[SPEAKER_01]: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Home Maker's Sheek Podcast.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is the podcast where we are rescuing the art of home making from the daily grind with red lips and no denim jumpers, even though those are in fashion.
[SPEAKER_01]: Once again, we've been at this podcast for long enough to come full circle where like 80s and 90s home school marm we used to call it.
[SPEAKER_01]: When we first started the podcast, it's back.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, it isn't.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah, girl.
[SPEAKER_00]: In circles in homeschool marms circles It's not in fashion in my world
[SPEAKER_01]: Just like what's old is new again.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's nothing new under the sun as a new one.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, here we are.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're a little battered by the time we actually push the record button.
[SPEAKER_01]: We both battled strobing web cams.
[SPEAKER_01]: We've both been battling our.
[SPEAKER_01]: curtains that you see hanging behind us here in the video, but we're here.
[SPEAKER_01]: And look, we told you guys, ooh, thank you, honey.
[SPEAKER_01]: Last week, fill your day 80%.
[SPEAKER_01]: We talked about the 80% rule and last week's episode.
[SPEAKER_01]: Super important because if Angela and I had schedule maxed,
[SPEAKER_01]: We would be in trouble right now.
[SPEAKER_01]: We have no lot in our self, a little jiggle room.
[SPEAKER_00]: The 80% thing is a game, it has been a game changer.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we'll get to our subject later, but it's gonna be game changing habits and the 80% gosh, it's just like, you just never know what show you're gonna listen to or what a friend's gonna say or a therapist or your Bible or whatever, it's just gonna be like this nugget where you're like, that's what I need.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've waited my whole life for that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Mhm.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love things like that and me too.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know not everybody who listens to the podcast is the same, but I'm always amazed at how things come through at the time that they need to come through at and it can literally change your life when things when you hear something like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's the sort of an overused expression, but it no, it can actually reset the trajectory.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: a thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: For sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, Darla, we've got Darla on the show as our resident therapist, she is my cousin.
[SPEAKER_00]: She is freaking wise beyond her years.
[SPEAKER_00]: You must follow her Instagram feed.
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll put it in the show notes.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I find those nuggets on her feed every week.
[SPEAKER_00]: The other day, she posted, okay, I'm like, I'm a doer.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm always trying something new.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm always doing
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, I wrote about on sub-stack like, like, let us a tiny bit of, I mean, I'm a confident person.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I do, you know, I have a little imposter syndrome every now and again, you know, just like, what are you doing?
[SPEAKER_00]: On your time, my timeline's a little crazy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I move fast, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's more of like a,
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you think you are on your timeline?
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm opening my shop.
[SPEAKER_00]: We talked about that last week.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think there's some comments about it, hooray.
[SPEAKER_00]: But she posted the other day, and she said something to the effect of if experience is the goal, then how can you fail?
[SPEAKER_00]: I saw it.
[SPEAKER_00]: That I love you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I needed that like yes, and she's like that like all week long Yeah, she's just got follow that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you're not supposed to know your therapist But your cousin and my cousin.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I want the both of them to be my therapist
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'm like can you since you know my whole story could just be the person yeah, we could just save a lot of time Somebody gave me that advice about learning I learned Italian and if you've ever learned a language or just learned
[SPEAKER_01]: anything that that takes a long time.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know that it's sort of you learn to ride the waves.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have really good days where you're like, I'm doing the thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Then you have days where I say, I get my spanking because that's what it feels like when I leave my lessons.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just like, what just happened.
[SPEAKER_01]: But somebody told me when I was feeling a little frustrated about a particularly bad day, they said basically that same thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Every time you enter into learning the language, whether it's a good day or a bad day or it's one word or it's 30 words, you get to spend time with this family place in your happy place, you get with the culture, with the sounds, with the stories, the folk laws, the music, whatever it is, you get to go and you get to spend time in this place that you love, even if it's in your mind, success.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's right.
[SPEAKER_01]: You did it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, accomplished.
[SPEAKER_01]: You liked this thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: So much that you're going to invest hour, stays weeks, years, months of your life to spending more time with it, to being with it on a more intimate level.
[SPEAKER_01]: Congratulations.
[SPEAKER_01]: You just won.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that changed my perspective about learning.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like there's not some timeline that I'm supposed
[SPEAKER_01]: But when the enjoyment or the time becomes the goal, like Darluset, when the experience is the goal, you've already won, like you literally cannot lose.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know some people.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know some people are like scrambling like, okay, they don't want to wait for the comment section.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to leave the show.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm just going to say it out loud, Darla underscore in S I N N I S like the I live in his free underscore therapist.
[SPEAKER_00]: There you go.
[SPEAKER_00]: And just scroll back.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's been at it for about a year and just binge.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's just so good.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love, I love it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: We have a lot to cover today.
[SPEAKER_01]: So let's say thank you to our season sponsor Azure standard.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is your new favorite company where you can go.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you can shop for not only organic, natural, non-GMO foods, from really well-trusted, well-vetted companies, but that is so key.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's so key.
[SPEAKER_01]: My grocery store, my little local grocery store, it used to have this like what they called natural foods section.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you could go in and you could shop this whole little section, really easily without having to dabble into the whole grocery store.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, almost every single one of those companies that they used to stock with was bought out.
[SPEAKER_01]: by like craft or something, you know, yeah, for example.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that area of the grocery store cease to exist because there's companies cease to exist.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we've had Emily Tubes on before and she sort of helped me understand like how do products get on the shelf?
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you fight for that shelf space in a grocery store?
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not, it is not in clean companies' favor.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and you can look at the a massive amount of inventory on Azure's website and see how that could be the case because you're like how have I never heard of these brands before not at my local health food store.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, we are all familiar with amies and things like that, but this is like above and beyond companies that you have never heard from that have excellent products to bring your home.
[SPEAKER_01]: And actually a couple of years ago, Azure started their own line of products and those are phenomenal.
[SPEAKER_01]: So like everything from canned coconut milk to sweetened condensed milk to frozen broccoli to supplements, they have all kinds of stuff.
[SPEAKER_01]: And when they're not having to pay an insane amount to get onto a grocery store shelf, they can pass that onto you.
[SPEAKER_01]: and you can just know, I've been a Azure customer for 15 years.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can know that you can trust their quality.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is like still this family run business and it's fantastic.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that was a long way to tell you that you can get 15% off if you're a new Azure customer.
[SPEAKER_01]: Go online, create your account, place the minimum order of $100 or more in products and choose it to ship to the drop location of your choice.
[SPEAKER_01]: We've talked about this, but it's important that you remember if you can't go to the drop and you can't meet them at a specific time which is sort of a big threshold people have to get over when ordering from Azure now they are coordinating.
[SPEAKER_01]: in your local area with your drop for people to pick up your order and deliver it to you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Which is self-antastic.
[SPEAKER_01]: So do yourself a favor, put in a little time.
[SPEAKER_01]: Get your account set up.
[SPEAKER_01]: Start to look around, start to shop some of the products, get 15% off with our code, make her chic all one word.
[SPEAKER_01]: and then spend a little time figuring out where your drop is, how far away it is from you, if they're coordinating with local drivers, which I think all the drops are now, because you're gonna be so happy you did.
[SPEAKER_01]: This wonderful, beautiful once a month grocery haul to stock you up for everything that you need.
[SPEAKER_01]: So AzureStandard.com promo code, homemaker chic, all one word is where you can go and you can get 15% off.
[SPEAKER_01]: First order.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's try and think of what that word was.
[SPEAKER_01]: First.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ooh, tough one.
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you say?
[SPEAKER_00]: Come on, say the truth.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, all right, we have got some y'all in common.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're bringing it with the comments.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm bringing it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for doing that because it makes us not feel alone.
[SPEAKER_01]: At the end of the day, we're just sitting here talking to each other on our computers.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and it helps us not feel like talking heads, like because we're not experts.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're just folding our laundry, too.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it does give us some fodder and some chit chat, which we really appreciate.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's true.
[SPEAKER_00]: Go ahead and choose your- Okay, choose.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, we'll just start up at the top with John at an old house in some land.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I loved hearing about your new shop.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know it's going to be great.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a lady in an nearby town who is a beautiful shop where she specializes in antique European furniture.
[SPEAKER_00]: She goes to Europe.
[SPEAKER_00]: Fills up a shipping container twice a year.
[SPEAKER_00]: There we go.
[SPEAKER_00]: Plants fantastic.
[SPEAKER_00]: So excited for you, wish I was closer and shade.
[SPEAKER_00]: Take me to Italy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: I will.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know exactly where you're talking about.
[SPEAKER_00]: I believe you're probably talking about the Chelsea antique barn.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been shopping there since like my first trip to Dork County 25 years ago.
[SPEAKER_00]: So.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I think she means there's a lady in her and nearby town.
[SPEAKER_00]: You think?
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think that's why it's here.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Either one.
[SPEAKER_00]: She'll see antique barn.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just got a free plug.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, there you go.
[SPEAKER_00]: All right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Jen, come with me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Email me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Go.
[SPEAKER_01]: Go to Italy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I just... Strong.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have strong feelings.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll speak and go.
[SPEAKER_01]: Here's King of Camelazan.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry about what I just did about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I had a strong reaction to the jumping the shark comment.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is our last week's episode.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't wrap my head around it.
[SPEAKER_01]: You both work so hard while maintaining your values.
[SPEAKER_01]: We should all have people to, I'm reading this for the first time.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's do think I'm,
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I might own back.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm literally reading this as we know.
[SPEAKER_00]: We should literally like enlarging the text while we read.
[SPEAKER_01]: We should all have people to look to inspire us to follow our hearts and do things like traveling to France and Italy.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel it's probably hard for that comment to just sit with other people's joy.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I hope she's able to find it for herself.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, love that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Shay, thank you for sharing your struggles with most of these comments.
[SPEAKER_01]: Angela, if you've grasped on the shot for Shay, hope you've been there if it works out.
[SPEAKER_01]: Hang in there.
[SPEAKER_01]: We can talk about that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Another way we are looking to you both.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that's also wonderful.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, you do this one because it's you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, Julie.
[SPEAKER_01]: She, my preschooler was flipping through your family table cookbook this morning was very confused and concerned when looking at the pickled onion page.
[SPEAKER_01]: She asked, can you eat worms?
[SPEAKER_01]: It was so funny and cute.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for the fun and encouraging podcast ladies.
[SPEAKER_01]: I enjoy it so much.
[SPEAKER_01]: Every week, Julie, I love this.
[SPEAKER_01]: I, um, I haven't written a cookbook since family table, which I wrote.
[SPEAKER_01]: What 10 years ago?
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been thinking about it a lot lately.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have looked at this from a literary agent's perspective, like a proper publisher.
[SPEAKER_01]: I looked at it through self-publishing printing, this, and there's no way it makes financial sense, and I still want to make one.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is why I'll never...
[SPEAKER_01]: B. Joe Antigames, I cannot make proper business decisions.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, but it's pretty, it'll cost me $30 to make them, but, right, yeah, there we go.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, where are we here?
[SPEAKER_00]: Crowning Country, responding to Angie's comment.
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen because I like you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I don't travel.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm way more a type B. I like winter and this Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
[SPEAKER_00]: But kind of country thinks we could be great friends and I always enjoy what you have to say I don't care that my life doesn't match up a hundred percent and I don't care either So yeah, I love that comment isn't that great?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm ordering stickers for my shop got to have stickers right lots of fun ones You know, but one of them is actually something I've said like on the show and on YouTube and it just says I'm not for everyone Yeah, though I love that
[SPEAKER_01]: One of my favorite parts about the church is that it's made up of a bunch of different people because they're not uniting.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're uniting around their faith.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're not uniting around their hobbies, or whether they like to travel or not, or business endeavors.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're not coming for any of those reasons.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so what you end up with is
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: The one flawless common thread.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: But you end up if you're involved in the church meaningfully for a period of time, you actually learn how to hold space for all different kinds of people.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you're not looking only for people that share in this with you or this with you or this
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's fun.
[SPEAKER_01]: To me, you get good at and you start to appreciate different things about different people.
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't want them to be like you'll.
[SPEAKER_01]: You want to learn from them, they learn from you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe they challenge you, maybe you challenge them, maybe you just exist, that's fine too.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's interesting.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh man, you guys, this must have struck a chord with you guys, this is funny.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is from Sydney, the comment about your Europe travels.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's so aspirational to hear you guys talk about because you have shared about the times when you were struggling.
[SPEAKER_01]: We are in the young married phase, it's not in the cards for us in this season, but hearing you both talk about working hard and living in the fruit is amazing and encouraging.
[SPEAKER_01]: plus blessings are allowed to have challenges.
[SPEAKER_01]: And a one blessing that doesn't come with a challenge.
[SPEAKER_01]: City, I want to make sure that we come back to this because we are going to talk about habits that we have taken on over the years, some of which we still have, and some that we don't have, and why we took those habits on, and how we reduced by them.
[SPEAKER_01]: But that struggling financial,
[SPEAKER_01]: Young married, finding your footing, that's something we, there were a lot of habits form during that time, for sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, we don't know how many, how many more we want to do here.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a whole another page.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love this view.
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you guys are passionate about your opinion travel?
[SPEAKER_01]: Uh-huh.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sex.
[SPEAKER_01]: Excuse me.
[SPEAKER_01]: And money.
[SPEAKER_01]: Which one's the point about this?
[SPEAKER_01]: Excuse me, Jesus.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah, there's some, there are some good stuff here.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, thank you for the comments.
[SPEAKER_01]: Those are submitted via Spotify.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is where we can see those.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, if you want to reach out to us, that's a great place for you to do it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um,
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, let's see here.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to encourage you both.
[SPEAKER_00]: As you talk about the toll of creating content on your family's, please know this.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a big fan of both your work and the podcast is the most valuable to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love reading Substack, the Rails on Instagram and the Logger YouTube videos, but it is the podcast that I yearn for.
[SPEAKER_01]: Hmm.
[SPEAKER_00]: I savor the Monday episodes by only, oh my gosh.
[SPEAKER_00]: Nanya, I savor the Monday episodes by only listening to 10 to 15 minutes each day until it is gone.
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_00]: I saved the rest for what I needed, like a piece of chocolate or good cheese.
[SPEAKER_00]: Dang girl.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh, that's amazing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we really, really appreciate that feedback because something, so Shay and I each do these trips, Shay takes people to Italy, I take people to France, the common thread with 99% of our guests is that they listen to this show.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that this comment really means a lot to us because the podcast is the most sustainable for us.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the most enjoyable for us.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the easiest on our families while it does require work and there's stuff we have to do before and after the show, you know, editings and things like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Crazy curtains that fall from the ceiling just as we hit record.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, but go ahead.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I was just going to say to we what we should have acknowledged just anyway, but you'll you'll notice that we throughout halfway through this season we ain't down at.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I'm glad you said something because I was going to say something like five minutes ago.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so this is only possible because Angela and I have prayed about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we
[SPEAKER_01]: value our homemaker sheet audience so much.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is the common thread for the people for all the people who need us in our different places, our cooking community, our sub-stack, our YouTube videos, our trips, the podcast does seem to be the common, the common ground, the common thread.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so Angela and I have been thinking about for a while just sharing our own
[SPEAKER_01]: products, I guess, on the podcast and letting this be a place where we let you know what our offerings are and not having those sorts of ads coming in.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, can I do the elephant?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, that's fine.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, Angela, we say they just don't know.
[SPEAKER_00]: You would you say?
[SPEAKER_01]: What did you say?
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so if you are a patron, oh gosh, see, I'm trying to make my mic from louder for you guys.
[SPEAKER_00]: My piece or hot.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you are a patron, I'm running.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, trian.
[SPEAKER_00]: I did.
[SPEAKER_00]: release and apology from Shay and I, we would like to acknowledge that there were some ads played unbeknownst to us despite filters that had been installed on our podcast platform that you heard and you knew didn't align with our value.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I love you guys for that.
[SPEAKER_00]: and we love you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for letting us know we would not have known that without you letting us know so we want to first of all acknowledge your grace because we were
[SPEAKER_00]: I might cry, mortified is not the word horrified, would be a better word, grieved, would be even better.
[SPEAKER_00]: They did not align with things that Shay and I believe in.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we made an executive decision against judgment.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, or counsel, we were receiving, we made an executive decision that will cost us, but no, no money is worth that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: sort of exposure.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we wiped those ads.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you will notice we just have our sponsors now that we know that we have a rapport with and there will be no more rando inserted ads into the show.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now that does cost us.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we will go ahead and continue to promote things like our trips,
[SPEAKER_00]: our cooking communities things that we do but we would like to say thank you for sticking with us and you have our most sincere apologies for things that you heard on this platform that you we did not want to be aware of so sometimes it does it for us
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, we've said this before like Angela and I would just talk, we wouldn't be hanging up curtains or doing our makeup before we sit down together.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're talking either way, but to do this show, it does take, it does take resources, it does take money to host all of them to put them out, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, but we.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel excited.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like excited for the next phase of things because I do believe in what we offer the world.
[SPEAKER_01]: And there are not facades.
[SPEAKER_01]: Those come down here on the show.
[SPEAKER_01]: You guys know that.
[SPEAKER_01]: You've been with us for hundreds and hundreds of hours.
[SPEAKER_01]: So in a way it feels really good and it feels like we actually have meaningful things to offer the world and to offer the homemaker chic.
[SPEAKER_01]: audience and we're excited to do that.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, that's possible because of you.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, thank you for that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, habits.
[SPEAKER_01]: Bye-bye.
[SPEAKER_00]: do we should always say thank you to our sponsors before we get sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's do that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Here we go.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's do that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Ladies, don't stop your home detox at your makeup and skin care.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can visit tupsinko.com forward slash homemaker sheet and in all of their products, whether they're skin care or makeup, there are no mystery chemicals and their fully transparent ingredients.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is a great time to take care of your skin because we're going from winter to spring.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like a transition time, and you're going to be outdoors more.
[SPEAKER_00]: Your skin needs more.
[SPEAKER_00]: They have vitamin C, serum.
[SPEAKER_00]: They have C, buckthorn, cleansing oil, such beautiful products.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they don't stop at skincare.
[SPEAKER_00]: They have makeup.
[SPEAKER_00]: Lip glosses.
[SPEAKER_00]: Mascara's clean foundations.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can read and understand the ingredients.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can go to their website.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can read and
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, can I share something exciting with you guys because I know you guys have been with us for the journey.
[SPEAKER_01]: Angela already knows because I called her crying on my birthday last week.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was my 40th birthday.
[SPEAKER_01]: do something good for myself, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I do feel so much better if you're 30 and you feel like ish.
[SPEAKER_01]: This was my 40th birthday week.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel so much better than I felt at 30, for at 20.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's really exciting.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel great.
[SPEAKER_01]: You guys know I've been working really hard at it, having French fry in a year.
[SPEAKER_01]: I want potatoes, this is so pretty easy.
[SPEAKER_01]: But anyway, that's not the point.
[SPEAKER_01]: The point is I had a killer workout on my birthday, and I was like, look, you're strong.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's go have sounds maybe counter to what some people would want to do on their birthday, but it felt very right to me.
[SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to do it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Put on some great music, God in there, torta.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I hit two million pounds of my total.
[SPEAKER_01]: So proud of it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: They, uh, I love that.
[SPEAKER_00]: They get me with their little fireworks.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, oh, you hit your PR or you hit your, yeah, yeah, whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: One rep badly for this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Give me that P. G. R. Give it to me lasted for like three seconds.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was like congratulations.
[SPEAKER_01]: You hit two million pounds.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I start crying.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like six years ago, me wouldn't have thought that that was possible.
[SPEAKER_01]: But new habits.
[SPEAKER_01]: I say all that to say, new habits can be
[SPEAKER_01]: But that's not the end of the story, praise God, that's not the end of the story.
[SPEAKER_01]: And there are habits.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, we can talk about how they come about or how we stick with them, but there are habits that change your world.
[SPEAKER_01]: Working now changed my world.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it really did.
[SPEAKER_01]: It changed my quality of life significantly.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I know that's sucky news if you don't work you out.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't really work you out still.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I do it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, which maybe is another important point that we should talk about is like habits always fun, usually the ones that pay off are the sucky ones.
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: For sure, usually they are.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I was thinking back to like one of the first when do you become self aware enough to form habits.
[SPEAKER_01]: Can you think back.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, of course, I'm sure we do things habitually as children.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I did, I was doing I were talking about this earlier this week.
[SPEAKER_01]: I dated this guy in high school, and he was an engineer.
[SPEAKER_01]: Hydro, if you're listening.
[SPEAKER_01]: And he was really good with money, really, really good with money.
[SPEAKER_01]: and he would save it in high school, even in high school.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like he would think of the thing that he wanted and he would work really hard and he would save up his money and then he would go and he would buy the thing with cash.
[SPEAKER_01]: But delayed gratification, the saving, the hard working and actually learned a lot of good money habits from him, from watching him do that and just sort of emulating some of those.
[SPEAKER_01]: habits in my daily life.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that did kind of set a trajectory for money.
[SPEAKER_01]: Those habits were sort of set from the beginning.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's interesting how that came about.
[SPEAKER_01]: But that's one of the first habits I can remember.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was like, oh, if we want to buy something, we save money.
[SPEAKER_00]: right we save money and then we go buy it.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think we start forming habits from the get go.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know at what point we look and go okay that's a good one that's a bad one or ooh look at the way that person does XYZ.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that looks more effective or you know okay I mean I guess in high school I will say this in high school
[SPEAKER_00]: I was probably 16 or 17, and my aunt came over to my mom kept a really good house.
[SPEAKER_00]: My mom kept a clean house, like I, you know, I would go to a friend's house, and there'd be two paced globs in the kids' bathroom, saying, like, our house didn't look like that, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, no, I'm just saying, like, my mom kept a sharp house.
[SPEAKER_00]: but I noticed like my aunt's house was like nuclear sharp, you know, and I remember asking her like what how do you do that?
[SPEAKER_00]: She goes, well first of all, I'm married to your uncle, my uncle's festidious, so that's not fair.
[SPEAKER_00]: an unfair advantage.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I remember, I'm just, all that to say is I remember that being a moment where I was looking like, okay, when I open your house or babysitting or whatever and I open your curling iron drawer, it's not just thrown in there.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's like, wow, how do you do that?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I asked her to show me.
[SPEAKER_00]: She told me how she wound it up and looked it around.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then all the little bathroom appliances were tidy in the drawer.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's kind of my first
[SPEAKER_00]: That's my first memory of noticing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I could do something different.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's somebody I can learn from.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can do something different.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a 16 or 17.
[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, how many habits are formed just by witnessing some sort of endgame, some sort of reward.
[SPEAKER_00]: That I mean, I that you know, I'm really.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I, you know, I've said it before on the show.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not a laundry around the house person at all.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you're not going to come over.
[SPEAKER_00]: Even on my worst day, the kitchen floor is going to be filthy.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're never going to see laundry on my couch.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's just, I just don't do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And like, that's how I grew up.
[SPEAKER_00]: I grew up watching my grandma open her dryer.
[SPEAKER_00]: She'd swing up at the door.
[SPEAKER_00]: She'd lay everything flat over the door of the dryer.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then she would do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: right then.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, so I didn't grow up with laundry piles.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just didn't.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think that that's like a very natural for me because I don't have that visual of like dirty laundry in this corner, fresh laundry on the couch.
[SPEAKER_00]: You are normal, you know, my normal.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's my normal and it was different.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I guess in one sense, our habits are formed
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_01]: Growing up.
[SPEAKER_01]: Good and bad.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is normal.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: But then, as we become adults, we have more control, we then get to cast a vision for what we want to be normal.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think this follows under like that we talk about it all the time.
[SPEAKER_00]: We've done whole shows on you can change.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I was not very good like homemaker when we first got married.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, really?
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I mean, I was creative and I would set the table and things like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I was, no, I was, when I, you know, I was that person.
[SPEAKER_00]: that I would have said this to.
[SPEAKER_00]: So people will say, and have said, especially when my kids were younger, like, I don't know how you do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how you do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'd be looking at their life and go, like, I don't know how you don't.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was the person I would have said, I don't know how you don't.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you got no kids to work in part time.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, how hard can it be to keep a house?
[SPEAKER_00]: I just was not.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is, I just didn't do the thing at the moment.
[SPEAKER_00]: Our season theme is do the thing and I just wouldn't.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's a habit that definitely changed.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I'm just like, do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't wait.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I, it's not to say that I don't have pockets on my house or areas where you can tell that I wait.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, not perfect.
[SPEAKER_00]: But way, way different than 25 years ago.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, for sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: your life changes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_00]: We may become a mom when you realize.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, if I don't jump out of high, I'm going to pay for it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're going to pay for it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll pay for it big time.
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think I guess if we're going back to the starting line.
[SPEAKER_01]: First, you're recognizing, you know, all of us bring baggage into our adulthood.
[SPEAKER_01]: Good and bad.
[SPEAKER_01]: So acknowledging.
[SPEAKER_01]: And trying to step outside of yourself enough to see here are here's the baggage I'm bringing here's the good habits I'm bringing here's the bad habits I'm bringing here's these pieces of myself that really Bless my life and here are these pieces of myself that really maybe kind of tear that down brick by brick a little bit.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, and the thing about habits is they do infiltrate every piece of your life.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like, there's the physical habits that we have, environmental habits, spiritual habits, and so that maybe is a bit overwhelming.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it'd be helpful to think about kind of one piece at a time.
[SPEAKER_01]: Spiritual with spiritual habits, other things tend to follow suit.
[SPEAKER_01]: circumstances tend to follow suit attitudes tend to follow suit, so that might be a good one to begin with, but let's look at life our lives because that's really the only experience we didn't speak from and think about the ones that were the most impactful for our lives.
[SPEAKER_01]: What are the habits that you let go of or or took on that changed the trajectory the most significantly?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I mean, like I said, within the home, it's it was.
[SPEAKER_00]: a shedding of a certain amount of procrastination.
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, I'm not ever going to claim perfection, but it was that procrastination became something I tried to recoil from.
[SPEAKER_00]: If I see it in other people, I hate it, I see it in myself, I hate it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I tried to overcome that.
[SPEAKER_00]: The false promises that like procrastination offered me like I started to to see that so like procrastination tells you or told me like you'll be able to rest a few more minutes, you know, you'll be able to sleep in or.
[SPEAKER_00]: It won't matter that much tomorrow, whether you got XYZ taking care of today or it was just like it offered false promises.
[SPEAKER_00]: And once I was able to identify those and see where procrastination was failing me.
[SPEAKER_00]: then I realized that the pain of experiencing that failure was more than the pain of doing XYZ when I thought of it or in a timely fashion.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like not checking your bank account because you somehow think it's gonna make there be more money in there.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like all that does is actually
[SPEAKER_01]: right.
[SPEAKER_01]: When did you realize do you think that procrastination was a problem for you?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like when did it hurt what caused it to hurt enough to to change or like what brought it to the surface?
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I don't think there was any one thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I do think that becoming a mother and then subsequently having like more kids and more kids and more kids I realized like well you're going to get so far behind Yeah, and and there is so much out of my control
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you and I talked about this privately other the other day like our basement is a war zone I can round everybody up and clean it up every three months and then it I don't go down there So it just goes there there are areas of my house and our property that I they're not my domain and They're gonna get bad and so I and that haunts me, but I can't I can't live there.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not my bag, baby
[SPEAKER_00]: So I know that keeping my areas helps me feel better about myself, helps me feel more in control, it's a relief, it's a relief to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you think, if you are a procrastinator, you think the relief comes in the procrastination and that's what I mean by the false promise, you think that the relief is because like,
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
[SPEAKER_00]: The pants.
[SPEAKER_00]: The relief comes in when you wake up the next morning and you're like, Oh, my gosh.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so glad I didn't leave that lasagna bowl to search dish to soak.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so glad.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just scraped it out last night and did the thing because now I can just have my coffee and scroll Instagram.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the relief, you know, like so it's it is I think it's lies.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's false promises And I'm not saying through be a martyr and bleed out all the time.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're I'm talking about balance But we're talking about habit right so we're talking about 80 20 65 35 whatever it needs to be for you that or me, you know, I'm leaning I'm heavy on this side, you know
[SPEAKER_01]: That's I think that's a big one.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think changing your habits is it's I think it's easier than you think it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Actually, I think as long as you know where you're trying to go and piggybacking on the procrastination thing when I was thinking about this topic, I was thinking about when Stu and I were first married and
[SPEAKER_01]: We were both working like entry-level jobs.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I don't know how much money we made a month like $1,200 or something.
[SPEAKER_01]: And he was going to school full-time.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was pregnant with Georgia.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, and then we moved to Alabama when I was pregnant with Owen.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we had no money.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we had no money to the point that we recognized how little money we had.
[SPEAKER_01]: Our church in Alabama was offering a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace Class.
[SPEAKER_01]: The books were $20 and I'll sign up.
[SPEAKER_01]: forget that.
[SPEAKER_01]: So a friend back in Washington sent me her workbook in the mail and it was used.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I had to like scratch all of her stuff out so that I could write mine in.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: But what that was such a significant piece of our world for such a long time.
[SPEAKER_01]: but one thing that Dave is really good at in his course is he gives you the next thing, so he sets what the goal is for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And habits are great when there's a goal.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can do them when there's not, but it's great to have goals.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's why they give you the two million pounds confetti thing on tonal, so that you feel like you've accomplished something, so that you don't care it.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a little caring.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, a little caring to be like, hey,
[SPEAKER_01]: do this thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's the financial piece universities all about setting habits and not procrastinating on anything.
[SPEAKER_01]: So like you get paid and you get that check cash to that day.
[SPEAKER_01]: and you put that cash into the envelopes that day.
[SPEAKER_01]: And there is no purpose.
[SPEAKER_00]: And like a Bible study, were you like in a group?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like did you mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, because we couldn't afford to do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you just read it.
[SPEAKER_01]: We just we were solo and we read through the book.
[SPEAKER_00]: And because I was going to say, you know, habits also are easier to accomplish when you when you have your tribe.
[SPEAKER_00]: So 100% whether it's homemaker chic podcast or a Dave Ramsey.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll start Bible study thing at your church or whatever, you know, whatever you join a club and you get a fitness program, you know, you get on total, you can do group work out, whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: When you align yourself with people where you're not the weirdo, because you want to accomplish XYZ.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: especially when you're really trying to make a change, that's so important.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: That sets habits significantly significantly.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think baby steps to help help with habits.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know that that's kind of one of the things that Dave talks about a lot in his financial piece is you know it's like baby step one.
[SPEAKER_01]: maybe step to like you just have the little piece, just do this piece.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not paying off your mortgage.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not saving for kids' college.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, $1,000 in your bank account.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's your- When you're looking, yeah, because when you're looking to change a habit, it's the-
[SPEAKER_00]: Most people just like shoot way too high.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why?
[SPEAKER_00]: There is a reason you aren't doing it now because you do not have the skill site.
[SPEAKER_00]: You do not have the discipline, you do not have the skill site, you do not have the time, you do not have the emotional support structure.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a reason.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not just because you stock like there's a reason, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, so or you or you have unrealistic Expected.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, when I first started with two miles with a trainer, high ratio.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd said to her the most cliche stupid thing that a woman every woman probably has said to their what is it.
[SPEAKER_00]: is I don't want to bulk up.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to look like a man.
[SPEAKER_00]: I knew it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's exactly what I did.
[SPEAKER_00]: And she's like, girlfriend, that is not going to happen.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you have any eye?
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you think you are?
[SPEAKER_00]: How hard it is for a woman to put on muscle.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so hard.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I, in my unreal, I didn't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't have, I didn't have a framework.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, well, I grew up in the elliptic women
[SPEAKER_00]: We do cardio.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's right.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so when I thought about women weightlifting, I thought about, you know, like bodybuilders, and I'm like, well, I don't really want to look like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I didn't have, I didn't have the framework.
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't have the goals to even be able to realistically set an expectation.
[SPEAKER_01]: for what the habit would form or what it would look like.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, as interest.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, with Dave Ramsey, like he has you start really small.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's really important with any habit.
[SPEAKER_00]: Instead of I'm going to read for one hour a day.
[SPEAKER_00]: How about I'm going to read for three minutes?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: you know I'm gonna walk for 45 minutes how about you just walk to the mailbox every day see how that works out for you and then built you know but I just think we're so like we want it now we want instant gratification like most of our habits take a lot of time and investment and when we when we set the bar to high we're really just setting ourselves up to fail yeah it it is
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, to start small and don't you think we set those we set the goals way too high and I at least I have found that is not how That is not how the change actually happens the habits that have changed us the most are actually really really really really small like Like for example You get up and you get dressed
[SPEAKER_01]: You get out of your, your nasty clothes and you get dressed and you brush your teeth and you do your hair and now you're set for the day like that was actually that had to become a habit at some point where we just say, no, this is how I'm presenting myself to the world like wise did a whole season on this make your bed.
[SPEAKER_00]: make your bad.
[SPEAKER_01]: So when afternoon she who's stressed and dealing with work stuff, but that goes downstairs to move the laundry, she sees a clean bedroom.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I, that clean bedroom takes me 90 seconds in the morning.
[SPEAKER_01]: If I don't do it all week long, it takes me two hours.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's interesting because some of the habits they change the trajectory so significantly with their soul minute.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, I think being presentable for the day is one.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's a massive.
[SPEAKER_01]: How long does it take you to pull meat out of the freezer for supper?
[SPEAKER_01]: 30 seconds.
[SPEAKER_01]: And like how big of a difference does that make?
[SPEAKER_01]: Three hours.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then, and so, okay, so I've talked before about the 30 second rule for me to like, if I don't have the 30 seconds to make the bed.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: If I don't have the 30 seconds to move the laundry along, or the three minutes to get out the vacuum, literally, like, come on, I don't have four hours to clean my house, but I have three minutes to vacuum under the kitchen island.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's another indication that I am running at max 80%.
[SPEAKER_01]: Something's something's off of this wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, like I tease people all the time about like taking care of your skin.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you don't have three minutes in the morning and three minutes at night to wash your face, put some eye cream on, spread some crap that makes you smell good.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, like take care of your skin, like something's wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're a human, you should be able to care for the things, the thing that covers your muscles, your skin.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not like that one.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, my kids were little.
[SPEAKER_01]: And look, if this is you, please don't feel like I'm judging you.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I was never one of those moms who was like, oh, I don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: When the last time I shattered was like, I still took care of myself.
[SPEAKER_00]: You put them on a bouncy seat, and you get it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Or I just tried what's a bad sign to call her with me.
[SPEAKER_01]: If I was alone, I was like, well, I'm washing my hair, one hand it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like holding the baby, holding the baby, and then we're nursing all your in this club.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like not, not showering was not an option for me.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, there was things to take care of for myself, or for my kids, for my husband, like, what are we doing?
[SPEAKER_01]: What do we do with it?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, clenliness is, that's a good habit.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I shaved my legs just morning just for everyone.
[SPEAKER_00]: All hair is caught up.
[SPEAKER_00]: All hair is accounted for.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: So here's another life on habit and that sounds a little, okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe a little cheesy, okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: It had to become a habit to me to position myself as a lifelong learner.
[SPEAKER_01]: So somebody who was willing to be bad at things in older age or to mature into things, to say, you know what, I don't understand Dante, but I'm gonna just sit and I'm gonna wrestle with it and I'm gonna be willing to be a beginner and I'm gonna be willing to figure it out and I'm gonna be willing to put myself
[SPEAKER_01]: and something in some way, whether it's in learning Italian or learning to get through difficult literature or learning to get through different difficult theological topics or explore a different piece of writing or whatever it is.
[SPEAKER_01]: Go just to say, when it's a habit that you're a learner,
[SPEAKER_01]: you're not uncomfortable putting yourself in a- in a- you're not uncomfortable putting yourself in a position where you're not the authority.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's been a very meaningful habit because I think as a kid you just think adults know everything.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's a habit of like being vulnerable.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: A being vulnerable.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's
[SPEAKER_01]: frustrating.
[SPEAKER_01]: I find when I speak Italian, I do get very frustrated because I know I sound not smart.
[SPEAKER_01]: I like if we were talking in my native language we could have nuanced conversation about politics in religion and whatever social justice.
[SPEAKER_01]: But here we are and I'm just like can I reserve a table for two people please?
[SPEAKER_01]: Can you make sure that this one doesn't have any
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, but when you're in the posture of that, then it's not, um, yeah, it's a good habit to be in.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you need a pause so you can I do, sorry, can you just go give that to grandma?
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I can't, I can't talk anymore.
[SPEAKER_00]: Go give that to grandma.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sorry, I got the sign language going on with the left.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so that yeah, that's a big one.
[SPEAKER_01]: That was a big one.
[SPEAKER_01]: Learning to be a learner.
[SPEAKER_01]: hmm working out and money oh, he's back.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, go give that to grandma right now Here's hopeless Well, um, I'm trying you know, just just execution was just really big for me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to think of any more outside of that
[SPEAKER_00]: that that was a really big one for me.
[SPEAKER_00]: So let's, I mean, you can see, I can see where it abs and flows and and I'm also like, I also have been at it long enough because this is an old habit for me.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I've also been at it long enough to know like when I'm not as like on it, as I could be or something like I I can give myself grace because I know
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I'm the type of person that does things.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, so I can look and go, okay, this is a season or this is a day.
[SPEAKER_00]: Or this is a 48 hours where things are not normal and it's okay because your habit, you're still operating at that higher percentage of doing things the right way or when they should be done.
[SPEAKER_01]: How did your habit of, like, or how did your habit of,
[SPEAKER_01]: self-care, I guess?
[SPEAKER_01]: How did that evolve?
[SPEAKER_01]: How did that get started?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I know I know you're grabbing your and your mom were a big piece of.
[SPEAKER_01]: Here's you know.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, here's how we offer so much the women in my life take care of themselves.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, did any of you do any of your habits sort of divert from that or has it?
[SPEAKER_01]: Has that just been like a long time
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't remember like no I mean my mom always said her makeup my mom's nails were always done she would garden so she would you know we're like shorts in a t-shirt to garden or whatever but otherwise I don't remember like looking at my mom and going like oh you look grubby today you know what is it laundry day I don't
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't mean like to the nines, you know, I have a cousin whose mom is like, wah, to the nines every day, but like she is not a garden.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like kind of a thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And even my grandma will be 94 in October and I go visit her, you know, every 12 weeks or so, nine to 12 weeks.
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll sit around in the morning and have our coffee and she'll go, well, I got to go get my makeup on, you know, after a few hours and then she'll go and she'll put her little sweatshirt on, yeah, do her makeup and she'll say yeah, can you curl my hair, you know, yeah, so I love that okay, we have a few more minutes so let's I'm going to I'm going to dig a little deeper here and tell you that um,
[SPEAKER_01]: you cannot separate habits.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're not isolated.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like habits don't exist in a vacuum.
[SPEAKER_01]: They web together and they move together and they grow together.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, we talked a little bit like the sex and money thing we were talking about last night for the week before those things don't exist in isolation.
[SPEAKER_01]: Those things exist around.
[SPEAKER_01]: a relationship where there's communication, a relationship where there's trust and safety and respect, et cetera, et cetera.
[SPEAKER_01]: A really big habit for our family, probably the biggest, the number one, is that we are a family that goes to church on Sunday, every Sunday, I would say unless there's like, gross things coming out some office.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's like our role.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like unless you're puking or go in, you're going to get not all over the person next to you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we're going and we're going to and we're going to worship and we're going to pray for each other and I just don't think that that habit.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's an outworking of obviously what's going on inside of you.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's an expression and it's where that comes to, where the, where it comes home to Bruce, essentially.
[SPEAKER_01]: But that is like, for us, that's the horse, like that's taking the cart.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the one that leads every other habit.
[SPEAKER_01]: That sets a trajectory for how we communicate with one another.
[SPEAKER_01]: What standards we hold our family to?
[SPEAKER_01]: How we say things like, please forgive me.
[SPEAKER_01]: which is a really eye to learn that habit.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, I'm sorry, not the same thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sorry.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry, you took it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that way.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you always take everything, the person's safe, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so just acknowledging, you know, none of these exist in isolation.
[SPEAKER_01]: All of them are done with a lot of prayer and consideration.
[SPEAKER_01]: What that is, that is our families,
[SPEAKER_01]: number one, everything else, all those other habits, those all drip down from, from that old to methane.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we're acknowledging, we're acknowledging.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, for sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I think we got to go because I think Angela's got some issues.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have an issue here.
[SPEAKER_00]: How long have we been talking?
[SPEAKER_01]: Is this a full episode?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's good.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: It can be a full episode.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's good.
[SPEAKER_00]: So.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not going away.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not going away.
[SPEAKER_00]: As long as we got a full one.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, ladies.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thanks for joining us here today.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we'll be back with a few minutes of Monday.
[SPEAKER_01]: Cheers.