WEBVTT 00:00.031 --> 00:06.685 [SPEAKER_01]: A program is not a personal or a personality flaw. 00:06.705 --> 00:17.567 [SPEAKER_01]: You do not have issues, you do have programs and programs can be rewritten, re-batterned, recycled. 00:17.547 --> 00:24.620 [SPEAKER_00]: So from the moment we're born, and again, even before, programs are being installed at its core. 00:24.661 --> 00:33.457 [SPEAKER_00]: A program is a stored collection of memories that generates automatic predictions, reactions, and behaviors. 00:33.918 --> 00:37.024 [SPEAKER_00]: Programs are survival strategies. 00:37.004 --> 00:45.649 [SPEAKER_00]: that overstayed their welcome, and overstayed their usefulness and eventually became maladactive. 00:45.930 --> 00:47.575 [SPEAKER_00]: The question is not what's wrong with me. 00:47.615 --> 00:51.165 [SPEAKER_00]: The question is what did my brain learn? 00:57.760 --> 00:59.504 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back to the MindChange Podcast. 00:59.824 --> 01:01.207 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm your host, Heather McKeen. 01:01.929 --> 01:11.369 [SPEAKER_00]: Before we dive into the episode today, please take a moment to like, subscribe, download, and share, make sure those notifications are on, so that you never miss an episode. 01:11.609 --> 01:13.052 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, welcome back. 01:13.032 --> 01:14.316 [SPEAKER_01]: All right, another topic today. 01:14.356 --> 01:15.499 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it can's back with us. 01:16.000 --> 01:17.424 [SPEAKER_01]: All right, what are we talking about today? 01:17.585 --> 01:22.659 [SPEAKER_01]: We're talking about what is a program and why you're not broken? 01:22.860 --> 01:28.375 [SPEAKER_01]: Or really, we're talking about like this idea of demystifying the subconscious programming. 01:28.355 --> 01:29.216 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay we hold. 01:29.737 --> 01:53.130 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah we talk about programs a lot so I'm actually really grateful for this question probably again from our course community or student community or I'm supposed to have the same thing or our listenership because we talk we all like always a program this program that program so if you've listened to us for any length of time you've heard me probably say well that's a program that I was running or that's a program running and 01:53.110 --> 01:59.965 [SPEAKER_00]: But we've not, I don't know that we've ever really like dove into what does that mean actually. 02:00.426 --> 02:01.428 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, let's dive into it. 02:02.210 --> 02:06.139 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, well, some people may hear that and think, wait, am I brainwashed? 02:06.740 --> 02:07.802 [SPEAKER_00]: Am I not in control? 02:07.822 --> 02:12.773 [SPEAKER_00]: Is this some sort of like woo woo terminology or technology? 02:12.753 --> 02:15.777 [SPEAKER_00]: Or does it mean I'm flawed or something like that? 02:16.337 --> 02:24.067 [SPEAKER_00]: So, I think it's a good thing for us to break this down, what it means neurologically, physiologically, and then practically. 02:24.788 --> 02:24.888 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 02:24.908 --> 02:29.554 [SPEAKER_00]: So, maybe we can first talk about what a program is not. 02:30.675 --> 02:38.305 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so a program is not a personal or a personality flaw. 02:38.285 --> 02:38.826 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 02:39.286 --> 02:43.532 [SPEAKER_00]: People, I think some people can hear it that way or maybe even can sound like we're using it that way. 02:43.552 --> 02:53.766 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, and it honestly, it could be used that way of like you don't like the way someone's showing up and you're just like, well that's a program and it's like, okay, like maybe we should, you know, understand a little bit more about that. 02:54.046 --> 02:54.246 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 02:54.687 --> 02:56.309 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's not a character defect. 02:56.369 --> 02:57.511 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not a moral failure. 02:57.571 --> 03:04.020 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not a lack of willpower or like a spiritual weakness, right, or even something mystical. 03:04.520 --> 03:08.005 [SPEAKER_00]: What we're talking about is a 03:07.985 --> 03:09.747 [SPEAKER_00]: pattern, right? 03:10.128 --> 03:12.290 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so then what is we know what it's not? 03:12.530 --> 03:15.834 [SPEAKER_01]: What is a program from a neuroscience lens? 03:16.054 --> 03:29.250 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so using a little bit of neuroscience at its core, a program is a stored collection of memories that generates automatic predictions, reactions, and behaviors. 03:29.230 --> 03:29.691 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 03:30.132 --> 03:30.292 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 03:30.853 --> 03:42.178 [SPEAKER_00]: So I think if anyone's been listening to us for any amount of time, they know that the brain encodes experiences everything, all the time, everything, even from birth, even before birth. 03:42.198 --> 03:48.792 [SPEAKER_01]: And experiences that we consciously hold and experiences that we don't even remember, the body and brain hold it. 03:48.772 --> 04:09.690 [SPEAKER_00]: it especially makes note of ones that there's a lot of created emotion around like if our body or nervous system needed a response to go along with this particular event that creates more of a strong like imprint, right? 04:10.111 --> 04:18.778 [SPEAKER_00]: So like if an experience is emotionally intense and then we create 04:18.758 --> 04:27.672 [SPEAKER_00]: So over time the brain stops asking what's happening right now and it starts assuming, oh, this is that thing again. 04:28.478 --> 04:39.674 [SPEAKER_00]: Even if it's not actually that thing again, but it feels a little bit like that thing again, the brain wants to just make it pretty simple and kind of over-simplify things and be like, okay, that's that. 04:39.694 --> 04:44.762 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we do that in relationship, we do that with our bosses, we do that in, like, oh, I know what's gonna happen here. 04:44.782 --> 04:47.225 [SPEAKER_01]: I know what you're gonna say, and it's like, maybe not. 04:48.087 --> 04:52.173 [SPEAKER_00]: Right, so the automatic assumption is the program. 04:52.353 --> 04:57.861 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, okay, so let's make it really simple with a metaphor. 04:57.841 --> 05:11.353 [SPEAKER_01]: So, if you think about your brain like a biological supercomputer, which it is, so maybe not so much about it, but when you open your laptop, certain programs are already running, right? 05:11.453 --> 05:13.217 [SPEAKER_01]: Obviously, when you turn it on. 05:13.197 --> 05:30.636 [SPEAKER_01]: And so there's things like the clock is there and the little battery symbol that says how much percentage is there and I mean this is the operating system right this just like there the operating We're having to go back and like put the numbers in the clock every day new you know It's just gonna keep doing its own thing. 05:30.736 --> 05:33.359 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I don't have to like calculate like how much battery is in there. 05:33.379 --> 05:35.442 [SPEAKER_01]: Let me check and then put it's just it's running. 05:35.542 --> 05:36.623 [SPEAKER_01]: It's doing it 05:36.603 --> 05:43.575 [SPEAKER_01]: And so, and then other people have different programs, whether that's like the weather pops up automatically or whatever. 05:43.695 --> 05:51.048 [SPEAKER_01]: Some people have anti-virus software that you're not having to like every time you visit a website like load in the anti-virus. 05:51.068 --> 05:52.691 [SPEAKER_01]: It's just doing it in the background. 05:53.432 --> 05:55.496 [SPEAKER_01]: There's auto updates, right, that happened. 05:55.516 --> 05:56.758 [SPEAKER_01]: There's a lot of different things. 05:57.139 --> 05:58.982 [SPEAKER_01]: And you didn't 05:58.962 --> 06:22.489 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe at one time, you were like, I'd like for this widget to be there or something, but in general, most things in an operating system, even just forget all the apps, just an operating system, the way it even runs that you can open up and see a screensaver, see a picture, see a whatever, that is, those are like applications and things that are already installed. 06:22.709 --> 06:23.530 [SPEAKER_01]: It comes that way. 06:23.630 --> 06:23.870 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. 06:24.571 --> 06:27.855 [SPEAKER_01]: And so, and you can change it and do things to it, but it's there. 06:27.835 --> 06:29.677 [SPEAKER_01]: And so they boot automatically. 06:29.918 --> 06:32.541 [SPEAKER_01]: They run whether you notice them or not. 06:32.561 --> 06:36.185 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I don't actually think about the picture that's on my desktop all the way, it's just doing it. 06:36.486 --> 06:36.686 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 06:37.186 --> 06:41.392 [SPEAKER_00]: So if we bring that back to humans, we're not so dissimilar. 06:42.273 --> 06:46.838 [SPEAKER_00]: What gets downloaded into us is our programming. 06:47.319 --> 06:47.499 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 06:47.559 --> 06:49.962 [SPEAKER_00]: So from the moment we're born, 06:49.942 --> 06:58.454 [SPEAKER_00]: And again, even before, because we talk about epigenetics and we talk about ancestral stuff, programs are being installed. 06:59.395 --> 07:14.616 [SPEAKER_00]: So parental, emotional patterns, family belief systems, cultural messaging, religious frameworks, trauma exposure, attachment experiences, all of those things, all the ancestral things. 07:15.137 --> 07:16.759 [SPEAKER_00]: We didn't choose them. 07:16.739 --> 07:24.268 [SPEAKER_00]: not consciously, we downloaded them, we absorbed them like software downloads in the background. 07:25.409 --> 07:43.050 [SPEAKER_00]: And if we kind of lightly connect this with the research in epigenetics, which is the study of trauma being passed down from past generations through our genetic expression, there's studies from researchers like one of my favorites is Rachel 07:43.030 --> 07:49.986 [SPEAKER_00]: And she has shown that trauma can influence gene expressions across multiple generations. 07:50.006 --> 08:01.191 [SPEAKER_00]: So to put that in layman's terms, we don't just inherit eye color or hair color, we can inherit stress responses. 08:01.171 --> 08:04.617 [SPEAKER_00]: predictive threats, predispositions. 08:05.378 --> 08:12.229 [SPEAKER_00]: So some programs aren't even necessarily personal to us, or they weren't even hours to carry. 08:12.269 --> 08:14.072 [SPEAKER_00]: These things didn't actually happen to us. 08:14.933 --> 08:21.344 [SPEAKER_00]: They happened to our ancestors, and because it was not resolved, they got downloaded into us. 08:21.865 --> 08:24.529 [SPEAKER_01]: And I will just say, 08:24.509 --> 08:44.037 [SPEAKER_01]: When you, you could look at it and be like, oh, this happened to them and now it's being passed down to me, but you have to remember just like the problems that you developed in your own life aside from your, like, and it shows back up in this relationship or in this problem or in this area of life, it shows back up because our brain and body are such. 08:44.017 --> 08:49.610 [SPEAKER_01]: The way that they're designed, it's actually such a gift that they're saying, hey, I want you to live optimally. 08:49.630 --> 08:54.842 [SPEAKER_01]: Here's a way that you can create a different trajectory. 08:54.862 --> 09:01.738 [SPEAKER_01]: Here's a way, there's an opportunity to resolve what you held onto or what happened to you. 09:01.718 --> 09:19.915 [SPEAKER_01]: And so that's just in our life, it's the same thing epigenetically where maybe you didn't download the virus or the bad app or whatever but like it's there so that you and it's showing up in some way in your life so that you can resolve what couldn't be resolved earlier. 09:20.296 --> 09:21.178 [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely. 09:21.158 --> 09:25.183 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's really important to remember that programs run automatically. 09:25.863 --> 09:31.830 [SPEAKER_00]: So like you said, just like when we open up the computer, the things are just running, it's already ticking, it's already doing it. 09:31.850 --> 09:34.113 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's doing it behind the scenes all the time. 09:34.153 --> 09:36.896 [SPEAKER_00]: It's uploads, it's stuff, you know, I don't know about you. 09:36.936 --> 09:39.819 [SPEAKER_00]: I open my computer and I'm like, what happened? 09:40.260 --> 09:44.905 [SPEAKER_00]: It did some sort of down upload, whatever you call it, download, update, thank you. 09:44.885 --> 09:46.928 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I'm like, what is going on? 09:48.171 --> 09:53.179 [SPEAKER_00]: Luckily, not a lot of stuff is happening to us like that, but it does when we're children. 09:53.940 --> 09:54.842 [SPEAKER_00]: That's the thing to understand. 09:54.882 --> 09:56.966 [SPEAKER_00]: Not so much when we're adults, but it does when we're children. 09:57.587 --> 10:00.271 [SPEAKER_00]: So we don't necessarily like, will it to run? 10:00.331 --> 10:03.958 [SPEAKER_00]: We don't even put any energy or effort into making it happen. 10:04.118 --> 10:05.260 [SPEAKER_00]: It just does. 10:05.721 --> 10:07.404 [SPEAKER_00]: It runs because it was wired that way. 10:07.464 --> 10:10.048 [SPEAKER_00]: So in the same way, 10:10.028 --> 10:25.050 [SPEAKER_00]: like an anxiety program runs in some people, a people pleasing program runs in others, a shutdown or freeze response runs in some people while an overachiever program runs in somebody else. 10:25.030 --> 10:31.417 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not because we lack discipline or we just sat down and like ticked it off on a box like what we want on our salad. 10:32.999 --> 10:38.925 [SPEAKER_00]: It's because they were installed early before we had agency over what we took in and what we didn't. 10:39.786 --> 10:45.312 [SPEAKER_00]: And then we reinforced it because we always get more of what we already have. 10:45.672 --> 10:51.038 [SPEAKER_01]: So what was initially wired for thinking about this? 10:51.018 --> 11:04.580 [SPEAKER_01]: in like it the beginning, what was initially wired as a child or even passed down to us will ultimately dictate our behavior until it's updated. 11:05.281 --> 11:08.065 [SPEAKER_01]: And so computers, again, they don't question their code. 11:08.045 --> 11:13.999 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe one day AI will question itself, but really it's just like, this is what it is. 11:14.119 --> 11:17.968 [SPEAKER_01]: And this is what I'm giving you, and oh, you want me to change those great even AI today. 11:18.028 --> 11:20.073 [SPEAKER_01]: But they don't question their code. 11:20.454 --> 11:25.125 [SPEAKER_01]: Humans rarely question their emotional code either. 11:26.118 --> 11:32.364 [SPEAKER_01]: until something breaks, so are we stuck with the operating system that we are given? 11:33.665 --> 11:34.966 [SPEAKER_00]: Thankfully, no. 11:35.006 --> 11:42.693 [SPEAKER_00]: We are not stuck because unlike a computer, the human brain is neuroplastic, right? 11:42.834 --> 11:48.579 [SPEAKER_00]: So we can uninstall, so you can do this with computers, but they don't do it on their own. 11:49.400 --> 11:53.003 [SPEAKER_00]: For us, we can do this for ourselves, for 11:52.983 --> 12:01.017 [SPEAKER_00]: We can uninstall outdated programs, we can update corrupted files, we can rewrite code, we can install new responses. 12:02.159 --> 12:08.950 [SPEAKER_00]: But we have to first become aware that there's a program running in the first place. 12:08.930 --> 12:16.557 [SPEAKER_00]: Because most people think and what has been espoused for, you know, generations is this is just who I am, right? 12:16.597 --> 12:19.139 [SPEAKER_00]: This is just, well, this is just the way the world is. 12:19.199 --> 12:31.791 [SPEAKER_00]: This is just how, you know, those people are, this is just what, whatever belief system they're doubling down on, they really think that that is the way it is for everybody, right? 12:32.792 --> 12:36.355 [SPEAKER_00]: When in reality, it is just an operating system. 12:36.335 --> 12:53.938 [SPEAKER_00]: It's filters, it's set of filters, they picked up oftentimes without trying to, from their early childhood programming, things that they inherited, and it's just now producing itself and creating their reality. 12:53.918 --> 13:00.949 [SPEAKER_00]: And this is what's really important about programs because programs create predictions. 13:02.110 --> 13:09.662 [SPEAKER_00]: So if the program says conflict equals danger, then every argument triggers a threat system. 13:09.982 --> 13:16.392 [SPEAKER_00]: If the program says love equals instability, then intimacy triggers anxiety. 13:17.374 --> 13:22.862 [SPEAKER_00]: So the system runs exactly as it was coded. 13:22.842 --> 13:26.349 [SPEAKER_00]: until new coding is introduced. 13:28.072 --> 13:28.153 [SPEAKER_01]: Hmm. 13:28.173 --> 13:30.156 [SPEAKER_01]: I can relate to both of those things you just said. 13:31.820 --> 13:35.988 [SPEAKER_01]: So, I once had a client who said, I'm just an anxious person. 13:36.489 --> 13:37.611 [SPEAKER_01]: Right, this was just an identity. 13:37.651 --> 13:38.393 [SPEAKER_01]: This was a belief. 13:38.433 --> 13:41.118 [SPEAKER_01]: This was a knowing for them. 13:41.138 --> 13:43.062 [SPEAKER_01]: And we share this to back. 13:43.042 --> 13:51.721 [SPEAKER_01]: Her mother was anxious, her grandmother survived war, her father was hyper-vigilent, anxiety. 13:51.741 --> 13:56.451 [SPEAKER_01]: It wasn't her personality, even though that's what she had then deemed it. 13:56.471 --> 13:59.918 [SPEAKER_01]: It was a multi-generational operating system. 14:00.599 --> 14:03.666 [SPEAKER_01]: And once she saw it that way, 14:03.646 --> 14:08.953 [SPEAKER_01]: shame dropped and when the shame dropped change accelerated, right? 14:08.973 --> 14:13.118 [SPEAKER_01]: And so then we're then we're able to like get in and it wasn't this like, oh, what was me? 14:13.158 --> 14:14.119 [SPEAKER_01]: This is just who I am? 14:14.139 --> 14:15.461 [SPEAKER_01]: This is I'm bad for it. 14:15.541 --> 14:21.648 [SPEAKER_01]: It was like, oh, this is just how I was this is the operating system and now I can change that operating system. 14:22.069 --> 14:22.309 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. 14:23.050 --> 14:28.877 [SPEAKER_00]: So some other examples might be, let's say someone has a program around relationships. 14:28.857 --> 14:36.765 [SPEAKER_00]: So maybe for this person in their childhood, they would identify with like, okay, when I expressed emotion, I was ignored. 14:37.866 --> 14:46.534 [SPEAKER_00]: So their stored prediction, coming from the program would be expressing emotions leads to disconnection. 14:47.615 --> 14:47.815 [SPEAKER_00]: Right? 14:48.416 --> 14:56.704 [SPEAKER_00]: So then let that simmer for 20 years, 30 years. 14:56.684 --> 15:09.816 [SPEAKER_00]: becomes, I suppress my needs, I avoid vulnerability, I attract emotionally unavailable partners, I feel unseen, you know, all the different things that go with that. 15:10.638 --> 15:11.841 [SPEAKER_00]: That's not fate. 15:13.053 --> 15:20.360 [SPEAKER_00]: That's a program running and not being challenged and not being questioned and being reinforced. 15:21.381 --> 15:25.945 [SPEAKER_00]: So maybe another example would be like an achievement program. 15:26.405 --> 15:33.272 [SPEAKER_00]: So maybe for this person in childhood, they would identify with like, I was only praised when I performed. 15:34.072 --> 15:38.236 [SPEAKER_00]: So their stored prediction is my worth equals achievement. 15:38.476 --> 15:42.300 [SPEAKER_01]: And man, we got a lot of those people 15:42.584 --> 15:43.205 [SPEAKER_00]: so many. 15:44.747 --> 15:49.653 [SPEAKER_00]: So they do that as due childhood, and then how does that manifest as an adult? 15:49.673 --> 15:51.015 [SPEAKER_00]: Overworking, right? 15:51.375 --> 15:57.423 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe feeling anxiety when they rest, constant burnout, fear of slowing down. 15:58.104 --> 16:00.828 [SPEAKER_00]: And again, this isn't a personality. 16:01.548 --> 16:02.790 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a program. 16:03.231 --> 16:08.618 [SPEAKER_01]: So tell people understand, is a program basically a belief? 16:08.658 --> 16:09.739 [SPEAKER_01]: Is that what you're saying? 16:10.613 --> 16:14.958 [SPEAKER_00]: not exactly, I mean, they're bad fellows, sure, but not exactly. 16:15.499 --> 16:19.183 [SPEAKER_00]: A belief is more of a conscious thing. 16:19.743 --> 16:23.468 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, we can have stored, you know, core beliefs and everything like that. 16:23.568 --> 16:29.474 [SPEAKER_00]: But when we're talking about a belief of like, what I believe I am or what I believe about the world, oftentimes those are conscious. 16:30.095 --> 16:32.638 [SPEAKER_00]: But a program is, 16:32.618 --> 16:33.499 [SPEAKER_00]: is embodied. 16:34.040 --> 16:44.493 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's not just something I could say, it's something I can see, something I can remember, something I can feel, something that I know, it's like, it's just real, right? 16:44.533 --> 17:02.035 [SPEAKER_00]: You can consciously believe I'm safe and still, you know, have a racing heart be looking for 17:02.015 --> 17:19.585 [SPEAKER_00]: you are by you coming in and seeing, this is what people don't understand, by you coming in and looking for danger, you're actually bringing unsafe into this, something that maybe wasn't inherently unsafe, you're bringing that into it and then you'll create it. 17:20.066 --> 17:27.178 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mean, this is not only what's happening on a subconscious level, but when we have these things happening subconsciously, 17:27.158 --> 17:41.807 [SPEAKER_01]: our body reacts and our baseline primal aspects of us as humans is we have an electromagnetic field that emits different energies. 17:42.028 --> 17:43.210 [SPEAKER_01]: We have 17:43.190 --> 17:46.437 [SPEAKER_01]: brainwaves that come out of what our thoughts are. 17:46.457 --> 18:03.612 [SPEAKER_01]: And so when there's anxious, when there's things shift, not only in what we say or what we're doing with our eyes, or even our non-verbal, like there's all of this stuff happening at information is then being given to the situation to you, if you're out there, and then it actually responds. 18:03.592 --> 18:20.166 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, I use this an example like this in the book, but people who have kind of like a rejection, I'm an outsider, I'm not easily accepted, they enter a room differently, they sit in a room differently, the look on their face is different. 18:20.146 --> 18:28.260 [SPEAKER_00]: the way they breathe is different, and so people, like without even realizing they're doing it, you make a wide birth around that person. 18:28.580 --> 18:29.522 [SPEAKER_00]: You don't know you're doing it. 18:29.983 --> 18:32.847 [SPEAKER_00]: You think that's what they want because they're giving off this vibe. 18:33.228 --> 18:34.671 [SPEAKER_00]: You're not conscious of it at all. 18:35.091 --> 18:36.333 [SPEAKER_00]: This thing's just happening. 18:36.794 --> 18:40.661 [SPEAKER_00]: So what does the person with the rejection program think? 18:40.681 --> 18:41.722 [SPEAKER_00]: Uh, yep, look proof. 18:41.762 --> 18:43.285 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm being rejected again. 18:43.265 --> 18:46.976 [SPEAKER_00]: not realizing how complicit they are in it and creating it. 18:47.838 --> 18:54.878 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's because the body is running an encoded prediction that predates consciousness. 18:56.478 --> 19:02.764 [SPEAKER_00]: programs live in the emotional memory networks not in logic, right? 19:03.184 --> 19:20.580 [SPEAKER_00]: So if we're talking about biologically what's happening here, programs are encoded through the amygdala because that's our threat prediction, the hippocampus because that's our context tagging, prefrontal cortex, because that ultimately is our interpretation of what happened. 19:20.760 --> 19:21.841 [SPEAKER_00]: Even if it's incorrect. 19:22.162 --> 19:23.683 [SPEAKER_00]: Even 19:23.663 --> 19:31.483 [SPEAKER_00]: And then after all of that, then it sends the messages down to the body and then our automatic or autonomic nervous system responds. 19:32.585 --> 19:38.500 [SPEAKER_00]: So when triggered, the system activates before our conscious thought does. 19:39.560 --> 19:43.586 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's why people say, I don't know why I do this, right? 19:43.666 --> 19:51.797 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know why I am this way, or I don't know why this keeps happening, even when I try not to, it's because it's automated. 19:52.238 --> 19:53.239 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a program. 19:53.600 --> 20:00.910 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so why do programs feel so real and hard to change? 20:01.953 --> 20:09.044 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, because they, and this is where we want to really like deeply understand what these things are for. 20:09.064 --> 20:19.240 [SPEAKER_00]: So a lot of us, like lots of programs program, we have this like, like, like being done to us, kind of nasty thing, but actually, these things are adaptive. 20:20.442 --> 20:22.946 [SPEAKER_00]: In negative situations, they become maladaptive, right? 20:23.507 --> 20:28.855 [SPEAKER_00]: But every program that we do now and have once solved a problem. 20:28.835 --> 20:31.939 [SPEAKER_00]: If I avoid conflict, I can stay safe. 20:32.580 --> 20:34.383 [SPEAKER_00]: If I achieve, I will receive love. 20:34.984 --> 20:37.948 [SPEAKER_00]: If I stay sick, I'll receive care. 20:39.050 --> 20:44.578 [SPEAKER_00]: Programs are survival strategies that overstayed their welcome. 20:44.638 --> 20:51.147 [SPEAKER_00]: And overstayed their usefulness and eventually became maladactive. 20:51.127 --> 20:53.351 [SPEAKER_00]: They're not evidence that you're broken. 20:53.411 --> 20:57.377 [SPEAKER_00]: They're evidence that your brain learned efficiently. 20:57.998 --> 20:58.118 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 20:58.699 --> 21:03.186 [SPEAKER_00]: So another great client example is a client that we'll call Emma. 21:03.226 --> 21:07.853 [SPEAKER_00]: And so Emma comes in saying, I sabotage relationships. 21:08.474 --> 21:10.097 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what's wrong with me. 21:10.077 --> 21:24.657 [SPEAKER_00]: So, we do the intake and we uncover that at the age of seven when she got too close to her mom, her mom would emotionally withdraw due to depression, you know, that's actually quite common. 21:24.677 --> 21:39.156 [SPEAKER_00]: If you've got an adult who isn't regulated themselves and is outsourcing their regulation, when you've got this little person coming who's seeking regulation and the adult doesn't have it, 21:39.136 --> 21:40.642 [SPEAKER_00]: It's again, it's a program. 21:40.682 --> 21:44.619 [SPEAKER_00]: It's running unconsciously of like, this is too much. 21:44.780 --> 21:48.977 [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to override my system and in some ways that's protective of the adult. 21:50.459 --> 21:53.082 [SPEAKER_00]: and it's really damaging to the child, right? 21:53.562 --> 21:55.264 [SPEAKER_00]: So this happened with Emma. 21:56.005 --> 22:07.398 [SPEAKER_00]: So her belief system, her neural encoding became closeness equals instability, right? 22:07.938 --> 22:19.251 [SPEAKER_00]: So as an adult, when whenever a relationship would get a little bit deeper, a little bit more intimate, she would start to feel anxious. 22:20.615 --> 22:25.361 [SPEAKER_00]: She would create conflict, or eventually she would just leave. 22:26.542 --> 22:33.391 [SPEAKER_00]: And remember, this is just playing out again, a childhood wound that has not been resolved. 22:34.212 --> 22:45.846 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes people will flip and become like the aggressor, or like the abuser, or like the person that created the wound in the first place. 22:45.826 --> 22:51.373 [SPEAKER_00]: as a way of not being the victim of it again, but it's just perpetuating it. 22:51.413 --> 22:52.274 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, exactly. 22:52.935 --> 22:55.558 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's not that Emma didn't want love. 22:56.138 --> 22:59.122 [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, she wanted and needed it very badly. 22:59.142 --> 23:09.775 [SPEAKER_00]: But the the program that she was running predicted instability and therefore found it or created it. 23:09.755 --> 23:15.902 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so then for our audience, why can't people just decide to change? 23:16.683 --> 23:24.572 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, because all the systems that are involved in programming and programs operate faster than conscious thought. 23:25.533 --> 23:25.673 [SPEAKER_00]: Right? 23:25.693 --> 23:28.296 [SPEAKER_00]: The amygdala can fire within milliseconds. 23:28.957 --> 23:33.602 [SPEAKER_00]: The prefrontal cortex, which is our logical brain activates later. 23:33.582 --> 23:41.250 [SPEAKER_00]: And it tends to go offline if we're in a survival situation if we even deem it or perceive it as a survival situation. 23:41.731 --> 23:46.996 [SPEAKER_00]: So by the time you decide to react differently, your body's already mobilized. 23:47.036 --> 23:50.219 [SPEAKER_00]: It's already in the midst of the program. 23:50.660 --> 23:56.886 [SPEAKER_00]: The CD is already played a few tracks before you even become aware that it's something's happening. 23:57.607 --> 24:02.172 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's why mind-setwork, which is like all the rage right now. 24:02.152 --> 24:04.154 [SPEAKER_00]: Mindset work often fails. 24:05.696 --> 24:08.680 [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't update the encoded prediction system. 24:09.160 --> 24:16.569 [SPEAKER_00]: The complicated prediction system that was encoded for our safety, for our survival. 24:17.010 --> 24:19.993 [SPEAKER_01]: And a mindset work alone. 24:20.033 --> 24:24.058 [SPEAKER_01]: It can get you somewhere for a time. 24:24.038 --> 24:43.901 [SPEAKER_01]: But that's often why you need like the everyday thing, the accountability, the constant reset, the kind of thing because what you're doing ultimately is your default operating system is trying to push this one program and you're just constantly like overwriting it, overwriting it. 24:44.121 --> 24:46.063 [SPEAKER_01]: So it works for a while. 24:46.043 --> 24:51.814 [SPEAKER_01]: sort of, but not on that, you know, deep subconscious, default level, new default. 24:52.515 --> 24:55.140 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's a little bit of like, new age by passing. 24:55.200 --> 25:02.514 [SPEAKER_00]: And again, better than just going out there and letting your programs hang out and like run steam rolling the world with them. 25:02.534 --> 25:05.821 [SPEAKER_00]: But, you know, the people are like, I need to stay in my practice. 25:06.482 --> 25:08.085 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, if they every morning, 25:08.065 --> 25:26.031 [SPEAKER_00]: have to stay in their practice or they're going to be a jerk or they have to stay in their practice otherwise they're going to feel like they're unworthy and don't have anything to offer the world or they can't be calm, they can't be, it's again it's the outsourcing the result to the practice. 25:26.452 --> 25:36.807 [SPEAKER_01]: Or to a group of people like I have to be with these people or I have to, you know, whatever, X, Y, and Z and all of those things are fine and good and in fact, 25:37.748 --> 25:41.031 [SPEAKER_01]: We as humans need a regular practice of something. 25:41.131 --> 25:44.815 [SPEAKER_01]: We as humans need groups of people, like we need those things. 25:45.476 --> 25:54.124 [SPEAKER_01]: But if we need them in order to, that's where the problem comes in, rather than like, I want these people in my life. 25:54.184 --> 25:58.208 [SPEAKER_01]: I want to be constantly upgraded and feedback and all of that. 25:58.228 --> 26:05.916 [SPEAKER_01]: I want my body to like learn this practice, this meditation, this prayer, this movement, this whatever. 26:05.896 --> 26:11.142 [SPEAKER_01]: good, but if it's to prevent you from, that's where it goes right. 26:11.302 --> 26:33.507 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, because programs change when subconscious memory is activated and then interrupted enough to where we create that space for change and then after all the emotional charge is gone, then we can revisit the memory to see 26:33.487 --> 26:52.153 [SPEAKER_00]: right and then the brain finds a different outcome and when the brain finds a different outcome that thing we've talked about now many times prediction error occurs and then the brain can re consolidate the memory differently which means the stored prediction updates. 26:52.133 --> 27:08.463 [SPEAKER_00]: So we're not deleting memory per se, we are updating it and restoring it back oftentimes to like factory default, back to what's true true about us, and then that means our programming changes. 27:09.905 --> 27:14.614 [SPEAKER_01]: So if you take one thing from this whole episode, 27:16.332 --> 27:17.213 [SPEAKER_01]: Please let it be this. 27:18.155 --> 27:20.739 [SPEAKER_01]: You do not have issues. 27:21.400 --> 27:28.873 [SPEAKER_01]: You do have programs and programs can be rewritten, repatterned, recycled. 27:29.033 --> 27:31.978 [SPEAKER_01]: Like it can be something different that doesn't have to be the same. 27:31.958 --> 27:32.699 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 27:32.719 --> 27:38.128 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, the fact that we tend to react automatically doesn't mean that we lack control. 27:38.629 --> 27:39.911 [SPEAKER_00]: That's all humans do that. 27:41.133 --> 27:43.357 [SPEAKER_00]: It means that our brain is actually efficient. 27:44.218 --> 27:45.861 [SPEAKER_00]: The question is not what's wrong with me. 27:45.901 --> 27:50.288 [SPEAKER_00]: The question is what did my brain learn? 27:50.268 --> 27:58.325 [SPEAKER_00]: Because once you identify the learning, then we can update it without so much of the shame in the blame and all the gap. 27:58.345 --> 28:01.732 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, just get into doing the work and then you update it, right? 28:01.752 --> 28:08.146 [SPEAKER_01]: And that is the work, like that's part of it is we are getting in and we are rewiring. 28:08.767 --> 28:08.867 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 28:09.877 --> 28:10.418 [SPEAKER_00]: That's what we do. 28:10.878 --> 28:11.959 [SPEAKER_00]: That's the mind-change method. 28:12.480 --> 28:28.858 [SPEAKER_00]: So if any of this resonates and you want to learn more about programs and where they come from and all of that, then how to identify them and actually change them, not to suppress them or cope around them, but update them. 28:28.898 --> 28:31.901 [SPEAKER_00]: That's what we teach in the online course. 28:32.662 --> 28:32.762 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 28:32.742 --> 28:33.664 [SPEAKER_00]: to a module one. 28:34.225 --> 28:49.876 [SPEAKER_00]: And with that, we don't just leave you to, you know, to your own devices, we have a course community, we have mentoring calls, and we have included two sessions of the trained mind-changed practitioner to jump start your journey. 28:50.597 --> 28:52.000 [SPEAKER_00]: And we also have 28:51.980 --> 28:56.628 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I mean, what some people decided to do is go to one of our retreats, right? 28:57.148 --> 29:05.963 [SPEAKER_01]: And so we have these immersive retreats, different ones, that really, the goal isn't to become someone new. 29:06.003 --> 29:11.953 [SPEAKER_01]: It's to remove what was no longer serving you. 29:12.173 --> 29:13.576 [SPEAKER_01]: Those old programs. 29:14.156 --> 29:16.941 [SPEAKER_01]: It's to what I like to call 29:16.921 --> 29:35.030 [SPEAKER_01]: all the different aspects of us that we're filtering, who we actually are, and once we remove those programs, like every program you remove, again, I don't necessarily know if it's like, and then you're done, it's because we live in a life where there's like things are always happening, like computers are always going, right? 29:35.051 --> 29:37.815 [SPEAKER_01]: So we always want to update, but, 29:38.200 --> 29:41.726 [SPEAKER_01]: As we remove those, those filters are removed. 29:42.067 --> 29:52.406 [SPEAKER_01]: And we get to really unlayer to the place of like being the light, being the amazing being that is already inside of us. 29:52.906 --> 29:54.149 [SPEAKER_01]: And now it gets to shine. 29:54.229 --> 30:01.542 [SPEAKER_01]: Now it gets to come out and play because there's not all these other things that are squeezing it anymore. 30:01.522 --> 30:05.988 [SPEAKER_00]: and doing that at a retreat with other people who are doing the same thing. 30:06.048 --> 30:12.015 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a kind of magic that is difficult to explain unless you've been there. 30:12.456 --> 30:17.743 [SPEAKER_00]: But everyone who's been there knows it, it's like we step into another dimension. 30:18.243 --> 30:19.685 [SPEAKER_00]: It's really, really amazing. 30:20.086 --> 30:20.947 [SPEAKER_00]: So we do have that. 30:20.967 --> 30:24.171 [SPEAKER_00]: We have retreats, um, 30:24.151 --> 30:25.373 [SPEAKER_00]: of all kinds of things. 30:25.633 --> 30:34.527 [SPEAKER_00]: If you want to know all the things that we have to offer and what might suit you the best as your entry point, then book a discovery call. 30:35.028 --> 30:45.805 [SPEAKER_00]: You don't probably talk to Kent and he can help you kind of understand where what you're coming in with, what you'd like to focus on, and what we have that can meet that need for you for sure. 30:46.477 --> 30:47.579 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, I think that covers it. 30:47.879 --> 30:48.400 [SPEAKER_01]: Good discussion. 30:48.641 --> 30:48.841 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 30:49.502 --> 30:54.250 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, once again, if this resonated, please share it, please let us know, what did you think? 30:54.912 --> 31:03.627 [SPEAKER_00]: Give us a comment, tell us what you got from it, what you'd like to change, or how this is, you know, reframing your mind. 31:04.388 --> 31:11.961 [SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, thanks for joining us again on the MindChange Podcast, where we are changing the world one mind at a time.