WEBVTT 00:02.413 --> 00:03.814 [SPEAKER_00]: Christian parenting. 00:05.795 --> 00:12.841 [SPEAKER_00]: As a homeschool mom, you made that intentional decision to educate your children at home, which means everyone is home with you all the time. 00:13.381 --> 00:17.204 [SPEAKER_00]: And when summer comes, it can be very easy to disengage a little bit. 00:17.804 --> 00:22.308 [SPEAKER_00]: This usually happens because the curriculum is completed and you are mentally and emotionally drained. 00:22.908 --> 00:28.072 [SPEAKER_00]: But you've got that mom guilt hanging over your head, because everyone seems to have an opinion about how you should spend your summer. 00:28.572 --> 00:31.834 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not here to give you a list that will only add more to the burden. 00:32.495 --> 00:37.598 [SPEAKER_00]: Instead, I'd like to encourage you to be intentional about being present and spending time with your children. 00:38.079 --> 00:39.300 [SPEAKER_00]: Just a few little tips here. 00:39.400 --> 00:42.642 [SPEAKER_00]: Today, we'll help you keep your mind focused on what is most important. 00:42.942 --> 00:46.545 [SPEAKER_00]: That you and your children can have a truly great summer. 00:47.364 --> 00:51.387 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to today's episode, I am Lee Nguyen of Little By Little Home School. 00:51.787 --> 01:00.112 [SPEAKER_00]: I am so glad that you are here today and as we get through this first week of June, it's been a crazy one. 01:00.492 --> 01:04.435 [SPEAKER_00]: My family has been preparing for a graduation ceremony and party. 01:04.935 --> 01:10.799 [SPEAKER_00]: This weekend, the goal is to have it on Saturday, so if you could pray for pleasant weather, that would be wonderful. 01:11.259 --> 01:30.042 [SPEAKER_00]: Our ring date is the next day on Sunday, but we're really hoping to be able to pull it off on Saturday, we've got everything in motion and things are cleaned up and all that kind of stuff and we're just looking forward to celebrating the final graduate here at the finish line and I'm going to tell you right now, it is very bitter, sweet. 01:30.983 --> 01:38.245 [SPEAKER_00]: And today's episode is something that really kind of hits home, and it is something that you can apply to no matter what season of life you're in. 01:39.085 --> 01:42.406 [SPEAKER_00]: I am, I need this too, even today. 01:42.586 --> 01:51.588 [SPEAKER_00]: Even with young adults and a team in my home, I need to try to be a bit more fully present, and so I hope that this episode today blesses and encourages you. 01:54.445 --> 02:12.568 [SPEAKER_01]: on of the internet and Pinterest and social media, you find yourself as a mother with a lot of different options and a lot of, we'll say, ability, I guess, mostly the ability to be able to see what other people are doing in their summer, with their families and with their kids. 02:13.028 --> 02:20.469 [SPEAKER_01]: Whereas previously before that, if you were parenting, you only maybe knew what some of your family or some close friends were doing. 02:24.270 --> 02:33.576 [SPEAKER_01]: of basically a complete stranger, even though you feel like you know them, and a lot of that you'll see is going around, and we'll talk about a summer bucket list. 02:33.776 --> 02:36.017 [SPEAKER_01]: Now, I'm not against a summer bucket list. 02:36.037 --> 02:37.318 [SPEAKER_01]: That is absolutely fine. 02:38.219 --> 02:45.363 [SPEAKER_01]: I have used them because I found that it kept me accountable to my word, especially if it was something I said to my kids. 02:45.763 --> 02:46.884 [SPEAKER_01]: We had it out in writing 02:48.965 --> 02:55.989 [SPEAKER_01]: I actually will be more prone to carrying through with it and then instead of procrastinating or putting it off because sometimes these things are some best. 02:56.649 --> 02:57.310 [SPEAKER_01]: Take a lot of time. 02:57.610 --> 02:58.851 [SPEAKER_01]: They take your energy. 02:59.211 --> 03:02.633 [SPEAKER_01]: So I don't want to today to add anything to it. 03:02.693 --> 03:06.095 [SPEAKER_01]: You could have a son or a bucket list or you could be anti-son or bucket list either way. 03:06.195 --> 03:10.497 [SPEAKER_01]: This isn't going to add to that son or bucket list and it's not going to give you one if you don't want to. 03:10.938 --> 03:16.541 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to lay anymore burdens on you and what you feel the pressure of what you need to do. 03:16.941 --> 03:17.782 [SPEAKER_01]: because guess what? 03:18.182 --> 03:21.865 [SPEAKER_01]: I know that you do that to yourself enough. 03:22.846 --> 03:44.422 [SPEAKER_01]: The goal today is just to put a little bug in your ear or maybe to kind of stir something that you've already been feeling or confirm something that you've been feeling and I also want to give you some realistic possibilities with that instead of just this pie in the sky or something that is just not attainable in your season of life. 03:45.750 --> 03:51.955 [SPEAKER_01]: If I close my eyes and I think back to all of the summers with my kids, now I don't remember every single moment. 03:51.995 --> 03:53.616 [SPEAKER_01]: They don't remember every single moment. 03:54.116 --> 04:00.341 [SPEAKER_01]: But I can picture summer very clearly for the many years that we have had summers. 04:00.681 --> 04:00.801 [SPEAKER_01]: And 04:01.642 --> 04:10.587 [SPEAKER_01]: A lot of those are in blocks of time that consist of the four different homes that we have lived in and that we have raised our children in. 04:11.147 --> 04:19.812 [SPEAKER_01]: So I can think specifically of our very first home, it was a townhouse and I had two little children there and they were very small and then we moved to another home. 04:20.273 --> 04:29.258 [SPEAKER_01]: Huge backyard, it was such an amazing place for us to be in that season of life and basically the huge backyard was covered with toys all summer long. 04:29.858 --> 04:54.020 [SPEAKER_01]: we would clean them up to have to mow and then all the little cars and all that you that car that's the yellowish orangeish with the red top we had that we had multiple things and those big wheels and they would be one so I'd find on the side the road if we had one that was pink and purple by daughter drove it around and then she outgrew it and I spray painted it blue for my next kiddo so that was how we did things budget life but then the next 04:55.341 --> 05:04.187 [SPEAKER_01]: had a pool, and so I remember that summer in a very specific way, and then to where we are now, my kids were all a bit older in that summer. 05:04.247 --> 05:08.450 [SPEAKER_01]: The summer's involved a lot of bikes and going around and getting ice cream and that kind of stuff. 05:09.070 --> 05:13.073 [SPEAKER_01]: For me, summer was always a way to balance. 05:13.794 --> 05:17.416 [SPEAKER_01]: Some fun was a little bit of margin to get some things done. 05:17.936 --> 05:22.520 [SPEAKER_01]: It was also a lot for a space for me to breathe. 05:23.260 --> 05:25.041 [SPEAKER_01]: and just do what had to be done. 05:25.541 --> 05:26.321 [SPEAKER_01]: Just life. 05:26.881 --> 05:37.205 [SPEAKER_01]: Because during the homeschool year with adding in the education, even if you do it in the more laid-back way, there just is sometimes that pressure of what you want to accomplish. 05:37.265 --> 05:39.526 [SPEAKER_01]: You have homeschool regulations that you have to meet. 05:39.966 --> 05:46.128 [SPEAKER_01]: And the summer, I was like, wow, I just have to do meals and cleaning and keeping up with the laundry. 05:46.888 --> 06:02.858 [SPEAKER_01]: That's it, quote unquote, it, because it feels to me it felt like such a break in such a relief to have to just do those things and not have to add in the math lessons or the different even the activities that we would go to or co-ops or any of those things. 06:03.098 --> 06:09.361 [SPEAKER_01]: So, it was a good time for myself to be able to connect with my kids just in a different way. 06:09.381 --> 06:11.303 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's how I want you to see this summer is 06:12.083 --> 06:13.284 [SPEAKER_01]: You're still connecting with your kids. 06:13.505 --> 06:21.794 [SPEAKER_01]: I hope that you're connecting with them all year long, but it's just as a time for us to be able to connect with them differently and to be really there, fully present for them. 06:22.235 --> 06:28.502 [SPEAKER_01]: That doesn't mean a hundred percent of the time, I believe that there needs to definitely be times where kids are encouraged to. 06:28.942 --> 06:29.542 [SPEAKER_01]: play on their own. 06:30.043 --> 06:31.064 [SPEAKER_01]: Encourage to be bored. 06:31.204 --> 06:37.028 [SPEAKER_01]: Encourage to just explore and not necessarily have us with them 24-7. 06:37.228 --> 06:39.029 [SPEAKER_01]: That, however, has a caveat. 06:39.549 --> 06:45.193 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not talking about the 18-month-old that is going to get themselves into some type of injury or anything. 06:45.353 --> 06:50.357 [SPEAKER_01]: Obviously, this is kids that can be okay and be safe on their own, whether that's in their room, 06:50.997 --> 07:00.189 [SPEAKER_01]: or that's in the living room with a backyard wherever that is but it's just as a way that we can connect with them and hopefully to be a lot more present just in a different way. 07:00.810 --> 07:01.851 [SPEAKER_01]: So are you ready for it? 07:01.951 --> 07:06.617 [SPEAKER_01]: My three tips and at the end I have a bonus point that I want to make. 07:07.398 --> 07:08.398 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's start with number one. 07:09.039 --> 07:11.300 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's start with the elephant in the room. 07:11.480 --> 07:13.180 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's just get it out there. 07:13.381 --> 07:14.361 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's take care of this. 07:14.941 --> 07:15.521 [SPEAKER_01]: Your phone. 07:15.742 --> 07:17.402 [SPEAKER_00]: New I was going to go there, didn't you? 07:17.462 --> 07:21.784 [SPEAKER_00]: Because it's something that I have to keep my self in check with as well. 07:22.184 --> 07:24.545 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think it's something that we have to continually remind herself. 07:25.045 --> 07:28.407 [SPEAKER_01]: I can put up really great boundaries around my phone. 07:28.887 --> 07:31.388 [SPEAKER_01]: And then it just kind of becomes a slippery slope. 07:31.428 --> 07:36.509 [SPEAKER_01]: Those boundaries just kind of get start pushing aside and we fall back into it. 07:36.549 --> 07:43.930 [SPEAKER_01]: So we're just going to call it out here right now and let's just talk about your phone and how it can impede you being fully present with your kids. 07:44.650 --> 07:53.812 [SPEAKER_01]: Now, I am not going to tell you that you have to lock your phone in a safe for the center and never take it out, not know the past code in order to get the safe open. 07:54.672 --> 07:57.713 [SPEAKER_01]: I know there is a practicality to your phone. 07:58.233 --> 07:59.934 [SPEAKER_01]: You may be schedule appointments. 08:00.194 --> 08:02.235 [SPEAKER_01]: You set up play dates with your friends. 08:02.275 --> 08:04.456 [SPEAKER_01]: You may be order things that your family need. 08:04.936 --> 08:07.857 [SPEAKER_01]: You might use it as far as your own education. 08:07.957 --> 08:10.638 [SPEAKER_01]: You're probably using your phone to listen to this podcast right now. 08:10.998 --> 08:15.200 [SPEAKER_01]: You might be looking things up that your kids are curious about and you don't know the answer to. 08:15.640 --> 08:18.341 [SPEAKER_01]: There's a lot of practicality to our phone. 08:18.741 --> 08:23.023 [SPEAKER_01]: To having this tiny little computer right in the palm of our hands that we can easily 08:23.623 --> 08:29.425 [SPEAKER_01]: slip into our back pocket, drop it into our purse, put it in the diaper bag and it can go with us everywhere. 08:30.266 --> 08:42.991 [SPEAKER_01]: So let's talk about being fully present with having phones and having the internet and access to everything and everybody having access to us 24-7 when it comes to being fully present with your children this summer. 08:43.831 --> 08:47.732 [SPEAKER_01]: How about first just setting some limits to your phone? 08:48.233 --> 08:51.414 [SPEAKER_01]: What can you actually do and it doesn't have to be anything big? 08:52.034 --> 08:58.600 [SPEAKER_01]: You can, if you want, invest in some type of box to put your phone in so that it kind of is in timeout. 08:59.021 --> 09:01.423 [SPEAKER_01]: You can put it into certain modes, whatever. 09:01.663 --> 09:07.648 [SPEAKER_01]: You can decide what's going to fit with you with just start with what are some limits that you can put around it. 09:08.369 --> 09:12.891 [SPEAKER_01]: So some examples would be not turning your phone on for a while in the morning. 09:13.591 --> 09:15.491 [SPEAKER_01]: Every single night, I turn my phone off. 09:15.992 --> 09:17.672 [SPEAKER_01]: It is not in my room. 09:18.192 --> 09:21.813 [SPEAKER_01]: We turn off the internet, and it's not anywhere near us. 09:22.014 --> 09:25.475 [SPEAKER_01]: So yes, you have to go old school if you want to clock by your bed. 09:25.815 --> 09:26.695 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if you said alarm. 09:26.855 --> 09:27.755 [SPEAKER_01]: I do not said alarm. 09:27.795 --> 09:30.496 [SPEAKER_01]: I have not said an alarm in many, many, many, many years. 09:31.037 --> 09:32.117 [SPEAKER_01]: But I do have a clock by my bed. 09:32.777 --> 09:36.199 [SPEAKER_01]: And you can very easily do that in your own home. 09:36.219 --> 09:41.943 [SPEAKER_01]: You can find one for pretty cheap, target, Walmart, Amazon, anywhere online, Walmart, a decent-minimal, I'm lunch and Walmart. 09:42.403 --> 09:43.824 [SPEAKER_01]: Anywhere, you can find one. 09:44.285 --> 09:45.445 [SPEAKER_01]: That way you don't have to have your phone. 09:45.505 --> 09:46.826 [SPEAKER_01]: So back to the limits. 09:47.267 --> 09:48.307 [SPEAKER_01]: I turn off my phone at night. 09:48.627 --> 09:52.090 [SPEAKER_01]: I can, very easily, not turn it back on, it ain't for a while. 09:52.730 --> 09:54.571 [SPEAKER_01]: Now, maybe your husband needs to have access to you. 09:54.591 --> 09:59.395 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe he leaves early in the morning or maybe it's a relative or your mom, somebody. 09:59.835 --> 10:02.277 [SPEAKER_01]: And so that might, this might not be an option for you. 10:02.477 --> 10:07.320 [SPEAKER_01]: But if it is an option for you, I encourage you to just not turn your phone back on for a while. 10:07.600 --> 10:08.361 [SPEAKER_01]: Get up in the morning. 10:08.821 --> 10:12.504 [SPEAKER_01]: Say, I'm not going to turn on my phone until breakfast is done. 10:12.644 --> 10:13.905 [SPEAKER_01]: Everybody is charged on. 10:13.985 --> 10:15.346 [SPEAKER_01]: Everybody is ready for the day. 10:15.706 --> 10:17.207 [SPEAKER_01]: And at that time, I'll turn my phone on. 10:17.567 --> 10:21.250 [SPEAKER_01]: And maybe that is only done in a way that you let people know. 10:21.870 --> 10:28.337 [SPEAKER_01]: Hey, my phone isn't going to be on until 9 a.m., 10 a.m. Whatever time it is, especially then make sure your husband knows that. 10:28.377 --> 10:33.322 [SPEAKER_01]: And if he's not comfortable with that, maybe it's a turn it on and you have it set. 10:33.382 --> 10:38.206 [SPEAKER_01]: So only calls or texts would come through from him, but no other notifications. 10:38.887 --> 10:41.789 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's an option is just not to turn it on the morning and just be there. 10:42.209 --> 10:57.078 [SPEAKER_01]: When they kind of wander out of their room with their bedhead and their sleepy eyes and they're ready for breakfast that you are there, they don't walk in and find you sitting on your phone, even though you're cooking breakfast, but that they just see you and you can just be there. 10:57.259 --> 11:00.621 [SPEAKER_01]: I do find that when the phone is turned on in the morning, 11:01.461 --> 11:14.867 [SPEAKER_01]: I am more prone to continue to check it, but if I don't turn it on the morning, I don't have that urge, kind of like I'm not looking for that dopamine hit anymore, or quite yet, because I haven't, it hasn't quite hit my brain. 11:15.367 --> 11:22.831 [SPEAKER_01]: And so if you don't turn it on, so that's going to be my first suggestion, it's just, is, while the overall suggestion is putting limit on it, and one thing would be maybe to turn, not turn it on the morning. 11:23.331 --> 11:25.072 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it is turning it off in the evening. 11:25.512 --> 11:36.279 [SPEAKER_01]: Earlier, maybe by dinner you turn it off or mostly off, or at least off, and then maybe right before bed you quick turn on, make sure there weren't any text messages or anything that you are setting up for the next day that you need to be aware of. 11:37.300 --> 11:42.103 [SPEAKER_01]: Another thing to really consider and think about is, say you're going outside to the backyard with your kids. 11:42.783 --> 11:43.964 [SPEAKER_01]: Don't bring your phone outside. 11:44.424 --> 11:45.165 [SPEAKER_01]: Leave it in the house. 11:45.745 --> 11:46.165 [SPEAKER_01]: Guess what? 11:46.726 --> 11:47.587 [SPEAKER_01]: It's okay to do that. 11:48.247 --> 11:54.753 [SPEAKER_01]: It's actually a really good thing when you walk outside and you are not holding or carrying your phone in your pocket or something. 11:55.473 --> 11:56.914 [SPEAKER_01]: It's like you feel free, right? 11:57.295 --> 11:59.697 [SPEAKER_01]: So my suggestion would be just to go outside without your phone. 12:00.057 --> 12:07.063 [SPEAKER_01]: Just go out and sit there on your back deck or did out in the grass with the kids or go out and guard and do something without your phone. 12:07.944 --> 12:08.784 [SPEAKER_01]: It can be really 12:09.745 --> 12:16.772 [SPEAKER_01]: Distracting to us when we're with our kids, but it's also sometimes I have to say to myself, it's okay, you can go out and garden, you don't have to listen to a podcast. 12:17.072 --> 12:18.353 [SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to listen to music. 12:18.634 --> 12:23.518 [SPEAKER_01]: Just listen to the birds, listen to the kids playing, just be present with where you are. 12:24.299 --> 12:34.429 [SPEAKER_01]: And overall, it is okay to just let some or many of the moments of your life and the time with your kids to just be memories in your mind. 12:34.769 --> 12:37.552 [SPEAKER_01]: It's okay, not to document everything. 12:38.072 --> 12:43.497 [SPEAKER_01]: What happens when you have 10,000 photos on your phone with tons of videos? 12:43.697 --> 12:44.438 [SPEAKER_01]: What do you do with those? 12:44.458 --> 12:45.759 [SPEAKER_01]: Do they just sit there? 12:46.720 --> 12:46.980 [SPEAKER_01]: Really? 12:47.120 --> 12:47.440 [SPEAKER_01]: They do. 12:47.781 --> 12:48.962 [SPEAKER_01]: Mine just sit there. 12:49.642 --> 12:52.765 [SPEAKER_01]: And the memories in our mind, we will sometimes forget those. 12:52.785 --> 12:54.186 [SPEAKER_01]: We will forget a lot of those. 12:54.547 --> 13:00.172 [SPEAKER_01]: But I don't think we forget the emotion and the way that it builds up our brain when we are just together. 13:00.572 --> 13:06.876 [SPEAKER_01]: So my first tip to being fully present is to putting limits in some boundaries on your phone, which you knew we were going to talk about this. 13:07.336 --> 13:17.123 [SPEAKER_01]: Again, I'm not telling you that you have to completely toss it in the river for the summer, but just to really be aware of how it is holding you back from being present with your kids. 13:18.194 --> 13:21.515 [SPEAKER_01]: Tip number two is to lesson the summer schedule. 13:21.935 --> 13:26.417 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe just choose a few things and say no to the other things. 13:27.217 --> 13:35.900 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it's just a one vacation Bible school that you decide to go to or one sports camp or maybe the kids all get to go to one sleep away camp. 13:36.700 --> 13:43.704 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's it, or maybe it's just a couple of play dates, or it's a couple of evenings at a barbecue with friends or family. 13:44.665 --> 13:49.848 [SPEAKER_01]: It is okay to say no to a lot of things and just have a quieter schedule. 13:50.728 --> 13:56.472 [SPEAKER_01]: When you lesson the schedule and everything, there's less on your mind. 13:57.032 --> 13:59.934 [SPEAKER_01]: And when there's less on your mind as a mom, you're less stressed. 14:00.574 --> 14:04.857 [SPEAKER_01]: And that equals being more emotionally available for your children. 14:05.777 --> 14:14.120 [SPEAKER_01]: Just think about when you have times and places that you have to be different activities or appointments, there is stress going into that. 14:14.700 --> 14:18.802 [SPEAKER_01]: So you have to be somewhere at 9 a.m. You get up in the morning, everything is focused on that. 14:18.902 --> 14:23.623 [SPEAKER_01]: If one person is kind of dragging their feet and you're going to be a little bit late, your stress goes up. 14:24.043 --> 14:30.886 [SPEAKER_01]: Your patient's level goes down and we end up acting in a way that we're not really proud of afterwards. 14:31.286 --> 14:32.786 [SPEAKER_01]: But when we have less in the schedule and I'm 14:34.567 --> 14:59.783 [SPEAKER_01]: There's definitely something to planning the night before when you have somewhere you have to get to in the morning, but when we have less on our mind, less restrictions, less places and things that we have to do in and just less responsibilities outside of the home, it frees up your mind more so that you can be less stressed and you can be more available and be more present and be more fully present with your this summer. 15:00.605 --> 15:09.347 [SPEAKER_01]: The third tip I want to mention to you is to plan times to just be together with your kids with your family. 15:10.548 --> 15:13.909 [SPEAKER_01]: If we don't plan things, our day can very easily get away from us. 15:14.089 --> 15:25.412 [SPEAKER_01]: Even if it is just a regular summer day at home, you're getting some laundry done, you're getting some cooking done, you're getting some cleaning done, maybe you're spending a little bit of time reading the kids are playing, there might be a sprinkler, there's 15:26.492 --> 15:29.875 [SPEAKER_01]: meals, there's snacks, there's all kinds of things that are going on. 15:29.995 --> 15:35.460 [SPEAKER_01]: If you don't plan some time to be together, the day will go by very, very quickly. 15:36.080 --> 15:45.308 [SPEAKER_01]: So this could be some type of activity, maybe you're planning and you can go somewhere together or some people or friends are coming over or just planning something that you're doing with them at home. 15:45.648 --> 15:55.176 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it's playing a game, whether it's a board game, a card game, maybe it's reading a book together, or maybe it's just sitting together on the back deck and everybody's just reading on their own. 15:55.796 --> 16:02.063 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it's planting a garden, try to set aside a goal of each day, something that you're going to do. 16:02.183 --> 16:03.925 [SPEAKER_01]: Now again, I'm not trying to add a burden to you. 16:03.945 --> 16:05.287 [SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't have to be every single day. 16:05.307 --> 16:06.948 [SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't have to be a lot of time. 16:07.509 --> 16:11.473 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it is just that time that you sit down together and you do a read aloud. 16:12.114 --> 16:16.542 [SPEAKER_01]: don't feel like you have to put aside 100% of what you would be doing during the school year. 16:16.822 --> 16:22.652 [SPEAKER_01]: The summer is a really great time to connect over books and just to sit and to read. 16:22.692 --> 16:26.058 [SPEAKER_01]: So I encourage you to do read alouds even throughout the summer. 16:27.542 --> 16:31.664 [SPEAKER_01]: But if you don't set aside time to do that, it's probably not going to happen. 16:32.244 --> 16:34.366 [SPEAKER_01]: So say it is that read aloud they're going to do. 16:35.026 --> 16:38.968 [SPEAKER_01]: There are a lot of really fun books that are especially fun to read throughout the summer. 16:39.628 --> 16:46.132 [SPEAKER_01]: Just take, put it at your seat as you're in the dining room or kitchen wherever you sit to eat your meals and put it there. 16:46.652 --> 16:49.974 [SPEAKER_01]: That is going to remind you that every single day you need to do that. 16:50.594 --> 16:53.636 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you guys set aside a time and you say right after lunch. 16:54.396 --> 17:00.744 [SPEAKER_01]: or in mid afternoon when it's super hot out and you don't want to be outside, you decide you're that's what you're going to do. 17:01.665 --> 17:04.728 [SPEAKER_01]: But I have a suspicion that you are like me and you need a reminder. 17:04.768 --> 17:07.091 [SPEAKER_01]: So just putting out that book that you're going to do. 17:07.492 --> 17:11.236 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it's a Bible study that you're going to do with your kids over the summer. 17:11.296 --> 17:35.088 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe they're a little bit older, or the younger one just kind of roll out of the room and don't really pay much attention, they pay a little bit attention just enough to yell, you know, Dalyans then out at you while you're doing the study, but if there's something that you want to do with your kids put some type of reminder out the night before so that you remember and I can guarantee you that your kids will see it and they will remind you as well, but make it some type of part of your plan. 17:35.888 --> 17:50.104 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you have some blocks of summer and I did do an episode about that and I will drop that link in the show notes as well If I did do an episode about phones and putting boundaries on that and I will put that in the show notes as well for you But you probably just need to plan on it. 17:50.264 --> 17:51.926 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you have some blocks of time for the summer 17:52.126 --> 18:10.993 [SPEAKER_01]: The morning is when we get going on the day, we get our chores done and that's when we do a read aloud or that's when you want to be outside because you'd rather do those things inside chores and read alouds and free play in their rooms in the afternoon when it's hot and everybody needs a little bit of a break from being outside, but playing times to be together. 18:11.413 --> 18:15.215 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it is weekly doing some type of date with one-on-one with your kid. 18:15.555 --> 18:17.316 [SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't even have to be anything big. 18:17.356 --> 18:20.338 [SPEAKER_01]: But just tell yourself that you want to do this. 18:20.358 --> 18:22.699 [SPEAKER_01]: So the end of the day, because that's the goal. 18:22.759 --> 18:27.081 [SPEAKER_01]: Make the goal the end of your day, that you have done something with each child. 18:27.521 --> 18:30.323 [SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes you might get to the end of the day and realize, I didn't. 18:30.383 --> 18:31.583 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, then that's where 80 win. 18:31.603 --> 18:38.227 [SPEAKER_01]: You sneak into their room before they go to bed and you just sit and you cuddle and you connect and just being fully present at that time. 18:39.490 --> 18:44.338 [SPEAKER_01]: And if this is an area that you struggle with, what don't do with my kids, how do I connect with them? 18:44.638 --> 18:48.104 [SPEAKER_01]: I did grab a book off of my bookshelf that I have had for many years. 18:48.144 --> 18:49.106 [SPEAKER_01]: So here is the bonus. 18:49.146 --> 18:50.468 [SPEAKER_01]: Let me hold on second I grab it. 18:51.887 --> 18:58.833 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, it is probably a bit of an older book because I am a older home school mom. 18:58.933 --> 18:59.513 [SPEAKER_01]: So let's see. 18:59.654 --> 19:01.475 [SPEAKER_01]: It is, yeah, I was printed in 2011. 19:01.715 --> 19:02.436 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my goodness. 19:02.456 --> 19:07.640 [SPEAKER_01]: So old, but it is entitled 52 things kids need from a mom. 19:08.020 --> 19:09.582 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's written by Angela Thomas. 19:09.682 --> 19:11.804 [SPEAKER_01]: I will put the link in the show notes for it as well. 19:11.864 --> 19:14.206 [SPEAKER_01]: So you can go check it out, maybe on Amazon. 19:14.806 --> 19:19.090 [SPEAKER_01]: But it is just short, little chapters, and talks about things that kids eat from up. 19:19.170 --> 19:26.918 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not to add any extra pressure to you, and it's 52 things because you can read one chapter and focus on it each week. 19:27.459 --> 19:37.489 [SPEAKER_01]: But you might need a little bit more time for some of the topics that it has, but it's just a good encouragement and makes you think about areas that you might not necessarily 19:37.949 --> 19:49.840 [SPEAKER_01]: Think about and you don't have to do every single one of them and I encourage you to read through it and to tweak them so that it really fits with you and your family and your family culture, but if you're just looking for a little bit of encouragement. 19:49.860 --> 19:53.924 [SPEAKER_01]: There's my bonus tip is to check out the book 52 things kids need from a mom. 19:53.944 --> 20:03.073 [SPEAKER_01]: There's also one for dads as well in case dad is someone who is looking for some books and wants to read a book and father's day is coming up, but maybe some dads might not consider this. 20:03.873 --> 20:07.117 [SPEAKER_00]: I father's day gift, oh, something else I have to do, but anyway, it's a good book. 20:07.417 --> 20:08.778 [SPEAKER_01]: So I encourage you to check that out. 20:08.818 --> 20:12.482 [SPEAKER_01]: So those are my three tips to being present with your kids. 20:12.682 --> 20:24.895 [SPEAKER_01]: Again, it is impossible for us to be 100% eye to eye looking at them and listening to every single thing and interpreting everything that comes out of their mouth and everything that they say. 20:25.455 --> 20:27.858 [SPEAKER_01]: Because if you did, the laundry wouldn't get done. 20:27.878 --> 20:28.879 [SPEAKER_01]: The cooking wouldn't get done. 20:28.939 --> 20:35.826 [SPEAKER_01]: And cleaning your brain would probably explode because you might have multiple kids and you're trying to take in and process everybody's everything. 20:36.246 --> 20:37.727 [SPEAKER_01]: It's okay for kids to have time. 20:38.148 --> 20:40.410 [SPEAKER_01]: Where they are a little bit quote unquote bored. 20:40.771 --> 20:45.956 [SPEAKER_01]: Where they have free time to play outside and free time to play inside and to make some decisions and to play together. 20:46.697 --> 20:55.966 [SPEAKER_01]: And to just have that bit of margin and freedom in their own eyes because most of their life, they're going to be having to decide how to spend their time on their own. 20:56.006 --> 21:01.532 [SPEAKER_01]: This is a good place to train them on that, but when you are with them and around. 21:02.422 --> 21:25.999 [SPEAKER_01]: And even just doing the laundry, washing the dishes, and we can still be fully present and they know when you are fully present with them and when you are not and that major one of the phone, they know that when the phone is out and mom is listening to something watching something, she most likely is not going to interact and pick up on things that they're saying and and they know that they can see that because time has shown that over and over again. 21:26.019 --> 21:28.041 [SPEAKER_01]: So I do encourage you to put some boundaries in the phone. 21:28.461 --> 21:34.545 [SPEAKER_01]: to lessen the summer schedule so that you have some more margin, emotionally and mentally, even just for yourself. 21:35.106 --> 21:38.628 [SPEAKER_01]: And then just plan some times to just be together, whether that maybe is. 21:39.169 --> 21:52.178 [SPEAKER_01]: During the day or is a family thing, you do family game night, you do spores, you do a family movie night, you go on hikes together, just having that time, but also just those simple times during the day, where you make sure that you connect with your kids.