[SPEAKER_00]: Are there any other handyman with ads like yours?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I've seen some kind of copycats.
[SPEAKER_00]: I went looking and I found a couple.
[SPEAKER_00]: Really?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like two other provocative handyman ads.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they never responded to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I texted them, I'm like, hey, I produce a podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd love to know more about your life.
[SPEAKER_00]: I even offered to pay them for an interview, no response.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's interesting that, you know, you're so open and yet so secretive.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just a double thing that is a trading one.
[SPEAKER_01]: Or do you ever ask me?
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, tell them, but no one ever ask.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: So exactly, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not something that, oh, by the way, you know, that doesn't really come up.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, it's the last thing anyone would think to ask you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I am very open if anyone were to, that's why a lot of people don't really like me because I'm very honest.
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you ask me a question, you better be ready for the answer because I'm going to tell you what I think, tell you the truth.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: But no one has ever asked me this question.
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you banging all these women as a hand even?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: That question has never come up, so.
[SPEAKER_00]: I never will.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm Jonathan Walton.
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is the handyman of West Texas.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want no bunnies on my stovetop.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me get my questions up, and I sent you those.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, those are just questions different listeners have been asking.
[SPEAKER_00]: OK.
[SPEAKER_00]: Up until now, I thought I had fully fleshed out Mickey's incredible life story.
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought I'd asked every kind of question I could ask.
[SPEAKER_00]: But, I was wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because the questions I've been receiving from all of you are questions that just never occur to me to ask.
[SPEAKER_00]: Alright, let me record.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're always moving the record.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, record.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right now, I'm on a zoom with Mickey.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's using his phone and I'm using my laptop because I'm in Los Angeles and he's in Midland, Texas taking a quick break from the oil field to talk to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I imagine you've just been working gangbusters because of this whole...
[SPEAKER_00]: Iran's situation.
[SPEAKER_01]: Big time, our, well, our bosses are profiting from it.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a much others, but it keeps us working.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because we need more oil, more gas, more fuel, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a shortage
[SPEAKER_01]: They had said that because of what happened, the oil companies are going to make an extra 50 billion in profit, not 50 billion in profit, I'm extra 50 billion.
[SPEAKER_01]: Extra.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's fucking interesting.
[SPEAKER_00]: So like 50 billion they weren't making before because this whole eron thing, now they're making an extra 50 billion.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Fucking nuts.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know, because so many people, you know, regular middle class people are just suffering with a higher gas prices.
[SPEAKER_00]: Gas prices in LA are like $67, there was one station, $8 a gallon, it's fucking insane.
[SPEAKER_01]: That isn't safe.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, be here, it's, eh, between $3.50 at $4.
[SPEAKER_00]: Which is a lot for Texas.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a fucking lot over here, people are like pissed off.
[SPEAKER_00]: Last time I was in Texas, it was like $2 in something, a gallon.
[SPEAKER_00]: $2.50.
[SPEAKER_00]: $2.50?
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for making the time to check in with me, even though we can't be in person.
[SPEAKER_00]: I appreciate it.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's Earth.
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of listeners have questions that I didn't think to ask you before, so I'm going to ask you now.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is based on a bunch of different listeners who've contacted me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Question number one, and I don't know why I didn't think of this, it just never occurred to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you wear condoms?
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, wait.
[SPEAKER_00]: You always record them.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, just in general, in light, I've always worn condoms because, you know, that was always the rule.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was told as a kid, you know, I want to get, you know, I have kids by mistake, you know, I get some disease back then.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was something you died from.
[SPEAKER_01]: So ever since then, kind of, they're by go to.
[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, it's a bust.
[SPEAKER_00]: And are there ever housewives who want you to take off the condom?
[SPEAKER_00]: We're doing a condom and how do you handle that?
[SPEAKER_01]: I just found out I will not do that for my safety it for your safety.
[SPEAKER_01]: Just think it like that but if it's something that means that much to you you just call it quit right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow, so you insist on the condom, which is odd from the guy, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Normally, it's the women insisting on condom, especially the housewives who'd be like, you know, I bet that's the thing, guys, for the most part, they're stupid.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're like, yeah, I want to go bare back, I think.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's why you're fucking big fart off, and as all the weird fucking bumps on it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's why I cherish why and I treated as such.
[SPEAKER_00]: And what kind of condoms do you buy?
[SPEAKER_00]: I imagine not every condom fits you.
[SPEAKER_01]: the magnums and they're still a stretch literally.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Magnums are tight on you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's the thing, you know, after a while, there's kind of my circulation, I can feel it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And for people who don't know, magnums are a brand of condom that that are like twice as big as a regular kind of like condoms are condoms and then the brand magnum is for like well-hungized like yourself.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: because those little ones, they tear before they even get around the tip.
[SPEAKER_01]: Back when I first started, I didn't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought Cardu Volzcando, I didn't know that there was choices and sizes, they thought it was a one-size-fits-all kind of thing at new.
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought, should I might do with this wrong?
[SPEAKER_01]: I was giving it a class.
[SPEAKER_01]: you'd put on the regular size condom and what it wouldn't go on it would break or tear if you would well while i was trying to put it on it would just tear because i was taught it so hard to try to stretch it to fit that it would just rip wow i'd go through like three or four and then the one that i would finally get to fit i got
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd have to take it off because I could I could feel it cut off the circulation it's painful.
[SPEAKER_01]: Big dick problems.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, sorry.
[SPEAKER_01]: I sure I shouldn't complain, but yeah, we have our problem.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know, well, I mean, you know, pain is pain, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like if it's uncomfortable it's uncomfortable.
[SPEAKER_00]: Another question a listener had, have you ever caught any sexually transmitted diseases from any of these housewives?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I didn't.
[SPEAKER_00]: Boom.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so because it's soon, Mickey didn't actually hear the end of my question.
[SPEAKER_00]: He thought I was asking about STDs in general, not whether or not he caught one from a housewife, so he's answering in general terms here.
[SPEAKER_00]: You'll understand what I mean in a second.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm pretty sure I got the quiz.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I went to the doctor, I was like, I'm just fucking raw here, I'm burned, I'm tripping it, and I got one, I tried to secretly transmit it to these.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I took the course of antibiotics or whatever the hell they had for two weeks that it was gone.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that was not for what it was housewife, that was from a girlfriend.
[SPEAKER_00]: Who a girl?
[SPEAKER_00]: How ironic that it was a girlfriend who gave you a cephalo.
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I made the exception.
[SPEAKER_01]: I made the exception.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have to go and hug out of there.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what happened.
[SPEAKER_00]: And how did that go?
[SPEAKER_00]: What did you do to go home and be like, you gave me a cephalo?
[SPEAKER_00]: I fucking did.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I was like, you know, you dirty, you fucking, we're done.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because she had to have known that she had it, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: I would imagine, I don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: Either way, she didn't fucking get it from me.
[SPEAKER_01]: So she got it from someone else.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that ended the relationship with us.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh yeah, right there on the spot.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's the irony.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, right.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm doing all this other stuff.
[SPEAKER_01]: And by the one that I go home to is the one that the excuse me over how ironic.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, definitely a lot of more set.
[SPEAKER_00]: Where are you when we need you?
[SPEAKER_00]: Another question, another listener had, have any of these housewives fallen in love with you or become clingy or possessive and try to stalk you or anything?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, several.
[SPEAKER_01]: Why does that not surprise me?
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's very difficult not to start having some kind of feelings because you're doing an intimate act, you know, even if you try to separate as much as you can.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't know how to perfect, I guess I'm professional with, I don't consider right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like the professional B-bell sex workers.
[SPEAKER_01]: they don't allow kissing, they don't they have rules to separate the feeling out of it.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, to make it a business transaction, it's just an act that I'm doing, getting paid and getting the hell out of there.
[SPEAKER_01]: Of the opposite, I treat these women like they're my girlfriends, like they're long-time lovers.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I try to make it as sentuices.
[SPEAKER_01]: And as I can, because you don't want that kind of like, the attached feeling that's not what they're looking for.
[SPEAKER_01]: They have that or anything.
[SPEAKER_01]: They have the attachment.
[SPEAKER_01]: They want someone to, you know, enjoy the time with them, make them and enjoy it.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you have to be more physical.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to be physical like they were your wife or your girlfriend or, you know, someone that you don't belong to here at the time, not just men.
[SPEAKER_01]: The feelings that come with that are inevitable, unfortunately, when they're repeat,
[SPEAKER_01]: If it's a war that doesn't, you know, the feelings didn't last long enough because you're gone.
[SPEAKER_01]: But the winner that would call me back, there was the first war was the wife that the husband was there.
[SPEAKER_01]: Kill me guys.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it was a cuckold situation and, uh,
[SPEAKER_01]: He was always there when, you know, I would jump over to service her, but one time she reached out to me, she's like, I don't want my husband to be there.
[SPEAKER_01]: I just want him to be me and you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey everyone, Jonathan Walton here.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing a live one-man show titled Hunting the Irish Eris, about the crazy con woman who scammed me, Mayor Smith, aka the Irish Eris.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm living in Belfast, and my family and I had a huge flight.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, she's out of jail, and she could be scamming you or someone you love right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: Did you know she started a satanic church?
[SPEAKER_04]: Satan, my father, I so many.
[SPEAKER_00]: And she also created a phony, non-profit to run rescue missions in Ukraine.
[SPEAKER_03]: We are doing medical evacuations and refugee evacuations.
[SPEAKER_03]: Our safe house is in Pofla Fraud.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm showing audiences all the crazy pictures and videos and audio recordings of all her new scams come see me live in Southern California at the Newport Theatre Arts Center on June 5th.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's funny, it's dramatic, it's bonkers, and audiences are raving.
[SPEAKER_01]: better than a net please.
[SPEAKER_00]: For tickets, go to my website, JonathanWalton.com.
[SPEAKER_00]: Also, I'd love to perform my one-man show hunting the Irish Eris in your city.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, if you know of a theater or playhouse that wants to host a compelling new show, go to JonathanWalton.com and let me know.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, it was a couple of situations.
[SPEAKER_01]: And, uh, I
[SPEAKER_01]: He was always there when, you know, I would come over to service her, but one time she reached out to me, she's like, I don't want my husband to be there, I just want her to be me and you.
[SPEAKER_01]: I want us to run away, I want us to, it's like whoa, whoa, what the fuck, whoa, she wants to run away.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, she wants us to, like, you know, run off together, like some movie and I'm like, what do you crazy?
[SPEAKER_01]: You want to leave your millionaire husband for a rough neck?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no, that's not happening.
[SPEAKER_01]: Lady Error, you know.
[SPEAKER_01]: You obviously feel a lot more for me than I do for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I like jerks.
[SPEAKER_01]: She was pleasant enough, but I did have a rest of my life Feelings for her, which she did.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so that ended that interaction.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because it was probably around the tip.
[SPEAKER_01]: I wish that happened.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it was pretty frequent.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was once a week.
[SPEAKER_01]: and like once it like 10 the 10th time you saw this couple yeah the 10th time I saw them he called me afterwards and said I don't want my husband to be here involved with us anymore I was like your husband's walking set this up this is his thing you know and she's like I just wanted to be a new and other times when there was repeat customers I would say
[SPEAKER_01]: that's what feelings would arise more than anything because there was most women would be repeat customers and yeah so I ran into that a lot and how do you deal with it you're just straight with them well it depends on the severity of their cleanliness you know if it's something that's manageable I'll let them have their little fantasy it doesn't bother me that much but when
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not going to be ignored, Dan.
[SPEAKER_01]: I could see that light coming, and I cut it before it gets to that light.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I don't want the buddies off my stove to offer.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not waiting on the dead rabbit.
[SPEAKER_01]: I am not, we're going to the dead rabbit.
[SPEAKER_01]: I see the sides and I'm like, all right, come out.
[SPEAKER_01]: So if it's happened, it's like I said, with female sex workers, they will not kiss you.
[SPEAKER_01]: They will not let you go down on them.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're sort of rules they have to block intimacy, to block feelings.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I did block any of those.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I kind of caused it.
[SPEAKER_00]: with the way I am, but everything, because you kissed these women, like open mouth kiss, like passionately make out French.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I can't I can't see having an intimacy without kissing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Bargled by mine.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, that's that's how it all starts.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, you build from that.
[SPEAKER_01]: But yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do any of these women treat you like a therapist where they tell you their deep dark secrets and divulge things?
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, they always would tell.
[SPEAKER_01]: They would always complain about their husbands to me.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're like, I can't challenge anyone, but he doesn't pay attention to me, he's probably fucking a secretary, they would lay all their grievances, all the things that was pissing them off in their lives, and they lay it on me, that I'm just solo.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, and these were the way that we had the longer sessions with suddenly afterwards.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was just the act.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was, you know, a whole scene where, you know, I did break some puddle, just, you know, listen to their day as it was.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it was all complaining about, you know, different aspects of their lives.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, my mother liked my fucking sister's better than me, you know.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're probably talking about us being, you know, kinds of weird shit.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, you know, kind of like a therapist.
[SPEAKER_01]: I wouldn't give any advice, I would just be there to listen to them.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it would usually lead us into, you know, another round or something.
[SPEAKER_01]: If that's how I would just solve them.
[SPEAKER_01]: But, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow, so it sounds like they would they would tell you things they're not telling their best friend they're not telling anyone But they can tell you because you're still kind of a stranger, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: You're you're all not as they don't know me I don't know them, you know, yeah, and they will not tell anyone else because one thing I have found is the insecurity of anyone You know since he've weakness in that they have to be the bottle of success the perfect you know perfect that we perfect whatever
[SPEAKER_01]: And they, even if they're fucking live, you're falling apart behind those doors, they won't never let anyone see that because they want to put that image out there.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they want to Instagram photo, they want the pretty family picture, the exact things.
[SPEAKER_01]: And because I'm just an August stranger, they could finally let it out.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I just taken in, you know, consoled as best I could.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was therapeutic for them.
[SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't a therapist, but it was therapeutic.
[SPEAKER_01]: And they'll be able to get it out of their chest because they've been holding it for who knows how long.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, wow, yeah, that's fascinating, man.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's almost a whole show by itself.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just what these women tell you and how you console them and you know, you're there for them in their moment of need, ironically.
[SPEAKER_00]: Even though you're this candy man, Jigalo's sex worker, but you care.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh yeah, Phil, first of you know, and I guess that was my kind of downfall.
[SPEAKER_01]: I cared too much.
[SPEAKER_01]: I wouldn't, I can't bad be mean to him ever.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love women.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I could be blunt and you know, like a direct and forceful, but I could never be intentionally being
[SPEAKER_01]: That's just copy.
[SPEAKER_01]: My family's all within them.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have sisters, dozens of them.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, they're all within them.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I always, I truly will respect.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I guess that tracks, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And that leads to this other question from the listener about do they become obsessed with you or cling or fall in love with you?
[SPEAKER_00]: I guess they do, because you're meeting with them.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're telling you things.
[SPEAKER_00]: They never tell anyone and you're kind and you're listening and you're consoling.
[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, that's how they get hooked on the magic that is Mickey the Handyman.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I'm the perfect man in that small space of time.
[SPEAKER_01]: If they would spend a fucking week with me, they would have liked me.
[SPEAKER_01]: But, you know, in that small little fucking space of time that were together, a perfect of everything that they could hope for, because it's just that moment.
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's kind of what I was trying to give them, you know, their fantasy.
[SPEAKER_01]: I will be whatever you warped, whatever's lacking in your life that will, I will feel that void for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Interesting.
[SPEAKER_00]: Correct me if I'm wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: The few times I met you and we've hung out and we've recorded Jesus, hours and hours of interviews for this podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: I shook your hand every time and you didn't strike me as having large hands because that's another question from another listener does Mickey have large hands because the adages, if you have large hands, you have a large dick and in my experience that's not always true because that's not true at all.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have small hands.
[SPEAKER_01]: I wear small for medium sized gloves.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, really?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, if I have this small, they're very powerful because they swore to sledgehammer every single day.
[SPEAKER_01]: I could crush about, start with what had, but they're small.
[SPEAKER_00]: huh so that kind of flies in the face of what we always thought or told in society like large-hand, large-check, not true.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's it back through.
[SPEAKER_01]: And another thing that several of these women have told me is that, you know, everyone said the black guys have the biggest cards, but you, I've been with black guys and good cards for way bigger than theirs.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, and I have them verifiable, you know, evidence of that right, right, but from what I have been told, you know, that is another, you know, false logic that we always just carried with us, oh, you know, like I've done a big now, you know, I think it is an individual thing, it's not determined by any sort of thing like the hand or the color.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's a case by case.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey everyone, Jonathan Walton here.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing a live one-man show titled Hunting the Irish Harris, about the crazy con woman who scammed me, Mayor Smith, aka the Irish Harris.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm living in Belfast, and my family and I had a huge fight.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, she's out of jail, and she could be scamming you or someone you love, right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: Did you know she started a satanic church?
[SPEAKER_04]: Satan, my father, I so many.
[SPEAKER_00]: And she also created a phony, non-profit to run rescue missions in Ukraine.
[SPEAKER_03]: We are doing medical evacuations and refugee evacuations.
[SPEAKER_03]: Our safe house is in Hawthorough.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm showing audiences all the crazy pictures and videos and audio recordings of all her new scams.
[SPEAKER_00]: Come see me live in Southern California at the Newport Theatre Arts Center on June 5th.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's funny, it's dramatic, it's bonkers, and audiences are raving.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's better than a netflix.
[SPEAKER_00]: do you do any special prep?
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you drink pineapple juice?
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you do any kind of special preparation before you go on these encounters?
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, you know, it's hardy because my whole life I loved pineapple juice.
[SPEAKER_00]: FYI, the acidity and the sugar in pineapple juice is thought to make semen taste more sweet and less chalky.
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't know it had any effect on anything, it's just what I like to drink.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I drink a glass of pineapple juice every single day of my life and it just happened to, you know.
[SPEAKER_01]: suit the what I was doing I wasn't doing it because I was doing it since I was a kid but yeah yeah because it makes your seam and taste sweeter I did not know that I mean I knew it after the fact that I didn't know when I started drinking pineapple juice
[SPEAKER_00]: You just like pineapple juice.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, the fucking delicious.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it makes you delicious.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's right, apparently.
[SPEAKER_00]: Have women have the housewives commented on how you taste?
[SPEAKER_01]: They have, but, you know, all the things that they would say throughout the whole process.
[SPEAKER_01]: After a while, it's just, you know, background noise.
[SPEAKER_01]: because there's not only so many compliments you can get for just like, at first it was great boosted up by ego, I thought it was a big band, it's great here, that's stuff from beautiful rich women, but after a while they were all seen, it was just like over and over and that's it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was telling them, yeah, but if my mind was just shutting off, I wasn't hearing it.
[SPEAKER_01]: it's like static.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's human nature, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: You get accustomed to anything.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it just becomes part of a weight noise.
[SPEAKER_00]: A question that keeps coming up again and again from different listeners is, do you feel ever regretful or guilty that, you know, these women are cheating with you, cheating on their husbands?
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you feel bad at all, ever?
[SPEAKER_01]: regrets a useless emotion if if I wanted to break it down she's fucking up, you know, she made the commitment to him.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't even fucking know the guy, you know, I have given a warning who's lacking something what she's lacking regardless if that's brilliant in her marriage or you know, break either sex, sexity of their wedding bells and I'm not gonna do it, babe.
[SPEAKER_01]: So just in
[SPEAKER_01]: unless I did something intentional that hurt someone that I care about, then I might regret those situations, but I'm kind of an asshole, so.
[SPEAKER_00]: In my experience though, the opposite is true, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: People who say their assholes are actually not, and people who say they're the nicest people or people who say, listen, you can trust me, you actually can't, like, you know, it's always opposite day with these kind of self-declared of statements, like,
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm the nicest guy in the world.
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're the asshole, but it's people like you who say, well, I'm an asshole, but deep down.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, you're a nice guy.
[SPEAKER_00]: You move to LA for a few months to help your elderly parents get settled.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, that's, that's a very, a lot of grown men do not do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of grown men abandon their elderly parents, but you came and helped.
[SPEAKER_01]: I hate to save this because they're going to go out to all these other people.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you decided edit it out, but I think that's a white thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: like Hispanics, Hispanics.
[SPEAKER_01]: We will move in the parents, the grandparents, and everyone's living in the pocket house because that's just the way we're raised.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, no, I'm not editing that out.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a great answer.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it is a white thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: When I was young, when I was 17 years old, my grandmother died.
[SPEAKER_00]: And my grandmother and I were very close.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it devastated me.
[SPEAKER_00]: And as a way to like, I don't know, be around that kind of grandmother energy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I started volunteering at a nursing home.
[SPEAKER_00]: all the other volunteers were there because of like drunk driving convictions or you know they're doing community service and they could not believe that I was just there because I just like being around old people.
[SPEAKER_00]: I did it for like a year on I made friends with these grandmother types and they became my grandmother's and I enjoyed it and their family never visited them.
[SPEAKER_00]: They were just discarded.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, they put them there and they they forget all about them.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's that's it.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you don't
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure it's changed over the years, but if you go and do like a demographic of all the different people that are in nursing hopes, there's not a lot of Hispanics.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they're usually all white.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, they were all white.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, you're not wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's just because I have a lot of white friends in the high school.
[SPEAKER_01]: I went to really rich private high school.
[SPEAKER_00]: The Catholic school.
[SPEAKER_01]: I got a scholarship to go, but they were just rich people that could afford to pay that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I would go sometimes to their houses for dinner.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the way they interacted was so forward, so alien, compared to how bright that we was.
[SPEAKER_01]: There was no like the mom comes home.
[SPEAKER_01]: She doesn't kiss the husband, kiss the son.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like a business woman, you know, way down.
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you done this?
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you done that?
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna, you know, she had a role that
[SPEAKER_01]: didn't even fall in the category of my mother.
[SPEAKER_01]: My mother was, how was your day?
[SPEAKER_01]: We hope you'll give you a kiss, give your hug.
[SPEAKER_01]: Why me?
[SPEAKER_01]: That's how Hispanic families are.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so anything outside of that is weird to us, but that's how they are.
[SPEAKER_01]: All the white families are my white friends that I was doing for dinner.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's how their families were.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I'll try with you guys.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like what?
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, don't you ever hug?
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, my God.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, no, look at the very weirdos.
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow, yeah, that's so fascinating.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, well, you know, it made you, that's why you're kind, you're kind loving guy in so many ways.
[SPEAKER_00]: When we first met in LA, when you were here last year helping your parents get settled, you told me, you do handyman jobs and this woman called you because she got locked out of her house and she needed to help her get back in.
[SPEAKER_00]: She couldn't, you know, and you came and got her back in
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Why?
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, because she was already having a bad day, you know, she was going to be late to work.
[SPEAKER_01]: She was frustrated.
[SPEAKER_01]: She was losing her mind.
[SPEAKER_01]: How am I going to, and so I figured out she's having a bad enough day.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me do something nice.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it'll take her day.
[SPEAKER_00]: I imagine she tried to pay you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what?
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll tell you what though.
[SPEAKER_01]: If it was a guy, I would have fucking taken his money.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have a soft spot for women.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I don't have a fit of people with it.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I feel bad.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, she's having a bad day if that actually, you know, I feel that.
[SPEAKER_01]: For a guy, I wouldn't give a shit, but so so that's too wide, but yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, no, well, no, I get it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, you raised by women and you have sisters and nieces and yeah, you're very woman, pro woman.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, I think we've had a fortuitus, like by a church.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, guys, guys typically are fucking retarded.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, the guys I work with, if you put them in a table together, it just, it just fucking involves the K-off and fucking ape like behavior.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's, I feel embarrassed.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, you know, I'm bored of my room.
[SPEAKER_01]: You guys have no ones embarrassed.
[SPEAKER_01]: No one thinks anything about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, how are you not embarrassed?
[SPEAKER_01]: You're fucking stupid, you know?
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, my girlfriend that I have now, I see, I don't care how beautiful you are.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're stupid, I will not fucking spend time with you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I've had, or I had a potential girlfriend in the past, she was fucking beautiful.
[SPEAKER_01]: She was like supermodel, but she was dumb as a brick.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so she's like, you know, let's do this.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, you know what?
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to spend any more time with you.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, what?
[SPEAKER_01]: No one ever tells beautiful women, you know, she'd like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, what?
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I don't want to spend any more time with you.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think we should just not talk anymore or say, why?
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, you're not very smart.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I can have a conversation with you and it is fucking something I cannot overcome.
[SPEAKER_01]: I said, you know, there's plenty of stuff guys out there that don't do you, but that'd be.
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is new on the horizon, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: The last time I spoke to you a couple months ago or a month ago, you didn't have a girlfriend and now you do.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is news.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I bet this woman, bet, you know.
[SPEAKER_01]: That was something special, and so I said, all right, I mean, it's it's kind of fucked up the way I'm going to say this, but I spent three weeks out of the month, I'll be here.
[SPEAKER_01]: So if if I had to have a full-time girlfriend, I probably wouldn't have and I don't I have a quarterly, you know, one quarter of a month, I spent with her and it's not even a quarter because I split the time that I back home half with my family half a third.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, yeah, she gets three days a month for me.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's happy with that.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I like spending time with her for those three days, but I think we would both get her of each other's nerves and it was more than that.
[SPEAKER_01]: If I had a nine to five job and I'd come home every day, I don't think, yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Ooh, where the show came out, I stopped, I can't do it no more.
[SPEAKER_01]: Look at how fucking it be murdered.
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't realize you would stop.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, yeah, it was just recently because the podcast just came out a couple of months ago, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and the January, all of that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you have done, you're not doing any more handyman jobs right now.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm still fucking women, but I'm not getting paid for it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll go on the tombstone.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm still fucking women, but I'm not getting paid for it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow, okay, wow.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm not, I, I took that all the ads.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm not doing anything that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I feel bad did the podcast end it for you or were you looking for a reason to walk away?
[SPEAKER_01]: It, I don't, I did need to do it.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I first started, it was just something to pass the time because I had too much time on my heads.
[SPEAKER_01]: But down the situation where I live in LA, but I work in Texas, I don't really have time to do it anymore.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can always make time to do it, but, you know, and plus the show, you know, brought it out of the open, yeah, I'm not taking any chances.
[SPEAKER_01]: And no, you didn't ruin anything for me, because the moving to California and then starting to work in Texas to give is what did it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that just started again, because I took that one year high eight as to come home and take care of my parents.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I started working
[SPEAKER_01]: The show came out, if you had the January, so it was, you know, it was probably not going to have to regardless if the show was there or not.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, you're in the clear, man.
[SPEAKER_00]: That was a question several listeners had.
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you worried now that the podcast is out, these husbands are going to find out or they have security cam footage on their patio, their ring cam, or they're going to be looking for you, or setting a trap for you, or something, but you're out of the business.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm out of business.
[SPEAKER_01]: And, any of these people that...
[SPEAKER_01]: you know, water to go back.
[SPEAKER_01]: If I'm not calm to the act, if I'm calm to the act, go ahead, kill me.
[SPEAKER_01]: I deserve it.
[SPEAKER_01]: But if something is in the past, it's dead again.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you come up, you better be quicker than I am, because yeah, then I don't feel like you are justified in curving that me, because that's just fast.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like I said, regrets a waste of emotion.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't be in the heat at the moment.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's why they call it a tribal passion.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you walk it, you see it, your brain goes berserk.
[SPEAKER_01]: You do something that you would normally not do.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you can see footage of something that I was doing to your wife a year ago, I could divorce her.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm looking for me, I'm going to fuck you up because, you know, that I'm not doing it anymore, you know, you don't have a legitimate reason in my mind to be an enemy.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's okay, you're wife's a horde by me, why are we're both horses by?
[SPEAKER_00]: If that woman that church-deacon that first client who became a repeat, if she didn't do what she did, if she didn't make a pass at you, would you have become a sex worker?
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh no, definitely not.
[SPEAKER_01]: That that was not even, you know, the remotest thing from my, you know, when I was when I set out to do this, I was trying to kill time.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was bored making a little extra money.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, she wouldn't ever made her move.
[SPEAKER_01]: This whole, this whole thing would have never happened.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's so fascinating to look back at your life and think that one slight turn led to all of this and if that not one mean it was meant to be I think you brought a lot of people a lot of pleasure for a lot of years for five years yeah and that's that's ultimately a beautiful thing I think oh yeah I mean no one if you really think about it you could say oh well the husband's no nobody really got hurt if anything.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was for the better bit of the situation, because there was something there that was lacking, that was making them sad, that was making them depressed, whatever it was, I took that away for them.
[SPEAKER_01]: They should fucking, I should actually be granted a St.
[SPEAKER_01]: Hood or something.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: St. Mickey.
[SPEAKER_01]: Just have, you know, they're deaf, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: St. Coca-Cola can.
[SPEAKER_00]: This will not be the last you hear of the handyman of West Texas.
[SPEAKER_00]: Without giving too much away, there is a scripted adaptation in the works.
[SPEAKER_00]: He-he-up, Mickey is getting the tensile town treatment.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hit me up on Instagram at Queen of the Con to keep abreast and to let me know which Hollywood actor you think should play Mickey.
[SPEAKER_00]: Comment with your picks on my Instagram at Queen of the Con.
[SPEAKER_00]: The handyman of West Texas was created, written and hosted by me, Jonathan Walton, for Jonathan Walton Media, executive producer, Evan Goldstein.
[SPEAKER_00]: All sound design and editing was done by Jimmy O'Halligan.
[SPEAKER_00]: Make sure you're subscribed to Jonathan Walton Media so you can get alerts when new episodes drop and new series.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you've got a great story that you think deserves, its own podcast, pitch it to me at Jonathan Walton.com.