[SPEAKER_00]: Hi everyone, welcome back to room for us.
[SPEAKER_00]: A space to work where your voice is thrive.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm your host P and every single week.
[SPEAKER_00]: I like to sit down, get vulnerable and talk about all things queer with all of you.
[SPEAKER_00]: How is everybody doing?
[SPEAKER_00]: Are we feeling excited for summer?
[SPEAKER_00]: Is the sunshine wherever you are?
[SPEAKER_00]: If there is sunshine, is it making you feel happy?
[SPEAKER_00]: I personally am feeling like my spirit is coming alive again because
[SPEAKER_00]: Vancouver weather has been top tier so far.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just calling for summer.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know it's going to be just around the corner and I've been feeling really excited and motivated about what's going to be coming in the next few months.
[SPEAKER_00]: And this kind of also inspired the podcast episode because I'm kind of going to be touching on like different topics.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've talked about this before about that feeling behind in life feeling and while we're all on our own journeys and we should never listen to what society tells us is like this is a standard for when you reach your 20s, your 30s, your 40s, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like this has been so
[SPEAKER_00]: Engrained in all of us from an early age, especially millennials, whereas Gen Z is kind of starting to rewrite their own stories, and I think millennials now are understanding like, yeah, because who told us like this is how it has to be?
[SPEAKER_00]: And I've been feeling so...
[SPEAKER_00]: inspired by creators I'm seeing online, even all you know, Sarah, all of you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, all listeners, returning listeners, new listeners, if you just started listening to room for us, you hopefully dove into the like the earlier episodes, but Sarah, who used to host girl on girl with me, has actually started a page all about career pivoting in her 30s.
[SPEAKER_00]: and that did really get me thinking a lot about how I know so many people in my age group do feel this way and we're kind of starting to think about what truly makes us happy versus what looks like the more stable income right now or what is something we studied in school and now we're trying to like transition into that full time because we have our diploma and that we have our degree.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love seeing videos where people are like, oh, yeah, this is my degree, but now I have this full art business, or I have leaned into my skills or things that I'm good at and I don't do anything with my degree, but I maybe took skills from it, but it's not my full-time job.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's interesting to kind of see where people end up and I want to emphasize that you can always keep evolving.
[SPEAKER_00]: even if you are in your 30s right now and you're like, I don't even know where to start but I know I'm unfafilled.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have time.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have so much time to dive into those passions, even like experiment with things and see like, huh, this is something I'm really good at or this is something I could see myself feeling happy with.
[SPEAKER_00]: Happy is an emotional state.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think being content, like living in your life and being like, I am just content.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm prepared for life's ups and downs.
[SPEAKER_00]: Obviously, that is so inevitable.
[SPEAKER_00]: But what is it that is going to drive you?
[SPEAKER_00]: That is something I'm trying to lean into, for sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: My human design is that of a manifesting generator.
[SPEAKER_00]: So doing something that fulfills me is actually a very important
[SPEAKER_00]: requirement I learned about my design.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm the type of person who can get very unsatisfied, almost like unmotivated too.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that might be like my emotional Scorpioside comes in really hard.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe when things are maybe not going in a way that I hoped or I'm feeling confused and I'm struggling because I kind of need to feel like in my everyday I'm doing something that
[SPEAKER_00]: not only just brings me joy but I feel like it's purposeful and I've been experimenting in different job roles actually for many, many years.
[SPEAKER_00]: Starting from when I was 21 working in social media, doing social media management, I dove into media planning.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was a community manager kind of getting into the, you know, comment sections and developing a brand voice
[SPEAKER_00]: While that was a little fun and kind of sparked my creative writing, now I found myself in a copywriter role, which I love a lot.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like when it comes to the marketing world and working in advertising, copywriting is definitely my thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I always used to struggle in the past with finding out.
[SPEAKER_00]: What was it?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I sometimes would feel like I am so stressed.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I feel like I'm not doing a good job in some of my roles.
[SPEAKER_00]: It just caused me so much more anxiety.
[SPEAKER_00]: But being in a role where I feel confident in my abilities and my skills to be able to pitch to clients, to be able to, you know, feel confident in what I'm presenting and why messaging matters.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's been awesome to see that happen and I'm very very
[SPEAKER_00]: grateful for it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It helps me even with my passion projects.
[SPEAKER_00]: This podcast is seriously my favorite thing I do.
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't mean it doesn't come with like some of those longer nights or days where you know I'm struggling a full-time job and also wanting to do the podcast but it brings me so much happiness to see the community that has come with room for us and girl on girl to see myself even looking back at like all the episodes there and I recorded and even the ones
[SPEAKER_00]: It's such a personal reflection and a diary, even to go back to episodes from five years ago to see where we were at then.
[SPEAKER_00]: How life has changed, where we're at now.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it really got me thinking, like, I was, oh my gosh, how old was that?
[SPEAKER_00]: I must have been 25.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I would have been 25 when we launched the podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like at that time, I had no idea where life was going to take me.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think I had probably put these milestones in my life.
[SPEAKER_00]: But now that I am 30, I'm living in a new city, I've been living in the city for a year and a half, almost two years now.
[SPEAKER_00]: Never really thought I would leave Toronto, actually.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I always like,
[SPEAKER_00]: wanted to, but Toronto was just so much like my comfort, my safe space, my home, I knew everybody there, my family's not too far from Toronto.
[SPEAKER_00]: That up and moving across the country and really establishing a life here, falling in love with different parts of Vancouver, the food scene, the active scene, the friends we've made here.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just really proud.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm really proud of that
[SPEAKER_00]: made me think about what other possibilities are there and how my partner and I are still so young and as individuals you know like we can change what we want to do career rise we can dive into projects like really test ourselves test our skills maybe we want to live somewhere else one day maybe we want to own multiple properties if we can like what would our dream life look like
[SPEAKER_00]: I just encourage you all to you know like whatever age you are I want you to know that it is never too late to start over I think we sometimes have it so embedded in our brains that like once you pick something you need to be like in it and you stay and
[SPEAKER_00]: Just make sure you're, you're not doing something because you're settling.
[SPEAKER_00]: And what if the life you've always dreamt of actually really kicks off in your forties?
[SPEAKER_00]: What if it starts in your thirties and you're starting to build it?
[SPEAKER_00]: And you're starting from scratch, doesn't that kind of feel like an exciting moment?
[SPEAKER_00]: I do feel like I launched a new chapter here and I think I've changed in many, many ways and positive ways for myself.
[SPEAKER_00]: I am so much more confident, I feel like I'm making decisions now with like this inner strength that I don't know if I always had before.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was completely tested living in a new city without knowing anybody.
[SPEAKER_00]: And going out of my comfort zone to meet new people.
[SPEAKER_00]: Really put myself out there and say, you know, like, I want to make friends because I didn't know anybody and it's been beautiful to see like who also reciprocates that energy and they're like, yeah, same like I'm also new to Vancouver that's what's been kind of beautiful about this experience.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like the friends I've made in the city are actually like not from Vancouver a lot of them have actually moved from Ontario or they're from Mexico and that's someone from Haiti.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's been like so awesome to kind of like connect.
[SPEAKER_00]: with people in that way, like people from all over that aren't like I've been here my whole life.
[SPEAKER_00]: And um, they're all in my age group kind of being like, yeah, I just wanted to change.
[SPEAKER_00]: I moved here for my career.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just wanted to like be by the ocean.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like all similar stories which is awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: This myth of feeling left behind.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to reiterate that does not exist.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can do anything you set your mind to and never feel like you have to stay in something because, you know, maybe you went to school for this or what are people going to think.
[SPEAKER_00]: I understand there can be some financial pressures as well and maybe there's something you need to do in the meantime while you're trying to build your like absolute passion on the side.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I encourage you don't give up because you can create the life you've always, always dreamed of.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so funny how like growing up as a kid.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just pictured my life would be so different.
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember thinking 30 was so old when I was a kid because like, you know, my mom had my sister when she was in her later 20s.
[SPEAKER_00]: And my mom had me like actually at 37, which is older.
[SPEAKER_00]: But in my perception, in my little brain, I would think like 20 with old, you know, that is what we think we see people buying houses when they're like 25 but like already married, they're having kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: Me at 25 was still renting, I was living with my roommates.
[SPEAKER_00]: I only got my first rental on my own when I was 27 and it's like a different time right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: Also the economy is crazy.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, it's a lot to own right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's different than it used to be.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we cannot even go with what society timelines were because things are just completely different from when they were years and years ago.
[SPEAKER_00]: But we shouldn't have this pressure to have it all figured out because when do we have it all figured out?
[SPEAKER_00]: I think 30s have been incredible so far because it's been so powerful for me in terms of finding like certain clarity and aspects of my life and growth and while there's been so many uncomfortable moments because I'm like, this is not what I'm used to.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ultimately, I feel lighter.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel very at peace with a lot of decisions that I've made.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I kind of see the life that I'm hoping for.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it gets me excited.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I do know that even if challenge has come my way.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel so prepared for it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I've really been working on myself love too.
[SPEAKER_00]: And also not putting this pressure on myself and comparing myself to others.
[SPEAKER_00]: I see
[SPEAKER_00]: You should never compare yourself to somebody else because your success is going to look different and their success is going to look different.
[SPEAKER_00]: So nothing is quote unquote late, nothing in your life is you could be doing something in your 50s and it takes off and like I believe in divine timing and just trust in that.
[SPEAKER_00]: I uh, I love 30 so far.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to be 31 in a few months.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's going to be fun to reflect on all the changes that happened at 30, but I already love it so much more than my 20s.
[SPEAKER_00]: I do and it's just been, you know, I haven't even been 30 for a year yet, but it's already feeling so good.
[SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of it is the self-assuredness and that confidence, and even finding out so many uncomfortable things about myself, learning about OCD, but having a name for it, finally letting go of old patterns, even old energies where I just was like,
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what, I'm becoming so much more selective.
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't mean I want to cut off people.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just so much more selective.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, wanna be cautious of who's around my energy because I notice like that is probably what's making me feel.
[SPEAKER_00]: So good inside.
[SPEAKER_00]: It really makes a huge difference with like your environment who's around you.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I've been feeling really, really good about those decisions I've been making lately.
[SPEAKER_00]: Naturally, as a queer person, I think we're always going to be redefining what our life trajectory is going to look like because it doesn't always look like what society is going to tell us.
[SPEAKER_00]: Even when it comes to things like marriage, we're depending where you are, marriage isn't legal, and every country.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's also factors when in terms of having kids,
[SPEAKER_00]: planning that has to go into that even if Crystal and I really wanted to have kids that could take like many years if we wanted to even do it now, you know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it's not it's not so simple.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's so much planning.
[SPEAKER_00]: So already as queer people, we are having to rewrite what society tells us is like the standard or the norm.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think also moving to Vancouver has made me really think about what home is, and what does home mean to me, and I think that wherever in life, where Crystal and I decide to move to develop communities,
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that is going to be home.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think Vancouver is a place that I would love to continue to live long term.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's been so good for my mental health.
[SPEAKER_00]: I find like certain neighborhoods and pockets have so much character.
[SPEAKER_00]: The food is amazing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I like the community here.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I even feel like I've gotten closer with some of my family members because now it kind of feels like these more planned quality time meetups, whether I'm visiting them back in Toronto, or they're coming and they're like we're planning a trip to Vancouver, we're going to be there for a week.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so good because you can do these new things together.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're in a new environment.
[SPEAKER_00]: and that's been really special to me and even in terms of like certain communication with my friends, voice notes are so big, we're face-timing, I love it so much and you feel like you're still very close even though we're across the country from each other and yeah it's really got me thinking about home.
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember
[SPEAKER_00]: what I would see around me in my environment when I was at first living in Wippie as a teenager and then I moved to Toronto.
[SPEAKER_00]: I used to look at like the way my sister was living and that was like naturally the trajectory I thought I would do too.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was always going to be Toronto living and
[SPEAKER_00]: I just never thought like that big outside.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know why, but now I even talked to Crystal and I'm like maybe one day we'll move to Europe, you know, maybe go to Europe for a couple years, like see where we end up.
[SPEAKER_00]: We can bring our cats with us.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just really want to adventures much as I can in my 30s and make new memories because I feel like traveling is so good to do and like really living in places and the world is just so big.
[SPEAKER_00]: So,
[SPEAKER_00]: Never feel worried to start over somewhere.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're so strong and you're always going to be taking you with you, but you're bringing in new perspectives.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that can ultimately make you like a better person, too.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're traveling with those reasons, you're traveling to really learn.
[SPEAKER_00]: You want to dive deep into different cultures.
[SPEAKER_00]: I really believe that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, these are some goals I want to set for myself up until the end of the year.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to be focusing so much on my passion projects and really trying to pursue meaningful work, even with collaborations on the podcast, like really finding my queer community in Vancouver and being that voice for it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I am really excited about building more financial stability, but also not letting that take over my creative ambition.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think when it comes to sometimes working full-time jobs, you know, I get burnt out sometimes like it's a full-time, you're putting your whole energy into it, your mind, but I'm never going to lose my love for creation and creating videos, being in a new environment and capturing moments, like those things make me really happy.
[SPEAKER_00]: and sometimes I'll admit I can fall off of it because it can be a lot to try to balance, but I think to me if a feeling life would mean like never giving up on myself and never giving up on the things that make me motivated.
[SPEAKER_00]: That make me wake up feeling like I'm excited.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like this day, even if it's filled with meetings that I'm work going on, like, I'm grateful for these opportunities and the people I'm meeting and
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm happy that I have the resources to continue to be creative and that is why I love this podcast and I want to learn new skills, I want to get better at editing and I want to learn to trust my intuition and go for certain things that feel aligned.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think in terms of like it's never too late to start over kind of ties into also like the power of queer reinvention and what that means too.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think queer experiences can involve multiple coming out's
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you have to look for that chosen family and community support as those are the people that really see you for you and you'll feel at home and you're being authentic and you know that authenticity is your strength like that is your superpower.
[SPEAKER_00]: You being so vulnerable in authentic and living a life that is exactly you and I feel like that is a common thing for queer people especially for late bloomers you know like people who come out later in life
[SPEAKER_00]: I find those stories so inspiring like, and that could be an example of, this is why it's never too late to start over, people who are coming out later into their 40s and 50s and still have so much life to pursue time to adventure and it doesn't mean their past experiences didn't mean anything.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like we're all learning so much along the way that those past experiences taught us something and then they lead us to how we're going to continue to grow and evolve.
[SPEAKER_00]: So here's some lessons like I've just learned over the years from my 20s and my 30s because as I'm diving into my new decade, there's so many things I had to unlearn in my 20s.
[SPEAKER_00]: I never used to think like it was normal to pivot or leave careers that actually kind of made me feel fearful.
[SPEAKER_00]: And when I was struggling with loving my jobs when I was in my 20s, it actually caused me a lot of sadness and anxiety because I kind of felt like what did all those years of schooling do, why do I feel like I'm not in the right career.
[SPEAKER_00]: The field, I'm stressed, I'm having anxiety, I remember kind of leaning into a lot of like,
[SPEAKER_00]: Friend time, social time, going out, going out for drinks to kind of like, forget about maybe that stress that I was carrying because I couldn't see that far in the future because the present was kind of stressing me out.
[SPEAKER_00]: I kind of wish younger me, new.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay, you could probably do something completely different.
[SPEAKER_00]: And even if it's not bringing you that consistent income right now, try and build on something that you know you're good at, trust in yourself and build on those skills.
[SPEAKER_00]: progress can look like so many different things.
[SPEAKER_00]: You could be one day you're doing really well and then you face a dip and then you feel uninspired.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like full transparency and vulnerability with this podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: Progress has not been linear with the pod.
[SPEAKER_00]: When we had first launched in 2021, there was a lot of interest because it was something very, very new.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think one thing that I've had to learn is like, you have to make sure you are really, really loving what you're doing and you're doing it for the right reasons, otherwise that progress or those numbers or if you start to see some dips can really ultimately cause you to walk away.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm telling you I'm not lying when I say this I love this podcast and I want to keep doing this podcast whether it gets like the views are not because to me it's not about that I started this in the hopes of reaching people who felt like they needed someone to relate to I really lean into me being Indian.
[SPEAKER_00]: And queer, because we don't see enough of that representation, I definitely did not see that growing up at all.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even remember the first Indian queer person I saw in the internet.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't remember it might have been the least thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was a little older than, too, and it just makes me think of teenage me feeling so lost.
[SPEAKER_00]: So,
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a learn lesson here.
[SPEAKER_00]: I see progress with the podcast I'm proud of myself for continuing to release episodes every week.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is a full commitment, you know, the time that goes into the editing and the concept idea is the topics, but it really, really brings me joy and I'm so happy for.
[SPEAKER_00]: the people who tune in every single week and maybe pick up a little something from these episodes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Never let fear stop you from trying new things like sometimes fear can actually be that push to get you to go in a different direction.
[SPEAKER_00]: So sometimes like when we have a little fear we step back and we give up but maybe a little fear is a good thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: It means you're getting outside your comfort zone.
[SPEAKER_00]: And like this title of this episode, you never need permission to just start over again.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do it if it feels good to you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to close the episode here.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know this was a bit more of a reflective piece, but I want to open this up to the podcast listeners, like, are you going through this right now?
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you feel like you want to start over?
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you going through a bit of a career journey?
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you wanting to launch something but you're feeling a little nervous about it?
[SPEAKER_00]: Or you feel like it's something vulnerable?
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you don't know where to start?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, what is a dream of yours?
[SPEAKER_00]: That maybe you've been postponing?
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I have a lot of friends who are creatives, like I have friends who are writers, musicians, actors.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love to kind of learn about those things and see like what is it?
[SPEAKER_00]: What is your dream passion?
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you had no restrictions and you could just be doing what you want to do full time, what would it be?
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, I open this like to the DMs like please like voice note me your feelings and maybe what it is what is your dream and Do you want to start over like tell me I think this is a fun thing to get into as we are looking into starting over in a new decade Maybe you want to move to a new city
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you're like even discovering yourself in your queerness.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's talk.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to open it up to the listeners.
[SPEAKER_00]: But thank you for tuning in as always.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if there are any topics you want me to cover for this podcast, please let me know.
[SPEAKER_00]: I will definitely look into that and do all the research I can.
[SPEAKER_00]: But once again, appreciate you and I will see you all next week.