WEBVTT 00:02.377 --> 00:03.662 [SPEAKER_00]: Christian Parenting. 00:06.055 --> 00:11.081 [SPEAKER_00]: Just like Monday's episode, I had a hard time pairing down this topic to just a couple of things. 00:11.802 --> 00:12.282 [SPEAKER_00]: But I did it. 00:12.783 --> 00:15.506 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's actually a shorter list than it was on Monday. 00:15.546 --> 00:18.049 [SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like Monday's episode kind of compliments this. 00:18.069 --> 00:21.633 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you put them all together, I feel like the reason I'm good insight for you. 00:21.673 --> 00:33.987 [SPEAKER_00]: I guess maybe when it's coming up with these topics, I was just feeling introspective and just looking back and having conversations with my two graduates and looking at the final one that's gonna graduate and say, OK. 00:33.967 --> 00:36.009 [SPEAKER_00]: How did we spend our time well? 00:36.209 --> 00:39.453 [SPEAKER_00]: And then also on the flip side, what did we do that really wasn't as necessary? 00:39.753 --> 00:40.814 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I'll come with an episode. 00:40.854 --> 00:41.896 [SPEAKER_00]: Would you want to hear something about that? 00:42.296 --> 00:43.958 [SPEAKER_00]: The things that we did that I'm like, why do we do that? 00:45.059 --> 00:48.823 [SPEAKER_00]: But today I want to talk to you about some top things that I believe. 00:48.883 --> 00:49.984 [SPEAKER_00]: This is my opinion. 00:50.184 --> 00:50.965 [SPEAKER_00]: You can take or leave it. 00:51.045 --> 00:52.147 [SPEAKER_00]: You might have another opinion. 00:52.187 --> 00:54.309 [SPEAKER_00]: You might not agree with these. 00:54.349 --> 00:57.392 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think that they're too controversial. 00:58.313 --> 01:02.758 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's see, maybe one of them might be like a little bit like, and people look like, I don't know about that one. 01:02.738 --> 01:11.247 [SPEAKER_00]: But I want you to consider your family culture as we are talking about the top things that I believe at home school families do that can lead to healthy children. 01:11.429 --> 01:12.711 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, what is healthy? 01:12.991 --> 01:15.755 [SPEAKER_00]: What your idea of healthy might be different than my idea of healthy. 01:15.915 --> 01:22.144 [SPEAKER_00]: And when I say healthy in this sense in today's episode, this is not necessarily physical health. 01:22.164 --> 01:27.572 [SPEAKER_00]: Although I do believe that mental emotional spiritual health can lead to a better physical health. 01:27.993 --> 01:34.322 [SPEAKER_00]: We're not talking about the foods that they eat or the amount of sleep that they get, although I do enjoy talking about those topics. 01:34.342 --> 01:36.665 [SPEAKER_00]: There's been a couple of episodes that I have done about that. 01:37.206 --> 01:41.352 [SPEAKER_00]: I do enjoy that topic, but today we're gonna talk more 01:41.332 --> 01:46.860 [SPEAKER_00]: they're walking out into the world and somebody might say, hmm, that's a pretty healthy teen right there. 01:47.220 --> 02:01.000 [SPEAKER_00]: Not necessarily physically that they are both that they've been going to the gym, but just overall a well-rounded healthy individual in mind and hopefully body, but mind and heart and the way that they carry themselves. 02:01.080 --> 02:04.926 [SPEAKER_00]: So let's get into my list of four right now. 02:05.817 --> 02:10.263 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to episode 456 of Little By Little Home School. 02:10.904 --> 02:35.098 [SPEAKER_00]: Little did I know that when I started this podcast four years ago, we would be this far, but I am loving it, I am enjoying sharing with you, I am enjoying getting to know you through the podcast, when I get emails back or through social media, but I am your host, Lina Wenn, a mom who did not plan on home schooling, but right now I will stand from the rooftops and the highest mountains that I'm not too scared to climb and say, 02:35.078 --> 02:43.852 [SPEAKER_00]: and I am especially wanting to say that to Christian families, those that want to impart a biblical worldview onto their children. 02:44.172 --> 02:51.524 [SPEAKER_00]: Not always just to avoid maybe the other options that are out there, but to say no, let's just give them something so good. 02:51.905 --> 02:53.908 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes we can look at it and say, you know what? 02:54.389 --> 02:58.335 [SPEAKER_00]: Let me give them the childhood in the teen years that I wish that I had in 02:58.315 --> 03:04.207 [SPEAKER_00]: That's kind of a part of the reason why we decided to homeschool, but there was so much more that kept us at it. 03:04.769 --> 03:15.852 [SPEAKER_00]: And today I'm going to share with you some things that on the other end of the whole homeschooling years that I have learned and things that I can look and I can say so glad that we spent our time on those. 03:16.270 --> 03:18.192 [SPEAKER_00]: Today's episode has four. 03:18.573 --> 03:23.559 [SPEAKER_00]: That is my complete list, one, two, three, four items that I think are some top things. 03:23.579 --> 03:28.664 [SPEAKER_00]: So again, we could come up with a very long list, but I wanted to just do the top. 03:28.705 --> 03:34.972 [SPEAKER_00]: And I know people usually are like, oh, the top three, let's do a countdown or the top three, it couldn't pair down to just three. 03:35.092 --> 03:36.674 [SPEAKER_00]: So I had it added a fourth. 03:36.694 --> 03:42.801 [SPEAKER_00]: So we're gonna go against what everybody else is doing a little bit and do four things that I think that we'll lead to, 03:42.781 --> 03:47.808 [SPEAKER_00]: just more well-rounded children as they graduate because that's what's going to happen. 03:48.189 --> 03:51.254 [SPEAKER_00]: You might have a gaggle of little kids right now and it feels overwhelming. 03:51.774 --> 03:55.720 [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody needs something and everybody needs their fingernails still cut by you. 03:55.780 --> 04:07.658 [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody needs their shoes still tied by you and you're in charge of making all the meals, providing everything for that and they haven't quite gotten to the knack of being able to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich well yet. 04:07.638 --> 04:14.104 [SPEAKER_00]: But there will come a time where they can do all those things on their own, where they will say, Mommy, I do it myself. 04:14.684 --> 04:16.446 [SPEAKER_00]: And then they'll come a time where they don't even say that. 04:16.486 --> 04:17.387 [SPEAKER_00]: They just go and do it. 04:17.487 --> 04:19.729 [SPEAKER_00]: And then they'll come a time where they graduate. 04:19.789 --> 04:21.231 [SPEAKER_00]: And they'll come a time where they leave your home. 04:21.851 --> 04:34.843 [SPEAKER_00]: And we want them to leave our home, giving them a great foundation, a great outlook on the world, imparting them a biblical world view, sharing with them faith, a strong faith, helping them to grow in that 04:35.988 --> 04:52.204 [SPEAKER_00]: these four things are just they're just top things that I really think that will help lead you to that because that is the goal whether we think in the middle of deep in every day when there's just so many needs to meet to meet that we kind of forget and lose sight of that. 04:52.284 --> 05:02.974 [SPEAKER_00]: So today's episode a little bit like giving you that insight and so pair this with Monday's episode and I hope that you've got some good some good fuel to step into 05:02.954 --> 05:04.819 [SPEAKER_00]: just your purpose and your vision. 05:04.839 --> 05:06.263 [SPEAKER_00]: So let's start with number one. 05:06.985 --> 05:13.723 [SPEAKER_00]: Number one, how can you get to the point of having healthy well-rounded children is you say no to your child? 05:14.210 --> 05:14.511 [SPEAKER_00]: I know. 05:14.771 --> 05:19.661 [SPEAKER_00]: It sounds pretty simple and maybe that is not a hard thing for you to do, but maybe it is. 05:19.841 --> 05:25.552 [SPEAKER_00]: There are some parents that is hard for them to say no to their kids, but the world is going to say no. 05:26.113 --> 05:27.636 [SPEAKER_00]: Their first boss is going to say no. 05:27.776 --> 05:33.267 [SPEAKER_00]: The kids on the playground maybe that's you're going to a park at a co-op in Sunday school. 05:33.287 --> 05:34.469 [SPEAKER_00]: The Sunday school teacher is going to say no. 05:34.489 --> 05:36.353 [SPEAKER_00]: People are going to say no. 05:36.333 --> 05:38.899 [SPEAKER_00]: And nobody gets just, yes, all time. 05:39.259 --> 05:43.529 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, maybe some high level celebrity or something, but I don't know that they're living the best life. 05:43.589 --> 05:47.878 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know that they actually would be, I would qualify them as healthy. 05:48.010 --> 05:52.055 [SPEAKER_00]: But we have to say, no, to our kids, providing those boundaries. 05:52.536 --> 05:55.019 [SPEAKER_00]: And this goes for a lot of things. 05:55.540 --> 05:59.485 [SPEAKER_00]: It can go from, no, we're not eating potato chips for breakfast. 05:59.966 --> 06:04.371 [SPEAKER_00]: Or it could go for, no, we are not going and doing that activity. 06:04.892 --> 06:11.981 [SPEAKER_00]: Or it can go to, no, I'm sorry, but we're not giving you a smartphone with the full internet when you're 13. 06:12.021 --> 06:13.463 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't care if everybody else has it. 06:14.064 --> 06:16.347 [SPEAKER_00]: But saying, no, to your child. 06:17.018 --> 06:19.001 [SPEAKER_00]: There are so many things we have to say no to them. 06:19.421 --> 06:22.185 [SPEAKER_00]: Like no, you can't run across the road on your own. 06:22.245 --> 06:23.227 [SPEAKER_00]: No, you don't chase the ball. 06:23.327 --> 06:25.229 [SPEAKER_00]: No, you can't put your hand on that hot oven. 06:25.750 --> 06:27.793 [SPEAKER_00]: No, there's a lot of things that are for their safety. 06:29.055 --> 06:36.585 [SPEAKER_00]: And those things are obvious, but there's a lot of no's that parents don't want to say, because it's not an obvious danger. 06:36.605 --> 06:44.376 [SPEAKER_00]: I think more and more we're seeing the obvious danger of saying, yes, to kids and technology and giving 06:44.558 --> 06:48.203 [SPEAKER_00]: them free access and giving them phones and spending so much time on screens. 06:48.704 --> 06:52.350 [SPEAKER_00]: Thankfully, I think the tie this finally may be turning overall. 06:53.051 --> 06:53.872 [SPEAKER_00]: It's going to take longer. 06:54.473 --> 06:58.559 [SPEAKER_00]: But the things that are not obvious to say no to, you can get some pushback. 06:58.579 --> 07:00.582 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you've decided, no, we're not doing sleepovers. 07:00.622 --> 07:02.204 [SPEAKER_00]: That's something my family decided not to do. 07:02.725 --> 07:04.187 [SPEAKER_00]: I did do an episode on that. 07:04.167 --> 07:06.009 [SPEAKER_00]: and you might get some push back on it. 07:06.270 --> 07:11.697 [SPEAKER_00]: But if that is how you feel strongly about that, you feel convicted about that, then continue. 07:11.997 --> 07:22.050 [SPEAKER_00]: Say, no, don't participate on the things that you know is does not align with your family vision, your family culture, what you and your husband have decided you want to do with your kids. 07:22.130 --> 07:26.736 [SPEAKER_00]: But we can just boil this down to every day saying no to little things. 07:26.997 --> 07:27.998 [SPEAKER_00]: And 07:27.978 --> 07:34.773 [SPEAKER_00]: We should say, yes, when we can say, yes, I do think that it's okay to say, yes, you know, they might say, do we really have to do our math? 07:34.793 --> 07:36.096 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, here it is, but it's a spring. 07:36.417 --> 07:37.499 [SPEAKER_00]: Do we really have to do this day? 07:37.519 --> 07:38.481 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just so nice out. 07:38.521 --> 07:38.922 [SPEAKER_00]: You know it? 07:39.463 --> 07:42.510 [SPEAKER_00]: It's fun to be able to say, you know? 07:42.743 --> 07:44.305 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, we can skip this. 07:44.486 --> 07:45.367 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's go outside. 07:45.527 --> 07:46.148 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's go player. 07:46.208 --> 07:48.412 [SPEAKER_00]: You guys go outside and enjoy the day. 07:48.872 --> 07:50.234 [SPEAKER_00]: We'll have a picnic lunch outside. 07:50.395 --> 07:51.416 [SPEAKER_00]: It's that is fine. 07:51.997 --> 08:02.793 [SPEAKER_00]: But there's a lot of things that if we aren't saying no and our kids don't know how to receive no and don't know how to deal with no, they're gonna have a lot of trouble out in the world when people are saying no to them and getting fired from jobs. 08:02.813 --> 08:03.815 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, just put a plan simple. 08:03.915 --> 08:05.798 [SPEAKER_00]: If they don't know how to, 08:05.778 --> 08:10.388 [SPEAKER_00]: respect the answer no and how to respect the in live within the boundaries. 08:10.528 --> 08:17.744 [SPEAKER_00]: Number two, this one I didn't really I mean, I I've always heard it and I'm like, okay, yeah, of course, of course that's what we do. 08:18.085 --> 08:19.207 [SPEAKER_00]: This is what I grew up doing. 08:19.608 --> 08:20.891 [SPEAKER_00]: So of course, that's what we do. 08:21.472 --> 08:24.799 [SPEAKER_00]: But the more that I get to know, let's just say, 08:26.264 --> 08:43.513 [SPEAKER_00]: secular families but also just I don't mean to throw them under the bus but families I mean there could be Christian homeschool families who keep themselves so busy that they don't have the option and they don't leave the option and they don't make this a priority but there's a lot of Christian public school families who don't make this a priority either. 08:43.493 --> 08:47.502 [SPEAKER_00]: But I want you to make it a priority because I really do believe that it leads to healthy children. 08:47.582 --> 08:51.591 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you have young kids, this is going to feel, I remember it feeling silly. 08:51.772 --> 08:55.761 [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, I spend most of my time disciplining and guiding them. 08:55.821 --> 08:58.848 [SPEAKER_00]: This isn't really, I don't see this growing our relationships. 08:59.529 --> 09:00.150 [SPEAKER_00]: But this is it. 09:00.411 --> 09:02.616 [SPEAKER_00]: Number two, things that you need to, 09:02.984 --> 09:05.449 [SPEAKER_00]: Make a priority here is family dinners. 09:06.190 --> 09:07.172 [SPEAKER_00]: Make it that our priority. 09:07.874 --> 09:08.916 [SPEAKER_00]: Make that something that you do. 09:09.036 --> 09:11.020 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it isn't always seven days a week. 09:11.421 --> 09:14.226 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe right now you guys maybe your one sport is baseball. 09:14.346 --> 09:17.412 [SPEAKER_00]: And so two or three nights a week or maybe four you're doing that. 09:17.473 --> 09:19.396 [SPEAKER_00]: But maybe you eat dinner a little bit earlier. 09:19.597 --> 09:21.140 [SPEAKER_00]: And so you have time together as a family. 09:21.581 --> 09:23.845 [SPEAKER_00]: But the other nights maybe it's just like, okay. 09:23.825 --> 09:31.896 [SPEAKER_00]: It's for two months during the year and we get to spend those other four nights at home with dinner and a normal time that is absolutely fine. 09:32.076 --> 09:34.659 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not trying to be legalistic here. 09:34.679 --> 09:36.762 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think that we need to be legalistic about it. 09:37.443 --> 09:43.451 [SPEAKER_00]: But I must remember hearing over and over again how important it was to have family dinners and I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, but we did it. 09:44.012 --> 09:48.077 [SPEAKER_00]: And you know what is one of my favorite times of the day is family dinners. 09:48.057 --> 09:49.799 [SPEAKER_00]: I have all three of my kids living at home. 09:50.300 --> 09:54.124 [SPEAKER_00]: And there are at least a couple nights a week that we are all home. 09:54.665 --> 09:57.548 [SPEAKER_00]: And we will have some amazing discussions again. 09:57.749 --> 10:03.055 [SPEAKER_00]: When they were little, I was like, please, just one more bite or please, just try the chicken. 10:03.496 --> 10:06.239 [SPEAKER_00]: Please, you have to eat two bites of green beans. 10:06.339 --> 10:15.330 [SPEAKER_00]: Things like stop giving your sister that look or stop kicking your brother onto the table or I just remember all the different table arrangements we had of who sat where it was 10:15.310 --> 10:35.310 [SPEAKER_00]: just to move seats and say, okay, you now are sitting on this end of the table and you are at the opposite end of the table, but it just kind of felt like it wasn't producing anything, but it produces a habit and that habit over years and years will then produce teens that feel comfortable and they actually 10:35.290 --> 10:40.638 [SPEAKER_00]: thrive when you have that set that that is something that you do. 10:40.938 --> 10:42.020 [SPEAKER_00]: They know they can count on it. 10:42.040 --> 10:42.901 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not just a food. 10:43.002 --> 10:43.482 [SPEAKER_00]: It's the time. 10:43.542 --> 10:44.063 [SPEAKER_00]: It's the looking. 10:44.103 --> 10:45.205 [SPEAKER_00]: It's at the family. 10:45.285 --> 10:46.026 [SPEAKER_00]: It's sharing. 10:46.066 --> 10:47.028 [SPEAKER_00]: It is the talking. 10:47.068 --> 10:47.889 [SPEAKER_00]: It's the laughter. 10:48.029 --> 10:48.630 [SPEAKER_00]: It's the jokes. 10:48.690 --> 10:50.172 [SPEAKER_00]: It's having serious conversations. 10:50.733 --> 10:54.218 [SPEAKER_00]: But I would tack onto making the family dinners a priority. 10:54.539 --> 10:56.942 [SPEAKER_00]: I would say along with other family activities too. 10:57.042 --> 11:04.774 [SPEAKER_00]: And if your kids are all young and therefore they are all home, they don't have 11:04.754 --> 11:10.385 [SPEAKER_00]: make this a priority, make it something that is just, it's what you do. 11:10.865 --> 11:19.882 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, therefore, as they get older and they have the opportunity to go out, they actually like, you know what, I think I'd rather instead of running around with, I don't know, those friends are going and doing that. 11:20.023 --> 11:22.628 [SPEAKER_00]: It's actually family game night or family moving night. 11:22.968 --> 11:27.657 [SPEAKER_00]: I'd rather be at home with my family and doing that than whatever, 11:27.637 --> 11:29.359 [SPEAKER_00]: silly thing that somebody else is coming up with. 11:29.900 --> 11:34.246 [SPEAKER_00]: But putting boundaries and saying that this is what we are doing and do it when they're younger. 11:34.646 --> 11:40.875 [SPEAKER_00]: And as they get older, there can maybe be, okay, we are expected to be here for this event or this activity. 11:41.335 --> 11:44.700 [SPEAKER_00]: And then it just kind of grows into something that they want to be a part of as well. 11:44.740 --> 11:50.908 [SPEAKER_00]: So make family dinners a priority, even if it feels like it's not getting anywhere, because your kids are young, it will go somewhere promise. 11:51.469 --> 11:54.353 [SPEAKER_00]: Now building upon that is number three. 11:54.333 --> 12:00.804 [SPEAKER_00]: And this is the one that some people can take some issue with, but I feel strongly about it, therefore I'm going to share it with you. 12:01.305 --> 12:07.055 [SPEAKER_00]: And that is that sibling relationships are more important than friendships. 12:08.598 --> 12:12.084 [SPEAKER_00]: However, those sibling relationships should become friendships. 12:13.727 --> 12:15.750 [SPEAKER_00]: This one is just its 12:16.574 --> 12:17.956 [SPEAKER_00]: It goes against the culture. 12:18.257 --> 12:20.420 [SPEAKER_00]: When we look at school, why did you? 12:20.520 --> 12:22.163 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to assume you went to a school like I did. 12:22.724 --> 12:23.585 [SPEAKER_00]: I hated school. 12:23.725 --> 12:24.667 [SPEAKER_00]: I did not like to go. 12:24.727 --> 12:26.229 [SPEAKER_00]: I did not feel like I was being educated. 12:26.770 --> 12:28.112 [SPEAKER_00]: And I didn't want to learn the things. 12:28.453 --> 12:29.735 [SPEAKER_00]: But do you know why I didn't mind going? 12:29.855 --> 12:30.817 [SPEAKER_00]: Because my friends were there. 12:31.277 --> 12:32.740 [SPEAKER_00]: That was just such the focus. 12:32.800 --> 12:37.547 [SPEAKER_00]: Because you spend so much time with these people, they kind of become your family. 12:37.567 --> 12:42.295 [SPEAKER_00]: You end up probably spending more time as far as hours in a day awake. 12:42.275 --> 12:47.264 [SPEAKER_00]: with your friends when you are in public school or private school, then you do with your family. 12:47.284 --> 12:57.984 [SPEAKER_00]: In our culture, as a whole, put such a priority, think about all of the movies and the books, how the ones that are just current and popular, what do they have to focus on? 12:58.445 --> 13:01.550 [SPEAKER_00]: Friends, on the kids' friendships, so they could about like teen movies and stuff. 13:01.570 --> 13:05.818 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not recommending any to watch or anything, but they focus on 13:05.798 --> 13:11.568 [SPEAKER_00]: friendships and books too the popular that books that you'll find in the teen sections are the young adult sections have to do with friends. 13:12.109 --> 13:14.553 [SPEAKER_00]: How many books do you see that are focused on families? 13:15.074 --> 13:25.512 [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's a purposeful thing and as a homeschool family you've already decided to push against the system and to homeschool your kids to educate them at home so why not in this way as well? 13:25.863 --> 13:29.726 [SPEAKER_00]: This does not mean that your homeschoolers shouldn't have any friends. 13:30.047 --> 13:37.453 [SPEAKER_00]: My kids have kind of gone up and down with the amount of friends, the amount of time with friends, but when it came down to it, your siblings were more important. 13:38.174 --> 13:43.459 [SPEAKER_00]: Your brother or sister has a special event or something going on. 13:43.959 --> 13:46.121 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, and then your friend also has a birthday party. 13:46.281 --> 13:48.043 [SPEAKER_00]: So you're going to your siblings special event. 13:48.063 --> 13:55.870 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, maybe this is a basketball game that occurs three nights a week and it's not a big deal, but maybe it's a championship. 13:55.850 --> 14:18.137 [SPEAKER_00]: We are supporting our relationships with our with them among siblings over friendships and this can go back to number one Sometimes you're going to have to say no, but if you set that precedent when they are younger that their siblings are their friends and these are Important, the most important relationships Then it doesn't get it. 14:18.157 --> 14:25.806 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not as hard when they are twins and teens and the world is pushing them to be close friends with others over their siblings and 14:26.714 --> 14:32.586 [SPEAKER_00]: So my kids have had friends over the years with homeschooling and it's been, as I look back now. 14:32.646 --> 14:37.416 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, why wasn't never such a big issue of, oh, I wanted, you know, I needed to talk to my friend. 14:37.436 --> 14:48.418 [SPEAKER_00]: I knew this, it just was never a big issue because we found ourselves really aligned and closest to other families who made this a priority as well within their family. 14:48.398 --> 14:53.065 [SPEAKER_00]: So we would get together and have a great time with these families, our kids maybe just with each other doing things. 14:53.706 --> 14:55.629 [SPEAKER_00]: But it wasn't an everyday occurrence. 14:55.649 --> 14:57.051 [SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't an every week occurrence. 14:57.151 --> 15:00.556 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it might have been weeks or months before we see those families again. 15:00.596 --> 15:06.745 [SPEAKER_00]: Because they were focused on their family, their family culture, their vision, their goals for their families and they respected. 15:06.725 --> 15:07.766 [SPEAKER_00]: the boundaries we had. 15:07.846 --> 15:11.990 [SPEAKER_00]: We respected the boundaries that they have and I think it's just worked out really well. 15:12.010 --> 15:13.491 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that is really blessed us with that. 15:13.511 --> 15:25.182 [SPEAKER_00]: But I know that this can be an issue and if you are at a point where friendships are more important than siblings and you're going to have to pull back and maybe have to go back to that number one and say no and you're going to have to recalibrate and readjust that. 15:25.743 --> 15:33.390 [SPEAKER_00]: I would just say to my kids, these friendships are going to come and go and a lot of them do but your siblings are not. 15:33.370 --> 15:36.495 [SPEAKER_00]: some day, some day mom and dad are going to be old. 15:37.336 --> 15:40.601 [SPEAKER_00]: And these are the people that you're going to make decisions about your parents. 15:41.001 --> 15:41.722 [SPEAKER_00]: These are the people. 15:43.685 --> 15:44.927 [SPEAKER_00]: We've had some things over the years. 15:45.308 --> 15:51.497 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, this is the person right here next to you, your brother and your sister, your brothers or 15:51.832 --> 16:19.932 [SPEAKER_00]: whatever combination it is they're the ones that when you are down in the pits or you go broke or mom and dad are sick and all this this is who you're going to turn to and this is going to show up for you and they're like seven they're like okay but I just felt so passionate about it and let me just say that overall it helps to have them view friendships and relationships in a way 16:19.912 --> 16:20.874 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, here we go. 16:21.174 --> 16:21.555 [SPEAKER_00]: Number four. 16:21.935 --> 16:23.418 [SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna have to fly through this one quick. 16:24.359 --> 16:27.624 [SPEAKER_00]: Number four is I'm gonna say an air quotes the word sacrifice. 16:28.305 --> 16:34.856 [SPEAKER_00]: So, healthy children is because as parents we in air quotes sacrifice our wants for what our children need. 16:35.177 --> 16:39.844 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, I think that word sacrifice and I know I've used it before and I feel like I should define it. 16:40.972 --> 16:43.880 [SPEAKER_00]: It feels like a sacrifice compared to our culture. 16:44.601 --> 16:57.816 [SPEAKER_00]: When maybe all your friends from church, even they're putting their kids on the bus and they go off for the day and your friend, maybe works part time or just is a state home mom or whatever or does work full time, whatever it is. 16:59.230 --> 17:05.119 [SPEAKER_00]: It can feel like to you, you're sacrificing that time to go do what you want because you're homeschooling. 17:05.720 --> 17:08.344 [SPEAKER_00]: But that is not how it has always been. 17:08.724 --> 17:12.109 [SPEAKER_00]: Compulsory schooling is something that is fairly new. 17:12.130 --> 17:14.032 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it's all that we know. 17:14.092 --> 17:15.354 [SPEAKER_00]: It's all that our parents know. 17:15.394 --> 17:17.558 [SPEAKER_00]: It's probably all that our grandparents know. 17:18.239 --> 17:20.983 [SPEAKER_00]: And therefore, it feels like it's fairly new. 17:21.023 --> 17:23.967 [SPEAKER_00]: But in the grand scheme of things, it is new. 17:24.769 --> 17:25.710 [SPEAKER_00]: And so it can, 17:26.045 --> 17:51.900 [SPEAKER_00]: look like or we can say things and I know I've said this to sacrifice but it's only in comparison to our culture, all the things, all the privileges and I even look back, I say to my kids, I went to the movies as a child maybe twice and that wasn't even with my parents, that was with an aunt and uncle who took me and because they had more money and less kids. 17:51.880 --> 18:01.217 [SPEAKER_00]: It can feel like a sacrifice in those terms, but it really isn't, but so what I'm saying is, you know, giving up some of the things that we want for what our child needs. 18:02.079 --> 18:10.935 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I would love to maybe have four, five, six, seven, eight hours free a day to live my life as I would want to live and my kids can go off to school. 18:10.915 --> 18:12.759 [SPEAKER_00]: but it's saying no, what do they need? 18:12.839 --> 18:14.884 [SPEAKER_00]: It would actually be really good for them to be home. 18:15.505 --> 18:18.211 [SPEAKER_00]: This maybe have a child that would be considered behind. 18:18.251 --> 18:23.743 [SPEAKER_00]: And because it's just too hard for them, an entire group of 20, 30 students to be able to keep up. 18:23.763 --> 18:26.308 [SPEAKER_00]: But when you work one on one with them, you start to say, 18:26.288 --> 18:28.976 [SPEAKER_00]: Wow, this is a smart cookie I've got here. 18:29.036 --> 18:41.310 [SPEAKER_00]: This this child is actually quite brilliant when I am able to give them the resources and the time and the effort and the energy that they need one on one to be able to learn and so from our cultures perspective. 18:41.290 --> 18:43.393 [SPEAKER_00]: we use the word sacrifice. 18:43.753 --> 18:55.249 [SPEAKER_00]: But it isn't really a sacrifice, but I think that even for myself becoming a mother, I didn't really quite realize all of the ways that I would have to guide to myself. 18:55.690 --> 19:02.199 [SPEAKER_00]: All the things that I would have to give up because I just lived such a cushy life and be able to do the things that I wanted to do when I wanted to do that. 19:02.459 --> 19:02.779 [SPEAKER_00]: Do it. 19:02.920 --> 19:04.422 [SPEAKER_00]: It hasn't always been like that. 19:04.442 --> 19:06.104 [SPEAKER_00]: There hasn't always been those options. 19:06.685 --> 19:07.686 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, 19:07.666 --> 19:25.624 [SPEAKER_00]: our kids really do benefit when we say, you know what, I'd love to be able to, this is an example, go out every single day, I'm an extrovert and you start to live here kids and you just say, that's just too much, they just need to be home and they need that 19:25.604 --> 19:37.138 [SPEAKER_00]: rhythm, they just need the comfort and the boundaries and the safety of home more than they need for us to go to join a co-op or multiple co-ops or to do activities and go to the playground and all these things. 19:37.479 --> 19:38.640 [SPEAKER_00]: That's what they need right now. 19:38.660 --> 19:39.902 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's what I mean by sacrificing. 19:40.242 --> 19:45.989 [SPEAKER_00]: Sacrificing the things that maybe we want to do or the way we want to live for what are children need. 19:46.110 --> 19:48.553 [SPEAKER_00]: And it doesn't always feel pleasant at the time. 19:48.593 --> 19:49.654 [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't always feel 19:49.634 --> 20:01.754 [SPEAKER_00]: easy at the time, but I pray and hope that the more that maybe you in aircode sacrifice, the more that you do what they need over what you want to do, the easier that those decisions, those things come. 20:02.114 --> 20:15.456 [SPEAKER_00]: So I hope that this list has kind of helped give you some direction, maybe in your heart, you're kind of questioning and thinking about some things, and it's kind of prompted you, and maybe even in a way that's just kind of like, ooh, if I feel a little convicted, I hope maybe in a good way that produces some really good 20:15.436 --> 20:16.398 [SPEAKER_00]: fruit in your life. 20:16.518 --> 20:19.022 [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for sticking around to the end of this episode. 20:19.122 --> 20:21.006 [SPEAKER_00]: There is more to come, more episodes. 20:21.026 --> 20:24.051 [SPEAKER_00]: There's a conference coming up in the fall, all the things. 20:24.071 --> 20:31.724 [SPEAKER_00]: I hope you know by now you can get all the details for everything courses and mentorship and conference and all those things at littlewellittlehomeschool.com. 20:31.764 --> 20:33.227 [SPEAKER_00]: So go ahead and check that out. 20:33.307 --> 20:35.551 [SPEAKER_00]: See what maybe kind of fits in the lines as always. 20:36.292 --> 20:39.317 [SPEAKER_00]: I am blessed that you are here and that you have listened through to this episode.