WEBVTT 00:00.031 --> 00:04.197 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back to another episode of TheGirls.planipycast. 00:04.217 --> 00:05.959 [SPEAKER_00]: It's your favorite homegirl core yell. 00:06.400 --> 00:12.468 [SPEAKER_00]: Here too, I encourage you to stop playing with your potential and start working for what you want in life and in love. 00:13.069 --> 00:23.743 [SPEAKER_00]: You already know that I'm bringing you the information and the conversations to help you make the money and get the honey as long as you are willing to work. 00:24.128 --> 00:26.813 [SPEAKER_00]: I am reporting live from Austin, Texas. 00:26.833 --> 00:30.700 [SPEAKER_00]: Y'all, this is my first time at Austin, and I am loving it so far. 00:31.381 --> 00:37.773 [SPEAKER_00]: It is all of the things that I've heard about it, progressive, they have so much going on. 00:37.893 --> 00:45.647 [SPEAKER_00]: I pulled up into the valley for the hotel last night, and they had the little guys that drive the bikes downtown. 00:46.370 --> 00:54.519 [SPEAKER_00]: I am having a fun time, but I'm here for the Mom 2.0 conference where I am looking forward to meeting in a bunch of amazing mom creators. 00:54.559 --> 01:02.868 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you happen to be tuning into this podcast because we met at the conference, hey girl, hey, welcome to my world. 01:02.908 --> 01:16.242 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm happy that you're here and definitely make sure you check out all of my resources to assist you and support you and growing your own podcast. 01:16.728 --> 01:21.578 [SPEAKER_00]: that it is time to stop playing and stop feeding those parasites. 01:22.059 --> 01:24.223 [SPEAKER_00]: This is a true girl's stop playing moment. 01:24.263 --> 01:28.332 [SPEAKER_00]: It is a reflection for myself and some encouragement for you. 01:29.153 --> 01:36.829 [SPEAKER_00]: I have found myself so frustrated so many times over the years, especially as an entrepreneur. 01:37.231 --> 01:50.686 [SPEAKER_00]: where I have, you know, been head down, doing the work, being original, coming up with these ideas or should I say, making moves on the God given ideas because they're not mine, they've always come through God and yes, I know that. 01:51.186 --> 02:02.479 [SPEAKER_00]: But take an action on these ideas that I truly feel like came to me organically, came to me in prayer and came to me during meditation and doing the heart work 02:03.016 --> 02:11.950 [SPEAKER_00]: The people around me who are in all of this hard work, who are watching me do this hard work, who don't necessarily want to help me with the work. 02:11.990 --> 02:18.079 [SPEAKER_00]: Don't necessarily want to help me win, but they want to benefit from the win once I'm winning. 02:19.121 --> 02:23.207 [SPEAKER_00]: And I saw this post earlier shout out to Justin, new H.C.E.O. 02:23.227 --> 02:27.353 [SPEAKER_00]: He was talking about the parasites that he found in his circle of the people who he been. 02:27.535 --> 02:50.961 [SPEAKER_00]: networking with and quote unquote you know trying to see that seeing as his peers and trying to do business with but these peers really turned out to be parasites and not partners and have the audacity to ask you for advice, have the audacity to ask you for help after they've actively watched you struggle and so this is a 02:51.633 --> 03:00.384 [SPEAKER_00]: Check myself moment, but you know, I love to share those moments with y'all because I feel like I go through things so that I can take y'all through these things too. 03:00.745 --> 03:02.327 [SPEAKER_00]: So that you don't have to learn the hard way. 03:02.868 --> 03:08.936 [SPEAKER_00]: But there are so many people who I feel like silly for letting them play in my face. 03:09.036 --> 03:10.738 [SPEAKER_00]: So many people who I allowed. 03:11.123 --> 03:30.111 [SPEAKER_00]: up close and personal in my circle in my space shared nuggets shared secret shared ideas shared strategies supported only to look up years down the line and realize that these people weren't truly looking to partner with me they were truly just parasites and so 03:30.715 --> 03:36.341 [SPEAKER_00]: these are the type of people if you're wondering like am I, you know, surrounded by any parasites of it. 03:36.361 --> 03:37.543 [SPEAKER_00]: What should I be on the lookout for? 03:37.563 --> 03:49.396 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to share with you a couple questions you should ask yourself, but these are the type of people who are wanting to benefit from the premium features of your life, right? 03:49.436 --> 03:51.057 [SPEAKER_00]: They want access to you. 03:51.097 --> 03:52.919 [SPEAKER_00]: They want access to you as a resource. 03:52.939 --> 03:55.042 [SPEAKER_00]: They want access to what you have access to. 03:55.082 --> 04:00.688 [SPEAKER_00]: They want access to your people, access to your plugs. 04:02.322 --> 04:10.151 [SPEAKER_00]: without paying the price to maintain the relationship without ensuring that they are bringing something to the table. 04:10.231 --> 04:15.577 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm talking about the takers in your life who pull up with an empty plate. 04:16.037 --> 04:22.665 [SPEAKER_00]: Have the nerve to sometimes complain and critique the plate, but still walk away without paying for said plate. 04:22.685 --> 04:31.114 [SPEAKER_00]: These are the parasites that we have to stop feeding because feeding a 04:32.849 --> 04:37.977 [SPEAKER_00]: Feeding a parasite is not magically going to have some type of positive impact on your life. 04:39.118 --> 04:44.807 [SPEAKER_00]: Being the bigger person, which so many of us aspire to be the bigger person. 04:44.967 --> 04:53.781 [SPEAKER_00]: Y'all love quote Michelle Obama talking about when they go, hello, we go, hi y'all love being the bigger person, but being the bigger person isn't always what's best for you. 04:55.343 --> 04:58.688 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you just have to be the person that says, bye bye. 04:59.174 --> 05:26.599 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes being the bigger person is saying goodbye and not sitting around not allowing people to pretend like they're supporting you when they're really sitting on the sidelines, when they're really critiquing you with no constructive criticism tied to it, we beat ourselves up for feeling some type of way about these people, when in reality, and usually as after they burn us, we 05:26.849 --> 05:27.910 [SPEAKER_00]: meant us no good. 05:27.950 --> 05:33.836 [SPEAKER_00]: They brought nothing positive in our lives because they truly were a parasite. 05:34.837 --> 05:52.896 [SPEAKER_00]: So three quick questions you can just ask yourself to kind of filter the relationships that you find yourself in whether they are just friendships, personal relationships, romantic relationships, business relationships, any relationship number one should be reciprocal. 05:53.036 --> 05:56.299 [SPEAKER_00]: What are we doing here 05:56.768 --> 05:59.931 [SPEAKER_00]: and reciprocity is all about give and take. 06:00.471 --> 06:09.280 [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't necessarily have to be equal parts, like we give each other the same exact thing, but what we give each other, we should feel like they're of equal value. 06:09.580 --> 06:17.608 [SPEAKER_00]: We should feel like the exchange is complimentary, not like I'm giving given giving 80% and I'm only receiving 20%. 06:17.628 --> 06:23.333 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, now again, I'm not saying it has to be an even exchange 06:23.954 --> 06:30.283 [SPEAKER_00]: But do I feel like I am gaining something from this relationship, something valuable from being here? 06:31.144 --> 06:33.587 [SPEAKER_00]: Is this relationship adding to my life? 06:35.130 --> 06:36.191 [SPEAKER_00]: So is it reciprocal? 06:36.592 --> 06:43.381 [SPEAKER_00]: The second way you can filter out your relationships, do you feel guilty when you have to set a boundary? 06:43.401 --> 06:53.235 [SPEAKER_00]: When you have to say no, when you have to have a difficult conversation, is this a person who makes you feel like your boundary 06:54.042 --> 06:57.065 [SPEAKER_00]: Like your boundary for yourself is a burden on them. 06:57.666 --> 07:01.410 [SPEAKER_00]: Like your boundary is something that they have the right to take personally. 07:01.870 --> 07:08.658 [SPEAKER_00]: Is this someone who makes you feel guilty when you want to invest in yourself? 07:08.858 --> 07:16.185 [SPEAKER_00]: Or even if it's not investing in yourself but it's not with yourself choosing yourself when the answer is just no without an explanation, is there guilt attached? 07:17.086 --> 07:23.273 [SPEAKER_00]: And then lastly, do you sense some entitlement in this relationship? 07:23.675 --> 07:36.018 [SPEAKER_00]: an entitlement of your time and entitlement of access to you and entitlement of your access to your resources and entitlement to access to your business. 07:36.458 --> 07:41.127 [SPEAKER_00]: I've had to cut people off personally because we were in the 07:41.832 --> 08:08.751 [SPEAKER_00]: acquaintance growing into friendship space but they felt so entitled to my business and so offended when they didn't have access to it and when I say my business I don't mean like my actual business doing business I mean like my personal business they wanted to know what I had going on that you know in all areas of my life and I'm a private person I don't share everything with everybody and so even someone feeling entitled to your business can be a sign that this is not 08:08.731 --> 08:13.561 [SPEAKER_00]: a relationship that is necessarily going to add value to your life. 08:13.781 --> 08:21.698 [SPEAKER_00]: Today is just meant to be a reminder that in order for you to stop playing with your potential, you got to stop feeding the parasites. 08:22.960 --> 08:28.191 [SPEAKER_00]: I love you, got nothing but love for you, and I will catch you on the next episode.