]: You wanna be around people, let's just be honest, that are echoing the efforts you're already taking place.
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't mean everybody's in the same place, but at least they're receptive to learning and growing in biblical parenting.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's one example that I think of when it comes to like-minded in more conservative ways that would also apply to echoing your efforts.
[SPEAKER_00]: So as a parent, maybe you have a standard for not watching certain types of shows or listening to certain types of music or consuming certain types of media in regards to having a more modest and preserving innocence and protecting purity kind of perspective.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like as parents, we know that we're called to protect our children's.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, protect their children's minds, hard souls, and to protect them physically.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so when it comes to what they're exposed to, you're going to have different kinds of boundaries.
[SPEAKER_00]: And there are always going to be people more conservative or more liberal than you are, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: That's true.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a disputable issue.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not something to divide over.
[SPEAKER_00]: However,
[SPEAKER_00]: When we're talking about biblical community and Christians who are calling themselves Christians, there is actually a standard that you then are going to be judged by.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm using biblical phrase here so don't shoot the messenger.
[SPEAKER_00]: Paul even says in first Corinthians who are you to judge outside the church aren't you to judge inside the church?
[SPEAKER_00]: literally putting it on the backs of the believers to judge for themselves are their Christians that are calling themselves Christians sitting at your table who are in deliberate sin and they're not repentant.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's dangerous for our children to be around.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's difficult to have biblical community.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you don't have some similar standards, they don't have to be all identical.
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you're not all having the heart posture if I wanna grow, I wanna be better.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can always be growing.
[SPEAKER_00]: like imagine if you had a biblical community where everybody had that heart perspective.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to grow.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can always grow.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then when there's a chance for there to be, like let's say a child says something because they were exposed to a song.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that song had a phrase in it that is offensive or it has crude joking or maybe a kid has been around an uncle or been listening to his TV show where there's
[SPEAKER_00]: crew joking that's happening and it's not healthy for the family and so then they start saying those things to other kids like at a small group for example right and then maybe you don't hear about it while at the small group by the way there's a little like tip on the side we talk about stuff like this in the new courageous parenting book that's coming out tomorrow.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, but one of the things that we always taught our kids was, please tell us in real time.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like right away, if there's something that is a serious thing like a kid uses a cussword, or someone is angry at somebody else, or if there's a physical altercation of any kind, like you need to tell us immediately so that we can deal with it in real time with the parents right then and there.
[SPEAKER_00]: None of this get in the car and then an hour later or maybe the next day they say, oh, by the way, this happened and you're like, great.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I have to go and meet with that parent and then some, he said versus she said, and it's like a potential conflict, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Biblical communities should be able to bring those things to the light immediately, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a difference between the mentality of kids will be kids and I'm open to growing as a parent.
[SPEAKER_01]: those are contradictory to each other.
[SPEAKER_01]: One is just like, this is the way it is.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's nothing I can do.
[SPEAKER_01]: And one is, I mean, it's my job.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're all in perfect.
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's my job to grow.
[SPEAKER_01]: How can I try and help my child out of this?
[SPEAKER_01]: No matter what their age is.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's what you're supposed to do.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what you want to be around.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I think that sometimes parents, they're afraid of not being accepted within a community that they want to be a part of if their kids behave a certain way.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so then they're like scared to have that thing be exposed because they're afraid that they're going to be potentially not as welcomed or whatever, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just thinking about church communities.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: I do believe that there's this need for all Christians to have long suffering.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to talk more about that in a little bit, but being able to discuss and recognize and say, hey, all kids are sinners.
[SPEAKER_00]: My kids sin too at times, and nobody is expecting perfection, but we do need to talk to you about this because this shouldn't happen, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Or your child needs to recognize this.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is an opportunity for you to
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, we're going to pause for a moment.
[SPEAKER_01]: The cradish parenting book is out on June 3rd.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's tomorrow if you're listening to when this episode comes out.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's right.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're so excited.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just want to share briefly what is in here, which makes this book so unique.
[SPEAKER_00]: At the end of every chapter, because there's 31 topics that are relevant to parenting today.
[SPEAKER_00]: At the end of every chapter, there's a cradish parenting challenge, as well as cradish parenting questions.
[SPEAKER_00]: The challenge helps you to implement what you just read.
[SPEAKER_00]: The parenting questions help you to audit your parenting.
[SPEAKER_00]: Some of the chapters also have questions for you to ask your kids so that you can teach them why you're parenting the way you are, and there's prayers as well as podcast episodes that further teach on that subject.
[SPEAKER_00]: After every seven chapters ish, there's also a marriage challenge, so there's four date night prompts that will help you to parent an alignment with your spouse.
[SPEAKER_01]: They have local parenting and I'm pressin' at times.
[SPEAKER_01]: Get out on Amazon.
[SPEAKER_01]: It helps the algorithms when you buy in the first day, first week, and first month.
[SPEAKER_01]: So please purchase the book and give a review to after you've read a little bit.
[SPEAKER_01]: That really helps get it out there to impact so many more people.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're so thrilled for you to have this and can't wait to hear what you think.
[SPEAKER_00]: actually discipline and disciple them towards Jesus in their need for him and them understanding that what they did was sin.
[SPEAKER_01]: How neat is it when people just start opening up and go, how do you how do you do that or how do you do this versus saying oh my kids are just different than your kids your kids must have been born that way.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, and just really having, I think it is just, and not a comparison, not a leadist attitude, but a helpful.
[SPEAKER_01]: Everybody helping one another and understanding we're all in different places, we all have different strengths and weaknesses, we have different personalities, got made us all different, but we can all grow and mature, we can all raise our families and equip our families.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's more needed today than ever.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's where we wrote the book, Great Just Branching, as a resource to help with all this, that's so important.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, you know, you want that.
[SPEAKER_01]: A couple of other things, and we'll get into it, age-integrated relationships.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so important to have in a biblical community,
[SPEAKER_01]: where older people are speaking into the younger people, I'm so thankful for all the men and women that have spoken to my children's lives and taught them skills and encouraged them and validated their maturity and growth and helped them.
[SPEAKER_01]: It has been incredible to see that over the last especially 10 years and it's really been a difference maker.
[SPEAKER_01]: Natural discipleship happening that are outside of programs that are really heartfelt and intentional and equipping to us, to our children and us being able to do that to other people.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's so important to speak to other on like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Help, go ahead.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was just gonna say one other aspect that a lot of people I think look for when they think of biblical community and they want their kids to experience and grow in is a servant-hearted attitude in helping each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know that for us that was a big thing that we didn't want our kids to just grow up building their own kingdom and not being eternity-minded, not understanding that there's a value in relationships of actually helping one another.
[SPEAKER_00]: and working together as a team, these things have been incredibly important to us and it's pretty evident through the fruit in our kids' lives and their relationships and I mean there was just a couple that moved a couple days ago and two of our kids went over to help them move and they've helped so many people move and that's just like a practical example right that they always have these willing hearts if they're available they'll go and they show up and
[SPEAKER_00]: It's gives them the opportunity to contribute and we've talked about that so many times that kids all need to feel needed.
[SPEAKER_00]: They all need that opportunity to be a part of the body of Christ.
[SPEAKER_00]: That is biblical community.
[SPEAKER_00]: When children of all ages are allowed and invited,
[SPEAKER_00]: to be a active participant in the body of Christ.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's biblical community.
[SPEAKER_00]: And helping each other is just part of it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Colossians 312 says, put on then as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing with one another.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you,
[SPEAKER_00]: So you also must forgive.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then it continues in verse 14 and above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony This whole passage is really powerful because it talks about the word of Christ dwelling in us richly teaching and a Monishing one another and all wisdom and
[SPEAKER_00]: singing songs like all of this is actually descriptive of what biblical community is, and for our kids to learn and be a part of it means that there are going to be times when they're going to be exorted or admonished by you, but maybe by friends, by other strong Christians, and
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, while we're talking about this, you're still sitting there going, but how do I create that?
[SPEAKER_00]: You said that I could build it in my own community.
[SPEAKER_00]: How do I create an encouraging environment for my kids to be disipold up and where they're not feeling like the Sam and Swim and upstream, but they're running the race with other people who are also intentionally pursuing Christ.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you guys are probably wondering, how do I do this?
[SPEAKER_01]: How do I build biblical community right where I'm at?
[SPEAKER_01]: Or do I need to move?
[SPEAKER_01]: You might need to, but the first step is always, how can I do it right where I'm at?
[SPEAKER_01]: Right in the church mat?
[SPEAKER_01]: Well Isaac, there's no teaching on biblical parenting in my church.
[SPEAKER_01]: Join the club.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't a very few churches actually have the bandwidth.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now being a pastor,
[SPEAKER_01]: I understand some things in a deeper level of a pastor relatedness, which is it's very hard.
[SPEAKER_01]: Every time you start another program, it's another thing to manage and lead and you have to find capable.
[SPEAKER_01]: Leaders that are going to do it well.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to vet it out.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to make sure they have failed their life.
[SPEAKER_01]: Fruit in their life.
[SPEAKER_01]: And frankly, it's hard to find families willing to have fruit in their lives that have done it well.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it's a really hard thing on the parenting front.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I understand that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've sympathy for that across the churches.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I do think it's very much needed and it's very very important.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's where craged parenting has been
[SPEAKER_01]: trying to fill the gap and actually filling the gap for a lot of churches and a lot of people around the guarantee mentor program that the wonderful thing about the parenting mentor program is video based so it's really good to engage and then it's got the download and all that, but it's on the spendier side.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm so excited about this new book, Created Parenting, because for 20 bucks anybody can buy a $20 book just about.
[SPEAKER_01]: and they can now integrate this in the Judzardy Church as a lunch tomorrow, June 3rd.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I know that you'll be listening to this different times.
[SPEAKER_01]: But June 3rd, 2020, six is when courageous parenting is launching.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's two days from recording this tomorrow from when it comes out.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we're super excited because this can be really utilized because people need direction and confidence in what to do and how to facilitate something with a group of people around.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's interesting.
[SPEAKER_00]: We actually didn't write this with the perspective of doing small groups, but when we were at the teach them diligently conferences and we were I was showing people how to do this someone went, oh, so this would be easy to do with a small group and I went.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, actually because.
[SPEAKER_00]: Every chapter is pretty easy to digest.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's 31 topics that we've thought were the most relevant to parenting today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Potentially, a lot of them are some of the most controversial, actually, also, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I would even think that AI, the chapter you wrote on AI, super relevant to what parents are dealing with today.
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you navigate that as a biblical parent, talking to other people about this?
[SPEAKER_00]: This is important because the kids that your kids are hanging out with are going to start having habits that involve AI.
[SPEAKER_00]: in how they do their school work?
[SPEAKER_00]: Are they going to have integrity?
[SPEAKER_00]: What is integrity?
[SPEAKER_00]: What is the line?
[SPEAKER_00]: The fine line that you draw with your children?
[SPEAKER_00]: Does your community all believe the same thing or your kids going to be tempted by other kids in their youth group to lie, to cheat, to not even do the work and just, you know what I'm saying?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just using one of the 31 chapters that are in here where
[SPEAKER_00]: You go through that chapter and then at the end there's courageous parenting questions Which you could easily do in a small group.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a courageous parenting challenge that helps you to implement what you just talked about Then there's a list of other podcast episodes like this one that I'm looking at on page 40.
[SPEAKER_00]: It has three additional podcast episodes, which you guys know each podcast is like 45 minutes ish
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, you can either listen to one or two of them together or you could do one whole week on one chapter and like you could assign different people to watch a video and come and regurgitate that information and that could be your discussion group.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then there's prayers.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, there's also the marriage challenges which are great for date nights.
[SPEAKER_00]: You could do double dates with couples.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, there's so many potential.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm just
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm really into, from a pastor's perspective, I'm really into organic discipleship where somebody gets an idea and people get together and are learning together.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think there's an affinity there of relational connection that's natural versus contract.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's really powerful.
[SPEAKER_01]: So let's go into how to do this a little bit more.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we have four keys for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you don't have to be all of it, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to know all the things to do the resources here Created parenting the book, but you do have to be what you want you have to be moving in a direction of what you want for biblical community And that would mean a few things that would mean that you're doing hospitality You're trying to get to know people in your home.
[SPEAKER_01]: I really believe we really believe
[SPEAKER_00]: Is there a more biblical way to do healthcare that's more effective than insurance and saves you money?
[SPEAKER_00]: For the last six years, we've experienced a resounding yes by joining Samaritan Ministries healthcare sharing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I've even switched to the recently launched Redeem Health Share Ministry.
[SPEAKER_00]: In the past, we paid more monthly for health insurance and extra medical bills than we do now with a bigger family.
[SPEAKER_00]: With Redeem, we love the efficient way our medical burdens are handled and the seamless digital dashboard to manage our membership.
[SPEAKER_00]: This trusted Christian organization has been around for over 30 years and we love being a part of the difference they make to redeem health sharing in our culture.
[SPEAKER_00]: Learn more at redeemhealthshare.org or click on the link in our show notes.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's redeemhealthshare.org.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's rare when a homeschool curriculum works for all different personalities, but when it does, it makes homeschooling children so much easier.
[SPEAKER_00]: In my home, everyone is wired so differently, and for the first time ever, everyone loves and is excelling in math.
[SPEAKER_00]: A year ago, I switched all of my children 10 to 17 to CTC math.
[SPEAKER_00]: The online interface and the way it works makes it easy for everyone to excel and makes progress so much faster.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love them so much we asked them to sponsor this show.
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you ready to take stress out of math?
[SPEAKER_00]: Visit ctcmath.com and start your free trial today.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's ctcmath, the online curriculum that works for everyone.
[SPEAKER_01]: the hospitality is what the Bible says to be doing.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's more important than small groups.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's more important than any discipleship program.
[SPEAKER_01]: That is where all ages families together can be and bringing single people into and all kinds of grandparents can get together
[SPEAKER_01]: And really break bread together and discuss and pull out the Bible and worship together and pray together I mean it can be so fruitful if it's intentional like that and so you got to be what you want Which includes also being strong Being courageous going against your comfort zone if you want to build biblical community right where you are You have to develop some courage and strength to be able to do that
[SPEAKER_00]: I think one of the things that I've learned a lot over the years is that there's certain arts, if you will, like hospitality, I do believe there was an art to hospitality that used to exist one day and it was passed down from one generation to another.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a way of being, to be hospitable, to be kind, to be inviting, even just how you greet people, how you meet people,
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know that that's something that I've wanted from my kids that they would be able to look at people in the eye, she can get to be good conversationalists, make people feel welcome.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that that might be one reason why the young adult like group and teen group is growing so rapidly at our church, is because it's largely been led by a lot of the Tulping kids, you know, because they were the first ones at the church.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so if they were closed off
[SPEAKER_00]: to invite people to play a game after Potluck or sit and have fellowship with them and talk at a table while eating.
[SPEAKER_00]: That wouldn't even exist.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you guys might be surprised to hear like I was just looking at this massive group of teens and young adults and they were even children sitting with them because they're all age integrated.
[SPEAKER_00]: There was probably like
[SPEAKER_00]: 60, 50 of them all sitting, they weren't even sitting at the tables, the pilot tables, they were sitting in the chairs, all in a huge circle, did you see that yesterday?
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a massive circle, I think in the circle there was like 30, and that was after like another 20-hitterty left.
[SPEAKER_00]: this is like two hours after church and they're sitting there and they're talking and I mean my zander is sitting next to a 17-year-old brother who's sitting next to a bunch of the young adults that are in their 20s and also some of the 10-year-olds and Solomon's there and I just I'm looking at this they're all laughing talking eating together and
[SPEAKER_00]: It was, it was just genuine, it was wholesome, can I say it was wholesome, wholesome?
[SPEAKER_00]: There was nothing that I had to worry about being said in that group that I would then have to go and correct with my four-year-old.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know that that's something that a lot of parents are like, what?
[SPEAKER_00]: You could trust that with your, yes, because I do, because I know a lot of these kids because they've been in our home many times.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I hear from my kids and I know that my kids have a standard of who they're going
[SPEAKER_00]: that they're leading in that situation, that they're taking their younger brother under their arm.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that starts first and foremost in the culture of your home.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like if you're 17-year-old isn't willing to hang out with your four-year-old, then like you might even be scared to ask him because you know you're going to get it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have to kind of an attitude.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that's not what I got from him.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not what I get from the boys.
[SPEAKER_00]: They go, no, I can take him to the bathroom.
[SPEAKER_00]: Mom, no, mom, I can do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: But that is because that's part of our family culture.
[SPEAKER_00]: So when Isaac's saying, be what you want in community, it's like look at your family culture first.
[SPEAKER_00]: You need to have a strong family culture.
[SPEAKER_00]: you can't expect to like be leading hospitality in a church if that's not been a part of your family culture.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's just another pure example of that, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And so focus on growing and then inviting other families that maybe your closest to to join you in this effort to be more
[SPEAKER_01]: And what a perfect opportunity is to go through the courageous parenting book together, read a chapter, come together, discuss it and use the discussion questions and have fellowship and somebody knows how to play guitar.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe someone can sing a couple songs.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, it's just a beautiful thing because really you are the lid.
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you want biblical community, you have to grow.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to get uncomfortable.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to be courageous and kind of step out of maybe where maybe part of the reason there's not biblical community.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't expect your church necessarily to create that, let's say, so now how do you create that within the church?
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you start that with six families, you know, or three families?
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the question.
[SPEAKER_01]: Instead of looking outward for other people to do things,
[SPEAKER_01]: We just need to be biblical and do things how the Bible lay things out to do.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what they were doing in the early church.
[SPEAKER_01]: They were gathering together, breaking bread, worshiping the Lord, praying together, in each other's lives, helping each other.
[SPEAKER_01]: Iron sharpens iron, you Isaac.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is a different world today.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but the Bible is the same.
[SPEAKER_01]: Humans are the same.
[SPEAKER_01]: We need to lose some of the trappings of the world, and we need to dig in and be more biblical and be the examples and invite people into that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Second thing is, you have to be able to discuss hard topics.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's really hard sometimes in relationships to be the originator of a hard topic, but when you have a resource that has all the
[SPEAKER_01]: That's where you can really get some good discussion out that doesn't create relationship tears.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I understand that.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's interesting when you say that because I'm like looking through the table contents of the book, Craig Spiritene, that's about to launch.
[SPEAKER_00]: And just listen to some of the titles here, sewing, reaping, and biblical discipline.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would say that you're laughing because that is one of the topics, I would say it's probably the main topic that would divide people from being able to be within biblical community, meaning when it comes to families.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, we talked about what biblical community can look like and partially.
[SPEAKER_00]: We didn't even really get into that in a huge sense.
[SPEAKER_00]: That was just like our three top things that was what biblical community is.
[SPEAKER_00]: But there is a reality that when you have families, there's this need for parents to be purposefully discipling and disciplining their children because that's what the Bible says without that element.
[SPEAKER_00]: then that family is actually not biblically obeying God.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then the fruit in the children is going to be completely different than the fruit in the family in a child in a family where they are being biblically disciplined and biblically disabled.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's just two night and day things.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so if they want to be a part of the same biblical community and they want to be in like-minded fellowship, what needs to happen is what?
[SPEAKER_00]: That they come together in biblical truth, not in one band's opinion.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not in, oh, well, this happened to me when I was a kid.
[SPEAKER_00]: Therefore, I don't do this and I subscribe to this parenting philosophy.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, no.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're a Christian and you're a part of a church, you're going to submit to God's Word.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, ultimately, when it comes to establishing strong, like-minded community, if everybody agrees with that main thing, you're going to be way better off.
[SPEAKER_00]: When you're willing to set aside past experiences, mistakes you've made, maybe your own childhood,
[SPEAKER_00]: like, and you just want to learn what God's word has to say, because you're a Christian, it changes literally everything.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it makes it easier to talk about the heart topics.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so when you have a book like this that's like, okay, let's talk about sewing, repeating biblical discipline, worth throwing it under the bus when maybe some people are in what they think is like my did community or their own community with people, but they want to go deeper and they don't know how.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, okay, let's read this book together.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, Isaac and Angie are bringing in some really tough topics, like what about cultivating a teachable heart?
[SPEAKER_00]: That's going to be a ping point.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's literally going to like poke and pin the parents, where their kids are sassy, disrespectful, they don't have a teachable heart towards their parents and other parents can see it.
[SPEAKER_00]: because the meant they say, oh no, we're not doing that at our house.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have an open door policy.
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't close doors in this house.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they're like, well, I don't care.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to close it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, have you ever heard a kid talk to you that way?
[SPEAKER_00]: I have had a child talk to me that way.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm literally, I could think two different thoughts.
[SPEAKER_00]: I could think I'm never having this kid over again because they're disrespectful to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then how disrespectful are to they to their parents?
[SPEAKER_00]: And then how is that heart attitude?
[SPEAKER_00]: That spirit of pride going to influence my children?
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, no, they're not going to be spending time with them or I could think, okay, this child's not been trained up in the way they should go.
[SPEAKER_00]: I need to have long suffering with this family and see if they have a teachable heart to be wanting to grow in this because that child is in sin and I care about them.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love them because they're a younger sister or a brother in Christ.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's laid out in a way that's very easy to read and very, you know, warm and encouraging.
[SPEAKER_01]: With biblical truth and so forth, but it stirs up those right conversations, which is really important.
[SPEAKER_01]: What are the other hard topics?
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'm sure you're thinking of some and one of them, you know, one thing is going to be really hard is if your marriage is in a line.
[SPEAKER_01]: And a lot of I think a lot of marriages think they are aligned mostly in parenting and some don't, and they know that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that when you really comes down to biblical parenting, if you go through these 31 topics, you're going to start to realize there might be some areas you've never discussed before that are important for unprecedented times.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's some areas that maybe haven't been thought of by one of the spouses and now the one has been thinking about it, so they have a conservative take on it, the other one hasn't really done some thoughtfulness prayer on it, biblical research.
[SPEAKER_01]: This book kind of lays it out there, so it also is helping your marriage to get aligned at the same time.
[SPEAKER_01]: Which is so important because how can you discuss hard topics if there's not solid derity and in your marriage?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and I can even imagine two couples sitting at a table on a double date, and one couple starts talking to the other couple about a specific topic.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's just pull out education, for example, because there's one chapter on education in the book, and I could just imagine one of the couples not being in marriage alignment, and the other one being in marriage alignment, and having a strong biblical stance on the why they're doing what they're doing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then having this dialogue, it would become immediately apparent that there was not unity based upon how the couple would respond, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because if one says one thing and the other says the opposite, there's like automatic disunity, just right there in front of your face and that makes it difficult, but here's the deal.
[SPEAKER_00]: Biblical community doesn't run away from the disunity.
[SPEAKER_00]: Biblical community is being willing to be forbearing and long-suffering with that couple and wanting them to grow together in unity, not necessarily unity with you, but at least at the forefront unity with God, God's Word, His will, and together that they would have a stronger marriage because it's important for their children that their parents are aligned and whatever the decision is,
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's super important that we recognize when it comes to building and creating community, it's not that you're trying to get everybody to be like you.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's that you're trying to disciple people to see that God should be a part of everything.
[SPEAKER_00]: and that his word is the guidebook.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that there are all these topics that maybe you can't look up and go, okay, scripture on social media, it's not, you wouldn't find any, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, social media is not named in the Bible, but guess what?
[SPEAKER_00]: There is tons of scripture that applies to how to handle social media.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so how awesome that we can have a chapter on navigating social media with your kids,
[SPEAKER_00]: and media and have a bunch of scripture in it for couples then to dialogue and discuss the pros and cons but have like oh actually the Bible says this okay I can't reconcile what I thought before because the Bible says this I can't ignore that right and so it the Bible with Christians who love God's Word it will bring them closer together with people who do not believe in God's
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think people are waking up more than ever the inside that there's, you know, there's something more I need to do as a parent, you know, what I'm seeing around me isn't working.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, the world's changing, there are some threats out there, although we're never to parent and fear.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're not to operate and fear at all, but you can make one decision and fear, and another person can make that exact same decision and biblical wisdom, and outcomes will be very different because all the decisions afterwards will be in communication, will be totally different.
[SPEAKER_01]: If once in confidence in God and wisdom in God,
[SPEAKER_01]: and walk as strong with God, they're going to communicate with their kids and their spouse and everything in a much different way than the fearful parent that's not trusting God actually because fear is the opposite of trust and so it's really important that we're making these decisions not in fear but in trusting God and faith in God but still making conservative and good wise choices.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so in the third key is family's really need biblical direction and guidance more than ever.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think people are actually starting for it.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a perfect time right now.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just there hasn't been a resource that is up to speed with the massive acceleration of change that's happening in society.
[SPEAKER_01]: These are unprecedented times for parents.
[SPEAKER_01]: We talked about them the first chapter of the book.
[SPEAKER_01]: and prove it, and especially for parents they are, and so it's we have to make proactive decisions earlier than they're needed and younger than they're needed.
[SPEAKER_01]: We have to talk about uncomfortable conversations with our children in a younger age than ever before.
[SPEAKER_01]: We have to be the first to address things so when it hits them, because the bad things will hit your kids at some point in their life, when it hits them, they already know how to respond.
[SPEAKER_01]: They've already been trained on that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, you have to do it younger than ever before.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, really getting that biblical knowledge relevant to the issues today in a concise, packaged form in a way with the discussion questions to discuss it amongst the brethren is so needed and so powerful right now.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, we're already seeing this 320 people that got the book early at their teaching diligently conferences.
[SPEAKER_01]: They bought them for 20 bucks and we're getting review after review after review.
[SPEAKER_01]: Father review and I love it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to share it today on social media and follow our channels.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that there's this need for us.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, again, we've already talked about this efficiency of scripture and how God's word is what we need for everything.
[SPEAKER_00]: We really don't need anything but this, but depending on where you are in your spiritual walk, you need guidance to navigate God's word, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And Bible says in Titus 2 that the older men and older women are to train the younger men and younger women.
[SPEAKER_00]: and specifically the women are to train them and how to love their husbands and children, to be pure, to be self-controlled, working at home, or busy at home, is another translation.
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's this need for us to recognize that there are commands.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, do you don't want to be sex?
[SPEAKER_00]: You guys probably know that, to train your children, to teach them God's commands when you sit, when you rise, when you lie, when you wake, literally all the time.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's this call to discipleship.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ephesians chapter six, it starts out with children obey your parents in the Lord, then you go to verse four, fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, and then you get to verse 10, and it's this huge segment of spiritual warfare, putting on the armor of God, that's something we as parents need to teach our kids that we are in a spiritual battle.
[SPEAKER_00]: We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities in the high places, we wrestle with our own temptation to sin.
[SPEAKER_00]: Your children wrestle with their temptation to sin.
[SPEAKER_00]: No
[SPEAKER_00]: When you're operating with that kind of reality in biblical community, you don't take offense to when someone says, hey, your kid did this.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're like, oh, I'm so sorry to hear that, okay, we will talk to them, let's go get them right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: And like, there's this, thank you for telling me, what does the Bible say in Proverbs over and over again, that a foolish man will not receive rebuke?
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, I don't want to be foolish people who are Christians who know what the Bible says should No, should want to be rebuked if they're doing something wrong, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because walking down a wrong path and not on God's path is gonna reap danger, not fruitfulness.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so when our kids are walking on the wrong path, we likewise want should want to know about it because we want them on the right path.
[SPEAKER_00]: So when there's this like community of people who are all about the good of your children, the good of their children, and you're like, roasting a glass is off.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, we get it.
[SPEAKER_00]: We just need some guidance in how to apply these different scriptures that we're learning.
[SPEAKER_00]: to the very practical issues of today, regarding parenting, it can be really encouraging, but also it's like a foundation to be building on.
[SPEAKER_00]: Of like, okay, well, let's over and over again, what you're going to see is in every single chapter, there is scripture, and every single chapter there is a call for you to be introspective in self-examining.
[SPEAKER_00]: How are you doing as a parent?
[SPEAKER_00]: How is your relationship with your child?
[SPEAKER_00]: That causes you to do not it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that word, we've used it for so many years where it's like, you need to audit your relationship and be honest because if you don't, you're not going to notice that there's room for growth or need for growth in a specific thing, that should motivate you towards change, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And then there's prayers.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's like, you're constantly going back to God's word in what that does all through all 31 chapters, you're exercising that muscle of going back to God's word.
[SPEAKER_00]: What does God's word say?
[SPEAKER_00]: So then when another topic comes up that's not in here,
[SPEAKER_00]: Lord willing, you go to God's work.
[SPEAKER_01]: Amen.
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, how many friends do you have from high school still?
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's probably low or none.
[SPEAKER_01]: Some of you are really rare and you all grew in maturity and kind of the same biblical direction and so you're still friends, maybe.
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's really rare.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's really rare.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I bring that to wake your mind to the fact that as you grow, reading the cradied parenting book and you're already on this kind of intentional parenting path.
[SPEAKER_01]: and it helps you hone in some things, helps your marriage get aligned and so forth.
[SPEAKER_01]: You might start inadvertently creating some distance between you and your other friends that are not growing that same direction.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so take people with you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Take people on the journey with your tribe team.
[SPEAKER_00]: Take might walk away, but that's on them.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then you're starting to tell what's gonna have all seasons alive.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is very important for it.
[SPEAKER_01]: In fact, you could group up with people with kids of different ages.
[SPEAKER_01]: A lot of times I think we tend to be with kids in the same ages because when our kids have friends that makes sense, but it is good for all seasons of life and so I encourage you to do that.
[SPEAKER_01]: The fourth final tip is to have long suffering, forbearance and not keeping a record of wrongs, is so important as you're looking for biblical community and trying to cultivate biblical communities.
[SPEAKER_01]: We safe and it needs to be accepting.
[SPEAKER_01]: with an expectation that everybody's growing, those need to go together.
[SPEAKER_00]: I do think, yeah, they do go together because we're talking about our kids, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And we don't want to sacrifice our children on the ministry of altar that would not be biblical.
[SPEAKER_00]: The altar of ministry, yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because they are our first ministry.
[SPEAKER_00]: And anything that you're doing if you're doing it publicly, it should just enhance the other ministries that you're already doing, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think that those are important things to just keep on your own radar, spiritual thermometer as I like to call it, like keep your thumb on that.
[SPEAKER_00]: But at the same time, recognizing that God calls us to be long-suffering and a lot of people don't know what that means.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have done a word study on that in blueletterbibel.org because I love word studies.
[SPEAKER_00]: And the word long-suffering and similarly forbearance also means the same kind of thing which is to carry one another's burdens But long-suffering is long and suffering, meaning not short like you're gonna have patients and perseverance and And endurance with the the relationship and carrying that load
[SPEAKER_00]: As they're walking through suffering, you're helping carry that for a long period of time with them.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that people get weary, or they just see the load when they first meet somebody, and they're not willing to step in and carry with them.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I get that, I get that there can be a fear, especially if you've not ever really, if you haven't really known the person and you're meeting them and all of a sudden, like, right off the bat, there's just problems, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And but I do think that as Christians, if they are believers in God, if they confess and believe in Jesus Christ and they're saved like God has put them in our life for a reason and what is that reason?
[SPEAKER_00]: What is he called you to?
[SPEAKER_00]: That might require some very careful thought as far as what you can commit to.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would recommend prayer and fasting if it's really severe situations.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm saying long suffering because a lot of times when you're building community find a couple in it.
[SPEAKER_00]: First, you're like, oh, this is so great.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then the honeymoon period kind of goes away and you've known them maybe six weeks and you're like, they're not really who I thought they said they were.
[SPEAKER_00]: This person just doesn't actually seem very biblically deep or maybe they've been kind of putting up a front at first, which, you know, and it's actually the more you get to know them the more you start to realize there's some fakeness that's there or it's not actually what they've been portraying and here's the deals that God calls us to long suffering and forbearance, but that does not mean that you don't speak up.
[SPEAKER_00]: Forbearance and long suffering doesn't mean that you withhold admonishing someone in sin.
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't mean that you withhold exerting them.
[SPEAKER_00]: You are still called and commanded by God to exhort everyone daily.
[SPEAKER_00]: Exort one another daily as the day draws near.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that is the whole point is that we would actually be moving towards growth always.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, in those situations, it's like, yes, you do need a build relationship, you need to show that there's loving kindness and gentleness and humility.
[SPEAKER_00]: All of the things, if I was to read First Corinthians 13, it just briefly says, talks about, like, you could have all kinds of other gifts, but if you don't have love, you're nothing.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's verse two.
[SPEAKER_00]: It says, if I give away all I have, and I deliver up my body to be burned, but I have not love.
[SPEAKER_00]: I gain nothing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love is patient and kind.
[SPEAKER_00]: It does not envy or boast.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is not arrogant or rude.
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't insist on its own way.
[SPEAKER_00]: It isn't irritable or resentful.
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't rejoice at wrong doing but rejoices with the truth.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love never ends.
[SPEAKER_00]: Another translation talks about bearing all things is the long suffering, the four variants.
[SPEAKER_00]: And
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of people in today's society are not willing to walk through hard things with people for very long.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's one reason why women who are in postpartum depression suffer and isolation for so long is that if people do reach out to them, they're not willing to walk through it for a year with them, and that's sad to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that the church needs to rise up and it cannot just be the pastor in the pastor's wife.
[SPEAKER_00]: The body of Christ is many members and we are all called to do different things.
[SPEAKER_00]: We buy nature of the fact that we have 24 hours in a day cannot be everybody's bestie.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not what God calls us too.
[SPEAKER_00]: He calls us to our marriage, our children, and our jurisdictions in proximity, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And the same is true for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you do need to set healthy boundaries with some people, but you also need to be willing to be stretched out of your comfort zone and have long suffering and be willing to speak truth and love.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if they don't receive it, that's not on you.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's you.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to walk one thing that I have taught myself and I've preached myself over and over again because I have struggled with being a people pleaser and there are so many times where I
[SPEAKER_00]: I will be scared to say something to someone to like correct them in the moment when they say something, and but yet what they say is just so worldly or whatever, whether it's how they view children or motherhood or whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of times I just I bite my tongue and I have long suffering with them, because I'm like, they don't get it.
[SPEAKER_00]: They don't understand and that's okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: and they're in a different spot spiritually.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you have to be willing to be in the relationship long enough to see where they're at spiritually before you start any review or admonishment that takes long suffering, that takes patience to get to know a person, to be able to invest in them.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just think that for myself, I have also learned that at the end of the day, I have to be true to God's word period.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's about living with a clear conscience.
[SPEAKER_00]: We all pursued all of our relationships with wanting to live with a clear conscience.
[SPEAKER_00]: We wouldn't let things just sit and sit on the table unforgiven, unspoken about or sweep them under a rug.
[SPEAKER_00]: We would do what them and have a short list, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: If we were walking with a clear conscience,
[SPEAKER_00]: we would speak up and correct someone who says something that's completely biblically inaccurate or anti-bebical in front of a group of people.
[SPEAKER_00]: We'd be willing to just be that brave soul that says, I actually disagree and I'm sorry, I'm sorry that you feel that way, but the biblical way we should look at this is x, y, and z.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that
[SPEAKER_00]: When we're building community, that can be the scariest part, but it requires us to like, I think that the best, if you have to do a correction like that, my encouragement is that you follow up with the person that you had to correct, that you pursue that relationship so that they know that you love them so, that they're not like oust, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's that you're doing both, that you have long suffering, but you're also willing to correct in time.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think humility goes a long ways.
[SPEAKER_01]: We need to be humble.
[SPEAKER_01]: We need to not think we're better than we need to be encouraging of people.
[SPEAKER_01]: We need to be hopeful.
[SPEAKER_01]: We need to see what's possible with God can do in people's lives at the same time never sacrificing our children in the sake of ministry and other relationships.
[SPEAKER_01]: Not at all.
[SPEAKER_01]: I find that when you're intentional,
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't actually have to, and you can still love other people well, but it is a balance.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, it really only works if other people are humble and willing to grow even if they're in different places.
[SPEAKER_01]: And if that's the case, it can be beautiful.
[SPEAKER_01]: If it's not the case, they'll probably exit anyways.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's sad.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's too bad.
[SPEAKER_01]: But you're not going to sacrifice your kids for the sake of relationships in the end of the day.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's way too much of that in normal Christian parenting, normal Christian ministry,
[SPEAKER_01]: you know, the pastor kid syndrome, all the different issues that you're seeing out there with you know, anyways.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's it's important.
[SPEAKER_01]: So these four keys can be really helpful be what you want.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to be able to discuss hard topics that requires marriage alignment.
[SPEAKER_01]: We talked about that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Families need biblical direction and guidance more than ever.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's unprecedented times for parents and so this is really important and we got to have long suffering.
[SPEAKER_01]: you know we've got to not keep a record of wrongs we got to see the potential and have hope and build relationships and help take people to new places with their families so their legacies are impacted because it's not just about the parents kids they're parenting today it's about their whole legacies so legacy of fruitfulness and godliness can impact the world it starts in the home and you could be a change agent for that by creating biblical community
[SPEAKER_01]: Right where you are and so we encourage you to get the book June 3rd at launches if you This is your after we go buy it on Amazon Amazon is up only place you can buy it right now When it launches and we would covet your prayers and appreciate a great review of the book
[SPEAKER_01]: Once you've read a little bit and sharing on social media if that's your thing all the things help get this out there We believe this is an instrumental resource that is going to help thousands upon thousands upon thousands of families around the world So we're super encouraged by you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thanks for listening to show and we look forward to what's had