[SPEAKER_02]: Welcome to the show.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey guys, so today we are talking about how to use your Bible in parenting.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is incredibly crucial episode.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to go over five main reasons or ways that you can use the Bible.
[SPEAKER_00]: One is decision making, one's discipleship, and others encouraging others influencing convictions and discipline.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't forget the last part of the episode discipline so important.
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, you can find all show notes at CourageParenting.com.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, our new book is coming out very soon.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You go to crageparentee.com and the show notes for this episode, you will see a way to do that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, the full ministry of BecrageSmonsion.org.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So, I appreciate your help and right now, actually, it's really helpful.
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[SPEAKER_02]: shirts sweatshirts such good stuff and we're gonna launch it at the teaching diligently conferences including the physical book the people are there we the first to have a hands-on so enjoy the episode we've been married 26 years 25 years of parenting and we've read a lot of books we've looked at our resources but you know when it really comes down to it
[SPEAKER_02]: you know what the key thing I'm so glad we did well is we used the Bible in our parenting in our regular everyday life and it is made all of the difference and so we are doing an episode to talk about how to do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's right.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that, you know, one of the biggest questions that I get from other moms is in regards to how to study the Bible, how to apply the Bible to every day life.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we know that motherhood is sanctifying parenthood, right, fatherhood is sanctifying marriages sanctifying, but here's the deal, sanctification is actually a process of growth.
[SPEAKER_00]: That progresses throughout your life, but you have to surrender to the sanctification because you can go through a lot of our things in life and not actually grow personally You can continue to have the same issues that you struggle with over and over and over again and those same issues will keep arising if there isn't growth in you, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think that this concept of truly like bringing in different passages of Scripture having the word of God written on your heart and knowing it well is one huge important aspect.
[SPEAKER_00]: But then there's also this element of like when you go to the word of God and you have a big decision that you have to make or your needing encouragement to keep on keeping on not growing, wearing doing good so to speak, to be able to remember the word and how it applies to your very current situation that you're walking in.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's one of the things that we want to raise our kids to be super familiar with, to exercise on a regular basis, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: So let's start out with Psalm 119105 that says your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love this verse because it alone is, it's like, well, that old song, thy word is a lamp into my feet and a light into my path.
[SPEAKER_00]: This element of like, do we actually believe that?
[SPEAKER_00]: And one thing is interesting is that a lot of Christians will agree and say, well, yeah, yeah, the word is a lie into my path.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, I go to God to help me make big decisions.
[SPEAKER_00]: But if we truly are going to the word to help us in our decision making, we have to be in the word on a regular basis.
[SPEAKER_00]: And be willing to have conversations that are hard conversations.
[SPEAKER_00]: And what I mean by that is like going to our spouse and saying, hey, on this particular topic, what do you think God is calling us to do?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, what is?
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's not a matter of like hearing God's audible voice.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a matter of like, what is the Bible actually say that we're supposed to do in this situation?
[SPEAKER_02]: Wow, that's such a great question.
[SPEAKER_02]: I know that can go both ways in an marriage, but I just want to say from a husband's perspective, when my wife asks me that,
[SPEAKER_02]: Whether she realizes or not, it's like coaching me to in my spiritual leadership.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like calling me up into, you know, because what if I hadn't been praying about that certain child situation or I hadn't been, I'd just been thinking about it in my own
[SPEAKER_02]: wisdom and leadership and strategy in a human sense or maybe just leaning on what we've always done with different situations arise in different kids have different needs.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so it's a moment of truth.
[SPEAKER_02]: I suggest being honest with your wife, well, I haven't really prayed about that if that's the case, but then to do it in the compactor is and then watching her just confidence in you even grow and respect for you even grow.
[SPEAKER_02]: because there was transparency, or vice versa, this happens too, which is, I had been praying for it.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I'm able to share something that was outside of my flesh, that the spirit was, you know, convecting me in.
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's such a beautiful marriage conversation.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I just want to encourage you that.
[SPEAKER_02]: The Lord needs to be the center of your marriage, and He's the center of your home.
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's what this is talking about.
[SPEAKER_02]: Actually, using the Bible the more you use it, the better you get at it.
[SPEAKER_02]: and the more your whole family in the culture of your family is saturated with the word of God and the Holy Spirit is alive and active in your home.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so important.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think there's five main points to today's podcast episode that we are looking at.
[SPEAKER_00]: These are probably the most
[SPEAKER_00]: obvious slash most important topics as to why the Bible is truly our instruction guide or instruction manual to life and specifically parenting.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think a lot of people they just potentially fall back on what they've known or maybe what is
[SPEAKER_00]: culturally acceptable or normal within the church community that they're a part of in regards to what decisions that they're making and it's really hard for people like us as humans because we have that people pleasing element within us that like to to step aside and do something that's different than the culture is really difficult at times.
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes there are people who are really pioneers and they're good at stepping out to do the thing but then sticking with it long term and being faithful in that thing can also be really hard, especially if you're kind of like the only one in your culture that is actually doing that thing, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: over the years there have been many times where I have opened handed and I think this is a good heart posture to always be open handed with all of the decisions that you make as parents for God to be able to move you and to not just be so strict and rigid and thinking that you know what's best for every single child but taking it to the Lord with a true contract heart.
[SPEAKER_00]: over and over again, say, God was your will for this child.
[SPEAKER_00]: But when it came to homeschooling, there were some underlying scriptural passages that helped me and Isaac in our decision-making process.
[SPEAKER_00]: It helped us to get on the same page in alignment and unity in the decision that we are making.
[SPEAKER_00]: And because of those specific points that were a few of them that for us were just like intimately really convicting, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And it helped in those times when I was wavering and being like, oh, this is just really hard or I don't know if we should continue or is this really what's best?
[SPEAKER_00]: And to be able to go to my husband and get that encouragement and that reminder of the vision that we had together made a decision on, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Which was influenced originally by scripture.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, the interesting parts, we have these five points, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Isaac, we have their five main things.
[SPEAKER_01]: Rapidfire, five points.
[SPEAKER_00]: of how to use the Bible to parent.
[SPEAKER_00]: So obviously you're going to use it for decision making.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you're using it for discipleship.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to use it for encouraging family in our seeing convictions like driving your culture forward.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then obviously discipline as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you have discipline and discipleship.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have like everyday life encouragement.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you know, your family culture really goes into that influencing convictions because people's convictions really affect their long-term relationships with other people, including family members.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so let's talk about decision-making.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, to do that, we have to read Deuteronomy 6, 5 through 9.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, that's essential.
[SPEAKER_02]: Go for it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might.
[SPEAKER_00]: And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
[SPEAKER_00]: You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise.
[SPEAKER_00]: You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
[SPEAKER_00]: You shall write them on the doorposts of your house, and on your gates.
[SPEAKER_02]: So teaching them diligently, which, by the way, if you've never been, join us at the teach them diligently conferences, just came to my mind.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's right, Tennessee and Missouri.
[SPEAKER_02]: And May, go to their site.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're gonna be giving a slew of messages.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're so excited to be there.
[SPEAKER_02]: First time ever, we got invited.
[SPEAKER_02]: And we were gonna launch the book at the conferences.
[SPEAKER_00]: Lord willing, be praying for us.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have some massive people in presence.
[SPEAKER_02]: We'll get physical copies.
[SPEAKER_02]: Very first people ever.
[SPEAKER_02]: to get the new book.
[SPEAKER_02]: We'll be at those conferences.
[SPEAKER_02]: So worse, Lord willing, of course.
[SPEAKER_02]: But we're so excited.
[SPEAKER_02]: Be praying for that.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's great.
[SPEAKER_02]: But this scripture is so good because it really causes you to reorientate your life.
[SPEAKER_00]: to what God's commanding us as Christians to do, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that that's ultimately so we're talking about decision making right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: And for us we chose this scripture because it was one of the main scriptures that really challenged us in making the hardest, I think one of the hardest decisions regarding our kids' education because that's a big chunk of time in both their schedule as well as my schedule.
[SPEAKER_00]: for their duration of life with us, actually.
[SPEAKER_00]: And like I said, we're gonna be starting year 23 home schooling.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so really what it did was, I mean, I had chosen, we had chosen for me to be a stay at home mom, but this was like a next level decision because it is life-consuming, actually.
[SPEAKER_00]: Education is not just from this time to this time.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's literally all the time, and I think that that's what that scripture was convicting us of.
[SPEAKER_00]: We had literally sat down
[SPEAKER_00]: and we were doing pros and cons on home school and private school because public school was not an option for us and we were trying to be as objective as possible because I'll be honest I really didn't want to homeschool because that's hard.
[SPEAKER_02]: I really didn't want us to homeschool because I had all the wrong ideas about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: I was in, and I was raised, went to public school, and maybe as well, we just didn't have the maybe the right perspective on the outcomes of homeschooling, and we're tainted by the world perhaps and that perspective also.
[SPEAKER_02]: Or people that we had known maybe, maybe prior to that, so definitely met so many wonderful homeschool families once we started doing it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but it was interesting though, is that this scripture when when you are taking the actual Bible in any scripture really and you're looking at it from a perspective of exegesis and you're trying to break it down and you're looking at the different levels.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're not just reading through it fluently and going, oh yeah, that's really encouraging.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're supposed to disciple our children.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like somebody could read that and just walk away going on.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm supposed to teach my kids how to love the Lord with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength.
[SPEAKER_02]: But how often are you supposed to do that?
[SPEAKER_00]: When you sit, when you rise, when you lie, when you walk, when you stand.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then you come, you start to think about how many hours are you actually with your children during the day?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and that was where the pros and cons came on this decision-making process, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because we're like, okay, how many hours a week?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's going to be over 32 hours a week where they're going to be with other people, influencing them, teaching them, but not only are they with other people, but they're without mom.
[SPEAKER_02]: And when are their peak hours of attentiveness and energy and paying attention?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and for you, like, think about the few hours you'll have with them in the evening.
[SPEAKER_00]: How much time are you actually spending during those hours sitting down engaging with them?
[SPEAKER_00]: I contact developing a teacher student kind of relationship where you're discipling them, teaching them, coaching them, mentoring them, because really, it starts out as teaching and parenting, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: When they're little and then, as they get older into those teenage years, you want them to want to come to you for advice, but that's not going to happen if you haven't facilitated or cultivated.
[SPEAKER_02]: crucial right there, which is most people lose, see, you have your children's hearts, meaning they love you.
[SPEAKER_02]: And they're going to love you even if they go away.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're going to you're their parents, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: But the issue is people can can be loved, but not totally have their heart, meaning if there's not a teachability towards you in the middle school years and into the teenagers,
[SPEAKER_02]: Whoa, that's the crux of the problem, actually.
[SPEAKER_02]: Teachability goes towards maybe a youth pastor.
[SPEAKER_02]: Teachability goes maybe towards the peers.
[SPEAKER_02]: And different authority in their life.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's like the expert.
[SPEAKER_02]: Internet and things like that, once they get on it, and you're,
[SPEAKER_02]: credibility as their teacher has diminished, and if you allow that to happen, it is catastrophe.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I will say that I have even seen that some parenting couples have allowed that to happen where kids grow up and they don't respect one of their parents as much and see them as a
[SPEAKER_00]: and a lot of times that's also can be reflective of the dynamics within the marriage and if the spouse is actually backing the other parent up and like I don't want to say puffing up because we never want to be puffed up like there doesn't there doesn't we don't want to be arrogant but what I mean by that is like backing them up and saying no your mom does know or no your dad actually has a lot of experience in this and you should listen to him and like when they when kids grow up in that kind of a unified team atmosphere like the marriage is an actual parenting team
[SPEAKER_00]: It changes everything.
[SPEAKER_02]: Here's an example of that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's say the wife is thinking, I really feel like maybe we wish you homeschool.
[SPEAKER_02]: And the husband comes in and goes, you, how he doesn't believe in her.
[SPEAKER_02]: How are you going to teach her them science?
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: How are you going to?
[SPEAKER_00]: You're not good at math.
[SPEAKER_00]: Did you go to college?
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, did you finish?
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you have a degree in physics?
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, how are you going to do the math?
[SPEAKER_02]: Where are you really good at math?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: You actually are.
[SPEAKER_02]: But we're not good at everything, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: So, but so I think that kind of thing and I'm actually not great at math.
[SPEAKER_02]: But I think let's get back to do our anime six.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's really saying we're to be discipling our children often and daily.
[SPEAKER_02]: And if we don't have access, if our life is so busy that we're going in all different directions,
[SPEAKER_00]: And we're not spending time with you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's see four kids and all of them are in different sports.
[SPEAKER_02]: Because everything's age segregated has to be abilities changes by age.
[SPEAKER_02]: I get that if it's all about winning.
[SPEAKER_02]: I understand.
[SPEAKER_02]: So, but now you're going all different directions.
[SPEAKER_02]: how much time is the really where you're talking discipleship if there's someone else during the days doing this so when I was doing that in the evening weekends are getting taken up you've got to kind of wake up this is they gave us the wake up call long time ago yeah no it's a it's a really big deal so for us when we were reading that scripture you know Trinity did right oh yeah
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think that when we read that scripture and we go, oh, wait a second, are we with them like enough hours in the day for it to truly be called discipleship?
[SPEAKER_00]: We often say that discipleship's not an event, but it's woven through the fabric of your lives.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like the everyday thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I have to give you a prime example of this today when we were having a discussion in the kitchen about what our podcast topic was going to be because we often involve the six kids that are currently living at home, although one of them is working full time, so he's gone.
[SPEAKER_00]: like he leaves early at 6 am.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the other kids are just literally by us most is potentially right because a lot of them they have ears.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have our 10-year-old son and senior at the table listening to mom and dad's conversation and we're talking about how important it is to value the Bible as fully sufficient for all decision-making, for influencing us and everything, for being the thing, the guidebook that we go to, and
[SPEAKER_00]: when we're parenting, when we're disciplining a child to remind them what the word says, when we're disciplining our kids to remind them what the word says, that this isn't mom and dad's idea.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is God's plan for us as believers in Christ Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: And and in those times when our kids are discouraged to be able to go and give them a verse that does encourage them, that apply specifically to what they're walking through in life because Jesus actually can relate to us in everything.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, you bring up a good point because that conversation was a
[SPEAKER_02]: So our children for a long time have seen us having ministry conversations like that and they're learning so much biblical wisdom because of our conversations So how can you serve in ministry through church or whatever you're right is around you?
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, how can you guys serve God?
[SPEAKER_02]: and that creates a whole different element in your marriage conversations.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's so powerful.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that's essential, but let's go.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I just want to point out that part of the discipleship, which is the next point that we are talking about and using the same verse because Deuteronomy 6 is obviously like a verse about discipleship, but it was also one that helped us in our decision-making in one of our parenting decisions, which was to home-educate.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's just one example.
[SPEAKER_00]: There are so many different scriptures like it said in Psalm 119 that the word is a lamp onto your feet, meaning it will guide you and direct you, but you have to be in the word and be willing to be convicted.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that's a heart posture to be willing to say God, will you please show me in your word which way I should go.
[SPEAKER_02]: I would say another one is moving to, I don't know, from Oregon.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: That was a bit, this influences all decision making.
[SPEAKER_02]: What is fertile ground for the legacy?
[SPEAKER_02]: I know if we were still in Oregon, our kids, I believe, would still be walking with the Lord strong.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't think it would have affected that.
[SPEAKER_02]: But it would have affected the legacy who they married where they're living with the grandkids all these things since we've moved We've had three get married and they're all living here near by and it's wonderful and the grandkids are now being raised up Not a perfect place.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's no perfect place, but in a better place, and I think so just kind of reorient you reorient your life I've reorientated how I work so that I could be Flexible I work really hard, but I can be flexible.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's something important.
[SPEAKER_02]: I can be there
[SPEAKER_02]: And that became really important to me.
[SPEAKER_02]: So how can you re-orientate your life?
[SPEAKER_02]: It might get gears.
[SPEAKER_02]: You might have to make decisions today to make a gradual process towards reorientating things.
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's really worth it.
[SPEAKER_02]: The second thing Angie was talking about is discipleship.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's give them some, how do we use the Bible to disciple our kids, children?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and I think that, so discipleship, there's so many conversations that we could potentially talk about.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just want to bring up for a second.
[SPEAKER_00]: We had talked about how we're about to launch a new book for the B.C.A.J.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ministry.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's actually a parenting book.
[SPEAKER_00]: We didn't really talk about the book.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm just going to bring it up here for a second, because it's actually the inspiration for why we're talking about what we're talking about today.
[SPEAKER_00]: because we're in the book we take 31 of the most I would say relevant topics or issues that parents are either encountering or are going to encounter or dealing with today in these weird days that we're parenting, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And we break it down and we have scripture in every single chapter and we talk about how we apply scripture to come to the place of our decision
[SPEAKER_00]: Of course there's like there's Christian liberty and freedom because with certain things like modesty for example There's a huge spectrum and there's always gonna be someone that's more conservative than you and less conservative than you But the whole point is what is the Bible actually teach and are we aware of the heart posture That that is really what is God desires the most out of us right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And so on that topic when you're teaching your sons and daughters about modesty for example like go to the Bible It's the guidebook right and so
[SPEAKER_00]: we wrote this book and it really does teach like how we are using scripture to influence our decision-making the fruit and that we've experienced from it like just practical examples and things that we've had to shift in change in even there are some testimonies of that as well right and where the Bible convicted me as a mom on certain issues that I really needed to repent of or apologize for
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that that's like the whole point that's discipleship, and so when I think of the new book that's coming out, I actually think it is a discipleship tool for parents in biblical parenting and how to apply scripture to all the decisions.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you may not necessarily do all of the exact same things that we do.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like we don't do sleepovers, for example.
[SPEAKER_00]: You may have a different conviction on that, but we've never done sleepovers.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have been a hard no on that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And here's the deal.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like,
[SPEAKER_00]: you seen how we came to that conclusion potentially with scripture is just even that process is beneficial because then you can take scripture and apply it to other decisions that you are actually making.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's a training and exercise that we as Christian parents, we need to be very experienced in, but then we part of discipleship is teaching your kids then how to do that same exercise.
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you scripture?
[SPEAKER_00]: so that they are making their decisions allowing their influences to be filtered through the word of God.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're filtering everything through the word of God and their filtering everything through the word of God, Lord willing, if they love Jesus, when they're older, your legacy, there will be more unity and alignment in your legacy and in your relationships with all of your kids as adults and different things like that, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Which is actually one of the end goals.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's actually one of the angles is that they would love God and make him known.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if everybody is on the same page with that, then most of their actual convictions and beliefs are gonna be pretty close to the same, actually.
[SPEAKER_02]: So we'll give a real practical example of how to use the Bible to discipleschalers.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to weave it in with our third point, which is encouraging your family, because they're going to be times where your kids are going to run up against something that's hard in their life, some kind of trial, like maybe a friend is unkind to them, or they feel left out, or they aren't very good at a specific sport.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so they didn't get picked for the sports team right away.
[SPEAKER_00]: They were the last one picked so they had hurt feelings.
[SPEAKER_00]: um, let me think of something that's maybe an older teen.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe someone has a crush on someone and they know that that person is actually interested in someone else and so they're just really sad and they need encouragement.
[SPEAKER_00]: There are a plethora of examples.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to challenge you to think of maybe something that your kid needs to be encouraged in.
[SPEAKER_02]: sharing, they're not sharing.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's right, that they're not sharing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And here's how you do this as a parent.
[SPEAKER_00]: You are discipling them in taking thoughts captive.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can go to second Corinthians 10, 5, which says to take every thought captive, not just their own.
[SPEAKER_00]: Some people miss quote that and say, take your thoughts captive.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, yes, you do want to take your thoughts captive because your thoughts are included in every thought.
[SPEAKER_00]: But Bible says take every thought captive.
[SPEAKER_00]: So every thought includes your thoughts, your neighbor's thoughts,
[SPEAKER_00]: the thoughts that are on social media, the thoughts that that pastor said you take everything captive to what?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's rare when a homeschool curriculum works for all different personalities, but when it does, it makes homeschooling children so much easier.
[SPEAKER_00]: In my home, everyone is wired so differently, and for the first time ever, everyone loves and is excelling in math.
[SPEAKER_00]: A year ago, I switched all of my children 10 to 17 to CTC math.
[SPEAKER_00]: The online interface and the way it works makes it easy for everyone to excel and makes progress so much faster.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love them so much we asked them to sponsor the show.
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you ready to take stress out of math?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Not to your worldview.
[SPEAKER_00]: You take it captive to the obedience of Christ is this biblically true.
[SPEAKER_00]: So when your kids are struggling with lies from the enemy and their head, teaching them how to take those thoughts captive and believe the truth about themselves.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I just think of like a young girl who maybe is struggling with body image.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe she is open and honest with you about it or you notice that maybe she doesn't feel comfortable going to a birthday party where they're going to be swimming because she doesn't want to be in a swimsuit.
[SPEAKER_00]: You take her out.
[SPEAKER_00]: You go on to a coffee shop and you talk about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you go shopping and you get a different swimsuit.
[SPEAKER_00]: She feels comfortable in and you encourage her that beauty is from what's within, not in how we adorn ourselves, not outward appearance, but God looks at
[SPEAKER_00]: And you use these, these are all scriptures, actually, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: But here's one that's super common.
[SPEAKER_00]: James chapter one, most of you are probably familiar with it, and that's why I'm using it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It says in verse two, Canada, I'll join my brothers when you meet trials of various kinds for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness and let steadfastness have its full effect that you may be perfect and complete lacking in nothing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then he continues it says if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God who gives generously to all without reproach and it will be given him, but let him ask in faith with no doubting for the one who doubts is like a wave of the seed that is driven and tossed by the win.
[SPEAKER_00]: For that person must not suppose he'll receive anything from the Lord.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's a double-minded man.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I'm going to skip forward to verse 12.
[SPEAKER_00]: It says, blessed as a man who remains steadfast under trial.
[SPEAKER_00]: For when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.
[SPEAKER_00]: This scripture, with you break it down for a kid that is struggling with a trial.
[SPEAKER_00]: And to you, their trial may seem super minor.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you've had some really hard things happen in your life.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you've lost a baby, you've struggled with infertility, you've maybe even experienced unfaithfulness in your marriage.
[SPEAKER_00]: Some really intense things that you have potentially walked through.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then your child to them is like really
[SPEAKER_00]: at church or in Sunday school.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like you may think that it's a tiny little thing to them, but to them, this is this is a test.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is a hard thing for them to walk through.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have to bear our kids burdens with them.
[SPEAKER_00]: So taking the scripture reading it to them can be a huge encouragement especially as you start teaching.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, if any of you lacks wisdom, okay, honey.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you not know what to do in this situation?
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you not know how to confront the kid that hurt you?
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's ask God together.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you pray with them and you teach them how to come to God the Father.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you challenge them and you say, are you believing with faith?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because this Bible verse says that you better have faith or no doubting or God's not gonna answer your prayers.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that's discipleship is literally like going verse by verse.
[SPEAKER_02]: So this I would call situational discipleship, which is the coming to you, they have an issue, you're noticing something long and you're using scripture to encourage them.
[SPEAKER_02]: The other kind of discipleship, we proactive discipleship where you're actually at dinner time consistently and over time you're teaching the Bible.
[SPEAKER_02]: In the book, I teach an acronym called Pray.
[SPEAKER_02]: Each letter means something in a process for men to teach their families the Bible and how to do it a very simple, effective way.
[SPEAKER_02]: Then no matter how someone's gifted, no matter whether a teacher leader or not, they can do this, whether they know the Bible or not, they can do this.
[SPEAKER_02]: The acronym pray, so I can't wait for everybody to get that.
[SPEAKER_02]: But discipleship so important in this, you think of yourself as a parent as a well.
[SPEAKER_02]: and is the well full of fresh clean water or is it run and dry and is when your kids put the pale in what are they getting out just your opinions based on your inferior experiences or are they getting the word of God?
[SPEAKER_02]: Are they pulling out
[SPEAKER_02]: Fresh clean water or is it murky water because it's mixed with flesh of your, you know, worldly opinions and things like that, you know, so if you can if you can let them drink that pure water because you're getting filled up your well is getting filled up by the word of God in your own play at time.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's huge.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can't disciple very well if you're not being filled up with clean water.
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you're being filled up with clean water when they put their pale in, they're gonna pull it out.
[SPEAKER_02]: If you don't have clean water, you know what?
[SPEAKER_02]: They probably wouldn't even put their pale in anymore.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you go into the middle school years teenage years if you if you if you don't have their heart in this season You're like a loose their heart in the next in that way I mean and they're not gonna come up with their pale and they're gonna put their pale into murky waters in the world And you don't want that no you're what you're sharing reminds me of Matthew chapter For verse four it says Jesus answered them it says men shall not live by bread alone But by every word that comes from the mouth of God.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is an emits of him being tempted
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, I believe right after he was baptized.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, he was baptized.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then of course he goes into the desert for 40 days and the the Tempter comes in Tempsam and his responses.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I don't live by bread alone.
[SPEAKER_00]: I live by every word that comes from the mouth of God.
[SPEAKER_00]: What is every word?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's right here in Scripture.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is what we know for sure is God's Word.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so when we rely on this, there is there is the ability to withstand the temptation of the devil.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because that's what we see Jesus even doing here, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: He's with standing the temptation of the devil and he's reviewing it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's believing what the Bible actually says.
[SPEAKER_00]: We need to equip our kids with that same belief in what Scripture says.
[SPEAKER_00]: and there's so many different parables like if you were to even disciple your kids through Matthew, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: You get to chapter five and there's this section that's on the salt and the light you are the salt of the earth, but the salt has lost its taste, how shall it saltiness be restored?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's no longer good for anything, but it's going to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet.
[SPEAKER_00]: You are the light of the world, it just continues on, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, that's an encouragement for us and we're discipling our kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: One of the purposes that God has for them is to be the salt.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's to be the light, that's one aspect of discipling.
[SPEAKER_00]: So yes, there's the situational discipleship where kids are struggling with something and you should know where the scriptures are, to go to, to be able to encourage them in that moment.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you don't use a concordance, look it up.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have so many tools that can help us in discipling our kids, but the main tool,
[SPEAKER_00]: is actually the Bible and that's the point today's podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: So there's the proactive discipleship of like we want to teach our kids what it looks like to be assault.
[SPEAKER_00]: We want to teach them to live within the purpose that God has collectively given to all people because we don't always know what the singular purpose is when our kids are four or five.
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't know what God's going to call them to do later in life but we do know what their calling is right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so to have that kind of confidence as a parent and to be able to go to scripture that's going to encourage them today, like what is the Bible say that Christians are supposed to be able to handle their emotions?
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a whole section here on anger.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's so many verses, so many hundreds on judging, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Teaching your kids how to righteousnessly judge versus unrighteously, and having a critical spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a huge part of discipleship.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't want your kids to be know at all.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're not going to have any friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just like literally think there's so many things that we could talk to, talk to specifically regarding what is godly character.
[SPEAKER_02]: How to choose friends?
[SPEAKER_02]: We all chat around that.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, that's so important.
[SPEAKER_02]: How to really make sure you have to disciple them.
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to use the Bible to teach them about, okay, what?
[SPEAKER_02]: And you almost need friends to be in some different buckets in your children's minds, because sometimes they're so starving for friendship that they will anybody that shows friendship to them.
[SPEAKER_02]: They just unload on and become vulnerable too.
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's not safe actually.
[SPEAKER_02]: So they need to know, okay, you know, we need to know the fruit and someone's life before we're confiding in them to deeply.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: And once we do see the fruit and that we verify that they are truly a good friend and trust worthy friend.
[SPEAKER_02]: now we can share a little more with them and we can run the race with them and even a stronger way.
[SPEAKER_02]: But if you just, if you don't proactively teach these things, you're leaving your kids to be prey to all kinds of harm, bullying that didn't need to happen.
[SPEAKER_00]: And even influence.
[SPEAKER_00]: which is our fourth point today is using the Bible to influence convictions and beliefs, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, our, we want our kids to have a biblical worldview, which is literally going to change the paradigm through which they look at every single issue, whether it's political issues of today, potential overreach that government has tried to do in the past.
[SPEAKER_00]: We saw that during COVID, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, are we going to obey authorities or disobeying?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, there's a discerning thing, like you
[SPEAKER_00]: that created so much division just in the Christian church.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know it also created division within families.
[SPEAKER_00]: We saw a stark difference between what parents were believing and what their college age students were believing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's just such a shame, but isn't that what the devil wants?
[SPEAKER_00]: He wants division within families.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so recognizing that we need to be as Christians, we need to allow the Bible to
[SPEAKER_00]: teach us and mold our minds and our hearts so that we're in alignment, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: That's where spouses come into alignment.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's where families come into alignment.
[SPEAKER_00]: Lord willing, that's where Christian communities come into alignment.
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's what we call like mindedness because that's important that you have a like-minded Christian culture that you're raising your kids in.
[SPEAKER_00]: But, you know, looking at second Timothy, what we even wrote this book through, like you mentioned unprecedented times, we talk about this concept over and over again, and almost every podcast I feel like it comes up because we have like an unprecedented times tip at the end of the week's show, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Which was your idea.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, I think it's really applicable because it's like where the rubber meets the road,
[SPEAKER_00]: the teaching or the concept that we're trying to teach applicable to parenting into days world, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And that truly is the essence of the new book that's coming out.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you know, second Timothy chapter three, one of the main verses that is, you know, the verse we're using for influencing convictions is verse 16.
[SPEAKER_00]: says all scriptures breed out by God and profitable for teaching for reproof and for correction and for training and righteousness that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work that's kind of like the tagline of be courageous ministries to equip parents to raise confident courageous kids for an uncertain world.
[SPEAKER_02]: So true, and if you think about that, I'll be preaching on that.
[SPEAKER_02]: I can't wait to get the second Timothy.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're in first Timothy right now in the church.
[SPEAKER_02]: But that verse written by Paul, he's in prison.
[SPEAKER_02]: And he right at that moment in history, they had the Old Testament.
[SPEAKER_02]: And they were, I mean, the New Testament was being created, like literally Paul just create, you just got created.
[SPEAKER_02]: The letters are getting started to go out and they're preaching, you know, so there's knowledge about what's going to be in the New Testament or what is in the New Testament, but it wasn't the scriptures that second Timothy's talking about right there.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I think that's really interesting.
[SPEAKER_02]: One, it shows how valuable the Old Testament is to.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Secondly,
[SPEAKER_02]: It shows how every bit of scripture is for us today.
[SPEAKER_02]: So that wasn't just written for the people of the time only.
[SPEAKER_02]: It was written for all of us once we did have all of the scriptures as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: For all time.
[SPEAKER_02]: Even though all the scriptures weren't there yet.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, exactly.
[SPEAKER_00]: Isn't that interesting?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so powerful.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I want to just scooch back in this chapter at the beginning of chapter three.
[SPEAKER_00]: It says, but understand this in last days.
[SPEAKER_00]: There will come times of difficulty, for people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unpeasable, slanderous, without self-control brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure, rather than lovers of God.
[SPEAKER_00]: Having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power, avoids such people.
[SPEAKER_00]: and then it talks about from among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women burdened mean burdened with sins and let us stray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at the knowledge of the truth.
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is so important to realize like this is talking about
[SPEAKER_02]: the times that they were literally like then and now it was a warning for like for all time this is what's going to continue to happen so you don't want your children to always be learning and never arriving at the truth that's what we see in society people are depressed they're lost they're looking for truth in the wrong things they're growing in knowledge mostly through scrolling through their phone and looking at all kinds of rabbit trails
[SPEAKER_02]: And then what happens is they feel like they're growing in knowledge and becoming and then they become puffed up in that knowledge and that knowledge often is wrong and it's not the most important truthful knowledge that's in the Bible.
[SPEAKER_02]: So if you saturate your family by using the Bible on a daily basis in situational times and proactive times, then in your personal time, too, there's a three piece we should put that in the book.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's pretty good.
[SPEAKER_01]: Next book.
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's so important that you're using it that way, and I think a point four, which is
[SPEAKER_02]: Uh, if my family needs encouragement, I'll often go to Psalms.
[SPEAKER_02]: If I'm feeling like my wife is really discouraged or some of my teenagers aren't feeling strong or maybe me, maybe it's me and I need it.
[SPEAKER_02]: I go to a song or I go to some kind of a conversation, a proverb or something that's encouraging that will encourage the family.
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you bathe your family with the word of God, Jens, it is so amazing.
[SPEAKER_02]: There is something really special when a dad does that.
[SPEAKER_02]: And also there's something really special when a mom does that.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's different.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's I think they're both unique.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're both equally valuable and special and they're a different special.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would agree 100% and I, you know, the last point that we are going to mention is discipline because obviously God calls parents to discipline and just to prove it to you, I'm going to read from Ephesians 6 chapter or verse 4.
[SPEAKER_00]: It says, Father's do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
[SPEAKER_00]: We see this as literally God is commanding Father's commanding parents.
[SPEAKER_00]: To do this, just before it talks about a literally as tolling children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.
[SPEAKER_00]: Honor, your father and mother, mother.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the first commandment with a promise.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the New Testament that is quoting the Old Testament.
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, why the Old Testament is so important.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that there is this intimidation factor for a lot of new believers in regards to how do I raise my kids in a Christian home, if I wasn't raised in a Christian home, if I never saw what a Christian mother or Christian father or Christian wife, Christian husband looks like, and that's like the excuse of the day, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Which you could have used that excuse because you didn't have those examples, you didn't know what it looked like.
[SPEAKER_00]: But instead,
[SPEAKER_00]: and try and just not stop, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like even when you fail, you just keep going.
[SPEAKER_00]: You keep going and being faithful.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think part of it too was now I'm 50 right now.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I remember looking at 50 worlds that really knew their Bible and I want to be like that.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that some people look at sports figures and go, I want to be like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I never can be.
[SPEAKER_02]: I looked at the guys, regular guys that knew their Bible, I want to be like that someday.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm so thankful that I had that thought and that you had the belief that you could be that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that's what I'm saying.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like there's a difference like when you watch like a pro basketball player or something, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you go, oh man, I want to be cool to be able to dunk like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: But you're like, I'm not physically tall enough.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not strong enough.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not fast enough.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have the skill.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm never going to be able to.
[SPEAKER_00]: So immediately in your head, you have disbelief that you'd ever do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you don't even work towards it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't try.
[SPEAKER_00]: So much scriptural knowledge, so much wisdom, they're able to just rattle it off like this, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Instead of being intimidated and going, oh, I could never do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: We need to start believing, that's actually a disbelief in who God is.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it's not because of what that person was able to do, that they're able to do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: That is purely, that is like the proof in the pudding of them pursuing God hard every day, and you can do the exact same thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think all of us men, Christian men are supposed to make progress.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's sanctification progress, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're being sanctified after you're justified through Jesus Christ, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: After you're saved, then the sanctification process begins.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just think it's going to slow for too many people.
[SPEAKER_02]: Meaning that they're there will
[SPEAKER_02]: and their lack of proactive nature towards understanding the Bible and growing in the Lord, and their walk is slowing down, maybe the faster process that was meant to be.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what, this is going to be convicting, but I just read a scripture, I'm trying to think of where it was.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it was in, I might have been a Romans chapter 14 or 15, because that's what I was just teaching on.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it was all, the description I'm thinking of was talking about walking by the spirit, if we live by the spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: And as Christians, we have to recognize that when we're in the word, the word transforms our mind.
[SPEAKER_00]: Romans 12 too says that, that it will renew your mind.
[SPEAKER_00]: as you're reading the word.
[SPEAKER_00]: It changes your mind.
[SPEAKER_00]: Literally, that's what that does.
[SPEAKER_00]: It renews it to be godly.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that you can discern what God's will is, what his perfect pleasing will is.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what Romans chapter 12 says.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so when we believe this and then we and we know it, we go, oh, okay, then I my mind's really struggling right now, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to read the Bible, because Bible says that if I read the Bible, my mind's going to get changed, it's going to be renewed, and I won't think the way I was thinking before.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a huge encouragement.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we need to do what we believe.
[SPEAKER_00]: We need our kids to see what we're doing, because that's discipleship.
[SPEAKER_00]: We need even just to tell them, like, I'm really struggling right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: I need to just take a moment.
[SPEAKER_00]: I need to read some scripture, because I'm really struggling.
[SPEAKER_00]: And your kids see you do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's going to be a memory for them when they're older, Lord Willine, they'll go, I'm struggling right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, what did my mom do when she was really struggling?
[SPEAKER_00]: She opened up her Bible.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna open up my Bible because I did change my mom.
[SPEAKER_00]: They say the proof in the pit.
[SPEAKER_00]: They see the proof in the putting the actual change, the renewing of your mind, changes your attitude, changes your joy level because the spirit transforms you.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you know what?
[SPEAKER_00]: Bible says that the spirit of God, which is part of the Trinity, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: Three persons in one, the spirit of God.
[SPEAKER_00]: The Bible does say it dwells in us.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so this is why it's so important that we know all these different scriptures because this literally changes our theology and then our theology is what is lived out in our parenting.
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is why it's so important as Christians that we don't just say, oh, I'm a Christian and not read it and know what we believe.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because when we recognize that walking by the spirit is something that we actively have to choose, we have to choose to lead our minds because our hearts will be deceived, says that in Jeremiah 17, 4, that our hearts are wicked above all else, who can understand it.
[SPEAKER_00]: So our hearts are going to be deceived, so we have to lead our heart.
[SPEAKER_00]: But if our mind is wayward, because we've been influenced wrong, because we're not taking our thoughts captive, which is second Corinthians 10, 5.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then we can't lead or deceive heart.
[SPEAKER_00]: So do you see how it's like there's part, mind, and soul?
[SPEAKER_00]: And then there's the Spirit of God, which cannot be tempted.
[SPEAKER_00]: It cannot tempt you.
[SPEAKER_00]: The Spirit of God cannot tempt you because God himself does not tempt.
[SPEAKER_00]: We just read that in James chapter one that he literally cannot tempt you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Contest you, but he will not tempt you.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so if you have the Spirit and dwelling in you and you choose to walk by the Spirit you're literally It's impossible for you to desire the flesh impossible because the spirit of God Does not desire the flesh and only desires the things of God and so there's this element of like in those moments when the husband or the wife is like I am physically Tyured
[SPEAKER_00]: I just want to veg and watch a movie when you haven't spent time in the word that day.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you have been walking by the spirit and you're asking God, then guess what?
[SPEAKER_00]: Your flesh is not going to desire watching that movie.
[SPEAKER_00]: Your spirit is going to desire the spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's going to desire to have biblical conversations that are going to encourage you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Your spirit is going to desire being in the word.
[SPEAKER_00]: Your spirit is going to desire going to Bible study over hanging out.
[SPEAKER_02]: But I'm not doing it, so...
[SPEAKER_02]: I like watching movies.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know, and I'm not saying it's bad, but I actually think that it is not profitable if you haven't been in the work.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you have been in the word, then it's different, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: But even that being said, like you're not going to desire things that are not profitable for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: The wrong kind of movies are not going to be something you're going to desire because you're going to have the spirit of God in you and the spirit of God cannot desire the flesh Yeah, it's actually going to be like against it.
[SPEAKER_00]: So then if something comes up, you're going to be like shut it off.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to see that.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to hear that and so it's like there's there's this element of like
[SPEAKER_00]: When we're discipling our kids, it's not about perfection, you guys.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's about desiring God and desiring what the spirit leads us to desire.
[SPEAKER_00]: Isn't that what we want for our kids?
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, we didn't we kind of left him hanging on the last point of discipline and I think a lot of confusion out there about this one.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is kind of also our unprecedented times tip, which is you need to have clarity and unity in your marriage about how you're going to follow through in discipline because the method at which you do it, we do believe the Bible is clear on that.
[SPEAKER_02]: But also, regardless of what you do, it's not going to work unless you are consistent and you're aligning your marriage to fall through over a long period of time.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's say you have your plan and then you follow through six out of ten times.
[SPEAKER_02]: It just seems like your children will remember the four
[SPEAKER_02]: Not the six.
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to do it 10 at a 10 times.
[SPEAKER_02]: When you're tired, we need to feel like it.
[SPEAKER_02]: You've got to follow through and consistently.
[SPEAKER_02]: That was my experience.
[SPEAKER_02]: And here's how the Bible is so important.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not only direction for us and what to do.
[SPEAKER_02]: Actually, what we're teaching in this episode, and we're not even going to be able to fully teach it, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: This is a whole hour in our Parenting Mentor Program, which is the most important thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: The Ministry has ever created thousands of parents legacy's transform.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's incredible.
[SPEAKER_02]: So you can get that at greatestbranching.com.
[SPEAKER_02]: You should.
[SPEAKER_02]: But, this is something I want you to tell you, reframe your mind to look at when there's misbehavior or disrespect towards you from your kids as an opportunity versus a discouragement to you.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's an opportunity to disciple them.
[SPEAKER_02]: And yes, it includes, you know, actual correction in the whole process, but to read scripture in the process and the reconciliation part of it after you choose the discipline to use and so forth, then and you follow through, then it's like, what are they, they need to repent to Jesus.
[SPEAKER_02]: And if every time they,
[SPEAKER_02]: you're taking them to this process, you're discipling them of what sin is, you're discipling them that they did sin against somebody or, you know, they certainly sined against God, because what does God say for children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right for, so they sin their screen separation between them and God.
[SPEAKER_02]: So there needs to be a reconciliation with whatever they send against as a person and also God and you can pray with them.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can share scripture, you can use scripture with them.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can even use that scripture I just cited.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's part of the process.
[SPEAKER_02]: If that happens, think of how many times your children have disobeyed you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Depends on how old they are and how well you've trained them, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: If they're older, maybe they aren't anymore.
[SPEAKER_02]: We literally experience that.
[SPEAKER_02]: That are older children.
[SPEAKER_02]: don't or very rarely disobey us.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, it really doesn't happen.
[SPEAKER_00]: And when it does, it's very much- They have experienced so much consistency in correction and in the same, and they have the Bible verses memorized.
[SPEAKER_00]: They know that we have to obey God and discipline them because we love them because God disciplines those who love them.
[SPEAKER_00]: They know these verses because they've heard them, throughout their life.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then when you discipline them and then you pray and you teach them and you for you go through the whole process Can I also say there needs to be an emphasis on forgiveness big time so many parents and I will admit that I have I have dropped the ball on this in the past at times because My perspective had the shift God had to convict my heart that when my child was disobeying it was not a personal offense necessarily against me
[SPEAKER_00]: And that it was, you know, the all the thoughts this isn't convenient.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why is this happening right time?
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have time for this.
[SPEAKER_00]: All these thoughts that parents potentially struggle with, which by the way, just points to our own personal fleshly sin.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just have to say that.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have to be repentant, go to our child verbally, share.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry that I got upset.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was thinking of this as an inconvenience and I shouldn't view it this way like they need to hear all of this because we're literally raising them to be consistent parents when they're older.
[SPEAKER_02]: They are actually they're learning the spiritual love sewing and reaping through your follow-through or lack of fall through and they're not learning it.
[SPEAKER_02]: And if they don't learn them when they're young they're going to have real big consequences in their older and it's really important if they can't obey you it's going to be harder for them to obey God.
[SPEAKER_02]: Authority, having authority and being obedient to good authority is an important thing they learn while they're in your home They're not capable in a job.
[SPEAKER_02]: And here's the unprecedented time step.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're going to get all kinds of things through your feed all kinds of things emailed to you Inmediate and so forth about all kinds of different ways to discipline and so forth that are counter to the Bible
[SPEAKER_02]: One of them being the gentle parenting movement, there's all kinds of other movements.
[SPEAKER_02]: In this stuff is rotten with ineffectiveness and a lack of pointing them to Jesus and really experiencing the consequences of their sin and respecting authority.
[SPEAKER_02]: You need to do it in a biblical way.
[SPEAKER_02]: We know, of course, have time in a little episode to do all that.
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's really important that you're an alignment as marriage and you fall through consistently and it's biblically based.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so we encourage you for a couple things.
[SPEAKER_00]: One, check out the Parenting Mentor Program, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: That's at Courage Parenting, but also you guys be praying for us as we're finishing up and getting ready to launch this new book.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm very excited about how it could be used to disciple parents and to be an encouragement.
[SPEAKER_00]: And to also bring couples into alignment because we have marriage challenges in each of the sections within the book that are like date night questions to get them to discuss what's been talked about.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we've tried our best, we've worked long and hard many, many hundreds of hours, hundreds of hundreds of hours on this project.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm super excited about how God could potentially use this.
[SPEAKER_00]: But first and foremost, if you don't have a Bible, can I just encourage you to buy a Bible?
[SPEAKER_00]: You need to have a good text book.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the instruction manual for life.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the most important thing to buy.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is what we teach out of.
[SPEAKER_00]: These are not our ideas, they're God's ideas.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that ultimately, whenever you're taking any kind of parenting advice or wisdom from anybody, if they are not able to rightly use the word of God as their explanation for why they do things, that's a red flag.
[SPEAKER_00]: It needs to be God's idea, not theirs.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not our opinions.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's God's way, really, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: So, thanks for joining us.