WEBVTT 00:02.393 --> 00:03.697 [SPEAKER_01]: Christian parenting. 00:14.932 --> 00:15.813 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, everybody. 00:15.853 --> 00:17.135 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back to part of the mess. 00:17.155 --> 00:19.479 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm your host Courtney Defeo and we are on week 34. 00:20.180 --> 00:21.802 [SPEAKER_00]: We're getting so close to the end. 00:21.822 --> 00:28.372 [SPEAKER_00]: And we're praying about contentment for our families for us for our kids and we're learning about the story of Paul. 00:28.392 --> 00:32.959 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to read Philippians for 11 through 13 and then introduce you to our guests today. 00:33.640 --> 00:39.268 [SPEAKER_00]: It says, I am not saying this because I'm in need for I have learned to be content with ever the circumstances. 00:39.248 --> 00:43.214 [SPEAKER_00]: I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. 00:43.394 --> 00:53.368 [SPEAKER_00]: I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want, I can do all through him who gives me strength. 00:54.049 --> 00:56.472 [SPEAKER_00]: We have my friend, Bridget. 00:56.712 --> 00:57.714 [SPEAKER_00]: How are you today? 00:57.774 --> 00:58.695 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm good. 00:58.775 --> 00:59.777 [SPEAKER_00]: How are you today, Courtney? 00:59.837 --> 01:00.237 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm good. 01:00.277 --> 01:06.606 [SPEAKER_00]: You've actually been on before, but she's back, and I wanted you last week you learned about Kara. 01:06.873 --> 01:10.758 [SPEAKER_00]: who has been praying all year long, and no, actually for three years for this podcast. 01:10.798 --> 01:20.952 [SPEAKER_00]: And I wanted you to know that there was another woman, a dear friend of mine that I met in Orlando when we lived there, Bridget Brelin, who has been praying alongside Cara for three years. 01:21.012 --> 01:21.733 [SPEAKER_00]: Did you all know that? 01:21.813 --> 01:22.794 [SPEAKER_00]: I just think it's so cool. 01:22.835 --> 01:31.967 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just want to say thank you because that is a long time to be committed to something and you've showed up every week, listen to every podcast and prayed for these people. 01:32.047 --> 01:35.091 [SPEAKER_00]: So thank you, thank you so much for doing that. 01:35.527 --> 01:36.931 [SPEAKER_01]: You are definitely welcome. 01:37.813 --> 01:38.174 [SPEAKER_00]: Love it. 01:38.275 --> 01:38.656 [SPEAKER_00]: I love it. 01:38.736 --> 01:46.718 [SPEAKER_00]: So Bridget, before you tell us what got you're one of my more intellectual friends as I told Cara, but I love to hear the way you process scripture. 01:47.086 --> 01:48.047 [SPEAKER_00]: and think about things. 01:48.107 --> 01:53.033 [SPEAKER_00]: So not just on here, but because you're my friend, but because I really think you can bring a lot of value to us as we think about this. 01:53.473 --> 02:04.847 [SPEAKER_00]: And also, I just want to note to a folks that she talked about this a little bit last time, but Bridget Loster has been 13 years ago and has been raising three kids on her own for all of these years. 02:05.027 --> 02:14.798 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I think it's important for people to have that context as you share that this is coming from a place where you've had to live this out and really ask God like what that looks like for your own family. 02:14.778 --> 02:19.183 [SPEAKER_00]: Give us what he put on your heart as it relates to Paul in contentment. 02:19.924 --> 02:20.204 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 02:21.125 --> 02:23.828 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, one, there's a few things that stuck out to me. 02:23.868 --> 02:31.256 [SPEAKER_01]: One, in the scripture, it talks about, it's a learned thing, so we learn through our circumstances. 02:31.616 --> 02:37.883 [SPEAKER_01]: The other thing in the actual prayer journal, the last paragraph mentioned something about our relationship with God. 02:37.863 --> 02:45.110 [SPEAKER_01]: So, I think if we take that in the whole context, we learn through our circumstances to be contented life. 02:45.931 --> 02:48.794 [SPEAKER_01]: It's an learned experience to trust God. 02:48.834 --> 02:56.783 [SPEAKER_01]: And so, that's not something that we're naturally born with, contentment isn't like you're just given to it. 02:56.943 --> 03:02.048 [SPEAKER_01]: And I was thinking about how I was thinking, I used to teach art to these little kids at weekday school. 03:02.028 --> 03:10.498 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and you'd set them down with the same components, and then they'd be looking around like, Ooh, you've got something better than me, or I have that, you know? 03:10.879 --> 03:20.110 [SPEAKER_01]: And then I was thinking about my daughter, Zoe, Gabblerser, she's a teenager, and, you know, girls just, you know, hey, wait, you've got that, and I don't have that. 03:20.631 --> 03:20.851 [SPEAKER_01]: Right? 03:21.132 --> 03:27.900 [SPEAKER_01]: So, I was thinking all stages of life are kids, they're always looking at things that they may or may not have, but 03:27.880 --> 03:34.092 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, we've all been given the components we need for the purposes that God has called us to. 03:34.132 --> 03:34.352 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 03:34.953 --> 03:44.050 [SPEAKER_01]: So I think for me, I did have to face learning being content when when Brad died. 03:44.030 --> 03:50.987 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, it is really having to, um, train your mind to recognize things. 03:51.027 --> 03:59.828 [SPEAKER_01]: So earlier in that scripture, what I want to refer to is that it, it tells us to focus on, um, fix. 03:59.808 --> 04:00.809 [SPEAKER_01]: to fix your mind. 04:01.110 --> 04:03.774 [SPEAKER_01]: And when you fix your mind, shapes your inner piece. 04:03.874 --> 04:11.145 [SPEAKER_01]: So it tells us to think about what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable. 04:11.205 --> 04:14.370 [SPEAKER_01]: And I kind of sum that up to what is true, good and beautiful. 04:14.410 --> 04:22.542 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I've literally had to discipline myself sometimes daily multiple times the day, maybe two times in a second. 04:22.522 --> 04:41.526 [SPEAKER_01]: Two really think about and what is true good and beautiful so you just have to train your mind to recognize those things and I think that's what Paul's talking about so I don't think you can take that scripture without looking at what's right before it because it's a roadmap for us, right? 04:41.546 --> 04:45.711 [SPEAKER_01]: It helps us reshape our perspective because 04:45.691 --> 04:51.036 [SPEAKER_01]: When I read just that one scripture, I think, oh my gosh, how am I going to just be content? 04:51.096 --> 04:52.157 [SPEAKER_01]: Like Paul was content. 04:52.317 --> 04:57.923 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm hearing what, what isn't contentment, but how on the world am I going to get to contentment? 04:57.963 --> 05:03.127 [SPEAKER_01]: And I remember my husband died in a group and an awful situation and I'm thinking, there's just no way. 05:03.147 --> 05:05.510 [SPEAKER_01]: I want what other people at the table have. 05:06.831 --> 05:06.931 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 05:06.951 --> 05:10.454 [SPEAKER_01]: Like this is I, my green beans, I should be able to have my ice cream. 05:10.895 --> 05:11.355 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 05:12.476 --> 05:14.398 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's the way it works. 05:14.378 --> 05:16.960 [SPEAKER_01]: But, um, but you know, sir prayer. 05:17.160 --> 05:24.107 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's where the relationship part of it comes in is because it's the prayer that you learn that you have enough. 05:24.147 --> 05:25.648 [SPEAKER_01]: It's through that conversation. 05:25.668 --> 05:33.055 [SPEAKER_01]: It's you realize your circumstance might not improve, but your mind isn't struggling with it anymore. 05:33.075 --> 05:36.117 [SPEAKER_01]: Because you're constantly in that relationship with God. 05:36.137 --> 05:38.219 [SPEAKER_01]: You realize you do have a purpose for me. 05:38.599 --> 05:40.942 [SPEAKER_01]: God, you do work things all to your good. 05:41.062 --> 05:43.744 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's the learning process of it. 05:43.724 --> 05:49.296 [SPEAKER_01]: And so then the things that we take to do that is focusing on what's true good and beautiful. 05:49.337 --> 05:54.949 [SPEAKER_01]: So circumstance, to me, to be content is, um, 05:55.672 --> 06:05.360 [SPEAKER_01]: is when you are in a place of being and you're not trying to justify your circumstances or justify your bad attitude about something. 06:05.380 --> 06:05.481 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 06:05.881 --> 06:16.050 [SPEAKER_01]: Just if I, well, I have fear because I don't have my husband or I have fear because I don't have enough money or I can't control this. 06:16.610 --> 06:21.334 [SPEAKER_01]: So then I, so your actions can't be like in that direction. 06:21.394 --> 06:25.678 [SPEAKER_01]: My actions, I had to learn to take my actions 06:25.658 --> 06:27.560 [SPEAKER_01]: act towards what is true. 06:27.921 --> 06:30.363 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna act towards what is beautiful. 06:30.644 --> 06:34.728 [SPEAKER_01]: And when I do that and I focus more on that, that is who God is. 06:34.868 --> 06:36.030 [SPEAKER_01]: That's the relationships. 06:36.190 --> 06:42.497 [SPEAKER_01]: And then understand rightly my purpose with God in Christ is all of those things. 06:42.837 --> 06:44.759 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's where contentment comes from. 06:44.799 --> 06:51.767 [SPEAKER_01]: It's just not sitting down going, okay, I'm gonna be okay with, you know, the four little strawberries I got today. 06:51.747 --> 06:56.252 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm thinking, you know, because kids aren't naturally content. 06:56.272 --> 06:58.775 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, we are not naturally content at all. 06:58.795 --> 07:03.100 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I love that you're reminding us of that, because it is madening. 07:03.201 --> 07:14.213 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, when your kids complain about something that's so superficial and you just want to like scream and you're like, do you even know, you're like, what I need to take you to, you know, a poverty-stricken place and show you all the things that you have. 07:15.135 --> 07:18.058 [SPEAKER_00]: So I like that you remind us that like, 07:18.038 --> 07:34.005 [SPEAKER_00]: We're not born that way and it is a learn behavior and so maybe that gives us a little grace for our kids to go like if they're six and they're complaining about the girls paintbrush beside them It's like we can we can help them but they will grow in that and so can you give me like 07:33.985 --> 07:42.054 [SPEAKER_00]: If you've dealt with that with your kids, which I'm sure you have, because we all have, like, what are some practical things we can do to help them kind of reframe and redirect? 07:42.114 --> 08:01.174 [SPEAKER_00]: And, because it can be really frustrating, especially, I remember kids in my car would be like, my house never has this fun or whatever they would ever, and I'm like, when I kill them, because I'm like, your mom is awesome, but they're just looking at like what other people have and immediately seeing that gap in their life and I was like, no, but your mom is, 08:01.154 --> 08:09.305 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think it's so interesting because like what I bring to the table, I'm like, yes, I am fun and I will get you guys to check for like, but I don't know how to cook at all. 08:09.366 --> 08:14.413 [SPEAKER_00]: And I bet your mom provides a nice meal for you every day or, you know, that kind of thing. 08:14.513 --> 08:18.338 [SPEAKER_00]: But so practically how would you encourage the parent to like help their kids? 08:18.839 --> 08:19.960 [SPEAKER_00]: Do we just pray for them? 08:19.980 --> 08:21.322 [SPEAKER_00]: Do we give grace? 08:21.362 --> 08:22.504 [SPEAKER_00]: Like what are some thoughts there? 08:23.159 --> 08:25.703 [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's both of what you just said, too. 08:25.723 --> 08:35.840 [SPEAKER_01]: I can tell you what I do and maybe this will be helpful, but I have a framework in my mind that always work with when I go on with my kids and they're that way. 08:35.860 --> 08:48.981 [SPEAKER_01]: I always ask them to look at what's right in front of them and then I have them just to focus on that because I'm like, what's in front of you is what your purpose to do, like God has given you this. 08:48.961 --> 08:50.223 [SPEAKER_01]: to work with. 08:50.283 --> 08:53.688 [SPEAKER_01]: So what is it that you can make out of this that's good? 08:54.129 --> 08:57.214 [SPEAKER_01]: So like I haven't always had money, you know, being a widow. 08:57.254 --> 08:59.657 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I've had to get creative. 08:59.738 --> 09:06.448 [SPEAKER_01]: So I don't have this, but what do I have in front of me that I can make into what I want that I can be happy with? 09:07.009 --> 09:07.149 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 09:07.489 --> 09:10.354 [SPEAKER_01]: So this being content doesn't mean it's a stagnant place. 09:10.434 --> 09:16.403 [SPEAKER_01]: I always teach my kids, okay, 09:16.383 --> 09:20.287 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, you don't have to just be okay with like a stick. 09:20.628 --> 09:24.892 [SPEAKER_01]: You can go, okay, I can break the stick into four pieces and make a little T.P. 09:25.893 --> 09:32.080 [SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, I don't know, so, so that's kind of the frame like I work with, which I think could be helpful to all of this. 09:32.240 --> 09:32.801 [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely. 09:33.121 --> 09:39.288 [SPEAKER_01]: That we go, okay, what have you been given and how can we be content with what you have in given? 09:39.308 --> 09:42.812 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because I mean, I sure get that. 09:42.832 --> 09:45.495 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, and I get under the pressure like, 09:45.475 --> 09:48.983 [SPEAKER_01]: my friends over the friend of the house looks like we're homeless. 09:50.547 --> 09:55.979 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I'm like, okay but come into my house and look what we've done. 09:56.019 --> 09:57.863 [SPEAKER_01]: We have, right? 09:58.365 --> 10:00.750 [SPEAKER_00]: That's so true. 10:00.730 --> 10:04.073 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, and then it's hard as a parent not to get caught in that. 10:04.094 --> 10:21.071 [SPEAKER_01]: But so then me, I have to tell myself, not just my kids, I have to go, what do you, I have, what have I think given what gifts do I have in front of me, that I can work towards truth, that I can work towards goodness, that I can work towards compassionate kindness, because we've all been given something, right? 10:21.111 --> 10:27.598 [SPEAKER_01]: And so it's for us to work out with God, that's the part of the relationship I don't want us to forget in contentment. 10:27.578 --> 10:34.249 [SPEAKER_01]: that contentment is about the relationship with God because he's purposeed us to work with him. 10:34.269 --> 10:44.106 [SPEAKER_01]: And so he's given us all something very unique and you've always been good at pointing and encouraging people out with what they have that is unique. 10:44.327 --> 10:46.771 [SPEAKER_01]: And so we just have to do that with our kids. 10:46.871 --> 10:49.095 [SPEAKER_01]: Like look at our kids what is in front of you? 10:49.155 --> 10:50.317 [SPEAKER_01]: What are you called to? 10:50.357 --> 10:51.038 [SPEAKER_01]: You know? 10:51.018 --> 11:00.650 [SPEAKER_01]: Like if my middle child who isn't called to her my oldest child is like my oldest child missed two on his two questions I possess AT and my middle child. 11:00.730 --> 11:16.350 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean Let's hope the best You know And I'm like and so I'm teaching him how to be content and that son you have a different calling in purpose You're gonna have the score you need for what you need to do 11:16.330 --> 11:20.676 [SPEAKER_01]: And my other child has the score he needs for what he needs to do. 11:20.696 --> 11:25.623 [SPEAKER_01]: So let's look at what's in front of you that, you know, what we can do with what you have. 11:26.144 --> 11:27.145 [SPEAKER_00]: So I love it. 11:27.606 --> 11:32.693 [SPEAKER_00]: As I was reading the prayer journal, it said that Paul endured trials that would break most people. 11:32.994 --> 11:34.035 [SPEAKER_00]: And 11:34.015 --> 11:52.534 [SPEAKER_00]: It makes me teary because I'm like, Bridget, even dirt stuff that would break most people and you're one of the strongest moms I've ever met and your kids are soaring and they're beautiful and they're kind and you've raised them so well and you haven't let go of your faith which I think in a lot of worlds people would just be really resentful. 11:52.554 --> 12:03.685 [SPEAKER_00]: I got for the circumstances you've walked with and you're not only like still holding onto him, you're sharing him with other people and showing with your life that he is real and good and beautiful so 12:03.665 --> 12:04.446 [SPEAKER_00]: I love you. 12:04.466 --> 12:07.008 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for being in part in the mess with me. 12:07.128 --> 12:09.671 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know that I would have made it for years without you. 12:09.711 --> 12:11.813 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just been so there. 12:11.833 --> 12:13.114 [SPEAKER_00]: So thank you. 12:13.194 --> 12:14.815 [SPEAKER_00]: When you close us in prayer today. 12:14.855 --> 12:15.816 [SPEAKER_00]: Sure. 12:17.298 --> 12:20.280 [SPEAKER_01]: God, I thank you so much for everything that you've given us. 12:20.781 --> 12:30.550 [SPEAKER_01]: Just relationship with you is so important and I want to focus on that and thank you that your heart is towards us as believers and Christ. 12:30.530 --> 12:38.845 [SPEAKER_01]: that you have not let go of us, that you have a purpose in calling for us, and that you have given us and equipped us with all we need. 12:39.005 --> 12:47.080 [SPEAKER_01]: If we have a lot, or we have a little, God I thank you that we get this opportunity to work with you and all things to your good. 12:47.100 --> 12:52.470 [SPEAKER_01]: And I ask for every parent today that you would help them see what's in front of them. 12:52.450 --> 13:16.158 [SPEAKER_01]: to help equip and be content to parent and what's in front of them and that they would also see what their kids have, what they've been given and purpose to do to be content, to help them teach them contentment and the relationship with you, that they may walk and work out all the purposes they have with you in Jesus name. 13:16.178 --> 13:16.819 [SPEAKER_01]: Amen. 13:17.280 --> 13:17.980 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you, Fred. 13:18.221 --> 13:19.302 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you, 13:32.275 --> 13:34.017 [UNKNOWN]: You