WEBVTT 00:00.976 --> 00:01.799 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, selfish babe. 00:01.839 --> 00:04.048 [SPEAKER_00]: It is your girl, Olinique Oceboone. 00:04.249 --> 00:06.538 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, this selfish babe, okay, the goddess. 00:06.558 --> 00:10.513 [SPEAKER_00]: And welcome back to another selfish babe podcast. 00:11.708 --> 00:21.107 [SPEAKER_00]: So last week and I was at a party and in the bathroom a girl complimented my outfit and this was an outfit that I wore to a Compo party. 00:21.147 --> 00:25.376 [SPEAKER_00]: There is this Compo day party called Afrobeats. 00:25.917 --> 00:33.312 [SPEAKER_00]: It's yeah, it's Afrobeats and Compo day party by Bomba Tuesday aka DJ Cash in Atlanta 00:33.292 --> 00:39.142 [SPEAKER_00]: And I've been to, I think I've been to all of the parties he's had so far, it's usually once a month on a Sunday. 00:39.162 --> 00:45.552 [SPEAKER_00]: And I enjoy it because it's so much fun, the venue is beautiful. 00:45.612 --> 00:50.280 [SPEAKER_00]: And you can get dressed up and take your photos and look good and you don't have a good time. 00:50.360 --> 00:55.629 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so basically I wore this green shimmery kind of dress. 00:55.689 --> 00:57.612 [SPEAKER_00]: It was like a 00:57.592 --> 00:58.914 [SPEAKER_00]: and it was very beautiful. 00:58.934 --> 01:01.317 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just loved it. 01:01.377 --> 01:08.908 [SPEAKER_00]: It was like, imagine me performing on stage and I decided that I wanted to get an outfit because I was going to be performing on stage. 01:08.948 --> 01:10.450 [SPEAKER_00]: That's what I got this dress for, right? 01:10.830 --> 01:11.832 [SPEAKER_00]: So I know I looked good. 01:12.713 --> 01:13.995 [SPEAKER_00]: And I appreciate the compliments. 01:14.055 --> 01:14.976 [SPEAKER_00]: I love the compliments. 01:14.996 --> 01:17.980 [SPEAKER_00]: So basically, she was 01:17.960 --> 01:23.126 [SPEAKER_00]: So I told her thank you and she proceeded to tell me about an outfit she got for this festival. 01:23.947 --> 01:30.555 [SPEAKER_00]: She says it's a lot sexier than she would have normally worn and I said, wow, wait, she was like, yeah, and I said, yeah. 01:31.556 --> 01:38.043 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you've never worn something before and it may seem a little weird to you at birth, especially if it's sexier, you're not used to that. 01:38.604 --> 01:42.769 [SPEAKER_00]: But it takes you out of your comfort zone and soon you get used to it. 01:42.749 --> 01:43.971 [SPEAKER_00]: look good and feel good. 01:44.612 --> 01:47.016 [SPEAKER_00]: She agreed and she said she was excited. 01:47.036 --> 01:54.749 [SPEAKER_00]: So anytime a woman like is telling me anything about them doing something about them like looking sexy or looking good. 01:54.809 --> 01:57.293 [SPEAKER_00]: We're getting photos or getting videos. 01:57.473 --> 02:01.500 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm always going to be in support because 02:01.480 --> 02:02.843 [SPEAKER_00]: That is a transformation. 02:02.903 --> 02:05.348 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to get in touch in a little bit. 02:06.510 --> 02:18.274 [SPEAKER_00]: So in that moment that reminded me of how some of us are just getting used to being sexy, being seen, and showing up in the ways where the spotlight is on us, this has been my journey in my mid-30s. 02:18.254 --> 02:47.637 [SPEAKER_00]: I like to say I'm in my party girl era LOL, but from a granted space, not that 20s kind of partying, but me dressing up me looking good, me having the spotlight on me, me making sure my makeup is done good, my outfits are good, my heels are on, like for me this is a new hour for me and it wasn't until I got into like my mid 30s where I really started doing that, 02:47.617 --> 02:54.166 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not, I don't know, I wouldn't say it's a place, it's from a place of, oh my God, I need this validation from all these people. 02:54.226 --> 03:00.355 [SPEAKER_00]: It's really for me, like, I like dressing up, I like looking cute, I like looking sexy. 03:00.816 --> 03:05.022 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I'm trying to say, I love the compliments as well, but I don't do it for compliments. 03:05.142 --> 03:07.625 [SPEAKER_00]: I do it because I'm like, oh my God, that looks so amazing. 03:07.725 --> 03:08.767 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm trying to say? 03:08.787 --> 03:11.751 [SPEAKER_00]: When my outfit is on, when my makeup is on, 03:11.731 --> 03:15.076 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, oh my god, I look so good, I look so incredible. 03:15.517 --> 03:18.261 [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes when I look in the mirror, I be so shocked. 03:19.623 --> 03:22.007 [SPEAKER_00]: I be shocked not that I'm shocked that I'm beautiful. 03:22.047 --> 03:23.109 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not that. 03:23.609 --> 03:26.113 [SPEAKER_00]: It's more like, wow, we did it again. 03:26.213 --> 03:30.300 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, you know, it's like you see yourself in a new light every time. 03:30.480 --> 03:32.423 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's what I mean. 03:32.403 --> 03:52.251 [SPEAKER_00]: by me being in this new aura and I say party girl era because usually I am dressing up to go out dancing or go out somewhere and so that's why I say party girl So maybe you're used to blending in don't want to be seen more on the shy side, but in your heart you want to be fabulous 03:52.231 --> 03:53.533 [SPEAKER_00]: and you just don't know how to. 03:53.573 --> 03:55.896 [SPEAKER_00]: Or you haven't stepped out of your comfort zone. 03:56.897 --> 04:09.033 [SPEAKER_00]: I was happy to hear she got something more sexier than she would have normally worn and encouraged her because I believe women need to feel sexy, beautiful, be the shining star of the night and some women have never allowed themselves to be that. 04:09.774 --> 04:14.661 [SPEAKER_00]: So I want you to ask yourself selfish babe, have you allowed yourself to be the shining star of the night? 04:15.502 --> 04:16.483 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, or no. 04:16.503 --> 04:19.207 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you feel like you're just always blending in? 04:19.267 --> 04:21.771 [SPEAKER_00]: You don't want people to look at you. 04:22.392 --> 04:24.334 [SPEAKER_00]: You don't try to say you don't want any eyes on you. 04:24.454 --> 04:26.537 [SPEAKER_00]: So you kind of, you don't even dress sexy sometimes. 04:26.557 --> 04:34.128 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you don't mean, like for example, like let's say, let's say, maybe I'll give this example. 04:34.168 --> 04:36.531 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I'm gonna be in Jamaica. 04:37.422 --> 04:41.427 [SPEAKER_00]: and I'll be walking around and I don't want the most attention on me. 04:41.447 --> 04:44.790 [SPEAKER_00]: I may wear something like real chill. 04:44.991 --> 04:45.511 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying? 04:45.531 --> 04:48.494 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm still beautiful, but real chill wears. 04:48.615 --> 04:51.458 [SPEAKER_00]: I know a lot of men are probably not going to talk to me because it's chill. 04:52.299 --> 04:59.006 [SPEAKER_00]: Versus if I dress up real cute even if it's just a regular dress and just a lip liner and some lash. 04:59.046 --> 04:59.867 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm just saying? 04:59.887 --> 05:00.288 [SPEAKER_00]: I've got to... 05:00.308 --> 05:02.350 [SPEAKER_00]: It don't even have to have a full face of makeup. 05:02.330 --> 05:03.452 [SPEAKER_00]: And I know I'm walking around. 05:03.552 --> 05:06.436 [SPEAKER_00]: I know the men are going to look, stare, and try to talk. 05:07.017 --> 05:11.544 [SPEAKER_00]: And to avoid that, sometimes I'll just dress a little bit more comfortable to avoid that. 05:12.145 --> 05:16.733 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I gave that example because when I said, well, do you allow yourself to be a shining star of the night? 05:18.155 --> 05:23.002 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I understand that sometimes we can just like be like, or just want to go in and out. 05:23.043 --> 05:25.166 [SPEAKER_00]: And you know, be hidden in a way. 05:25.226 --> 05:25.526 [SPEAKER_00]: Right? 05:25.546 --> 05:26.548 [SPEAKER_00]: So let's want you to think about that. 05:28.402 --> 05:30.409 [SPEAKER_00]: So maybe your mom and it throws a motherhood. 05:30.469 --> 05:33.399 [SPEAKER_00]: So being sexy is the last thing on your mind. 05:33.981 --> 05:38.918 [SPEAKER_00]: But when you're out and you see another beautiful woman passing by, you're reminded that you want to be that as well. 05:40.113 --> 05:46.323 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you've been in a long-term partnership with someone and have gotten so comfortable that you don't even attempt to be sexy anymore. 05:47.224 --> 05:47.845 [SPEAKER_00]: What's the point? 05:47.986 --> 05:48.927 [SPEAKER_00]: You're already together. 05:48.987 --> 05:52.653 [SPEAKER_00]: But then another beautiful, done-up woman walks by. 05:52.693 --> 05:53.815 [SPEAKER_00]: You and your partner. 05:53.875 --> 05:55.217 [SPEAKER_00]: And your heart stops. 05:55.818 --> 06:00.205 [SPEAKER_00]: And you sheek secretly look at them to see if he's checking out the beautiful woman and you're reminded. 06:00.646 --> 06:01.868 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to be that too. 06:02.995 --> 06:08.754 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you've been shy all your life, and now you're in your mid-30s, and you don't want to be the same girl you've always been. 06:08.814 --> 06:14.794 [SPEAKER_00]: You want some jazam in your life, and you want to be the jazam, L-O-O, but how? 06:15.837 --> 06:21.166 [SPEAKER_00]: Or maybe you're over 50 something and it was seen as too wild or even porish, too be sexy. 06:22.028 --> 06:26.095 [SPEAKER_00]: It was best to be conservative, good girl, because that is how you got to be alive. 06:26.796 --> 06:30.262 [SPEAKER_00]: But now you divorced and you realize that was a lie, LLO. 06:31.464 --> 06:37.474 [SPEAKER_00]: You see the younger woman coming up and all the freedom they have and you're wondering, can I get a taste of that as well? 06:38.602 --> 06:45.418 [SPEAKER_00]: You can, it's never too late to be the shining star of your life, the main character or what I like to say the goddess. 06:46.340 --> 06:50.170 [SPEAKER_00]: A goddess is a magical woman, she honors herself and worships herself. 06:50.731 --> 06:55.783 [SPEAKER_00]: She treats herself like she's an altar that she's on altar and she's in reverence to her soul. 06:55.763 --> 06:58.868 [SPEAKER_00]: Her being in reverence to herself is what helps her light shine bright. 06:59.630 --> 07:03.597 [SPEAKER_00]: It's an inner light that needs tending to and the more she tends to with the more it shines. 07:04.178 --> 07:07.904 [SPEAKER_00]: The more she glows, the more she attracts what she wants, the happier she is. 07:08.385 --> 07:12.372 [SPEAKER_00]: Her confidence, self-esteem, self-respect, and her boundaries grow. 07:13.398 --> 07:20.307 [SPEAKER_00]: Other people around her notice too, when she rocks into a room, people can't help but notice, even if she doesn't say anything. 07:21.228 --> 07:27.376 [SPEAKER_00]: This woman is in her goddess aura, that's a URA, and it's an aura that is undeniable. 07:28.618 --> 07:38.511 [SPEAKER_00]: If you're ready to be in your goddess aura, then you want to join, 07:40.263 --> 07:41.946 [SPEAKER_00]: I am doing a group mentorship. 07:42.066 --> 07:45.572 [SPEAKER_00]: It is a live mentorship for about eight weeks, which is about two months. 07:46.514 --> 07:52.965 [SPEAKER_00]: And I am affirming and calling in 20 women who want to be the shining stars of their life. 07:54.307 --> 08:02.862 [SPEAKER_00]: Using the spiritual self-love rituals that I'll be teaching and helping you to just tap more and call in your goddess, right? 08:03.854 --> 08:28.650 [SPEAKER_00]: So I've noticed my own personal transformation in my life and I've talked about this before in some videos that I've probably used to upload as podcasts and have it, but I will definitely say that there have been lots of instances where I did not want to be seen and I didn't want the attention on me and you know I'm trying to say like I just didn't want that. 08:28.690 --> 08:32.275 [SPEAKER_00]: Now I'm in a space where 08:34.583 --> 08:38.937 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to show up as beautiful and I don't mean that just externally. 08:39.037 --> 08:39.780 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm trying to say? 08:39.860 --> 08:44.796 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean that also, internally, and... 08:46.750 --> 08:48.452 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to hide my beauty anymore. 08:48.813 --> 08:49.454 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean? 08:49.474 --> 08:51.256 [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't wanted to hide my beauty anymore. 08:51.276 --> 09:01.931 [SPEAKER_00]: And so when I talk about dressing up and putting on a makeup and putting on the dress or even putting on the risk outfit you may have never worn, just kind of like the girl told me in the bathroom. 09:02.812 --> 09:06.658 [SPEAKER_00]: When you do those things, people are going to look at you. 09:06.698 --> 09:11.104 [SPEAKER_00]: People are going to see you. 09:11.084 --> 09:27.608 [SPEAKER_00]: when you are beautiful or get done up and when I say beautiful I'm not only talking about society standards of beauty I just mean beautiful and general right like people are going to look and we have to acknowledge that 09:28.988 --> 09:30.169 [SPEAKER_00]: being beautiful. 09:30.189 --> 09:41.760 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a beautiful thing in terms of like it reminds people of God, it reminds people of inspiration, of hope, of joy, of happiness, of beauty. 09:41.780 --> 09:46.284 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's like when you see something so beautiful in the world doesn't it just make you smile? 09:47.585 --> 09:50.908 [SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't it make your heart a little lighter and a little bit more joyous? 09:52.049 --> 09:57.274 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes I think that we have to look at ourselves like that as 09:57.254 --> 10:08.886 [SPEAKER_00]: When you are allowing yourself to show your beauty in the world you are allowing yourself to shine and you are inspiring people This is what we have with the arts, right? 10:08.906 --> 10:18.757 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like when people don't get inspired There's no art and it doesn't mean all art is inspired by beauty because some great art is inspired by like the spirit and sadness, right? 10:20.338 --> 10:24.763 [SPEAKER_00]: But There's inspiration there also 10:25.891 --> 10:38.858 [SPEAKER_00]: Just wanting to see myself as like the most beautiful and I really just mean like I want to wear this outfit and I've never given myself permission to wear this outfit and I probably would never normally wear this outfit a little escape. 10:39.379 --> 10:45.452 [SPEAKER_00]: But tonight I'm going to decide to wear this outfit and I'm going to show up for myself and I know people are going to look at me and I'm going to have to do with that. 10:46.748 --> 11:01.770 [SPEAKER_00]: that helps to boost your confidence because now you almost get the you get the power in your beauty that's what I've talked about before it's in another video you get the power in your beauty and there is power in beauty 11:01.750 --> 11:11.739 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, when you're walking around beautiful, looking good, smelling good, you know, and people are complimenting you, right? 11:11.779 --> 11:13.301 [SPEAKER_00]: That's going to help boost your confidence. 11:13.801 --> 11:17.785 [SPEAKER_00]: But then also, you feel a little in, in, was it possible? 11:17.805 --> 11:24.091 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, oh, sometimes it's like, like, I need to get a little favor for something. 11:24.131 --> 11:28.635 [SPEAKER_00]: This person may be a little 11:30.050 --> 11:55.922 [SPEAKER_00]: And there is power in beauty and I think a lot more women also need to realize that about themselves and so even when I talk about you stepping in your goddess are a part of that is being beautiful and that doesn't again I'm I want to really remind you that that doesn't mean society standard of beauty that just being beautiful for you right and so when I think about the goddesses that are joining my and her goddess are a program my mentorship my live mentorship group. 11:57.674 --> 12:21.319 [SPEAKER_00]: It's about being beautiful for you, that's one thing that we're going to focus on, it's not just everything, but it's one thing, being beautiful for you, you getting used to being confident, you getting used to being seen, you are so stepping into your sexy, right? 12:21.299 --> 12:42.210 [SPEAKER_00]: But then you're reminded when you're out in a battle like ding, I want that bag, you know, I'm trying to say, or a woman who's in their 50s and they were, you know, supposed to be conservative that you were the good girl, you were you did everything right, you became the wife, the mom, the homemaker, and that was nice when it lasted and then you got the worst. 12:42.190 --> 12:49.025 [SPEAKER_00]: And then you're like, dang I want more from life or maybe you're still married and I think that's beautiful if you are and you're in a happy marriage. 12:49.526 --> 12:52.674 [SPEAKER_00]: And you're still like, I want to see what that looks like. 12:52.894 --> 12:54.498 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to tap into my sexy. 12:54.558 --> 12:55.740 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to tap into my joy. 12:55.760 --> 12:57.364 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to tap into my pleasure. 12:57.344 --> 13:13.058 [SPEAKER_00]: What does that look like if I really allowed myself to step in her goddess aura right what is your goddess aura look like and so in my mentorship group I'll be going over that like the spiritual self love rituals I do 13:13.038 --> 13:20.574 [SPEAKER_00]: And one of them is getting dressed up and putting on the outfit that I'm most afraid to put on. 13:21.416 --> 13:30.675 [SPEAKER_00]: But I know the inside of me wants to put this on and there's something inside of me that's going to be so pleased because I put on this outfit, right? 13:30.655 --> 13:34.359 [SPEAKER_00]: or I put on this makeup, maybe you're not a woman that wears makeup and heels anymore. 13:34.879 --> 13:36.901 [SPEAKER_00]: But you want to get that just damn back. 13:37.341 --> 13:42.206 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, maybe you do have a partner at home and you shouldn't only be doing this for your partner, you should be doing it for you too. 13:42.767 --> 13:49.093 [SPEAKER_00]: But it's like, you know, you pass up beautiful women and you're like, you know, I might as my partner go look at them and you know what I'm trying to say? 13:49.113 --> 13:51.735 [SPEAKER_00]: How much should you do this for you? 13:51.755 --> 13:56.720 [SPEAKER_00]: And so for me, I haven't done a mentorship group in a long time. 13:57.581 --> 13:59.683 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think I won't point 14:00.153 --> 14:02.799 [SPEAKER_00]: and I realize why I didn't like it at that time. 14:03.340 --> 14:17.672 [SPEAKER_00]: But now I'm in a space where I want to help 20 women who want to be the goddess in their life, who want to put themselves to the altar, who want to worship themselves, give themselves reverence. 14:17.652 --> 14:33.484 [SPEAKER_00]: love on themselves and you know all of this is fast spiritual perspective there's a lot of spiritual things we're going to be doing but it's going to help you dive deeper into you and pull out that goddess in you and I'm so excited to see the transformations for the women that sign up. 14:34.308 --> 14:41.096 [SPEAKER_00]: If you believe that this is for you, then I want you to go to selfishpict.com or click the link below in the description. 14:41.116 --> 14:44.620 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, but I'm really excited about this guy. 14:44.680 --> 14:48.364 [SPEAKER_00]: This feels really good for me because it reminds me of my own personal transformation. 14:48.384 --> 14:59.657 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm just so excited for the woman that I don't know, like the woman that may have put themselves to the side or have decided that maybe being beautiful is not for them or 14:59.637 --> 15:05.511 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I'm just like, when I say that you don't have to be a society's conventional beauty standard, I really mean that. 15:05.992 --> 15:12.868 [SPEAKER_00]: But beauty is for you, beauty is for everybody, and so I want you to be able to see that for yourself, at least once in this lifetime. 15:13.350 --> 15:15.655 [SPEAKER_00]: And I want to be able to help women not want that. 15:15.635 --> 15:23.303 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, if you are willing that already considers herself to be a goddess and you just want to tap deeper into the things, I think that you should sign up as well. 15:24.385 --> 15:26.767 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, anyways, I love y'all. 15:27.108 --> 15:30.231 [SPEAKER_00]: There will be more episodes coming up. 15:30.291 --> 15:32.874 [SPEAKER_00]: This is just the first one that I wanted to kind of click on. 15:33.375 --> 15:37.419 [SPEAKER_00]: Basically, you being the shining star, not being afraid of being the shining star. 15:38.280 --> 15:44.747 [SPEAKER_00]: And you know, showing up, there's something really fabulous about you being the shining star and really wearing that beauty. 15:46.111 --> 15:50.058 [SPEAKER_00]: XO, XO, selfish babe, and the goddess, peace. 15:50.619 --> 15:54.426 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, guys, I have two new self-love journals that I want to talk about. 15:55.829 --> 16:03.343 [SPEAKER_00]: One is called how to become a goddess, spiritual self-love rituals for choosing and loving yourself, the elite, and other one is called orgasm and pray. 16:03.323 --> 16:21.784 [SPEAKER_00]: it's about releasing shame for the vagina, co-creating through your orgasm, as well as, I think there's something else I don't want to title, but anyways there's self-love journals that you can actually use in your life, meaning like you're going to get delivered to your door and the first half of my journals goes over the teachings and that things that I'm teaching you. 16:22.224 --> 16:27.610 [SPEAKER_00]: The second half of the journal is like the workbook version where you're able to write your 16:27.590 --> 16:35.189 [SPEAKER_00]: So you can check those out as shops, I'm sorry, you can check those out as shop that shop that selfishmade.com. 16:35.209 --> 16:36.753 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm actually really excited about them. 16:37.474 --> 16:39.660 [SPEAKER_00]: So check them out, exo exo selfish baby. 16:39.680 --> 16:39.760 [UNKNOWN]: Bye.