WEBVTT 00:00.587 --> 00:10.731 [SPEAKER_00]: grateful believer in Jesus, and I am in recovery because of alcohol and drug addiction, and I am currently working on codependency and approval issues. 00:11.591 --> 00:13.112 [SPEAKER_00]: The landing is dismissed. 00:13.132 --> 00:16.333 [SPEAKER_00]: They're going to have a fun night of dictionary back in the back tonight. 00:17.313 --> 00:18.034 [SPEAKER_00]: Y'all have fun. 00:18.054 --> 00:24.176 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, before we get started tonight, I want to ask y'all to do something for me. 00:30.635 --> 00:48.324 [SPEAKER_00]: What I want you to do is think back and some of us is going to take much longer than others to your very first memory, very first one and write it now, you got like three and a half seconds. 01:01.094 --> 01:02.375 [SPEAKER_00]: Very first memory. 01:08.180 --> 01:08.520 [SPEAKER_00]: All right. 01:10.521 --> 01:13.183 [SPEAKER_00]: So I ask you, was that a good memory? 01:15.505 --> 01:16.466 [SPEAKER_00]: Was it a bad memory? 01:21.089 --> 01:22.591 [SPEAKER_00]: Memories, man. 01:22.631 --> 01:24.272 [SPEAKER_00]: They something aren't they strange? 01:25.323 --> 01:27.485 [SPEAKER_00]: See, my first memory was a bad memory as well. 01:28.186 --> 01:30.568 [SPEAKER_00]: I was about two or three years old. 01:31.268 --> 01:38.054 [SPEAKER_00]: My mom was getting hollered at by my dad. 01:38.154 --> 01:46.101 [SPEAKER_00]: Two years old, I can imagine his him standing over the top of me and my mom and he screaming at us and I'm holding onto her leg. 01:47.686 --> 02:00.553 [SPEAKER_00]: My second memory that I remember is one of my dad, and my mom and dad had separated, and my dad was driving me home for the weekend, and he had had a friend over from high school. 02:02.214 --> 02:03.595 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, they had been drinking all day. 02:04.455 --> 02:15.061 [SPEAKER_00]: So on the right home, we were all over the road, running off the road, running stop signs, running red lights, and all of the things, to the point where I'm five years old, 02:20.046 --> 02:20.826 [SPEAKER_00]: Then we got home. 02:20.886 --> 02:22.447 [SPEAKER_00]: I finally, we did make it home safe. 02:22.487 --> 02:28.168 [SPEAKER_00]: And I wore my mom out about calling him to make sure that he got home safely. 02:30.428 --> 02:36.070 [SPEAKER_00]: My first good memory that I remember was about 10 or 11 years old as little league baseball. 02:36.590 --> 02:38.170 [SPEAKER_00]: It was 10 to 9. 02:38.850 --> 02:41.511 [SPEAKER_00]: There was two outs in the bottom of the sixth inning. 02:41.531 --> 02:43.111 [SPEAKER_00]: We only played six in and it was back then. 02:44.492 --> 02:46.712 [SPEAKER_00]: Three, two count. 02:47.192 --> 02:48.473 [SPEAKER_00]: My dad was a third base coach. 02:51.065 --> 02:53.167 [SPEAKER_00]: He calls me a calls time calls me over there to him. 02:53.187 --> 02:56.629 [SPEAKER_00]: He said, all right, Jeremy, listen, if you hit, we win. 02:57.530 --> 02:58.871 [SPEAKER_00]: If you walk, we tie. 02:59.431 --> 03:01.392 [SPEAKER_00]: But if you strike out, we lose. 03:03.434 --> 03:06.896 [SPEAKER_00]: So I go back to the batter's box with this on my brain. 03:07.677 --> 03:09.298 [SPEAKER_00]: And terrified to strike out. 03:09.478 --> 03:11.560 [SPEAKER_00]: And I ended up hitting the ball to the fence. 03:12.560 --> 03:19.285 [SPEAKER_00]: And as I'm rounding second base, my dad's standing there with open arms, he picks me up, walk off triple. 03:25.524 --> 03:26.725 [SPEAKER_00]: That was a little league baseball. 03:27.505 --> 03:29.026 [SPEAKER_00]: And yes, that was a long time ago. 03:29.967 --> 03:35.390 [SPEAKER_00]: But isn't it funny how even our earliest memories can shape who we are? 03:37.411 --> 03:38.291 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, think about it. 03:39.432 --> 03:40.252 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a codependent. 03:41.493 --> 03:42.474 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a people pleaser. 03:43.294 --> 03:44.575 [SPEAKER_00]: I have approval issues. 03:45.535 --> 03:47.677 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, why do I have these issues? 03:47.717 --> 03:52.760 [SPEAKER_00]: All I have to do is look back to some of my earliest memories to let me know those things. 03:54.454 --> 03:56.735 [SPEAKER_00]: I felt like I needed to protect my mom from my dad. 03:58.096 --> 04:00.097 [SPEAKER_00]: I was worried about my dad getting home. 04:01.318 --> 04:07.021 [SPEAKER_00]: And even in my first good memory, it had something broken to it. 04:08.381 --> 04:12.503 [SPEAKER_00]: I was terrified to strike out because I would have been the biggest 10-year-old loser there ever was. 04:13.404 --> 04:15.445 [SPEAKER_00]: At least I felt like that's how I'd be to my dad. 04:20.242 --> 04:23.104 [SPEAKER_00]: And if we're honest, this isn't just me. 04:24.045 --> 04:25.126 [SPEAKER_00]: This is all of us in it. 04:27.108 --> 04:28.109 [SPEAKER_00]: We all have that memory. 04:28.149 --> 04:31.391 [SPEAKER_00]: We all have those things from our past that still have a grip on us. 04:32.452 --> 04:33.733 [SPEAKER_00]: That has defined us. 04:35.115 --> 04:39.138 [SPEAKER_00]: So make a smile, like a walk off triple, right? 04:40.459 --> 04:47.445 [SPEAKER_00]: Other memories, you know, the stuff we had, the stuff that we don't want to address, the stuff that we wish would go away. 04:49.055 --> 04:57.720 [SPEAKER_00]: These are the ones that we try not to think about, because when we do, they creep back in, don't they? 04:58.901 --> 05:05.865 [SPEAKER_00]: They start to consume as they start to own us, to the point where a lot of times, it's the only thing we can think about. 05:07.486 --> 05:09.007 [SPEAKER_00]: So how do we keep that from happening? 05:10.048 --> 05:14.691 [SPEAKER_00]: Because ignoring them didn't work for me because I tried to ignore it all the 05:18.323 --> 05:27.388 [SPEAKER_00]: and guess what, every single morning when I woke up, they were still there, they were still there. 05:29.870 --> 05:38.815 [SPEAKER_00]: And carrying this baggage around with me, keeping kept me stuck in the cycle of insanity that my life that I was making my life. 05:40.533 --> 05:47.277 [SPEAKER_00]: And just because we have decided that we're tired, we're sick and tired of being sick and tired, all right, we're gonna go to recovery. 05:47.537 --> 05:50.439 [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't make those memories magically disappeared, doesn't. 05:51.880 --> 05:52.900 [SPEAKER_00]: They're still there, aren't they? 05:54.421 --> 05:57.443 [SPEAKER_00]: That's exactly why step four exists. 05:58.924 --> 06:02.766 [SPEAKER_00]: Step four says we made a searching and fearless honest inventory of ourselves. 06:02.846 --> 06:06.388 [SPEAKER_00]: So tonight, we're not just gonna talk about these memories. 06:07.217 --> 06:10.638 [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to talk about what God intends for us to do with them. 06:11.558 --> 06:11.898 [SPEAKER_00]: All right. 06:13.219 --> 06:15.799 [SPEAKER_00]: And it starts with one word, moral. 06:17.660 --> 06:19.840 [SPEAKER_00]: Because that's how we have to approach this step. 06:20.721 --> 06:30.083 [SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, morally, fearlessly, and without excuses, without finger pointing, without it being somebody else. 06:31.584 --> 06:32.744 [SPEAKER_00]: Somebody else's problem. 06:35.890 --> 06:37.291 [SPEAKER_00]: Why do we fear this step? 06:37.571 --> 06:38.912 [SPEAKER_00]: Why is this step so hard? 06:38.952 --> 06:42.335 [SPEAKER_00]: Why does this step for have so much weight to it? 06:45.637 --> 06:48.620 [SPEAKER_00]: Because up to this point, we've made some big decisions, right? 06:48.640 --> 06:50.701 [SPEAKER_00]: We've decided to come out of denial. 06:51.322 --> 06:57.526 [SPEAKER_00]: We have decided that we are powerless to control the things that have controlled us for so long, right? 06:57.886 --> 07:03.771 [SPEAKER_00]: And in principle, three, we've decided that we're gonna commit all of our lives and all of our control to Jesus, right? 07:07.785 --> 07:10.146 [SPEAKER_00]: but it can still feel like open promises. 07:11.487 --> 07:16.409 [SPEAKER_00]: Because up until this point right here, it's all been about words. 07:16.789 --> 07:19.951 [SPEAKER_00]: It's all about talking about doing something. 07:20.231 --> 07:29.755 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, this step right here is about actually making an honest effort to change something in your life. 07:35.521 --> 07:39.023 [SPEAKER_00]: When I was laying in the bathroom floor back in my addiction, okay? 07:39.443 --> 07:41.444 [SPEAKER_00]: These open promises owned my life. 07:42.244 --> 07:46.667 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, I would say things like, God, please get me out of this, please get me through this. 07:46.987 --> 07:49.328 [SPEAKER_00]: If you do, I will never do this again. 07:50.549 --> 07:55.191 [SPEAKER_00]: And when we get into recovery, it can be a lot of the same, same kind of things that we say. 07:55.791 --> 07:59.113 [SPEAKER_00]: We can say things like, I'm giving it to God. 08:01.034 --> 08:02.955 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. 08:04.451 --> 08:10.280 [SPEAKER_00]: But again, it is just words, because in the moment, we mean these things, right? 08:11.522 --> 08:17.150 [SPEAKER_00]: But when the smoke clears, a lot of times we go right back to doing the same thing we've always done. 08:21.012 --> 08:40.480 [SPEAKER_00]: And listen, we have gotten a long ways already, so don't let me discourage you when I say things like this, but there's 12 steps, not three, so we have to continue on and when we get to step four, we have to start making some actual actions in our recovery. 08:47.045 --> 08:53.569 [SPEAKER_00]: So, the reason that this step is hard is because we actually have to make this effort to change. 08:54.190 --> 08:57.512 [SPEAKER_00]: And if I'm being honest, this is where it got real for me. 08:58.432 --> 09:00.794 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, we're not where I come from. 09:00.834 --> 09:02.154 [SPEAKER_00]: We didn't talk about our feelings. 09:02.895 --> 09:04.276 [SPEAKER_00]: We didn't talk about anything. 09:04.316 --> 09:05.977 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a Gen Xer, right? 09:06.357 --> 09:08.839 [SPEAKER_00]: So we rub dirt on it, right? 09:09.239 --> 09:12.541 [SPEAKER_00]: We were given something to cry about, right? 09:15.545 --> 09:22.311 [SPEAKER_00]: That's the same with what we're doing here because you can't heal a wound that you refuse to uncover. 09:24.993 --> 09:26.854 [SPEAKER_00]: Try to heal something that you're still hiding. 09:27.034 --> 09:27.555 [SPEAKER_00]: Does it work? 09:30.177 --> 09:33.740 [SPEAKER_00]: And when you try to overcome something in private, does that work? 09:36.262 --> 09:38.524 [SPEAKER_00]: The guilt keeps you in chains on it. 09:41.583 --> 10:01.276 [SPEAKER_00]: You say things like, there's no way I'm going to admit that people will think I'm weak that I'm jacked up, that I'm crazy, but the truth is, y'all, if we want healing, we have to take the bandage off because you can't clean something that's covered up. 10:02.977 --> 10:04.278 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm walking through that right now. 10:04.318 --> 10:08.341 [SPEAKER_00]: About two months ago, I was diagnosed with, I say diagnosed. 10:12.343 --> 10:24.608 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, my LDL number was 2-11 and then I went and had a CT scan done for calcium and I have moderate blockages in my arteries already at 51 years old. 10:26.308 --> 10:31.150 [SPEAKER_00]: So I could have done like I did three years ago and ignored this, right? 10:31.750 --> 10:37.292 [SPEAKER_00]: I could have not paid attention to what my doctor was saying and not. 10:39.066 --> 10:48.393 [SPEAKER_00]: changed my diet, not changed my exercise, not take the medicine that he's prescribed and things would have just gotten worse. 10:50.674 --> 10:52.316 [SPEAKER_00]: I had to change the way that I ate. 10:53.076 --> 10:56.058 [SPEAKER_00]: I had to change the, I had to lose weight. 10:56.839 --> 11:03.964 [SPEAKER_00]: I had to take the medicine, even though many of my friends have told me that that's not a good idea. 11:09.657 --> 11:16.502 [SPEAKER_00]: What my cardiologist told me was that it wasn't a matter of if I was going to have a heart attack. 11:18.063 --> 11:20.865 [SPEAKER_00]: If I didn't change my lifestyle, it was a matter of win. 11:24.087 --> 11:35.635 [SPEAKER_00]: I had to get honest with myself and face the reality that if I don't change the way that I'm living, once again, I'm heading down a road that leads to destruction. 11:38.056 --> 11:38.797 [SPEAKER_00]: And then it hit me. 11:40.319 --> 11:43.421 [SPEAKER_00]: This is exactly how we have to approach step four. 11:44.361 --> 11:52.825 [SPEAKER_00]: Looking at something honestly, even when the reality isn't what we want to hear and choosing to deal with it. 11:55.707 --> 12:03.951 [SPEAKER_00]: So, principle four says, openly examine and confess my hurts, hangups and habits to myself, to God and to someone I trust. 12:04.671 --> 12:08.113 [SPEAKER_00]: Blessed are the pure and heart for they will see God, Matthew 5-8. 12:09.502 --> 12:13.524 [SPEAKER_00]: Step four, we made a searching and fearless honest inventory of ourselves. 12:14.345 --> 12:18.047 [SPEAKER_00]: Let us examine our ways and test them and let us return to the Lord. 12:18.467 --> 12:19.868 [SPEAKER_00]: Lamentations 340. 12:21.909 --> 12:26.171 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to make this clear to a newcomer tonight or if you haven't been here very long. 12:27.071 --> 12:30.433 [SPEAKER_00]: That this step is not about shaming you. 12:31.654 --> 12:33.795 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, it's about healing you. 12:35.098 --> 12:40.140 [SPEAKER_00]: It's about ending this cycle of insanity that we've been putting ourselves through for good. 12:42.281 --> 12:44.402 [SPEAKER_00]: And this is where Romans eight one matters. 12:44.782 --> 12:51.205 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, Romans eight one tells us therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 12:52.665 --> 13:04.030 [SPEAKER_00]: That means when we take this step, when we start digging into our past and bringing up all these old bones and these things that we've been trying to suppress for so long and we bring them up into the 13:05.855 --> 13:12.816 [SPEAKER_00]: God's not standing there saying, I told you, I told you that you was bad. 13:14.057 --> 13:15.657 [SPEAKER_00]: He's not sitting there telling us that. 13:15.677 --> 13:19.678 [SPEAKER_00]: He's not wanting to punish us for the things that we put ourselves through. 13:22.478 --> 13:28.720 [SPEAKER_00]: He's saying, let me show you what's been hurting you, so we can heal together. 13:36.416 --> 13:39.118 [SPEAKER_00]: Condemnation says, you're the problem. 13:40.560 --> 13:41.961 [SPEAKER_00]: That's what the enemy tells us in it. 13:42.982 --> 13:43.742 [SPEAKER_00]: We're the problem. 13:44.603 --> 13:50.028 [SPEAKER_00]: Conviction says, this is the problem, and this is how we're gonna deal with it. 13:52.330 --> 13:54.371 [SPEAKER_00]: Step four is not about tearing you down. 13:55.793 --> 13:59.456 [SPEAKER_00]: It's about finally getting on us, so God can put things back together. 14:01.158 --> 14:08.704 [SPEAKER_00]: It's about digging up bones and skeletons we've refused to face because medicating those feelings was much easier, wasn't it. 14:10.305 --> 14:18.431 [SPEAKER_00]: And got to deal with it, I can just drink that away, but putting peroxide on top of a van day doesn't do much does it other than roll right off. 14:20.753 --> 14:23.755 [SPEAKER_00]: So how do we expose those wounds for what they really are? 14:25.843 --> 14:30.588 [SPEAKER_00]: We have to attack this step boldly and fearlessly. 14:31.148 --> 14:33.270 [SPEAKER_00]: And what's the best way to pull a bandaid off y'all? 14:35.052 --> 14:37.815 [SPEAKER_00]: Rippet off boldly with no hesitation, right? 14:39.296 --> 14:42.680 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's what I'm more inventory is all about. 14:46.844 --> 14:48.906 [SPEAKER_00]: Tonight's Acrostic will help us with those memories. 14:50.241 --> 14:55.646 [SPEAKER_00]: with those defining moments, breaking them down, facing them, and walking through them to the other side. 14:57.488 --> 15:02.652 [SPEAKER_00]: So it starts with the Emma, the Emma stands for Make Time. 15:05.275 --> 15:07.236 [SPEAKER_00]: Be still and know that I am God. 15:07.677 --> 15:09.618 [SPEAKER_00]: I will be exalted among the nations. 15:10.239 --> 15:12.821 [SPEAKER_00]: I will be exalted in the earth, Psalms 46, 10. 15:15.948 --> 15:24.390 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, so when we start the inventory process, we have to set aside a special time to just spend with God. 15:25.630 --> 15:29.171 [SPEAKER_00]: It has to be started and closed with prayer. 15:30.351 --> 15:34.572 [SPEAKER_00]: It has to be a date that you literally make with yourself. 15:34.672 --> 15:40.633 [SPEAKER_00]: You have to set aside a special time to get with God. 15:41.273 --> 15:48.720 [SPEAKER_00]: and you and you go over all of these things, these old memories that you've been struggling with for so long. 15:50.482 --> 15:56.087 [SPEAKER_00]: You have to be able to clear your mind and focus solely on what you want to heal. 15:58.349 --> 16:05.195 [SPEAKER_00]: Job 3333 says, but if not, then listen to me be silent and I will teach you wisdom. 16:07.231 --> 16:08.231 [SPEAKER_00]: God wants to help you. 16:09.231 --> 16:16.313 [SPEAKER_00]: God wants to show you the way out of these hurts habits and hangups that have defined you for so long. 16:18.254 --> 16:21.654 [SPEAKER_00]: The O stands for open, open your heart and your mind. 16:23.435 --> 16:26.616 [SPEAKER_00]: Job 7-11, therefore I will not keep silent. 16:26.696 --> 16:29.076 [SPEAKER_00]: I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit. 16:29.536 --> 16:32.937 [SPEAKER_00]: I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. 16:35.358 --> 16:38.420 [SPEAKER_00]: We have to allow ourselves to feel what we've been avoiding. 16:40.682 --> 16:44.305 [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to have to go back to those memories and relive the past. 16:45.226 --> 16:46.527 [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to have to sit in them. 16:47.227 --> 16:50.550 [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to have to feel those pains and those joys again. 16:52.892 --> 16:56.354 [SPEAKER_00]: Revelation starts to happen in step four y'all. 16:57.635 --> 16:57.996 [SPEAKER_00]: Dutton it. 16:58.236 --> 16:59.457 [SPEAKER_00]: Anybody down step study in here? 17:00.938 --> 17:01.298 [SPEAKER_00]: All right. 17:01.618 --> 17:03.800 [SPEAKER_00]: I know there's plenty in here that's done a step study. 17:05.058 --> 17:08.239 [SPEAKER_00]: You start to have those aha moments here in step four, don't you? 17:11.800 --> 17:14.981 [SPEAKER_00]: So what things do you need to ask yourself when you open your heart and mind? 17:15.001 --> 17:17.482 [SPEAKER_00]: You need to ask yourself, what do I feel guilty about? 17:20.003 --> 17:21.183 [SPEAKER_00]: What do I feel guilty about? 17:23.444 --> 17:25.164 [SPEAKER_00]: What are who do I resent? 17:28.825 --> 17:30.326 [SPEAKER_00]: What are who do I fear? 17:34.292 --> 17:37.032 [SPEAKER_00]: And listen, y'all, I won't stress this enough. 17:37.333 --> 17:38.353 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't stress this enough. 17:38.533 --> 17:46.134 [SPEAKER_00]: When you're doing your inventory, you have to have a journal, or you have to have at least a notebook, or put it in the notes on your phone. 17:46.634 --> 17:53.195 [SPEAKER_00]: You have to get these memories out on paper, so you don't try to organize it up here. 17:54.015 --> 17:58.756 [SPEAKER_00]: Because the only thing that's going to happen is you're going to get overwhelmed, and you're going to quit. 18:06.071 --> 18:07.833 [SPEAKER_00]: I just did my fourth inventory. 18:09.454 --> 18:15.259 [SPEAKER_00]: Even though I had inventory so much in my life in the first three, there was always something else to uncover. 18:16.079 --> 18:17.861 [SPEAKER_00]: So I had to make sure that I took notes. 18:18.301 --> 18:19.222 [SPEAKER_00]: So I didn't forget them. 18:22.284 --> 18:24.446 [SPEAKER_00]: The R stands for Reli. 18:26.668 --> 18:29.670 [SPEAKER_00]: Reli on Jesus to give you courage and strength. 18:33.798 --> 18:35.059 [SPEAKER_00]: all his faithful people. 18:35.579 --> 18:40.201 [SPEAKER_00]: The Lord preserves those who are true to him, but the proud he pays back in full. 18:40.842 --> 18:44.403 [SPEAKER_00]: Be strong and take heart, all of you, who hope in the Lord. 18:45.024 --> 18:45.884 [SPEAKER_00]: Psalm 31, 23, 3, 24. 18:45.904 --> 18:46.544 [SPEAKER_00]: So, relying on Jesus, 18:55.472 --> 19:04.178 [SPEAKER_00]: brings me, it brings this thought that in Matthew 14, Jesus had just fed the 5,000, right? 19:05.319 --> 19:19.028 [SPEAKER_00]: And everybody got done eating and they were the disciples were done and Jesus like, okay, I want y'all to get in the boat and I want y'all to go across the lake, all right, and I will meet y'all there when we get done. 19:19.429 --> 19:21.210 [SPEAKER_00]: When I get done telling everybody goodbye. 19:22.627 --> 19:32.252 [SPEAKER_00]: So they get out into the boat and all of a sudden this storm comes up and they're freaking out and everything seems to be going wrong. 19:32.672 --> 19:33.453 [SPEAKER_00]: Anybody been there. 19:33.933 --> 19:38.255 [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody been out in the middle of the lake and then storm comes and you don't know what to do. 19:40.534 --> 19:41.855 [SPEAKER_00]: except for turn to Jesus, right? 19:42.656 --> 19:44.538 [SPEAKER_00]: Because this is what happened with them. 19:45.519 --> 19:48.261 [SPEAKER_00]: In Matthew 14, 27, Jesus reassures them. 19:48.802 --> 19:49.662 [SPEAKER_00]: Don't be afraid. 19:50.163 --> 19:51.784 [SPEAKER_00]: He said, take courage. 19:52.265 --> 19:52.705 [SPEAKER_00]: I am here. 19:55.928 --> 20:04.957 [SPEAKER_00]: I relate to this so much during the inventory process because when we revisit these memories, those old storm clouds that used to bring us down, they show back up. 20:05.958 --> 20:12.320 [SPEAKER_00]: But just like when the disciples thought all hope was lost, here comes Jesus, walking on water. 20:15.241 --> 20:16.541 [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to do this alone. 20:18.262 --> 20:21.323 [SPEAKER_00]: He walks with you across the lake as well. 20:21.703 --> 20:22.843 [SPEAKER_00]: He'll come and get you to. 20:25.084 --> 20:28.085 [SPEAKER_00]: He just have to trust the process and you have to trust him. 20:30.505 --> 20:35.327 [SPEAKER_00]: The A is for analyze, analyze your past honestly. 20:38.820 --> 20:45.985 [SPEAKER_00]: Proverbs 2027, the human spirit is the lamp of the Lord that sheds light on one's inmost being. 20:47.686 --> 20:52.650 [SPEAKER_00]: And those inmost beings for a lot of us are those memories that have defined us. 20:58.654 --> 21:04.318 [SPEAKER_00]: I remember a time in my life when I kept where I kept saying, I don't know why this keeps happening to me. 21:08.270 --> 21:11.972 [SPEAKER_00]: about my drinking, and I didn't understand why I nothing would change. 21:13.293 --> 21:20.657 [SPEAKER_00]: Finding myself passed out, hung over the next day, and wondering why my life wasn't getting any better. 21:22.098 --> 21:23.859 [SPEAKER_00]: Until I finally looked at it honestly. 21:24.720 --> 21:28.722 [SPEAKER_00]: I finally looked and realized it wasn't a random thing. 21:29.202 --> 21:30.123 [SPEAKER_00]: It was consistent. 21:30.823 --> 21:31.744 [SPEAKER_00]: I was consistent. 21:32.184 --> 21:33.005 [SPEAKER_00]: I was the pattern. 21:38.314 --> 21:44.039 [SPEAKER_00]: Alcohol wasn't the problem, it was my character defects that are trying to hide. 21:46.641 --> 21:50.965 [SPEAKER_00]: The insecurities, the need for approval, the co-dependency. 21:52.906 --> 21:55.088 [SPEAKER_00]: I just wasn't just dealing with a habit. 21:55.709 --> 21:58.511 [SPEAKER_00]: I was running from the real issues that were eating my lunch. 22:00.072 --> 22:01.694 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's what step four does. 22:10.324 --> 22:11.585 [SPEAKER_00]: The L stands for list. 22:13.886 --> 22:15.828 [SPEAKER_00]: You have to keep your inventory balanced. 22:16.868 --> 22:21.571 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, you have to, you're going to have positives in your memories, but you also have some good memories, right? 22:24.493 --> 22:28.616 [SPEAKER_00]: We didn't spend our entire life not having some good memories. 22:30.162 --> 22:33.945 [SPEAKER_00]: And if we focus only on the negative, we will get discouraged. 22:34.466 --> 22:36.868 [SPEAKER_00]: And we'll quit when that happens, too. 22:37.649 --> 22:42.313 [SPEAKER_00]: So you have to remind yourself that your life did have its good moments as well. 22:42.993 --> 22:44.434 [SPEAKER_00]: So remember to list those, too. 22:46.916 --> 22:54.403 [SPEAKER_00]: So as I close tonight, I want to stress how vital this step is for your recovery. 22:55.690 --> 23:01.655 [SPEAKER_00]: To truly find freedom from our hurts, hangups, and habits, we have to attack the step full speed ahead. 23:04.077 --> 23:06.179 [SPEAKER_00]: I say that because I've seen this in my own life. 23:07.480 --> 23:10.683 [SPEAKER_00]: If God hadn't stepped in, I wouldn't be here today. 23:11.544 --> 23:18.450 [SPEAKER_00]: If he hadn't shown me a better way to live, a better way to think, or a better way to be, I would have drank myself to death. 23:21.977 --> 23:26.819 [SPEAKER_00]: Alcohol was my medication, my mask, that's all it was. 23:27.560 --> 23:29.200 [SPEAKER_00]: I way of not having to feel anything. 23:30.801 --> 23:35.463 [SPEAKER_00]: I spent 20 years trying to drink my memories away, 20 years. 23:37.484 --> 23:39.905 [SPEAKER_00]: And when I came into recovery, I was looking for a change. 23:39.925 --> 23:43.767 [SPEAKER_00]: And if I'm honest, I thought my only problem was to drink it in the drugs. 23:44.987 --> 23:47.689 [SPEAKER_00]: I figured I'd sit through a few meetings, pick up some tools 23:50.177 --> 23:55.701 [SPEAKER_00]: But the longer I stayed, the more I realized, this isn't about a quick fix. 23:57.703 --> 23:59.004 [SPEAKER_00]: This is about a life change. 24:01.406 --> 24:05.729 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's the one that only Jesus can provide. 24:08.051 --> 24:11.854 [SPEAKER_00]: I knew I had hurts, I knew I had habits and I knew I had hangups. 24:14.356 --> 24:19.440 [SPEAKER_00]: But I didn't feel the full weight of them until I ripped that bandaid off. 24:20.282 --> 24:21.643 [SPEAKER_00]: and dealt with what was underneath. 24:25.225 --> 24:29.668 [SPEAKER_00]: So I've won last illustration before I get done. 24:30.189 --> 24:31.750 [SPEAKER_00]: Jesse, you bring that up for me. 24:36.953 --> 24:41.837 [SPEAKER_00]: Imagine if someone breaks their arm and never gets it fixed. 24:45.239 --> 24:45.719 [SPEAKER_00]: What happens? 24:45.779 --> 24:46.580 [SPEAKER_00]: It heals wrong, right? 24:49.060 --> 25:00.084 [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes, to regain full use of it, what has to happen, it has to be broken again, so it can heal the right way. 25:02.545 --> 25:16.651 [SPEAKER_00]: And just like an arm that doesn't get set right, it's the same with our recovery, if we don't straighten things out, if we don't change the way that we think, if we don't truly commit our lives to Jesus. 25:18.368 --> 25:19.749 [SPEAKER_00]: and dig into those memories. 25:20.949 --> 25:23.410 [SPEAKER_00]: We will end up right back where we've always been. 25:26.312 --> 25:27.252 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe not right away. 25:28.973 --> 25:33.755 [SPEAKER_00]: But if we don't take this step right here seriously, it's not a matter of when. 25:34.155 --> 25:35.376 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it's not a matter of if. 25:36.737 --> 25:37.657 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a matter of when. 25:39.838 --> 25:41.139 [SPEAKER_00]: Y'all got such things straight. 25:42.940 --> 25:45.601 [SPEAKER_00]: He gives us another chance to write the wrongs. 25:48.068 --> 25:49.189 [SPEAKER_00]: So what's in your closet? 25:52.311 --> 25:53.412 [SPEAKER_00]: What's that thing you wrote down? 25:56.014 --> 25:56.974 [SPEAKER_00]: Are you still carrying it? 26:01.177 --> 26:03.779 [SPEAKER_00]: That thing that you've hoped would just magically go away. 26:05.541 --> 26:06.201 [SPEAKER_00]: Is it still there? 26:09.724 --> 26:14.327 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, God already knows what it is and he still loves you through it. 26:16.837 --> 26:20.059 [SPEAKER_00]: and he's inviting you to get it out of you. 26:21.460 --> 26:24.401 [SPEAKER_00]: Let him help you walk through it to freedom. 26:26.062 --> 26:26.462 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's pray. 26:32.266 --> 26:32.986 [SPEAKER_00]: God, we love you. 26:35.408 --> 26:36.628 [SPEAKER_00]: We thank you for step four. 26:36.668 --> 26:37.689 [SPEAKER_00]: We thank you for this. 26:39.772 --> 26:49.254 [SPEAKER_00]: action step that we have to take to just create ourselves once and for all from the things that have owned us for so long. 26:49.794 --> 26:54.615 [SPEAKER_00]: The things that we've been so shameful of that we wouldn't even bring to you, Lord, we want to bring them to you now. 26:55.375 --> 27:03.497 [SPEAKER_00]: We want to get the rid of and we want to have let you have your way with them and just remove them from our last forever. 27:05.097 --> 27:06.638 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for what you're going to do, Lord,