WEBVTT 00:02.562 --> 00:04.767 [SPEAKER_01]: Hi, I'm Sarah, and I'm Megan. 00:05.128 --> 00:09.879 [SPEAKER_01]: We're two women in our 40s who live in different states and have lots of different interests between us. 00:10.620 --> 00:20.082 [SPEAKER_00]: On this show, we talk about all the midlife lady leisure pursuits we're enjoying at this stage of life, like travel, hobbies, food, wellness, style, and more. 00:20.602 --> 00:25.650 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm excited today to talk about cheap and inexpensive luxuries. 00:25.970 --> 00:30.958 [SPEAKER_01]: Those little things we can do for ourselves for comfort that don't cost much or maybe anything. 00:31.659 --> 00:37.387 [SPEAKER_00]: Today's episode is brought to you by our exclusive season sponsor and a long time partner of ours, Vionic Shoes. 00:37.788 --> 00:41.494 [SPEAKER_00]: I just got the EVNIT slide sandal and Megan, wow! 00:41.894 --> 00:49.005 [SPEAKER_00]: I've been wearing Vionic Shoes for years and they're always so comfortable, but the footbed on these sandals is seriously so supportive. 00:48.985 --> 00:52.855 [SPEAKER_00]: and of course they're super cute and they come in a bunch of colors for spring and summer. 00:53.416 --> 01:04.143 [SPEAKER_00]: Use the promo code midlife at vionicshues.com for 15% off when you log into your account and be sure to check out the special page we've set up where you can see our favorite vionic styles. 01:04.464 --> 01:06.589 [SPEAKER_00]: Look for those in the show notes for this episode. 01:06.991 --> 01:14.904 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, thank you to Vionic for sponsoring this episode, and let's dive right in to talking about cheap comforts. 01:15.425 --> 01:15.946 [SPEAKER_01]: I love it. 01:16.486 --> 01:20.974 [SPEAKER_01]: Sarah, this idea came as I was working on a post for my sub-stack, and I'll link to that. 01:21.435 --> 01:31.571 [SPEAKER_01]: But basically, you and I shut down an entire business last spring, and it had been a full-time income for both of us for years, and it had been dwindling, but kind of just stopped. 01:31.751 --> 01:32.172 [SPEAKER_01]: It was like, 01:32.152 --> 01:37.020 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, the dwindling, you know, fire hose just basically cut right off. 01:37.461 --> 01:40.967 [SPEAKER_01]: And I knew I didn't want to step right into another full-time gig right away. 01:41.007 --> 01:48.540 [SPEAKER_01]: What I really wanted to do instead was to scale back my life a little bit to buy me some time and space. 01:48.520 --> 01:52.747 [SPEAKER_01]: And for me, that often doesn't really look like budgeting. 01:52.787 --> 01:53.909 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not that great at budgeting. 01:54.069 --> 01:57.014 [SPEAKER_01]: It's very restrictive and I have a hard time sticking to a budget. 01:57.214 --> 01:58.336 [SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't feel active enough. 01:58.396 --> 02:01.200 [SPEAKER_01]: It feels too much like, here's all the stuff you can't do. 02:01.721 --> 02:01.821 [SPEAKER_00]: Sure. 02:01.842 --> 02:02.402 [SPEAKER_00]: I can see that. 02:02.703 --> 02:05.888 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but what I am really good at is adapting. 02:06.172 --> 02:13.983 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm really good at making whatever the new normal is interesting enough that I want to sort of follow that thread. 02:14.043 --> 02:20.592 [SPEAKER_01]: And so recently, I did take another full-time job and was kind of looking back at our expenses over the last year. 02:20.612 --> 02:25.258 [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, wow, I've really cut my spending a lot over the last year. 02:25.558 --> 02:31.066 [SPEAKER_01]: And I realized it's because so many of the things I used to spend money on, I just don't anymore. 02:31.907 --> 02:35.672 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's because I actually kind of created a preference for 02:35.973 --> 02:38.116 [SPEAKER_01]: other things that don't cost money. 02:38.716 --> 02:41.760 [SPEAKER_01]: So I kind of just have been thinking about like, why is that? 02:41.840 --> 02:55.877 [SPEAKER_01]: Why do we think that it's more comfortable or comforting or luxurious or whatever word you're looking for to go someplace and have a beverage on someone else's patio, then our own patio. 02:55.897 --> 02:58.120 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's just one tiny example. 02:58.340 --> 03:02.065 [SPEAKER_01]: What is going on in our bodies or 03:02.045 --> 03:06.991 [SPEAKER_01]: comfort and luxury and the other is not and I really think we can tweak that. 03:07.071 --> 03:10.335 [SPEAKER_01]: So we all know right now there's a lot of anxiety about the economy. 03:10.836 --> 03:11.998 [SPEAKER_01]: Custer going up. 03:12.018 --> 03:18.686 [SPEAKER_01]: There's a lot of uncertainty and we can't change our basic needs like we all need food and water and clothing and shelter and there's nothing we can do about that. 03:18.766 --> 03:25.875 [SPEAKER_01]: But I do think we can change how we perceive comfort and luxury because it's subjective 03:26.024 --> 03:45.197 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I am nodding along to everything you're saying, and I want to add another layer to this, which is I think a through line of this podcast and sort of leaning into midlife leisure is in a lot of ways discovering some very simple and analog practices that have been around for generations and the kind of 03:45.329 --> 03:50.657 [SPEAKER_00]: exist outside of the capitalist system to some degree, not entirely. 03:50.697 --> 04:07.641 [SPEAKER_00]: We've talked about travel, and we've talked about certainly some things, but I just think there's some synchronicity, or it lines up nicely with other things you and I have both been exploring, which is maybe spending a little less time online or on social media. 04:07.621 --> 04:14.214 [SPEAKER_00]: um, leaning into more analog and physical practices like knitting or yoga or walking. 04:14.675 --> 04:19.385 [SPEAKER_00]: There's like, it's not a coincidence that those things are also budget friendly. 04:19.405 --> 04:25.056 [SPEAKER_00]: I think because the world we live in is going to really want to 04:25.036 --> 04:35.755 [SPEAKER_00]: influences as much as it can to spend and consume, and I'm noticing a lot of women in my life, not just you and me who feel like resisting that. 04:35.835 --> 04:42.927 [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes it might be because money's tight, sometimes it also might be because that just feels better somehow. 04:42.947 --> 04:43.348 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 04:43.368 --> 04:43.568 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 04:43.548 --> 04:45.472 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, 100% agree. 04:45.512 --> 04:52.746 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think there's been times in my life when I've really been very I'm not going to say like we're all consumers. 04:52.766 --> 04:53.567 [SPEAKER_01]: We're all consumerists. 04:53.587 --> 05:05.590 [SPEAKER_01]: We're living in a consumerist society like, how do we actually not be that, but where I've I've been so susceptible to that marketing and to those messages because I felt so tapped out. 05:05.570 --> 05:09.636 [SPEAKER_01]: and like I had no time to even think about how I would care for myself. 05:09.656 --> 05:18.690 [SPEAKER_01]: Like there was not even a moment where I could think, well wait, if it's not spending money, what is there that I have time or space in my life to do? 05:18.730 --> 05:22.836 [SPEAKER_01]: And I do think that as 05:22.816 --> 05:26.063 [SPEAKER_01]: The time and space has been opening up for me. 05:26.224 --> 05:32.698 [SPEAKER_01]: I've realized that a lot of the ways I used to try to get those little dopamine hits We're actually a little hollow in the end. 05:32.778 --> 05:40.335 [SPEAKER_01]: They were just like a temporary little fix, but they didn't they they felt like a promise that probably wasn't actually delivered on yeah 05:40.737 --> 05:44.844 [SPEAKER_01]: And we're getting wise to that right and now we have the time to do something about it. 05:44.964 --> 05:51.735 [SPEAKER_01]: So I know everyone's in a different place just because you're a midlife lady does not mean you don't have young kids or a hectic job or whatever. 05:51.775 --> 06:01.530 [SPEAKER_01]: So you know if that's if you're still in the stage of life where convenience is a super premium that might just be where you're at and that's okay. 06:01.551 --> 06:05.597 [SPEAKER_01]: But I do still think there's just little ways it to just bring 06:06.742 --> 06:11.610 [SPEAKER_01]: different ways of finding pleasure, comfort, luxury, whatever, however we're defining it. 06:12.151 --> 06:15.857 [SPEAKER_01]: And today I think we're just going to talk about some of those ways that we have found in our lives. 06:16.799 --> 06:20.104 [SPEAKER_01]: So I'll start with one that is near and dear to my heart, no surprise here. 06:20.124 --> 06:23.029 [SPEAKER_01]: And that is to choose 06:23.465 --> 06:29.934 [SPEAKER_01]: a favorite food or a beverage, and then really nerd out on making it at home. 06:30.855 --> 06:36.343 [SPEAKER_01]: Obviously, you know, one that I love is tea, and even really expensive tea is cheap. 06:36.523 --> 06:38.886 [SPEAKER_01]: When you make it at home, it's just that kind of product. 06:39.467 --> 06:43.633 [SPEAKER_01]: But, you know, I've also gotten into making sourdough, or cheese, or yogurt. 06:43.613 --> 06:47.682 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think it's the specific thing you're making and I think it can truly just be one thing. 06:47.743 --> 06:57.706 [SPEAKER_01]: It's the immersion in it that I think gave us me that feeling of sensory richness or comfort, luxury. 06:58.548 --> 07:02.196 [SPEAKER_01]: It can become expensive if you feel like now you have to go out and buy all the gear. 07:02.176 --> 07:13.629 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think even finding ways around that can be very satisfying, like finding ways to truly DIY or look for the equipment whatever it is, like let's say your thing is coffee. 07:13.669 --> 07:15.093 [SPEAKER_01]: And you need a roaster or grinder. 07:15.113 --> 07:17.299 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, maybe there's a way you can do that. 07:17.279 --> 07:28.093 [SPEAKER_01]: on a very small scale that actually can feel more satisfying than it does to just acquire the accutra ma of doing that thing. 07:28.373 --> 07:41.329 [SPEAKER_01]: There's the actual practice of it and then there's the outward facing trappings, I guess, and I'm talking about the art and the soul of it. 07:41.613 --> 07:47.780 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, I love that you use the phrase nerd out because I think something that maybe stops some people. 07:47.941 --> 07:54.729 [SPEAKER_00]: So like, let's say you wanted to learn to make your latte at home instead of, you know, spending six dollars or whatever it is. 07:55.350 --> 08:01.557 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, I think what can get in the way sometimes is like you said there can be an upfront sort of investment. 08:01.757 --> 08:06.523 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe in money or time in learning, but, um, if you stick with 08:06.503 --> 08:21.778 [SPEAKER_00]: The learning and get to the point where it is satisfying what I have found is you're really treating yourself to exactly the way you like something and I think it slips for me into, okay, now this is a lot of work and mess and I spent money on this milk frother. 08:22.079 --> 08:25.466 [SPEAKER_00]: to actually like almost like you're cheating the system. 08:25.566 --> 08:29.033 [SPEAKER_00]: Like you're going to make this better than why would I go get it. 08:29.114 --> 08:31.138 [SPEAKER_01]: That's how I feel about Tia all the time now. 08:31.158 --> 08:33.663 [SPEAKER_01]: Like why would I put someone else to make this for me? 08:33.964 --> 08:35.266 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but that takes time you're right. 08:35.326 --> 08:37.311 [SPEAKER_00]: So I think that's the lesson. 08:37.431 --> 08:41.579 [SPEAKER_00]: I have a I make cold brew coffee in in this summer spring summer. 08:41.600 --> 08:42.822 [SPEAKER_00]: Whenever our weather is warm. 08:43.072 --> 08:49.404 [SPEAKER_00]: So my cold brew contraption, it's not a machine you plug in, but it is sort of a large strainer contraption. 08:50.206 --> 08:53.792 [SPEAKER_00]: It'll go away like in this cupboard for like, you know, four or five, six months at a time. 08:53.913 --> 08:59.904 [SPEAKER_00]: And when I get it out and make a batch of cold brew concentrate, it smells different than hot coffee brewing. 08:59.924 --> 09:02.970 [SPEAKER_00]: And I love this smell of hot coffee brewing, too, but this has a different... 09:02.950 --> 09:09.663 [SPEAKER_00]: smell and I just get so excited for warm weather and spring and summer and iced coffee and so it is. 09:09.703 --> 09:18.681 [SPEAKER_00]: It is a treat for yourself and like you said a sensory experience that maybe is even better than what you could get for your six dollars. 09:18.661 --> 09:31.622 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, well, a few of mine that I brought to talk about today are a little more aspirational than things I'm already doing, so everyone listening take that as, this is things I would like to do, and this one is included in that category. 09:32.142 --> 09:45.664 [SPEAKER_00]: But I think that having a standing date or phone date or FaceTime date with a family member or a friend that you want to stay connected to, 09:46.370 --> 09:48.653 [SPEAKER_00]: natural rhythm and natural schedule. 09:49.013 --> 10:09.119 [SPEAKER_00]: I am just aware at the stage of life, how much those relationships mean and how busy we get and kind of, we assume we're keeping up with our friends and family, but I have experienced a few different like the pleasure of a standing date in a few different ways and I would like to do more of this. 10:09.620 --> 10:14.166 [SPEAKER_00]: I also spent a ton of time driving around in my minivan and I could, I can just, 10:14.146 --> 10:24.612 [SPEAKER_00]: think of a few windows of time where it would be like every Friday afternoon, I'm going to call this person or, you know, whatever, Sunday mornings, I face time this person. 10:24.672 --> 10:31.328 [SPEAKER_00]: So I just think that costs nothing, maybe takes a little bit of finagling and coordinating to 10:31.308 --> 10:52.920 [SPEAKER_00]: to get going, but the recurring factor is so satisfying when you're building on conversations, and it's not just the like, we haven't caught up in so long, so now we've got to cover all of it, like, how's each kid doing and what's housework, but like, you're actually, like, sort of layering that relationship building with the people already in your life. 10:52.980 --> 10:54.042 [SPEAKER_00]: So I would like to do more of this. 10:54.963 --> 10:59.610 [SPEAKER_01]: I love this, and I'm going to quickly just add on that I think 11:00.198 --> 11:04.186 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, like a phone date or a FaceTime date are absolutely free. 11:06.250 --> 11:15.928 [SPEAKER_01]: I think even with in-person get together if they become a standing thing or recurring thing, don't you feel like it opens up more? 11:16.651 --> 11:35.487 [SPEAKER_01]: possibility for planning ahead a little bit for an inexpensive date and what I mean by that is if I'm getting together with a friend last minute every once a year or six months or something because neither of us put it on our calendar and now it's like let's just do something whatever it's almost always going to be something we pay to do. 11:35.467 --> 11:43.795 [SPEAKER_01]: It's almost always going to be let's go out for a drink and let's meet up for dinner because in the moment it feels easy and you didn't have time to plan. 11:44.215 --> 11:57.167 [SPEAKER_01]: But if you knew that every Friday afternoon, you don't never know every Friday afternoon, but let's say every second month, second first Friday of the month or something like that, you were going to get together with a particular friend. 11:57.187 --> 11:58.709 [SPEAKER_01]: You have time and it's exciting. 11:58.729 --> 12:00.090 [SPEAKER_01]: Now you can kind of plan ahead. 12:00.130 --> 12:03.313 [SPEAKER_01]: What is this adventure we could go on and maybe it's a hike or maybe 12:03.293 --> 12:06.659 [SPEAKER_01]: Just something that takes a little bit more of a lift. 12:06.679 --> 12:06.859 [SPEAKER_00]: Yep. 12:07.600 --> 12:09.163 [SPEAKER_01]: To even make sure you have the right shoes on. 12:09.403 --> 12:10.144 [SPEAKER_00]: Yep. 12:10.405 --> 12:11.286 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, absolutely. 12:11.386 --> 12:17.897 [SPEAKER_00]: I think automating, ritualizing does free up a lot and you're right. 12:17.937 --> 12:22.264 [SPEAKER_00]: I think allows it to be less expensive than just dinner out. 12:23.527 --> 12:37.013 [SPEAKER_01]: So this one is something you and I've talked about before on this show and maybe not super recently, we both love the library and I think the thing I neglected to do for a very long time 12:37.229 --> 12:44.040 [SPEAKER_01]: is to truly shop the library because there are many offerings at the library. 12:44.060 --> 12:49.208 [SPEAKER_01]: Yours probably has a library of things that you can check out. 12:50.690 --> 12:54.175 [SPEAKER_01]: It could be anything from yard games. 12:54.376 --> 13:02.308 [SPEAKER_01]: I've seen so if you're planning like a Fourth of July back here in Party or a Graduation Party at my local 13:02.288 --> 13:09.481 [SPEAKER_01]: Because I go to many libraries, but the smallest one near me, they have like badminton, you know, those, uh, the little sack games, you toss the sex. 13:09.501 --> 13:13.188 [SPEAKER_01]: The kind of thing that you might be tempted to run out and spend 50 bucks on. 13:14.070 --> 13:17.196 [SPEAKER_01]: At the last minute, because you need something for the rest to do. 13:17.516 --> 13:20.281 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, and then you fall to part, they're not usually all that well made. 13:20.342 --> 13:24.870 [SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, so like things like that, or mine has a seed. 13:24.850 --> 13:37.587 [SPEAKER_01]: Exchange so you can nice borrow check out seeds and then, you know, you're supposed to at the end of the season Bring back the seeds you saved but like really how will they know right? 13:37.827 --> 13:52.427 [SPEAKER_01]: In that thing you should screw the system over on purpose, but if you're nervous that you might not have seeds to save I wouldn't worry about that yet I think I would just start and see where you get and I think I'll understand if you can't for whatever reason because your garden fails or something 13:52.407 --> 13:57.354 [SPEAKER_01]: um mine has passes that you can check out. 13:57.374 --> 14:00.638 [SPEAKER_01]: There's just all kinds of things and there's free meeting space. 14:00.658 --> 14:09.651 [SPEAKER_01]: If you've got to make a phone call or work and you need quiet and you keep going someplace and spending $15 on lunch so you can use their Wi-Fi. 14:09.711 --> 14:11.413 [SPEAKER_01]: You can do that at the library. 14:11.474 --> 14:13.516 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, you can use their printers. 14:13.556 --> 14:14.478 [SPEAKER_01]: You can use copy it. 14:14.518 --> 14:18.263 [SPEAKER_01]: Like there's all these services and they're just 14:18.817 --> 14:24.542 [SPEAKER_01]: That sort of dopamine hit that you get from shopping and also the one that you get from getting away with something. 14:24.682 --> 14:26.624 [SPEAKER_01]: It's like you get them both in one? 14:27.164 --> 14:27.785 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 14:27.805 --> 14:29.326 [SPEAKER_01]: It's so true. 14:29.346 --> 14:30.247 [SPEAKER_01]: It's a comfort for sure. 14:31.708 --> 14:35.912 [SPEAKER_01]: I also just wanted to put in a quick little plug for reciprocal membership. 14:35.952 --> 14:48.503 [SPEAKER_01]: Set is something that it's not exactly the library because that's something more like where you'd have to go to a local art museum or history museum and see if the membership comes with a reciprocal membership 14:48.483 --> 14:52.268 [SPEAKER_01]: You might be able to get for free into museums and other cities. 14:52.889 --> 14:53.750 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I have. 14:53.770 --> 14:59.016 [SPEAKER_00]: I always wanted to like, like, utilize this more than I have. 14:59.237 --> 15:04.423 [SPEAKER_00]: So you just mean, like, if you are a member at one place, check to see where else that might get you in for free. 15:04.583 --> 15:06.806 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, there's something called norm. 15:06.886 --> 15:09.690 [SPEAKER_01]: There's probably other ones too, but the one I'm familiar with is called norm. 15:10.431 --> 15:14.676 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's an ARM, and we can link to that in the show notes, but they have 15:14.791 --> 15:16.754 [SPEAKER_01]: a whole directory of participating. 15:16.794 --> 15:28.435 [SPEAKER_01]: I think there's this mostly history and art, but so let's pretend that you belong to your local art museum as a member and they're a participating member of this reciprocal arrangement. 15:28.936 --> 15:34.926 [SPEAKER_01]: If you have the right kind of membership, sometimes it has to be a certain level, but that would get you that same level. 15:35.851 --> 15:38.435 [SPEAKER_01]: of entry, let's say, into another. 15:38.455 --> 15:42.722 [SPEAKER_01]: So if you have a family membership at one, it should get you family membership benefits to another. 15:43.002 --> 15:44.064 [SPEAKER_01]: Cool, just an example. 15:44.625 --> 15:55.903 [SPEAKER_01]: And I would love to one day do a whole episode about solo dates with ourselves because all of these things are so rich for that kind of exploration. 15:55.943 --> 16:02.533 [SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, grab your, you know, your typical past and head 30 minutes away to another town and get to go to their museums for free. 16:02.935 --> 16:03.877 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I love this. 16:05.060 --> 16:10.995 [SPEAKER_00]: On the library note, well, first of all, I want to say I have not been a very good library patron the last six months or so. 16:11.476 --> 16:12.920 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know why, I'm just out of the habit. 16:13.201 --> 16:17.632 [SPEAKER_00]: But I read my libraries, my public library systems email newsletter. 16:17.652 --> 16:20.218 [SPEAKER_00]: They do a really nice job with their email marketing. 16:20.367 --> 16:32.760 [SPEAKER_00]: It's nothing fancy, but every time it pops in my inbox, I'm like, wow, like the number of things they're doing, like lectures, gardening, like tutorials, things outside, things in the community. 16:32.860 --> 16:44.291 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you are a little rusty on your library usage, like go get yourself a card and or sign up online and even just start paying it. 16:44.451 --> 16:47.134 [SPEAKER_00]: If all you did was pay attention to what they're offering, 16:47.114 --> 16:50.500 [SPEAKER_00]: I bet there's some really cool things happening in your public library. 16:50.760 --> 17:06.328 [SPEAKER_01]: Can we make a quick comment about getting a library card because I feel like if you didn't grow up going to libraries, even that can seem much more like a scary thing than it is, at least at my library, it is super easy. 17:06.468 --> 17:08.532 [SPEAKER_01]: You just go and show them your driver's license. 17:08.512 --> 17:10.397 [SPEAKER_01]: and they just give you a chance. 17:10.617 --> 17:11.881 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not hard at all. 17:12.161 --> 17:13.625 [SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to do a credit report. 17:13.645 --> 17:16.512 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, they're not going to like, they're not going to check. 17:16.532 --> 17:18.036 [SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to bring in pieces of mail. 17:18.076 --> 17:19.360 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, some places might be different. 17:19.400 --> 17:21.285 [SPEAKER_01]: But in mine, it's very, very easy. 17:22.107 --> 17:23.691 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's immediate. 17:23.992 --> 17:24.192 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 17:24.357 --> 17:25.519 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, no, they want you. 17:25.599 --> 17:27.122 [SPEAKER_00]: They want you using that right away. 17:27.322 --> 17:27.562 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. 17:27.823 --> 17:28.343 [SPEAKER_00]: Yep. 17:28.544 --> 17:31.268 [SPEAKER_00]: R's even has a certain level of library membership. 17:31.308 --> 17:35.375 [SPEAKER_00]: You can sign up for online and get a media access to some of their online resources. 17:35.475 --> 17:47.074 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I think it's sort of like a limited, like if you wanted to do library of things or some of the other things you would have to go in and probably show your residency or something, but yeah, they want it to be easy. 17:47.054 --> 17:50.342 [SPEAKER_00]: So this is reading related and I'll just mention it now. 17:50.363 --> 17:54.934 [SPEAKER_00]: This is not something I've done, but this is completely free and something I would like to do. 17:54.974 --> 18:00.910 [SPEAKER_00]: And that is to read the same book as a friend and talk about it. 18:00.970 --> 18:04.118 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, it could be a long distance friend, it could be worked into your 18:04.098 --> 18:26.005 [SPEAKER_00]: weekly phone chats but doing a buddy read I think this is like becoming a little more trendy almost like a book club But like way lower stakes in a book club But just like oh my gosh, let's read this same book at the same time and talk and and chat about it So I feel like my mom and I have read a lot of the same books, but not always at the same time You and I have read some like similar books at similar times 18:25.985 --> 18:36.498 [SPEAKER_00]: It wouldn't take, it's not a heavy lift to do that a tiny bit more intentionally, you know, and I just think it could be a fun thing to keep you reading, keep you connected to a friend. 18:37.179 --> 18:42.085 [SPEAKER_00]: I still aspire to book clubbery at some point in mid-life. 18:42.105 --> 18:46.491 [SPEAKER_00]: I just haven't like done it, so this feels like a babysep, but I would like to do. 18:46.977 --> 18:47.498 [SPEAKER_01]: I love that. 18:47.578 --> 18:53.507 [SPEAKER_01]: And I bet you and I have like accidentally done this a couple times where we just happened to be reading the same book around the same time. 18:53.587 --> 18:57.052 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we did it with that one of the more fun that that face. 18:57.072 --> 18:58.694 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, that was really close. 18:58.734 --> 19:02.580 [SPEAKER_00]: I think I read it and you read it like a week or two later and we we chat about it. 19:02.821 --> 19:06.165 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but then sometimes you if you wait too long you forget. 19:06.186 --> 19:09.811 [SPEAKER_01]: So like yes, having a plan to actually read the exact same time is a good idea. 19:09.851 --> 19:10.572 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 19:11.227 --> 19:11.808 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, okay. 19:11.828 --> 19:20.059 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I'm switching to a very a sensory luxury and that is an evening shower or bath and maybe you do this all the time. 19:20.079 --> 19:25.867 [SPEAKER_00]: So maybe this is not out of the ordinary, but for me, an evening shower is kind of an occasional thing. 19:26.488 --> 19:34.939 [SPEAKER_00]: And the way I would make it like extra pampering is just take, you know, the showers or baths where you do all the things all your legs. 19:35.206 --> 19:40.574 [SPEAKER_00]: maybe you have an extra conditioning treatment or a mask or something that you don't do every time. 19:40.634 --> 19:50.188 [SPEAKER_00]: For me, I might like remove any old polish from my nails and toenails and file those after I get out, like literally like the full reset, like the full meal deal. 19:50.669 --> 19:55.816 [SPEAKER_00]: And doing that in the evening is such a nice physical wind down. 19:55.876 --> 20:00.403 [SPEAKER_00]: I know we talked about heat and cold therapy, so this is a little like slight repeat from, 20:00.383 --> 20:15.709 [SPEAKER_00]: a recent episode but the best thing would be to do that early in the evening and get into bed at an absurdly early time like 745 or 8 or something with a book and then I had clean if I had just washed my sheets as a 20:15.689 --> 20:20.696 [SPEAKER_00]: that would be that entire thing would cost nothing because I would already have the products. 20:20.716 --> 20:23.520 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not talking about going out and getting products or anything. 20:24.681 --> 20:35.596 [SPEAKER_00]: But just gifting yourself like a super long wind down, ignoring everything else that's happening in your house and getting into bed by eight o'clock in clean sheets with a book and a clean body. 20:35.656 --> 20:37.298 [SPEAKER_00]: That just sounds so nice. 20:37.339 --> 20:38.440 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to do it today. 20:39.314 --> 20:55.686 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, there is nothing to me more luxurious than getting into bed early enough that you can read sitting up and that means by what, by what I mean by that is I always read in bed before I fall asleep, but often it's like I get in horizontal, yeah, me too. 20:56.105 --> 21:12.088 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm just reading on my Kindle for like 10 minutes and so it's not the same as when you get in there early enough that you're like, okay, I'm going to fluff the pillows, I'm going to turn on my bedside lamp, I'm going to get myself real snuggly and cuddly and like 21:12.068 --> 21:15.754 [SPEAKER_01]: spend some very intentional time in bed. 21:15.794 --> 21:31.019 [SPEAKER_01]: And if you did it after having taken a long bath or shower with all the things and like, I don't know, you know, maybe have a tea with you or something, like make a whole thing of it and just spend like an hour sitting up and bed feels amazing. 21:31.259 --> 21:31.920 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 21:32.140 --> 21:38.751 [SPEAKER_01]: I was gonna add about while you're in the bath, I find that using a gouache tool on your whole body, 21:38.731 --> 21:48.505 [SPEAKER_01]: in the bath is nice, like, I get really tight calves and my shins and you can kind of use that, you know, the little edge of the gouache of tool that kind of pokes out, yeah, you know. 21:48.755 --> 21:52.959 [SPEAKER_01]: you can really get into those fascia areas, which feels really nice. 21:53.579 --> 22:01.646 [SPEAKER_01]: And a homemade scrub, you can make it with some kosher salt or any salt or sugar and a few drops of oil. 22:01.966 --> 22:13.336 [SPEAKER_01]: And if you have like an essential oil, a drop or two of that and just like it will take you five minutes and then you will have a like a spa scrub is basically those ingredients. 22:13.356 --> 22:18.660 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I guess I didn't realize, but I know people do make their own homemade scrub. 22:18.640 --> 22:21.646 [SPEAKER_00]: But I guess I just didn't realize like that, it's that, that easy. 22:22.027 --> 22:23.009 [SPEAKER_01]: It really is that easy. 22:23.069 --> 22:30.904 [SPEAKER_01]: Now, if you wanted to have like chunks of rose petals and stuff in it, that's a little bit different, but the basic ingredients are salt or sugar and oil. 22:31.365 --> 22:31.626 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 22:32.006 --> 22:33.229 [SPEAKER_01]: And then something with smells good. 22:33.509 --> 22:34.371 [SPEAKER_01]: So... 22:34.351 --> 22:42.288 [SPEAKER_00]: Just putting this on a Monday morning, but I want it to be like Sunday night again, and just like actually gonna go to bed at five o'clock tonight. 22:42.328 --> 22:45.695 [SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, oh my gosh. 22:45.915 --> 22:51.988 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so this next one I have is maybe a little bit more 22:51.968 --> 23:09.328 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, it's a little vagueer, I don't have a super, it's not like use a gouache and make a salt scrub, but it's to pair activities together in a way that feels special and maybe a little curated, I mentioned at the very beginning, I love to sit outside with the beverage. 23:09.348 --> 23:21.081 [SPEAKER_01]: Like if I go to a restaurant and the weather, I know you live in California where the weather is often nice enough, but in Michigan we have a window of time where it's like sitting on a patio weather. 23:21.702 --> 23:22.464 [SPEAKER_01]: to do that. 23:23.025 --> 23:27.415 [SPEAKER_01]: And that restaurant happens to have space available on their patio or their deck. 23:27.956 --> 23:32.587 [SPEAKER_01]: Something about it seems to up the luxury level for me like 10X. 23:32.888 --> 23:33.028 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 23:33.751 --> 23:40.483 [SPEAKER_01]: Now, that is something that I will continue to spend money on because I like it and I do that sometimes. 23:41.285 --> 23:46.635 [SPEAKER_01]: But you know, I can also just take a beverage outside my own house. 23:46.655 --> 23:49.259 [SPEAKER_01]: And it still feels pretty luxurious. 23:49.319 --> 23:50.902 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it's not 10x. 23:50.922 --> 23:52.085 [SPEAKER_01]: But it's like 5x. 23:52.605 --> 23:53.447 [SPEAKER_01]: Now say... 23:53.765 --> 24:02.114 [SPEAKER_01]: you put that beverage into a travel mug and you take it to the beach or on a hike and then enjoy it along the trail. 24:02.214 --> 24:05.798 [SPEAKER_01]: Now I feel like I'm up in the 15 to 20x range. 24:05.898 --> 24:21.595 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because I'm indulging in like multiple sensory experiences together and I'm sort of curating a whole experience for myself in the way we might expect that we have to wait for someone else to do for us. 24:21.693 --> 24:37.808 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, it just takes that little bit of extra forethought is all is like, yeah, I'm as you're talking, I'm thinking about in the stage of life, I do still spend quite a bit of time, like driving somewhere to get a kid or waiting for a kid somewhere. 24:37.828 --> 24:50.080 [SPEAKER_00]: And every time that I pack myself a little snack to look forward to or I save a podcast episode or choose a music like 24:50.060 --> 24:54.806 [SPEAKER_00]: a sensory pleasure for myself, and every time I do, it's so much better. 24:54.946 --> 25:03.477 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, you said, curating the experience as opposed to letting life just, like, throw at whatever it's got at you. 25:04.098 --> 25:07.503 [SPEAKER_01]: And we like to kind of, you know, make fun of expensive travel bugs. 25:07.583 --> 25:08.003 [SPEAKER_01]: I get it. 25:08.063 --> 25:11.548 [SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes they're a little bit outlandish, how much they cost. 25:11.568 --> 25:11.948 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 25:11.968 --> 25:15.513 [SPEAKER_01]: But I think the one I have that I used the most was $40. 25:15.593 --> 25:18.877 [SPEAKER_01]: It's my T and Fuser mug. 25:19.218 --> 25:19.358 [SPEAKER_01]: Uh-huh. 25:20.131 --> 25:21.213 [SPEAKER_01]: all the time. 25:22.094 --> 25:22.775 [SPEAKER_01]: All the time. 25:23.016 --> 25:27.123 [SPEAKER_01]: I have probably made 200 mugs of tea with me. 25:27.163 --> 25:30.168 [SPEAKER_01]: Now, by the way, it's the same tea I made for myself in the morning. 25:30.208 --> 25:31.730 [SPEAKER_01]: So I had my mug I sat around. 25:31.851 --> 25:35.397 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I did my thing in the morning with my morning situation. 25:36.078 --> 25:45.193 [SPEAKER_01]: And then, if I, there's a little bit left, or if I, if I have enough life left in the leaves to re-steep them, I just do it in the travel mug. 25:45.173 --> 25:49.262 [SPEAKER_01]: and take it with me when I go, and so now it's like, okay, I've got this thing to take with me. 25:49.282 --> 25:53.171 [SPEAKER_01]: There's no reason for me to go spend money on this particular thing. 25:53.191 --> 25:54.173 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe there's something else. 25:54.674 --> 25:56.498 [SPEAKER_01]: I'd like to spend money on today, but not this. 25:56.719 --> 25:56.899 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 25:56.999 --> 26:00.988 [SPEAKER_01]: And now I could take it to the beach and sit on a bench and have a little time. 26:01.154 --> 26:05.618 [SPEAKER_00]: speaking of things that go the distance that you can sit on. 26:05.878 --> 26:06.959 [SPEAKER_00]: I have a blanket. 26:07.440 --> 26:09.421 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I was thinking like, you've got your mug. 26:09.722 --> 26:14.026 [SPEAKER_00]: I have a blanket that I think I've had it for like six years. 26:14.686 --> 26:19.471 [SPEAKER_00]: It's kind of like a, it's not, I guess it's probably a cotton woven. 26:20.111 --> 26:23.514 [SPEAKER_00]: It almost looks like a throw rug, but it is a beach blanket. 26:23.574 --> 26:24.195 [SPEAKER_00]: Does that make sense? 26:24.235 --> 26:29.980 [SPEAKER_01]: But is it one of those ones that 26:29.960 --> 26:44.982 [SPEAKER_00]: And when I bought it, I remember feeling like it was a little splurge for myself, but it is so, it's nice and thick, it's not water resistant, it's not fancy, it's not high tech, I will post a link. 26:44.962 --> 27:05.046 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, like I said, it almost looks like a like a throw rug rather than a blanket, but it is a beach blanket and having that and just having that to put on a cold, uh, a cold bench or a cold bleacher if I'm a pilot's cheer game, um, again is like the, the thing I bought once that makes those, um, experiences just a, a notch up. 27:05.650 --> 27:33.160 [SPEAKER_01]: Alright, well, I just have one more, and this is the perfect time of year for it because there are flowers everywhere outside, and I just wanted to say that any time I have fresh flowers on my kitchen table, even if they're weeds out of my yard, yep, it is luxurious, it feels like a comfort, if I can't find them anywhere, you know, for whatever reason nothing is growing, 27:33.140 --> 27:51.773 [SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes you can find them really cheap like at a roadside stand when I go to the farmer's market where we get our milk and a few other things Often the farmer's kids are selling little bunches of flowers for like a buck So there's places to find them that's not like walking into your grocery store and you know getting kind of 27:51.922 --> 28:14.301 [SPEAKER_01]: like spending top dollar on not that great flowers yeah you can with a little extra work find them but there's probably something growing in your backyard or your neighborhood that you can take and I don't mean out of someone's yard but you know like out of the boulevard or out of your own yard out of a out of a public park if they allow it there's just there's lots of wildlife out there and it feels good to put it on our on our counters. 28:14.483 --> 28:17.769 [SPEAKER_00]: It does, and I love this tip so much. 28:17.829 --> 28:21.135 [SPEAKER_00]: And I go through phases where I'm better at this than others. 28:21.195 --> 28:25.864 [SPEAKER_00]: But if you also have little jars or little bud vases, you can get them at the thrift store for $2. 28:27.267 --> 28:33.538 [SPEAKER_00]: Small vases can really elevate little hand picked things. 28:33.679 --> 28:34.500 [SPEAKER_00]: And so like, 28:34.480 --> 28:44.471 [SPEAKER_00]: Just putting like three or four small bud vases on your counter or on a dining room table and then filling them even grasses and Greenery from your yard. 28:44.491 --> 28:59.627 [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't have to be florals or the florals are pretty So yes, I love this tip if you do have trader Joe's near you the hype is real trader Joe's is Florals are very inexpensive although the exception 28:59.607 --> 29:15.948 [SPEAKER_00]: Super rocket rule you and often it's not a bouquet that someone else has put together It's like a whole bunch of like cat tails or pussy willows more like the things that will last for a very long time They're almost dried or semi-dried so you're not this is not going to wilt in three days. 29:16.448 --> 29:27.302 [SPEAKER_00]: Now that said I have even stopped buying a lot of trader Joe's flowers because I so prefer to just do it for Absolutely free from my yard and yes, I do live in California, but 29:27.282 --> 29:30.066 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, yes, I fully endorse this tip. 29:30.307 --> 29:34.273 [SPEAKER_00]: I love it and I also need to get back to this as spring is upon us. 29:35.235 --> 29:36.697 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, something else I've been doing lately. 29:36.757 --> 29:39.001 [SPEAKER_01]: This happened by accident the first time. 29:39.021 --> 29:45.211 [SPEAKER_01]: I think we went on vacation or something and all the water dried up out of the vase and then the flowers dried really pretty. 29:45.231 --> 29:48.476 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that I was like, and then you just keep them forever. 29:49.077 --> 29:50.600 [SPEAKER_01]: You could just truly keep them out. 29:51.281 --> 29:52.142 [SPEAKER_01]: I guess until they... 29:52.780 --> 30:03.381 [SPEAKER_01]: turn into dust, um, it's not all flowers work that way, you know, roses will just often shed all their paddles, but sometimes not, it's like, I find that like the kind of thicker ones that 30:03.766 --> 30:06.069 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, they just hold together a little bit differently. 30:06.129 --> 30:07.730 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it can look really, really pretty. 30:07.871 --> 30:13.617 [SPEAKER_01]: If you, the key is to make sure when they start to dry out that you empty the water. 30:13.877 --> 30:21.546 [SPEAKER_01]: I think I just lucked out that they didn't mold because that must have been, they must have been drying out just as the water was drying up. 30:22.507 --> 30:23.128 [SPEAKER_01]: It makes sense. 30:23.348 --> 30:23.809 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 30:23.849 --> 30:26.151 [SPEAKER_01]: So anyway, that's another fun thing to try. 30:26.211 --> 30:28.474 [SPEAKER_01]: I think it kind of goes hand in hand with that. 30:28.589 --> 30:39.375 [SPEAKER_01]: It's more satisfying to experiment with yourself and to really understand it and sort of see what's happening with it, then just to buy something at the store, then you have no connection to it. 30:39.440 --> 30:52.180 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think this is just like a general reminder as we get close to wrapping up, but there are binocene groups are usually run through Facebook and there might be other like by cell trade. 30:53.021 --> 31:01.735 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not talking about purchasing secondhand because that in itself can be a little bit of an expensive hobby as someone who gets sucked into buying these secondhand things. 31:01.715 --> 31:12.997 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm talking about by spending nothing and just either getting rid of the stuff you don't want, working out trades or getting stuff for free from somebody who is giving it away. 31:13.098 --> 31:23.318 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm always a little envious of people who have really thriving by nothing groups because the one in my, the whole, if you're not familiar, the whole structure of these by nothing groups, 31:23.635 --> 31:25.438 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, is that they're hyper hyper local. 31:25.519 --> 31:29.907 [SPEAKER_00]: It should be right in your, not just your city or your town, but your immediate area. 31:29.927 --> 31:35.217 [SPEAKER_00]: And my immediate area is kind of spread out and semi rural. 31:35.337 --> 31:43.231 [SPEAKER_00]: And so minus not as active, but I know people who are both shedding the things they don't need, which is its own form of self-care. 31:43.272 --> 31:46.217 [SPEAKER_00]: I think when we're lightening our, our load. 31:46.433 --> 31:51.258 [SPEAKER_00]: but also finding stuff completely for free through their by nothing group. 31:51.298 --> 32:10.496 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you're not, if you haven't dabbled, that is another way, and we talked about the dopamine hit of the library, like the dopamine hit, maybe there's like, maybe someone's getting rid of some um, party supplies or spring decor or something that like, you might just use for a season or two, but if it's going to brighten your mood or brighten your home, and then you'll pass it on to someone else. 32:10.536 --> 32:13.298 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's kind of no harm, no foul, in terms of consumerism. 32:13.959 --> 32:15.040 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, so I love that. 32:15.712 --> 32:32.674 [SPEAKER_01]: I love that and I love, I love just the, I like the re setting of your brain to look there first, or to be open to that as a possibility, I think it can take a little bit of a shift or an adaptation, but once you've made that shift, 32:32.654 --> 32:42.266 [SPEAKER_01]: It really it starts to feel like that is the way like that is the way to experience that and like the satisfaction is just so The levels of satisfaction are so high now. 32:42.346 --> 32:47.593 [SPEAKER_01]: I have not been in a binething group in a long time because I don't really feel like we have great ones here Maybe I'm wrong. 32:47.633 --> 32:52.519 [SPEAKER_01]: I haven't looked lately, but my my experience with binething groups or like 32:52.718 --> 33:19.992 [SPEAKER_00]: free cycle groups was very much it's not like let's just for people who aren't familiar it's not like Facebook Marketplace you're not searching for what you want necessarily it's more people post what they have yes exactly and you pop in and browse and I was thinking about these other these other suggestions we gave today you might find you're not maybe looking for a new gardening project but what if you found that someone was giving away 33:19.972 --> 33:23.399 [SPEAKER_00]: a bunch of cute small pots and some potting soil that they didn't need. 33:23.419 --> 33:28.168 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, just the discovery of it, the, like you said, you're not going on there to search. 33:28.188 --> 33:30.593 [SPEAKER_00]: You're going on there to see what's there. 33:30.753 --> 33:37.948 [SPEAKER_00]: And maybe what's there is a completely free or super cheap little project for you or your family, or for your kids. 33:38.509 --> 33:38.689 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 33:39.125 --> 33:41.608 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, this has been such a fun conversation, Sarah. 33:41.628 --> 33:44.772 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm personally feeling really inspired to lean in. 33:44.912 --> 33:46.474 [SPEAKER_01]: I think I'm going to join my buying nothing, group. 33:46.495 --> 33:47.496 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to see how it is. 33:47.536 --> 33:48.517 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to... 33:48.717 --> 33:49.939 [SPEAKER_01]: I'll give it another fair shake. 33:50.179 --> 33:53.463 [SPEAKER_01]: Facebook has come a long way since I last tried to be part of it. 33:53.544 --> 34:00.232 [SPEAKER_01]: So, we'll see that I also want to give everyone a reminder that you can find our expanded episode story with photos and links. 34:00.252 --> 34:02.415 [SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like this one will have quite a few links. 34:02.395 --> 34:13.038 [SPEAKER_01]: on Substack at midlife, lady, leisure pursuits.substack.com, and that's also where you'll find the special page we have set up with some of our favorite vionic styles. 34:13.599 --> 34:17.949 [SPEAKER_01]: Use the promo code midlife at vionicshoes.com for 15% off. 34:18.450 --> 34:20.294 [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for being here, everybody. 34:20.314 --> 34:20.775 [SPEAKER_00]: We'll talk to you soon.