WEBVTT 00:00.031 --> 00:13.055 [SPEAKER_03]: There was a time years ago, there was a guy I was standing and so like took forever for us to hang out, went over, watched TV, all this stuff, like passed out on the couch because it was like so late, we were watching TV, like the move like I fell asleep during the movie we were watching. 00:13.416 --> 00:18.445 [SPEAKER_03]: I woke up, you know, like, like, movie ends and, like, Canada just mean, I was like, oh shit, I'm so sorry, I fell asleep. 00:18.425 --> 00:21.111 [SPEAKER_03]: And I went to get in bed, fully dressed, and he's like, what are you doing? 00:21.251 --> 00:26.122 [SPEAKER_03]: And I was like, being bed, and he's like, with jeans on, and I was like, I'm not getting naked in your bed. 00:26.403 --> 00:28.247 [SPEAKER_03]: And he's like, I'm not sleeping next to somebody. 00:28.267 --> 00:30.051 [SPEAKER_03]: And she gave me like a t-shirt. 00:30.191 --> 00:31.514 [SPEAKER_03]: So fine, I slept in his t-shirt. 00:31.754 --> 00:32.556 [SPEAKER_03]: And nothing happened. 00:32.676 --> 00:33.919 [SPEAKER_03]: We did just cut off. 00:34.388 --> 00:40.903 [SPEAKER_03]: I just, it's a funny story because I remember going to the gym the next day and telling my girlfriend and her boyfriend who both worked at the gym too. 00:40.963 --> 00:42.407 [SPEAKER_03]: Not like, okay, yeah, nice. 00:42.447 --> 00:44.291 [SPEAKER_03]: But the night and they're like, oh, no, nothing happened. 00:44.612 --> 00:47.378 [SPEAKER_03]: And I was like, but at one point, like, rolled over and we were spooning me. 00:47.859 --> 00:49.563 [SPEAKER_03]: And I was like, God is arm digging into my back. 00:49.583 --> 00:51.829 [SPEAKER_03]: And then I was like, that's enough. 00:51.849 --> 00:52.009 [UNKNOWN]: I'm arm. 01:00.967 --> 01:07.855 [SPEAKER_03]: We're an AZ guys, clearly we're on a different set and by set, I mean we're at Donald's house in Arizona, came to visit him for the weekend. 01:07.896 --> 01:08.777 [SPEAKER_03]: That's right. 01:09.137 --> 01:13.462 [SPEAKER_03]: So we've spent less hour and a half trying to figure out our setup here, but here we are. 01:13.522 --> 01:15.805 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I mean it's been good day though. 01:15.845 --> 01:16.967 [SPEAKER_02]: We killed in the pool. 01:16.987 --> 01:18.068 [SPEAKER_03]: We got tan. 01:18.348 --> 01:21.713 [SPEAKER_02]: I ate some leftover French fries and I found out if you reheat fries. 01:22.473 --> 01:25.337 [SPEAKER_02]: It's basically a skinny person food. 01:25.317 --> 01:27.064 [SPEAKER_02]: That starts with this, honey. 01:27.204 --> 01:27.466 [SPEAKER_03]: It is. 01:27.486 --> 01:29.152 [SPEAKER_03]: It's good for your gut. 01:29.172 --> 01:29.574 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm here for you. 01:29.594 --> 01:31.803 [SPEAKER_03]: If you cook potatoes, let them cool. 01:31.883 --> 01:36.441 [SPEAKER_03]: Whether you let them sit out for a while or put them in the fridge overnight and then reheat them. 01:36.708 --> 01:42.594 [SPEAKER_03]: It doubles the amount of resistance starch, which is feeds the good gut bacteria that we have. 01:43.596 --> 01:45.518 [SPEAKER_03]: And then they put off short-chain fatty acids. 01:45.778 --> 01:47.240 [SPEAKER_03]: So yes, it's very good for us. 01:47.620 --> 01:53.106 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I don't know if necessarily fries are the best some kind of potato which we have, okay. 01:53.326 --> 01:55.349 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, it's got it. 01:55.669 --> 02:02.957 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, if we were to be able to make it home, we'd probably would've been, but those are store-bought, but in store-bought, I mean, restaurant-bought. 02:02.977 --> 02:03.998 [SPEAKER_03]: I know. 02:03.978 --> 02:04.799 [SPEAKER_02]: Anyhoo. 02:05.220 --> 02:05.781 [SPEAKER_03]: Anyhoo. 02:06.543 --> 02:11.592 [SPEAKER_02]: So we are going to talk today about a fun topic. 02:11.732 --> 02:16.060 [SPEAKER_02]: I like, well, okay, we're not experts in it, but we're not an expert in any. 02:16.080 --> 02:18.504 [SPEAKER_02]: Anyhoo, we talk about this goes on this show. 02:18.544 --> 02:22.211 [SPEAKER_03]: For instance, if we don't talk about which is health and wellness. 02:22.732 --> 02:23.653 [SPEAKER_02]: Do me favor of my new. 02:23.673 --> 02:24.735 [SPEAKER_02]: It's pop up behind me. 02:24.755 --> 02:25.176 [SPEAKER_02]: Will you? 02:25.156 --> 02:28.320 [SPEAKER_03]: No, I'm not telling you, I'm gonna let him play. 02:30.583 --> 02:38.793 [SPEAKER_02]: Dang it, there's nothing more stressful side note than trying to, because there's a TV behind me that one of the cameras you can see. 02:38.833 --> 02:41.196 [SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, oh, we should put a picture or something on it. 02:41.237 --> 02:42.578 [SPEAKER_02]: So it just doesn't reflect the light. 02:42.959 --> 02:48.986 [SPEAKER_02]: There's nothing more stressful than when you have like 12,000 photos in your phone from years. 02:49.427 --> 02:54.133 [SPEAKER_02]: And you know, in those years, you were a hoe, and you might have sent, 02:54.113 --> 02:58.619 [SPEAKER_03]: We talked about this on one of our episodes, whether or not you clean up your stuff. 02:58.799 --> 03:06.169 [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly, and all the sudden, my photos start popping up on the CD and I was like, Jesus Christ, so this is simply playing with fire here, everybody look away. 03:06.189 --> 03:08.512 [SPEAKER_03]: I think we're good on there. 03:08.612 --> 03:12.217 [SPEAKER_03]: It hasn't switched photos yet, which means it probably won't. 03:12.237 --> 03:12.898 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm good. 03:12.878 --> 03:22.758 [SPEAKER_03]: But we've been like, normally we'll end with a phone a friend, but sometimes you guys send phone a friend that are so good that we're like, I mean, it's going to take, it's going to take the episode. 03:22.838 --> 03:29.050 [SPEAKER_02]: So yeah, so speaking of news on your phone, in your camera history, just kidding. 03:29.651 --> 03:30.974 [SPEAKER_02]: Um, like I've been to the phone a friend. 03:31.415 --> 03:32.457 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, go ahead and you got it. 03:32.437 --> 03:37.727 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so hi guys, please keep me anonymous because I'm already embarrassed enough sending this. 03:38.108 --> 03:41.514 [SPEAKER_02]: So I recently started dating again after being out of the game for a long time. 03:41.875 --> 03:43.438 [SPEAKER_02]: And I've been texting with a few guys. 03:43.859 --> 03:47.125 [SPEAKER_02]: One of them started getting a little flirty, then a little more flirty. 03:47.425 --> 03:50.672 [SPEAKER_02]: And now somehow we have crossed into what I guess is sexting. 03:50.912 --> 03:55.120 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, the problem is I've absolutely no idea what I'm doing. 03:55.100 --> 03:59.004 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, how graphic is too graphic, is there an unspoken rule here? 03:59.184 --> 04:02.967 [SPEAKER_02]: Am I supposed to match his exact, his energy exactly? 04:02.987 --> 04:08.612 [SPEAKER_02]: If he sends something kind of suggestive, do I have to send something equally suggestive back? 04:09.053 --> 04:11.855 [SPEAKER_02]: If he sends a photo, am I expected to send one, two? 04:12.275 --> 04:15.819 [SPEAKER_02]: And if I don't, does that make me seem boring or prudish or uninterested? 04:15.839 --> 04:25.107 [SPEAKER_02]: I have never really done this before, so every time my phone lights up, I feel like I'm taking a pop quiz for a class 04:25.087 --> 04:37.971 [SPEAKER_02]: Part of me wants to have fun and be playful and confident, but the other part of me is terrified I'm going to say something weird, send too much, send too little, or accidentally make this man think I belong in a convent. 04:38.512 --> 04:40.976 [SPEAKER_02]: Please tell me, what are the rules here? 04:41.036 --> 04:44.923 [SPEAKER_02]: Is there a normal level, flirty texting for beginners? 04:45.364 --> 04:48.630 [SPEAKER_02]: How do you know what's okay to send and what's better left on sent? 04:48.880 --> 04:55.233 [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, I have so many questions back to this person, but we're going to have to just make assumptions. 04:55.694 --> 04:58.640 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, what they should have done is sent to, I want to see the photos. 04:59.020 --> 05:00.062 [SPEAKER_03]: I want to see what the person is. 05:00.083 --> 05:01.445 [SPEAKER_03]: I want to see what he's saying. 05:01.465 --> 05:02.588 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, oh yeah. 05:02.948 --> 05:06.315 [SPEAKER_03]: Because I'm like, oh, it's hard to say until I see just how. 05:06.818 --> 05:10.786 [SPEAKER_03]: Because some people's level of graphic and other people's level of graphic are very different. 05:11.027 --> 05:14.654 [SPEAKER_02]: Do you remember I just moved to LA? 05:14.754 --> 05:20.606 [SPEAKER_02]: We hadn't even started filming 80 day yet, and I was on like every dating site that there was. 05:20.646 --> 05:23.633 [SPEAKER_02]: And this one was Bumble, but the game version of Bumble. 05:23.653 --> 05:25.516 [SPEAKER_02]: So this is the same as like Tinder and all the other apps. 05:26.138 --> 05:27.240 [SPEAKER_02]: And um... 05:27.220 --> 05:52.401 [SPEAKER_02]: It said this guy was like, hi, I was like, hi, it's hard like little four text back and forth messages on the app and then it was like, what are you in to I'm into and then went down this like list of such graphic graphic graphic like I remember you standing at my kitchen counter reading it to me and Kaylee and we were like, you were like, well, first you were reading it you were like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, 05:52.381 --> 05:57.436 [SPEAKER_02]: Because I get very, um, I don't want to get it over my head. 05:57.496 --> 06:02.270 [SPEAKER_02]: You know what I mean, like, you have to be careful. 06:02.290 --> 06:03.133 [SPEAKER_03]: But okay. 06:03.373 --> 06:07.285 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, God, my brain is exploding with questions and answers all I want. 06:07.737 --> 06:12.886 [SPEAKER_03]: I want to know if it's like just a thing where they're texting like does this person live near her? 06:12.946 --> 06:24.025 [SPEAKER_03]: Where it could be somebody that's you start dating right now because you gotta be rural careful there Because if it's somebody you can't be telling them that you're gonna do a b and c and then start dating I'm gonna be like 06:24.005 --> 06:25.727 [SPEAKER_03]: kidding, I would never actually. 06:25.747 --> 06:26.328 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm a lady. 06:26.868 --> 06:30.893 [SPEAKER_02]: My fingers just talk dirty sometimes, but it's clean up here, honey. 06:32.015 --> 06:33.817 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, let's play that scenario. 06:33.997 --> 06:48.915 [SPEAKER_02]: If you are, if you meet someone on a dating app and you start texting them, so that's like the basis of your relationship, but they are within a reasonable distance that you could meet up and, you know, 06:48.895 --> 06:50.198 [SPEAKER_02]: Hang out with that. 06:50.258 --> 06:53.184 [SPEAKER_03]: Hang out have a relationship or not and just have fun. 06:53.925 --> 06:54.767 [SPEAKER_03]: What are the rules? 06:55.288 --> 06:57.613 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's the first road we'll go down. 06:58.314 --> 06:59.376 [SPEAKER_02]: Like how would you handle it? 07:00.859 --> 07:08.555 [SPEAKER_03]: So me personally, once you're in it, like in a relationship, in a relationship, we can go some places. 07:08.895 --> 07:10.178 [SPEAKER_03]: We can say some things. 07:10.563 --> 07:17.711 [SPEAKER_03]: But if you start trying to go for that too early on, then I think that's all your interest did in, and that's fine if that's all I want. 07:17.731 --> 07:21.155 [SPEAKER_03]: If I'm just looking for a little... Robin Hood. 07:21.175 --> 07:22.837 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, then I guess go for it. 07:23.418 --> 07:36.233 [SPEAKER_03]: But if you dive into that too big, and you're hoping it will then turn into a relationship, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, 07:36.398 --> 07:37.780 [SPEAKER_02]: just a little unlikely. 07:37.880 --> 07:39.582 [SPEAKER_02]: I feel the same way. 07:39.743 --> 07:55.504 [SPEAKER_02]: If you, if this is a scenario where you are close enough to meet up with the person for dinner, even if it, like let's say it's not super close, but an hour or less for you guys to drive and meet for dinner or something. 07:55.484 --> 08:02.479 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know, an hour, see me kind of gets to the threshold of it makes sense to be texting dirty things because you're not as accessible, but I'm in LA. 08:02.679 --> 08:04.784 [SPEAKER_03]: You could live 15 miles away and it could take an hour. 08:04.944 --> 08:05.505 [SPEAKER_02]: That's true. 08:05.786 --> 08:06.928 [SPEAKER_03]: It's a bold depending on the time of day. 08:06.968 --> 08:07.469 [SPEAKER_02]: That's true. 08:07.770 --> 08:11.097 [SPEAKER_02]: So I feel like in that case, why are you? 08:11.498 --> 08:18.489 [SPEAKER_02]: sexing because I got the vibes that they have that's not like they have had sex or been into me and then started sexing. 08:18.509 --> 08:22.835 [SPEAKER_03]: No, it sounded like they just like the person like the guy just kind of jumped into it. 08:23.115 --> 08:23.917 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 08:23.937 --> 08:30.807 [SPEAKER_02]: So for me, if they live close, it's a little bit of a turn off to go right there. 08:31.411 --> 08:37.519 [SPEAKER_02]: It's like I picture someone just horny and they're bad like waiting to see what I'm going to send and it's like it's not what you're But I am. 08:37.880 --> 08:38.020 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 08:38.140 --> 08:54.523 [SPEAKER_03]: Is that what we're here for right which by the way, again, if that's what they're there for Because there was a lot of questions in that email yeah about what's appropriate when So you tell me of what rate we're playing this out so is that scenario one which is that the guy or the girl's nearby? 08:54.543 --> 08:56.305 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they're in the same town 08:56.285 --> 09:00.455 [SPEAKER_03]: then I would say, well, okay, so that was question A, they're nearby. 09:00.495 --> 09:12.623 [SPEAKER_03]: Then it is, are you just looking for a fling and you're okay with that, or if you're looking to actually meet somebody in date, because I feel like if you're looking to meet somebody in date, you should try to get to know them like 09:12.755 --> 09:13.136 [SPEAKER_03]: Yes. 09:13.716 --> 09:18.283 [SPEAKER_03]: Sex and all that is always going to be better when you know them anyways because you know them. 09:18.464 --> 09:21.829 [SPEAKER_02]: That's why they call it friends with benefits, even if you're not looking for a relationship. 09:21.849 --> 09:22.450 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you don't even know. 09:22.470 --> 09:23.091 [SPEAKER_02]: You don't even know. 09:23.111 --> 09:24.152 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, little bit of them. 09:24.212 --> 09:25.674 [SPEAKER_03]: Otherwise, it's still uncomfortable. 09:25.995 --> 09:29.380 [SPEAKER_03]: So I would say no matter what you would still want to get to know them, so it's not like 09:29.360 --> 09:31.083 [SPEAKER_02]: I feel the same super awkward. 09:31.163 --> 09:51.942 [SPEAKER_02]: It's the old expression by a girl a drink first like if you look close and ever we can meet and you can buy me a drink or we can like you know how drinks hang out have a bite to eat whatever that I like that effort and then even if I'm not looking for a relationship if it is just for fun I still like that 09:52.310 --> 09:55.875 [SPEAKER_02]: moment of, okay, make sure we enjoy each other. 09:55.915 --> 10:02.203 [SPEAKER_02]: Because there's nothing worse than like getting yourself in a situation with someone who you've realized then you hate their personality. 10:03.224 --> 10:04.866 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, it's like, what am I doing here? 10:04.926 --> 10:05.787 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and if you did. 10:06.048 --> 10:16.742 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and if you jump in bed with them really quick, and then you decide, like, oh, okay, maybe the sex was really good and you want to start to get to know each other and you're like, oh God, I shouldn't just kept this a set. 10:16.762 --> 10:17.202 [SPEAKER_03]: Exactly. 10:17.222 --> 10:19.465 [SPEAKER_03]: This person you suck. 10:19.445 --> 10:27.518 [SPEAKER_02]: And also, there's a risk, I guess, of one of you catching feeling, and so make sure that if someone, I don't know makes you know. 10:27.538 --> 10:37.013 [SPEAKER_03]: You remember, if yes, if you're going to jump right into the physical stuff without taking the time to really get to know each other and go on some dates, there's a lot of listen. 10:37.093 --> 10:37.854 [SPEAKER_03]: We live in a day and age. 10:37.894 --> 10:39.216 [SPEAKER_03]: There's questions that need to be asked. 10:41.079 --> 10:41.640 [SPEAKER_03]: Are you married? 10:41.880 --> 10:43.683 [SPEAKER_03]: Are you seeing somebody else? 10:43.703 --> 10:46.768 [SPEAKER_03]: How many somebody else are you seeing? 10:47.710 --> 10:48.472 [SPEAKER_02]: Use protection. 10:48.493 --> 10:57.321 [SPEAKER_02]: So I think this is more in the gay world than straight world because we have grinder, which is really which is like a hook up. 10:57.341 --> 10:57.823 [SPEAKER_02]: Right. 10:57.843 --> 11:00.792 [SPEAKER_02]: I actually met one of my. 11:01.598 --> 11:11.073 [SPEAKER_02]: past boyfriends on there and I didn't really use it as a hook-up app because I am very as much as I joke and like maybe say wild stories on our podcast. 11:11.553 --> 11:17.703 [SPEAKER_02]: I like to be like I'm I was there for dates, you know, but that also is pretty. 11:17.723 --> 11:21.589 [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, she treat me nice, I'm easy to get in bed. 11:21.609 --> 11:21.910 [SPEAKER_02]: Sorry. 11:21.950 --> 11:23.372 [SPEAKER_02]: Sorry, I'm not sorry. 11:24.954 --> 11:25.395 [SPEAKER_02]: But 11:26.455 --> 11:49.779 [SPEAKER_02]: Then it was more common for it was like a normal thing for people to be like exchange picks and I always felt so intimidated by that Like how about we meet up or something like I don't know who this is they could be sending fake picks What if I don't know the real I get you better face time me Cause you could say send picks and you could still be sending Some AI shit. 11:50.420 --> 11:50.860 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah 11:51.734 --> 11:54.358 [SPEAKER_03]: I feel like the cat fishing is probably the worst right now. 11:54.638 --> 11:55.399 [SPEAKER_03]: I bad. 11:55.439 --> 11:59.665 [SPEAKER_03]: There's like so much AI and stuff and it's so good. 11:59.826 --> 12:07.617 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, so you could spend all this time talking to like somebody and thinking like you're getting to know somebody and they're not real. 12:07.637 --> 12:11.803 [SPEAKER_03]: I actually watched the documentary on that on Netflix, I forget what it was called. 12:11.883 --> 12:13.405 [SPEAKER_03]: It was crazy. 12:14.650 --> 12:22.441 [SPEAKER_03]: It turned out that the girl that was getting catfished, it was her cousin doing it to her. 12:24.104 --> 12:25.886 [SPEAKER_03]: It was crazy. 12:25.946 --> 12:30.833 [SPEAKER_03]: She was using this guy's photos that was like somebody in the town and stuff, and they were supposed to meet. 12:31.194 --> 12:35.280 [SPEAKER_03]: Like a year-long relationship, like relationship, but they had never met. 12:35.300 --> 12:41.569 [SPEAKER_03]: They were just always talking and stuff, but like on the phone, never video anything, 12:42.697 --> 12:44.719 [SPEAKER_03]: They were supposed to meet that he didn't show blah, blah, blah. 12:45.000 --> 12:48.404 [SPEAKER_03]: And the girl ends up like tracking him down, the one that's getting catfish. 12:48.584 --> 12:49.485 [SPEAKER_03]: Going to the guy's house. 12:50.186 --> 12:51.347 [SPEAKER_03]: The guy's married with kids. 12:51.387 --> 12:52.749 [SPEAKER_03]: He has no idea who this girl is. 12:52.769 --> 12:53.810 [SPEAKER_03]: It just showed up at his house. 12:53.830 --> 12:54.811 [SPEAKER_03]: And she's going on and on. 12:54.831 --> 12:55.993 [SPEAKER_03]: And she's like, I got all these messages. 12:56.293 --> 12:57.414 [SPEAKER_03]: And the wife's like, walk. 12:57.875 --> 13:00.038 [SPEAKER_03]: And then he's like, I don't know you. 13:00.058 --> 13:03.101 [SPEAKER_03]: This girl's like devastated, because she's been talking to him for a year. 13:03.121 --> 13:04.643 [SPEAKER_03]: They had to get the police involved. 13:04.683 --> 13:07.847 [SPEAKER_03]: And then it gets all tracked back to her freaking cousin. 13:08.307 --> 13:08.788 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, my God. 13:08.768 --> 13:14.099 [SPEAKER_03]: with no explanation why the like the cousin didn't have an explanation is to why she was doing it to her. 13:14.119 --> 13:14.880 [SPEAKER_03]: That's crazy. 13:14.940 --> 13:16.644 [SPEAKER_03]: But like this poor girl's life was like ruined. 13:17.405 --> 13:19.309 [SPEAKER_03]: Like she was devastated. 13:19.429 --> 13:20.932 [SPEAKER_03]: She thought she was marrying the guy. 13:21.674 --> 13:21.814 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 13:22.916 --> 13:25.782 [SPEAKER_03]: Like the jit like they had talked about getting married. 13:26.707 --> 13:27.528 [SPEAKER_03]: That's why. 13:27.648 --> 13:30.751 [SPEAKER_03]: So, anyways, that was a long story, but like a fun stuff family. 13:31.571 --> 13:32.652 [SPEAKER_02]: Uh-huh. 13:32.672 --> 13:33.213 [SPEAKER_02]: Like cousin. 13:33.293 --> 13:33.773 [SPEAKER_03]: Right? 13:33.993 --> 13:35.054 [SPEAKER_03]: Like crazy. 13:35.094 --> 13:44.943 [SPEAKER_03]: But you said you gotta be careful about getting out of it, so they're like, I feel like you need to, I feel like sending picks is honestly dangerous, in general. 13:46.124 --> 13:46.444 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. 13:47.065 --> 13:53.771 [SPEAKER_03]: I, I, I, I, I'm not, I'm not saying I'm opposed to it, but I'm also saying, play him with fire. 13:54.491 --> 13:56.393 [SPEAKER_03]: You are for so many reasons. 13:57.571 --> 14:02.536 [SPEAKER_03]: You better not put your face in that photo because you don't know this person. 14:02.576 --> 14:04.938 [SPEAKER_03]: They could take your stuff and just start putting it all over the internet. 14:05.178 --> 14:05.419 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 14:06.019 --> 14:19.832 [SPEAKER_02]: Like that's honestly when I have sent like sexual pictures or, you know, I didn't often send like just full frontal nudes, but just like sexy pictures. 14:20.433 --> 14:24.777 [SPEAKER_02]: I would not have my face in them because I was like at least I could deny. 14:25.516 --> 14:37.348 [SPEAKER_03]: And you can blame it on AI nowadays, that's amazing, but nonetheless, like yeah, like if you start sending stuff you don't know you don't know you guys could be in a relationship you still don't know you could break up and that person could be real 14:37.953 --> 14:45.166 [SPEAKER_02]: Ooh, and they could use your pictures to create AI videos to make it look like you are doing the things. 14:45.667 --> 14:55.624 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so, all right, but before you get to, before you get to exchanging news, let's say you're in a texting relationship and it starts to get, 14:55.604 --> 14:59.912 [SPEAKER_02]: like I'm gonna say tax and I want you to tell me how you would respond. 15:00.252 --> 15:07.045 [SPEAKER_02]: Let's say all this okay someone says um you know how long have we been texting? 15:07.285 --> 15:13.697 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay you've been texting every day for five days 15:13.930 --> 15:24.947 [SPEAKER_02]: but every day like every day just five days though yeah in the and I've never met the person right but you have that exciting feeling like oh my god every time you're phone dings you You laugh for the best. 15:25.488 --> 15:32.118 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, he's like you send you guys are you send pictures, but not dirty ones. 15:32.218 --> 15:34.842 [SPEAKER_02]: It's just like good morning or whatever blah 15:34.822 --> 15:41.049 [SPEAKER_02]: And he says, so in response to one of your, like, hi, you know, just got back from dinner with my girlfriends. 15:42.050 --> 15:45.554 [SPEAKER_02]: And you're like a he responds, you're so beautiful. 15:45.594 --> 15:47.016 [SPEAKER_02]: Next text. 15:47.436 --> 15:48.677 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm so horny for you. 15:48.717 --> 15:49.979 [SPEAKER_02]: What do you say? 15:50.680 --> 15:51.140 [SPEAKER_03]: He right. 15:53.042 --> 16:00.370 [SPEAKER_03]: Well, that's, see, that's aggressive to me if, if, if we haven't had any flirtatious, like sexual to jump to. 16:00.531 --> 16:01.752 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm so horny for you. 16:01.772 --> 16:04.575 [SPEAKER_03]: And it's, we've been texting for five days. 16:04.927 --> 16:07.415 [SPEAKER_03]: Ah, you actually just turned me off. 16:08.840 --> 16:09.522 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 16:09.743 --> 16:15.662 [SPEAKER_03]: I would want something like, I can't wait to meet you in person. 16:16.081 --> 16:19.885 [SPEAKER_03]: Can't wait to sit across from you over dinner and see her at you. 16:19.925 --> 16:26.672 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, I would look for something more sweet and sexy before I'm so horny for you five days into texting. 16:26.872 --> 16:28.114 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so would you just leave it? 16:28.154 --> 16:30.176 [SPEAKER_02]: Do you think you would respond at all? 16:30.196 --> 16:33.840 [SPEAKER_03]: I would probably play it off with like a L.O.L. 16:33.900 --> 16:42.409 [SPEAKER_03]: Well, no, or like, you know, like I wouldn't give much of anything or like, yeah, like a okay, like, oh my. 16:43.030 --> 16:53.841 [SPEAKER_03]: I hope you have sweet dreams or something like I don't know like I would try to like not overdo it like I wouldn't but I wouldn't be giving up like a like it wouldn't be giving him anything to work with. 16:54.242 --> 16:54.622 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. 16:54.662 --> 16:54.903 [SPEAKER_02]: I mean. 16:54.943 --> 16:55.984 [SPEAKER_02]: All right. 16:56.584 --> 16:59.167 [SPEAKER_02]: What if that text didn't get sent? 16:59.447 --> 16:59.808 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. 16:59.828 --> 17:12.261 [SPEAKER_02]: But all of a sudden you get like a text that is like a mere selfie and he's only in his underwear. 17:12.545 --> 17:15.962 [SPEAKER_03]: Do you remember when you get like, you were not in a monica? 17:16.002 --> 17:19.821 [SPEAKER_03]: And I met that guy at the bar and like, made out with him. 17:20.797 --> 17:25.122 [SPEAKER_03]: Did I get out with him at the bar or was it just when he stuck his head through the cab window? 17:25.162 --> 17:44.383 [SPEAKER_02]: No, it was at the first of all the place the bar we were at had couches sitting around all over and you were sitting next to him on the couch and you were Smooching just a little bit If my memory does serve and it certainly does honey Listen So hey kids, I'm not here judge. 17:44.703 --> 17:49.268 [SPEAKER_03]: We first of all he didn't live in LA I forget where he lived like 17:49.248 --> 18:18.698 [SPEAKER_03]: another state but not far but okay fine we made it like because on the couch and then he shoved his head through the cab window and kissed me again and it was like am I coming with you and we were you and Kaylee were there and I was like no absolutely not absolutely not but we exchanged numbers and we texted a little bit but yes within a day or two he sent me a like he had just gotten out of the shower and he had a towel wrapped around his waist but I didn't send him anything 18:19.167 --> 18:20.268 [SPEAKER_02]: Was it unprovoked? 18:20.408 --> 18:22.049 [SPEAKER_03]: It was, oh yeah, I didn't ask for anything. 18:22.069 --> 18:24.892 [SPEAKER_02]: There's just a random, like all the sudden you get a picture of them. 18:25.292 --> 18:31.017 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, like he might have been texting about the day or something, but like, and yet that to me was an instant turn off. 18:31.037 --> 18:35.100 [SPEAKER_03]: He had a great body, but I was just like, no, we're not going here. 18:35.140 --> 18:36.702 [SPEAKER_03]: You don't live anywhere nearby. 18:36.802 --> 18:38.043 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, I mentioned a bar we kissed. 18:38.183 --> 18:39.164 [SPEAKER_03]: What is it? 18:39.324 --> 18:44.388 [SPEAKER_03]: But I don't want that is not what I want three days in to talking to you. 18:44.829 --> 18:45.089 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 18:45.829 --> 18:48.972 [SPEAKER_03]: And then maybe we talked for another couple of days 18:48.952 --> 18:49.913 [SPEAKER_02]: So that was the turn-off. 18:50.013 --> 18:59.424 [SPEAKER_02]: I was like investing is a nice, like in this technology world of dating where you oftentimes meet people online or you're just texting so much. 19:00.365 --> 19:06.092 [SPEAKER_02]: It's easy to just kind of let it fade away and sorry I was busy and then you know yeah so I get that. 19:06.312 --> 19:16.123 [SPEAKER_03]: I do feel bad if I ghost because I don't like when somebody does it to me and like just be like yo man like great but not interested but then again when it comes up I'm like I just 19:16.913 --> 19:19.397 [SPEAKER_02]: That's the thing, sometimes people don't be taken hints. 19:19.938 --> 19:28.010 [SPEAKER_02]: Like sometimes it's like, if anyone treated me with the level of interest I'm treating you with, I would move the hell on. 19:28.451 --> 19:31.796 [SPEAKER_02]: Like this is called letting you down nicely. 19:31.857 --> 19:40.330 [SPEAKER_03]: Yes, if we were texting a lot, like, oh, text, text, text, and then we meet up or something and then all of a sudden I'm really taking like five and six hours to respond. 19:41.051 --> 19:41.672 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 19:42.513 --> 19:43.795 [SPEAKER_03]: I didn't kiss you goodbye. 19:43.855 --> 19:44.696 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 19:45.317 --> 19:46.419 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it says something. 19:46.459 --> 19:46.639 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 19:46.659 --> 19:47.460 [SPEAKER_02]: About saying something. 19:48.542 --> 19:49.984 [SPEAKER_02]: Um, okay. 19:50.004 --> 19:52.507 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, so you're just not a big selfie-sender. 19:52.527 --> 19:54.009 [SPEAKER_03]: I know that's not what I'm saying. 19:54.330 --> 20:03.323 [SPEAKER_03]: Not five days in, like I said, if I'm in a relationship with somebody, well, very hard for me to say, because I'm using past experience. 20:03.363 --> 20:09.972 [SPEAKER_03]: And so like the last person I was with, yes, we would send things. 20:10.745 --> 20:15.972 [SPEAKER_03]: but I also felt very safe that it would never be used against me. 20:16.472 --> 20:16.793 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 20:17.714 --> 20:22.961 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know what it would take for me to feel that level of comfort with somebody again. 20:23.001 --> 20:25.044 [SPEAKER_03]: Or how long? 20:25.084 --> 20:25.865 [SPEAKER_03]: Or how long? 20:26.145 --> 20:28.268 [SPEAKER_03]: But it would take a lot. 20:28.888 --> 20:30.070 [SPEAKER_03]: Because 20:30.252 --> 20:35.486 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm not saying it was like rotesca or anything, but you know, you just, you don't need things getting out there. 20:37.792 --> 20:39.697 [SPEAKER_02]: No, but you don't. 20:40.579 --> 20:42.945 [SPEAKER_02]: That'd be awful. 20:43.735 --> 20:47.802 [SPEAKER_03]: Hey, if I ain't making money for it on only fans, nobody else making money off me, that's right. 20:48.002 --> 21:00.664 [SPEAKER_02]: So I feel like that one time, like this is back in my, I don't want to say my whole days because I wasn't home, but I did say I had like taken some, 21:00.644 --> 21:24.880 [SPEAKER_02]: pictures at the to send this is my 20s and um I also was singing at a shirt and it was a large shirt and uh somebody stole my phone and it wasn't locked and I was like oh my god while I was up there on stage singing I was like someone out that someone can see me and also look at my phone 21:24.860 --> 21:26.482 [SPEAKER_03]: Well, first of all, they're a bad person. 21:26.502 --> 21:28.245 [SPEAKER_03]: They shouldn't be at that church seal in phones. 21:28.385 --> 21:44.168 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, so this church, and I feel so sorry for talking about this before, but they I loved that church, and they had, they were very large eight, five services, and each service had about a thousand people in it, but one of the services, and this isn't to say anything 21:44.148 --> 21:49.614 [SPEAKER_02]: about people in recovery, but it was a recovery service where there were a lot of different kinds of people. 21:49.674 --> 21:57.602 [SPEAKER_02]: Some of them might have been coming with friends and they might have like been in a state of mind where the world they lived in, if you see a cell phone, I understand did you take it? 21:57.782 --> 21:57.922 [SPEAKER_02]: Right. 21:58.122 --> 22:01.946 [SPEAKER_02]: So, you know, it obviously is about being never got the phone back? 22:01.966 --> 22:04.829 [SPEAKER_02]: No, and I just, I didn't even talk to anyone about it. 22:04.849 --> 22:08.033 [SPEAKER_02]: So I was like, I'm really worried someone's going to find me. 22:08.133 --> 22:10.175 [SPEAKER_02]: You're seeing that guy's gone. 22:10.195 --> 22:12.197 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, it might be out there. 22:12.177 --> 22:19.548 [SPEAKER_03]: Make sure you take lots of new photos and put them on the photos of yourself and put them on the internet. 22:21.511 --> 22:22.933 [SPEAKER_03]: Can nobody find new? 22:22.973 --> 22:27.320 [SPEAKER_03]: That's a good show. 22:27.420 --> 22:28.401 [SPEAKER_01]: Got it. 22:28.642 --> 22:29.663 [SPEAKER_03]: Yes. 22:29.643 --> 22:33.588 [SPEAKER_03]: Um, but okay, so the person that emailed us has a bunch of questions. 22:33.608 --> 22:36.091 [SPEAKER_03]: She was like, if they send a pick, do I have to send a pick? 22:36.332 --> 22:36.632 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. 22:36.652 --> 22:37.333 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 22:37.353 --> 22:40.557 [SPEAKER_02]: I say early on, you don't have to do anything. 22:40.777 --> 22:47.325 [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm someone who does feel like when I'm dating someone or I want someone to think that I'm hot or interesting or funny. 22:47.466 --> 22:50.369 [SPEAKER_02]: And when I say dating, I mean, not like now and I in a relationship. 22:50.409 --> 22:57.979 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, so you like, it's new and you're still like creating the image of yourself for that person. 22:58.162 --> 23:05.858 [SPEAKER_02]: I would like to remind myself in those moments, I don't owe anything, especially if I could go back and tell my past self something. 23:05.918 --> 23:11.790 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, because I sometimes would participate just because I didn't want to come across as a loser. 23:11.850 --> 23:13.634 [SPEAKER_02]: Right, if you don't come to that, I mean, what I want. 23:13.994 --> 23:19.225 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and so I would say to the person who wrote in, 23:19.205 --> 23:33.923 [SPEAKER_02]: you definitely do not have to ever like match if you unless you want to you shouldn't feel like your pressure to either send back like a text or a picture or anything like that. 23:33.970 --> 23:34.331 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 23:35.152 --> 23:58.527 [SPEAKER_03]: So the person that I had sent photos with back forth that I dated, I remember the exact first one they sent to me and I definitely didn't send anything back and we had been talking for a while, like maybe several weeks to a month at least and the photo that was sent wasn't like crazy graphic or anything, but I was like, oh, 23:58.507 --> 23:59.108 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, my. 23:59.408 --> 23:59.909 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, my. 23:59.929 --> 24:02.974 [SPEAKER_03]: And I was like, oh, I think you look at that. 24:03.495 --> 24:04.396 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I was on it. 24:04.456 --> 24:07.181 [SPEAKER_03]: I was like, oh, wow, part. 24:07.942 --> 24:09.845 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, but I'm not sending that right now. 24:09.865 --> 24:10.766 [SPEAKER_03]: I wasn't there yet. 24:10.887 --> 24:14.653 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, so I don't think you have to send back. 24:15.173 --> 24:23.687 [SPEAKER_03]: And it'll sometimes is interesting to see like how they respond to like if you're not feeling comfortable sending something back and all of a sudden they like, 24:23.667 --> 24:26.511 [SPEAKER_03]: Cop an attitude or kind of I saw you something. 24:26.691 --> 24:49.843 [SPEAKER_03]: What yeah, or they stop messaging like, you know, they might be embarrassed But if you could tell that they're taking it like, oh, you're what apps then you're not you don't have what I want if you don't want to play like this cool move on Yeah, like I totally but there's not just photos that happen like was when you're sexting sexting isn't really I mean, yeah, sometimes it's photos But a lot of times does what you're saying and that stresses me out too 24:49.891 --> 24:57.181 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm, it does, like I don't really, I don't really, I am such a feeling. 24:57.721 --> 25:01.727 [SPEAKER_02]: But I'm not a very talker, I'm not a baby dirty talker. 25:02.888 --> 25:07.234 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I don't want to, it's all my go lose here, but the truth is, I'm not a big dirty talker, like. 25:07.635 --> 25:07.835 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 25:11.680 --> 25:15.365 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my god, when I just think about saying dirty things, it makes me feel feel like. 25:18.589 --> 25:19.290 [SPEAKER_02]: What about you? 25:21.548 --> 25:22.590 [SPEAKER_02]: Tell the truth, because I know. 25:22.610 --> 25:24.212 [SPEAKER_00]: I know, I know, I know, I know they're gonna lie. 25:24.512 --> 25:25.554 [SPEAKER_03]: I know, I have a problem with it. 25:25.674 --> 25:26.555 [SPEAKER_03]: Again, it would depend. 25:26.575 --> 25:30.962 [SPEAKER_03]: But if you're, if, it didn't, you have to be careful what you're setting yourself up for. 25:31.002 --> 25:32.003 [SPEAKER_03]: That is the bottom line. 25:32.064 --> 25:32.885 [SPEAKER_02]: That's right. 25:33.205 --> 25:40.736 [SPEAKER_03]: If this is somebody in another state, you know you're never gonna see world's your oyster, say whatever, especially if you're texting and you're not even voice texting. 25:41.257 --> 25:41.357 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 25:41.377 --> 25:45.223 [SPEAKER_03]: Because you know, sometimes saying it out loud is a little like, well, I gotta say those things. 25:45.704 --> 25:48.568 [SPEAKER_03]: But if you're just using your fingers to type things, 25:49.072 --> 25:50.154 [SPEAKER_02]: It's all good, baby. 25:50.174 --> 25:50.775 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 25:50.795 --> 25:51.597 [SPEAKER_02]: You didn't say it. 25:52.198 --> 25:52.699 [SPEAKER_02]: Your fingers. 25:52.759 --> 25:53.621 [SPEAKER_03]: Alternate universe. 25:53.641 --> 25:54.583 [SPEAKER_03]: Live in it, baby. 25:54.603 --> 25:55.445 [SPEAKER_03]: Tell them all the things. 25:56.487 --> 26:04.262 [SPEAKER_03]: But again, I go back to, if this is somebody you're going to interact with, like, face to face. 26:04.242 --> 26:05.705 [SPEAKER_02]: you got to be able to put your money. 26:05.765 --> 26:21.880 [SPEAKER_03]: Where you are, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where you're, where 26:21.860 --> 26:25.445 [SPEAKER_03]: That's just, if you're not willing to back up there, you're just being fun and flirty. 26:25.465 --> 26:27.128 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, I didn't do that. 26:27.148 --> 26:31.014 [SPEAKER_03]: Because couples will like fantasize talk about things. 26:31.034 --> 26:35.441 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, oh my god, wouldn't it be hot if blah, blah, blah, but they don't really mean it. 26:35.701 --> 26:39.908 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, they're not like actually going to go do those things. 26:39.928 --> 26:40.869 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, that's true. 26:40.909 --> 26:43.513 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, I don't know, like sometimes maybe like they'll talk about like, 26:43.763 --> 26:46.868 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh honey, like what if there was like another girl like what would you want? 26:46.888 --> 26:50.675 [SPEAKER_03]: Like the female is an actually interested in bringing like another female. 26:50.715 --> 26:53.740 [SPEAKER_03]: And she's trying to get her husband riled up, have a good time and go to bed. 26:53.801 --> 26:59.390 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, yeah, except I heard what Nikki Glay is that her name is, the comedian. 26:59.531 --> 27:03.257 [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't watch the podcast interview that she did with Caller Daddy, but she might would wait. 27:03.237 --> 27:07.421 [SPEAKER_02]: But even though I actually watch that podcast a little bit, I actually would be interested in that episode too. 27:07.721 --> 27:08.923 [SPEAKER_02]: But I saw a headline. 27:08.983 --> 27:12.866 [SPEAKER_02]: So that's all this is coming from if it's not true information. 27:13.227 --> 27:16.890 [SPEAKER_02]: That she thinks it's hot for her boyfriend to hook up with other girls. 27:16.930 --> 27:18.632 [SPEAKER_02]: Because she also thinks girls are hot. 27:18.652 --> 27:20.214 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and I saw that same thing. 27:20.234 --> 27:21.735 [SPEAKER_03]: I was like, oh, wow. 27:21.755 --> 27:22.956 [SPEAKER_03]: So she's willing to back it up. 27:22.976 --> 27:23.957 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm sorry, you're joking. 27:23.977 --> 27:24.538 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, with it. 27:25.258 --> 27:28.061 [SPEAKER_03]: So maybe when she texts, since X, she says. 27:28.121 --> 27:29.903 [SPEAKER_03]: Right. 27:30.322 --> 27:33.247 [SPEAKER_03]: just words like I don't know why we get so embarrassed about it. 27:34.108 --> 27:37.373 [SPEAKER_02]: Because words come with a little action and vulnerability. 27:37.394 --> 27:43.984 [SPEAKER_02]: A little picture of a movie in your brain and that picture movie in a little insight into my life. 27:44.004 --> 27:45.807 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, exactly. 27:45.827 --> 27:51.857 [SPEAKER_02]: You get a little information of what you can come up with in your mind and that's has something. 27:52.968 --> 27:53.749 [SPEAKER_03]: don't go in mind. 27:53.789 --> 27:59.055 [SPEAKER_03]: But it all has to be what you're comfortable with. 27:59.696 --> 28:17.676 [SPEAKER_03]: And listen, there are like for for somebody who's not necessarily like if you're not in the public eye at all like and you're not worried about that and you don't have kids that would but like if you are in the public eye or you have a job that could be compromised if that information got out there, then you got to be more careful because people are 28:18.432 --> 28:26.451 [SPEAKER_03]: people are assholes like and people like God don't be a school teacher and have somebody come back and like all of sudden send it to the dean or something which 28:27.241 --> 28:27.882 [SPEAKER_03]: which shouldn't matter. 28:27.942 --> 28:28.742 [SPEAKER_03]: It's a private text. 28:28.762 --> 28:29.603 [SPEAKER_03]: It's not like you're putting it up. 28:29.643 --> 28:30.204 [SPEAKER_03]: You know what I'm saying? 28:30.224 --> 28:37.951 [SPEAKER_03]: But like, you know, you just see these headlines all the time of like, oh my god, and then this happened and it got sent to her kid's school or put on a kid's bulletin boarder. 28:38.431 --> 28:39.552 [SPEAKER_03]: Like something crazy. 28:39.652 --> 28:43.215 [SPEAKER_03]: So I think you always have to be aware of who you're interacting with. 28:43.295 --> 28:47.799 [SPEAKER_03]: And if you don't know the person that well, I am gonna assume the worst kind of gal. 28:47.819 --> 28:48.900 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know what you want me to tell you. 28:48.980 --> 28:49.841 [SPEAKER_03]: Life has taught me. 28:50.522 --> 28:51.403 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm fucking trust nobody. 28:51.423 --> 28:54.465 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know if you tell you. 28:54.485 --> 28:55.246 [SPEAKER_03]: This is what it is. 28:55.506 --> 28:56.387 [SPEAKER_03]: That's how I feel. 28:56.789 --> 28:57.710 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't like it, she has nobody. 28:58.010 --> 29:01.334 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, well, I mean, how are you usually assume the worst? 29:02.535 --> 29:04.657 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, unfortunately, I'm just right. 29:05.658 --> 29:10.283 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, maybe I know, but I like to assume the best in people. 29:10.724 --> 29:12.986 [SPEAKER_02]: Can I get you bitten the ass every time and not in a good way? 29:13.206 --> 29:14.327 [SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, well, that might be. 29:14.648 --> 29:16.109 [SPEAKER_02]: That was your turn that you said. 29:17.090 --> 29:18.652 [SPEAKER_02]: What's you buy my ass? 29:18.672 --> 29:19.453 [UNKNOWN]: Ha ha ha ha. 29:20.354 --> 29:20.954 [SPEAKER_02]: That, I'm way off. 29:21.194 --> 29:22.696 [SPEAKER_03]: Can't say I've ever said those things. 29:23.156 --> 29:26.560 [SPEAKER_02]: See, there's why I don't do it. 29:26.978 --> 29:28.220 [SPEAKER_02]: So I'm bad at real hard. 29:28.821 --> 29:29.382 [SPEAKER_02]: Ow. 29:29.402 --> 29:29.482 [SPEAKER_02]: Ow. 29:29.502 --> 29:31.024 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I hate that. 29:31.905 --> 29:33.267 [SPEAKER_02]: Nell does it to me sometimes. 29:33.368 --> 29:34.429 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god. 29:34.449 --> 29:36.232 [SPEAKER_02]: And then I'm like, do you mind? 29:36.913 --> 29:37.273 [SPEAKER_02]: Anyways. 29:37.934 --> 29:39.216 [SPEAKER_02]: Wow, we just got a rose lamp. 29:40.779 --> 29:42.541 [SPEAKER_02]: See, no, I'm so nervous and rushing. 29:42.581 --> 29:45.506 [SPEAKER_02]: No, yeah, it's not, it's not for me. 29:45.586 --> 29:49.652 [SPEAKER_02]: But it has happened a lot that someone starts to go there. 29:49.672 --> 29:54.319 [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm always like, I just always give a lot of, that's hot. 29:55.092 --> 29:55.913 [SPEAKER_02]: Erselton. 29:55.933 --> 29:58.817 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's not really like, wow, so sexy. 30:00.199 --> 30:00.339 [SPEAKER_03]: Mm-hmm. 30:00.359 --> 30:03.984 [SPEAKER_03]: It's, I think texting in general is like really interesting. 30:04.025 --> 30:08.411 [SPEAKER_03]: Obviously we're in this like age of technology where that's all we do is text, you know? 30:08.451 --> 30:17.183 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, I told you I was like talking with somebody and I don't even know, I don't know if it's like a friend or a data or whatever, but he calls. 30:18.545 --> 30:20.948 [SPEAKER_03]: And I'm like, oh my God. 30:21.209 --> 30:22.230 [SPEAKER_02]: I know. 30:22.379 --> 30:23.261 [SPEAKER_03]: Why are you calling? 30:23.321 --> 30:24.162 [SPEAKER_03]: Like who calls? 30:24.222 --> 30:25.044 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm very on the spot. 30:25.064 --> 30:25.906 [SPEAKER_03]: You want to go to dinner? 30:25.946 --> 30:27.969 [SPEAKER_03]: You sent me a text and I tell you what I'm free. 30:28.290 --> 30:29.112 [SPEAKER_03]: Exactly. 30:29.172 --> 30:30.534 [SPEAKER_03]: But you want me to answer the phone? 30:30.554 --> 30:31.416 [SPEAKER_03]: This is a lot of word. 30:31.436 --> 30:32.017 [SPEAKER_03]: I know. 30:32.037 --> 30:34.522 [SPEAKER_03]: Which is crazy because I remember in college. 30:34.882 --> 30:36.105 [SPEAKER_03]: I loved being on the phone. 30:36.325 --> 30:37.868 [SPEAKER_03]: I called everybody all the time. 30:37.928 --> 30:39.230 [SPEAKER_03]: I was on the phone always. 30:39.311 --> 30:42.016 [SPEAKER_03]: Like my roommates always got annoyed that our landline was tied up. 30:42.076 --> 30:42.937 [SPEAKER_03]: Because that was a moment. 30:43.959 --> 30:44.961 [SPEAKER_03]: Now I'm like. 30:45.785 --> 30:46.947 [SPEAKER_03]: I got to really know you. 30:46.967 --> 30:48.569 [SPEAKER_03]: Like I love talking to you on the phone. 30:49.030 --> 30:50.772 [SPEAKER_03]: Yes, past relationships. 30:50.792 --> 30:55.499 [SPEAKER_03]: Like if I'm in the relationship in it, in it, that's why I want you to call and check in on my day. 30:55.519 --> 30:56.560 [SPEAKER_03]: Hey babe, how's it going? 30:56.600 --> 30:58.282 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, okay, I'll be over blah, blah, blah, blah. 30:58.343 --> 30:58.783 [SPEAKER_03]: I'll pick you up. 31:00.045 --> 31:01.106 [SPEAKER_03]: Or just getting to know each other. 31:01.126 --> 31:03.069 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, oh, I'm the same. 31:03.169 --> 31:08.577 [SPEAKER_02]: Like if I feel very comfortable talking to my friends, I love to talk on the phone and my friends face time. 31:08.977 --> 31:12.963 [SPEAKER_02]: But if I'm just gonna do know someone, it's like, my voice sounds weird. 31:13.083 --> 31:14.425 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, 31:14.523 --> 31:36.025 [SPEAKER_03]: Hi, I don't know, it's just isn't comfortable because you don't know the person worried what if there's a little how long we got to stay on the phone, but so all of that some kind of trying to think of like all the questions she asked, which was like, what are the rules I don't want to think I'm brewed, I think like I bottom line, I think no matter what. 31:37.169 --> 31:39.373 [SPEAKER_03]: you move at the pace that is right for you. 31:39.694 --> 31:39.934 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 31:40.114 --> 31:44.242 [SPEAKER_03]: And the right person will, it'll, it won't feel forced. 31:44.482 --> 31:45.684 [SPEAKER_03]: It will feel natural. 31:46.145 --> 31:46.626 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 31:46.646 --> 31:48.389 [SPEAKER_03]: It'll feel like this is what I want to be saying. 31:48.429 --> 31:49.491 [SPEAKER_03]: This is what I want to be doing. 31:49.531 --> 31:50.653 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm having fun. 31:50.673 --> 31:56.764 [SPEAKER_03]: It won't feel uncomfortable or unsafe or an unwarranted. 31:56.744 --> 31:57.185 [SPEAKER_03]: thing. 31:57.225 --> 31:57.886 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 31:58.367 --> 32:00.330 [SPEAKER_03]: And if it does, it's probably not right. 32:00.530 --> 32:12.550 [SPEAKER_02]: I also think that it's like if because and I can remember now, people would ask me when I was on the apps and stuff like you want to trade picks. 32:12.570 --> 32:15.595 [SPEAKER_03]: And does that mean I'm just curious when you say do you want to trade picks? 32:15.655 --> 32:18.820 [SPEAKER_03]: That's not like, oh, you send me a photo of your face right now. 32:19.525 --> 32:20.588 [SPEAKER_03]: And I send you a photo of mine. 32:20.628 --> 32:21.750 [SPEAKER_03]: That's like show me your junk. 32:21.770 --> 32:22.312 [SPEAKER_03]: I'll show you mine. 32:23.114 --> 32:24.337 [SPEAKER_03]: So what does that mean? 32:24.357 --> 32:25.539 [SPEAKER_02]: I think it could mean both. 32:25.920 --> 32:32.877 [SPEAKER_02]: OK. And sometimes they'll say, like I can remember here and things like all math what you send. 32:33.076 --> 32:38.985 [SPEAKER_02]: So that's saying, they can be, you know, very g rated. 32:39.426 --> 32:41.169 [SPEAKER_02]: But if you want to go there, let's go there. 32:41.529 --> 32:42.170 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm ready. 32:42.251 --> 32:46.758 [SPEAKER_03]: I feel like somebody's saying, I'll match what you send is then basically saying, that's what they want. 32:46.838 --> 32:50.764 [SPEAKER_03]: I want a dirty photo, but if you don't send me, I won't send you one of mine. 32:50.997 --> 32:51.818 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 32:51.838 --> 32:59.912 [SPEAKER_02]: So what I would say, what I didn't do good then is say, like, actually, I, I loved hang out. 33:00.072 --> 33:02.176 [SPEAKER_02]: Like I'd said, probably send just a regular pick. 33:02.356 --> 33:02.597 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 33:02.617 --> 33:03.398 [SPEAKER_02]: I said, love to hang out. 33:03.458 --> 33:04.640 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't really sent share. 33:04.800 --> 33:07.525 [SPEAKER_02]: And I did start saying as I got older that I don't share news. 33:08.386 --> 33:09.468 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 33:09.488 --> 33:11.131 [SPEAKER_02]: Because it was like, I don't like doing that. 33:11.432 --> 33:12.313 [SPEAKER_02]: Why do I do it? 33:12.293 --> 33:14.076 [SPEAKER_02]: like, you know what I mean? 33:14.276 --> 33:17.201 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, you know, new de-pages, what should I say? 33:18.563 --> 33:20.786 [SPEAKER_02]: With people you don't know very well, provocative. 33:20.826 --> 33:32.985 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's like, I would rather, and just feeling comfortable saying, I would rather meet up first and get to know each other and then after that, I feel more comfortable. 33:32.965 --> 33:52.054 [SPEAKER_02]: I also think it's important like I have a friend who is single and she struggles because sometimes she says she thinks guys only want one thing and I'm like I'm like well what I would like to remind you of is most guys do want that. 33:52.135 --> 33:56.860 [SPEAKER_02]: But you, you to see to find the guy who that's not the only thing that he wants. 33:56.940 --> 34:01.465 [SPEAKER_02]: Because to think of guys like, oh, I'm not going to be interested in this girl sexually. 34:01.545 --> 34:05.389 [SPEAKER_02]: The first thing that most guys are probably drawn to is there. 34:06.770 --> 34:07.971 [SPEAKER_02]: There's a total of tracks. 34:08.212 --> 34:08.732 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but they see. 34:08.752 --> 34:09.613 [SPEAKER_03]: Let's just be honest. 34:09.673 --> 34:15.900 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, yes, and same thing like girls like, like a porn, yeah, you're not attracted to them at all. 34:15.960 --> 34:16.620 [SPEAKER_03]: Right. 34:17.341 --> 34:21.045 [SPEAKER_03]: Chances are you're usually not going to go on a date with them. 34:21.413 --> 34:23.216 [SPEAKER_03]: Now, that's not saying it doesn't ever happen. 34:23.296 --> 34:30.667 [SPEAKER_03]: It does happen with people where you're like, no, you know, like, they're not a bad looking person, but I'm not interested in the office and you get to know them and you're like, oh, I'm very attracted to this myself. 34:31.068 --> 34:35.614 [SPEAKER_03]: But in general, yeah, like people, sex is just a part of it. 34:35.735 --> 34:36.997 [SPEAKER_03]: It was a part of relationships. 34:37.758 --> 34:43.546 [SPEAKER_03]: It's just how aggressive they're being, the other person's being about that being, like, such a priority at the beginning. 34:43.887 --> 34:44.207 [SPEAKER_02]: Right. 34:44.648 --> 34:50.577 [SPEAKER_02]: And I think it's good, like, for, for, unless if that's not what you're looking for, 34:50.557 --> 35:16.007 [SPEAKER_02]: like just hook up and then whatever happens happens then in a as soon as you can set your boundaries like not sending the pigs or just saying I'm more comfortable meeting up first um but I think it is true to say that men and women often times not always actually do relate more with women with what I'm about to say actually are 35:15.987 --> 35:25.706 [SPEAKER_02]: wire differently where a guy can see a girl thinks she's hot and if she would text him and say, hey, I want to come over and he'd be down. 35:25.826 --> 35:33.200 [SPEAKER_02]: We're a girl can see a guy think he's hot, but if he would text her and say, hey, I want to come over and fuck, she's like, oh my god, no, that's not just planning their future. 35:33.441 --> 35:34.603 [SPEAKER_03]: Exactly. 35:34.583 --> 35:35.684 [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm more like that. 35:35.784 --> 35:35.945 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 35:35.965 --> 35:36.946 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm just like, like, I don't know. 35:36.966 --> 35:38.047 [SPEAKER_03]: I wonder if like we go out. 35:38.187 --> 35:38.928 [SPEAKER_03]: We talk. 35:38.968 --> 35:39.990 [SPEAKER_03]: And we have the best time. 35:40.430 --> 35:43.834 [SPEAKER_03]: Think we would get there eventually in our heads of like, when I hope. 35:44.075 --> 35:44.355 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 35:44.375 --> 35:44.815 [SPEAKER_02]: Of course. 35:45.276 --> 35:47.859 [SPEAKER_02]: But you, but it's in line with. 35:48.600 --> 35:50.803 [SPEAKER_02]: The only exact emotions attached to it. 35:50.863 --> 35:53.626 [SPEAKER_02]: So I think it's important for like, I told my friend. 35:54.007 --> 35:56.229 [SPEAKER_02]: Just remember, guys are like that. 35:56.510 --> 35:58.532 [SPEAKER_02]: And if you're looking for a guy who, who. 35:58.799 --> 36:01.383 [SPEAKER_02]: doesn't want to immediately fuck you. 36:01.723 --> 36:12.300 [SPEAKER_02]: Then that might not be a good thing, but you want to find his guy who does want to, but also is so interested in you that he's willing to weigh and respect your boundaries. 36:12.680 --> 36:15.124 [SPEAKER_03]: And you want to guy who wants a relationship and how to fuck buddy. 36:15.705 --> 36:15.805 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 36:15.825 --> 36:17.247 [SPEAKER_03]: Unless you're looking for a fuck buddy. 36:17.227 --> 36:18.188 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, right. 36:18.208 --> 36:19.050 [SPEAKER_03]: You have to know what you're looking for. 36:19.310 --> 36:19.570 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. 36:19.590 --> 36:19.791 [SPEAKER_03]: Wait. 36:19.851 --> 36:23.596 [SPEAKER_03]: So let me let me just, you know, move this conversation still on the same level. 36:24.317 --> 36:24.698 [SPEAKER_03]: So funny. 36:24.718 --> 36:26.240 [SPEAKER_03]: We just keep ending up on these topics. 36:26.260 --> 36:27.722 [SPEAKER_03]: But these are the questions we're getting. 36:27.742 --> 36:28.563 [SPEAKER_03]: So it is what it is. 36:29.264 --> 36:32.489 [SPEAKER_03]: We haven't even done some of the phone friends because they were like, we'll get to him. 36:32.509 --> 36:33.791 [SPEAKER_03]: Eventually, but I was like, oh my gosh. 36:33.851 --> 36:36.474 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, we need to pause on this topic for a month. 36:37.556 --> 36:38.357 [SPEAKER_03]: So. 36:38.337 --> 36:56.650 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm 45 you're 40 as I'm right now like we get a lot of people writing in that have gone through divorces or back in the dating world we it's not like we're getting a bunch of 20 year olds I don't think so but but what in your opinion like what are the right time frames for like I'm gonna really age myself 36:57.035 --> 36:58.558 [SPEAKER_03]: First base, second base, third base. 36:59.299 --> 37:03.227 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, well, for the listeners, because I need a clarification of what that is. 37:03.247 --> 37:06.513 [SPEAKER_03]: If you don't know what that is, first base is kissing making out. 37:07.615 --> 37:09.679 [SPEAKER_03]: Second is up the shirt. 37:11.362 --> 37:14.368 [SPEAKER_03]: Third is down the pants. 37:14.888 --> 37:17.151 [SPEAKER_03]: be at hands and or oral. 37:17.632 --> 37:18.012 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. 37:18.112 --> 37:19.614 [SPEAKER_03]: This, this is my understanding. 37:19.634 --> 37:22.258 [SPEAKER_03]: So I've always looked at gay bases might be a little bit different. 37:22.278 --> 37:26.644 [SPEAKER_03]: And then home run is, I mean, I think it's be sure to sell, but then there's a grand slam. 37:26.704 --> 37:31.750 [SPEAKER_02]: Part, what part is the grand slam? 37:31.810 --> 37:34.534 [SPEAKER_03]: I guess that's if you want to give the bag time. 37:34.514 --> 37:36.797 [SPEAKER_02]: All right, I love it. 37:36.877 --> 37:43.326 [SPEAKER_02]: So anyway, I'll take the moons over my hammy. 37:43.406 --> 37:45.189 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what it is, but it sounds disgusting. 37:45.790 --> 37:47.592 [SPEAKER_02]: It sounds nasty like me. 37:50.857 --> 37:55.543 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so for an I think in gay world, this second base would be 37:55.523 --> 37:59.108 [SPEAKER_02]: feeling down the pants, like 30, you don't have to be oral. 37:59.369 --> 38:01.972 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, that makes sense. 38:02.934 --> 38:04.696 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, because you don't have an up the shirt to go. 38:04.716 --> 38:05.998 [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I can't. 38:06.018 --> 38:09.603 [SPEAKER_02]: But what you're gonna make my nipples hard. 38:09.623 --> 38:13.549 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, but so what are your time for what would be your right? 38:13.569 --> 38:15.692 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, so for a make out. 38:16.077 --> 38:21.344 [SPEAKER_03]: kiss on the first date, don't kiss on the first date, how many dates before you're all of a sudden stuck in the friend zone? 38:21.745 --> 38:29.075 [SPEAKER_02]: If, right, well, you know what, I was not good when I was on the dating scene at like, no, actually, came in hot. 38:29.415 --> 38:30.877 [SPEAKER_02]: The first time we hung out with it. 38:30.897 --> 38:31.378 [SPEAKER_02]: That tracks. 38:31.398 --> 38:32.940 [SPEAKER_02]: You see, wet kiss, yes. 38:33.480 --> 38:34.682 [SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, okay. 38:35.443 --> 38:40.650 [SPEAKER_02]: And the first time we hung out, the, I'm pretty sure was the first night we hung out. 38:41.091 --> 38:44.295 [SPEAKER_02]: And, remember, he was just in town and his friend was with him. 38:44.866 --> 38:51.766 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh yeah, yeah, so he, um, I pulled up to drop them off at the hotel. 38:51.826 --> 38:53.912 [SPEAKER_02]: They were staying at. 38:53.933 --> 38:54.454 [SPEAKER_02]: And 38:55.058 --> 38:57.000 [SPEAKER_03]: You guys have been talking for months. 38:57.020 --> 39:02.146 [SPEAKER_02]: We've been talking, but it was one of those things like we were talking and flirting, but we had never hung out in person. 39:02.186 --> 39:02.526 [SPEAKER_02]: I understand. 39:02.546 --> 39:10.455 [SPEAKER_02]: And so you never know what the chemistry is going to be, and we both just very open to being great friends if it wasn't there, whatever. 39:10.495 --> 39:12.397 [SPEAKER_02]: And I couldn't read him. 39:12.457 --> 39:13.599 [SPEAKER_02]: I remember that. 39:13.639 --> 39:13.739 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 39:14.159 --> 39:17.623 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if he likes me. 39:17.603 --> 39:32.355 [SPEAKER_02]: but then he told his friend he was like I'll see you in the inside and I was like oh and then his friend got out of the car and he just leaned in and laid it on me like a really nice sweet we didn't like make out okay but it was definitely a very 39:33.331 --> 39:35.655 [SPEAKER_02]: intimate kiss on the first day. 39:35.695 --> 39:36.577 [SPEAKER_02]: And I think that's great. 39:37.479 --> 39:38.461 [SPEAKER_02]: But we've been talking from. 39:38.521 --> 39:42.729 [SPEAKER_03]: I was going to say, but that was first day after talking for months because you guys lived on opposite sides of the country. 39:43.791 --> 39:46.095 [SPEAKER_03]: Far, um, opposite as you can get. 39:46.316 --> 39:46.556 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 39:47.097 --> 39:48.640 [SPEAKER_03]: But if you're, 39:48.788 --> 39:55.417 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, we met on the app or we met in person or we met at work and you talk a few times whatever it is. 39:55.477 --> 39:57.560 [SPEAKER_03]: And then it's like, hey, you want to go for dinner. 39:58.421 --> 40:01.866 [SPEAKER_03]: Personally, I'm like, we're, you're in your 40s. 40:01.906 --> 40:02.867 [SPEAKER_03]: If you want to kiss kiss. 40:03.388 --> 40:03.709 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes. 40:04.329 --> 40:05.010 [SPEAKER_03]: But you don't have to. 40:05.071 --> 40:08.816 [SPEAKER_03]: But like, I don't think there's anything wrong with a kiss on a first date or reading the date with the kiss. 40:08.896 --> 40:11.259 [SPEAKER_03]: If the chemistry and attraction is there. 40:11.600 --> 40:11.840 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 40:12.661 --> 40:17.007 [SPEAKER_02]: I had a, I, I went on a date with someone. 40:17.948 --> 40:20.852 [SPEAKER_02]: I think this is pre-pandemic. 40:20.873 --> 40:27.683 [SPEAKER_02]: And he said, I don't see the end of the first day or the second time we hung out. 40:27.783 --> 40:29.546 [SPEAKER_02]: No, the first time we hung out, we met for coffee. 40:29.566 --> 40:30.608 [SPEAKER_02]: It was nice, we just hugged. 40:30.648 --> 40:31.709 [SPEAKER_02]: There were no kiss or anything. 40:32.150 --> 40:34.153 [SPEAKER_02]: The next time we hung out, I think we went to a movie. 40:34.734 --> 40:36.717 [SPEAKER_02]: And then I... 40:37.270 --> 40:39.112 [SPEAKER_02]: takes him up and drove and I drove him back to his house. 40:39.192 --> 40:41.795 [SPEAKER_02]: And he said, do I have your consent to kiss you? 40:41.815 --> 40:42.555 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, God. 40:42.656 --> 40:43.857 [SPEAKER_03]: No, you don't. 40:44.237 --> 40:45.539 [SPEAKER_03]: Absolutely not. 40:45.559 --> 40:46.820 [SPEAKER_02]: I actually liked it. 40:47.080 --> 40:47.861 [SPEAKER_02]: What? 40:47.881 --> 40:54.388 [SPEAKER_02]: Because you know that it's so awkward when you're like, that moment we're like, darling in first place. 40:54.408 --> 40:55.249 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, that's the fun. 40:55.309 --> 40:56.089 [SPEAKER_03]: The intense. 40:56.149 --> 40:56.750 [SPEAKER_03]: Are we doing this? 40:56.810 --> 40:57.631 [SPEAKER_03]: Are we not doing this? 40:57.911 --> 40:58.932 [SPEAKER_03]: Do I have your consent to kiss you? 40:59.113 --> 41:03.497 [SPEAKER_03]: That's like that couple you sent me on Instagram literally makes you want to crawl out of my skin. 41:04.355 --> 41:07.379 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, so I don't sense me these videos. 41:07.800 --> 41:11.625 [SPEAKER_03]: This couple on Instagram and I don't know it's one of them An actual like couple therapists or something. 41:11.765 --> 41:12.146 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know. 41:12.206 --> 41:31.712 [SPEAKER_03]: I first I thought it was very serious But the lot I said you the one I said you last time was like they can't be serious these things are so cringe That I was like if this is your relationship Get out and it was like The husband would come up to the wife and and the once you send me the guy is always acting more like 41:32.418 --> 41:42.411 [SPEAKER_03]: Like more fat than an energy I guess than the woman and he'd be like like me the one and he came up to her and he was like you know that thing we did last night and she's like yeah and he's like I didn't feel it. 41:43.673 --> 41:51.844 [SPEAKER_03]: She's like okay tell me why tell me why you know son to try but it's just all my thing and she's like okay thank you for sharing. 41:51.993 --> 41:58.782 [SPEAKER_03]: Or no, the one you said me, where he was like, when did he say like, let's go, let's get naked and cuddle and bad. 41:58.883 --> 41:59.463 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh yeah. 41:59.523 --> 42:00.725 [SPEAKER_03]: He said, do you want to cuddle and bad? 42:00.745 --> 42:02.447 [SPEAKER_03]: And she said, what kind of cuddle do you want? 42:03.269 --> 42:04.150 [SPEAKER_03]: Or something like that? 42:04.430 --> 42:04.971 [SPEAKER_03]: What was it? 42:05.291 --> 42:09.377 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and he was like, uh, naked, but let's get a talk for a while. 42:09.397 --> 42:10.599 [SPEAKER_03]: We haven't connected. 42:10.619 --> 42:11.820 [SPEAKER_03]: And I'm like, it's not that though. 42:12.081 --> 42:13.022 [SPEAKER_03]: It wasn't. 42:13.002 --> 42:14.625 [SPEAKER_03]: I thought that wouldn't be a sweet thing. 42:14.645 --> 42:21.177 [SPEAKER_02]: Anyways, these videos, you just- The way they say it, because I might say it now, like, let's get naked and get in this bed or something. 42:21.377 --> 42:24.403 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, and it does, it, like, I, I don't know if I would say that. 42:24.423 --> 42:31.756 [SPEAKER_02]: I've never said that before, but it just feels so like transactional, like you're having a business meeting with a co-worker the way they talk. 42:32.077 --> 42:33.880 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I've definitely said, 42:34.332 --> 42:47.177 [SPEAKER_03]: Um, plenty of times in my ex, like, when I, like, if we hadn't seen each other in a few days and stuff, like, and if there was Plurdy text going back and forth, I would, I would make sure he knew, like, hey, just so you know, I need. 42:47.579 --> 42:49.143 [SPEAKER_03]: I need a little bubble time. 42:49.403 --> 42:53.553 [SPEAKER_03]: Like that's how we always were like, I need some bonding before my time. 42:53.834 --> 42:56.299 [SPEAKER_03]: Like I'm down, like super down for the play. 42:56.941 --> 42:58.023 [SPEAKER_03]: But I need a minute to connect. 42:58.304 --> 42:59.407 [SPEAKER_03]: He'd think, yeah, no, same. 42:59.507 --> 43:05.942 [SPEAKER_03]: And I'm like, okay, so then when he would come over, we would have a little time talking, catching up, just being present with each other. 43:06.023 --> 43:10.390 [SPEAKER_03]: then, great, it would be so hot because we were, you had that, right. 43:10.490 --> 43:13.996 [SPEAKER_03]: Because some, like, because there had been a few times we're like, oh, okay, we haven't seen each other. 43:14.036 --> 43:16.260 [SPEAKER_03]: We'd be having fun talking. 43:17.102 --> 43:18.063 [SPEAKER_03]: So he's riled up. 43:19.185 --> 43:21.569 [SPEAKER_03]: I've been very much given the impression that I'm riled up. 43:21.589 --> 43:25.476 [SPEAKER_03]: He comes in hot and I'm like, wait, I just don't feel connected and this doesn't feel as, yeah. 43:25.676 --> 43:32.267 [SPEAKER_03]: Didn't feel bad or anything, but you know, I just didn't feel like as into it because I'm like, I wanna also talk. 43:33.091 --> 43:33.532 [SPEAKER_02]: totally. 43:33.552 --> 43:37.179 [SPEAKER_03]: But anyways, so I'm like, okay, go ahead. 43:37.199 --> 43:42.048 [SPEAKER_02]: So I think like to that point, I think the only way, I think asking is kind of cool. 43:42.108 --> 43:48.180 [SPEAKER_02]: If you want to, it's like, can I say, like, if a guy that you're into looks you and says, can I kiss you? 43:49.291 --> 43:50.333 [SPEAKER_03]: I guess it depends. 43:50.494 --> 43:52.057 [SPEAKER_03]: It's all gonna come down to circumstances. 43:52.177 --> 43:54.823 [SPEAKER_03]: It's gonna be how into this dude, am I? 43:54.843 --> 43:55.003 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 43:55.745 --> 44:03.421 [SPEAKER_03]: If I'm dying for him to kiss me, I'm just gonna melt and be like, yes, I'm a little on the fence as it is. 44:03.481 --> 44:04.643 [SPEAKER_03]: You better just shoot your shot. 44:06.066 --> 44:06.507 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 44:07.195 --> 44:19.074 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, but on the flip side of that, like let's say he's being a gentleman and like you're two or three dates in and he hasn't made move are you at the point of your just oh we're just cool, we're buddy buddy, we're friends. 44:19.275 --> 44:30.553 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, I have a friend who totally went through that and I was like, this dude is either gay or like something you're going to have to. 44:30.601 --> 44:36.948 [SPEAKER_02]: put it on him because I don't know what like after the third date so not kissing, that's weird. 44:37.128 --> 44:41.733 [SPEAKER_02]: If you're actually interested, yeah, you know, it's confusing. 44:41.753 --> 44:45.036 [SPEAKER_03]: Like what are we doing if you're three in and you we haven't kissed at all. 44:46.137 --> 44:46.378 [SPEAKER_03]: Right. 44:46.438 --> 44:48.560 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm just assuming we're in the front zone. 44:48.600 --> 44:53.045 [SPEAKER_03]: Which five we can hang out all you want, but like don't be surprised if I'm on on a date or something else. 44:53.065 --> 44:54.546 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I'm assuming we're not on a date. 44:54.586 --> 44:55.447 [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know that was this. 44:55.527 --> 44:56.609 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, like I can't tell. 44:57.069 --> 44:57.369 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. 44:58.310 --> 44:58.971 [SPEAKER_03]: Second base. 44:59.710 --> 45:01.292 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I have a question before I move on. 45:01.313 --> 45:04.798 [SPEAKER_02]: Have you has anyone ever went in for a kiss and you dodged it? 45:05.379 --> 45:05.880 [SPEAKER_03]: Yes. 45:06.741 --> 45:07.062 [SPEAKER_03]: Yes. 45:07.743 --> 45:08.223 [SPEAKER_02]: How do you do it? 45:08.243 --> 45:13.452 [SPEAKER_02]: Just back up like, whoa, and I, when I've done it, I just always give the teak. 45:13.632 --> 45:18.259 [SPEAKER_03]: I was going to say, I think I just sort of gave the, like, not there hasn't been many times. 45:19.623 --> 45:37.995 [SPEAKER_03]: one guy in college like I just the way for the day to be over and he came in for it and same thing I barely I think he came in for it and I barely let him give me like a pack and then when he called or texted and I said I'm just not that in like I'm you know just not feeling it and he said why did you let me kiss you and I was like I felt obligated and I let you pack me on the lips. 45:38.396 --> 45:39.538 [SPEAKER_03]: Right. 45:39.518 --> 45:40.521 [SPEAKER_03]: that was like the end of that one. 45:41.764 --> 45:44.733 [SPEAKER_03]: But no, normally I'll just go in for the hug with the turn of the head. 45:45.655 --> 45:48.062 [SPEAKER_03]: But it's been a long time. 45:48.162 --> 45:50.288 [SPEAKER_03]: So since I've had to worry about that. 45:50.429 --> 45:51.913 [SPEAKER_03]: So yeah, okay. 45:52.093 --> 45:53.818 [SPEAKER_03]: But I would just turn my head probably in. 45:53.878 --> 45:54.540 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 45:54.757 --> 46:03.809 [SPEAKER_02]: I give the tea the cheek and it usually was like some random drunk person in West Hollywood that for some reason, like, we weren't even on a date when that would happen. 46:04.190 --> 46:13.782 [SPEAKER_02]: Because if I'm interested enough to be there on a date and it goes well enough where you think I might be into a kiss, probably I would have, yeah, like what's on a big deal. 46:13.822 --> 46:22.654 [SPEAKER_03]: You're going to know with me if we're on a date, not like I'm not saying I'm being like, but like my body language is going to be very good for it, yes. 46:22.634 --> 46:24.617 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so second base. 46:24.877 --> 46:25.138 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. 46:25.659 --> 46:46.451 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's the roping the feeling the feeling the touchy I feel like that I feel like it's hard for me to speak because I think that is different for straight people Okay, because when you got boobs You know, it's not much for a guy to be kissing you and all sudden gravity or something It's so funny because like again at 45. 46:46.671 --> 46:47.713 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm like 46:47.795 --> 46:52.324 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know, like maybe your 20s are like, I'm hot in it. 46:52.344 --> 46:53.165 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm feeling a boob. 46:53.185 --> 46:55.510 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, but like now it's like right. 46:55.550 --> 47:04.567 [SPEAKER_02]: And if someone reaches their hand down my pants, that's like, you know, you're, you don't just stop there. 47:04.587 --> 47:06.811 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, you know what I mean? 47:06.831 --> 47:08.875 [SPEAKER_02]: Like what what it was happening here. 47:09.547 --> 47:10.649 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, you probably have to. 47:10.709 --> 47:16.599 [SPEAKER_03]: I feel like it's sort of like a jump from a first base to home run meaning Great. 47:16.619 --> 47:17.381 [SPEAKER_03]: We go on a few dates. 47:17.621 --> 47:23.912 [SPEAKER_03]: We make out a few times and then if I'm bad into you Yeah, we're probably getting to the good stuff sooner than later. 47:23.972 --> 47:24.634 [SPEAKER_02]: Right. 47:25.094 --> 47:28.320 [SPEAKER_03]: But I will say Holding out waiting continuing it. 47:28.340 --> 47:29.462 [SPEAKER_03]: Do you know somebody? 47:30.455 --> 47:34.480 [SPEAKER_03]: Before you jump to that, always leads to better outcomes. 47:35.301 --> 47:38.205 [SPEAKER_03]: It makes the end of Missy better like when you get to it. 47:38.265 --> 47:43.251 [SPEAKER_03]: Probably better, like you probably have a better chance with the relationship, your face is giving no. 47:43.272 --> 47:48.719 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if I fully agree, although no, and I like that is true. 47:48.799 --> 47:53.745 [SPEAKER_02]: Because remember, I know came and he was here as first time with 47:53.725 --> 47:54.506 [SPEAKER_02]: his friend. 47:54.866 --> 47:56.969 [SPEAKER_02]: And then he extended his fly. 47:57.049 --> 47:59.211 [SPEAKER_02]: And so he stayed with me for two nights on the end of the trip. 47:59.572 --> 48:00.853 [SPEAKER_02]: So that's just for the listener. 48:00.913 --> 48:02.675 [SPEAKER_02]: He wasn't saying with me, but then he did. 48:02.735 --> 48:06.039 [SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, okay, we've been kissing every night that he's here. 48:06.119 --> 48:12.187 [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to at least like cuddle and make out and be a little bit more intimate. 48:12.267 --> 48:14.910 [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't necessarily think we were going to have sex. 48:15.651 --> 48:17.413 [SPEAKER_02]: But that's different. 48:17.433 --> 48:18.414 [SPEAKER_02]: It wasn't like that. 48:19.395 --> 48:22.078 [SPEAKER_02]: I know that he was in my bed. 48:22.700 --> 48:32.856 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but there was like, anyway, to your point, I'm just saying that would be proof of your point that you're saying, but I also have a theory that sometimes people move too slow. 48:32.916 --> 48:39.787 [SPEAKER_02]: And if you're into somebody, just you only live once, like if you're feeling the vibe, go for it. 48:39.867 --> 48:40.248 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know. 48:40.548 --> 48:44.414 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, the last person I did, it was almost two months before we slept together. 48:44.454 --> 48:47.159 [SPEAKER_03]: Not before we fooled around, but two months before we slept together. 48:47.559 --> 48:47.780 [SPEAKER_02]: Right. 48:48.280 --> 48:48.741 [SPEAKER_03]: But 48:49.531 --> 48:55.638 [SPEAKER_03]: There was a time, years ago, there was a guy I was dating, I'll just say his name, nobody's gonna know who the fuck it is, Kyle, remember? 48:56.418 --> 49:01.364 [SPEAKER_03]: And so like, took forever for us to hang out, finally hung out, went over watch TV, all this stuff. 49:01.724 --> 49:05.308 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, passed out on the couch because it was like so late, we were watching TV. 49:06.149 --> 49:09.452 [SPEAKER_03]: And I, like the move, like I fell asleep during the movie we were watching. 49:10.173 --> 49:11.975 [SPEAKER_03]: It was served, but I was working a lot at the time. 49:12.776 --> 49:16.500 [SPEAKER_03]: And, it's got, like, he was a good looking guy. 49:17.341 --> 49:19.622 [SPEAKER_03]: I was super into him, pretty sure he was gay now. 49:20.041 --> 49:24.785 [SPEAKER_03]: But anyways, I woke up, you know, like, like, movie ends and, like, he kind of nudged me. 49:24.805 --> 49:26.527 [SPEAKER_03]: And I was like, oh shit, I'm so sorry, I fell asleep. 49:27.207 --> 49:28.909 [SPEAKER_03]: And I like, put my shoes on and he's like, what are you doing? 49:28.929 --> 49:30.050 [SPEAKER_03]: And I was like, I'm gonna go. 49:30.290 --> 49:32.032 [SPEAKER_03]: He's like, you're not driving home at two in the morning. 49:32.512 --> 49:34.454 [SPEAKER_03]: And I was like, I'm not having sex with you. 49:34.554 --> 49:36.436 [SPEAKER_03]: And he's like, I didn't say anything about sex. 49:36.876 --> 49:38.177 [SPEAKER_03]: And he's like, you're not driving home. 49:38.418 --> 49:45.023 [SPEAKER_03]: And he's like, you're spending that at, and I was like, no, and then he's like, I'll sleep on the couch, y'all's like, you're not sleeping on the couch, like this is ridiculous. 49:45.044 --> 49:50.048 [SPEAKER_03]: So if I went as room, and I went to get in bed fully dressed and he's 49:50.028 --> 49:59.422 [SPEAKER_03]: getting in bed and he's like with jeans on and I was like I'm not getting naked in your bed and he's like I'm not sleeping next to somebody gave me like a t-shirt. 50:00.223 --> 50:00.563 [SPEAKER_03]: So fine. 50:00.583 --> 50:05.871 [SPEAKER_03]: I slept in his t-shirt like with obviously my bra and on to wear on and nothing happened. 50:05.931 --> 50:18.870 [SPEAKER_03]: We did just cuddle and that was it we ended up dating for a little while so that progressed but okay so that how how long had you been 50:18.985 --> 50:20.748 [SPEAKER_03]: We had, he worked out at the gym. 50:21.368 --> 50:22.550 [SPEAKER_03]: So I would see him at the gym a lot. 50:23.111 --> 50:25.154 [SPEAKER_03]: We would text him onto a blue moon. 50:26.296 --> 50:28.038 [SPEAKER_03]: And then randomly, one idea invited me over. 50:28.098 --> 50:30.622 [SPEAKER_02]: Hmm. 50:30.642 --> 50:35.910 [SPEAKER_02]: And how long after that, until you guys looked up? 50:36.691 --> 50:39.195 [SPEAKER_03]: Probably like a few more dates. 50:40.356 --> 50:42.259 [SPEAKER_03]: Probably like two or three more dates. 50:42.712 --> 51:09.495 [SPEAKER_03]: Was there spinning understand there was no forking what was there was no forking that night and actually was I just it's a funny story because I remember going to the gym the next day and telling my girlfriend and her boyfriend who both worked at the gym too And I was like, okay, yeah, nice went the night and they're like, oh, and I'm like, no nothing happened And I was like, but at one point like he rolled over and we spooning me and I was like, got his arms digging into my back and then I was like, that's not his arm 51:09.475 --> 51:33.205 [SPEAKER_03]: Wow, and my girlfriend's boyfriend made the joke like, you know, we quote movie lines and so he's like So like I was like the running joke about him was like, that's not so much of like, well, wow So yeah, I was like, God, this was like a baby's heart You okay? 51:33.488 --> 51:38.596 [SPEAKER_03]: Back then, like, as he's attracted to me. 51:38.616 --> 51:41.921 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I wonder if that was like a little. 51:41.941 --> 51:44.946 [SPEAKER_02]: I wonder if he was feeling you out. 51:44.966 --> 51:48.572 [SPEAKER_03]: No, because I really think he was just sleeping. 51:48.712 --> 51:51.637 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, I think he was in the closet. 51:52.138 --> 51:52.999 [SPEAKER_02]: I would have beard. 51:53.823 --> 51:59.451 [SPEAKER_03]: Well, like I think he would he like a lot of gay people still have sex with girls Well, and we did a bunch. 51:59.511 --> 52:15.654 [SPEAKER_03]: There was definitely things that like while we were dating came out that I was like This could be as you have any helpful nuggets to throw on this side dish because some people might wonder if their boyfriend's gay Well, for a while, he wouldn't tell me where he worked like he just said he was a bartender and I always thought that was a little weird And then I just remember one day. 52:15.694 --> 52:18.278 [SPEAKER_03]: I was like, why do I feel like I know where you work? 52:18.713 --> 52:24.322 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know what about it, like, and he's like, I don't know, do you know what I was like, do you work at the Abbey? 52:24.342 --> 52:27.648 [SPEAKER_03]: And he's like, yeah, I get great tips. 52:28.729 --> 52:30.993 [SPEAKER_03]: And Abbey is like the gayest gay bar here. 52:31.233 --> 52:31.794 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 52:32.075 --> 52:32.816 [SPEAKER_03]: We're not in LA. 52:33.377 --> 52:33.798 [SPEAKER_03]: In LA. 52:34.699 --> 52:36.242 [SPEAKER_03]: But a lot of straight people do work there. 52:36.402 --> 52:38.926 [SPEAKER_03]: I understand, but this is like, he's like military. 52:39.066 --> 52:40.529 [SPEAKER_03]: His dad was military. 52:40.689 --> 52:43.894 [SPEAKER_03]: Like his family was all military, like. 52:44.583 --> 52:50.211 [SPEAKER_03]: I feel like there was a very, like I was brought to the sister's wedding, but, oh, this is terrible. 52:50.532 --> 52:52.695 [SPEAKER_03]: This is how I knew that we were done. 52:53.296 --> 52:54.377 [SPEAKER_03]: Took me to the sister's wedding. 52:54.417 --> 52:58.724 [SPEAKER_03]: He wasn't really, he was picking on me a lot of the sister's wedding, which was weird. 52:58.824 --> 53:08.978 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, he was just making me uncomfortable of like, not putting me down mean, but just like a little like off compared to how he had treated me for the couple months leading up to it. 53:09.860 --> 53:12.143 [SPEAKER_03]: And then we were watching TV, 53:12.190 --> 53:14.095 [SPEAKER_03]: We were watching a movie in the hotel room. 53:14.135 --> 53:19.470 [SPEAKER_03]: And it was, oh god, it was like the boxing movie. 53:20.614 --> 53:24.284 [SPEAKER_03]: We're the dad and his son are bonding it and they keep boxes robots. 53:25.267 --> 53:27.212 [SPEAKER_03]: Huge astounding and huge jackman. 53:28.441 --> 53:30.704 [SPEAKER_02]: And we're like, what, like, he picked the movie. 53:30.724 --> 53:32.847 [SPEAKER_02]: What year are we talking, like, roughly? 53:33.648 --> 53:37.614 [SPEAKER_03]: Hmm, 2012, but not, that doesn't home and try to figure out the movie. 53:37.914 --> 53:45.184 [SPEAKER_03]: But anyways, bottom, bottom line is I'm pretty sure he got turned on watching Hugh Jackman, because then he was like ready to go. 53:45.585 --> 53:47.848 [SPEAKER_03]: But it was definitely in positions where he could still see the TV. 53:47.868 --> 53:52.554 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know, it was like, like, what's going on right now? 53:52.895 --> 53:53.976 [SPEAKER_03]: No, literally, I was like, 53:53.956 --> 53:58.661 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh god, I think I'm pretty sure on the beard. 53:58.701 --> 54:00.463 [SPEAKER_02]: So the biggest thing was... 54:00.483 --> 54:01.364 [SPEAKER_03]: So we bring up after that. 54:01.404 --> 54:03.446 [SPEAKER_03]: Like I got home, got my car and laughed and was done. 54:04.106 --> 54:05.268 [SPEAKER_02]: Did you tell him why? 54:06.269 --> 54:09.812 [SPEAKER_03]: Uh, well, it was mostly because the way he treated me that weekend. 54:09.872 --> 54:10.893 [SPEAKER_03]: He wasn't giving up. 54:10.933 --> 54:11.334 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that was true. 54:11.354 --> 54:14.337 [SPEAKER_03]: That was pretty pissed at the way he was behaving. 54:16.559 --> 54:16.639 [SPEAKER_03]: Hmm. 54:16.659 --> 54:18.441 [SPEAKER_03]: And then I flat out asked him if he was gay. 54:18.481 --> 54:21.184 [SPEAKER_03]: And he was like, nope, he blasted me that all the time. 54:21.204 --> 54:22.225 [SPEAKER_03]: And I was like, well... 54:22.424 --> 54:39.124 [SPEAKER_03]: probably another indicator if I'm not the only one thinking it by the way I'm the one you're stupid you like there were things to there were certain things during sex that bothered him that wouldn't bother I'm not saying these graphic. 54:39.144 --> 54:40.846 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my god I wanted to know. 54:40.906 --> 54:42.909 [SPEAKER_02]: I'll tell you privately. 54:43.389 --> 54:44.491 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay I'll tell you guys later. 54:44.531 --> 54:52.060 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm still trying to find the movie I'm typing but yeah 54:52.478 --> 55:04.874 [SPEAKER_01]: Uh, I can't type with my left hand, where I think it's Hugh Jackman real steel real steel. 55:05.034 --> 55:10.401 [SPEAKER_03]: We were watching real steel and let me tell you he has some real steel going on for sure. 55:10.441 --> 55:19.313 [SPEAKER_02]: For me, for Hugh, I mean, Jackman, let me tell you there's not a movie song that he's 55:19.293 --> 55:21.195 [SPEAKER_03]: Anything else we need to cover on this topic? 55:21.235 --> 55:21.716 [SPEAKER_03]: What's right? 55:21.756 --> 55:22.277 [SPEAKER_03]: What's wrong? 55:22.317 --> 55:23.258 [SPEAKER_03]: What's right please? 55:23.498 --> 55:30.046 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't personally believe in morality constructs about when you should or shouldn't do any of that stuff. 55:30.066 --> 55:35.593 [SPEAKER_02]: But I do think that you should just move at the pace you like and we should feel more comfortable communicating it. 55:35.613 --> 55:38.837 [SPEAKER_02]: Which is something I think I'm so passionate about that because I've never been comfortable. 55:39.438 --> 55:45.385 [SPEAKER_02]: I've always kind of felt, but now it's different in a relationship, but being when I was single. 55:45.365 --> 55:55.252 [SPEAKER_02]: and dating or dating people new, my experience with Nell has been so different because we moved in right away after deciding we wanted to be together. 55:55.793 --> 55:56.455 [SPEAKER_02]: But 55:56.789 --> 56:06.784 [SPEAKER_02]: I have done a lot of things because I thought I was supposed to, or it's what the other person wanted me to do. 56:06.804 --> 56:17.059 [SPEAKER_02]: So now I'm such an advocate for if you want to get your freak on, if you want to, all the things do all the things do it as fast as you want, but don't do it because you feel pressured too. 56:17.039 --> 56:35.166 [SPEAKER_03]: agreed definitely don't do it because you feel pressured to and yeah I just think I would say protect yourself and buy that like protect your emotions like there's probably certain questions you should ask if like you know like if they're in a relationship are they dating other people 56:35.804 --> 56:36.144 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 56:36.705 --> 56:42.951 [SPEAKER_03]: You know, like just based on what you want, you should know what you want out of it and have the appropriate conversations. 56:43.451 --> 56:44.012 [SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely. 56:44.052 --> 56:49.257 [SPEAKER_03]: They're needed to be had, if you're again, if you're just looking for a fling and you don't give brass ass about it, then fine. 56:49.317 --> 56:49.677 [SPEAKER_03]: Do you? 56:49.898 --> 56:50.198 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 56:51.179 --> 56:56.044 [SPEAKER_03]: And also I think if you've got something that should be shared, then you need to be upfront and honest about that. 56:56.484 --> 56:57.125 [SPEAKER_03]: Totally. 56:57.145 --> 56:59.947 [SPEAKER_03]: Just so that the other person knows what they're getting themselves into. 57:00.068 --> 57:00.328 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 57:00.848 --> 57:02.410 [SPEAKER_03]: Like you said, it comes down to communication. 57:02.430 --> 57:03.651 [SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely. 57:03.833 --> 57:09.320 [SPEAKER_03]: But for our person that wrote in, I think she should do whatever she's comfortable with. 57:09.880 --> 57:14.305 [SPEAKER_03]: I think again, it's been some of the guy lives nearby or doesn't, and what she wants from it. 57:14.386 --> 57:15.687 [SPEAKER_03]: But like, have fun. 57:15.747 --> 57:16.888 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, have fun. 57:17.089 --> 57:20.252 [SPEAKER_03]: I would say, as long as you're having fun, you'll know when you're not. 57:20.373 --> 57:26.700 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, you'll know, like, if you start doing something and you're like, I'm really uncomfortable and this isn't fun, like, I don't wanna send this, but I feel like, then don't send it. 57:26.940 --> 57:28.322 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, 100%. 57:28.302 --> 57:52.000 [SPEAKER_02]: And when it comes to photos and stuff like that, just no, I just remember, like, uh, sometimes we play if I would always play a fairy tale in my head about like what this was or what the person who the person was and their choices are not or they're playing it with other people and I can't even mad at it because we're just texting, but in my little made up world, someone's given me a lot of attention, they're into me sexually, they want to share. 57:52.020 --> 57:55.626 [SPEAKER_02]: And so when I would do that, it feels intimate and it's like, 57:55.606 --> 57:58.692 [SPEAKER_02]: you'd have no idea how one sided that experiences. 57:58.732 --> 58:01.336 [SPEAKER_02]: And so once you send something, it's out there. 58:01.537 --> 58:01.777 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 58:01.797 --> 58:04.122 [SPEAKER_02]: You're vulnerable in getting it back. 58:04.222 --> 58:06.987 [SPEAKER_02]: And don't know that person no matter how much you think you do. 58:07.508 --> 58:09.191 [SPEAKER_02]: But that's okay if it's okay. 58:09.652 --> 58:13.318 [SPEAKER_02]: But just know that, you know, just because you think, oh my god, he's so sweet. 58:13.338 --> 58:14.180 [SPEAKER_02]: He's not like anyone else. 58:14.220 --> 58:17.827 [SPEAKER_02]: If you haven't met him yet, or if you've only met him a couple of times. 58:17.887 --> 58:19.690 [SPEAKER_03]: Or if you know him forever. 58:19.838 --> 58:39.636 [SPEAKER_02]: That part, you know, he's never fucking about just they could just fucking shock you any day That's true Anyway, I don't know if that was helpful at all Basically we support you no matter what you do basically we say have fun exactly live your life enjoy 58:39.616 --> 58:51.389 [SPEAKER_02]: And if you like this kind of advice, we give on an educate all over the place, we're talking about our experiences as if they've made it as if they were successful. 58:51.610 --> 58:54.638 [SPEAKER_01]: As if we're winning. 58:54.618 --> 59:16.086 [SPEAKER_02]: But send us your phone a friend's we and it can be about anything we got a lot of relationship ones and I guess that makes sense because a big part of life is figuring out different Kind of relationships, but you can send us any kind of phone a friend you got the juicier the better because that's fun sometimes That's the problem is you keep saying the juicier the better and that's all gonna be the dirty sex relationship stuff But you know 59:16.066 --> 59:18.712 [SPEAKER_03]: Then a nutrition health expert over here. 59:18.772 --> 59:22.461 [SPEAKER_03]: Well, this coach, you ask us about it work. 59:23.223 --> 59:25.087 [SPEAKER_03]: I wonder how many times my head has been chopped off. 59:25.287 --> 59:26.069 [SPEAKER_02]: I've been looking. 59:26.370 --> 59:26.931 [SPEAKER_02]: I've been looking. 59:26.951 --> 59:29.317 [SPEAKER_02]: Your head's not been chopped off. 59:29.337 --> 59:31.001 [SPEAKER_02]: But this is a makeshift studio. 59:31.041 --> 59:31.983 [SPEAKER_03]: Seriously, close. 59:32.043 --> 59:34.108 [SPEAKER_03]: You could have told me to shift my left. 59:34.088 --> 59:36.353 [SPEAKER_02]: I want it to be this time. 59:37.315 --> 59:37.696 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like. 59:37.936 --> 59:39.339 [SPEAKER_03]: You think you know somebody. 59:39.359 --> 59:40.902 [SPEAKER_03]: He's been right around. 59:41.283 --> 59:42.406 [SPEAKER_03]: It's probably people dizzy. 59:42.426 --> 59:48.879 [SPEAKER_03]: Anywho, you can email us at everything's perfect podcast at gmail.com or follow us on Instagram. 59:49.040 --> 59:49.601 [SPEAKER_02]: That's right. 59:49.661 --> 59:51.104 [SPEAKER_02]: Everything's perfect official. 59:52.046 --> 59:54.832 [SPEAKER_02]: And we'll see you guys next week. 59:54.852 --> 59:54.932 [UNKNOWN]: Bye.