WEBVTT 00:00.031 --> 00:01.700 [SPEAKER_02]: Welcome to the courageous parenting podcast. 00:01.881 --> 00:03.690 [SPEAKER_02]: Hey guys, so glad you're here today. 00:03.710 --> 00:04.776 [SPEAKER_02]: We're talking about 00:04.891 --> 00:15.100 [SPEAKER_04]: the younger years, courageous parenting, all the decisions that you make when you first become a parent and how it can be hard, the challenges that you have at first, you're growing in the Lord, you're being sanctified. 00:15.300 --> 00:19.004 [SPEAKER_02]: And if you're listening or watching on YouTube, you'll see the merch. 00:19.424 --> 00:20.745 [SPEAKER_02]: We are coming out with some new merch. 00:21.026 --> 00:24.068 [SPEAKER_02]: We're speaking at the teach them diligently conferences, both of them. 00:24.469 --> 00:25.570 [SPEAKER_02]: We're so excited to be there. 00:25.590 --> 00:26.551 [SPEAKER_02]: We're gonna have a booth there. 00:27.211 --> 00:33.717 [SPEAKER_02]: We're probably have these mics that you see right here there to do some interviews as well as we're gonna have all the new merch we're launching. 00:33.950 --> 00:40.282 [SPEAKER_02]: the new courageous parenting book, which many of you have been waiting for seven years for. 00:40.302 --> 00:42.045 [SPEAKER_02]: We've been talking about this for seven years. 00:42.446 --> 00:53.526 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm actually thankful that we waited because the world has changed and so it is just right for what the world we're living in now and answers to that from a biblical perspective. 00:53.967 --> 00:57.814 [SPEAKER_02]: So we are just welcoming people on to the launch team right now. 00:57.794 --> 01:01.139 [SPEAKER_02]: I think there's about a hundred people already on it and we just kind of open that up. 01:01.500 --> 01:12.857 [SPEAKER_02]: If you want to learn more about the book, if you want to be on the inside, if you want to really be part of impacting people around the world and helping this book get out there, then go to becragistministry.org for such book. 01:13.458 --> 01:16.663 [SPEAKER_02]: And you can also go to the show notes at crageparity.com and get that too. 01:16.643 --> 01:17.144 [SPEAKER_04]: That's right. 01:17.224 --> 01:18.807 [SPEAKER_04]: So a lot of the merch that you see out here. 01:18.827 --> 01:20.250 [SPEAKER_04]: We have raising disciples hat. 01:20.350 --> 01:21.813 [SPEAKER_04]: Mother heard his ministry hats different. 01:22.214 --> 01:24.599 [SPEAKER_04]: We're going to have t-shirts and sweatshirts. 01:25.280 --> 01:29.168 [SPEAKER_04]: We also have San firm hat Isaac is wearing and other stuff as well. 01:29.228 --> 01:33.296 [SPEAKER_04]: We are actually launching the stuff at the conferences, but it will be in the shop shortly. 01:33.396 --> 01:35.260 [SPEAKER_04]: So just be on the lookout for that. 01:35.240 --> 01:39.986 [SPEAKER_02]: and if you go to the conference or just go to the trade show part of it, what do you call that trade show? 01:40.027 --> 01:40.868 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a little bit all. 01:40.888 --> 01:41.989 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a little bit all. 01:42.049 --> 01:45.394 [SPEAKER_02]: There's my business mind, you'll be the first ever to get the book. 01:45.554 --> 01:49.399 [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to have them there available and before they even launch. 01:49.419 --> 01:50.801 [SPEAKER_02]: We're launching the book June 2nd. 01:50.841 --> 01:52.303 [SPEAKER_02]: So buckle your seat belts. 01:52.483 --> 01:55.688 [SPEAKER_02]: We're so encouraged and be praying for us and be praying for everything. 01:56.008 --> 01:57.711 [SPEAKER_02]: But enjoy the show. 01:57.931 --> 02:03.238 [SPEAKER_02]: So I thought it would be interesting to think back to when we had little children. 02:03.623 --> 02:04.224 [SPEAKER_02]: Wait a second. 02:04.785 --> 02:05.586 [SPEAKER_02]: We do have little children. 02:08.189 --> 02:10.252 [SPEAKER_04]: You did. 02:10.272 --> 02:16.660 [SPEAKER_04]: I literally thought you were stopping the bike. 02:16.680 --> 02:17.321 [SPEAKER_04]: Okay, you guys. 02:17.381 --> 02:17.642 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes. 02:17.682 --> 02:18.983 [SPEAKER_02]: We have three sets of little. 02:19.144 --> 02:20.165 [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, we have nine children. 02:20.285 --> 02:26.093 [SPEAKER_02]: So, but I think if it is like, we have the older three, with the middle three and the younger three, can't believe we felt for that. 02:26.193 --> 02:26.914 [SPEAKER_00]: I felt. 02:28.160 --> 02:33.810 [SPEAKER_02]: So we're gonna talk about great parenting in the years and we've experienced it with three sets of children. 02:33.830 --> 02:36.555 [SPEAKER_02]: Of course, our littles are not called little, it's called little bakes. 02:36.875 --> 02:38.679 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, because nobody likes being a little kid. 02:39.119 --> 02:41.564 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I'm gonna to open that also. 02:41.584 --> 02:43.066 [SPEAKER_02]: Such a little bit. 02:43.086 --> 02:46.793 [SPEAKER_02]: Such a sanctifying process to be parenting. 02:47.195 --> 02:48.556 [SPEAKER_02]: and little children. 02:49.457 --> 03:02.710 [SPEAKER_02]: And it's interesting, I thought we'll go into it in a second, but courageous parenting, a little bit of history, we're coming on eight years soon of doing the podcast every single week, we're approaching 400 episodes. 03:03.331 --> 03:15.463 [SPEAKER_02]: What an amazing journey this has been, a hundred from 94 countries listening in, or approaching eight million downloads views of the episodes, not counting all the other reals and different things. 03:15.545 --> 03:20.072 [SPEAKER_02]: So, really just encouraged by all of you being along the journey with us. 03:20.313 --> 03:24.760 [SPEAKER_02]: We get so much feedback that encourages our hearts about the legacy's impacted. 03:24.800 --> 03:30.350 [SPEAKER_02]: We're on a mission to impact 10 million legacies and with your help, you know, that's starting to happen. 03:30.370 --> 03:31.531 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, we're getting closer to that. 03:31.572 --> 03:34.296 [SPEAKER_02]: So, anyways, why courageous parenting though? 03:34.867 --> 03:55.491 [SPEAKER_04]: Well, I think that when we first started the podcast for many years, we had kind of felt like a salmon swim in upstream, if you will, as far as like parenting decisions we are making, it wasn't always in alignment with mainstream Christianity and it definitely was very counter cultural to mainstream culture, especially living in Oregon. 03:55.471 --> 03:56.152 [SPEAKER_04]: at the time. 03:56.553 --> 04:04.147 [SPEAKER_04]: And I know that there were a lot of decisions that we made where even family, even people that were closest to us were like, you're going to what? 04:04.388 --> 04:07.594 [SPEAKER_04]: You're going to homeschool, you know, just like the different questions and stuff. 04:07.614 --> 04:16.230 [SPEAKER_04]: So we're going to talk about all of those, the hardest decisions that we made in the younger years and what that was like with some biblical encouragement today. 04:16.210 --> 04:36.092 [SPEAKER_04]: Um, but I think that the the topic of criss-gianity versus why did we choose courageous parenting because even when we're getting ready to pick out a title for a new book, which is going to launch in a few weeks, you guys were so excited, and we're actually pre-launching it at the teaching and diligently conferences this coming week in Tennessee and then it will be the first to get the books. 04:36.072 --> 04:36.813 [SPEAKER_04]: in Missouri. 04:36.833 --> 04:37.714 [SPEAKER_04]: We're so excited. 04:37.754 --> 04:39.357 [SPEAKER_04]: We have them being shipped there right now. 04:39.597 --> 04:40.678 [SPEAKER_04]: Pray they get their time in. 04:41.540 --> 04:51.594 [SPEAKER_04]: But we almost titled the book Christian Parenting and then we did, we did a little experiment and we interviewed some people about what do you think the title should be? 04:51.674 --> 04:58.924 [SPEAKER_04]: Christian Parenting or courageous parenting and hands down everybody said courageous parenting and it wasn't because of the podcast, even though that's like been our brand, right? 04:58.964 --> 05:03.210 [SPEAKER_04]: It has nothing to 05:03.190 --> 05:07.596 [SPEAKER_04]: what are people going to expect when they open the book? 05:08.257 --> 05:17.528 [SPEAKER_04]: And they said that one of the things that we heard multiple times, actually, because I asked a few other people, is that when they think of the word Christian with Christian parenting, it actually doesn't really mean very much to them anymore. 05:17.568 --> 05:20.773 [SPEAKER_04]: There's so much spiritual confusion today, so much. 05:21.393 --> 05:29.704 [SPEAKER_04]: And so we realize that, yeah, I mean, if you look deeper into that concept of spiritual confusion and people calling themselves Christians, 05:29.684 --> 05:33.369 [SPEAKER_04]: holds that call themselves Christian, and so that's not good. 05:33.929 --> 05:42.961 [SPEAKER_04]: Then there's nominal Christians that call themselves Christian, which we think is actually one of the most dangerous for little children, right? 05:43.181 --> 05:46.666 [SPEAKER_02]: And there's a lot of books and resources out there with Christian in the title. 05:46.986 --> 05:47.267 [SPEAKER_02]: Right. 05:47.647 --> 05:49.610 [SPEAKER_02]: And there's some that are good, but there's a lot that aren't. 05:49.990 --> 05:52.914 [SPEAKER_02]: There's a lot that are looking at the Bible wrongly. 05:53.154 --> 05:55.337 [SPEAKER_02]: They're either doctrine is not good. 05:55.317 --> 06:14.322 [SPEAKER_04]: There's even, you know, progressive Christian pastors that once used to adhere to Orthodox Christianity, some of them maybe not, but some that did and then they write books on parenting and then you look at it, you go, I kind of remember that name that pastor used to be, but guess what? 06:14.302 --> 06:15.204 [SPEAKER_04]: COVID happened. 06:15.224 --> 06:17.067 [SPEAKER_04]: And then our eyes became open. 06:17.127 --> 06:22.177 [SPEAKER_04]: And then the social justice movement in our BLM and all these different things started happening. 06:22.197 --> 06:25.363 [SPEAKER_04]: And you start seeing a sifting of God's church, right? 06:25.443 --> 06:28.730 [SPEAKER_04]: And you see where people have landed in different camps. 06:28.770 --> 06:33.559 [SPEAKER_04]: And you just really have to be careful about where you're getting advice. 06:33.539 --> 06:35.722 [SPEAKER_04]: on things to be really blunt, right? 06:35.843 --> 06:44.997 [SPEAKER_04]: And so like I remember this was the struggle that we had in our younger years even though that was 26 years ago when we found out we were pregnant with our first, right? 06:45.698 --> 06:50.886 [SPEAKER_04]: We got pregnant just a few months after we got married and there was no internet like blogs. 06:51.026 --> 06:51.727 [SPEAKER_04]: There was no blogs. 06:51.988 --> 06:54.872 [SPEAKER_04]: That didn't start happening until like run 2008. 06:54.852 --> 07:08.975 [SPEAKER_04]: and so for those first eight years of parenting we primarily it was like books we were reading books and having mentors in our life and asking hard questions and there was what one parenting seminar that one of our churches did, right? 07:09.356 --> 07:10.858 [SPEAKER_04]: Actually there were two. 07:10.939 --> 07:13.683 [SPEAKER_04]: We went to one at the first church we were at and then we went to one at the second church. 07:13.743 --> 07:16.708 [SPEAKER_02]: I was going to new dad and I mean I'm just learning out. 07:16.688 --> 07:19.712 [SPEAKER_02]: Honestly, you'd only been in a few years of me learning the Bible, too. 07:19.892 --> 07:36.115 [SPEAKER_02]: I was a new Christian at 23 and and I'm sitting there And I'm listening to this it would be kind of equivalent to maybe gentle parenting or today or something like that And it would definitely happen afterwards after where is I'm like Angie this does not make sense 07:36.095 --> 07:52.652 [SPEAKER_02]: And I couldn't, I couldn't pinpoint why it doesn't make sense publicly at the time, but I just knew like my leadership experience, my business experience, and the Holy Spirit in me, that combination was like, this is, this is, I just remember thinking, this is so weak sauce. 07:52.953 --> 07:53.213 [SPEAKER_04]: Right. 07:53.955 --> 07:59.183 [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, there were a few things that we took from it, but then it was like, wow, what a waste of six weeks, right? 07:59.203 --> 08:01.006 [SPEAKER_04]: Because it was like a thing that we were going to regular. 08:01.026 --> 08:02.188 [SPEAKER_04]: That was the second church we were going to. 08:02.208 --> 08:03.069 [SPEAKER_04]: The first church we went to. 08:03.129 --> 08:04.972 [SPEAKER_04]: I went to a parenting conference on my own. 08:05.413 --> 08:07.476 [SPEAKER_04]: And that was incredibly enlightening. 08:07.697 --> 08:09.780 [SPEAKER_04]: But you and I were not in alignment. 08:09.997 --> 08:19.005 [SPEAKER_04]: Like, I went to this parenting conference and I started to become more in alignment with you because you actually were already, like on topics like biblical discipline. 08:19.025 --> 08:24.450 [SPEAKER_04]: Is there a more biblical way to do healthcare that's more effective than insurance and saves you money? 08:24.911 --> 08:29.895 [SPEAKER_04]: For the last six years, we've experienced a resounding yes by joining Samaritan Ministries Healthcare Sharing. 08:30.235 --> 08:33.618 [SPEAKER_04]: And I've even switched to the recently launched Redeem Health Share Ministry. 08:34.099 --> 08:39.784 [SPEAKER_04]: In the past, we paid more monthly for health insurance and extra medical bills than we do now with a bigger family. 08:39.764 --> 08:46.635 [SPEAKER_04]: With Redeem, we love the efficient way our medical burdens are handled and the seamless digital dashboard to manage our membership. 08:47.075 --> 08:55.629 [SPEAKER_04]: This trusted Christian organization has been around for over 30 years and we love being a part of the difference they make to redeem health sharing in our culture. 08:56.490 --> 09:00.276 [SPEAKER_04]: Learn more at redeemhellshare.org or click on the link in our show notes. 09:00.657 --> 09:02.700 [SPEAKER_04]: That's redeemhellshare.org. 09:03.288 --> 09:12.543 [SPEAKER_04]: There's just so many, when you get married, there's so many potential opportunities for the enemy to get a foothold if you're not in alignment in your marriage. 09:12.984 --> 09:15.668 [SPEAKER_04]: And that was not on our radar when we said I do. 09:16.469 --> 09:20.456 [SPEAKER_04]: And we had premarile counseling, which was incredibly helpful. 09:20.496 --> 09:26.165 [SPEAKER_04]: We loved it, we loved a couple, but they only really covered a couple of topics on parenting because we weren't buried yet. 09:26.766 --> 09:27.287 [SPEAKER_04]: And so, 09:27.267 --> 09:45.900 [SPEAKER_02]: And most churches don't ever get to parenting and a lot of times unfortunately a lot of times even the leaders are feeling lost in that category and so it's it's really an important thing to talk about and it's a sanctifying process and so courageous parenting is really about biblical parenting. 09:45.880 --> 09:51.991 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's really about going back to the Bible, you know, what does it actually say that it's not what makes us feel comfortable. 09:52.011 --> 09:54.496 [SPEAKER_02]: It's not what makes us feel good in today's society. 09:54.516 --> 09:55.918 [SPEAKER_04]: It's not what everybody else is doing. 09:55.959 --> 10:01.689 [SPEAKER_04]: It's not what we witnessed, even our parents doing necessarily because I think that you know, it's interesting. 10:01.709 --> 10:04.935 [SPEAKER_04]: I was having a conversation with one of our older kids and they said, 10:04.915 --> 10:15.911 [SPEAKER_04]: You know, you have hurt feelings if we don't do absolutely everything the way you did it and I just started laughing because I'm like, Honey, do you do you even know what we teach with courageous parenting? 10:15.951 --> 10:19.196 [SPEAKER_04]: Because like, that's not the goal. 10:19.776 --> 10:21.259 [SPEAKER_04]: That's not the goal of courageous parenting. 10:21.739 --> 10:33.336 [SPEAKER_04]: With courageous parenting, we are sharing with you guys the things we're learning in the word, which sometimes because there are new things we're learning, like as we're always learning, we're always being sanctified, we're always growing. 10:33.316 --> 10:43.050 [SPEAKER_04]: Some of those things are like, yeah, we're just realizing this even now 26 years in, which is going to look different than how it was when they were parented at six or seven, right? 10:43.110 --> 10:49.059 [SPEAKER_02]: It takes way more intentionality today even more so than the past and there's a lot of first when it comes to parenting. 10:49.079 --> 10:51.122 [SPEAKER_02]: So let's just go back to the younger years. 10:51.102 --> 11:04.337 [SPEAKER_02]: If you have Middles, Olders, they're already out of the house, you're grandparents, we have wonderful grandparents listening, whatever the season is, doesn't matter, but let's go back to what happens when you're starting to have children. 11:04.898 --> 11:11.045 [SPEAKER_02]: There's everything is new, everything, and it's really pressing against your selfishness. 11:11.406 --> 11:13.448 [SPEAKER_02]: It's one of the most sanctifying things 11:13.428 --> 11:15.192 [SPEAKER_02]: that exists is having children. 11:15.593 --> 11:24.595 [SPEAKER_02]: And especially if you're intending to do it well, because doing it well is going to go against your selfishness, and you're going to be revealed of how selfish you actually are. 11:24.635 --> 11:26.540 [SPEAKER_02]: And that's offensive. 11:26.660 --> 11:28.384 [SPEAKER_02]: I know, but I remember feeling that way. 11:28.404 --> 11:29.226 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, whoa, 11:29.459 --> 11:32.686 [SPEAKER_02]: like how long it takes to buckle in three little children. 11:32.726 --> 11:35.892 [SPEAKER_02]: Try buckling five really got me frustrated. 11:35.952 --> 11:39.059 [SPEAKER_02]: I remember that back then got me frustrated. 11:39.079 --> 11:43.628 [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like how selfish this is a blessing that God gave us these three children. 11:43.648 --> 11:46.995 [SPEAKER_02]: Why would I be frustrated to take a little extra time? 11:46.975 --> 11:57.570 [SPEAKER_04]: Well, because if you're running late, then it's an inconvenience to your agenda, and then it makes you late, and that's You don't feel good. 11:57.610 --> 11:58.692 [SPEAKER_04]: Nobody feels good when they're late. 11:58.752 --> 12:06.823 [SPEAKER_02]: Or if somebody's really about finances, like really sticking to everything, and then they start to realize, wait, we have three children and diapers right now. 12:06.803 --> 12:12.891 [SPEAKER_02]: And the diaper costs are out the roof, how are we going to afford to have more kids or these kinds of things? 12:12.911 --> 12:20.760 [SPEAKER_02]: There's all these verses, all these decisions that you're making, one thing I'll say is never, I never made a decision based on finances. 12:21.341 --> 12:25.847 [SPEAKER_02]: I've been in a decision based on what God wants and being open to whatever he wants. 12:25.867 --> 12:29.251 [SPEAKER_04]: Because he's the one who provides for us financially, he gives and takes away. 12:29.811 --> 12:31.073 [SPEAKER_04]: It's all from God. 12:31.053 --> 12:37.942 [SPEAKER_04]: And as a Christian, a biblical Christian, there is even when you're a biblical Christian, does that mean you wrestle with the flesh? 12:38.222 --> 12:39.083 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, you're human. 12:39.804 --> 12:41.666 [SPEAKER_04]: We all still wrestle with the flesh. 12:41.746 --> 12:47.253 [SPEAKER_04]: And so, you know what, there's like three things that come to my mind that all Christians will always wrestle with flesh-wise. 12:47.353 --> 12:51.118 [SPEAKER_04]: When they're not walking in the spirit, they're walking in the flesh, what are they gonna do? 12:51.138 --> 12:53.801 [SPEAKER_04]: They're gonna be selfish unless they're walking in the spirit. 12:54.222 --> 12:59.288 [SPEAKER_04]: They're gonna be potentially growing in pride, unless they're walking in the spirit. 12:59.268 --> 13:05.216 [SPEAKER_04]: They're also potentially going to become self-sufficient independent spirit, right? 13:05.396 --> 13:08.019 [SPEAKER_04]: Not needing anybody, including God. 13:08.560 --> 13:13.046 [SPEAKER_04]: And so there's this like constant pull in our flesh to pull away from God. 13:13.166 --> 13:15.830 [SPEAKER_04]: And we have to fight that and surrender. 13:16.090 --> 13:22.238 [SPEAKER_04]: And that's why we need Jesus every, every hour I need the his mercies are new every morning. 13:22.218 --> 13:30.589 [SPEAKER_04]: There's this need for us as Christians to know that we need God every minute, you need him to help us have selflessness, self-control, right? 13:30.609 --> 13:34.133 [SPEAKER_02]: And so what's happening during this time is your capacity is getting stretched. 13:34.774 --> 13:36.296 [SPEAKER_02]: That's a good thing. 13:36.737 --> 13:37.358 [SPEAKER_01]: It's a bad thing. 13:37.378 --> 13:38.619 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a bad thing. 13:38.639 --> 13:39.220 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a bad thing. 13:39.240 --> 13:40.442 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a bad thing. 13:40.462 --> 13:41.363 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a bad thing. 13:41.984 --> 13:43.165 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a bad thing. 13:43.205 --> 13:44.227 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a bad thing. 13:44.247 --> 13:45.048 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a bad thing. 13:45.148 --> 13:46.029 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a bad thing. 13:46.049 --> 13:47.211 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a bad thing. 13:47.331 --> 13:48.352 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a bad thing. 13:48.372 --> 13:49.153 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a bad thing. 13:49.133 --> 13:52.558 [SPEAKER_02]: Yo, as you remember, back here, like, well, I can handle way more nowadays. 13:53.118 --> 14:01.570 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, these kinds of things, we run into, by the way, we run into people at restaurants when all our kids are with us and so forth that are in their older years, much older than us. 14:02.170 --> 14:05.495 [SPEAKER_02]: And they say, oh, I wish we had more children. 14:05.996 --> 14:10.101 [SPEAKER_02]: And that's the most common thing we hear when our large family is out. 14:10.642 --> 14:17.571 [SPEAKER_02]: And it's because I think they say that because their capacity is way farther ahead now, because they've experienced life. 14:17.551 --> 14:36.235 [SPEAKER_02]: and that wouldn't be an issue if they had the capacity today that they had back then they probably would have had more children so we have to let we have to let it's not just about having more children right there God has a unique plan every single family looks different but capacity letting your capacity grows important things 14:36.215 --> 14:47.188 [SPEAKER_04]: I do want to just reiterate something that I don't, I don't know if a fully set it before as we go into all these different topics, which is the goal of cradges parenting is not ever to get you to do what we have done. 14:47.769 --> 14:50.432 [SPEAKER_04]: It's not about you being in alignment with Isaac and Angie. 14:50.752 --> 14:51.393 [SPEAKER_04]: That is not it. 14:51.513 --> 14:55.197 [SPEAKER_04]: God has a different plan and a different path and a different will for every person. 14:55.638 --> 14:59.022 [SPEAKER_04]: We believe the truth that God is the creator of life. 14:59.062 --> 15:02.526 [SPEAKER_04]: Therefore, he designs the family. 15:02.506 --> 15:03.027 [SPEAKER_04]: He does. 15:03.868 --> 15:05.790 [SPEAKER_04]: I'm not going to take credit for something that's God's. 15:05.810 --> 15:06.571 [SPEAKER_04]: He's a creator. 15:07.092 --> 15:11.798 [SPEAKER_04]: And so to think that everybody needs to have an ex amount of children or whatever, right? 15:11.859 --> 15:15.684 [SPEAKER_04]: Like that is almost like taking on like the authority that God has. 15:16.184 --> 15:18.848 [SPEAKER_04]: And so that's not something we have ever believed. 15:19.228 --> 15:29.442 [SPEAKER_04]: And so I think that for us like choosing courageous parenting, it was like, there's this need for people to understand that every decision you make if you're going to follow Jesus. 15:29.422 --> 15:31.024 [SPEAKER_04]: regardless of what that is. 15:31.285 --> 15:36.893 [SPEAKER_04]: Like let's just say, even if you have a very lucrative business job, right? 15:36.933 --> 15:46.688 [SPEAKER_04]: Like my husband was making very good money for the first 15 years that we were married and when he decided to walk away from that company, some people would be like, why are you doing that? 15:46.668 --> 15:48.171 [SPEAKER_04]: That doesn't make sense, do you remember? 15:48.531 --> 15:52.839 [SPEAKER_04]: People were like, you're doing so well, you're at the top of your game. 15:52.999 --> 15:54.121 [SPEAKER_04]: Why are you walking away? 15:54.301 --> 15:55.203 [SPEAKER_02]: So it's honoring to me. 15:55.223 --> 16:07.444 [SPEAKER_04]: Well, but it was it was it was also because there was an element of purpose where you felt you were being called to a higher purpose to make greater impact. 16:07.424 --> 16:08.708 [SPEAKER_04]: doing something else. 16:09.329 --> 16:13.220 [SPEAKER_04]: And there was no guarantee of finances doing the other thing. 16:13.962 --> 16:22.446 [SPEAKER_04]: It actually required investment of everything we had built in order to follow what you believed you were being called to do. 16:22.426 --> 16:23.869 [SPEAKER_04]: and God was calling you out. 16:24.289 --> 16:25.211 [SPEAKER_04]: I believe that 100%. 16:26.333 --> 16:31.403 [SPEAKER_04]: I just believe that what we are doing now is actually that what God has called us to. 16:31.823 --> 16:34.909 [SPEAKER_04]: And so sometimes the journey is a little bit crooked. 16:35.230 --> 16:37.734 [SPEAKER_04]: Sometimes you fall on the path, right? 16:37.794 --> 16:41.682 [SPEAKER_04]: Sometimes God does, okay, I got you out, but you're going on the wrong road again. 16:41.702 --> 16:46.290 [SPEAKER_04]: This is actually still too much about you and I actually want you to be all about me. 16:46.270 --> 17:09.679 [SPEAKER_02]: I find it's good to get older, he gets more, the Lord gets more opinionated about what I do and he closes doors and opens doors and other things on first and we'll get into making why decisions is your marriage is stretched during this time and unfortunately sometimes marriages cause weaker decisions or stronger decisions based on what's happening in those marriages and then the foundation is being laid. 17:09.895 --> 17:13.298 [SPEAKER_02]: And as the foundation's laid, it's a very important to be courageous. 17:13.739 --> 17:17.623 [SPEAKER_02]: If you're not courageous, you're going to lay a weaker foundation than could be. 17:18.123 --> 17:20.526 [SPEAKER_02]: And you want to lay a strong foundation in your marriage. 17:20.766 --> 17:22.908 [SPEAKER_02]: And then let's go into making wise decisions. 17:22.968 --> 17:33.019 [SPEAKER_02]: Because this is really the crux of this episode is, you know, when you're making decisions, it's very important that you are making decisions with a couple things. 17:33.079 --> 17:34.941 [SPEAKER_02]: First of all, is it biblical? 17:35.221 --> 17:37.303 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, what does the Bible actually say? 17:37.283 --> 17:40.089 [SPEAKER_02]: And what's biblical is often unpopular. 17:40.631 --> 17:49.150 [SPEAKER_02]: And so, therefore, even in Christian circles, what is biblical is going to go against even what a lot of people in Christian circles are going to be doing. 17:49.687 --> 18:00.619 [SPEAKER_02]: And the additional thought on making wise decisions, I hope the fathers are listening, is that when you're faced with decisions, there's always an easier decision and a harder decision. 18:01.120 --> 18:05.645 [SPEAKER_02]: And usually that harder decision is a more fruitful decision long term. 18:06.166 --> 18:16.217 [SPEAKER_02]: In the short term, if your short term thinker, it'll look like it's the wisest choice that easier or even little bit easier paths, 18:16.585 --> 18:21.651 [SPEAKER_02]: it'll look like in the short term it's maybe even wiser financially or time or 18:22.053 --> 18:25.757 [SPEAKER_02]: based on where your capacity is at for what you can handle and things like that. 18:26.278 --> 18:44.818 [SPEAKER_02]: But what I would say is if you're really paying attention to Lord and you're looking at all the paths and you're looking at what is the most fruitful long-term, I'm willing to sacrifice my comfort, I'm willing to sacrifice even when I feel capable of doing to make this decision because it's long-term, it's more fruitful. 18:45.438 --> 18:51.705 [SPEAKER_02]: That is what very few, should I just say, very few men do in the early years of marriage, 18:52.225 --> 19:05.771 [SPEAKER_04]: I think that in the early years of marriage too, if you start having children right away, that's because really a lot of your big time marriage conversations about harder decisions, actually your centered around parenting more than they are around marriage. 19:06.252 --> 19:06.352 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. 19:06.372 --> 19:13.305 [SPEAKER_04]: I'll be honest, I mean, usually like think about it when you're buying a house, that's that's important that you're in alignment on buying a house on. 19:13.285 --> 19:18.994 [SPEAKER_04]: whether you're going to rent or not, where you're going to be, what church you're going to go to, these are all really big decisions. 19:19.856 --> 19:27.067 [SPEAKER_04]: But the minute that you add children into the mix, all of a sudden, there's a whole bunch of more pros and cons that start coming up. 19:27.829 --> 19:31.194 [SPEAKER_04]: And that's where it gets harder for couples to be in alignment. 19:31.575 --> 19:37.464 [SPEAKER_04]: And I think our goal, so here's the thing, like there's so many wonderful mom podcasts out there. 19:37.585 --> 19:38.466 [SPEAKER_04]: I've been on them. 19:38.446 --> 19:39.628 [SPEAKER_04]: I appreciate them. 19:40.349 --> 19:45.597 [SPEAKER_04]: Um, but for years, I saw that it podcasting was growing and that there were these mom podcasts. 19:45.617 --> 19:48.341 [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm going to share with you a little pain that we had in our marriage. 19:49.243 --> 19:52.107 [SPEAKER_04]: And it wasn't from podcasts because I wasn't really listening to them. 19:52.127 --> 19:53.209 [SPEAKER_04]: I just saw them growing. 19:53.269 --> 19:58.317 [SPEAKER_04]: And I didn't really see anything that was like a couple together talking about parenting. 19:58.357 --> 20:00.420 [SPEAKER_04]: This is before we started courageous parenting. 20:00.400 --> 20:10.657 [SPEAKER_04]: And there, you know, there were mom's groups, there were mom's Bible studies, mobs, there was at churches that I was involved in and I would go and I even ran them for many years. 20:10.937 --> 20:21.615 [SPEAKER_04]: And I, we would have these speakers come and they taught so well, biblical truth that was relevant to issues of motherhood and parenting, actually. 20:21.595 --> 20:24.057 [SPEAKER_04]: but the problem was that the guys were not there. 20:24.077 --> 20:34.348 [SPEAKER_04]: And then the wives would be growing and they go home and they try to share with their spouse about what they had learned and how they want to do x-y-n-z now or they don't want to do x-y-n-z anymore, right? 20:34.388 --> 20:41.815 [SPEAKER_04]: Like, whether it's, oh, we got to be more careful about the music in the movies or I want to pull kids out and I want to homeschool now or whatever it was, right? 20:42.175 --> 20:44.478 [SPEAKER_04]: And the guys are sitting there like, what just happened? 20:44.938 --> 20:50.944 [SPEAKER_04]: I went to work, I came home and my wife has a different opinion and now we're not in alignment and I have no idea where she's coming from. 20:50.924 --> 21:05.946 [SPEAKER_04]: Does this sound any familiar at all and so like when we started this ministry it was literally like it has to be different because the main goal is not the people agree with whoever's teaching what it's not about that it's about 21:05.926 --> 21:12.037 [SPEAKER_04]: Couples being an alignment following God together, finding his will for their life. 21:12.057 --> 21:22.256 [SPEAKER_04]: And that should be your priority as a young married person, as an older married person, that is still the thing that we go back to over and over again. 21:22.276 --> 21:24.340 [SPEAKER_04]: Doesn't matter what someone so's done. 21:24.320 --> 21:26.344 [SPEAKER_04]: Doesn't matter what they're doing, right? 21:26.384 --> 21:28.147 [SPEAKER_04]: When your kids come to you and they go, can I do this? 21:28.528 --> 21:29.850 [SPEAKER_04]: So when someone's doing it, it doesn't even matter. 21:29.930 --> 21:32.315 [SPEAKER_04]: Like our kids don't even say that to us, because they know what we're gonna say. 21:32.535 --> 21:33.136 [SPEAKER_04]: Doesn't matter. 21:33.457 --> 21:35.281 [SPEAKER_04]: It does not matter what is God want from you. 21:35.902 --> 21:38.487 [SPEAKER_04]: What is God want us to do in this situation? 21:38.947 --> 21:40.911 [SPEAKER_04]: That is always gotta be 21:40.891 --> 21:42.013 [SPEAKER_04]: the end of the line. 21:42.434 --> 21:55.855 [SPEAKER_04]: But it should be the beginning thing that you start out asking the question with, which is oftentimes so hard for couples if they don't know the Bible super well, which is why God wants older men and women to teach the younger men and women, right? 21:55.915 --> 22:01.665 [SPEAKER_04]: And so it's just ironic that for us we do have nine kids so we still have young girls while we have olders. 22:02.166 --> 22:03.608 [SPEAKER_04]: And we've learned a lot over the years. 22:03.824 --> 22:05.810 [SPEAKER_02]: That's just the journey that got good for us. 22:05.910 --> 22:06.672 [SPEAKER_04]: It could end the bad. 22:06.692 --> 22:07.534 [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't start out that way. 22:07.575 --> 22:08.718 [SPEAKER_02]: We don't come from big families. 22:08.758 --> 22:09.540 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't really need that. 22:10.001 --> 22:13.190 [SPEAKER_02]: We also went one childhood time. 22:13.351 --> 22:14.735 [SPEAKER_02]: That's its whole own story. 22:14.755 --> 22:15.657 [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe another episode. 22:15.697 --> 22:18.846 [SPEAKER_02]: But I think that as you're making wise decisions. 22:18.826 --> 22:24.819 [SPEAKER_02]: You don't want to make permanent decisions when under stress and big transitions. 22:25.460 --> 22:38.387 [SPEAKER_02]: This is something we decided on early on, which is sometimes after having a baby, it can be really stressful, it can be really challenging, it can be hard to even think about 22:38.857 --> 22:41.000 [SPEAKER_02]: doing that again or adding one more someday. 22:41.060 --> 22:42.182 [SPEAKER_02]: And these kinds of things. 22:42.222 --> 22:45.347 [SPEAKER_02]: And we just encourage you, what is the Lord want? 22:46.028 --> 22:47.410 [SPEAKER_02]: And make patient. 22:47.430 --> 22:54.221 [SPEAKER_02]: And to be patient, maybe you're not in the best place, maybe your marriage is getting stretched right now. 22:54.601 --> 22:55.362 [SPEAKER_02]: We talked about that. 22:55.843 --> 22:57.285 [SPEAKER_02]: Your past is getting stretched. 22:57.806 --> 23:02.333 [SPEAKER_02]: And if you make a decision before stretched 23:03.275 --> 23:09.322 [SPEAKER_02]: You might make a decision you regret someday, or you might make a decision that kind of goes against maybe a better plan that got had for you. 23:09.382 --> 23:15.809 [SPEAKER_02]: So, and that goes with children, that can go with investments, that can go with career change, that can go with move moves. 23:16.990 --> 23:21.575 [SPEAKER_02]: That can go with how you handle outside family, things like that. 23:22.617 --> 23:28.083 [SPEAKER_02]: Don't make any permanent decisions when you're under stress or under fear, because a lot of times that's what sets in. 23:28.543 --> 23:32.067 [SPEAKER_02]: And when you make decisions in fear, it's usually going to be a bad decision long term. 23:32.384 --> 23:41.499 [SPEAKER_04]: or even if you have make a decision based upon what you experienced, as if the narrative is going to repeat itself again, when that might not even be God's will for your life. 23:41.519 --> 23:50.214 [SPEAKER_04]: Like, I think that a lot of people, it's rare when a homeschool curriculum works for all different personalities, but when it does, it makes homeschooling children so much easier. 23:50.675 --> 23:56.805 [SPEAKER_04]: In my home, everyone is wired so differently, and for the first time ever, everyone loves and is excelling in math. 23:56.785 --> 24:00.992 [SPEAKER_04]: A year ago, I switched all of my children 10 to 17 to CTC math. 24:01.393 --> 24:06.861 [SPEAKER_04]: The online interface and the way it works makes it easy for everyone to excel and makes progress so much faster. 24:07.322 --> 24:09.846 [SPEAKER_04]: I love them so much we asked them to sponsor the show. 24:10.307 --> 24:12.310 [SPEAKER_04]: Are you ready to take stress out of math? 24:12.431 --> 24:15.696 [SPEAKER_04]: Visit ctcmath.com and start your free trial today. 24:16.036 --> 24:19.502 [SPEAKER_04]: That's CTC math, the online curriculum that works for everyone. 24:19.482 --> 24:34.605 [SPEAKER_04]: if we all just as Christians who are like God is appealing his message of reconciliation through us, which is actually the gospel reconciliation with one another reconciliation with God, which includes obedience to Him. 24:34.585 --> 24:58.483 [SPEAKER_04]: Right, obedience to his will, which we're going to read in James chapter one here because really all the hard decisions required wisdom and biblical wisdom not worldly wisdom the two are very much contrasting today and so James chapter one verse five says if any of you lacks wisdom let him ask God who gives generally to generously to all without reproach and it will be given him. 24:58.463 --> 25:05.138 [SPEAKER_04]: But let him ask in faith with no doubting for the one who doubts is like way the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 25:05.579 --> 25:08.847 [SPEAKER_04]: For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord. 25:08.887 --> 25:12.736 [SPEAKER_04]: He is a double-minded man, unstable in all of his ways. 25:13.377 --> 25:15.021 [SPEAKER_04]: This is a huge... 25:15.001 --> 25:30.985 [SPEAKER_04]: Warning and exhortation to us as Christians for when we're praying to really like if we don't believe it like we need to work on our belief We need to repent and we need to ask God God would you heal my unbelief that is actually in the Bible heal my unbelief 25:30.965 --> 25:40.509 [SPEAKER_04]: How many times should we, as Christians, set your identity aside for a second because being a spouse is one relationship you have. 25:40.629 --> 25:41.571 [SPEAKER_04]: It's not your identity. 25:41.812 --> 25:45.962 [SPEAKER_04]: Being a mom is a relationship and a role that you have. 25:46.343 --> 25:48.248 [SPEAKER_04]: It's not who you are. 25:48.228 --> 25:48.729 [SPEAKER_04]: Right? 25:49.350 --> 25:51.112 [SPEAKER_04]: It makes up part of who you are. 25:51.133 --> 26:16.632 [SPEAKER_04]: It challenges you to become a better person, but who you are is your Identity should be formed firmly in Christ regardless of be married regardless of How many children you have if you have children and that relationship of seeking God and hearing his wisdom Being able to discern rightly what the word of God is saying you have to be in the Bible a lot Romans 12 too Even says that that's where our minds are renewed 26:16.612 --> 26:23.539 [SPEAKER_04]: And so, we have to wash ourselves with the Word seeking out what His perfect and pleasing and acceptable will is. 26:23.860 --> 26:25.101 [SPEAKER_04]: Again, Romans chapter 12. 26:25.702 --> 26:32.649 [SPEAKER_04]: And so, I think that when we're in the midst of making those hard decisions, we have to realize where we're going to get the wise decision making. 26:33.230 --> 26:39.256 [SPEAKER_04]: It's not, it's first and foremost got to come from the Word of God, not from any other human being, but from the Word of God. 26:39.897 --> 26:44.121 [SPEAKER_04]: And then, God can use the body of Christ through the 26:44.101 --> 26:47.826 [SPEAKER_04]: to confirm or even teach you things you don't know. 26:47.846 --> 27:08.472 [SPEAKER_04]: But if it's from the Holy Spirit, any advice you're going to get from Seeking Wise Council, which is also a proverb tells us to do, we should seek wise counsel from Titus II, men and women that we trust, people who love us, who are on our team who are not going to justify what they've done and give a subjective answer versus an objective answer, right? 27:08.452 --> 27:16.217 [SPEAKER_04]: But instead, when we realize that the Holy Spirit never contradicts itself, whatever they're saying is going to be 100% in alignment with what the Bible says. 27:16.484 --> 27:18.808 [SPEAKER_02]: You have to be really careful about getting advice from other people. 27:19.209 --> 27:23.316 [SPEAKER_02]: A lot of people are giving advice based on their own experiences with it. 27:23.336 --> 27:27.062 [SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't need to be your experience and maybe that's not what God has for you. 27:27.743 --> 27:31.109 [SPEAKER_02]: And I just think you've got to be really, you've got to take very few opinions. 27:31.189 --> 27:36.959 [SPEAKER_02]: Do you take the right opinions but they need to be people that are walking strong with the Lord. 27:37.360 --> 27:41.968 [SPEAKER_02]: You know they're hearing from the Lord and if they're not and they're not in their Bible regularly, 27:42.539 --> 27:45.584 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, you're gonna get some bad advice. 27:45.964 --> 27:49.790 [SPEAKER_02]: It may look good, but it's not that long-term fruitfulness advice. 27:50.251 --> 27:51.933 [SPEAKER_02]: It's not gonna propel you to do what's harder. 27:52.394 --> 27:55.599 [SPEAKER_02]: In a lot of cases, you know what it actually sounds like and it helps you. 27:56.000 --> 27:59.465 [SPEAKER_02]: They're actually proactively trying to get you to make things easier. 28:00.226 --> 28:08.479 [SPEAKER_02]: They're trying to get you to have a weaker long-term decision for your own comfort today. 28:08.459 --> 28:09.621 [SPEAKER_02]: And that's common. 28:09.641 --> 28:13.729 [SPEAKER_04]: It's interesting because there's a lot of warnings in scripture about being careful who you listen to. 28:14.290 --> 28:25.472 [SPEAKER_04]: One is in first Peter chapter five, which this is actually a section that's for like elders, overseers, shepherds, but I think that it's important because one thing you always say to dads is you're the pastor of your family. 28:25.452 --> 28:33.162 [SPEAKER_04]: You are the pastor of your family, and so you are to shepherd your flock that God has put under you. 28:33.703 --> 28:49.924 [SPEAKER_04]: And so chapter 5 verse 8, first Peter says, be sober, minded, be watchful, your adversary, the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour, resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brother, 28:49.904 --> 28:56.694 [SPEAKER_04]: Literally has united so many like-minded parents all over the world, like I said earlier, 194 countries. 28:57.255 --> 29:11.457 [SPEAKER_04]: It's united parents from all over the world who are the brotherhood throughout the world that are literally experiencing the exact same struggle you're experiencing and trying to figure out what the right decision is. 29:11.437 --> 29:15.583 [SPEAKER_04]: They're you're not alone in going, uh, should we have another baby or not? 29:15.903 --> 29:18.026 [SPEAKER_04]: Or, I don't know, should we homeschool? 29:18.046 --> 29:19.208 [SPEAKER_04]: Should we be private schools? 29:19.228 --> 29:20.269 [SPEAKER_04]: Should we do public schools? 29:20.489 --> 29:21.371 [SPEAKER_04]: You're not alone. 29:21.811 --> 29:23.053 [SPEAKER_04]: And should we do sleepovers? 29:23.574 --> 29:25.256 [SPEAKER_04]: Literally every decision that you make. 29:25.456 --> 29:26.498 [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know about that movie. 29:26.758 --> 29:35.470 [SPEAKER_04]: No, there there are a brotherhood of people of courageous parents who are choosing to say no to certain things, choosing to say yes. 29:35.450 --> 29:41.618 [SPEAKER_04]: to certain things, and to the world, they're gonna, if you're obeying God, you will be condemned. 29:41.879 --> 29:45.023 [SPEAKER_04]: Even by other Christians, it's called Friendly Fire. 29:45.724 --> 29:51.953 [SPEAKER_04]: You will be persecuted for the decisions that you make, if the decisions that you make are biblical. 29:52.173 --> 29:54.416 [SPEAKER_04]: We know that God loves life. 29:54.696 --> 29:56.659 [SPEAKER_04]: We also see the devil, hating life. 29:56.679 --> 29:58.582 [SPEAKER_04]: He's out to steal, kill, and destroy. 29:58.622 --> 30:01.626 [SPEAKER_04]: That is the entire pro-choice movement. 30:01.606 --> 30:03.167 [SPEAKER_04]: Seth Gruber says at best, right? 30:03.207 --> 30:14.458 [SPEAKER_04]: When he talks about their theme, their mantra, this is my body, I'll do whatever I want and how that is so counterfeit to what Jesus Christ himself said on the cross. 30:14.478 --> 30:23.185 [SPEAKER_04]: When he said this, when he actually was at the last supper, when he was breaking bread and doing communion, this is my body broken for you for the forgiveness of your sins. 30:23.706 --> 30:31.613 [SPEAKER_04]: This is my blood shed for you so that you might have eternal life. 30:31.593 --> 30:34.899 [SPEAKER_04]: That is what God modeled for us. 30:34.939 --> 30:43.573 [SPEAKER_04]: That's what He calls us to and when you're a shepherd and you are representing Christ to your children and you're discipling them, you are to model selflessness. 30:44.194 --> 30:47.239 [SPEAKER_04]: And sometimes that means making hard decisions. 30:47.219 --> 30:51.966 [SPEAKER_04]: that are not all about you, like the pro-choice move is like, this is my body. 30:52.006 --> 30:52.907 [SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to do what I want. 30:53.208 --> 30:55.311 [SPEAKER_04]: That's like the epitome of selfishness, right? 30:55.331 --> 30:56.873 [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's a lacking of understanding. 30:56.913 --> 30:57.474 [SPEAKER_02]: That scripture. 30:57.494 --> 31:01.841 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a lacking of understanding and spiritual battle that really exists every single day. 31:01.861 --> 31:03.844 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, how many angels are in heaven? 31:03.904 --> 31:05.346 [SPEAKER_02]: You think about that question and 31:05.579 --> 31:12.488 [SPEAKER_02]: No, nobody knows the answer, but it does say thousand times a thousand in Revelation 12.4 I believe it was a thousand times. 31:12.508 --> 31:13.529 [SPEAKER_02]: In myriad, it's a myriad. 31:13.549 --> 31:13.830 [SPEAKER_02]: A myriad. 31:13.870 --> 31:15.031 [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's a thousand. 31:15.412 --> 31:21.880 [SPEAKER_02]: It's used in other places when Jesus was born in the shepherd's sauce, so many in the sky, they couldn't count. 31:22.701 --> 31:23.923 [SPEAKER_02]: A multitude. 31:24.003 --> 31:25.344 [SPEAKER_02]: It was referred to as a multitude. 31:26.105 --> 31:29.730 [SPEAKER_02]: And then actually in Revelation 12.4 actually is where 31:29.710 --> 31:54.559 [SPEAKER_02]: it talks about the red dragon which is Satan knocked a third of the stars down to the ground and theologians across the board believe those were angels and the stars and so you know you have one third of an innumerable number, too many to count thousands of times a thousand, I mean just huge number of angels and one third got cast down to earth and fallen angels are called demons. 31:54.579 --> 31:55.380 [SPEAKER_02]: And so 31:55.360 --> 32:07.952 [SPEAKER_02]: The demonic is there, I mean, and the whispers are happening in many people, even convincing great way, you know, nominal Christians and things to say weird things to you. 32:08.287 --> 32:13.794 [SPEAKER_02]: I think that happens, I mean, Christians can't be possessed, but they can be tormented. 32:13.814 --> 32:19.340 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, press, they can be, you know, the lies, the lies can be percolating. 32:19.861 --> 32:35.340 [SPEAKER_02]: And we have to be, in the word, we have to not be naive that there is a real spiritual battle to cause your marriage to be weak, to cause you to make weak decisions, to cause you not to continue to grow your capacity to fall in the trap that comfort in ease is 32:35.708 --> 32:41.835 [SPEAKER_02]: and to build a weak foundation for your family based on weaker decisions than what's best that God may have for you. 32:42.175 --> 32:45.059 [SPEAKER_02]: So it's really, really important that we consider that. 32:45.139 --> 32:48.142 [SPEAKER_02]: See your vision must be stronger than your challenges. 32:48.703 --> 32:57.253 [SPEAKER_02]: Your vision for what is ahead must be so compelling that it's bigger and it carries you through those challenging times. 32:57.333 --> 33:05.462 [SPEAKER_04]: I think that one thing that is hard is this concept of taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, which is second Corinthians 10, five. 33:05.442 --> 33:08.105 [SPEAKER_04]: we are all called as Christians to take every thought. 33:08.145 --> 33:09.306 [SPEAKER_04]: That's not just our own thoughts. 33:09.526 --> 33:12.450 [SPEAKER_04]: It's the thoughts that we have in conversations with other people. 33:12.690 --> 33:15.713 [SPEAKER_04]: It's the thoughts, memes that are on social media. 33:16.434 --> 33:21.099 [SPEAKER_04]: It's the thoughts from family members who also have a will for your life. 33:21.119 --> 33:27.866 [SPEAKER_04]: I think that that was a realization I didn't even come across until, probably, 17, 18 years into marriage. 33:28.507 --> 33:32.091 [SPEAKER_04]: I realized that there were so many people that had a will for my life. 33:32.527 --> 33:33.528 [SPEAKER_04]: isn't that interesting? 33:33.929 --> 33:35.451 [SPEAKER_04]: And what's the only thing that matters? 33:35.731 --> 33:36.732 [SPEAKER_04]: God's will for my life. 33:37.133 --> 33:41.418 [SPEAKER_04]: Not only do other people have a will for your life, you have a will that you wrestle with for your own life. 33:42.239 --> 33:47.506 [SPEAKER_04]: So you've got a battle on hand to be able to follow God for his will for your life. 33:47.946 --> 33:54.855 [SPEAKER_04]: That does not mean that you are going to ignore considerations of people who love you. 33:54.835 --> 33:55.256 [SPEAKER_04]: Right? 33:55.736 --> 34:04.788 [SPEAKER_04]: Like I think that God puts people in your life who love you to help you to really truly understand the depth of the decisions that you make. 34:04.989 --> 34:06.450 [SPEAKER_04]: And it's important to listen to them. 34:06.731 --> 34:07.632 [SPEAKER_02]: And we all have blind spots. 34:07.652 --> 34:07.932 [SPEAKER_04]: We do. 34:07.993 --> 34:08.954 [SPEAKER_04]: We all have blind spots. 34:09.034 --> 34:10.256 [SPEAKER_04]: And we all make mistakes. 34:10.276 --> 34:11.838 [SPEAKER_04]: And we all have failures. 34:11.878 --> 34:15.122 [SPEAKER_04]: And I would say that when we were parents in the younger years, 34:15.102 --> 34:17.464 [SPEAKER_04]: Obviously, we were brand new parents. 34:17.704 --> 34:22.669 [SPEAKER_04]: So brand new parents make the most mistakes at first, because you really don't know what you're doing. 34:23.090 --> 34:26.313 [SPEAKER_04]: I even think of like our sweet, beloved firstborn. 34:27.534 --> 34:29.416 [SPEAKER_04]: And how many times did I pull her out of school? 34:29.536 --> 34:31.418 [SPEAKER_04]: Three, four times actually, right? 34:31.458 --> 34:32.579 [SPEAKER_04]: So she went to a preschool. 34:32.759 --> 34:34.100 [SPEAKER_04]: She was there for six weeks, bolder out. 34:34.380 --> 34:35.341 [SPEAKER_04]: Put her in a different preschool. 34:35.541 --> 34:36.703 [SPEAKER_04]: That lasted a week, pulled her out. 34:37.243 --> 34:41.307 [SPEAKER_04]: And then she was at home for a little while, put her in a monastery school, pulled her out. 34:41.767 --> 34:43.489 [SPEAKER_04]: Put her in first grade, pulled her out! 34:43.469 --> 34:46.193 [SPEAKER_02]: And none of that was because you were working your stay home mom. 34:46.254 --> 34:51.823 [SPEAKER_04]: No, it was purely really wrestling with the decision of do we home school or not. 34:52.043 --> 34:55.789 [SPEAKER_04]: And truly wanting, I honestly didn't want to home school. 34:56.150 --> 34:57.652 [SPEAKER_04]: I was still being sanctified. 34:58.333 --> 35:00.617 [SPEAKER_04]: I was being really not. 35:00.597 --> 35:05.106 [SPEAKER_04]: willing to put in all of the hard work because I also had made an idol out of academics. 35:05.126 --> 35:10.176 [SPEAKER_04]: And I thought that it had a look like the public education system or better if I was going to do it. 35:10.677 --> 35:17.290 [SPEAKER_04]: But part of that was also because of the pressure in the environment and culture around me that it had to look. 35:17.270 --> 35:20.876 [SPEAKER_04]: Like, it had to be better otherwise just put her over here. 35:21.336 --> 35:27.326 [SPEAKER_04]: But in my gut, I knew what God was personally calling me to, and I was really struggling to be obedient. 35:27.346 --> 35:28.628 [SPEAKER_04]: I'm just confessing the truth. 35:29.068 --> 35:33.996 [SPEAKER_04]: Those younger years were the most formative years for me as a mom. 35:33.976 --> 35:34.937 [SPEAKER_04]: of course they were. 35:35.218 --> 35:36.359 [SPEAKER_04]: I had never been a mom before. 35:36.920 --> 35:54.364 [SPEAKER_04]: So every single mom goes through this experience and I think that the more honest moms, the more real honest moms who are willing to say yeah, I failed my kid because we all failed because we're all human and no one is perfect, no not one, not one is righteous, not one. 35:54.344 --> 35:57.110 [SPEAKER_04]: and we know that we're all fallen in fall short of the glory of God. 35:57.571 --> 36:13.804 [SPEAKER_04]: And so recognizing that the first one, people joke about them being an experiment and that they at the poor child like and I would say that that is 100% true in regards to my decision regarding homeschooling. 36:13.784 --> 36:18.034 [SPEAKER_04]: I, you see the evidence of that with just how many decisions I made now. 36:18.134 --> 36:19.177 [SPEAKER_04]: Did she make it out? 36:19.277 --> 36:20.640 [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, she graduated. 36:20.720 --> 36:24.510 [SPEAKER_04]: We're so proud of her and she's very smart, very intelligent. 36:24.550 --> 36:28.519 [SPEAKER_04]: She won many scholarships had a very high SAT score does any of that matter. 36:30.473 --> 36:36.524 [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, I'm proud of her, but like in the end, when it comes to homeschooling, does is that the sign that you did it? 36:36.584 --> 36:45.560 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, like I think that the discipleship, it's the, yes, be it with the hearts, you know, connecting hearts and relationships and sibling relationships. 36:45.580 --> 36:46.782 [SPEAKER_04]: There's so much more to it. 36:46.802 --> 36:49.046 [SPEAKER_04]: And honestly, there's, there is so much more to it. 36:49.066 --> 36:52.853 [SPEAKER_04]: We did an entire podcast episode on 11 reasons why we homeschool. 36:52.833 --> 36:56.519 [SPEAKER_04]: And I also have a blog post on it with a whole other video. 36:56.679 --> 37:00.185 [SPEAKER_04]: If you are wrestling with that decision, we're we're praying for you guys. 37:00.205 --> 37:01.928 [SPEAKER_04]: We get that it's a hard decision. 37:02.068 --> 37:03.270 [SPEAKER_04]: We have totally been there. 37:03.671 --> 37:08.679 [SPEAKER_04]: Sometimes it's easy to look at people like, you know, Isaac and Angie, we've been parenting for a long time. 37:08.700 --> 37:10.583 [SPEAKER_04]: We're speaking at home school conferences. 37:10.683 --> 37:13.187 [SPEAKER_04]: We've been homeschooling for 22 years. 37:13.167 --> 37:15.409 [SPEAKER_04]: Um, I've been homeschooling 22 years. 37:15.470 --> 37:16.150 [SPEAKER_04]: It's easy to go. 37:16.691 --> 37:20.715 [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, she never struggled and to make some assumptions, those are lies from the enemy. 37:20.735 --> 37:22.457 [SPEAKER_04]: Those are thoughts that need to be taken captive. 37:22.497 --> 37:37.274 [SPEAKER_04]: That's what I mean and I remember being that young mom and looking at some older moms who had graduated kids from homeschooling going, oh my goodness, if I go down this path, I'm going to be homeschooling for 30 years and I never wanted to be a teacher. 37:37.374 --> 37:38.415 [SPEAKER_04]: That was my truth. 37:38.395 --> 37:42.319 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, and I remember you also thinking there's no way I can do it in the teenagers. 37:42.339 --> 37:43.340 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm just not long enough. 37:43.640 --> 37:45.822 [SPEAKER_02]: I must learn enough to teach them all these things. 37:46.002 --> 37:46.883 [SPEAKER_04]: I believe that lie. 37:46.903 --> 37:51.067 [SPEAKER_04]: I believed I had to have a degree in every single subject in in order to be qualified to teach it. 37:51.528 --> 37:59.475 [SPEAKER_04]: But with technology today, there are so many things that you can utilize and people if you're in the body of Christ. 37:59.535 --> 38:07.423 [SPEAKER_04]: Can I just say if you're in the body of Christ and you allow community to step in and fill in the gaps where you're maybe 38:07.403 --> 38:08.665 [SPEAKER_04]: It is a beautiful thing. 38:08.725 --> 38:13.372 [SPEAKER_04]: It gives purpose to those tightest two men and women in your church, be able to teach the things that you don't know. 38:13.632 --> 38:14.414 [SPEAKER_02]: So let's talk about. 38:14.474 --> 38:15.916 [SPEAKER_02]: We've talked just about a few examples. 38:15.976 --> 38:21.925 [SPEAKER_02]: This real off-summing samples of where you need to be courageous and making good decisions in your years and how important they are. 38:21.965 --> 38:27.353 [SPEAKER_02]: How about what you drop your children off to or not, or maybe not at all? 38:28.345 --> 38:39.520 [SPEAKER_02]: These are decisions you have to make and what age are you going to are you going to put them into child care places where someone else is taking them to the bathroom or changing their diaper. 38:39.854 --> 38:40.756 [SPEAKER_02]: in this day and age. 38:40.856 --> 38:42.338 [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I'd be thought through those things. 38:42.398 --> 38:44.282 [SPEAKER_02]: Are you, you know, extended family? 38:44.903 --> 38:47.988 [SPEAKER_02]: What, what, where are, what's allowed? 38:48.028 --> 38:49.150 [SPEAKER_02]: What are you guys going to do? 38:49.671 --> 38:51.394 [SPEAKER_02]: All these things need to be figured out? 38:51.975 --> 38:57.625 [SPEAKER_02]: You never sacrifice the safety and well-being of your children for any other relationship. 38:57.805 --> 39:01.812 [SPEAKER_02]: But the goal is that you pursue all relationships at the same time. 39:02.332 --> 39:04.055 [SPEAKER_04]: No, that's so good. 39:04.115 --> 39:15.498 [SPEAKER_04]: You do, you can pursue relationships while also still having healthy boundaries, but I think that parents today have a different challenge than in different, even than we did with our first three kids. 39:16.179 --> 39:20.728 [SPEAKER_04]: And the reason why I say that is because technology has changed so much. 39:20.708 --> 39:23.573 [SPEAKER_04]: I'm just going to take the P word for a second point. 39:23.794 --> 39:29.885 [SPEAKER_04]: The rates of addiction to sexual sin is just growing. 39:29.965 --> 39:35.436 [SPEAKER_04]: It massive, massive rates and there's some harms to kids. 39:35.476 --> 39:38.962 [SPEAKER_04]: There's harms to kids in mass quantities that did not. 39:39.002 --> 39:40.405 [SPEAKER_04]: They were not the same. 39:40.385 --> 39:53.738 [SPEAKER_04]: when we were raising our first three kids, and when I was a teenager, I even remember there wasn't this, you didn't see rainbow flags that were representing the LGBTQ community and in your face everywhere. 39:54.079 --> 40:00.405 [SPEAKER_04]: You didn't have grocery stores that were pushing trans gender underwear and swimsuits. 40:00.425 --> 40:07.472 [SPEAKER_04]: Literally, it is a totally different childhood for your kids than it was for me. 40:07.452 --> 40:09.515 [SPEAKER_02]: Can I just share one little thing to add on to that? 40:10.036 --> 40:14.343 [SPEAKER_02]: I, this didn't make it into my sermon, but I did the research for a sermon. 40:14.383 --> 40:19.511 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to give it to all of you, which is there's this thing called only fans. 40:19.531 --> 40:21.594 [SPEAKER_02]: You might have heard of it, it's in the news sometimes. 40:22.155 --> 40:32.211 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, it's where women can set up their own little, I guess, page on a site and they display themselves in all the ways they want and men pay for it. 40:32.731 --> 40:34.653 [SPEAKER_02]: and subscribe to it or something like that. 40:34.673 --> 40:35.714 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not quite sure how it works. 40:36.114 --> 40:44.181 [SPEAKER_02]: What I do know, I was trying to figure out, I was very curious how many adults in America have accounts with only fans. 40:44.802 --> 40:48.685 [SPEAKER_02]: And some of these women are making millions, millions, 300 million dollars, the kind of things. 40:49.706 --> 40:55.351 [SPEAKER_02]: And so, in fact, the government's thinking about how can we tax this better, and I saw that in the news. 40:55.431 --> 40:57.854 [SPEAKER_02]: But anyways, how many adults have accounts? 40:57.894 --> 40:59.075 [SPEAKER_02]: We can't find that number. 40:59.115 --> 41:02.738 [SPEAKER_02]: That number doesn't exist, they're not going to give it to you, 41:02.988 --> 41:25.975 [SPEAKER_02]: how many accounts are there with only only fans uh and i think it's 377 million accounts or something like that i can't remember the exact math and then you figure out well how many how how many accounts are in america i think it's anyways the math ends up working out when i found these other different numbers is 69% of adults have only fans account in america 41:26.056 --> 41:29.420 [SPEAKER_04]: because you can't get an account unless you're over a certain age or 18. 41:29.460 --> 41:30.741 [SPEAKER_04]: So you know that it's adults. 41:30.761 --> 41:31.502 [SPEAKER_02]: I know it's adults. 41:31.542 --> 41:39.810 [SPEAKER_02]: So it's 18 year olds plus 69% of adults in America have an only fans account. 41:39.951 --> 41:46.517 [SPEAKER_02]: If the stats that they're putting out are accurate and extrapolate, then you do the math, it's 69%. 41:46.818 --> 41:48.860 [SPEAKER_02]: So that is crazy. 41:48.880 --> 41:50.261 [SPEAKER_02]: That's the world we're living in. 41:50.381 --> 41:53.785 [SPEAKER_02]: And for sure, like let's just make a guess for a second. 41:53.765 --> 41:59.676 [SPEAKER_02]: what is the difference between non-Christians and people that say they're Christians in the percentage that have accounts. 42:00.197 --> 42:02.761 [SPEAKER_02]: I bet you there is a small difference. 42:03.563 --> 42:08.251 [SPEAKER_02]: I bet you it's slightly smaller on the Christian side, only slightly. 42:08.973 --> 42:12.499 [SPEAKER_02]: Because you have to look at the percentage of men, 42:12.682 --> 42:13.663 [SPEAKER_02]: whether they're Christian or not. 42:13.683 --> 42:16.627 [SPEAKER_02]: They're looking at pornography and it's almost the same. 42:16.647 --> 42:17.488 [SPEAKER_04]: It's very similar. 42:17.508 --> 42:18.570 [SPEAKER_04]: It's a 90% right? 42:18.590 --> 42:23.036 [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, it's like some stats approach 9, 98, 90% of men. 42:24.317 --> 42:27.601 [SPEAKER_02]: Some stats are like, I used to look at Josh.org for that and things like that. 42:28.042 --> 42:29.003 [SPEAKER_04]: So Josh McDowell. 42:29.023 --> 42:29.764 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 42:29.784 --> 42:32.448 [SPEAKER_02]: So, but they've since that sold that to someone else. 42:32.468 --> 42:35.392 [SPEAKER_02]: But anyways, the stats are crazy. 42:35.412 --> 42:40.258 [SPEAKER_02]: So, you know, if you have stats like that that are exist out there, 42:40.238 --> 42:52.155 [SPEAKER_02]: Are you going to invest, like if you're a business person, and 90% chance that you're going to pick a wrong customer, are you going to be more careful in the right customer? 42:52.175 --> 42:55.920 [SPEAKER_02]: Are you just going to shift what kind of business you have so you can have different kinds of customers? 42:56.601 --> 42:57.121 [SPEAKER_02]: You know what I mean? 42:57.302 --> 43:01.688 [SPEAKER_02]: It's like, whoa, those are so when you leave your kids somewhere, what are the odds? 43:01.808 --> 43:04.872 [SPEAKER_02]: The chances that that person really is walking strong? 43:05.333 --> 43:09.098 [SPEAKER_02]: That person is not addicted to pornography, that person is not looking at the wrong 43:09.196 --> 43:15.005 [SPEAKER_02]: And now with, you know, adults being so attracted to young people, that's crazy. 43:15.666 --> 43:18.229 [SPEAKER_02]: And, you know what, you look at the stats I see this all the time. 43:18.810 --> 43:27.944 [SPEAKER_02]: The number of teachers in the public education that are abused sexually abusing children, you know, here's the alarming thing, a higher percentage of them now are women. 43:28.244 --> 43:31.609 [SPEAKER_02]: And so, what is going on? 43:32.483 --> 43:42.421 [SPEAKER_04]: I shudder to think, we are all going to be held accountable by God by what happens on our watch with our kids. 43:42.682 --> 43:47.691 [SPEAKER_04]: It is our jurisdiction as parents to be the providers and protectors of our children. 43:47.671 --> 44:01.007 [SPEAKER_04]: although God is the ultimate protector and God is the ultimate provider, but that truth about who he is is image-bearing and an example for us as parents and how we are supposed to take care of our children because that's how he takes care of us his children. 44:01.247 --> 44:01.828 [SPEAKER_04]: Do you see that? 44:02.128 --> 44:13.982 [SPEAKER_04]: So if we, as parents understand our very real responsibility and we're honest, we take the Rose Tinnon glasses off and we're honest about the real battle that is at hand, 44:13.962 --> 44:17.706 [SPEAKER_04]: it will change the decisions that we make as parents. 44:18.146 --> 44:18.487 [SPEAKER_04]: It will. 44:19.228 --> 44:19.828 [SPEAKER_04]: And you know what? 44:19.888 --> 44:24.693 [SPEAKER_04]: The people that give the biggest pushback since 90 percent, 9 out of 10 men. 44:25.114 --> 44:27.396 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if that's exactly right, but it's very high. 44:27.516 --> 44:30.479 [SPEAKER_04]: But it's very high and I'm sure it's high for women too. 44:30.920 --> 44:33.863 [SPEAKER_04]: If it's that high, I would almost be willing to bet. 44:33.983 --> 44:42.552 [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm not going to blame anybody here, but you know what my conscience says to me, someone who is pushing back on my decision to not do 44:42.532 --> 44:44.634 [SPEAKER_04]: likely has some kind of secrets in. 44:45.295 --> 44:53.965 [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm not going to trust them in that, because either that or they are potentially not aware of the reality of the world. 44:54.366 --> 44:56.568 [SPEAKER_04]: And that's true of a lot of the older generations. 44:56.648 --> 45:09.383 [SPEAKER_04]: Like I was in a conversation with an older, older person at church yesterday and we were talking about something in regards to swimming and and showering and things and she said, did you know that people and she just start, you know, she sharing some things with me 45:09.363 --> 45:17.775 [SPEAKER_04]: And I went, well, actually, and I shared some of these statistics of the reality of our world, and she didn't even know that some of these things existed, and that it was a problem. 45:18.416 --> 45:20.800 [SPEAKER_04]: And I was like, the world is not the same. 45:21.360 --> 45:22.702 [SPEAKER_02]: As it was, you raised your head. 45:22.722 --> 45:26.888 [SPEAKER_02]: Here you have, by larger part, love the bread of Christ, but churches are making the same decisions. 45:26.928 --> 45:30.454 [SPEAKER_02]: They did 20 years ago about how they do things with kids and things like that. 45:30.954 --> 45:36.743 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, parents are largely making the same trust to decisions, kind of blind trust decisions. 45:36.883 --> 45:38.425 [SPEAKER_04]: Just because someone says they're Christians. 45:38.405 --> 45:40.268 [SPEAKER_04]: because someone says, or it's at a church. 45:41.329 --> 45:44.735 [SPEAKER_02]: And so, I mean, I hate talking like this because I love the bread of Christ. 45:45.316 --> 45:48.440 [SPEAKER_02]: But as a parent, I'm just gonna make different decisions. 45:48.721 --> 45:59.477 [SPEAKER_04]: But I think that what it is though is recognizing, what it is though is it's again, it's like, let's take the rose tinted glasses off and view the world through a biblical lens. 45:59.918 --> 46:01.220 [SPEAKER_04]: It's always been fallen. 46:01.460 --> 46:02.522 [SPEAKER_04]: No one, 46:02.502 --> 46:13.334 [SPEAKER_04]: In Noah's day, God was so saddened, broken-hearted, grieved, mad, over the sin of the world that he did a clean swipe. 46:13.495 --> 46:14.456 [SPEAKER_04]: He did a clean swipe. 46:14.716 --> 46:15.417 [SPEAKER_04]: It was that bad. 46:16.058 --> 46:17.599 [SPEAKER_04]: And then we see Sodom and Gomorrah. 46:17.980 --> 46:19.341 [SPEAKER_04]: There's also Babylon. 46:19.421 --> 46:26.029 [SPEAKER_04]: There have been many times through a biblical history where we have seen these are not new sins. 46:26.009 --> 46:27.891 [SPEAKER_04]: by any stretch of the imagination. 46:27.951 --> 46:33.638 [SPEAKER_04]: The things that are happening today, there were more vile things happening even in the Church of Corinth. 46:33.658 --> 46:37.923 [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, I think that a lot of those things are still quiet and probably going to be coming out more and more. 46:38.183 --> 46:50.397 [SPEAKER_04]: But we cannot, we cannot start believing the lie that the devil is placed in the world, that sin doesn't exist, that evil's not here, or that America's safer, I'm sorry. 46:50.377 --> 46:52.360 [SPEAKER_04]: It there is a spiritual battle. 46:52.500 --> 46:56.465 [SPEAKER_04]: We battle not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities and dark places. 46:56.886 --> 47:07.780 [SPEAKER_04]: And the truth is is that there is sinfulness, deceitfulness, and demonic temptation that is existing everywhere in the world today. 47:07.800 --> 47:10.584 [SPEAKER_02]: It's unprecedented now because it can be scaled through technology. 47:10.944 --> 47:16.992 [SPEAKER_02]: So scaled as a business term of scaling of having something and then leveraging it through a channel. 47:16.972 --> 47:20.077 [SPEAKER_02]: make it just massive. 47:20.097 --> 47:28.351 [SPEAKER_02]: Now technology enables us to be scaled massive and send to be the fingertips of every person in a more massive way. 47:28.652 --> 47:32.278 [SPEAKER_04]: Right, but I just want to go back to who we're talking to here. 47:32.478 --> 47:36.304 [SPEAKER_04]: We are not trying to discourage your scare or fear, longer, anybody. 47:36.324 --> 47:41.393 [SPEAKER_04]: We're literally talking reality and there's not enough reality being talked about from the pulpit. 47:41.513 --> 47:42.675 [SPEAKER_04]: I'm just going to be honest. 47:42.655 --> 47:48.500 [SPEAKER_04]: there isn't enough parenting discipleship happening from pulpits around the nation either. 47:49.181 --> 47:57.468 [SPEAKER_04]: And there isn't enough encouragement for people when they do make the better hard biblical decisions, there just isn't the support of that. 47:57.628 --> 48:01.411 [SPEAKER_04]: Instead people get condemned from their brothers and sisters in Christ. 48:01.471 --> 48:12.240 [SPEAKER_04]: And so I remember that being like the hardest, I remember when we did finally decide to homeschool and I did not have encouragement from family. 48:12.220 --> 48:13.283 [SPEAKER_04]: that is my reality. 48:13.964 --> 48:18.676 [SPEAKER_04]: Now I have support from my mom, but like the I did not at first. 48:19.137 --> 48:23.127 [SPEAKER_04]: And of course, that was 23, 22 years ago we were trying to decide. 48:23.869 --> 48:29.402 [SPEAKER_04]: And so I get that it wasn't what it is today, but it was awesome then. 48:29.382 --> 48:30.443 [SPEAKER_04]: It was awesome. 48:30.824 --> 48:42.619 [SPEAKER_04]: When I remember just the freedom to think about all of the things like, what is it that's most important to Isaac and I that we want our kids to grow up learning and how much fun this is going to be to learn with them. 48:42.959 --> 48:49.247 [SPEAKER_04]: It's kind of like when your kids learn to read for the first time outside and it is how they lose a tooth for the first time and you're there to celebrate with them and high five of them. 48:49.227 --> 48:51.790 [SPEAKER_04]: like it's just like every milestone you get to celebrate. 48:51.870 --> 48:52.571 [SPEAKER_04]: It's super fun. 48:52.991 --> 48:53.091 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. 48:53.111 --> 48:56.615 [SPEAKER_04]: But there's like, there's those parts of it that are awesome. 48:56.695 --> 49:17.378 [SPEAKER_04]: But then there is the sanctifying part that's like, oh, I said, yes, to homeschool and I didn't realize that I was going to be disciplining and dealing with sin all day long and like having the perseverance and the endurance to be faithful and consistent in that and how, you know, and in that in the midst of having a new baby again. 49:17.358 --> 49:34.253 [SPEAKER_04]: or nursing again and so it's it's literally like you have to be a team you have to have that alignment because you're going to need the encouragement of your spouse in the decisions that you make together to stand firm actually it really is a marriage issue a lot of times is that 49:34.233 --> 49:36.455 [SPEAKER_02]: Either the marriage, I think I've said it's a couple times. 49:36.556 --> 49:58.260 [SPEAKER_02]: It's important either marriage is spurring each other into weaker decisions or stronger decisions and a large part has to do with how much we're in the world also has to do if they're in biblical community You're not a really strong courageous type Christians not just Christians, but courageous Christians who understand the world has changed We need to be more intentional. 49:58.280 --> 50:00.122 [SPEAKER_02]: We need to be intentional in the right ways 50:00.102 --> 50:02.106 [SPEAKER_02]: and we created a guidebook for that. 50:02.287 --> 50:04.371 [SPEAKER_02]: We don't go to the ultimate guidebook is the Bible. 50:04.692 --> 50:11.205 [SPEAKER_02]: But we took the scriptures that have to do with parenting and relevant to the issues of today and put it into a book called Courageous Parenting. 50:11.526 --> 50:13.250 [SPEAKER_02]: We would love to have you on the launch team. 50:13.530 --> 50:16.617 [SPEAKER_02]: Make sure you go to bcragisminister.org, forward slash book. 50:16.657 --> 50:20.625 [SPEAKER_02]: You can go to the show notes at Courageousparenting.com, hit the link to join our launch team. 50:20.605 --> 50:21.306 [SPEAKER_02]: as well. 50:21.487 --> 50:25.636 [SPEAKER_02]: And we're so excited about this being out there because people need it. 50:25.656 --> 50:26.778 [SPEAKER_02]: 31 chapters. 50:26.798 --> 50:31.568 [SPEAKER_02]: 31 things that are important when you're raising your children no matter what season you're in. 50:31.628 --> 50:35.256 [SPEAKER_02]: These things are vital to be doing in unprecedented times. 50:35.793 --> 50:43.824 [SPEAKER_04]: You know, I just want to end with some encouragements for Ceciloni and S521 says, but test everything and hold fast to what is good. 50:43.844 --> 50:46.949 [SPEAKER_04]: And that is something that we're all called to do, right? 50:46.989 --> 50:47.930 [SPEAKER_04]: To test everything. 50:47.950 --> 50:51.435 [SPEAKER_04]: And so you have to make your pros and cons less. 50:51.455 --> 50:51.916 [SPEAKER_04]: You have to. 50:52.296 --> 51:00.788 [SPEAKER_04]: And the reality is, is different people have different circumstances in their life that are gonna change one person's pros and cons less from another person's pros and cons less. 51:00.768 --> 51:11.225 [SPEAKER_04]: And so while you may think like okay this is the best decision like I firmly 100% believe that homeschooling my children was the right decision for the toll pin family. 51:11.826 --> 51:21.983 [SPEAKER_04]: I believe that was a right decision because we were called to it and because we saw fruit in it and because I was very honest with myself about the alternatives. 51:21.963 --> 51:23.987 [SPEAKER_04]: and I tested the alternatives. 51:24.308 --> 51:28.597 [SPEAKER_04]: I dug, you guys remember, I did not want to homeschool, actually. 51:29.239 --> 51:31.965 [SPEAKER_04]: And that's why our first was in and out of school four times. 51:32.526 --> 51:38.699 [SPEAKER_04]: But, and I, I feel sad when I think about that just because that could have been traumatic, I think she survived pretty well. 51:38.980 --> 51:40.984 [SPEAKER_02]: But, there was, I think it was an issue, was it? 51:41.183 --> 51:41.984 [SPEAKER_04]: No, no, no. 51:42.044 --> 51:43.066 [SPEAKER_04]: She, I'm just joking. 51:43.347 --> 51:44.549 [SPEAKER_04]: But it was fun. 51:44.589 --> 52:00.156 [SPEAKER_04]: She thought that it was fun going and when I brought her home, there was a transition time that can be hard and I'm bringing it up because there are times in your parenting where you start to make the right decision and then you might get swayed by the culture again. 52:00.557 --> 52:01.518 [SPEAKER_04]: That's what was happening to me. 52:01.999 --> 52:06.567 [SPEAKER_04]: I was getting swayed by my selfishness because I 52:06.547 --> 52:14.357 [SPEAKER_04]: I was getting swayed by what other people were doing because I struggled with being a people pleaser and not fearing man and being obedient to what God was calling me to. 52:15.138 --> 52:20.265 [SPEAKER_04]: And so I know that me sharing these truths of what I remember I struggled with back then. 52:20.946 --> 52:23.389 [SPEAKER_04]: I know that there are moms that struggle with this today. 52:23.749 --> 52:30.017 [SPEAKER_04]: That are fearing what their parents are gonna think if they choose to do X, Y, and Z, or choose not to do them, right? 52:30.338 --> 52:35.845 [SPEAKER_04]: Like when we stopped and we were like, no, we will not be celebrating Halloween. 52:35.825 --> 52:41.833 [SPEAKER_04]: There were hardly any Christians, actually didn't even know any at the time that we're making the decision that we were making. 52:42.233 --> 52:47.140 [SPEAKER_04]: And here I am buying books and trying to figure out what we believe and there was like only one on the topic. 52:47.320 --> 52:47.921 [SPEAKER_04]: And like what? 52:48.261 --> 52:49.363 [SPEAKER_04]: This is a really big deal. 52:49.423 --> 52:51.866 [SPEAKER_04]: Christians should like why aren't there other books written on this? 52:52.407 --> 52:58.575 [SPEAKER_04]: And so I think that like the reality is that Christians today, biblical Christians are waking up. 52:58.555 --> 53:06.468 [SPEAKER_04]: And they are seeing that there is this need for us to be bold and to be strong, but we have to be careful where we get advice. 53:06.488 --> 53:07.610 [SPEAKER_04]: I'm just swinging it back to that. 53:07.810 --> 53:11.937 [SPEAKER_04]: Psalm says, blessed is the man who walks not in the council of the wicked. 53:12.177 --> 53:16.564 [SPEAKER_04]: Nor sit, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of 53:16.544 --> 53:21.752 [SPEAKER_04]: but his delight is in the law of the Lord and on his law he meditates day and night. 53:22.032 --> 53:24.576 [SPEAKER_04]: Guys, we have to be careful who we get our advice from. 53:24.656 --> 53:29.723 [SPEAKER_04]: Do not get your advice from the council, the wicked or people that are scoffing godliness. 53:30.284 --> 53:40.559 [SPEAKER_04]: Like, if someone is like making fun of Christians who don't listen to secular music, which is a personal conviction, Romans 14 talks about to one man somethings into another. 53:40.599 --> 53:41.100 [SPEAKER_04]: It is not. 53:41.080 --> 53:44.345 [SPEAKER_04]: and that is not something to judge people over, that you know what I mean? 53:44.726 --> 53:49.693 [SPEAKER_04]: However, I do think that when there is sinful stuff, we should not be meditating on sinful things. 53:50.234 --> 53:54.761 [SPEAKER_04]: Some secular music can be totally harmless, but some secular music is evil. 53:55.202 --> 53:57.345 [SPEAKER_04]: You have to discern between evil and good. 53:57.606 --> 53:59.469 [SPEAKER_04]: That is what we're called to do as Christians, right? 53:59.970 --> 54:07.982 [SPEAKER_04]: And so here's the thing, if you are around people who are scoffing those who have set a higher conviction, 54:07.962 --> 54:12.961 [SPEAKER_04]: Be careful to not take advice from them because this says do not sit in the sea of scoffers. 54:12.981 --> 54:14.968 [SPEAKER_02]: I think you mean more conservative conviction. 54:15.117 --> 54:15.417 [SPEAKER_04]: Right. 54:15.437 --> 54:17.320 [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, more conservative conviction. 54:17.340 --> 54:20.405 [SPEAKER_04]: And we talk about this kind of stuff in the book for sure. 54:20.505 --> 54:22.968 [SPEAKER_04]: But I want to end my scripture here. 54:23.008 --> 54:23.749 [SPEAKER_04]: It says verse three. 54:23.890 --> 54:24.751 [SPEAKER_04]: He is like a tree. 54:25.332 --> 54:27.395 [SPEAKER_04]: The one who meditates on the law day and night. 54:27.855 --> 54:32.081 [SPEAKER_04]: He's like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season. 54:32.222 --> 54:34.064 [SPEAKER_04]: And it's leaf does not wither. 54:34.705 --> 54:38.070 [SPEAKER_04]: And all that he does, he prospers. 54:38.050 --> 54:58.852 [SPEAKER_04]: That is the promise that we have from the Lord when we're willing to be that tree that puts our roots down in the streams of living water, which is the word of God, and we're not tying our roots around a person that's golfing, and we're not tying our root around the worldly advice, and we're not tying our root around fear of man and people pleasing. 54:58.972 --> 55:06.640 [SPEAKER_04]: And all of these things are so hard when you're a first-time parent, and I remember it, and I will tell you that, 55:06.620 --> 55:18.975 [SPEAKER_04]: There are even times as you get older and your raised in teens where those same temptations to send will pop their ugly head and it'll tempt you again to be a people pleaser or to go back on. 55:19.336 --> 55:25.323 [SPEAKER_04]: Then that you knew was from the Lord and you have to get back into the word in those times and just go wait. 55:25.563 --> 55:28.587 [SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to be like a treat planted by streams of water. 55:28.827 --> 55:32.712 [SPEAKER_04]: Remember the fruit that God has provided we're going to keep on going. 55:32.843 --> 55:33.325 [SPEAKER_02]: Amen. 55:33.365 --> 55:37.001 [SPEAKER_02]: So only listen to courageous Christian voices. 55:37.362 --> 55:37.804 [SPEAKER_02]: There we go. 55:38.105 --> 55:38.989 [SPEAKER_02]: I hope you enjoyed the show.