WEBVTT 00:00.031 --> 00:03.140 [SPEAKER_01]: You're, makes me think one of the stupidest things I've ever done. 00:03.240 --> 00:07.031 [SPEAKER_01]: I was not feeling very well and my aunt, my aunt was all into essential oils. 00:07.171 --> 00:10.681 [SPEAKER_01]: And so if I was sick or had a cold or whatever, she'd take clothes and rub it on me. 00:10.721 --> 00:12.868 [SPEAKER_01]: Sure, tell me to rub it on my chest, whatever. 00:13.108 --> 00:15.154 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I was like, I'm gonna take a hot bath. 00:16.450 --> 00:32.563 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, hmm, some good essential oil therapy and it will be got so chopped up, chopped up, I drop a bunch of these clove oil drops in the hot bath, getting the bath, sink in, smell the clove, and all of the sudden, it's like the tip of my penis is dipped in acid. 00:32.683 --> 00:36.771 [SPEAKER_03]: I was like, ah, I'm all like, what, what, I was like, 00:38.489 --> 00:41.192 [SPEAKER_03]: It was like, everyone clove in the bathtub when it burns. 00:41.232 --> 00:42.533 [SPEAKER_01]: She was like, oh yeah. 00:42.594 --> 00:43.314 [SPEAKER_01]: You can't do that. 00:43.334 --> 00:44.976 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, you put that on your label. 00:44.996 --> 00:50.202 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, we're not gonna do that. 00:50.222 --> 00:50.702 [UNKNOWN]: We're not gonna do that. 00:50.722 --> 00:51.283 [UNKNOWN]: We're not gonna do that. 00:51.303 --> 00:52.084 [UNKNOWN]: We're not gonna do that. 00:52.104 --> 00:52.605 [UNKNOWN]: We're not gonna do that. 00:52.625 --> 00:53.105 [UNKNOWN]: We're not gonna do that. 00:53.125 --> 00:53.626 [UNKNOWN]: We're not gonna do that. 00:53.646 --> 00:54.246 [UNKNOWN]: We're not gonna do that. 00:54.266 --> 00:54.747 [UNKNOWN]: We're not gonna do that. 00:54.767 --> 00:55.328 [SPEAKER_05]: We're not gonna do that. 00:55.348 --> 00:57.550 [SPEAKER_05]: We're not gonna do that. 00:57.570 --> 00:58.591 [SPEAKER_01]: We're not gonna do that. 00:58.611 --> 00:59.772 [SPEAKER_05]: We're not gonna do that. 00:59.792 --> 01:00.854 [SPEAKER_05]: We're not gonna do that. 01:00.894 --> 01:02.335 [SPEAKER_05]: We're not gonna do that. 01:02.435 --> 01:03.036 [SPEAKER_05]: We're not gonna do that. 01:03.056 --> 01:03.817 [SPEAKER_05]: We're not gonna do that. 01:03.837 --> 01:04.638 [SPEAKER_05]: We're not gonna do that. 01:04.658 --> 01:05.499 [SPEAKER_05]: We're not gonna do that. 01:05.539 --> 01:05.779 [SPEAKER_05]: We're 01:06.164 --> 01:11.691 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I left an hour ago and somehow it was actually like five hours ago. 01:11.711 --> 01:13.052 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 01:13.072 --> 01:14.895 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, hold day, just flew by. 01:14.915 --> 01:16.577 [SPEAKER_01]: So we got to love it. 01:16.597 --> 01:17.638 [SPEAKER_01]: The world is our oyster. 01:18.279 --> 01:21.523 [SPEAKER_01]: Are you, do you like to, are you a planner? 01:22.184 --> 01:23.505 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, for the most part. 01:23.565 --> 01:26.749 [SPEAKER_05]: Yes, in daily life, yes. 01:26.909 --> 01:30.754 [SPEAKER_05]: Am I also somebody who just loves to be spontaneous and be like, 01:31.628 --> 01:35.976 [SPEAKER_05]: Let's book a flight tomorrow and get the hell out of here. 01:36.017 --> 01:37.909 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. 01:38.328 --> 01:40.811 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, and I'm not a big planner. 01:40.871 --> 01:44.274 [SPEAKER_01]: I really, like I will make a dinner or as, but even that, like, especially. 01:44.314 --> 01:50.101 [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm here and we were gonna go to dinner someplace for one of my friends' works. 01:50.161 --> 01:55.927 [SPEAKER_01]: So we can like, two birds, one stone, see a friend, well, now and I are in town, while God's a dinner or whatever. 01:56.568 --> 01:58.109 [SPEAKER_01]: But he got caught off work tonight. 01:58.690 --> 02:03.876 [SPEAKER_01]: And so, making the reservation at this place though, like, even though it's literally, we would have to leave in two hours. 02:03.916 --> 02:07.980 [SPEAKER_01]: The fact that they wanted a credit card in case we didn't show up, 02:08.197 --> 02:14.265 [SPEAKER_01]: That's a commitment, are we seeing Charlie tonight or no? 02:14.926 --> 02:15.487 [SPEAKER_01]: I hope so. 02:15.627 --> 02:17.329 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 02:17.349 --> 02:19.211 [SPEAKER_01]: We're in a very limbo staying alive. 02:19.312 --> 02:22.476 [SPEAKER_05]: We're going to just record a podcast and we'll figure out dinner afterwards. 02:24.138 --> 02:29.545 [SPEAKER_05]: So a lot of times we sit down and start talking and we do our phone a friend at the end. 02:30.006 --> 02:30.306 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. 02:31.047 --> 02:32.649 [SPEAKER_05]: But you got a DM the other day. 02:32.669 --> 02:34.051 [SPEAKER_01]: I did. 02:34.331 --> 02:35.353 [SPEAKER_05]: That was so good. 02:35.413 --> 02:37.275 [SPEAKER_05]: And by so good. 02:38.707 --> 02:42.212 [SPEAKER_05]: It, I mean, it brought up an interesting topic. 02:43.253 --> 02:43.674 [SPEAKER_03]: Right. 02:44.215 --> 02:46.959 [SPEAKER_05]: And you have permission to read the DM without saying the person's name. 02:46.999 --> 02:47.359 [SPEAKER_01]: I do. 02:47.439 --> 02:51.866 [SPEAKER_01]: So just a second, I'm going to... You have to dig through our text, just please. 02:51.886 --> 02:52.727 [SPEAKER_05]: It's been a hot second. 02:55.491 --> 02:56.372 [SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm. 02:56.392 --> 02:56.813 [SPEAKER_01]: Set-wips. 02:57.574 --> 02:58.555 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm faced timing you. 03:00.239 --> 03:20.998 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I'll write here clearly we're on a practice two weeks goes by and I mean the more I them how often I feel like no offense, but you know how there's a stigma around elderly people with technology and phones like like friends who can whip out their phone and be recording 03:21.451 --> 03:22.593 [SPEAKER_05]: in two seconds. 03:22.613 --> 03:23.895 [SPEAKER_01]: I swear to God, it's hard for me. 03:23.956 --> 03:30.227 [SPEAKER_01]: You can start the happy birthday song and you better not be singing it too fast because I don't even be recording a video in the first name. 03:30.367 --> 03:36.218 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, literally it's so, so that's, you know, it takes me minute to get it all, but I found, I found the message. 03:36.238 --> 03:43.231 [SPEAKER_05]: Hold on, speaking of it's so funny that you said that, though, because I don't know if you saw my Instagram story or not because you didn't actually say anything to me. 03:43.551 --> 03:45.535 [SPEAKER_05]: So I'm guessing you didn't see this. 03:45.633 --> 03:47.335 [SPEAKER_05]: the other day, I'm sitting on my couch. 03:47.716 --> 03:55.546 [SPEAKER_05]: It's kind of like this hour, like the four o'clock hour, and I'm home alone, and the dogs start barking like crazy, and they go running to the front door. 03:55.766 --> 03:57.348 [SPEAKER_05]: And I'm like, what are you guys barking at? 03:57.368 --> 04:00.653 [SPEAKER_05]: There's nobody here, but I get up, I go, look, there's nobody at the front door. 04:00.673 --> 04:07.101 [SPEAKER_05]: I go back to the couch, and as I'm about to sit down on the couch, the dogs start going crazy again, and I've got, 04:07.503 --> 04:13.833 [SPEAKER_05]: shades on the doors that lead out to the backyard, but they're very thin shades like linen, so I could see out there. 04:13.853 --> 04:16.377 [SPEAKER_05]: And I see that the bushes are moving quite a bit. 04:17.178 --> 04:18.620 [SPEAKER_05]: And I'm like, what the hell? 04:20.182 --> 04:22.826 [SPEAKER_05]: So I'm a little worried, like, is there a coyote out there? 04:22.967 --> 04:25.991 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, yes, in the bushes, because they're not like moving a little bit. 04:26.011 --> 04:28.515 [SPEAKER_05]: There's something happening with the bushes. 04:29.626 --> 04:32.791 [SPEAKER_05]: And I always have my phone in my hand because it's an appendage at this point. 04:32.871 --> 04:33.031 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 04:33.432 --> 04:38.219 [SPEAKER_05]: And I open the door, but I only crack it because I don't want the dogs to run out in case it is like a coyote or something. 04:38.640 --> 04:41.725 [SPEAKER_05]: And I open the door and I'm standing there and I hear, pop, pop. 04:42.306 --> 04:43.908 [SPEAKER_05]: And I'm like, oh my God. 04:44.329 --> 04:46.633 [SPEAKER_05]: And I whip my phone out and I start recording. 04:47.915 --> 04:49.457 [SPEAKER_05]: So my neighbor behind me. 04:50.129 --> 04:53.273 [SPEAKER_05]: has like refused to trim his trees for the last like three years. 04:53.613 --> 04:55.736 [SPEAKER_05]: And I keep saying like your trees are too high. 04:55.796 --> 04:57.177 [SPEAKER_05]: We're not even allowed to have them this high. 04:57.198 --> 05:00.081 [SPEAKER_05]: You've got to cut them down and like cut them back and hand, and cut them back. 05:01.342 --> 05:02.043 [UNKNOWN]: Bop, bop, bop. 05:02.604 --> 05:03.465 [SPEAKER_05]: Oh my gosh. 05:03.805 --> 05:08.171 [SPEAKER_05]: One of the trees that's like 50 feet tall broke. 05:08.191 --> 05:12.996 [SPEAKER_05]: And I had it all on video and just came crashing down on to my property. 05:13.017 --> 05:20.085 [SPEAKER_05]: So like took out a huge chunk of my hedges. 05:20.268 --> 05:22.010 [SPEAKER_05]: Like I said, it was like four o'clock in the afternoon. 05:22.070 --> 05:24.554 [SPEAKER_05]: Like a lot of times the dogs are outside at that time. 05:24.574 --> 05:27.577 [SPEAKER_05]: They love going under those hedges because it's shady for them. 05:27.658 --> 05:30.021 [SPEAKER_05]: So like they like to go out there and just kind of sit under there. 05:30.601 --> 05:33.826 [SPEAKER_05]: I had been laying out at the pool a little bit earlier right next to it. 05:33.906 --> 05:38.371 [SPEAKER_05]: And I'm like watching it happen because it took like a good minute and a half. 05:38.411 --> 05:40.134 [SPEAKER_05]: Like it popped several times. 05:40.314 --> 05:41.716 [SPEAKER_05]: It stopped kind of fell. 05:41.876 --> 05:43.398 [SPEAKER_05]: It stopped and then it fully fell. 05:43.899 --> 05:45.060 [SPEAKER_05]: But the like, 05:45.040 --> 05:51.830 [SPEAKER_05]: heater outside is there like the stand-up heater and I'm like oh my god It's gonna fall in the propane heater, which it did. 05:51.850 --> 05:52.352 [SPEAKER_05]: Oh my god. 05:52.372 --> 05:55.084 [SPEAKER_05]: I was so worried I was like if this propane goes up 05:55.908 --> 05:58.832 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, or the tree the dead tree catches on fire. 05:58.852 --> 06:02.637 [SPEAKER_05]: The tree going to catch on fire like your house and this is L.A. 06:02.677 --> 06:06.022 [SPEAKER_05]: So I'm on the sudden, yeah. 06:06.042 --> 06:09.206 [SPEAKER_05]: Oh my god, thank God, it did land on the heater and knocked it over. 06:09.346 --> 06:16.296 [SPEAKER_05]: It smashed the thing like thank God, like once it fell and nothing worse happened. 06:16.850 --> 06:20.558 [SPEAKER_05]: I went over there and I was able to like pull the heater off from under it, stand it up, okay. 06:21.079 --> 06:25.729 [SPEAKER_05]: But like a week earlier, we had done my photo shoot out there for the beverage line. 06:25.749 --> 06:29.959 [SPEAKER_05]: Could you imagine if I was out there with like a crew of 30 people and a freaking tree fell? 06:30.279 --> 06:31.502 [SPEAKER_05]: No, that's wild. 06:31.722 --> 06:32.624 [SPEAKER_05]: Crazy. 06:32.644 --> 06:34.268 [SPEAKER_05]: So he the neighbor. 06:34.822 --> 06:36.525 [SPEAKER_05]: It can't call him. 06:36.605 --> 06:37.246 [SPEAKER_05]: He came over. 06:37.306 --> 06:38.668 [SPEAKER_05]: He saw what had happened. 06:38.808 --> 06:40.991 [SPEAKER_05]: Like he had a tree person come out. 06:41.071 --> 06:41.652 [SPEAKER_05]: Cleaned up. 06:41.712 --> 06:43.495 [SPEAKER_05]: He knows he has to pay to replay the hedges. 06:44.056 --> 06:47.882 [SPEAKER_05]: And he's trimming back the his very old for going trees. 06:47.902 --> 06:51.728 [SPEAKER_05]: But it was I just thought of that because very, it's so scary. 06:51.748 --> 06:56.695 [SPEAKER_05]: But the fact that I was able to catch it on my phone is one of the chances. 06:56.759 --> 06:58.984 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, like I never have the phone ready to go. 06:59.446 --> 07:00.047 [SPEAKER_01]: Good for you. 07:00.087 --> 07:02.914 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I would have literally like pop pop. 07:03.014 --> 07:05.621 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm still like face ID isn't working. 07:06.102 --> 07:10.853 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I know you don't even need the face ID to do your camera, but when I'm quickly needing to get my camera. 07:10.894 --> 07:11.916 [SPEAKER_01]: I forget all of that. 07:11.896 --> 07:13.538 [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, you can just do my bop on it. 07:13.618 --> 07:14.259 [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly. 07:14.279 --> 07:17.843 [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, oh my god, then it's front facing and I have to turn it around. 07:17.863 --> 07:18.904 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's always a thing. 07:18.944 --> 07:19.545 [SPEAKER_05]: It's been your body. 07:19.565 --> 07:20.946 [SPEAKER_01]: No, I actually did see that. 07:20.966 --> 07:21.927 [SPEAKER_01]: That was crazy. 07:21.947 --> 07:23.249 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, it was nuts. 07:23.309 --> 07:24.790 [SPEAKER_01]: But I'm glad everybody's okay. 07:24.991 --> 07:27.493 [SPEAKER_01]: And that more damage, like a treat and fall in your house or something. 07:27.514 --> 07:28.455 [SPEAKER_05]: Oh my gosh, seriously. 07:28.495 --> 07:33.500 [SPEAKER_05]: That was my bare fear because some of the trees are so big that if they break at the bottom, they would hit my wrist. 07:33.520 --> 07:33.801 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 07:33.861 --> 07:36.824 [SPEAKER_01]: And this one, like part of this reach split, right? 07:36.964 --> 07:37.084 [SPEAKER_05]: Right. 07:37.104 --> 07:37.785 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, part of it. 07:37.885 --> 07:41.329 [SPEAKER_05]: And at the way it came down, like the hedges stopped it. 07:41.309 --> 07:45.165 [SPEAKER_05]: could have done damage to the pool like someone got in her. 07:45.265 --> 07:48.619 [SPEAKER_05]: So I count my blessings honestly even though is annoying that it happened. 07:49.814 --> 07:51.056 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, anyways. 07:51.076 --> 07:52.318 [SPEAKER_01]: Speaking of counting blessings. 07:54.401 --> 07:56.564 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know that this is the blessing that she's counting. 07:56.644 --> 07:57.024 [SPEAKER_01]: But go on. 07:57.044 --> 08:01.371 [SPEAKER_01]: This is what someone messaged me on Instagram. 08:01.611 --> 08:04.956 [SPEAKER_01]: And with permission, I can share this anonymously. 08:04.976 --> 08:05.797 [SPEAKER_01]: Is that okay, you two? 08:06.338 --> 08:13.408 [SPEAKER_01]: I learned a lot from the anal episode where somehow we're still in a serve. 08:13.642 --> 08:24.695 [SPEAKER_01]: My husband died recently and I found a butt plug and a huge dildo in the garage, and these were not the beginner models, and they were put away, used, ew, and all caps. 08:25.096 --> 08:28.860 [SPEAKER_01]: Your podcast episode answers some questions for me, and affirmed a few things too. 08:29.361 --> 08:33.626 [SPEAKER_01]: Not sure if he had a fetish, or if he was into men or what. 08:34.046 --> 08:36.710 [SPEAKER_01]: I'll never know, and I'm never telling our kids. 08:37.030 --> 08:42.957 [SPEAKER_01]: Weirdly, we never tried to anal in our almost 30 years together, given his interest, laugh emoji. 08:42.937 --> 08:46.862 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, and then just set our loves or podcasts, whatever we moved on from that. 08:46.882 --> 08:50.286 [SPEAKER_01]: But that was the main part that we wanted to talk about in it. 08:50.586 --> 08:58.636 [SPEAKER_05]: Well, and the mate, like, when when when you sent it to me, we started texting because I was like, okay, first of all, like, that's insane. 08:58.676 --> 09:04.803 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, your husband passed and then you find this box that has stuff in it in the garage. 09:05.223 --> 09:06.765 [SPEAKER_05]: And you can't get any answers. 09:06.905 --> 09:08.387 [SPEAKER_05]: So there's never. 09:08.536 --> 09:09.157 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 09:09.377 --> 09:09.878 [SPEAKER_05]: Closure. 09:10.018 --> 09:15.266 [SPEAKER_05]: And so we were talking about like the things that people keep, maybe hide from their significant other. 09:15.406 --> 09:20.053 [SPEAKER_05]: And like, what happens if something God forbid happens to you? 09:20.113 --> 09:21.495 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, you got to have a plan. 09:21.555 --> 09:22.076 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 09:23.098 --> 09:36.197 [SPEAKER_05]: But I just thought about something because when you and I first talked about that, we had, you know, there was one of two thoughts, but I just had a third thought about it, which was either he was into it like a king fetish for himself or he was into guys. 09:36.667 --> 09:47.419 [SPEAKER_05]: And I hate to say this, and I'm not trying to be like the divi downer, but I guess the third thing could be that he had an affair and that it was used on a different person. 09:49.070 --> 09:55.277 [SPEAKER_05]: I would probably lean more towards the kink or in demand. 09:55.738 --> 09:58.961 [SPEAKER_05]: It sounds because I feel like you would at least ask your wife to try that. 09:59.081 --> 09:59.902 [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly. 09:59.942 --> 10:10.635 [SPEAKER_01]: Like there would be more like maybe it's something that you bring up subtly and because your wife doesn't seem interested in it, then maybe you found it something else. 10:10.995 --> 10:17.102 [SPEAKER_05]: But if it had never been brought up that it's probably either there was 10:17.420 --> 10:20.104 [SPEAKER_05]: and interest in enjoying that for himself? 10:21.285 --> 10:21.605 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 10:21.966 --> 10:23.248 [SPEAKER_01]: Which is what I hope it was. 10:23.268 --> 10:25.791 [SPEAKER_01]: I think that's probably what it was. 10:25.891 --> 10:27.974 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think... 10:27.994 --> 10:29.836 [SPEAKER_01]: But she said these were not the beginner models. 10:30.057 --> 10:31.118 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I know. 10:31.138 --> 10:32.400 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, oh, God. 10:32.420 --> 10:32.780 [SPEAKER_01]: It's sensitive. 10:32.800 --> 10:34.462 [SPEAKER_01]: But I want to be like, can you send a pick? 10:34.482 --> 10:36.485 [SPEAKER_01]: I know. 10:36.505 --> 10:36.905 [SPEAKER_01]: I know. 10:36.926 --> 10:37.366 [SPEAKER_01]: I need more. 10:37.386 --> 10:38.307 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm curious. 10:38.327 --> 10:41.071 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just collecting data data data data. 10:42.293 --> 10:46.498 [SPEAKER_01]: The thing to me is, well, first, 10:46.613 --> 10:59.054 [SPEAKER_01]: I think that for an average, I say middle age, but when I say middle age, I mean, like my parent's age, because I'm like, because we're middle age, honey, fuck. 10:59.795 --> 11:03.762 [SPEAKER_01]: But like to, to, to, to, uh, straight. 11:03.742 --> 11:17.275 [SPEAKER_01]: average, like, man, it can feel probably a little bit uncomfortable if you're like into butt stuff on yourself and you to know because there's such a stigma that that automatically means you're gay. 11:17.415 --> 11:17.616 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 11:18.556 --> 11:21.099 [SPEAKER_05]: And I'm not doing your wife for that. 11:21.399 --> 11:21.680 [SPEAKER_05]: Right. 11:21.880 --> 11:25.904 [SPEAKER_05]: To do that to you would maybe make you very uncomfortable to let her. 11:26.384 --> 11:26.624 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 11:26.885 --> 11:27.345 [SPEAKER_01]: No that. 11:27.665 --> 11:29.327 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, but 11:29.307 --> 11:30.569 [SPEAKER_01]: I have more stories. 11:30.929 --> 11:39.380 [SPEAKER_01]: I'll share as we continue talking about this, but but I do, I, you know, I hate for, like, there's so many things. 11:39.501 --> 11:49.394 [SPEAKER_01]: I hate for someone like, oh, she said, when I asked if I could share it, she wrote me and said that when he was dying, he said he bought some stuff. 11:49.414 --> 11:54.741 [SPEAKER_01]: She's going to find some things in the garage that he bought for them to. 11:54.721 --> 11:56.283 [SPEAKER_01]: Try at some time. 11:56.483 --> 11:59.928 [SPEAKER_01]: Like he was covering his tracks saying it was for them to try. 11:59.968 --> 12:02.711 [SPEAKER_01]: But when she sent us the message, she said, this was you. 12:02.891 --> 12:04.493 [SPEAKER_01]: Like she's not buying that. 12:04.513 --> 12:06.356 [SPEAKER_01]: It's what I got from my interaction with her. 12:07.137 --> 12:13.184 [SPEAKER_01]: She believes that he was using it and was and maybe wanted to say it some time. 12:13.204 --> 12:16.088 [SPEAKER_01]: But that's a hard thing because also like. 12:16.068 --> 12:21.936 [SPEAKER_01]: the gender norms of because I have a friend who I know would be okay with me sharing this. 12:22.817 --> 12:25.460 [SPEAKER_01]: I should, you matter, she actually came to my birthday. 12:25.500 --> 12:26.962 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 12:26.982 --> 12:29.245 [SPEAKER_01]: I wonder if people are going to be in the photos now. 12:29.265 --> 12:29.385 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 12:29.746 --> 12:38.397 [SPEAKER_01]: But she had a relationship with a guy and they were total like she was the 12:38.377 --> 12:41.624 [SPEAKER_01]: Dom, and he was totally the submissive. 12:42.185 --> 12:58.461 [SPEAKER_01]: Like he would wear a little lacy underpants and stuff and and no one would know except her and they totally like and she loved dominating him and it was this whole thing but it sounds so crazy but because it's so 12:58.947 --> 13:06.322 [SPEAKER_01]: like usually the women's supposed to be submissive and the men's, I'm doing fear quotes, the man's supposed to be like the aggressive one. 13:06.362 --> 13:09.769 [SPEAKER_01]: So it's interesting because it's just not always the case. 13:09.789 --> 13:11.573 [SPEAKER_05]: I know, I say to each their own. 13:11.954 --> 13:16.062 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but I do want, like I would say to her, 13:16.042 --> 13:24.879 [SPEAKER_01]: um, and hopefully she she's listening to this, that it doesn't have to mean that he had some secret or that he didn't love her. 13:24.899 --> 13:27.023 [SPEAKER_01]: It really is just an embarrassing thing to talk about. 13:27.043 --> 13:31.692 [SPEAKER_01]: And it could be as simple as as something he tried and he liked the sensation. 13:31.732 --> 13:33.295 [SPEAKER_01]: He didn't know how to bring it up. 13:33.555 --> 13:34.076 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 13:34.096 --> 13:34.978 [SPEAKER_01]: So he just 13:34.958 --> 13:53.423 [SPEAKER_05]: masturbated that way sometimes you know I don't even think it's really embarrassing but I think it's a get like you've said it gets deemed embarrassing or like not everybody has the most open conversation not everybody's you and I open books like that's all about six 13:54.415 --> 14:17.082 [SPEAKER_05]: Totally kidding, but it brings up like we were saying like so so many people have these things that they keep whether like your little secrets whatever it might be it doesn't even have to be a sex thing okay question for you help I'm not putting you in the hot seat because you're in a relationship yeah but 14:17.821 --> 14:24.389 [SPEAKER_05]: If you ever had stuff that you've kept from like a previous relationship, maybe you break up with somebody and you have something to be at. 14:25.330 --> 14:30.117 [SPEAKER_05]: Make good photos, love letters, cards, and you're not in another relationship yet. 14:30.137 --> 14:32.860 [SPEAKER_05]: So you still have that stuff and then all of a sudden you go into another relationship. 14:32.880 --> 14:38.107 [SPEAKER_05]: And you're either just not thinking about it or is still holds sentimental value for that place in moment in time. 14:38.147 --> 14:43.153 [SPEAKER_05]: So you're not wanting to get rid of it, but also 14:43.775 --> 14:46.242 [SPEAKER_05]: you don't want the new person to find it. 14:46.483 --> 14:48.167 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's so interesting. 14:48.588 --> 14:52.439 [SPEAKER_01]: And I will just be honest, no, and I haven't talked in depth about this. 14:53.241 --> 14:53.342 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 14:53.362 --> 14:56.029 [SPEAKER_01]: But I, um, 14:56.819 --> 15:04.049 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, the other day, my phone, because you know, sometimes your phone will, like, if you open your photos, it'll show. 15:04.149 --> 15:06.012 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, memory, it's just a memory, whatever. 15:06.072 --> 15:14.844 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, it was showing the memory that wasn't bad, but I was like, oh God, it was a trip that I took, that another guy did go on that trip with me. 15:15.845 --> 15:15.945 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 15:15.965 --> 15:26.640 [SPEAKER_01]: And I realized, because I'm not a very organized, I don't keep a lot, I don't keep photos of my phone, organized, how the things I take I never see again. 15:26.620 --> 15:27.041 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 15:27.982 --> 15:35.636 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure there are things in there that I, I don't intend to have, but I still have. 15:35.716 --> 15:35.896 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 15:36.337 --> 15:41.907 [SPEAKER_01]: And that made me think, oh, I would hate for like a memory that would look really scandalous. 15:41.927 --> 15:43.790 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, if Nell saw my phone, like, why do you have that? 15:43.830 --> 15:44.511 [SPEAKER_03]: Right. 15:44.778 --> 15:53.056 [SPEAKER_01]: But I also believe that he would understand me saying honestly, I had no idea, because he knows that I'm armist and I wear all the time. 15:53.978 --> 16:02.938 [SPEAKER_01]: But on the flip side of that, I do have some things from or like, 16:03.340 --> 16:11.589 [SPEAKER_01]: some pictures that aren't inappropriate or something that are like from past relationships that I keep because they're we're a part of my life. 16:11.669 --> 16:13.391 [SPEAKER_05]: Right, you're not trying to erase your past. 16:13.411 --> 16:20.179 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's not I always found that really strange unless someone was was really you were in an abusive situation or something like that. 16:20.219 --> 16:27.407 [SPEAKER_01]: But for me, it's a fine line, but there's definitely things that I should do is I should clean up a little bit. 16:27.387 --> 16:31.734 [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't realize that was in there and it can go, you know? 16:31.754 --> 16:32.575 [SPEAKER_05]: Interesting. 16:32.856 --> 16:51.184 [SPEAKER_01]: Like I'm sure there are some naked photos in my phone of people that I don't realize are in there, but I haven't gone in to get rid of. 16:52.328 --> 16:57.132 [SPEAKER_05]: photos, text messages, like not all the photos are inappropriate. 16:57.152 --> 17:00.448 [SPEAKER_05]: Some of the photos are just like you said. 17:00.547 --> 17:07.635 [SPEAKER_05]: memories, things like that, text messages that had a lot of meaning that were like very sweet when they were said. 17:07.655 --> 17:11.199 [SPEAKER_05]: So, you know, when things ended, it was like certain things I like want to save. 17:11.219 --> 17:13.262 [SPEAKER_05]: And now look, I'm not in a relationship right now. 17:13.943 --> 17:21.311 [SPEAKER_05]: So the question becomes, if and when, do I need to delete those things or do I get in my allowed to keep those? 17:21.571 --> 17:24.715 [SPEAKER_05]: Because I think if it's not in an appropriate photo, it's 17:25.117 --> 17:26.799 [SPEAKER_05]: Like you said, it's a moment in time. 17:26.880 --> 17:29.664 [SPEAKER_05]: So, but on the other hand, it's like, I don't know. 17:29.684 --> 17:31.847 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't get depends on why you have it. 17:32.187 --> 17:32.608 [SPEAKER_01]: Not you. 17:32.768 --> 17:33.028 [SPEAKER_01]: What? 17:33.149 --> 17:34.330 [SPEAKER_01]: Why is it? 17:34.410 --> 17:34.951 [SPEAKER_05]: Exactly. 17:35.652 --> 17:36.714 [SPEAKER_05]: But it is an interesting thing. 17:36.734 --> 17:43.343 [SPEAKER_05]: Because then, like, look, you're not going to be quick to delete something that has a lot of meaning unless you get into a serious relationships. 17:43.363 --> 17:44.825 [SPEAKER_05]: It's not going to get deleted right away. 17:46.287 --> 17:48.330 [SPEAKER_05]: But I just think about it at all sorts of aspects. 17:48.370 --> 17:50.213 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, you know, I've told you. 17:50.345 --> 17:51.607 [SPEAKER_05]: There's a safe in my closet. 17:52.248 --> 17:53.510 [SPEAKER_05]: God forbid anything happens. 17:53.911 --> 17:55.674 [SPEAKER_05]: You go to my house, you get rid of the safe. 17:55.894 --> 17:56.896 [SPEAKER_05]: You don't need to open the safe. 17:57.216 --> 17:58.478 [SPEAKER_05]: Just to save, go somewhere else. 17:58.718 --> 18:00.021 [SPEAKER_05]: Bottom the ocean, I don't care. 18:00.061 --> 18:04.087 [SPEAKER_05]: It's honestly nothing bad, but it's just, you know, like there's some toys and things in there. 18:04.408 --> 18:05.710 [SPEAKER_05]: That I don't want to domedify. 18:05.810 --> 18:08.073 [SPEAKER_05]: Like that'd be an embarrassing thing for him to have to find. 18:09.115 --> 18:10.277 [SPEAKER_05]: He doesn't need to find it. 18:10.645 --> 18:13.193 [SPEAKER_05]: My friend knows that if the worst happens. 18:13.394 --> 18:17.286 [SPEAKER_05]: Get to say the safe, just needs to get rid of it. 18:17.306 --> 18:19.894 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, like again, this is nothing like so terrible. 18:20.014 --> 18:21.178 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, oh my God. 18:21.631 --> 18:28.963 [SPEAKER_05]: We all have things that like, yes, like there's cards and let, and there's just certain things that like nobody else needs to read and know about Mm-hmm. 18:28.983 --> 18:33.110 [SPEAKER_05]: Those were my those are mine and those are my memories But they should go. 18:33.130 --> 18:33.230 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 18:33.511 --> 18:45.090 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yes So you do like that do people do people have an arrangement of things like you've got to you've got to have my back 18:45.070 --> 18:52.503 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I know are you just willing to let shit hit the fan be messy and go for a bit of the worst happens You're like fuck, I'm gone, doesn't matter. 18:52.983 --> 19:05.104 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I think a good way for someone to check in with themselves where they're how they're feeling in their relationship and they're not even just romantic one But like because if you have 19:06.012 --> 19:07.174 [SPEAKER_01]: I think about this a lot. 19:07.214 --> 19:25.023 [SPEAKER_01]: We talked about this a little bit and kind of in another subject, but because I was in the closet until I was 27 with my parents and a lot of my friends and a lot of people, and I created this alternate universe of myself. 19:25.343 --> 19:31.834 [SPEAKER_01]: And the fact is, there is a time where 19:31.814 --> 19:32.715 [SPEAKER_01]: their findings. 19:32.955 --> 19:36.600 [SPEAKER_01]: They're finding things that are like, oh my God, I thought we knew him so well. 19:36.640 --> 19:36.880 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 19:37.240 --> 19:39.223 [SPEAKER_01]: And look at all of this. 19:39.403 --> 19:43.448 [SPEAKER_01]: And I mean, I mean, things like, like, grinder is a gay dating out. 19:43.468 --> 19:47.192 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm not really scandalous things, but things I was lying about. 19:47.252 --> 19:50.616 [SPEAKER_05]: I was saying that would probably make them be like, why didn't he just tell us? 19:50.636 --> 19:52.359 [SPEAKER_05]: He's like, we feel so bad. 19:52.399 --> 19:53.620 [SPEAKER_05]: He felt like he could and tell us. 19:53.600 --> 19:55.603 [SPEAKER_01]: or he said he was hanging out with his friend. 19:55.643 --> 20:04.358 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, Stephanie, for example, but he was going to meet up with a guy, even though that's like totally fine that I was going to meet up with a guy, I was so embarrassed. 20:04.378 --> 20:09.567 [SPEAKER_01]: And so it makes you think it to me is a good opportunity 20:10.542 --> 20:16.850 [SPEAKER_01]: to be like, okay, am I so compartmentalized? 20:16.870 --> 20:25.542 [SPEAKER_01]: Like are the parts of myself so separate that I need to maybe learn to be more of a friend like you're not. 20:25.922 --> 20:27.645 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I'm not going to be a friend of mine. 20:27.665 --> 20:30.829 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I was just gonna do this the whole time. 20:30.809 --> 20:45.596 [SPEAKER_01]: So, um, because I think without right now, if I died, I think like sure people would find, like some things they didn't know about, or maybe there'd be a bizarre internet search here there, but everyone would be like that tracks, like, you know what I mean? 20:45.616 --> 20:50.285 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think anyone would be in total shock, but I knew someone I worked with. 20:51.467 --> 20:52.429 [SPEAKER_01]: When I, 20:53.033 --> 20:59.102 [SPEAKER_01]: lived in Ohio who he was older than he was more my parent's age. 20:59.122 --> 21:02.086 [SPEAKER_01]: So generation older than me and I was in my 20s at this time and 40 now. 21:04.770 --> 21:15.666 [SPEAKER_01]: And his dad died of AIDS and HIV and was straight. 21:16.085 --> 21:27.748 [SPEAKER_01]: And married to his mom, his mom took care of him until the end, and they didn't really talk about like how he got it, um, but 21:28.859 --> 21:46.345 [SPEAKER_01]: After he died, his mom was going, after his dad died, his mom was going through some boxes and things and found printed glamour shots of his dad dressed up as a woman, totally done makeup, wig, dress off the shoulder, shaved the whole thing. 21:47.945 --> 21:49.628 [SPEAKER_05]: And that would be crazy. 21:49.688 --> 21:54.938 [SPEAKER_05]: That would be, those are the things where it's more like, God, like, that's, like, what's the, who were they? 21:54.958 --> 22:05.117 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you, then it's like, I didn't know my dad or I didn't know my husband or I do feel like they'll, gosh, if your husband's dying of HIV AIDS and you don't pass. 22:05.578 --> 22:10.948 [SPEAKER_05]: Well, you know, or maybe you do ask and they just give you a reason and you brush it over. 22:11.030 --> 22:12.792 [SPEAKER_01]: I just think it was such a different time. 22:12.872 --> 22:23.862 [SPEAKER_01]: So we're talking about, if he was, you know, in his late 40s at the time, and then his dad would have been, you know, probably 20 years older than him. 22:23.942 --> 22:27.044 [SPEAKER_01]: And at the time, like, couples were different. 22:27.124 --> 22:35.872 [SPEAKER_01]: Women didn't ask the same questions of their husbands and I asked him because there's more to the story. 22:35.892 --> 22:36.313 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh God. 22:36.333 --> 22:41.037 [SPEAKER_01]: They also were, they found that in the attic and then they were going to the basement 22:41.017 --> 22:44.661 [SPEAKER_01]: There was like a cold storage room or something like that. 22:45.241 --> 22:49.185 [SPEAKER_01]: They were just going through it hadn't been gone through in years and they found this wire. 22:49.245 --> 22:51.908 [SPEAKER_01]: And they're like, what does this go to when they followed it? 22:52.288 --> 22:55.591 [SPEAKER_01]: And they found it hooked up to an answering machine that was plugged in. 22:55.631 --> 22:57.093 [SPEAKER_01]: And so it was a phone line. 22:57.633 --> 23:02.097 [SPEAKER_01]: And they pressed play to hear like the- What was this? 23:02.118 --> 23:02.698 [SPEAKER_00]: What was this? 23:03.459 --> 23:05.801 [SPEAKER_01]: And it was his dad's voice. 23:06.702 --> 23:07.783 [SPEAKER_01]: But 23:07.763 --> 23:09.005 [SPEAKER_01]: and higher pitch. 23:09.966 --> 23:18.858 [SPEAKER_01]: And um, I don't want to use the real name, but say like if if his dad's name was Tony, it was like, hi, you've reached Tanya. 23:18.878 --> 23:20.400 [SPEAKER_01]: I can't, sorry. 23:20.420 --> 23:23.224 [SPEAKER_01]: I can't take your call right now, but leave a message and I'll call you back. 23:24.386 --> 23:27.510 [SPEAKER_01]: So then it's like, oh, you guys. 23:28.182 --> 23:29.304 [SPEAKER_01]: secrets in it. 23:29.384 --> 23:29.764 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 23:29.784 --> 23:31.908 [SPEAKER_01]: It's so sad to be on so many levels too. 23:31.968 --> 23:36.034 [SPEAKER_05]: It wasn't like when you were before bubble lie, it was like an ongoing thing. 23:36.134 --> 23:36.455 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 23:36.615 --> 23:38.057 [SPEAKER_05]: While you were married with the kids. 23:38.438 --> 23:46.590 [SPEAKER_01]: Well and that and as much like so I feel horrible for everyone who has to uncover those secrets and they never get to really have their questions answered. 23:46.610 --> 23:46.871 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 23:46.891 --> 23:54.342 [SPEAKER_01]: Even when even when there's things that point to certain answers or reasons, it still is like, 23:54.828 --> 23:57.754 [SPEAKER_01]: But why this, or what about this time, or why not? 23:58.055 --> 24:09.999 [SPEAKER_01]: And then I also feel bad for his dad when he was alive, because as someone who, like I said, it was in the closet for so long, you just feel that there's not a world where you get to exist in that way. 24:10.500 --> 24:14.187 [SPEAKER_01]: And so you create a little reality. 24:14.167 --> 24:14.668 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no. 24:14.768 --> 24:15.108 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 24:15.949 --> 24:17.071 [SPEAKER_05]: It's just crazy to me. 24:17.091 --> 24:20.476 [SPEAKER_05]: Like I said, like you stop like, I think I've told you this story. 24:20.796 --> 24:23.019 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm all kind of explained it. 24:23.260 --> 24:29.668 [SPEAKER_05]: So when I moved my dad to LA from Nashville, he was living in Nashville the time. 24:30.049 --> 24:36.618 [SPEAKER_05]: My name is quit on me with no notice because a big time celebrity poached her from me. 24:37.079 --> 24:43.127 [SPEAKER_05]: And she quit and four days later was a beach body cruise that I had to be on. 24:43.259 --> 24:45.122 [SPEAKER_05]: And I had no family here in LA at the time. 24:45.263 --> 24:47.506 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, this was before Kaylee lived here. 24:47.787 --> 24:49.770 [SPEAKER_05]: Bobby was like, there was nobody. 24:49.810 --> 24:53.297 [SPEAKER_05]: And I called my dad and I was like, yeah, you're moving to LA. 24:53.397 --> 24:54.499 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm done with these nannies. 24:54.539 --> 24:56.723 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm done trying to find somebody to watch Dom all the time. 24:56.783 --> 24:58.586 [SPEAKER_05]: Like Kent was traveling for work too. 24:58.666 --> 24:59.367 [SPEAKER_05]: He wasn't around. 25:00.008 --> 25:01.651 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, I was screwed. 25:02.773 --> 25:06.139 [SPEAKER_05]: And my dad was like, okay, and I was like, so I'm hired, like, I just told him. 25:06.179 --> 25:08.423 [SPEAKER_05]: I was like, this is what's happening. 25:08.892 --> 25:10.053 [SPEAKER_01]: This is the day you're moving. 25:10.073 --> 25:11.675 [SPEAKER_05]: This is, yeah, movers will be there. 25:11.695 --> 25:15.460 [SPEAKER_05]: And he was like, okay, so fine, move him here. 25:16.441 --> 25:28.895 [SPEAKER_05]: And I don't know, Kaylee must have moved here, like a year or so later, anyways, we were, I moved him from one apartment to another apartment like a year later, and me Kaylee and Bobby then are there. 25:30.077 --> 25:32.780 [SPEAKER_05]: And he's not there, like we're doing something for him. 25:32.860 --> 25:34.562 [SPEAKER_05]: I don't remember, anyways. 25:35.673 --> 25:42.703 [SPEAKER_05]: He's got like a big Ottoman dresser, and I go in it to like put something in there, something, and there's a DVD. 25:45.046 --> 25:51.275 [SPEAKER_05]: And it's like sticking out from under a shirt, and I was like, you know, like it's a weird thing why is our DVD under a shirt? 25:51.716 --> 25:51.876 [SPEAKER_05]: Uh-huh. 25:52.056 --> 25:55.641 [SPEAKER_05]: And so I just kind of lifted it up, and I was like, oh, oh my God. 25:59.066 --> 26:03.132 [SPEAKER_05]: I don't want to say exactly what it was because he would kill me if he found out. 26:04.192 --> 26:06.295 [SPEAKER_05]: It wasn't porn per se. 26:06.355 --> 26:07.637 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh God. 26:08.198 --> 26:09.520 [SPEAKER_05]: But it was a how-to. 26:09.540 --> 26:09.600 [SPEAKER_05]: Oh. 26:12.425 --> 26:13.086 [SPEAKER_05]: If you will. 26:13.927 --> 26:14.628 [SPEAKER_01]: Wow. 26:15.469 --> 26:18.013 [SPEAKER_05]: And I was like, bye, I can't even get in here. 26:19.035 --> 26:19.736 [SPEAKER_05]: And they're like, what? 26:19.796 --> 26:23.001 [SPEAKER_04]: I was like, I'll be damned if my eyes are gonna be the only one that's used this. 26:23.923 --> 26:24.764 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's right. 26:24.824 --> 26:26.807 [SPEAKER_04]: And they're like, oh. 26:28.390 --> 26:29.632 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, those kinds of things. 26:29.652 --> 26:31.274 [SPEAKER_05]: I was like, why, damn, why? 26:31.294 --> 26:33.217 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, why do we have this? 26:33.498 --> 26:34.519 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, like it. 26:34.539 --> 26:37.123 [SPEAKER_05]: 60 something years old. 26:37.184 --> 26:38.746 [SPEAKER_05]: If you don't know how to do that by now. 26:39.307 --> 26:40.108 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, yeah, what do you say? 26:40.128 --> 26:42.311 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, your dad was a real lady killer for a minute. 26:42.692 --> 26:43.353 [SPEAKER_01]: But he used it. 26:43.373 --> 26:46.718 [SPEAKER_01]: He didn't use it, goes to the mojiano's or something. 26:46.758 --> 26:47.479 [SPEAKER_01]: Every night. 26:47.499 --> 26:50.023 [SPEAKER_01]: Any, he had like a little girlfriend there or something. 26:50.083 --> 26:52.407 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure. 26:53.315 --> 27:21.195 [SPEAKER_05]: there are stories for days that Bobby tells me still and I'm like oh god stop my ears like yes and it's pretty encouraging make you feel like well you can keep a free time as long as you want to like yeah just don't tell your kids about it like these are the things yeah but it is there's like all these crazy things that come up again 27:21.901 --> 27:29.710 [SPEAKER_05]: If somebody goes search in somewhere in the house at some point, when we were little kids, we used to search the house all the time. 27:29.730 --> 27:32.152 [SPEAKER_05]: In fact, we went looking for that. 27:32.272 --> 27:34.255 [SPEAKER_05]: We were like, what are we going to find? 27:34.275 --> 27:43.064 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, I think for the most part, my grandparents were very good at keeping things hidden from us because we never really found anything other than like old photo albums that were like fun to look at. 27:43.104 --> 27:45.046 [SPEAKER_05]: Look at their crazy hair and look at their crazy outfits. 27:45.066 --> 27:51.013 [SPEAKER_05]: And what's, look at this funny dress that's up here in the attic, 27:50.993 --> 27:51.694 [SPEAKER_05]: Great. 27:51.734 --> 27:55.118 [SPEAKER_05]: But as kids, we would go up in the attic for hours and dig through boxes. 27:56.219 --> 27:58.582 [SPEAKER_05]: And they obviously didn't have anything to hide. 27:58.863 --> 27:59.143 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 27:59.484 --> 28:05.851 [SPEAKER_05]: But I just think to myself like, what if what if your significant other suspects something and they go digging? 28:06.853 --> 28:07.874 [SPEAKER_05]: You better have your shit. 28:08.955 --> 28:09.496 [SPEAKER_05]: Hidden well. 28:09.736 --> 28:10.497 [SPEAKER_05]: Obviously he did. 28:11.078 --> 28:11.398 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 28:11.759 --> 28:15.263 [SPEAKER_05]: But you also either, I would say one or two things. 28:15.631 --> 28:25.623 [SPEAKER_05]: I know this is unrealistic, but if you're going to have that where God forbid you pass away and your family finds something, first of all, if he knew he was going to pass away from HIV AIDS, clean your mess up. 28:26.143 --> 28:26.524 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 28:26.644 --> 28:28.066 [SPEAKER_05]: So your family doesn't have to find that. 28:28.346 --> 28:31.290 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, why are you, or maybe you left it because you wanted them to find it? 28:31.310 --> 28:32.050 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, leave a note. 28:32.071 --> 28:32.771 [SPEAKER_05]: But leave a note. 28:32.952 --> 28:33.472 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 28:33.492 --> 28:35.374 [SPEAKER_05]: Leave something that does explain it. 28:35.695 --> 28:37.177 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm sorry you had to find out this way. 28:37.277 --> 28:43.444 [SPEAKER_05]: I could never bring myself to tell you blah, blah, blah, blah, like just so somebody gets answers. 28:43.424 --> 28:57.771 [SPEAKER_05]: If it's a situation like that, if it's a situation where you're just keeping love letters and photos and things like that, I don't really think there was any explanation that you can leave, but 28:58.342 --> 28:58.682 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 28:58.722 --> 29:00.925 [SPEAKER_05]: You are playing with fire a little bit. 29:01.125 --> 29:01.425 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 29:02.206 --> 29:07.231 [SPEAKER_01]: I think if you got your little, I just think people, I still have this feeling. 29:07.291 --> 29:10.254 [SPEAKER_01]: It's why I love that we talk about sex and those kinds of things on this show. 29:10.674 --> 29:12.496 [SPEAKER_01]: Because I think so many people don't talk about it. 29:12.536 --> 29:20.624 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's why you end up saying, on, you know, when you're about to pass, by the way, I have a butt plug in a big dildo in the garage. 29:21.745 --> 29:21.845 [UNKNOWN]: Yeah. 29:21.865 --> 29:27.150 [SPEAKER_05]: Like maybe in the garage of all places, I just want to know if that's where it was being used. 29:27.451 --> 29:30.795 [SPEAKER_05]: Are you just going to the garage and put that thing up there and then take care of us? 29:30.815 --> 29:33.699 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's where the guys do the man cave. 29:33.920 --> 29:44.414 [SPEAKER_03]: It's where not the man, okay. 29:44.814 --> 29:49.440 [SPEAKER_01]: It's where you explore your man cave and your man cave, so sorry. 29:49.460 --> 29:52.865 [SPEAKER_04]: That's exactly what I have to say. 29:53.466 --> 29:54.387 [SPEAKER_01]: But no, it. 30:00.357 --> 30:17.337 [SPEAKER_01]: But it is, I have, I am trying to think of the, I had a, um, when I was young, before I really knew I was gay, but I should have known I forget where I, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was, where I was 30:17.907 --> 30:21.052 [SPEAKER_01]: acquired all of these body building magazines. 30:21.072 --> 30:26.502 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, and I love to look at the guys in there boat just posing in a little teeny tiny under there. 30:27.063 --> 30:33.033 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and my mom found it and you would think that, okay, I don't have to come out now. 30:33.053 --> 30:35.497 [SPEAKER_01]: Are you found a bunch of body building? 30:35.538 --> 30:36.760 [SPEAKER_05]: I would assume you're just looking at it. 30:37.200 --> 30:38.042 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, that's what you do. 30:38.062 --> 30:39.785 [SPEAKER_05]: Boys are inspired to like lift weights. 30:39.905 --> 30:42.750 [SPEAKER_05]: Although that I guess it depends on 30:43.068 --> 30:44.692 [SPEAKER_01]: If the pages are stuck together or not? 30:44.712 --> 30:48.963 [SPEAKER_05]: Well, that is that, but no, I was like, it depends on what your other behavior was as a kid. 30:49.163 --> 30:49.484 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 30:49.544 --> 30:56.521 [SPEAKER_05]: Like were you doing boy activities that would lead me to believe that you were interested in body, but here are you baking? 30:56.541 --> 30:58.005 [SPEAKER_05]: I was. 30:58.222 --> 31:05.613 [SPEAKER_05]: I was not that there's anything wrong with boys, but you know what I'm saying, you know what I mean, like, you know, you do more feminine, what scene is yes. 31:05.853 --> 31:10.880 [SPEAKER_01]: So I always wanted to do more feminine things, but I also because you did want to purse exactly. 31:11.521 --> 31:13.885 [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, I was ahead of my time. 31:14.365 --> 31:15.787 [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like, it's convenient. 31:16.168 --> 31:17.049 [SPEAKER_01]: You put things in it. 31:17.470 --> 31:21.175 [SPEAKER_01]: I've got my pockets all full, but girls get to walk around here with a little satchel. 31:21.155 --> 31:23.661 [SPEAKER_01]: for their stuff, what was it going to have a purse. 31:24.002 --> 31:24.944 [SPEAKER_01]: It was a whole thing. 31:25.064 --> 31:27.289 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that it talked to my church leader about stuff. 31:28.171 --> 31:39.598 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, you know, back back, but yeah, they say get a backpack and they got me a little backpack, but I also at a young age would pretend like I wanted to do really boyish things. 31:39.718 --> 31:40.159 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 31:40.139 --> 31:44.464 [SPEAKER_01]: because I didn't want to be weird and different. 31:44.965 --> 31:46.767 [SPEAKER_01]: But boy, that was only like a girl. 31:47.208 --> 31:51.152 [SPEAKER_01]: Even though I really did love, I wanted to play dress up and stuff like that. 31:51.172 --> 31:52.434 [SPEAKER_01]: I had fun doing that. 31:52.774 --> 31:56.118 [SPEAKER_05]: When you say you wanted to play dress up, did you want to dress up in like the girls clothes? 31:56.138 --> 32:01.885 [SPEAKER_05]: Or you just wanted, but I'm just asking you out of curiosity because I guess we've never really talked about that. 32:01.966 --> 32:04.489 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, you don't want to dress up in girls clothes now. 32:04.929 --> 32:05.330 [SPEAKER_05]: Or do you? 32:05.710 --> 32:05.970 [SPEAKER_01]: I know. 32:06.031 --> 32:07.092 [SPEAKER_01]: This is a really, I know, I know. 32:07.112 --> 32:07.632 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm just curious. 32:08.073 --> 32:08.914 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't. 32:09.113 --> 32:14.220 [SPEAKER_01]: I think I'm a tube job you can borrow for dinner tonight. 32:14.921 --> 32:25.917 [SPEAKER_01]: I think all the time, I actually think about that a lot because when I was little, I really would thought that I would have rather had been a girl. 32:25.977 --> 32:27.199 [SPEAKER_01]: Interesting. 32:27.219 --> 32:38.074 [SPEAKER_01]: And I wanted, when I pretended, I like, you know, played make believe, I pretended that 32:39.353 --> 32:48.281 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, now could say all kinds of reasons I think that was, um, but I don't really know. 32:48.341 --> 32:49.242 [SPEAKER_01]: It's just a fact. 32:49.963 --> 32:50.063 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 32:50.083 --> 32:52.645 [SPEAKER_05]: And then you just sort of grought of that at a certain point. 32:52.965 --> 32:58.470 [SPEAKER_01]: I remember there was a more, I don't remember how old I was, but I was a young, pretty young kid. 32:59.451 --> 33:01.573 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, probably under 10 years old. 33:03.094 --> 33:03.335 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 33:03.375 --> 33:09.360 [SPEAKER_01]: And I had a dream that I woke up and I was a girl. 33:10.218 --> 33:11.861 [SPEAKER_01]: and I told my, and I was so happy. 33:12.082 --> 33:13.525 [SPEAKER_01]: It would honestly felt like a relief. 33:14.446 --> 33:15.789 [SPEAKER_01]: And I saw my mom the next day. 33:15.829 --> 33:19.456 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I had a dream that I was a girl and I'm really happy that I'm a boy. 33:19.496 --> 33:20.659 [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, oh, that's good. 33:20.699 --> 33:27.973 [SPEAKER_01]: She didn't really track it, but I also don't think, because I didn't talk about it. 33:28.139 --> 33:31.305 [SPEAKER_01]: My mind always imagined that being a girl. 33:31.986 --> 33:32.527 [SPEAKER_01]: Interesting. 33:33.209 --> 33:35.934 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, and I idolized women. 33:36.014 --> 33:42.386 [SPEAKER_01]: And I wanted to, like, when I, if I watched a superhero movie, I didn't want to be the superhero. 33:42.426 --> 33:45.492 [SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to be like, the girl that the superhero saved. 33:45.892 --> 33:46.473 [SPEAKER_01]: Interesting. 33:46.614 --> 33:46.934 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 33:47.135 --> 33:51.042 [SPEAKER_05]: But then there was just, like, sort of maybe after that dream, there was just like, uh, 33:51.022 --> 33:51.863 [SPEAKER_05]: you didn't really. 33:51.883 --> 33:53.284 [SPEAKER_05]: I don't know what it was. 33:53.304 --> 33:54.225 [SPEAKER_05]: I don't. 33:54.666 --> 34:20.472 [SPEAKER_01]: You know why I don't talk about this a lot because of all of the how political the trans conversation has become and I do just speaking me personally fully believe in and support my trans friends and the trans community and it's a very small 34:20.452 --> 34:22.736 [SPEAKER_01]: want to be someone who, you know, speaks for them. 34:22.936 --> 34:26.903 [SPEAKER_01]: And of course, but not the no, no, but to that. 34:27.003 --> 34:33.435 [SPEAKER_01]: That's the reason I don't talk about that because I think the fact that I felt like this when I was a kid and then it changed. 34:33.475 --> 34:35.759 [SPEAKER_01]: People could weaponize that story. 34:35.879 --> 34:36.961 [SPEAKER_04]: I'd be like fear. 34:37.001 --> 34:38.764 [SPEAKER_01]: I get someone who's friends. 34:38.744 --> 34:42.914 [SPEAKER_01]: And from a small child, I realize that way, and that's just who they are. 34:42.974 --> 34:43.957 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 34:44.217 --> 34:50.031 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's why I don't talk about it a lot, but I do also think it's really good to just be honest about. 34:50.432 --> 34:52.638 [SPEAKER_01]: And I have, I like I have a lot. 34:52.658 --> 34:54.282 [SPEAKER_01]: I talk about it personally with people. 34:54.302 --> 34:56.888 [SPEAKER_01]: I just want to talk about it publicly before this, really. 34:57.104 --> 34:57.705 [SPEAKER_01]: But I did. 34:57.725 --> 35:01.333 [SPEAKER_01]: When I wanted to play dress up, I wanted to put on dresses. 35:01.373 --> 35:05.702 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I would, like I remember, I wanted one year for Halloween. 35:05.762 --> 35:06.884 [SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to be a witch. 35:07.646 --> 35:09.950 [SPEAKER_01]: But that was embarrassing to ask for. 35:09.970 --> 35:13.938 [SPEAKER_01]: And I knew the next closest thing I could be was a wizard. 35:14.499 --> 35:16.243 [SPEAKER_01]: And so because the wizard had the long, 35:16.223 --> 35:19.067 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, the thing, and it was, I was Merlin. 35:19.088 --> 35:20.790 [SPEAKER_01]: My mom made me like a long, white beard. 35:20.870 --> 35:21.752 [SPEAKER_01]: And that was really fun. 35:21.792 --> 35:24.015 [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't feel like, oh, this costume sucks. 35:24.035 --> 35:25.077 [SPEAKER_01]: I thought it was really cool. 35:25.197 --> 35:25.698 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 35:25.718 --> 35:30.285 [SPEAKER_01]: But the point of it was because I wanted to wear a dress. 35:30.746 --> 35:31.427 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 35:31.447 --> 35:31.908 [SPEAKER_01]: Not wild? 35:31.948 --> 35:32.429 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 35:33.250 --> 35:34.332 [SPEAKER_05]: I think it's interesting. 35:34.412 --> 35:35.413 [SPEAKER_05]: It's not even that it's wild. 35:35.473 --> 35:36.395 [SPEAKER_05]: It's just interesting to me. 35:36.475 --> 35:42.805 [SPEAKER_05]: I feel like you've told me the Merlin story before, but I don't think I knew 35:43.038 --> 35:49.367 [SPEAKER_05]: You always, like, as a little kid, like, wanted to play dress up, be the girl kind of thing. 35:49.407 --> 35:49.828 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 35:52.171 --> 35:55.376 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't, I mean, I've never talked to your professional about it because I feel so good now. 35:55.676 --> 36:00.483 [SPEAKER_01]: So it's sort of like, why would I be so... Oh, then, why did I think this as a kid? 36:00.503 --> 36:05.350 [SPEAKER_01]: But as a kid, there were moments I really was, like, I wish I was a girl. 36:06.055 --> 36:10.664 [SPEAKER_01]: because, and it part of me thinks too, I was so close to my mom and my mom didn't work and my dad did. 36:10.885 --> 36:14.211 [SPEAKER_01]: I was gonna say, and I'm like, is that maybe it's what you grow up to turn into. 36:14.311 --> 36:14.772 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 36:14.792 --> 36:21.786 [SPEAKER_01]: And then like, and a lot of like TV shows and stuff, women were more, 36:21.901 --> 36:29.996 [SPEAKER_01]: Fun and friendly and guys were more like, you know, like the work and kind of broke the eggs out of this exactly what I was thinking of. 36:30.076 --> 36:30.497 [SPEAKER_01]: I'll Bundy. 36:30.637 --> 36:31.418 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I know. 36:31.438 --> 36:33.101 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, oh, God, this is my future. 36:33.141 --> 36:36.247 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I got to choose the main peg. 36:36.267 --> 36:37.109 [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly. 36:38.191 --> 36:39.393 [SPEAKER_01]: So it's interesting. 36:39.613 --> 36:40.635 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 36:40.835 --> 36:41.896 [SPEAKER_05]: That makes sense. 36:41.916 --> 36:47.543 [SPEAKER_05]: So I think in general, I mean, we got so far off the top of all of a sudden, but I think little kids like, they're just trying to figure out the world. 36:47.823 --> 37:09.508 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and they just, and I would now, like, I wouldn't change anything, but like, what I would, I think it's really good that no one made told me for speaking solely for myself, that no one told me that having any of those feelings met something about me, that I was just sort of like, 37:09.488 --> 37:28.138 [SPEAKER_01]: able to still live life like I still played with my friends hung out everything turned out fine and now I'm this fabulous gay guy because I'm who I'm really proud to be with no box of secrets that I need to get rid of. 37:28.844 --> 37:32.107 [SPEAKER_01]: You know like if you maybe my phone should I should give you the password. 37:32.127 --> 37:46.222 [SPEAKER_01]: You can just do it Yeah, hard reset not because there's anything major in there, but you never know You're might be interested some of the DMs I should just give you my password and Let you see some things if I'm gone. 37:46.502 --> 37:47.744 [SPEAKER_05]: You'd be like girl. 37:47.864 --> 37:53.029 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my goodness She's why I thought I knew but honey 37:55.068 --> 38:02.377 [SPEAKER_01]: If you had to, if someone had to, like if you had to share your, someone had to flex us to your DMs. 38:04.440 --> 38:04.620 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 38:04.820 --> 38:07.464 [SPEAKER_01]: Or your internet search history. 38:07.484 --> 38:08.405 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 38:08.806 --> 38:09.506 [SPEAKER_01]: Which do you pick? 38:11.249 --> 38:12.610 [SPEAKER_05]: What do I let them have access to? 38:12.991 --> 38:14.693 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, like one or the other, which are you doing? 38:14.713 --> 38:15.895 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm access to my internet search. 38:16.375 --> 38:17.296 [SPEAKER_05]: I don't search anything weird. 38:17.897 --> 38:18.137 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 38:18.498 --> 38:20.100 [SPEAKER_05]: My DMs aren't weird. 38:20.280 --> 38:24.045 [SPEAKER_05]: Like where there's anything like, oh my God. 38:24.548 --> 38:29.177 [SPEAKER_05]: My sense of humor is not for everyone, but I think I'm like, you're traveling. 38:29.197 --> 38:34.147 [SPEAKER_05]: Well, I know certain things are just humor and there are certain things. 38:34.227 --> 38:37.854 [SPEAKER_05]: I wouldn't say publicly because I wouldn't want to offend somebody. 38:37.894 --> 38:41.381 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, I could say it to you being a smart ass or something like that. 38:41.421 --> 38:45.088 [SPEAKER_05]: Knowing very well, you know me, you know my heart and like all that. 38:45.068 --> 38:49.736 [SPEAKER_05]: but it could be taken, speaking of somebody keeps trying to hack my Instagram. 38:49.776 --> 38:54.925 [SPEAKER_05]: I've gotten messages like three times now like, oh, like here in a recent internet or Instagram password. 38:54.945 --> 38:56.868 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm like, quit trying to stuff like that. 38:56.969 --> 38:58.251 [SPEAKER_05]: And then I'm like, no, I don't click it. 38:58.692 --> 38:59.333 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm like delete. 38:59.753 --> 39:00.715 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm like, 39:00.695 --> 39:02.177 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm going to check these DMs real quick. 39:02.258 --> 39:02.899 [SPEAKER_05]: Exactly. 39:03.039 --> 39:05.904 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm going to make sure that there's a hole. 39:05.924 --> 39:10.311 [SPEAKER_05]: Mostly you and I just send back and for funny like reals now. 39:10.451 --> 39:10.992 [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly. 39:11.012 --> 39:12.835 [SPEAKER_01]: My god. 39:12.855 --> 39:16.241 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm screwed either way because my name is search. 39:17.062 --> 39:23.192 [SPEAKER_01]: Like for example, I've searched things like kids falling down and hurting themselves. 39:24.269 --> 39:36.125 [SPEAKER_01]: But not because I want to see a kid get injured, but if you do, because you think it's funny, you don't know who you want kids go down the slide and they're like, the fall of the edges. 39:36.145 --> 39:38.532 [SPEAKER_05]: I am the person just so everybody knows right now. 39:39.608 --> 39:46.759 [SPEAKER_05]: If you hurt yourself and it's not bad, like if you stub your toe, I'm done for, I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying. 39:46.919 --> 39:51.806 [SPEAKER_05]: I don't want to tell you, I all ask you if you're okay and I will genuinely care if you're okay. 39:52.167 --> 39:54.530 [SPEAKER_05]: But I still won't be able to control my hysterical laughter. 39:55.131 --> 40:00.679 [SPEAKER_05]: When my dad's broken his pinky toe like five times, every time he calls us and tells us something. 40:01.120 --> 40:03.844 [SPEAKER_05]: I don't know what I'm gonna do. 40:03.824 --> 40:18.361 [SPEAKER_04]: He's also not his reaction and I know how bad he's cussing because of it He's like That thing and it's huge It's like No, I'm sorry. 40:18.381 --> 40:19.504 [SPEAKER_05]: I don't know this is 40:19.771 --> 40:21.274 [SPEAKER_05]: these are the ABCs of me. 40:21.334 --> 40:26.364 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm a little twisted, but I will laugh if you get hurt as long as it's not bad. 40:26.745 --> 40:32.796 [SPEAKER_01]: I wonder if this has something to do with our trauma response because I laugh at very, like, times you shouldn't laugh. 40:33.698 --> 40:35.061 [SPEAKER_01]: I was at a funeral one time. 40:35.101 --> 40:36.784 [SPEAKER_05]: That's uncomfortable, 40:36.764 --> 40:48.838 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, well, so there's a huge funeral, like a lot of people came and the circumstances surrounding the person who passed away was young, like my age and we were in high school. 40:50.840 --> 40:56.206 [SPEAKER_01]: But they had a moment where they opened up, I can't believe I'm laughing still. 40:56.486 --> 41:00.330 [SPEAKER_01]: They opened up the mic for anyone who wanted to come and share something to say something. 41:00.351 --> 41:01.692 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 41:01.672 --> 41:10.028 [SPEAKER_01]: And it got a little cringe to me because it started to feel like this is people's like 15 minutes of fame now like this is there's like 41:10.430 --> 41:11.872 [SPEAKER_01]: 800 people of this world. 41:11.892 --> 41:12.814 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, everybody wants to say it. 41:12.834 --> 41:14.096 [SPEAKER_01]: They probably don't even all of the sudden. 41:14.136 --> 41:36.471 [SPEAKER_01]: People are, come, people, and so my friend, which is so weird, full circle, she was actually the only girl that I dated, my girlfriend, who was so funny, like we really were so like tight with this, we started like every time someone came out, we'd narrate what they were going to say. 41:36.873 --> 41:38.796 [SPEAKER_01]: I come up with these ridiculous stories. 41:39.156 --> 41:40.739 [SPEAKER_01]: We started laughing and we couldn't stop. 41:41.119 --> 41:43.082 [SPEAKER_01]: So we tried to disguise it like we were crying. 41:43.743 --> 41:47.509 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, like, like trying to be crying. 41:48.009 --> 41:48.170 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, wow. 41:48.210 --> 41:50.493 [SPEAKER_01]: Because we were laughing and you got ridiculous. 41:51.174 --> 41:54.679 [SPEAKER_05]: But I understand what you're saying, because yes, like, sometimes you laugh. 41:55.351 --> 41:58.955 [SPEAKER_05]: And it's a very, yeah, but that's a very serious situation. 41:59.015 --> 41:59.636 [SPEAKER_05]: You're young. 41:59.776 --> 42:04.201 [SPEAKER_05]: It's probably one of the first times you've had to deal with a funeral, so like trying to just handle it in general. 42:04.462 --> 42:09.708 [SPEAKER_05]: And then, yes, when a bunch of people are stepping up and just saying shit that you're like, you didn't even barely know the person you're talking about. 42:09.728 --> 42:09.948 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah. 42:09.968 --> 42:10.068 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 42:10.088 --> 42:10.188 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 42:10.208 --> 42:12.931 [SPEAKER_05]: The whole school shows up and you're like, you didn't know the person this is ridiculous. 42:13.292 --> 42:13.993 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, why are you here? 42:14.493 --> 42:15.234 [SPEAKER_01]: Why are you speaking? 42:15.314 --> 42:18.658 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, people would get up and I hope. 42:18.638 --> 42:33.495 [SPEAKER_01]: I hope I don't make myself sound like an asshole right now, but people get up and be like my cousin Stephanie met this person last summer Such and such and said he was always so great. 42:33.515 --> 42:35.037 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, oh, okay. 42:35.057 --> 42:36.298 [SPEAKER_01]: This isn't a microphone. 42:36.458 --> 42:37.359 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's me. 42:37.419 --> 42:41.063 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes Why are you standing up there, you know? 42:41.083 --> 42:46.890 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but yeah, I love I It's funny when people hurt themselves 42:47.512 --> 42:50.055 [SPEAKER_05]: As long as there's not, like, blood or broken bones. 42:50.596 --> 42:53.300 [SPEAKER_01]: You remember when you had that gashing or shin? 42:53.320 --> 42:54.802 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if I would have laughed at that. 42:55.263 --> 42:56.664 [SPEAKER_01]: That was bad from your bed. 42:56.805 --> 42:57.405 [SPEAKER_01]: From your bed? 42:57.626 --> 42:58.247 [SPEAKER_05]: Oh my God, yes. 42:58.507 --> 43:02.292 [SPEAKER_05]: By the way, if I would have watched me do that, I would have laughed. 43:02.733 --> 43:04.435 [SPEAKER_04]: I'm not gonna learn it. 43:04.455 --> 43:07.199 [SPEAKER_05]: Because it was so bad. 43:07.759 --> 43:11.865 [SPEAKER_05]: So the bed frame I used to have, restoration hardware, but it had, 43:11.845 --> 43:13.567 [SPEAKER_05]: like very hardware. 43:13.887 --> 43:14.888 [SPEAKER_05]: Very hardware. 43:14.948 --> 43:25.160 [SPEAKER_05]: It was pointy edges like pointy wood edge like so it was like a square frame but right let's square came to a point and it's not like the mattress sat inside. 43:25.220 --> 43:28.824 [SPEAKER_05]: So to get to the mattress there was like a ledge around it. 43:29.244 --> 43:40.857 [SPEAKER_05]: I don't know if it was the pier turn the air up or something and I was walking back to bed and I just misjudged how far out the point was and when I 43:42.406 --> 43:46.052 [SPEAKER_05]: I like, I buckled, thank God the bed was there because I buckled onto it. 43:46.152 --> 43:46.953 [SPEAKER_01]: I just screamed. 43:46.973 --> 43:48.476 [SPEAKER_05]: Creaming into my pillow. 43:48.516 --> 43:54.125 [SPEAKER_05]: Dom was really asleep down the hall and I'm like, ah, like, like, I almost blacked out. 43:54.145 --> 43:54.906 [SPEAKER_05]: It was so bad. 43:54.946 --> 43:59.453 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, I don't know, I'm just laying there, like, writhing and being like, okay, okay. 43:59.433 --> 44:05.007 [SPEAKER_05]: And it was black and blue forever like weeks you couldn't touch it because I bruised the bone. 44:05.468 --> 44:07.514 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, I know it looks so bad. 44:07.594 --> 44:15.113 [SPEAKER_05]: It was not good and by the way, but if I would have seen somebody do that in person, I would have asked if they were okay, but it would have been through laughter and tears. 44:15.093 --> 44:18.938 [SPEAKER_01]: You're makes me think of me one of the stupidest things I've ever done. 44:18.958 --> 44:22.503 [SPEAKER_01]: I was not feeling very well in my aunt This is like years ago. 44:22.523 --> 44:26.208 [SPEAKER_01]: I was living with my parents actually, but I was in I was in my 20s. 44:26.448 --> 44:40.847 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, and My aunt was all into essential oils and so if I was sick or had a cold or whatever She'd take clothes and robbing her to tell me to rob it on my chest, whatever And so I was like, I'm gonna take a hot bath 44:42.262 --> 44:47.212 [SPEAKER_01]: So, I was like, hmm, some good essential oil therapy and it will be good. 44:47.472 --> 44:48.515 [SPEAKER_01]: So, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop. 44:48.555 --> 44:51.080 [SPEAKER_01]: I drop a bunch of these clove oil drops in the hot pot. 44:51.100 --> 44:52.923 [SPEAKER_01]: Because I'm like, this is going to be so good for me. 44:52.984 --> 44:55.208 [SPEAKER_01]: If it's good for my chest, it's going to be good for the bath. 44:56.605 --> 45:05.238 [SPEAKER_01]: Getting the bath, sinking, smell the clove, and all of the sudden, it's like the tip of my penis is dipped in acid. 45:05.338 --> 45:10.586 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I could, I've never rolled out of a bathtub before. 45:10.606 --> 45:19.019 [SPEAKER_01]: I rolled out like whole body plopped on the tile on the other side, screaming, ah, I'm all like, what, what? 45:19.039 --> 45:21.583 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I was blowing on it. 45:23.487 --> 45:26.109 [SPEAKER_03]: I was like, I put COVID in the bathtub and it burns. 45:26.129 --> 45:28.211 [SPEAKER_01]: She was like, oh, yeah, you can't do that. 45:28.311 --> 45:31.094 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, maybe put that on the label. 45:31.914 --> 45:34.217 [SPEAKER_05]: But you didn't think like, oh, this warms my chest. 45:34.277 --> 45:35.638 [SPEAKER_05]: It might war my junk. 45:36.819 --> 45:39.001 [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't know it was gonna burn it all. 45:39.321 --> 45:40.382 [SPEAKER_01]: That's what it felt like. 45:40.482 --> 45:44.265 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, this is, I didn't, I didn't think it was gonna hurt me like that. 45:44.706 --> 45:46.968 [SPEAKER_01]: I think the hot water made it worse. 45:46.988 --> 45:47.508 [SPEAKER_05]: Possibly. 45:47.548 --> 45:49.590 [SPEAKER_01]: My pores were all open or something. 45:50.111 --> 45:51.672 [SPEAKER_01]: And that area. 45:52.090 --> 46:03.942 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, another little tidbit information, just for you ladies who don't know, when they do a section surgery, they take the tip of your blood penis because of all the nerve endings and that's what they used to make the clitoris. 46:03.982 --> 46:07.185 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's how that imagined hot, clove oil. 46:07.205 --> 46:08.886 [SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to die. 46:08.907 --> 46:10.608 [SPEAKER_01]: I was, and I had the same thing. 46:10.949 --> 46:12.670 [SPEAKER_01]: Literally, we went off for like 15 minutes. 46:12.710 --> 46:17.195 [SPEAKER_01]: I had, I remember just having my head buried in the bed with a towel wrapped around me. 46:17.215 --> 46:17.575 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, 46:20.862 --> 46:22.130 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, it's bad. 46:22.150 --> 46:23.538 [SPEAKER_01]: It's really good. 46:23.558 --> 46:25.067 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I've ruined it. 46:26.768 --> 46:28.870 [SPEAKER_03]: I said, I want me to be a boy. 46:29.891 --> 46:31.873 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm a little gaming boy. 46:31.893 --> 46:32.374 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I have that dream. 46:32.394 --> 46:33.035 [SPEAKER_03]: We're cool. 46:33.795 --> 46:34.636 [SPEAKER_05]: And what? 46:34.656 --> 46:38.320 [SPEAKER_05]: So Bobby, my brother works, you know, he worked in restaurants for years. 46:38.761 --> 46:41.624 [SPEAKER_05]: And first of all, they used to mess with each other all the time. 46:41.684 --> 46:44.086 [SPEAKER_05]: Like the chefs would play pranks on each other. 46:44.927 --> 46:49.632 [SPEAKER_05]: But also, just sometimes they would be so busy, you know, you're not thinking, you're doing stuff. 46:49.652 --> 46:51.474 [SPEAKER_05]: And so he was chopping jalapenos. 46:51.494 --> 46:54.497 [SPEAKER_05]: Chop, chop, chop, chop, whatever, you know, 46:55.490 --> 47:04.785 [SPEAKER_05]: Little while later, he's got to go pee and he like goes runs to the bathroom completely forgets that he had chopped Hallopangios and obviously grabs his job. 47:04.805 --> 47:10.454 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, and then his dick was like, oh my god, unfire and I remember telling me the story. 47:10.494 --> 47:11.535 [SPEAKER_05]: Same thing. 47:11.575 --> 47:14.620 [SPEAKER_01]: I was just, it makes me feel sick to my son thinking about it. 47:14.660 --> 47:15.361 [SPEAKER_04]: What are you doing? 47:15.421 --> 47:19.147 [SPEAKER_04]: He's like, you digs on fire. 47:19.648 --> 47:21.651 [SPEAKER_04]: He's trying to survive. 47:21.691 --> 47:22.813 [SPEAKER_05]: He's like, 47:23.131 --> 47:34.804 [SPEAKER_05]: I thought maybe baby powder was like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, literally, like, just down your pants, corn starch, some run like, because it was when we were filming the cooking show. 47:34.885 --> 47:38.589 [SPEAKER_05]: And so, and I remember I was like chopping jalapeno and he was like funny story about that. 47:38.609 --> 47:41.132 [SPEAKER_05]: And he tells me like, on camera, I'm like, he can't tell me. 47:41.152 --> 47:42.153 [SPEAKER_05]: He can't tell me. 47:42.173 --> 47:42.954 [SPEAKER_01]: I can't get it back. 47:42.974 --> 47:43.655 [SPEAKER_01]: Meg up's running. 47:43.675 --> 47:50.503 [SPEAKER_05]: Like literally speaking of there was one episode, we did, we were making like a pork tenderloin. 47:50.563 --> 47:52.665 [SPEAKER_05]: I still have this photo, actually. 47:52.645 --> 47:59.638 [SPEAKER_05]: So we make this pork dinner like shape it, that a cook it, pull it out of the oven and we put it on the cutting board. 48:00.520 --> 48:01.682 [SPEAKER_05]: And I cannot make this up. 48:01.702 --> 48:06.011 [SPEAKER_05]: We did not try to make this look like a dick and ball. 48:06.071 --> 48:06.652 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my God. 48:06.672 --> 48:09.878 [SPEAKER_05]: But when I tell you, it looked like a giant dick in balls. 48:12.777 --> 48:15.581 [SPEAKER_05]: 20 minutes, we couldn't finish filming the episode. 48:16.062 --> 48:18.646 [SPEAKER_05]: I, a spherical crying laughing. 48:19.728 --> 48:21.491 [SPEAKER_05]: And every time we'd be like, okay, we're ready. 48:21.811 --> 48:25.617 [SPEAKER_05]: We would take a deep breath and Bobby would start talking and I would just start dying laughing again. 48:26.358 --> 48:34.851 [SPEAKER_05]: And then like at one point, because he's Bobby and he's very dry and he's like, okay, we got this and he's like, so what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna cut the tip of this cock off. 48:34.871 --> 48:37.215 [SPEAKER_05]: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 48:37.195 --> 48:39.319 [SPEAKER_05]: lose it all over again. 48:39.359 --> 48:40.922 [SPEAKER_05]: It's in the bloopers reel. 48:40.942 --> 48:42.706 [SPEAKER_05]: You can actually find it on YouTube. 48:42.886 --> 48:45.571 [SPEAKER_05]: We have a blooper's reel from fixate that is up. 48:45.631 --> 48:48.356 [SPEAKER_05]: If you search fixate bloopers and you'll see it in there. 48:48.637 --> 48:49.839 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that is so funny. 48:49.859 --> 48:50.400 [SPEAKER_05]: It's so good. 48:51.102 --> 48:52.825 [SPEAKER_05]: So that wasn't an injury thing, but... 48:53.648 --> 48:55.350 [SPEAKER_01]: Many who were all over the place today. 48:55.370 --> 48:58.214 [SPEAKER_01]: Anyways, yeah, but I digress. 48:59.075 --> 49:04.622 [SPEAKER_05]: Anyways, if you got secrets of any kind, just make sure you got somebody that knows to clean them up. 49:05.043 --> 49:16.498 [SPEAKER_01]: And also, I would say, if you have a kink that you would like to bring or bring to your partner, just like, don't feel embarrassed about it. 49:16.558 --> 49:17.820 [SPEAKER_01]: Talk to your partner about it. 49:17.840 --> 49:19.762 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like thinking about the woman who wrote that. 49:19.802 --> 49:21.124 [SPEAKER_01]: I think that's easier said than done. 49:21.104 --> 49:24.548 [SPEAKER_01]: It is, but that's why I want to, I know it's not easy to do. 49:24.608 --> 49:33.840 [SPEAKER_05]: But what I mean by that is some people could really depending on their upbringing, depending on how they're used or sex. 49:33.900 --> 49:35.362 [SPEAKER_05]: That could break really bad on you. 49:36.042 --> 49:40.328 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, if you know your partner well enough, you might know that they're just not going to be receptive to it. 49:40.608 --> 49:43.011 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, you know, like, there are some, there are some 49:43.733 --> 49:51.487 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm going to speak from what I know, which is women, which that are like just dead set against their partner looking at porn. 49:52.108 --> 49:52.328 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 49:52.889 --> 49:54.292 [SPEAKER_05]: Like they don't want to hear it. 49:54.853 --> 49:56.195 [SPEAKER_05]: They better not find out you're doing it. 49:56.256 --> 49:57.618 [SPEAKER_05]: They think it's like cheating to them. 49:57.658 --> 49:58.480 [SPEAKER_05]: It's like cheating. 49:58.540 --> 50:00.123 [SPEAKER_05]: Like why are you looking at that? 50:00.203 --> 50:01.545 [SPEAKER_05]: That means I'm not good enough. 50:01.866 --> 50:04.290 [SPEAKER_05]: That means there's, you know, and like some guys just 50:05.637 --> 50:07.839 [SPEAKER_05]: They're guys, they just wanna see it. 50:08.941 --> 50:22.136 [SPEAKER_05]: Like it doesn't mean that you're not enough for anything like that, but if you're the guy that knows that you're wife or partner, she's not okay with it, you're not gonna be like honey. 50:22.456 --> 50:26.461 [SPEAKER_05]: I just like to watch girl on girl porn. 50:26.481 --> 50:27.842 [SPEAKER_05]: It has nothing to do with you. 50:27.902 --> 50:30.685 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm just a dude that's horny and I like to watch it. 50:30.705 --> 50:33.889 [SPEAKER_05]: He's not gonna bring that to her because it's never gonna be well received. 50:34.207 --> 50:40.825 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you know what I'm saying so like all of a sudden if all if you search his history and you find that yeah 50:41.446 --> 51:05.580 [SPEAKER_05]: you're gonna feel certain type of way so you might just be like I know she's gonna take it this way or I know he's gonna take it this way so I'm not gonna so yes on one hand I want to encourage it and be like you should be able to be oh first of all you should be able to be open with your partner and you should be able to fully express who you are and what your desires are and if they're not into it that's okay they're all allowed to say I'm not into that. 51:05.560 --> 51:09.044 [SPEAKER_05]: But hopefully not hold it against you judge you for it. 51:09.405 --> 51:09.705 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 51:09.845 --> 51:11.868 [SPEAKER_05]: But that's just not the reality, unfortunately. 51:11.888 --> 51:12.749 [SPEAKER_01]: I think true. 51:12.789 --> 51:13.911 [SPEAKER_01]: And I really appreciate it. 51:13.931 --> 51:19.458 [SPEAKER_01]: Each person because it's like, it gets into a bigger conversation, which we've wasted too much time to have it today. 51:19.538 --> 51:28.590 [SPEAKER_01]: But about like, what secrets should if any should you feel obligated, like, is it okay to keep secrets from your partner and where is the line? 51:28.970 --> 51:29.230 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 51:31.453 --> 51:34.437 [SPEAKER_05]: The question is, should you or should you have to? 51:36.087 --> 51:36.568 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 51:36.968 --> 51:44.921 [SPEAKER_05]: Like I feel like you should be able to tell them most things. 51:45.542 --> 51:47.726 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm trying to think of like what would there be a thing that. 51:50.170 --> 51:50.631 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know. 51:50.651 --> 51:55.218 [SPEAKER_01]: I have a scenario that you popped in my head because I'm trying to think of one and I like to be able to say it. 51:55.419 --> 51:57.522 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's say, 51:58.430 --> 52:24.893 [SPEAKER_01]: you both work out of the house and the you're the female you are working and someone you work with comes on to you pretty aggressively and you always thought you were friends there is chemistry there but you are solely a platonic and then they like sort of make a move make it uncomfortable and they know you're married so it's it's kind of disrespecting your relationship and your partner. 52:24.873 --> 52:32.244 [SPEAKER_01]: You don't do anything without person, but is it wrong not to tell your partner that they did that? 52:32.464 --> 52:37.811 [SPEAKER_01]: Because I feel like, no, why stir the pot? 52:37.872 --> 52:38.993 [SPEAKER_01]: Why upset someone? 52:39.013 --> 52:39.794 [SPEAKER_01]: Nothing happened? 52:39.834 --> 52:40.555 [SPEAKER_01]: You handled it? 52:40.876 --> 52:44.241 [SPEAKER_01]: But a lot of people in relationships might feel otherwise. 52:44.341 --> 52:44.601 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 52:45.643 --> 52:50.830 [SPEAKER_05]: I would agree with you for the most part and say, yes, as long as 52:51.940 --> 52:53.381 [SPEAKER_05]: You are strictly platonic. 52:53.562 --> 52:54.903 [SPEAKER_05]: You're not interested in that. 52:55.103 --> 52:58.807 [SPEAKER_05]: You're not feeding into it to get the attention back. 52:59.488 --> 53:00.789 [SPEAKER_05]: And you know nothing is going to happen. 53:00.869 --> 53:10.819 [SPEAKER_05]: Then yes, as A and you also have to know your partner as your partner, a jealous person, or as your partner, like, yeah, he knows what he knows how good you are. 53:10.919 --> 53:13.822 [SPEAKER_05]: But your mind is not going to be a problem. 53:14.183 --> 53:15.924 [SPEAKER_05]: Then you could say it, I guess, if you want to do. 53:15.944 --> 53:17.266 [SPEAKER_05]: But if you know it's going to start some shit. 53:18.046 --> 53:21.610 [SPEAKER_05]: And there's no reason to start some shit. 53:22.197 --> 53:26.762 [SPEAKER_05]: I don't think you should have to, but if it kept happening, then maybe. 53:26.943 --> 53:32.770 [SPEAKER_05]: If it was like a one-time thing, and you were like, hey, we're cool, we're friends, but that's a no-go. 53:32.850 --> 53:34.652 [SPEAKER_05]: You know why Mary, that's just respect. 53:34.672 --> 53:35.353 [SPEAKER_00]: So across that line. 53:35.373 --> 53:36.354 [SPEAKER_05]: Let's not cross that line. 53:36.855 --> 53:44.544 [SPEAKER_05]: As long as you handle it and put it in its place, but also if you know your partner like ever found out and they were gonna be super pissed about it. 53:45.525 --> 53:52.153 [SPEAKER_05]: Again, it's about knowing your partner, whether it's a, you have to tell them or you keep it a quote unquote secret. 53:52.859 --> 54:03.492 [SPEAKER_05]: Like I said, if you know it's going to make them mad and there's our jealous and there's just nothing for them to worry about you don't need to plant the seed of worry in their mind and have them uncomfortable with you going to work. 54:03.592 --> 54:04.353 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I feel the same. 54:05.915 --> 54:16.588 [SPEAKER_05]: But if it's something that they've expressed concern about or, you know, like it's sort of like the conversation of omission versus. 54:16.822 --> 54:17.343 [SPEAKER_01]: line. 54:17.363 --> 54:18.265 [SPEAKER_01]: Where is that line? 54:18.906 --> 54:24.476 [SPEAKER_05]: By the time I had to deal with some omission situations in the last few months. 54:25.859 --> 54:27.041 [SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm. 54:27.061 --> 54:27.362 [SPEAKER_01]: That's right. 54:27.382 --> 54:27.863 [SPEAKER_01]: Word, right? 54:27.923 --> 54:29.426 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, you don't share. 54:29.486 --> 54:30.127 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. 54:30.447 --> 54:33.413 [SPEAKER_05]: That really irked me pretty bad because it was like, uh, 54:34.557 --> 54:37.341 [SPEAKER_05]: Well, I shouldn't have to ask every fucking question in the book. 54:38.262 --> 54:40.085 [SPEAKER_05]: You know, this is something you should have told me. 54:40.345 --> 54:40.606 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 54:40.966 --> 54:50.600 [SPEAKER_05]: And you shouldn't have waited for me to ask the question because I'm like, you lied and the person was like, well, no, I just didn't talk about that. 54:50.620 --> 54:55.587 [SPEAKER_05]: Tell you, and I'm like, in the circumstance that I was in, I was like, 54:56.461 --> 55:03.571 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you didn't tell me for a reason, because you knew a change dynamics, you didn't want dynamics change. 55:04.513 --> 55:04.633 [SPEAKER_05]: Right. 55:05.414 --> 55:10.942 [SPEAKER_05]: You said, Julie, kept the secret to have your cake in need of two. 55:11.342 --> 55:18.052 [SPEAKER_05]: To have like your way, what you wanted out of the situation, instead of me getting to have the upfront choice. 55:18.392 --> 55:18.653 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 55:18.893 --> 55:25.843 [SPEAKER_05]: Now that I've asked the question, you're being honest with me, but you should have brought it to me instead of waiting for me to ask. 55:25.925 --> 55:26.245 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 55:26.566 --> 55:35.636 [SPEAKER_05]: So that, like, uh, again, I guess it depends on the sewage situation, but the omission part that is not a whole pass. 55:36.417 --> 55:36.657 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 55:36.677 --> 55:37.598 [SPEAKER_01]: It's a fine line. 55:37.638 --> 55:40.361 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think it depends on the circumstance, what? 55:41.122 --> 55:45.787 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, what this circumstance, what telling implicates, like, does it change something? 55:45.827 --> 55:50.011 [SPEAKER_05]: Does it, are you taking a choice away from somebody by not giving them information? 55:50.172 --> 55:50.512 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 55:50.532 --> 55:53.435 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, are you making a decision for them because you didn't give them all the facts? 55:53.515 --> 55:54.116 [SPEAKER_05]: That's a problem. 55:54.316 --> 55:55.037 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 55:55.270 --> 55:56.031 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, that's not fair. 55:56.231 --> 55:56.492 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 55:57.834 --> 55:58.134 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 55:58.154 --> 56:11.355 [SPEAKER_01]: And so then it, like, I'll just, I guess, well, thinking about that with the story that that woman wrote us about, um, I guess it's not, that's not something that, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if 56:11.791 --> 56:14.297 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's just say that, like nothing ever, there was no affair. 56:14.337 --> 56:19.128 [SPEAKER_01]: It was just like, something that he tried, realized he liked it, didn't know how to bring it up. 56:19.188 --> 56:21.614 [SPEAKER_01]: And so, that's what happened. 56:22.095 --> 56:31.015 [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, I guess, I wonder how many, if we had 50 women in this room, how many of them would feel like, 56:31.872 --> 56:33.975 [SPEAKER_01]: They should have been told that or they didn't have to be. 56:34.115 --> 56:36.198 [SPEAKER_01]: If that was all it was, it's interesting. 56:36.238 --> 56:40.403 [SPEAKER_01]: And you know what, I would love to hear if you guys have any thoughts, because we've kind of talked about a lot. 56:40.423 --> 56:40.744 [SPEAKER_05]: I know. 56:40.924 --> 56:42.366 [SPEAKER_05]: I would love to know, like, do you have? 56:42.426 --> 56:44.088 [SPEAKER_05]: It's like, is there some secret thing? 56:44.148 --> 56:45.029 [SPEAKER_05]: Is there a thing you've kept? 56:45.069 --> 56:46.812 [SPEAKER_05]: Is there a thing that should be getting gotten rid of? 56:46.872 --> 56:47.713 [SPEAKER_05]: If God forbid. 56:48.414 --> 56:48.734 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 56:48.754 --> 56:50.777 [SPEAKER_05]: The worst happens, do you have that kind of plan? 56:50.817 --> 56:54.842 [SPEAKER_05]: And what would your thought be if you were the one that found? 56:54.822 --> 56:56.083 [SPEAKER_01]: something. 56:56.404 --> 56:58.286 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, or found out about the thing. 56:58.426 --> 57:10.980 [SPEAKER_01]: Like if you guys have any, we love being able to talk about like we call them our phone to friends when you email or write us and and we get to unpack these because it's really interesting and it's real life stuff. 57:11.000 --> 57:11.420 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 57:11.440 --> 57:14.384 [SPEAKER_01]: The people don't get to talk about a lot and I just love talking about it. 57:14.404 --> 57:17.387 [SPEAKER_05]: I especially like that, like that's probably not something you're going to go 57:17.671 --> 57:19.296 [SPEAKER_05]: necessarily share with your friends. 57:19.517 --> 57:21.042 [SPEAKER_05]: Obviously she's not going to share it with the kids. 57:21.082 --> 57:23.330 [SPEAKER_05]: Maybe the kids are adults, but she's like I'm never going to tell my kids. 57:23.831 --> 57:24.895 [SPEAKER_05]: But that's got a way on you. 57:24.935 --> 57:27.343 [SPEAKER_05]: Like you might just need to hear somebody else. 57:27.560 --> 57:54.445 [SPEAKER_05]: bounce the the thoughts around right just so they're not just bouncing around in your head right so like I hope she's listening I hope maybe we've covered some things that gives her like oh yeah I didn't think about it this way or oh yeah like maybe it wasn't a big well especially like you said she mentioned that he brought it up so like he was aware like I guess you got to take it at face value for what he said I bought some things for us to try you're gonna find it so okay he gave a heads up yeah 57:55.184 --> 58:03.925 [SPEAKER_05]: And you got to decide if, like, I mean, I would have to just go with that because it's like the person is gone, you can ask any questions any further, so you have to go with what they gave you. 58:04.406 --> 58:11.202 [SPEAKER_05]: So that you can be at peace with it and not spiral wondering if it was something more than that. 58:11.806 --> 58:12.227 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 58:12.247 --> 58:13.328 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 58:13.348 --> 58:14.691 [SPEAKER_05]: Well, you guys know what to do. 58:14.731 --> 58:19.799 [SPEAKER_05]: You can email us at everything's perfect podcast at gmail.com or that's right. 58:19.819 --> 58:21.061 [SPEAKER_01]: You can hit us up on Instagram. 58:21.081 --> 58:22.904 [SPEAKER_01]: It's everything's perfect official. 58:23.184 --> 58:26.149 [SPEAKER_01]: Also, obviously, Autumn Calibration, Donald Samper. 58:27.511 --> 58:28.833 [SPEAKER_01]: We're on the socials. 58:28.894 --> 58:30.216 [SPEAKER_01]: And we love to hear from you. 58:32.119 --> 58:33.180 [SPEAKER_01]: Very, very social. 58:33.441 --> 58:33.982 [SPEAKER_01]: Very social. 58:34.102 --> 58:36.025 [SPEAKER_01]: We're not even at all. 58:37.034 --> 58:39.391 [SPEAKER_01]: But I'd love to be with you guys, see you in a sub! 58:39.734 --> 58:41.728 [SPEAKER_05]: We will see you guys next week! 58:41.889 --> 58:42.977 [SPEAKER_05]: Bye!