WEBVTT 00:00.031 --> 00:06.839 [SPEAKER_00]: I do not understand why so many people are willing to train for a little bit of discomfort. 00:06.959 --> 00:13.246 [SPEAKER_00]: When people don't go after what they want, because of discomfort or fear, it's not their fault. 00:13.466 --> 00:19.073 [SPEAKER_00]: Or twice is motivated to avoid what we fear, then to move toward what we want. 00:19.313 --> 00:29.785 [SPEAKER_00]: If you want to have the most successful life, if you want to have the happiest life, you need to get uncomfortable and it's going to feel unnatural. 00:29.765 --> 00:30.348 [SPEAKER_00]: someday. 00:30.649 --> 00:32.439 [SPEAKER_00]: That is such a dangerous word. 00:32.780 --> 00:36.298 [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of someday, we need to replace that with today. 00:44.294 --> 00:54.291 [SPEAKER_01]: I had this woman on, I mean, I'm gonna forget exactly which one of the, which one of the women that I interviewed was, but it was a few weeks ago and she was like fucking hate pink. 00:54.332 --> 00:55.614 [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, I hate pink so much. 00:55.654 --> 01:06.032 [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, but when we post something, she's like, I have these analytics that like when we post something and I use pink in like the imagery, I get X more. 01:06.755 --> 01:08.237 [SPEAKER_01]: visibility or whatever. 01:08.297 --> 01:10.761 [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, she's like, it drives me nuts. 01:10.962 --> 01:15.288 [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, so she's like, we've integrated pink into our into our brand. 01:15.549 --> 01:22.520 [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, but it drives me crazy because I hate pink, but I can't deny that like when I post something, is she would explain it better. 01:22.560 --> 01:23.481 [SPEAKER_01]: Obviously, I'm kind of butchering it, but 01:23.461 --> 01:25.766 [SPEAKER_01]: like when I post something with pink it like gets more engagement. 01:25.786 --> 01:36.888 [SPEAKER_01]: So she was like in this uh, philosophical battle with her team over whether she should embrace this color she hates or, you know, just just throw it out and say screw it, um, which I thought was really fun. 01:36.908 --> 01:41.598 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I guess maybe it's one of the times where the phrase embraced the suck, just you know, it's not just embrace it. 01:43.381 --> 01:43.782 [UNKNOWN]: That's what I think. 01:43.762 --> 01:51.314 [SPEAKER_01]: I will say, when you're creating content, I just feel like you have to enjoy what you're putting out. 01:52.015 --> 02:04.234 [SPEAKER_01]: I think you can tell over time the people who have maybe bought into the analytics too much, they're playing to the algorithm or whatever too much, and you can tell like, 02:04.315 --> 02:07.421 [SPEAKER_01]: It kind of, you can tell it's not authentically them. 02:07.441 --> 02:13.953 [SPEAKER_00]: And then everyone starts sounding the same because if you allow what everyone wants to guide you, then everyone's going to come to the same middle. 02:14.073 --> 02:20.485 [SPEAKER_00]: So can you serve a smaller set of people more deeply and make a bigger impact? 02:20.465 --> 02:24.812 [SPEAKER_00]: because you're being your authentic self versus changing, so yeah, I'm with you on that. 02:24.873 --> 02:32.065 [SPEAKER_00]: I definitely have a unique message too, but I think it's what sets me apart in the marketplace, you know, because I talk about bravery. 02:32.125 --> 02:39.638 [SPEAKER_00]: I want people to do hard things, and I've studied positive psychology, so I am a happiness scientist, but the way you get to happy, 02:40.681 --> 02:45.107 [SPEAKER_00]: my research is through doing hard things and doing things scared, you know? 02:45.507 --> 02:50.453 [SPEAKER_01]: And I want to get into it because I'm philosophically like 100% aligned. 02:50.834 --> 02:57.121 [SPEAKER_01]: And anytime someone pushes back on, because I do the same thing, I test all kinds of stuff. 02:57.141 --> 03:03.229 [SPEAKER_01]: Like if you look through my social feeds, like everyone's in a while, and probably more than everyone's in a while, you'll see something who'd be like, what? 03:03.209 --> 03:04.231 [SPEAKER_01]: Why would he do that? 03:04.311 --> 03:05.394 [SPEAKER_01]: Like why would he post that? 03:05.434 --> 03:10.967 [SPEAKER_01]: Why would you try and because I'm just trying different stuff like what what do I like doing what resonates, you know, that kind of stuff. 03:11.648 --> 03:17.942 [SPEAKER_01]: And I always go like Joe Rogan became the most popular podcaster and probably media brand in the world. 03:18.544 --> 03:21.370 [SPEAKER_01]: High as a kite talking about ancient civilizations. 03:22.953 --> 03:30.569 [SPEAKER_01]: So which marketing, which like marketing brand house would put in front of you of a proposal that says, Hey, Jill, here's what we're going to do. 03:30.649 --> 03:32.413 [SPEAKER_01]: You're going to get stoned out of your mind. 03:33.034 --> 03:35.720 [SPEAKER_01]: You're going to have this guy that no one's ever heard of on your podcast. 03:35.740 --> 03:38.987 [SPEAKER_01]: And you're going to talk about ancient civilizations as if they're real. 03:39.338 --> 03:41.261 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's what we want you to do, right? 03:41.281 --> 03:43.465 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, you did get the hell off here. 03:43.825 --> 03:49.615 [SPEAKER_01]: But the crazy uniqueness of it for whatever space in time, that hit and now, you know, obviously, he's who he is. 03:49.695 --> 03:55.665 [SPEAKER_01]: But like, people forget that his show was kind of nothing until he did that Graham Hancock interview. 03:56.306 --> 04:04.840 [SPEAKER_01]: And it was the Graham Hancock interview, which was so bananas that he would plot, you know, platform this guy who talks about this thing that 04:04.820 --> 04:13.330 [SPEAKER_01]: you know at the time was I mean today almost it's like it's more science than not science but I mean this was 15 years ago and I need to listen to it. 04:13.431 --> 04:21.220 [SPEAKER_01]: I like to know what you're talking about so I'm like oh I should probably not sorry oh so so there's a guy I mean I'm nerdy a shit so please take that with a greener. 04:21.240 --> 04:22.942 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm I'm a fellow nerd so I love it. 04:22.962 --> 04:29.670 [SPEAKER_00]: I usually listen to more the academic like podcasts and so that's why I don't I don't listen to Joe Rogan but I know who he is. 04:30.011 --> 04:31.873 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes 04:31.853 --> 04:41.986 [SPEAKER_01]: you know, whether you like all of his stuff or not, the one thing that I find the most intriguing about him is he will give these will call them alternative scientists, the ability to tell their story. 04:42.526 --> 04:56.123 [SPEAKER_01]: Some of them end up being a little nutsy, but in the case of Graham Hancock, he is literally the guy who has pushed this narrative of there was a civilization before the last 04:56.103 --> 04:58.266 [SPEAKER_01]: pseudo science, no one believed it. 04:58.286 --> 04:59.427 [SPEAKER_01]: He was laughed out of rooms. 04:59.828 --> 05:05.616 [SPEAKER_01]: And then he wrote this book called the fingerprints of the gods, which will blow your mind if you're into history, like ancient history, it'll blow your mind. 05:06.016 --> 05:09.941 [SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to believe it, but there's too much evidence for their, wow. 05:09.961 --> 05:10.822 [SPEAKER_01]: There's us. 05:10.842 --> 05:11.764 [SPEAKER_01]: There's something there. 05:12.184 --> 05:12.745 [SPEAKER_01]: What is there? 05:12.785 --> 05:14.147 [SPEAKER_01]: We don't know, but there's something there. 05:14.187 --> 05:14.908 [SPEAKER_01]: There absolutely is. 05:15.449 --> 05:17.571 [SPEAKER_01]: And I could go down, I could do an entire four hour. 05:17.611 --> 05:21.857 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm so fascinated by this idea that there was this entire civilization, which 05:21.837 --> 05:33.881 [SPEAKER_01]: 11,000 years ago was essentially wiped out by a media or hittering or whatever media or asteroid hitting the world and creating the younger giants that 1,000 years that brought the ice age back. 05:34.903 --> 05:37.568 [SPEAKER_01]: This dude is just this obscure. 05:37.548 --> 05:42.016 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know where, you know, kind of wrote this book, which Joe liked, but it's very obscure. 05:42.156 --> 05:47.104 [SPEAKER_01]: Heiper, heiperics here, like deep, deep reddit cut obscure, and then Joe brings him on the platform. 05:47.525 --> 05:54.797 [SPEAKER_01]: And he's smoking a joint on the show, you know, with this guy, they talk for three and a half hours about how. 05:54.777 --> 06:11.456 [SPEAKER_01]: Graham believes there was a civilization before like Mesopotamia like we're taught, you know, we were all just shooting buffalo and running around in loincloths and then Mesopotamia happened also and we had writing and kings and rules and grams like that's not the way humans work. 06:11.496 --> 06:20.286 [SPEAKER_01]: Like you don't go from no language, nothing written to, you know, to Hama Rabi like in the period of like 50 years. 06:20.306 --> 06:24.210 [SPEAKER_01]: Like that's just that there's no way that that happens and so he's got 06:25.270 --> 06:30.376 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, Joe's entire platform off of that episode was that was the first major leap. 06:31.257 --> 06:39.247 [SPEAKER_01]: And no branding specialist, no PR specialist, nobody would ever come to you and say, this is the guy you should have on your show. 06:39.607 --> 06:45.654 [SPEAKER_01]: But because he did that, it separated him from every other podcaster and launched him into the stratosphere. 06:45.694 --> 06:49.759 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, so I follow your heart, talk about what fires you up. 06:49.739 --> 07:11.207 [SPEAKER_00]: even if it's not popular and then you get an alignment because I feel like for for me, I'm I've never been busier like I feel like I'm in the middle of a hurricane because there's so much going on but I feel like incomplete alignment with what I meant to do so like I'm just I'm going to stay on the path like I just I feel like now I know I am on the path and doing what I meant to do 07:11.187 --> 07:12.389 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's fun. 07:12.749 --> 07:14.371 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not a psychologist. 07:14.491 --> 07:16.374 [SPEAKER_01]: I had to cheat my way to a math major in college. 07:16.554 --> 07:22.342 [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm as much a neophyte on this, but I would say I'm an armchair psychologist. 07:22.782 --> 07:31.214 [SPEAKER_01]: Mostly I was raised by a mother that liked to break people down and I was forced to listen to her philosophical breakdowns on all the humans in our lives. 07:31.254 --> 07:34.478 [SPEAKER_01]: So I became very interested in how humans tick. 07:34.947 --> 07:43.817 [SPEAKER_01]: I do not understand why so many people are willing to trade what they really want for a little bit of discomfort. 07:46.681 --> 07:52.668 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I mean, you just get to the heart of what I care about and what I study. 07:52.788 --> 08:03.300 [SPEAKER_00]: And the reason for this is the way humans evolved is that we, 08:03.280 --> 08:10.854 [SPEAKER_00]: ran away from what was dangerous or what scared us or or risk, and it's what kept us alive. 08:11.796 --> 08:18.750 [SPEAKER_00]: So when people don't go after what they want because of discomfort or fear, it's not their fault. 08:19.010 --> 08:21.735 [SPEAKER_00]: It is the way that our brains are wired. 08:22.316 --> 08:25.322 [SPEAKER_00]: Dr. Daniel Kahneman, 08:25.302 --> 08:35.416 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, did groundbreaking research in this area and discovered that work twice is motivated to avoid what we fear than to move toward what we want. 08:37.158 --> 08:51.698 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's why I'm so passionate about doing this work is I think people just do what's easy they it'll be they'll always you know I in front of my office I have all these things around my office, but I've got the picture of when hercules made the decision do you. 08:51.678 --> 08:56.766 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you know, do you have to, you may have to make the choice, do you live a life of virtue, which will be hard? 08:57.868 --> 09:08.866 [SPEAKER_00]: And filled with challenges and discomfort, you know, and go this way, or do you want to live a life of luxury of everything given to you with this beautiful woman, right? 09:08.886 --> 09:10.048 [SPEAKER_00]: And he had to make that choice. 09:10.108 --> 09:16.538 [SPEAKER_00]: So if we just do what naturally comes to us, we're going to choose a life of comfort. 09:16.518 --> 09:28.954 [SPEAKER_00]: and not choose a life of virtue, but it's very short-sighted because in the short-term or more comfortable, and we think it makes us happier because we want to do what's going to feel better. 09:29.655 --> 09:34.461 [SPEAKER_00]: But in the long-term, it makes you much less happy. 09:34.541 --> 09:44.854 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you look at the Hercules, if you would have gone down the life of pleasure, you wouldn't have had a very 09:44.834 --> 09:54.485 [SPEAKER_00]: you know, I'm trying to educate people on if you want to have the most successful life, if you want to have the happiest life, you need to get uncomfortable and it's going to feel unnatural. 09:54.645 --> 09:58.209 [SPEAKER_00]: Like doing things scared is going to feel unnatural. 09:58.229 --> 09:59.791 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's the way it's supposed to be. 09:59.831 --> 10:02.073 [SPEAKER_00]: And this is where so many people think, like, I'm just not brave. 10:02.093 --> 10:03.515 [SPEAKER_00]: It just like, I can't do that. 10:03.895 --> 10:12.445 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's that is part of the way you're wired, that is 10:12.425 --> 10:15.608 [SPEAKER_00]: overcome it, we can train ourselves to be brave. 10:16.429 --> 10:23.236 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's, you know, what I have to respond to that is, you know, because I want to give people a little, you know, I want to give the benefit of the doubt. 10:23.256 --> 10:26.099 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not that they're, their whims or their cowards. 10:26.399 --> 10:33.887 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just that this is what they're naturally doing is to avoid risk and we are wired to do that. 10:34.047 --> 10:39.192 [SPEAKER_00]: But we can, you know, we 10:39.273 --> 10:43.921 [SPEAKER_01]: It seems very counterintuitive that comfort shouldn't be the goal, right? 10:43.961 --> 10:49.390 [SPEAKER_01]: That's the thing that I always think about is like, I get why it's such a trap. 10:49.450 --> 10:51.454 [SPEAKER_01]: And I fall into it as well. 10:51.514 --> 10:55.260 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I mean, I think we're all guilty at different times of falling into it. 10:55.280 --> 10:55.881 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, ah. 10:56.148 --> 11:04.602 [SPEAKER_01]: Had a long day, you know, just, you know, instead of insert thing I've meant to do, you know, or, you know, so I'm a, I've been divorced for four years as so single dad. 11:04.983 --> 11:15.540 [SPEAKER_01]: So if anyone out there can feel this than you understand, I will sleep next to a pile of unfolded clean clothes for days because I just. 11:15.520 --> 11:25.857 [SPEAKER_01]: to have a million other things going on, and because I'm sleeping by myself most of the time, you know, a pile of clothes isn't a big deal, and the other half of the bed, and I'll get to it when I get to it. 11:26.177 --> 11:31.386 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, I look at that, and I'm like, my reason for saying that is, 11:31.366 --> 11:33.370 [SPEAKER_01]: I just need to fold the clothes like the right there. 11:33.410 --> 11:34.051 [SPEAKER_01]: It drives me nuts. 11:34.492 --> 11:35.734 [SPEAKER_01]: Walk into the bedroom to go to bed. 11:35.754 --> 11:36.415 [SPEAKER_01]: I stare at him. 11:36.455 --> 11:38.499 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I just need to fold those stupid clothes. 11:38.780 --> 11:41.966 [SPEAKER_01]: But that's a half hour of me doing something that I don't want to do. 11:41.986 --> 11:48.177 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's just much more comfortable to shove that pile of clothes the other side of the bed and crawl in and I'll never know the difference. 11:48.157 --> 12:09.405 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, so just stupid example, but it's like real life decisions like that like every day and all these little micro decisions that we choose to to go with the comfort route versus like what we need to do so if we feel ourselves like I guess how would you describe the tension so I I make that decision and I get into bed. 12:09.385 --> 12:16.054 [SPEAKER_01]: There is a tension that I feel though, it's a micro-tension because it's not like this is some monumental, you know, nothing super negative is going to happen to me. 12:16.154 --> 12:19.678 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe a little bit of embarrassment, although I just shared it with 200,000 plus people. 12:20.139 --> 12:20.780 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to do this. 12:22.502 --> 12:37.722 [SPEAKER_01]: Like there is a little bit of micro tension that I feel if like what is that signal, how do you pick up on that signal to know I'm starting to make too many decisions that are come for based and not what I need to do like it feels like you don't fall off this path. 12:37.702 --> 12:42.535 [SPEAKER_01]: Like in one big step, it feels like a series of micro comfort decisions get to you. 12:42.615 --> 12:44.741 [SPEAKER_01]: Does that, what you're finding is that what you see? 12:45.202 --> 12:52.521 [SPEAKER_00]: I think what comes to me as you describe that is sometimes we allow decisions. 12:52.771 --> 12:58.221 [SPEAKER_00]: the decisions we make on what we do to be guided by our feelings or our motivation. 12:58.682 --> 13:03.450 [SPEAKER_00]: So I think that's where the flaw is sometimes you're like, I'm just going to wake up in the morning like, what do I feel like doing? 13:04.232 --> 13:07.237 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I don't feel like working out, so I'm not going to work out. 13:07.378 --> 13:13.108 [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't feel like getting the work done, and I don't feel like I'm not motivated to fold the clothes. 13:13.088 --> 13:21.090 [SPEAKER_00]: and motivation is overrated, and as you talk about that tension, you kind of know you should fold the clothes, but you don't feel like it. 13:21.331 --> 13:25.543 [SPEAKER_00]: And so this is so central to, and I'm going to cite a couple of researchers here. 13:25.623 --> 13:28.110 [SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, 13:28.090 --> 13:58.097 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to first sight Roy Bound myster his research and he he's done research on basically will power motivation right you know and and what he says is we've got a limited amount of psychological resources each day so imagine that you have a full battery in the morning and then throughout the day your battery goes down and then your batteries basically on on that red last bar before you go to bed and so you're likely to do the uncomfortable hard thing we have the best chance of doing that first thing in the morning 13:58.077 --> 14:09.182 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, so one of the things we can do to overcome that resistance is really this goes down to the discipline of planning our days of thinking about, so instead of just saying like, what am I going to do tomorrow? 14:09.242 --> 14:16.238 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just going to wake up and just see what I feel like doing, but no, instead think about what are my goals? 14:17.298 --> 14:29.144 [SPEAKER_00]: what kind of person do I want to be and let me plan what will I do tomorrow that is consistent with the person that I want to be and will help me make progress on my goals. 14:30.046 --> 14:33.433 [SPEAKER_00]: So what really helps and this is also um 14:33.413 --> 14:36.821 [SPEAKER_00]: goal with serves research that talks about implementation and tensions. 14:36.901 --> 14:40.470 [SPEAKER_00]: So don't just wait to see what you feel like doing, but plan ahead of time. 14:40.530 --> 14:47.306 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I will do these things because they're the right thing to do for me to achieve my goals. 14:48.188 --> 14:48.368 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 14:48.448 --> 14:51.355 [SPEAKER_00]: So that simple thing, and then I always tell people like, 14:51.335 --> 14:57.664 [SPEAKER_00]: pre-load the hardest things that things that you dread doing most, maybe it's folding the laundry, some people, it's working out. 14:57.704 --> 15:03.252 [SPEAKER_00]: Like if you love working out, then you might want to do that later in the day and do that start writing the book in the morning. 15:03.293 --> 15:11.705 [SPEAKER_00]: So whatever you have the most resistance where you don't want to do it, you really want to, I call it when I, I speak, I'm a keynote speaker around the world, right? 15:11.725 --> 15:15.450 [SPEAKER_00]: So when I'm on the stage, I call it attack the day because of my Marine Corps background. 15:15.510 --> 15:18.675 [SPEAKER_00]: And like Marines don't get up and go like, 15:18.655 --> 15:23.482 [SPEAKER_00]: No, we have our battle plans the day before, and we wake up and we attack the day, right? 15:23.502 --> 15:30.853 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, so, you know, have your battle plans to be able to attack the day, and then sometimes it does have to feel like attack. 15:30.873 --> 15:35.059 [SPEAKER_00]: Like this thing I don't wanna do, I'm like, oh, I'm just gonna jump in, I'm gonna attack, I'm gonna get it done. 15:35.419 --> 15:43.691 [SPEAKER_00]: But what happens is when you do the hardest thing, the first thing in the morning, how do you think someone feels after they get that done? 15:44.933 --> 15:47.717 [SPEAKER_00]: How do you feel like when you fold that laundry? 15:48.659 --> 15:51.065 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh gosh, I'm so glad I got that done. 15:51.366 --> 15:53.050 [SPEAKER_00]: You actually feel better. 15:53.070 --> 15:54.795 [SPEAKER_00]: You feel that dopamine hit. 15:54.815 --> 15:59.186 [SPEAKER_00]: So you see, even this little example you think, I don't want to fall the laundry because I just, I don't feel like it. 15:59.206 --> 16:00.569 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to just be comfortable in the moment. 16:01.251 --> 16:04.018 [SPEAKER_00]: But if you just do the damn laundry, 16:03.998 --> 16:07.923 [SPEAKER_00]: And it takes you 20 minutes, you're going to feel like, I feel so proud of myself. 16:08.024 --> 16:08.925 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel accomplished. 16:09.646 --> 16:11.288 [SPEAKER_00]: So this is where I'm always battling. 16:11.368 --> 16:12.330 [SPEAKER_00]: There's so many things I want to bring up. 16:12.350 --> 16:19.460 [SPEAKER_00]: But I want people to choose to do the things that are going to make you feel better at the end of the day and set a feel good in the moment. 16:19.840 --> 16:22.284 [SPEAKER_00]: So just at that's a really effective question. 16:22.544 --> 16:23.846 [SPEAKER_00]: Ask yourself this question through the day. 16:24.727 --> 16:26.089 [SPEAKER_00]: What does my future self? 16:26.529 --> 16:32.638 [SPEAKER_00]: My five PM, my six PM 16:32.618 --> 16:34.540 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm making progress toward my goals. 16:35.300 --> 16:40.405 [SPEAKER_00]: If you just develop a relationship with your future self, you're end of the day's self, and listen to that end of day's self. 16:40.845 --> 16:43.608 [SPEAKER_00]: Ryan, you're end of the day's self, and say, fold the damn laundry. 16:43.888 --> 16:46.150 [SPEAKER_00]: You're like, all right, and listen to that future coach. 16:46.591 --> 16:54.217 [SPEAKER_00]: And the other motivator I can use as well is sometimes like, we think of, what do I want to do in the moment? 16:54.237 --> 16:56.119 [SPEAKER_00]: What is the risk to my comfort right now? 16:56.239 --> 16:59.362 [SPEAKER_00]: But what we can do is we can try to amplify the future risk. 16:59.382 --> 17:02.625 [SPEAKER_00]: If I don't work out today, 17:02.605 --> 17:05.831 [SPEAKER_00]: How will I feel later, or how will that impact my goal? 17:05.951 --> 17:08.015 [SPEAKER_00]: So this is Dr. Cynthia Puray. 17:08.136 --> 17:11.322 [SPEAKER_00]: She is a professor at Clemson University. 17:11.422 --> 17:13.646 [SPEAKER_00]: She's a researcher in bravery. 17:13.666 --> 17:24.327 [SPEAKER_00]: And she says, when people do brave things, usually in the moment they are scared, but when they try to amplify the risk, 17:24.307 --> 17:27.771 [SPEAKER_00]: or what's scary if I don't do it, it really helps. 17:27.791 --> 17:30.114 [SPEAKER_00]: So these are like these little psychological tools. 17:30.214 --> 17:35.621 [SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of them is just imagining like, what is the risk down the road if I don't do this thing right now? 17:36.702 --> 17:36.943 [SPEAKER_00]: Right? 17:37.163 --> 17:38.925 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you do that, it'll help with that. 17:39.526 --> 17:44.112 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, you want to make yourself uncomfortable with the person that you'll be at the end of the day if you don't do it. 17:44.252 --> 17:47.035 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you think about that, it can motivate you to do the right things. 17:47.095 --> 17:51.681 [SPEAKER_00]: And what I really want is I want people at the end of the day to look in the mirror. 17:53.028 --> 18:09.096 [SPEAKER_00]: with pride and feel good like you know what I'm proud of the day I had and then that is when you can rest and then I want people to have comfort but it's amazing when you work really hard throughout the day or if you have a really good workout how good it feels like to relax. 18:09.076 --> 18:14.427 [SPEAKER_00]: But if I've been sitting on my ass all day, not binging Netflix, eating potato chips. 18:14.988 --> 18:18.635 [SPEAKER_00]: And at the end of the day, I'm relaxing on the couch. 18:18.856 --> 18:20.098 [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't feel good to relax. 18:20.319 --> 18:25.830 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you work really hard, it feels really good to give yourself a break at the end of the day, right? 18:26.111 --> 18:30.780 [SPEAKER_00]: But if you work out your body really hard, like my favorite thing as I love, 18:30.845 --> 18:38.777 [SPEAKER_00]: really getting it after the gym, you know, and then like getting an I have a massage chair in my house right and getting in the feel so good. 18:38.797 --> 18:42.282 [SPEAKER_00]: But notice like when I get in the massage chair and my muscles aren't very sore. 18:42.362 --> 18:43.264 [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't feel as good. 18:44.966 --> 18:48.111 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, there's such a mental reward to earning it. 18:49.627 --> 19:05.352 [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's why, you know, you see people who kind of, you hear these stories of like, came over here when they were five as with immigrant parents and built this business and you know, all the six, and they just they walk around, you meet those people and they walk around with the sense of pride. 19:05.372 --> 19:10.420 [SPEAKER_01]: No matter where their business is, no matter where it ranks, they're just to sense of pride and everything. 19:10.841 --> 19:13.525 [SPEAKER_01]: And then you can see the same person, but 19:13.505 --> 19:14.790 [SPEAKER_01]: their parents had already been here. 19:15.231 --> 19:17.159 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it's the second generation of that individual. 19:17.179 --> 19:19.608 [SPEAKER_01]: They were given that business or they were given a portion of it. 19:19.929 --> 19:22.097 [SPEAKER_01]: They may even be high functioning. 19:22.887 --> 19:31.018 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, in terms of, you know, they may not just be complete slackers, you know, they, but there isn't that same sense of like, I earned this. 19:31.199 --> 19:35.144 [SPEAKER_01]: I went out and there's always that tension with the second generation. 19:35.204 --> 19:51.747 [SPEAKER_01]: You can tell the ones that like were forced to start down in the mailroom and the ones that walked right into the C suite, there is the way they operate, talk, act, there is such a difference between those two people, even if they've taken the business to the exact 19:51.963 --> 19:53.785 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's, that's so true. 19:53.825 --> 19:58.429 [SPEAKER_00]: We as human beings, we are built to strive physically. 19:58.489 --> 20:00.230 [SPEAKER_00]: That's why we have to move our bodies. 20:00.410 --> 20:02.412 [SPEAKER_00]: That's why we have to lift heavy things. 20:03.413 --> 20:09.118 [SPEAKER_00]: Right, resistance training, like our bodies will thrive when we strive. 20:09.638 --> 20:16.965 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's kind of a little key term, like we thrive when we're striving to do more, to get uncomfortable. 20:16.985 --> 20:20.788 [SPEAKER_00]: So both physically, but also psychologically. 20:21.072 --> 20:21.873 [SPEAKER_00]: psychologically. 20:22.154 --> 20:25.519 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's where I want people to challenge themselves physically. 20:25.559 --> 20:26.440 [SPEAKER_00]: That's really important. 20:26.680 --> 20:30.206 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, if it is, but also I want people to challenge themselves psychologically. 20:30.246 --> 20:31.728 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, what's the thing that you really want? 20:32.249 --> 20:34.813 [SPEAKER_00]: That you keep saying, ah, someday. 20:34.873 --> 20:37.136 [SPEAKER_00]: That is such a dangerous word. 20:38.618 --> 20:39.379 [SPEAKER_00]: Someday. 20:40.601 --> 20:48.413 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, and if you wait until you're ready, if you wait until you're confident, 20:48.477 --> 21:00.798 [SPEAKER_01]: Also, you know, I'm 45 and I think like why wait until I'm older, you know, my brain's not going to work any better than it does today. 21:00.838 --> 21:08.872 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going to be, you know, my body, although I, I also am very big into fitness and longevity, you know, I'd like to believe my body is doing well. 21:09.253 --> 21:10.114 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not. 21:10.094 --> 21:15.742 [SPEAKER_01]: gonna get younger, you know, I may not age as fast, but we haven't yet determined how to turn age around. 21:15.822 --> 21:16.783 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. 21:16.803 --> 21:24.654 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe done your bio-age, like, you know, how you can, like, test your bio-age, and you can actually be like, I just had mine, I'm like, I'm 42 years old. 21:25.295 --> 21:28.579 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna be 52, but like, my bio-age is like, you know. 21:30.041 --> 21:30.442 [SPEAKER_01]: So, that's amazing. 21:30.462 --> 21:30.922 [SPEAKER_01]: Right, right. 21:31.162 --> 21:31.903 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's just great. 21:32.304 --> 21:34.667 [SPEAKER_01]: I definitely don't have 10 years on my bio-age. 21:34.767 --> 21:38.953 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm also about 42 on my bio-age, but, 21:38.933 --> 21:40.024 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I'm not going to do that. 21:40.045 --> 21:40.590 [SPEAKER_01]: That's impressive. 21:40.610 --> 21:42.227 [SPEAKER_01]: That's amazing. 21:42.730 --> 21:43.551 [SPEAKER_01]: Where was I going with that? 21:43.871 --> 21:46.935 [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, when people say someday and they wait and they wait. 21:47.015 --> 21:50.439 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's like, what do we replace someday with? 21:50.580 --> 21:52.242 [SPEAKER_01]: Because I understand why people do it, right? 21:52.302 --> 21:57.929 [SPEAKER_01]: Life is busy, particularly, let's say you're in the, like, where I got kids that are 10 and 12. 21:58.009 --> 22:00.312 [SPEAKER_01]: I can hear one of them, my podcast studio. 22:00.332 --> 22:01.293 [SPEAKER_01]: I built in my basement. 22:01.513 --> 22:04.957 [SPEAKER_01]: I can hear them stomping around upstairs because they're off from school for some reason. 22:04.977 --> 22:07.641 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why it's two days before Easter break. 22:07.701 --> 22:09.223 [SPEAKER_01]: So I don't know why he's home, but he's home. 22:09.743 --> 22:11.185 [SPEAKER_01]: So like, you know, 22:11.165 --> 22:13.509 [SPEAKER_01]: I can, there's all these excuses that I can use. 22:13.529 --> 22:20.362 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, my kids have sports, or, you know, I'm only a single guy, or, you know, whatever excuse I want to input. 22:20.422 --> 22:24.550 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm, I'm ex-age, I wasn't born into ex-family, you know. 22:25.677 --> 22:32.771 [SPEAKER_01]: So someday, the moon will be in the sign of Aquarius and the heavens will open and everything will be perfect for me to walk down that path. 22:32.791 --> 22:36.398 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, the horse or something is everybody here at the year though, yeah, we're waiting till the spot. 22:36.940 --> 22:40.747 [SPEAKER_00]: Are there any signs like line up, like, yeah, yeah. 22:40.767 --> 22:41.469 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, let me answer that. 22:41.529 --> 22:44.314 [SPEAKER_00]: So what do we replace someday with? 22:44.715 --> 22:45.677 [SPEAKER_00]: I have an answer for that. 22:47.176 --> 22:49.719 [SPEAKER_00]: And the answer to that is today. 22:50.480 --> 22:54.384 [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of some day, we need to replace that with today. 22:54.444 --> 22:58.409 [SPEAKER_00]: And if I look at what is bravery. 22:58.449 --> 23:10.483 [SPEAKER_00]: So when we research bravery, bravery is defined as voluntary action in the presence of fear toward a noble or worthwhile goal. 23:11.476 --> 23:17.426 [SPEAKER_00]: So think about that in bravery, voluntary action in the presence of fear toward a noble worthwhile goal. 23:18.368 --> 23:21.213 [SPEAKER_00]: So some day is because we keep waiting. 23:21.253 --> 23:24.017 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, okay, I wanna wait until I'm not scared. 23:24.078 --> 23:29.487 [SPEAKER_00]: Like right now there's some fear, there's some discomfort, which is why I don't wanna do it today. 23:29.527 --> 23:33.113 [SPEAKER_00]: Some day, some day, I'm waiting until I feel ready. 23:33.093 --> 23:34.256 [SPEAKER_00]: or the time is right. 23:34.276 --> 23:35.158 [SPEAKER_00]: And you know what fear? 23:35.980 --> 23:40.892 [SPEAKER_00]: So just notice that definition of bravery, fear is part of the equation. 23:40.952 --> 23:46.967 [SPEAKER_00]: Once there's no fear, you're not brave anymore, because bravery is taking a step scared. 23:47.335 --> 23:48.817 [SPEAKER_00]: because something really matters. 23:49.358 --> 23:53.503 [SPEAKER_00]: So what we're doing with someday is we're just waiting until the fear to disappear. 23:53.543 --> 23:55.486 [SPEAKER_00]: So like I tell people like fear is not a bad thing. 23:55.706 --> 23:59.211 [SPEAKER_00]: Fear is a signpost usually pointing you to exactly what you need to be doing. 23:59.271 --> 24:01.034 [SPEAKER_00]: But no, we feel fear and we run away from it. 24:01.715 --> 24:07.442 [SPEAKER_00]: So what I teach people to do is we need to stop hesitating because usually you know exactly what you need to do. 24:08.023 --> 24:08.163 [SPEAKER_00]: Right? 24:08.183 --> 24:11.848 [SPEAKER_00]: You know that I should get started in that project I always wanted to. 24:11.949 --> 24:13.731 [SPEAKER_00]: I should call that, 24:13.897 --> 24:18.302 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe that relative that sibling that we had a falling out and we haven't talked in three years. 24:18.362 --> 24:21.186 [SPEAKER_00]: Like I should repair that relationship, have that difficult relationship. 24:21.326 --> 24:26.272 [SPEAKER_00]: I should start the podcast I've always wanted to or start writing the book. 24:26.292 --> 24:33.000 [SPEAKER_00]: Like all these someday things, you know, instead of saying someday because of the fear, it's just, we need to get started today. 24:33.260 --> 24:42.992 [SPEAKER_00]: So, I mean, that's really what bravery as I try to help people to stop hesitating, to do the things that you know that you really need to do to achieve your goals, and start doing them today. 24:42.972 --> 24:49.080 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's not that I want somebody to say I've always somebody I'll climb out ever, and I want you to do tomorrow, or today. 24:49.120 --> 25:02.837 [SPEAKER_00]: That's ridiculous, but it's starting to take a step today of saying, okay, if I want to climb maybe Mount Kilimanjaro, right, if that's something that I want to do today, I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna hike five miles. 25:02.817 --> 25:08.271 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm at least create a plan to be able to like, I thought, I always wanted to climb out Kilimanjaro, which I want to do. 25:08.412 --> 25:09.595 [SPEAKER_00]: So I want to do it in 2027. 25:09.735 --> 25:12.442 [SPEAKER_00]: So now I got to plan a date when I'm going to do it in 2027. 25:12.542 --> 25:17.074 [SPEAKER_00]: Let me plan what I'm going to do it and let me back plan all the training that I need to do. 25:17.094 --> 25:18.919 [SPEAKER_00]: And then what 25:18.899 --> 25:19.560 [SPEAKER_00]: Can I do today? 25:19.620 --> 25:21.021 [SPEAKER_00]: I can go out and hike five miles a day. 25:21.081 --> 25:23.804 [SPEAKER_00]: But we have to start at least taking some steps toward it. 25:23.864 --> 25:25.626 [SPEAKER_00]: So take a little baby step. 25:25.646 --> 25:29.110 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you at least come up with the plan and how you're going to do it. 25:29.130 --> 25:30.491 [SPEAKER_00]: That's your baby step today. 25:30.591 --> 25:32.473 [SPEAKER_00]: And then tomorrow you start executing. 25:32.534 --> 25:46.088 [SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, I sometimes have a problem with people that talk about manifesting because manifesting sometimes means to people that I'm just going to sit in my room and I'm going to dream and go. 25:47.738 --> 25:48.621 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to be famous. 25:49.463 --> 25:50.165 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to be rich. 25:50.185 --> 25:57.225 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to Lamborghini and I'm just going to sit here and I'm going to just think about it and want it and put it on the universe right that I want it. 25:58.420 --> 26:02.524 [SPEAKER_00]: And they just wait for it to happen. 26:03.164 --> 26:07.288 [SPEAKER_00]: So I do believe in mindset because my work is grounded in cognitive psychology. 26:07.308 --> 26:10.971 [SPEAKER_00]: So we do need to master the mindset, but we can't stay in the dreamer world. 26:11.051 --> 26:13.494 [SPEAKER_00]: We can't just be wishing for it or manifesting. 26:14.094 --> 26:19.899 [SPEAKER_00]: And some people that I've talked to about manifesting, they're like, no, manifesting requires you to take steps and then I'm okay with it. 26:20.500 --> 26:24.684 [SPEAKER_00]: So we can't just say, like, I want this, I want this, I want this, I want this someday someday. 26:24.784 --> 26:28.427 [SPEAKER_00]: No, I want this, I want this, I want this. 26:28.407 --> 26:30.291 [SPEAKER_00]: This is where the cognitive psychology comes. 26:30.451 --> 26:34.118 [SPEAKER_00]: I believe that it's possible that I can do that, that I can forge the path to accomplish it. 26:34.559 --> 26:36.182 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to take a small step today. 26:36.964 --> 26:43.497 [SPEAKER_00]: So we need to move from some day, being in a dream state to saying, I will. 26:43.477 --> 26:44.138 [SPEAKER_00]: do something. 26:44.178 --> 26:45.019 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to take a step today. 26:45.279 --> 26:52.828 [SPEAKER_00]: And if each day we take little steps, you know, we don't I mean, you probably know like the power of habit, things like that, we are what we consistently do, right? 26:52.888 --> 26:55.912 [SPEAKER_00]: If you want to write a book, that means you need to, what does a writer do? 26:55.952 --> 26:57.614 [SPEAKER_00]: They write every day. 26:57.894 --> 26:59.076 [SPEAKER_00]: So what are you going to write today? 26:59.136 --> 26:59.416 [SPEAKER_00]: Right? 26:59.596 --> 27:01.639 [SPEAKER_00]: A hundred words today. 27:01.659 --> 27:02.981 [SPEAKER_00]: So we need to start saying today. 27:03.041 --> 27:05.063 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you're scared, 27:05.043 --> 27:05.464 [SPEAKER_00]: Good. 27:06.305 --> 27:10.972 [SPEAKER_00]: You should be scared because it means you're getting out of your comfort zone. 27:11.292 --> 27:14.998 [SPEAKER_00]: You're moving toward what you really want because it's really important. 27:15.719 --> 27:22.269 [SPEAKER_00]: And the more you take steps toward what you want even though you're scared, you'll get more used to what you'll build your bravery muscle. 27:22.289 --> 27:23.711 [SPEAKER_00]: You'll actually do some rewiring your brain. 27:24.272 --> 27:27.557 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm with you on the 27:27.858 --> 27:29.660 [SPEAKER_01]: I always thought it was complete nonsense. 27:30.261 --> 27:33.185 [SPEAKER_01]: I read the secret, I was like, this is insane. 27:34.186 --> 27:39.213 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I had a couple of manifesting experts on the show. 27:39.273 --> 27:39.954 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 27:40.255 --> 27:44.200 [SPEAKER_01]: That's the beauty of having a podcast as you get to reach out to people and stuff to you. 27:44.420 --> 27:45.201 [SPEAKER_00]: Have a good afternoon. 27:45.241 --> 27:46.163 [SPEAKER_00]: Have a good afternoon. 27:46.183 --> 27:46.543 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 27:46.563 --> 27:50.288 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'd say one of, one thing, 27:50.369 --> 27:54.534 [SPEAKER_01]: Two of them were the most engaged shows in terms of like back and forth. 27:54.674 --> 27:58.258 [SPEAKER_01]: People are very, people have a lot of opinions about manifesting. 27:58.278 --> 28:09.451 [SPEAKER_01]: I think if you're looking up pure engagement harvest any type of content, just make it all about manifesting, you will get crazy from both sides, going bananas, which is fun in its own way. 28:10.452 --> 28:11.754 [SPEAKER_01]: That's not why I did it, but I wanted to learn. 28:12.395 --> 28:16.900 [SPEAKER_01]: One of them was very much like, 28:16.998 --> 28:22.692 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to call it the more ethereal, foofoey, the universe listens to you. 28:22.712 --> 28:23.013 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 28:23.916 --> 28:27.605 [SPEAKER_01]: And the other was very much grounded in, like, the practicality. 28:28.026 --> 28:28.928 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I'm so excited. 28:28.948 --> 28:29.289 [SPEAKER_01]: Who will? 28:30.111 --> 28:30.613 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 28:30.633 --> 28:31.615 [SPEAKER_01]: And, and. 28:32.017 --> 28:49.063 [SPEAKER_01]: And I thought, you know, I'll be honest with you, when I heard the argument for manifestation from a psychological standpoint, from how the brain actually works, you know, it's kind of, I always forget the name of this principle, but it's like when you buy a red car, all of a sudden you see red cars everywhere, kind of thing. 28:49.043 --> 28:50.325 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, that's what you're doing. 28:50.646 --> 28:57.779 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, from a, if you're doing manifesting right, right, you are basically just giving your brain a signal to look for the thing that you want. 28:57.839 --> 28:59.142 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I want to be a speaker. 28:59.242 --> 28:59.523 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 28:59.543 --> 29:00.264 [SPEAKER_01]: What do I have to do? 29:00.605 --> 29:03.129 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm looking for opportunities to speak. 29:03.189 --> 29:04.933 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm looking for event planners. 29:04.973 --> 29:08.059 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm looking for new pieces of content to fit into my right. 29:08.079 --> 29:09.662 [SPEAKER_01]: So now you're brain like has a signal. 29:09.822 --> 29:10.984 [SPEAKER_01]: That makes sense to me. 29:12.837 --> 29:20.932 [SPEAKER_01]: It's very hard for me to believe that the universe cares enough about us, that if we just think about something and sitting with our legs crossed, that somehow's going to come to us. 29:20.992 --> 29:22.034 [SPEAKER_01]: I just don't know that it does. 29:22.595 --> 29:24.418 [SPEAKER_01]: However, here's a question I have for you. 29:25.300 --> 29:33.675 [SPEAKER_01]: How do we know that the thing we're some daying is actually worth doing today? 29:34.095 --> 29:34.997 [SPEAKER_01]: Because 29:35.720 --> 29:47.923 [SPEAKER_01]: I, you know, just, again, from having enough people on the show, I do know that a part of procrastination is an unconscious part of our brain saying that thing is not worth the effort, right? 29:47.963 --> 29:49.125 [SPEAKER_01]: The juices and word to squeeze. 29:49.145 --> 29:58.403 [SPEAKER_01]: There is, there is a portion of, prep, prep procrastination, not all of it, but a portion of procrastination that is like our body going, I know you think you want that. 29:58.383 --> 30:00.185 [SPEAKER_01]: but you really really don't want that. 30:00.245 --> 30:03.409 [SPEAKER_01]: So like if we're trying to figure out, I have these some days. 30:03.469 --> 30:05.632 [SPEAKER_01]: I someday want to be a professional speaker. 30:05.652 --> 30:07.334 [SPEAKER_01]: I someday want to be a best seller. 30:07.374 --> 30:08.756 [SPEAKER_01]: Some day want to be an entrepreneur. 30:08.776 --> 30:09.677 [SPEAKER_01]: Whatever that thing is for you. 30:09.897 --> 30:12.120 [SPEAKER_01]: You're some day want to climb Mount Kilmer Darrow. 30:13.362 --> 30:18.828 [SPEAKER_01]: How do we start to pick the some days that are worth taking action on today and the some days that are not? 30:19.369 --> 30:20.070 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 30:20.590 --> 30:24.776 [SPEAKER_00]: I would I would point to the research on self-concordant goals. 30:25.096 --> 30:30.403 [SPEAKER_00]: It's it's about making sure you're choosing the goals that are really meaningful to you, right? 30:30.463 --> 30:34.609 [SPEAKER_00]: Like my husband thinks I'm crazy for wanting to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. 30:34.629 --> 30:36.211 [SPEAKER_00]: He's like, why would you want to do that? 30:36.291 --> 30:38.835 [SPEAKER_00]: So like there's certain I I'm running Spartans. 30:38.915 --> 30:42.019 [SPEAKER_00]: I did I ran my first Spartan and I got bit by the bugs. 30:42.039 --> 30:43.161 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing another one in a couple weeks. 30:43.181 --> 30:46.565 [SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm like, this is so fun. 30:46.645 --> 30:47.847 [SPEAKER_00]: He's like, 30:47.827 --> 30:53.193 [SPEAKER_00]: He would say, I'm not going to go through this because that's not what my goal is, but I that maybe it's my Marine Corps background. 30:53.233 --> 31:03.344 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that stuff is fun and I have, you know, so you've got to make sure that whatever goals that you set their self-concordant, which is basically means that they are aligned with your intrinsic motivators. 31:03.664 --> 31:07.128 [SPEAKER_00]: If someone wants to be a doctor, why do they want to be a doctor? 31:07.208 --> 31:14.256 [SPEAKER_00]: Is it because it's a deep rooted desire in them that they they love medicine, they want to help people, they may be have a story of 31:14.236 --> 31:20.246 [SPEAKER_00]: something that impacts them, but if they're parents, tell them like, you need to be a doctor, see the difference there? 31:20.346 --> 31:22.891 [SPEAKER_00]: So it should be intrinsically motivated goal. 31:22.991 --> 31:31.706 [SPEAKER_00]: And I can share a story too, like I decided when I was in my teenage years that I wanted to become a marine, right? 31:31.726 --> 31:36.514 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I applied, I got a full scholarship on the Marine Corps. 31:36.494 --> 31:45.382 [SPEAKER_00]: and it was that self-conquered and goal and when I showed up in San Diego to report into my Naval ROTC unit to begin my training. 31:45.402 --> 31:52.128 [SPEAKER_00]: So most people show up to college to just get to know their fellow freshman on campus and then have fun and party and then go to school. 31:52.168 --> 32:02.417 [SPEAKER_00]: But if you go to ROTC, you show up a week earlier for Naval ROTC orientation and then the Marines do their separate thing which is of course always harder because it's the few they proud. 32:02.998 --> 32:06.501 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's kind of 32:06.481 --> 32:09.927 [SPEAKER_00]: I was pretty confident because I earned the scholarship. 32:10.047 --> 32:15.677 [SPEAKER_00]: I had, I was physically fit, I had academic grade grades, I was a leader in high school. 32:15.737 --> 32:19.163 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I got the scholarship, I was kind of threatening going like I got messed up going on. 32:19.744 --> 32:20.846 [SPEAKER_00]: I was in for a rude awakening. 32:21.527 --> 32:26.616 [SPEAKER_00]: I showed up first of all, did not make the best decision on my... 32:26.596 --> 32:27.197 [SPEAKER_00]: outfit. 32:27.677 --> 32:31.661 [SPEAKER_00]: I was an 18-year-old girl, so I put a laugh out in my outfit, and I, this is so funny. 32:32.241 --> 32:36.165 [SPEAKER_00]: I knew I couldn't wear jeans because Marine Corps officers cannot wear jeans. 32:36.285 --> 32:38.327 [SPEAKER_00]: And like, if you're an 18-year-old kid, what are you going to wear? 32:38.387 --> 32:39.728 [SPEAKER_00]: Because this is all you wear as jeans. 32:40.309 --> 32:43.251 [SPEAKER_00]: And I didn't want to wear a dress, because I thought it would be too girly. 32:43.291 --> 32:48.596 [SPEAKER_00]: So I found the perfect, it was actually a hot pink outfit with white polka dots. 32:48.616 --> 32:55.843 [SPEAKER_00]: We're talking 32:55.823 --> 33:25.830 [SPEAKER_00]: it was a disaster because like I was I did not look like anyone else there's only two females the other one quit like halfway through the year and like that first day I had the guy I looked up to that was in charge of this this you know orientation on day one it came up to me and he leaned over and said you're never gonna make it you know as a Marine so you think of it there like for me like did I like that was a really hard day and then it got harder I mean then I showed 33:25.810 --> 33:45.189 [SPEAKER_00]: Like the little running I did was flat, I don't just school in San Diego, like there are hills, and that's exactly where they take Marines as to, we went and ran in the hills, so like my first run, that first Friday I couldn't keep up, and that is very shameful as a Marine if you can't keep up. 33:45.249 --> 33:51.075 [SPEAKER_00]: So on this 18 year old, it was miserable, but what it is I kept showing up. 33:52.068 --> 33:57.707 [SPEAKER_00]: And why did I keep showing up because it was worth it for me to earn the title. 33:57.873 --> 34:00.555 [SPEAKER_00]: of United States Marine, that was important to me. 34:00.595 --> 34:07.241 [SPEAKER_00]: And you don't know the thing that motivated me to, because that jerk said, you will never make it. 34:07.661 --> 34:09.423 [SPEAKER_00]: That motivated the crap out of me. 34:09.463 --> 34:18.150 [SPEAKER_00]: Like sometimes, I want to look into this and I don't know the answer from a psychological, like I psychologically, I want to know, why do some people hear something like that and believe it? 34:18.291 --> 34:19.492 [SPEAKER_00]: And their self-belief goes down. 34:19.532 --> 34:26.918 [SPEAKER_00]: And other people like me, you tell me, I can't do something like, oh, thank you so much, because now I'm, and it took me, Ryan, it took me years. 34:27.539 --> 34:30.684 [SPEAKER_00]: years to become that top performer. 34:30.824 --> 34:34.190 [SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't until between my junior and senior year. 34:34.210 --> 34:46.130 [SPEAKER_00]: So like freshman, sophomore, junior year, three years in college before I was at my, I was at the level where I was not only keeping up, but probably outperforming a lot of the Marines. 34:47.172 --> 34:50.998 [SPEAKER_00]: And because it was such a struggle, 34:51.468 --> 34:58.221 [SPEAKER_00]: I think accomplishing an earning the title of marine and getting my lieutenant bars put on it meant so much more. 34:58.505 --> 34:58.846 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 34:58.946 --> 35:09.122 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's really about making sure that you set, when you set challenging uncomfortable goals, I call them brave goals because if you're not a little scared, they're not really worth setting. 35:09.203 --> 35:10.685 [SPEAKER_00]: So goal should be a little scary. 35:11.386 --> 35:16.655 [SPEAKER_00]: Make sure that in there's going to be, there's going to be ups and downs to achieve your goal. 35:16.715 --> 35:18.798 [SPEAKER_00]: Just make sure that you want it badly enough. 35:19.019 --> 35:24.107 [SPEAKER_00]: It's really important to you intrinsically so that when you have those days when you're in the downs, you're not going to quit. 35:25.336 --> 35:28.123 [SPEAKER_00]: So hopefully, that story helps, you know, and my grandfathers. 35:28.564 --> 35:35.059 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, my grandfather was a marine, and I think part of my motivation, too, is I wanted, the Marine Corps was my ticket out of the Midwest. 35:35.821 --> 35:41.775 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I love being from the Midwest, but I didn't want to live in the same small town. 35:41.755 --> 35:45.721 [SPEAKER_00]: My dad was born in prior like Minnesota and he still lives there today has never moved out. 35:45.841 --> 35:47.002 [SPEAKER_00]: But for him, that's what he wanted. 35:47.043 --> 35:49.045 [SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to take it out of the Midwest. 35:49.065 --> 35:54.633 [SPEAKER_00]: I wanted my college paid for and I wanted a career of something that really mattered and was meaningful. 35:54.934 --> 35:57.497 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I, that's what motivated me. 35:57.517 --> 36:02.144 [SPEAKER_00]: And I, I was not, I guess what, that's what called to me. 36:02.184 --> 36:04.928 [SPEAKER_00]: But I didn't feel like 36:05.060 --> 36:07.504 [SPEAKER_00]: getting up and going to run three days a week with my unit. 36:08.024 --> 36:10.107 [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, that's the thing that I most want. 36:10.388 --> 36:11.470 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to do a void that. 36:11.590 --> 36:17.438 [SPEAKER_00]: I hate to doing it because I wasn't really keeping up for a very long time. 36:17.498 --> 36:23.147 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, I was a female keeping up with male Marines, but eventually I got there, you know? 36:23.848 --> 36:32.721 [SPEAKER_00]: So self-concordant, we just, and I can also quote Angela Duckworth, she wrote a book on 36:32.701 --> 36:48.516 [SPEAKER_00]: And what she says is, you first have to make, if you want to be gritty, if you want to have the grit, which is a long-term passion and perseverance in the pursuit of long-term goals, she says, you first have to start off with that burning desire. 36:48.536 --> 36:50.758 [SPEAKER_00]: It's got to be something you really want. 36:51.318 --> 36:52.599 [SPEAKER_00]: It's got to be aligned. 36:52.619 --> 36:57.524 [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't have that alignment, it's really hard to be gritty when it's something you don't really want. 36:57.544 --> 37:00.767 [SPEAKER_00]: So you've got to start off like, what are you interested in? 37:01.017 --> 37:03.381 [SPEAKER_00]: you know, what is something that you've always wanted to do? 37:03.481 --> 37:07.087 [SPEAKER_00]: So a little soul searching too of like, what do you care about? 37:07.207 --> 37:09.571 [SPEAKER_00]: What do you, what is the impact you want to make on the world? 37:09.651 --> 37:10.693 [SPEAKER_00]: What is it you really want? 37:10.713 --> 37:17.845 [SPEAKER_00]: And once you find that deep why, you really need to make sure you capture it because there are going to be times where you want to quit. 37:18.753 --> 37:21.977 [SPEAKER_00]: and you gotta go back to that Y, and that's gonna motivate you to keep going. 37:22.077 --> 37:24.180 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's really where the most growth happens. 37:24.200 --> 37:34.372 [SPEAKER_00]: I know I'm all over the place here, but when you know how like when you go into the gym and you have the hardest work out ever and you're super sore, like I did leg day and I have many of the walk for like the last three days, right? 37:34.392 --> 37:48.490 [SPEAKER_00]: But I know that my muscles are growing and getting stronger in those hardest moments where you just really wanna quit and you show up anyway, it's the equivalent of having a really hard workout 37:48.858 --> 38:00.095 [SPEAKER_00]: There's this is the part of the brain that you're getting a workout like your amygdala the feeling part of your brain is going like I don't want to do this this sucks it's it's it's it's it's the part of your brain trying to control your behavior and see comfort. 38:01.136 --> 38:10.150 [SPEAKER_00]: But you when you're getting that really really good work out and you're given a workout to your prefrontal cortex the part of the brain that's our executive functioning part of the brain, but also a little part of the brain in the back. 38:10.971 --> 38:17.160 [SPEAKER_00]: In the anterior singular cortex there's a little part in there called the mid singular cortex sometimes known as the. 38:17.140 --> 38:18.644 [SPEAKER_00]: courage part of our brain. 38:19.185 --> 38:26.964 [SPEAKER_00]: It's what really gets a workout when we do something hard when we really don't want to or we do something that requires that courage or that bravery. 38:27.726 --> 38:34.542 [SPEAKER_00]: So that part of our brain is getting stronger and then our brain is also creating more neural pathways. 38:34.522 --> 38:38.248 [SPEAKER_00]: between our prefrontal cortex and our mid-secular cortex. 38:38.429 --> 38:41.173 [SPEAKER_00]: So we see in the functional MRI that part of the brain working up. 38:41.214 --> 38:51.712 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's why I think when I explain the mechanism with the happening, at least for being a little bit of a science nerd myself, if I understand the mechanism of what's happening, it motivates me more. 38:52.192 --> 38:57.762 [SPEAKER_00]: So when I really don't feel like doing something, I go like, this is like me doing like, 38:57.742 --> 39:04.572 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, a max set of something at the gym and it really hurts and I like I savor it like I embrace it because I know it's going to make me stronger. 39:04.952 --> 39:09.979 [SPEAKER_00]: The same thing happens with this psychologically so when you really don't feel like it that's where it matters most. 39:10.760 --> 39:13.044 [SPEAKER_00]: That you keep that promise yourself and you do it anyway. 39:13.584 --> 39:18.231 [SPEAKER_00]: You're you're you're having the best workout and you're helping rewire your brain to do hard things. 39:18.515 --> 39:21.000 [SPEAKER_01]: First, we got to get you on some BPC 157. 39:21.060 --> 39:24.568 [SPEAKER_01]: So your recovery is in three days after, after leg day. 39:25.309 --> 39:28.315 [SPEAKER_00]: OK, I need to learn from you on there because I'm just doing creatine and glutamane. 39:28.335 --> 39:30.119 [SPEAKER_00]: So if I need to do in most of that. 39:30.139 --> 39:32.524 [SPEAKER_00]: If you have you looked into peptides at all? 39:32.673 --> 39:35.076 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what, I was just listening to a human podcast. 39:35.136 --> 39:38.160 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a huge, like, I love, like, I love you keep podcasts. 39:38.180 --> 39:41.424 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I was just listening to one on my work out this morning. 39:42.345 --> 39:43.647 [SPEAKER_00]: And they were talking all about it. 39:43.887 --> 39:47.732 [SPEAKER_00]: And I know there's not a lot of evidence out there yet, but it seems really promising. 39:47.752 --> 39:50.456 [SPEAKER_00]: And the podcast I was on, they're like, it seems to be safe. 39:50.977 --> 39:52.178 [SPEAKER_00]: There's no harm in doing it. 39:52.278 --> 39:54.081 [SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of people's experience, say, it's great. 39:54.101 --> 39:56.524 [SPEAKER_00]: So just this morning, I was like, I think I need to try it. 39:56.624 --> 39:57.465 [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah. 39:57.445 --> 40:19.352 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm on a cocktail, so I'm a huge, I will test anything, um, anything that seemed like that isn't completely out of this world, but I'll test just about anything because, um, I feel like I've done enough damage to my body playing football and sports and all the various things that I did, uh, kind of in very similar, but different story, my way of getting out of my shitty little small town that I couldn't stand. 40:19.332 --> 40:21.936 [SPEAKER_01]: Not that you couldn't see on your town, but I couldn't stay on my town. 40:22.317 --> 40:23.319 [SPEAKER_01]: I need to get out of there as well. 40:23.779 --> 40:25.582 [SPEAKER_01]: Sports was the avenue that I took to get out. 40:25.602 --> 40:28.087 [SPEAKER_01]: So I got a college scholarship, and that's how I got out of there. 40:28.467 --> 40:30.651 [SPEAKER_01]: But I had a guest on the show. 40:31.112 --> 40:32.013 [SPEAKER_01]: It's probably last year. 40:32.073 --> 40:34.337 [SPEAKER_01]: And he was all talking about peptides. 40:34.577 --> 40:36.140 [SPEAKER_01]: And this is before the big peptide. 40:36.160 --> 40:37.222 [SPEAKER_01]: It may have even been two years ago. 40:37.242 --> 40:39.265 [SPEAKER_01]: Now, because this is before the big peptide craze. 40:39.245 --> 40:40.927 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, awesome guy. 40:41.188 --> 40:46.475 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, here we're going to talk about this stuff too, but I, I know we're a little off track, but I love to work out as well. 40:46.495 --> 40:47.276 [SPEAKER_01]: I love to get after it. 40:47.376 --> 40:51.381 [SPEAKER_01]: My goal for this year is I want to pull 500 pounds on the deadlift. 40:51.441 --> 40:53.244 [SPEAKER_01]: My current PR is 463. 40:53.504 --> 40:56.728 [SPEAKER_01]: I did that two years ago or about an 18 months ago. 40:56.749 --> 40:59.532 [SPEAKER_01]: I downcycled because I kind of hit a plateau. 40:59.893 --> 41:03.858 [SPEAKER_01]: And now I'm working my way back with a stronger base. 41:04.098 --> 41:05.320 [SPEAKER_01]: So trying to get back there. 41:05.907 --> 41:13.540 [SPEAKER_01]: And I just is something about being 40 plus and pulling 500 pounds that just makes me want to look at every other guy like they're, you know, less. 41:14.702 --> 41:15.443 [SPEAKER_01]: Can't help myself. 41:15.463 --> 41:25.080 [SPEAKER_01]: There's a part of me that just looks at other people like there's only a few of you, everybody else in my gym is about 22 so I'm pretty pumped that I'm here pulling with these guys, you know. 41:25.229 --> 41:47.288 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, but one of the things that happens as you get older is that you just don't recover the same no matter how you train you just don't recover the same you just don't and what I was finding is that where maybe five to eight years ago, uh, if I did a heavy leg day or whatever, it mostly legs are where I feel the longest, um, 41:47.268 --> 41:47.769 [SPEAKER_00]: me too. 41:47.869 --> 41:48.770 [SPEAKER_00]: That's right. 41:48.790 --> 41:48.890 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 41:48.910 --> 41:50.733 [SPEAKER_00]: This, this or it's not as much of my body. 41:50.753 --> 41:50.933 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 41:51.454 --> 42:02.450 [SPEAKER_01]: So where I could do maybe a squat, a pull, so so deadlift and then do like a more of a beast leg day. 42:02.551 --> 42:04.994 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm all the ancillary stuff is a third leg day every week. 42:05.375 --> 42:06.537 [SPEAKER_01]: Now I can only do two. 42:06.557 --> 42:09.040 [SPEAKER_01]: And if I go really hard, maybe even one dead leg day week. 42:09.060 --> 42:09.301 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 42:09.321 --> 42:13.647 [SPEAKER_01]: So that was starting to bug me because it was impacting my ability to hit my targets. 42:13.627 --> 42:13.968 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 42:13.988 --> 42:19.779 [SPEAKER_01]: So I started digging in these peptides and I found a cocktail of three that has been amazing for me. 42:19.799 --> 42:23.026 [SPEAKER_01]: I encourage everyone who is interested. 42:23.066 --> 42:24.689 [SPEAKER_01]: You have to do your own research. 42:25.030 --> 42:30.942 [SPEAKER_01]: Your primary care physician will not know anything about this stuff and they will push you away from it because they don't know. 42:31.002 --> 42:32.665 [SPEAKER_01]: Trust me, I have tried. 42:32.645 --> 42:36.649 [SPEAKER_01]: you have to go find specialists and unfortunately most of those specialists are going to be online. 42:37.029 --> 42:43.054 [SPEAKER_01]: I would start with with guys or gals of the human class and work your way down from there. 42:43.094 --> 42:52.903 [SPEAKER_01]: There are a lot of charlatans and well who are just looking because that are you repackaged peptides that are of low quality and you can find these things on websites all over the place. 42:52.923 --> 42:54.605 [SPEAKER_01]: If you'd be very careful where you get your stuff from. 42:54.905 --> 42:58.929 [SPEAKER_01]: So find a professional, but it's most likely not going to be your primary. 42:58.989 --> 43:02.652 [SPEAKER_01]: If you go ask your primary, they're going to push you away from it. 43:02.632 --> 43:28.352 [SPEAKER_01]: If you are going to get after it in the way that you've discussed, I take microdose of Trezzepatide, which is a GLP1, not for weight loss, but for inflammation, for gut health, and for it, I have fairly severe ADHD that as I've gotten older has gotten worse, it's a 43:28.332 --> 43:30.734 [SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, it really quiet your brain. 43:30.894 --> 43:32.376 [SPEAKER_01]: It's a big time brain quieter. 43:32.396 --> 43:34.738 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not going to cure the activity, which is not what I want. 43:34.778 --> 43:39.842 [SPEAKER_01]: I want my brain to stay as active, but I want to have more control over what it thinks about. 43:39.882 --> 43:45.447 [SPEAKER_01]: And I found that there's appetite, particularly with food noise and other vice-related noises. 43:45.487 --> 43:58.339 [SPEAKER_01]: So if you chew gum or you chew your net, whatever crazy weird vices you have, everyone has different ones, it really reduces your brain cycles you spend on those types of things. 43:58.319 --> 44:01.303 [SPEAKER_01]: Tessa Moreland is for muscle growth. 44:01.443 --> 44:02.585 [SPEAKER_01]: Again, micro doses. 44:03.346 --> 44:25.457 [SPEAKER_01]: Again, this is why you want to work with some that really knows what they're doing, because if someone's trying to sell you something, they're going to push a full dose on you, which is expensive and more than most people need. 44:25.437 --> 44:35.430 [SPEAKER_01]: Having deadlifted now for almost seven years, I picked it up in 2020 after COVID, like the day the gym opened, I was like, I want to do something new. 44:35.470 --> 44:40.296 [SPEAKER_01]: I've never deadlifted despite all my athletic, because I've always been told it's too dangerous. 44:40.797 --> 44:42.079 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not if you do it right. 44:42.479 --> 44:43.681 [SPEAKER_01]: I want to try this, so I picked it up. 44:43.761 --> 44:43.961 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 44:44.482 --> 44:45.403 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, 44:45.383 --> 44:48.307 [SPEAKER_01]: Once a year inevitably, I don't stretch properly. 44:48.928 --> 44:56.958 [SPEAKER_01]: If my hamstrings are tight and I don't properly warm them up, I'll pull and I'll get really, my back will lock up. 44:56.998 --> 45:01.084 [SPEAKER_01]: It usually takes three to five days before I can get back into leg activities. 45:03.127 --> 45:08.714 [SPEAKER_01]: Since I started taking BPC, BPC 157, this happened about a month ago. 45:08.734 --> 45:11.037 [SPEAKER_01]: I was back in the gym one day later. 45:12.282 --> 45:13.023 [SPEAKER_01]: one day later. 45:13.063 --> 45:15.267 [SPEAKER_01]: Because it just, it, it, what it does. 45:15.347 --> 45:21.698 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm guy, if you, if you guys are experts at this, please go in the comments on YouTube, let me know all the places where I'm off. 45:21.718 --> 45:22.820 [SPEAKER_01]: I am broad stroking this. 45:23.401 --> 45:27.609 [SPEAKER_01]: All the disclaimers that I am not advocating nor am I prescribed any kind of medication here. 45:27.969 --> 45:36.484 [SPEAKER_01]: However, it naturally induces the body to produce whatever the chemicals or blood cells are or whatever, which repair, which do repairative work. 45:36.464 --> 45:47.564 [SPEAKER_01]: So again, on a micro dose level, taken on a daily basis, what it's doing is just increasing the general amount of recovery molecules or chemicals or whatever. 45:47.804 --> 45:49.186 [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's stronger. 45:49.226 --> 45:49.928 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. 45:50.068 --> 45:50.449 [SPEAKER_00]: Look here. 45:50.689 --> 45:51.150 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 45:51.170 --> 45:51.350 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 45:51.711 --> 45:55.878 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I, not that we needed to take that quick die-tripe, but I want to say that. 45:56.078 --> 45:59.805 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it does really look as we're talking about like challenging. 45:59.785 --> 46:04.752 [SPEAKER_00]: our bodies, and we want to recover, challenging our self-psychologically in doing hard things. 46:04.832 --> 46:06.594 [SPEAKER_00]: And there is the recovery side there. 46:06.634 --> 46:10.199 [SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of these same agents like, you know, our brains use so much energy. 46:11.100 --> 46:17.329 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I am supplementing with creatine now, not just for muscle recovery because that has a huge impact on our cognitive function. 46:17.870 --> 46:18.090 [SPEAKER_00]: Right? 46:18.110 --> 46:21.895 [SPEAKER_00]: So I just, now I said, I just sent it to my dad who's 46:21.875 --> 46:26.663 [SPEAKER_00]: 70, six years old, because he's worried about his cognitive function. 46:26.704 --> 46:28.747 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, dose 20 milligrams a day. 46:28.807 --> 46:30.610 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it's just, it's protein, it's good for you. 46:30.650 --> 46:44.575 [SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, so just for you to be like psychologically strong to, you know, to make these decisions to set these self-concordant brave goals, and then be brave enough to take steps toward them each day. 46:44.555 --> 46:51.625 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, um, a couple of things that I that come to mind to is it is really important for us to get really good quality sleep. 46:52.466 --> 47:00.058 [SPEAKER_00]: So that when we wake up, we're not going to, um, take action based on how we're feeling, but we take action based on what we should do. 47:00.118 --> 47:04.544 [SPEAKER_00]: So I always talk about if you really want to do brave things, it doesn't start first thing in the morning. 47:04.584 --> 47:05.686 [SPEAKER_00]: It starts the night before. 47:06.267 --> 47:07.288 [SPEAKER_00]: So really think about. 47:07.268 --> 47:07.629 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 47:07.749 --> 47:08.309 [SPEAKER_00]: Preparation. 47:08.350 --> 47:12.455 [SPEAKER_00]: And I always use analogies from the stage of like, you know, you know, what do we do? 47:12.475 --> 47:13.597 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, as Marines. 47:13.617 --> 47:14.999 [SPEAKER_00]: We know like what we know are mission. 47:15.019 --> 47:16.160 [SPEAKER_00]: We want to accomplish tomorrow. 47:16.200 --> 47:18.083 [SPEAKER_00]: We come up with our battle plans. 47:18.404 --> 47:19.745 [SPEAKER_00]: We know exactly what we're going to do. 47:19.785 --> 47:21.768 [SPEAKER_00]: And then we start preparing the night before. 47:21.828 --> 47:22.950 [SPEAKER_00]: So we need to think about the same way. 47:22.970 --> 47:30.360 [SPEAKER_00]: If you want to be successful in life, you want to feel proud at the end of the day, the last thing you should do before you start relaxing or whatever is planned tomorrow. 47:30.420 --> 47:31.161 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 47:31.342 --> 47:32.143 [SPEAKER_00]: When are you going to get up? 47:32.283 --> 47:33.765 [SPEAKER_00]: What are you going to do? 47:33.745 --> 47:44.333 [SPEAKER_00]: What is the first hardest thing, you know, to attack the day that the thing that you dread most don't have just meetings with people like I like to preserve eight to ten to do your deepest work. 47:44.353 --> 47:49.105 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, so just plant plan your day and then think about like, now what do I need to do tonight? 47:49.203 --> 47:52.507 [SPEAKER_00]: to be able to jump out of bed and have the most successful day. 47:52.567 --> 48:07.825 [SPEAKER_00]: And usually that means that we're going to eat a healthy dinner, not drink too much alcohol, not have our phone or a TV on in front of our face with all that blue light if you do where your orange glasses so that it's more like campfire. 48:07.865 --> 48:11.650 [SPEAKER_00]: And then go to bed, get that deep sleep. 48:11.630 --> 48:24.643 [SPEAKER_00]: And that way you can jump out of bed in the morning, um, the last thing that just relates to this and might make kids are sick of hearing that because you're now like 18 and 20, but I always say like never ever press news. 48:25.366 --> 48:28.008 [SPEAKER_00]: literally or figuratively on life, right? 48:28.068 --> 48:31.471 [SPEAKER_00]: So snooze is like, when you wake up and obviously you're like, oh, gosh, I'm tired. 48:31.512 --> 48:32.733 [SPEAKER_00]: I just don't want to get it. 48:32.753 --> 48:39.158 [SPEAKER_00]: If you press snooze first thing in the morning, you're starting off the day, breaking a promise to yourself. 48:39.539 --> 48:41.240 [SPEAKER_00]: And it is not a good habit to get it. 48:41.260 --> 48:44.463 [SPEAKER_00]: Because isn't there that famous Navy commander that says, make your bed first thing in the morning? 48:44.503 --> 48:46.245 [SPEAKER_00]: I like, sure, I don't even care. 48:46.265 --> 48:49.368 [SPEAKER_00]: If you make your bed, I bet I want you just don't press snooze. 48:49.388 --> 48:55.373 [SPEAKER_00]: Jump out of bed, the second that alarm goes off, 48:55.353 --> 48:58.976 [SPEAKER_00]: isn't sleeping in and taking the morning off. 48:59.197 --> 49:01.379 [SPEAKER_00]: No, self-care is keeping a promise to yourself. 49:01.439 --> 49:07.184 [SPEAKER_00]: So don't press snooze in the morning, get up and then don't press snooze on your dreams and your goals. 49:07.204 --> 49:08.285 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's what that hesitating is. 49:08.305 --> 49:10.547 [SPEAKER_00]: That's someday, that's pressing snooze. 49:11.408 --> 49:23.740 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's just in the reason I care so much about this and is may sound a little woo-woo, but um, so, because I mainly like, you know, gritty Marine Corps Jill, but there's a little woo-woo there and the reason I care about this is, 49:23.720 --> 49:35.631 [SPEAKER_00]: The impact of your relationship with fear and discomfort is so has such a huge impact on not only your success but how happy and fulfilling your life is. 49:36.552 --> 49:46.521 [SPEAKER_00]: If you allow fear to control your behavior where you don't apply for a job, you don't have a difficult conversation, you don't share an idea in a meeting. 49:46.661 --> 49:53.727 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, and it's not just big moments, it's little moments, little moments, 49:53.707 --> 49:58.603 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you have a relationship with fear, where you're like, okay, fear, 49:59.073 --> 50:05.043 [SPEAKER_00]: It, it actually is a little signal that, oh, like, sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes important and it's something that I should do. 50:05.184 --> 50:09.090 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you learn to move toward what you fear and you stop hesitating, you do it. 50:09.992 --> 50:18.326 [SPEAKER_00]: And imagine like over a year, if someone stops hesitating and they move, they do something today because it's that important thing to do to them. 50:18.727 --> 50:23.916 [SPEAKER_00]: And so they do it weekend and week out over a year, imagine where their career in life is at. 50:23.896 --> 50:29.800 [SPEAKER_00]: or imagine five years down the road, Ryan, or 10 years down the road, what would their career be like? 50:30.583 --> 50:34.378 [SPEAKER_00]: And the reason I talk about career and performance is because I get paid by 50:34.814 --> 50:36.216 [SPEAKER_00]: Fortune 500 comes to come speak. 50:36.236 --> 50:40.242 [SPEAKER_00]: So we talk about performance and success at work and that will come. 50:40.262 --> 50:44.327 [SPEAKER_00]: But what I really care about is it's life satisfaction. 50:44.508 --> 50:47.231 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like when you look in the mirror, do you like what you see? 50:47.312 --> 50:55.503 [SPEAKER_00]: We have to change our relationship, like stop allowing fear to control your behaviors because then you're going to look in the mirror and you're going to go like, I suck. 50:56.164 --> 51:04.095 [SPEAKER_00]: Because I can't do it and I keep promising myself and I keep breaking the promise, like we need to change that in its possible. 51:04.075 --> 51:05.357 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm so I'm completely with you. 51:05.377 --> 51:07.980 [SPEAKER_01]: I want to look up to stat real quick. 51:08.060 --> 51:10.303 [SPEAKER_01]: I heard this on Chris Williams and podcast the other day. 51:10.323 --> 51:16.550 [SPEAKER_01]: 45% of men between 18 and 25 have never asked a woman out in person. 51:16.570 --> 51:28.144 [SPEAKER_01]: 45% of men 18 to 25 at that, I'll be honest, at that time, I was probably asking 45 women out a week because you're just like spray and prep right here to say, hey, you know, who knows? 51:28.244 --> 51:29.526 [SPEAKER_00]: Eventually, I'm going to get a yes. 51:29.506 --> 51:38.084 [SPEAKER_01]: That was a way, you know, I mean, back then when there was no internet and no cell phones, I mean, you had to like, you had no idea who anybody was. 51:38.104 --> 51:39.828 [SPEAKER_01]: You were just walking up to, hey, how are you? 51:39.868 --> 51:40.569 [SPEAKER_01]: What's going on? 51:40.630 --> 51:41.812 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, hey, you want to get a drink? 51:41.972 --> 51:45.540 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, that was the only way to meet people in today. 51:45.520 --> 51:52.410 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, think of, I mean, in that took, you want to talk about fear, like, I know, maybe it's the same for women. 51:52.610 --> 51:52.910 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know. 51:52.930 --> 51:54.272 [SPEAKER_01]: I've never been a woman, so I don't know. 51:54.493 --> 52:03.565 [SPEAKER_01]: But I can tell you that there are a few things that are scary as seeing a group of women in a circle at a bar and walking up to them and trying to ask one out. 52:03.886 --> 52:07.731 [SPEAKER_01]: That is one of the most fear-deriving moments of any real-time life. 52:08.232 --> 52:09.053 [SPEAKER_01]: That is a group. 52:09.734 --> 52:10.075 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 52:10.095 --> 52:15.342 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, so you think about that 52:15.473 --> 52:29.652 [SPEAKER_01]: then are they going to be willing, like you said, to ask the boss for a promotion or to reach out to the event, they've always wanted to be a speaker at and give a pitch or whatever that scary thing is, right? 52:29.712 --> 52:32.556 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, we're talking about baser instinct stuff. 52:32.576 --> 52:34.258 [SPEAKER_01]: We can't even get past a fear of that. 52:34.619 --> 52:36.681 [SPEAKER_01]: And we're going to start getting after the second level. 52:38.023 --> 52:39.405 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I, I, 52:39.385 --> 52:42.190 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to, if I can add on that, yeah, I'm going to freeze, please. 52:42.210 --> 52:50.946 [SPEAKER_00]: So bravery isn't like, sometimes the mis-conceptionist people think bravery is just like moments of heroism, like, would I run into a burning building to save a child? 52:51.026 --> 52:55.675 [SPEAKER_00]: Would I, if I was a Marine, would I, would I charge forward in the presence of danger? 52:55.715 --> 52:57.618 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, you know, yes, though, that is bravery. 52:57.658 --> 52:59.101 [SPEAKER_00]: That is absolutely examples of bravery. 52:59.141 --> 53:01.425 [SPEAKER_00]: But bravery is so much bigger than that. 53:01.566 --> 53:02.587 [SPEAKER_00]: It's all the little moments. 53:02.668 --> 53:03.469 [SPEAKER_00]: It's 53:03.449 --> 53:17.072 [SPEAKER_00]: There's this girl at work and I really want to ask her out but I'm scared we'll I do it like you're saying and so you know and just more research because I'm a nerd when you look at all the research in psychology with experiential avoidance. 53:17.373 --> 53:25.727 [SPEAKER_00]: So experiential avoidance basically means running away from what you're scared or running away from what's uncomfortable and there's a study that was published 53:25.707 --> 53:46.618 [SPEAKER_00]: where they followed over 2000, there was 2,400 adults and they followed them over four years and they were like 18 to 65 so we'll all age and they found that experiential avoidance running away from what you're scared of or not doing it ended up leading to the development and persistence of anxiety and depression. 53:46.598 --> 53:51.688 [SPEAKER_00]: So let's let that sink in because I care about this younger generation because I have two kids. 53:51.729 --> 53:52.650 [SPEAKER_00]: They're 18 and 20. 53:52.711 --> 53:54.434 [SPEAKER_00]: Like this month because it's April. 53:54.454 --> 53:55.877 [SPEAKER_00]: They're going to be turning 19 to 21. 53:56.037 --> 53:58.843 [SPEAKER_00]: And I see the world through the younger generation. 53:58.923 --> 54:01.929 [SPEAKER_00]: And they are so chicken shits scared of everything. 54:01.949 --> 54:04.675 [SPEAKER_00]: And they allow. 54:04.655 --> 54:10.205 [SPEAKER_00]: they use this word of mental health, mental health, I don't want to do it for my mental health. 54:10.405 --> 54:20.242 [SPEAKER_00]: It's mental health is now an excuse to not do things or even like, oh, you let a young person say, that causes me anxiety. 54:20.803 --> 54:21.925 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm not going to do it. 54:22.646 --> 54:25.391 [SPEAKER_00]: And so that I think people are confused. 54:25.431 --> 54:29.278 [SPEAKER_00]: They think that for my happiness and well-being, 54:29.258 --> 54:34.804 [SPEAKER_00]: I need to avoid things that make me scared because I want the goal is to be happy and to be comfortable in life. 54:35.544 --> 54:43.352 [SPEAKER_00]: But what they don't understand is that is a fast path to mental distress. 54:43.893 --> 54:45.294 [SPEAKER_00]: Jill, it's also completely false. 54:45.514 --> 54:47.296 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I talked to my kids about this too. 54:47.336 --> 54:49.198 [SPEAKER_01]: So they're 12 and 10, two boys. 54:49.518 --> 54:58.928 [SPEAKER_01]: And we talk about it in the context of sports latches because that's like the most important thing in their world is small because they're younger, right? 54:59.026 --> 55:02.953 [SPEAKER_01]: guys, Michael Jordan had fear. 55:03.655 --> 55:04.436 [SPEAKER_01]: He had fear. 55:05.057 --> 55:09.786 [SPEAKER_01]: We're not talking about like the opportunity he doesn't present itself when the fear goes away. 55:09.826 --> 55:14.335 [SPEAKER_01]: We're talking about these people perform despite fear. 55:14.315 --> 55:16.138 [SPEAKER_01]: So don't even set the expectation. 55:16.178 --> 55:23.549 [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like we've sold an entire generation of children that somehow there are certain individuals who are born with zero fear. 55:23.629 --> 55:25.933 [SPEAKER_01]: And they're the ones who are able to do the exceptional shit. 55:26.334 --> 55:30.159 [SPEAKER_01]: And all of these, all the rest of us who have fear, we can't accomplish anything. 55:30.200 --> 55:38.372 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, no, I'm like, you think I've done 400 and at this point, 425 plus keynotes, paid keynotes in my career. 55:38.392 --> 55:40.255 [SPEAKER_01]: Almost every state, 55:40.235 --> 55:43.702 [SPEAKER_01]: pretty much all of North America, some in South America, haven't been Europe yet. 55:43.902 --> 55:44.603 [SPEAKER_01]: That's coming. 55:44.804 --> 55:45.926 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, maybe I can hear that. 55:45.946 --> 55:47.128 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, but I can hear that. 55:47.268 --> 55:48.571 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's the age quite a bit. 55:48.591 --> 55:52.779 [SPEAKER_01]: And I said to them, I go, I've been doing this for almost two decades. 55:53.320 --> 55:58.430 [SPEAKER_01]: It's the thing I love to do professionally, more than anything else that happens professionally. 55:58.810 --> 55:59.712 [SPEAKER_01]: Yep. 55:59.692 --> 56:04.240 [SPEAKER_01]: in every single time before I go on stage, I feel fear. 56:04.600 --> 56:08.247 [SPEAKER_01]: Every single time, every single time, I go the difference is at this point. 56:08.787 --> 56:11.692 [SPEAKER_01]: I know how to harness that fear into energy and excitement. 56:11.793 --> 56:12.915 [SPEAKER_01]: I've learned how to develop that. 56:13.195 --> 56:17.903 [SPEAKER_01]: But don't think that when you're walking up to bat in baseball, 56:17.883 --> 56:27.159 [SPEAKER_01]: and you feel fear that you're wrong or bad or less then, Aaron Judge feels fear every time he walks up and he's one of the greatest hitters in the history of the game. 56:27.179 --> 56:35.254 [SPEAKER_01]: And he would even tell you that he gets that feeling every at bat, every at bat, 162 games, every at bat, he sees, I've heard him say it in interviews before. 56:35.274 --> 56:39.942 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, so don't try to, we've like miss sold the, I get fired up on this side. 56:39.922 --> 56:43.447 [SPEAKER_00]: No, I'm just, I'm so glad because this is exactly, this is my jam. 56:43.507 --> 56:44.669 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I am free for you. 56:44.689 --> 56:47.132 [SPEAKER_00]: Experts, we need to change our relationship with fear. 56:47.253 --> 56:47.673 [SPEAKER_00]: You're right. 56:47.713 --> 56:48.795 [SPEAKER_00]: And that is the big misnomer. 56:48.835 --> 56:50.678 [SPEAKER_00]: People think that if you're brave, you're fearless. 56:51.379 --> 56:53.942 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, like, there's something wrong with me because I feel scared. 56:54.002 --> 56:55.364 [SPEAKER_00]: So it means that I shouldn't do it. 56:55.465 --> 56:56.366 [SPEAKER_00]: Or there's something wrong with me. 56:56.546 --> 56:56.907 [SPEAKER_00]: No. 56:56.947 --> 56:58.128 [SPEAKER_00]: That is, you're right. 56:58.189 --> 57:00.232 [SPEAKER_00]: It's exactly it's misinformation. 57:00.292 --> 57:02.655 [SPEAKER_00]: So my TEDx that I just did, I, 57:02.635 --> 57:05.280 [SPEAKER_00]: I name it fear more, not less. 57:05.520 --> 57:07.844 [SPEAKER_00]: Like we have to change our relationship with fear. 57:07.964 --> 57:10.208 [SPEAKER_00]: And I love, you talked about the cognitive reframe. 57:10.228 --> 57:17.761 [SPEAKER_00]: So for your audience as well is, first of all, if you're not a little scared, then you're just letting life take you by. 57:17.781 --> 57:21.107 [SPEAKER_00]: You're not, you know, I want you to chart the path of the life that you want. 57:21.287 --> 57:22.689 [SPEAKER_01]: And you're not dictating to you. 57:22.749 --> 57:23.851 [SPEAKER_01]: You're not dictating to life. 57:23.871 --> 57:26.095 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you're just letting, like, letting, 57:26.075 --> 57:32.010 [SPEAKER_00]: the life just carry along the way so that life is just what it is because it comes to you. 57:32.030 --> 57:38.427 [SPEAKER_00]: Like if you want to chart the path of your life, there's going to be discomfort, there's going to be fear and there's nothing wrong with you. 57:38.587 --> 57:38.868 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. 57:39.349 --> 57:41.535 [SPEAKER_00]: And when you feel that fear, 57:41.515 --> 57:47.582 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, we can do that cognitive reframe of really thinking about like, what is happening when I feel the stress or fear in my body? 57:47.622 --> 57:51.326 [SPEAKER_00]: Like my, my heart is beating really fast now. 57:51.926 --> 57:59.214 [SPEAKER_00]: This is actually my body from an evolutionary point of view, preparing me to get blood in every part of my body to be able to perform at my best. 57:59.615 --> 58:02.077 [SPEAKER_00]: This adrenaline, this is energy. 58:02.698 --> 58:10.847 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, it's, it's here to serve me so I can do the best job possible. 58:10.827 --> 58:12.689 [SPEAKER_00]: almost identical, right? 58:12.709 --> 58:15.513 [SPEAKER_01]: So I want to ask you this since they have you here. 58:15.533 --> 58:18.257 [SPEAKER_01]: So I use this all the time and I don't know if it's true. 58:18.817 --> 58:19.478 [SPEAKER_01]: I bet I use them. 58:19.498 --> 58:20.179 [SPEAKER_01]: My kids all the time. 58:20.700 --> 58:28.670 [SPEAKER_01]: I say when when brain scans look at your brain, they can't tell the difference between excitement and fear. 58:28.690 --> 58:32.275 [SPEAKER_01]: Your brain lights up the same way when you're excited versus fear. 58:32.355 --> 58:36.160 [SPEAKER_01]: So what I say to them is what that means is it's a fucking choice. 58:36.140 --> 59:06.045 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, you get to choose whether you're excited for this thing or you're scared of this thing because your brain is operating the same way now that's what I'd say how much it's actually true I don't know it sounds good and I just say like my background is I I have a master's degree in positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania so like I am like I am not a neurologist I'm I'm obsessed with I think my next book might be building a brave brain because I'm I'm really into to researching that I love. 59:06.025 --> 59:07.733 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, but 59:08.320 --> 59:17.588 [SPEAKER_00]: I'd say overall based on what I know, that is a true statement, you know, the feeling of fear and excitement are almost identical, and we have the power to reframe it. 59:17.608 --> 59:21.952 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I got to share one of the things that's related, but I just love how we're just going back and forth. 59:21.972 --> 59:22.653 [SPEAKER_00]: This is awesome. 59:23.273 --> 59:30.020 [SPEAKER_00]: So some of the most exciting research that I love talking about is research by Dr. Alia Crum at a Stanford. 59:30.660 --> 59:38.327 [SPEAKER_00]: She is amazing. 59:38.307 --> 59:42.231 [SPEAKER_00]: instead of a stress is debilitating or harmful mindset. 59:42.952 --> 59:49.458 [SPEAKER_00]: So like this is another lie that we have been sold where people think like stress is bad. 59:50.059 --> 59:53.362 [SPEAKER_00]: Stress will kill you, stress is horrible, you'll have a heart attack. 59:53.382 --> 59:55.945 [SPEAKER_00]: Like if there is stress, you need to eliminate it. 59:56.566 --> 59:59.789 [SPEAKER_00]: So she did this research on mindset on stress. 01:00:00.229 --> 01:00:05.715 [SPEAKER_00]: So what she found in a research is that if you believe that stress is bad for you, it will be bad for you. 01:00:06.809 --> 01:00:10.915 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, what happens if you feel like stress is bad for you, you'll have a bad psychological response. 01:00:10.935 --> 01:00:12.197 [SPEAKER_00]: So you'd be like, oh my god, this is horrible. 01:00:12.257 --> 01:00:12.858 [SPEAKER_00]: It's horrible. 01:00:12.878 --> 01:00:17.365 [SPEAKER_00]: And then you'll, it'll just, you know, your, your response to the stress will make the stress even worse. 01:00:18.187 --> 01:00:18.367 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 01:00:18.407 --> 01:00:21.392 [SPEAKER_00]: And then you'll have a bad physiological reaction. 01:00:21.432 --> 01:00:31.888 [SPEAKER_00]: If you think that stress is bad and you experience a stressful event, what happens is inside of your vasculature inside your lumen, which is the inside of your veins and arteries, it will constrict. 01:00:31.868 --> 01:00:34.191 [SPEAKER_00]: And then when it constricts, it will increase your blood pressure. 01:00:34.251 --> 01:00:39.158 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you for a lifetime, things stress is bad and guess what, in life, there's always going to be stress. 01:00:39.999 --> 01:00:47.931 [SPEAKER_00]: You will have a negative stress response, psychologically, the way you feel and physiologically what happens to your body. 01:00:49.232 --> 01:01:01.690 [SPEAKER_00]: But if you believe that stress is enhancing, like, hey, being challenged, like, you know, this, the setback, this is going to make me stronger, right? 01:01:01.670 --> 01:01:05.355 [SPEAKER_00]: then your body and your brain will believe you. 01:01:05.696 --> 01:01:12.365 [SPEAKER_00]: So from a psychological point of view, if you believe that stress or setbacks and challenges are good, like we're going to learn from this. 01:01:12.385 --> 01:01:16.971 [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to get through this and all the other people, they're probably going to just tap out and we're going to get forward. 01:01:16.991 --> 01:01:18.674 [SPEAKER_00]: So this is good, right? 01:01:18.694 --> 01:01:23.340 [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to look at as a positive thing. 01:01:23.320 --> 01:01:26.004 [SPEAKER_00]: to be able to overcome the challenges and adversity. 01:01:26.084 --> 01:01:32.232 [SPEAKER_00]: If we think stress is enhancing, and also, she really looks at the physiological part of stress. 01:01:32.312 --> 01:01:36.618 [SPEAKER_00]: If you believe that stress is enhancing, your body believes you. 01:01:37.119 --> 01:01:46.712 [SPEAKER_00]: So when the stress will event happens, you feel like your heartbeat will go up, and you'll feel the endorphins in your body. 01:01:46.692 --> 01:01:50.898 [SPEAKER_00]: But your lumens stays relaxed, so your blood pressure doesn't go up. 01:01:51.519 --> 01:01:59.371 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, and if you look at a lifetime of that difference, that can be the difference between a premature heart attack at 55 versus someone living into their 90s. 01:01:59.952 --> 01:02:05.320 [SPEAKER_00]: And so they have this really amazing study, and I want to just talk about this study, because this is the one that blew my mind. 01:02:05.340 --> 01:02:15.315 [SPEAKER_00]: I do work mainly in organizations in the workplace, so they took this research on, can we change someone's mind on stress? 01:02:15.852 --> 01:02:18.876 [SPEAKER_00]: Can we educate them that stress is enhancing and does it make an impact? 01:02:19.036 --> 01:02:21.259 [SPEAKER_00]: So they went into a stressful workplace. 01:02:21.980 --> 01:02:24.123 [SPEAKER_00]: This was in finance, like really high stress. 01:02:25.025 --> 01:02:37.081 [SPEAKER_00]: And they went in, and the intervention, so when you do an empirical study, there's got to be the placebo where they get something, but it's not the actual treatment, and then you've got the people who actually get the treatment. 01:02:37.141 --> 01:02:39.244 [SPEAKER_00]: So the treatment arm, 01:02:39.224 --> 01:02:43.730 [SPEAKER_00]: was watching a three-minute video telling people that stress is enhancing. 01:02:44.331 --> 01:02:45.813 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, we're built to strive. 01:02:45.973 --> 01:02:47.275 [SPEAKER_00]: Stress makes a stronger. 01:02:47.315 --> 01:02:48.296 [SPEAKER_00]: It makes a smarter. 01:02:48.356 --> 01:02:49.258 [SPEAKER_00]: It helps us grow. 01:02:49.278 --> 01:02:51.020 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's all scientifically valid. 01:02:52.021 --> 01:02:54.545 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, evidence of three-minute videos saying stress is enhancing. 01:02:54.845 --> 01:02:58.330 [SPEAKER_00]: The placebo group, they had to also watch a video. 01:02:58.310 --> 01:03:07.951 [SPEAKER_00]: But what they did on the placebo video is they they filled it with all the headlines that you and I are used to seeing stresses horrible stresses going to kill you so avoid stress at all costs. 01:03:07.972 --> 01:03:15.829 [SPEAKER_00]: So everyone got a three minute video and then they followed these people over time they looked at the impact on their performance. 01:03:15.809 --> 01:03:17.451 [SPEAKER_00]: and their jobs, that is fact all these different things. 01:03:17.491 --> 01:03:31.471 [SPEAKER_00]: So, um, they found the difference in performance, all these people are the same job, same stressful job, the people that just were told that stress is enhancing and that performing outperforming, the other people that were told stress is horrible for you, and it was statistically significant. 01:03:32.132 --> 01:03:36.979 [SPEAKER_00]: They looked at jobs at his faction, again, statistically significant, but here's where it gets really interesting. 01:03:38.001 --> 01:03:40.905 [SPEAKER_00]: They also looked at the physiological response. 01:03:41.341 --> 01:03:44.426 [SPEAKER_00]: There was also a huge difference between the two. 01:03:44.466 --> 01:03:46.450 [SPEAKER_00]: Actually, it was, I shouldn't say huge difference. 01:03:46.470 --> 01:03:50.256 [SPEAKER_00]: It was a statistical significant difference in these two arms. 01:03:50.777 --> 01:03:54.062 [SPEAKER_00]: And they looked at blood pressure, like we talked about just right there. 01:03:54.102 --> 01:04:01.936 [SPEAKER_00]: They also looked at DHA, a hormone linked to resilience was higher in the group that believed that stress is enhancing. 01:04:02.537 --> 01:04:07.585 [SPEAKER_00]: By just watching a three minute video, they watched the three minute video, I think a couple times a week. 01:04:07.565 --> 01:04:12.680 [SPEAKER_00]: But this is why I'm so passionate about this work is I feel like people are sold lies. 01:04:12.900 --> 01:04:14.926 [SPEAKER_00]: Stress is horrible, right? 01:04:14.966 --> 01:04:15.909 [SPEAKER_00]: So avoid it. 01:04:16.009 --> 01:04:16.350 [SPEAKER_00]: No. 01:04:16.370 --> 01:04:16.431 [SPEAKER_00]: No. 01:04:17.333 --> 01:04:22.789 [SPEAKER_00]: Like life will be filled with challenges and setbacks in adversity and stress. 01:04:22.769 --> 01:04:28.696 [SPEAKER_00]: and you're belief about stress, that's the thing that will kill you or make your life miserable. 01:04:29.477 --> 01:04:31.340 [SPEAKER_00]: So the stress is enhancing mindset. 01:04:31.380 --> 01:04:49.722 [SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, in my book, the bravery effect, like we talk about the cognitive side first, and we talk about the growth mindset, which you probably know, Carol Dewex work, from Stanford, like believing you have an ability to do hard things and it'll take work and effort, but you can have a growth mindset, but I also teach the stresses enhancing mindset. 01:04:49.702 --> 01:04:58.902 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, let's make sure we, I want to give everyone the benefit that Alia Krum and Shaniq or others did in that study and I want people to know that this is the truth, right? 01:04:59.423 --> 01:05:01.307 [SPEAKER_00]: Stress is like a workout for your brain. 01:05:02.069 --> 01:05:04.674 [SPEAKER_00]: Just like it's, you know, weights are workout for your body. 01:05:05.296 --> 01:05:06.478 [SPEAKER_00]: And when you, 01:05:06.458 --> 01:05:11.913 [SPEAKER_00]: when you, when you stress your mind and you challenge your mind, you improve your cognitive function, you grow and you're developed. 01:05:11.973 --> 01:05:19.234 [SPEAKER_00]: So, um, it's just really exciting research and the fact that they didn't organizations in that simple intervention made us to to so significant difference. 01:05:19.254 --> 01:05:21.480 [SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm on a mission, 01:05:21.460 --> 01:05:24.644 [SPEAKER_00]: to tell the truth, stress is not bad. 01:05:25.165 --> 01:05:26.627 [SPEAKER_00]: It's our beliefs about stress. 01:05:26.887 --> 01:05:33.335 [SPEAKER_00]: And fear is not something bad, fear is something we should, if you're not feeling fear, you're doing life wrong. 01:05:33.395 --> 01:05:35.077 [SPEAKER_00]: I want people to seek out fear. 01:05:35.658 --> 01:05:38.782 [SPEAKER_00]: And there's a difference between what I speak about and resilience speakers, right? 01:05:38.802 --> 01:05:47.974 [SPEAKER_00]: Cause sometimes I get a call to speak on big stages cause I'm like, oh, we wanna resilience speaker and I'm like, let me tell you, resilience is really about 01:05:47.954 --> 01:05:52.958 [SPEAKER_00]: making sure that people can bounce back when something bad usually happens to them. 01:05:53.359 --> 01:05:56.842 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I and the speaker that will tell people, I want people to seek out. 01:05:57.442 --> 01:06:06.230 [SPEAKER_00]: I want you to proactively find things that will create challenges in adversity because you're trying to climb that mountain toward whatever you want in life. 01:06:06.511 --> 01:06:10.734 [SPEAKER_00]: So instead of just passively like, okay, if you get knocked down, I'm going to keep you trying to get back up. 01:06:10.754 --> 01:06:11.996 [SPEAKER_00]: That's not what Jill's message is about. 01:06:12.636 --> 01:06:15.158 [SPEAKER_00]: I want you to be on the offensive. 01:06:15.198 --> 01:06:15.919 [SPEAKER_00]: I want you to be. 01:06:15.899 --> 01:06:19.925 [SPEAKER_00]: Seeking things where you're gonna encounter adversity and challenges. 01:06:20.225 --> 01:06:45.180 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to just wait until they happen to you Thank you for I feel like I was up on my I might pop it for a while No, you're this is no this has been absolutely fantastic I think this is a wonderful place to wrap I could talk you for another couple hours about this stuff I want everyone to buy the book the bravery effect We're gonna have that link-dub so whether you're watching on YouTube listen wherever you do just scroll down and find links to that where else can they get deeper into your world? 01:06:45.160 --> 01:06:50.468 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I didn't in the book, just, people can find me on JillSchillman.com. 01:06:50.528 --> 01:06:55.955 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's my website, you know, and it'll be in the show notes, but Jill last name is S.C. H.U.L. 01:06:56.136 --> 01:06:56.416 [SPEAKER_00]: M.A.N. 01:06:56.456 --> 01:06:57.958 [SPEAKER_00]: I've got a free bravery assessment. 01:06:58.499 --> 01:06:59.761 [SPEAKER_00]: I have a free bravery blueprint. 01:06:59.781 --> 01:07:07.812 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you go in and take this aspect, it takes three minutes, and then they get a free bravery blueprint that really teaches them how you can build this bravery muscle, right? 01:07:07.852 --> 01:07:14.762 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's got cognitive workouts, like it's the reframing, it's got the behavioral psychology 01:07:14.742 --> 01:07:19.291 [SPEAKER_00]: And then if you choose to buy the book, I love the audiobook because it's a parable. 01:07:19.371 --> 01:07:23.279 [SPEAKER_00]: I wrote the book as a parable because I want people to actually read the whole thing. 01:07:23.339 --> 01:07:25.463 [SPEAKER_00]: And I want the younger generation to read it. 01:07:25.543 --> 01:07:32.076 [SPEAKER_00]: So if anyone has any kids that are confused and they think that comfort, I mean, I really dedicated the book to my daughters. 01:07:32.056 --> 01:07:34.699 [SPEAKER_00]: and I'm just, I'm hoping they actually read it someday. 01:07:34.860 --> 01:07:38.464 [SPEAKER_00]: So we'll see, but on the market for six months, I'm still holding my breath. 01:07:39.406 --> 01:07:43.892 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to task them to read it, but, um, so you can find me just online, Jill Schulman.com. 01:07:44.212 --> 01:07:48.137 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, my books all anywhere books are sold, and then I'm, I'm getting out of my comfort zone. 01:07:48.177 --> 01:07:51.161 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm on Instagram, you know, I'm on Facebook. 01:07:51.542 --> 01:07:56.308 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm on LinkedIn, mainly, but I make a commitment because one of the parts of helping us 01:07:56.288 --> 01:08:06.484 [SPEAKER_00]: stay brave is to make sure that we fill our feed with the correct science and information that will help you do the brave thing each day. 01:08:06.524 --> 01:08:08.868 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's my commitment at least three times a week. 01:08:08.888 --> 01:08:09.829 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like three to five. 01:08:09.889 --> 01:08:10.871 [SPEAKER_00]: I commit at least three times. 01:08:11.151 --> 01:08:17.742 [SPEAKER_00]: I have a post that will be something that will motivate you to keep the promise yourself and deep brave every day. 01:08:17.902 --> 01:08:20.406 [SPEAKER_00]: It's that every day moments of bravery. 01:08:20.386 --> 01:08:23.583 [SPEAKER_00]: That has the profound compound effect of your life. 01:08:23.865 --> 01:08:27.202 [SPEAKER_00]: So not just the brave moments, but be brave for yourself each day. 01:08:28.208 --> 01:08:29.193 [SPEAKER_01]: I absolutely love it. 01:08:29.273 --> 01:08:30.560 [SPEAKER_01]: It's been my pleasure. 01:08:30.942 --> 01:08:31.686 [SPEAKER_01]: We're out of here, guys. 01:08:32.068 --> 01:08:32.792 [SPEAKER_01]: Boosh!