WEBVTT 00:02.782 --> 00:04.084 [SPEAKER_00]: Hello, hello, everybody. 00:04.124 --> 00:06.308 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm Lexi Lombardo, the Lexi podcast. 00:06.688 --> 00:10.314 [SPEAKER_00]: I have found myself having a moment of insecurity. 00:10.354 --> 00:22.734 [SPEAKER_00]: I've found myself seeking validation, comparing myself, even found myself becoming jealous of others, even people in my close circle, jealous of my friends, and I am generally a pretty confident person. 00:22.754 --> 00:26.460 [SPEAKER_00]: I have relatively stable and high self-esteem, 00:26.440 --> 00:28.723 [SPEAKER_00]: but I've caught myself dipping. 00:28.823 --> 00:36.733 [SPEAKER_00]: I felt my confidence taking a dip and it sort of caught me by surprise because it doesn't feel aligned with who I am, but it's definitely happening right now. 00:36.893 --> 00:49.590 [SPEAKER_00]: And I want to go over what it sort of feels like and how I'm going to get my groove back because if you're regular to the show, something that's a reoccurring theme is being in a funk. 00:49.610 --> 00:50.771 [SPEAKER_00]: I've dealt with depression. 00:50.811 --> 00:51.452 [SPEAKER_00]: I've 00:51.432 --> 00:59.461 [SPEAKER_00]: I've dealt with roles in that sort of sense, but validation is not something I've struggled with in quite some time at least. 01:00.041 --> 01:04.366 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, to my memory, that's how long it's been, or I'm like, oh my god, you're experiencing jealousy. 01:04.386 --> 01:05.867 [SPEAKER_00]: I brought it up with my friends last night. 01:06.148 --> 01:07.069 [SPEAKER_00]: Why they're like, how have you been? 01:07.129 --> 01:07.810 [SPEAKER_00]: What's going on? 01:08.350 --> 01:12.294 [SPEAKER_00]: I said I'm having a season of jealousy, and they asked me to expand on it. 01:12.695 --> 01:14.296 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I'm looking around, for example. 01:15.017 --> 01:20.443 [SPEAKER_00]: I am so jealous of people who can drop their dog off with their family. 01:20.423 --> 01:21.544 [SPEAKER_00]: when they go on vacation. 01:22.045 --> 01:28.373 [SPEAKER_00]: My entire family is on the East Coast and the jealousy I think of on a consistent basis. 01:28.714 --> 01:30.756 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not as if I can't afford a dogcitor. 01:30.836 --> 01:35.642 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not as if I don't have friends available that would be happy to watch spoon. 01:36.303 --> 01:47.798 [SPEAKER_00]: Something about the idea of people having a mom and dad or a grandma and grandpa or a sibling nearby that they can drop their pet off with or have someone come over and stay at their house and 01:47.778 --> 01:51.684 [SPEAKER_00]: watch their cat gives me so much jealousy. 01:51.704 --> 01:57.352 [SPEAKER_00]: I am so so jealous of that and this is something I harp on. 01:57.412 --> 02:01.859 [SPEAKER_00]: This is something I stew over and it almost breeds anger. 02:01.919 --> 02:03.862 [SPEAKER_00]: There's nothing I can do about it. 02:03.882 --> 02:04.643 [SPEAKER_00]: What do I want? 02:04.903 --> 02:05.905 [SPEAKER_00]: My mom's not alive. 02:06.065 --> 02:06.566 [SPEAKER_00]: So what? 02:06.626 --> 02:07.988 [SPEAKER_00]: There's nothing I can do to change it. 02:08.288 --> 02:10.151 [SPEAKER_00]: My dad lives on the other side of the country. 02:10.231 --> 02:15.118 [SPEAKER_00]: So what you want to move to the other side of the 02:15.098 --> 02:17.261 [SPEAKER_00]: or recently someone said this. 02:17.761 --> 02:21.246 [SPEAKER_00]: When it comes to comparison you can't pick and choose. 02:21.866 --> 02:28.154 [SPEAKER_00]: You can't say I'm jealous of this person's looks, I'm jealous of this person's career, I'm jealous of this person's family. 02:28.174 --> 02:31.959 [SPEAKER_00]: I wish I had their looks, I wish I had their job, I wish I had their family. 02:32.440 --> 02:34.662 [SPEAKER_00]: You have to take the whole package. 02:35.203 --> 02:44.835 [SPEAKER_00]: Package at large, would you trade places every detail in the box included? 02:44.815 --> 02:53.025 [SPEAKER_00]: Even the people I've met, and we all probably have encountered at least one in our life, where we feel they were just handed some easier cards. 02:53.505 --> 02:57.510 [SPEAKER_00]: You're like, they haven't struggled too much, but then you know what I find? 02:57.530 --> 02:59.953 [SPEAKER_00]: I find that that is their cross-to-bear. 02:59.993 --> 03:07.401 [SPEAKER_00]: They lack a depth to them of being able to relate to the human experience, because their human experience has been a lot lighter than others. 03:08.182 --> 03:12.207 [SPEAKER_00]: And when I see people who I'm jealous of their careers, 03:12.507 --> 03:16.692 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, oh, well, they're actually dealing with a ton of sickness and they're at the doctors all the time. 03:17.212 --> 03:18.374 [SPEAKER_00]: What I want the money they're making? 03:18.834 --> 03:19.295 [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely. 03:19.375 --> 03:21.057 [SPEAKER_00]: Do I want all their doctors appointments? 03:21.698 --> 03:21.978 [SPEAKER_00]: No. 03:22.018 --> 03:26.443 [SPEAKER_00]: Family jealousy, family envy is something I have a ton of. 03:26.844 --> 03:37.536 [SPEAKER_00]: Those families that are huge people that have so many siblings and they're so close with them and maybe their family has a lake house and they all go on a summer vacation and they play games 03:37.516 --> 03:43.391 [SPEAKER_00]: I have a couple of families or a couple of people in my personal life that I'm so jealous of their family. 03:43.772 --> 03:50.488 [SPEAKER_00]: I still don't think I would take the whole package and trade places with them, and that has offered me some relief. 03:51.350 --> 03:54.478 [SPEAKER_00]: But I just think it's interesting in itself that... 03:54.458 --> 04:15.186 [SPEAKER_00]: You develop yourself a steam and confidence when you're young, and it's a muscle that you can strengthen, but to have it feel a little weak to have a moment of weakness, caught me off guard, where I was driving home and I had to turn down the radio and think to myself, wow, you're seeking validation right now, and I'm someone who really thrives on praise. 04:15.727 --> 04:20.854 [SPEAKER_00]: Haters have never, absolutely never been my motivators. 04:20.834 --> 04:27.522 [SPEAKER_00]: I love support feedback and I'll take criticism, but someone who says you could never do it. 04:27.862 --> 04:29.204 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that does nothing for me. 04:29.724 --> 04:32.407 [SPEAKER_00]: And maybe that stems from feeling very well-rounded. 04:32.448 --> 04:34.009 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll get my parents a lot of credit. 04:34.650 --> 04:37.654 [SPEAKER_00]: They put me in a lot of different activities, right? 04:37.674 --> 04:38.134 [SPEAKER_00]: I was young. 04:38.174 --> 04:40.277 [SPEAKER_00]: So I feel comfortable in a lot of areas. 04:40.337 --> 04:41.478 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel artistic. 04:42.019 --> 04:42.980 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel sporty. 04:43.000 --> 04:45.002 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel conversational. 04:45.663 --> 04:50.048 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel 04:50.028 --> 04:57.182 [SPEAKER_00]: you know, it's not like I just had one thing that I was good at and everything else was neglected or I had no interest in it. 04:57.723 --> 05:01.150 [SPEAKER_00]: I've always had a wide range of interests and I've always been okay at them. 05:01.190 --> 05:07.041 [SPEAKER_00]: So if someone's telling me don't do something, so if I'm getting a ton of hate on something, 05:07.021 --> 05:07.762 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't know. 05:07.802 --> 05:08.583 [SPEAKER_00]: That's fine. 05:08.624 --> 05:10.927 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't, I have other options. 05:11.188 --> 05:12.309 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't need to pursue this one. 05:12.670 --> 05:16.236 [SPEAKER_00]: And then another layer of this is, is I trust my judgment. 05:16.456 --> 05:18.359 [SPEAKER_00]: I really trust my judgment. 05:18.700 --> 05:24.128 [SPEAKER_00]: And this includes my judgment in people, the people I surround myself with, the people that I want in my life. 05:24.409 --> 05:24.709 [SPEAKER_00]: And... 05:24.959 --> 05:35.683 [SPEAKER_00]: If I'm finding that I'm not receiving praise from those people in my life, I start questioning it because I trust them and if they're telling me you're doing an amazing job. 05:35.743 --> 05:36.845 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so proud of you. 05:36.866 --> 05:38.108 [SPEAKER_00]: I love what you're doing. 05:38.148 --> 05:43.019 [SPEAKER_00]: That feels extra good because these are people that I value their opinion. 05:43.059 --> 05:44.723 [SPEAKER_00]: This is the circle that I've chosen. 05:44.990 --> 05:54.429 [SPEAKER_00]: So when it's a little quiet, I found myself starting to wonder, maybe they don't understand what I'm doing with my time right now. 05:54.489 --> 05:58.317 [SPEAKER_00]: They don't understand or support the season I'm in and I don't know whether or not that's true. 05:59.118 --> 06:04.028 [SPEAKER_00]: I just noticed that the support suddenly seemed a little bit quieter and this, 06:04.008 --> 06:14.038 [SPEAKER_00]: I think has aided to the potential drop-in confidence because I trust my circle and I feed off of praise. 06:14.139 --> 06:19.704 [SPEAKER_00]: When I'm in a scenario where I feel so loved and adored, it makes me so strong. 06:19.925 --> 06:21.506 [SPEAKER_00]: But I shouldn't require that. 06:21.606 --> 06:24.249 [SPEAKER_00]: That shouldn't be the baseline for me to have confidence. 06:24.289 --> 06:28.414 [SPEAKER_00]: I shouldn't need a crowd of people saying, you're amazing. 06:28.434 --> 06:29.395 [SPEAKER_00]: You're so funny. 06:29.435 --> 06:30.316 [SPEAKER_00]: You're so kind. 06:30.376 --> 06:32.698 [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever the adjectives that I'm looking for. 06:32.678 --> 06:35.783 [SPEAKER_00]: you're so sexy, but I shouldn't need that. 06:35.843 --> 06:36.464 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean. 06:36.525 --> 06:53.353 [SPEAKER_00]: You've been in a space where you know that you're being loved and you're adored, but if you don't have that, that shouldn't mean that you don't have faith in yourself, that you don't have enough belief in yourself, that shouldn't be a requirement to have self-assurance in your choices. 06:53.333 --> 06:59.944 [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know when, but I've noticed over the last couple days, I am seeking approval. 06:59.984 --> 07:01.707 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm seeking validation. 07:01.747 --> 07:05.513 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing things that feel out of character to myself. 07:05.673 --> 07:08.678 [SPEAKER_00]: I've found myself questioning whether or not to send an email. 07:08.738 --> 07:11.463 [SPEAKER_00]: I've found myself questioning whether or not I should send a text. 07:12.164 --> 07:17.012 [SPEAKER_00]: I've found myself overexplaning and I feel like that's a huge indicator of 07:16.992 --> 07:17.813 [SPEAKER_00]: insecurity. 07:18.094 --> 07:21.660 [SPEAKER_00]: You shouldn't have to explain yourself and you definitely shouldn't have to over explain yourself. 07:21.940 --> 07:24.024 [SPEAKER_00]: I've found myself chasing replies. 07:24.585 --> 07:30.334 [SPEAKER_00]: I've found myself needing others opinions and that's, that's not what it's about. 07:30.354 --> 07:38.207 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I'd like to believe that we are all born with a toolkit of everything that we need to get through in our skin. 07:38.187 --> 07:43.013 [SPEAKER_00]: Support is fantastic, but I should feel comfortable in my skin. 07:43.073 --> 08:00.836 [SPEAKER_00]: I should maybe it's not my first time on earth But it's one hundred percent my first time on earth in this skin and I want to make sure I'm enjoying it I once heard confidence described as walking into a room and it's not I need all these people to like me or even walking in the room Being like I know all these people like me. 08:00.876 --> 08:03.820 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not wondering. 08:03.860 --> 08:07.705 [SPEAKER_00]: It's having it not matter whether they do or don't 08:07.685 --> 08:13.733 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm the type of person I've found that if I walk into a room, obviously, it feels amazing to have them all like you. 08:14.313 --> 08:16.236 [SPEAKER_00]: But I need to feel like a majority too. 08:16.896 --> 08:20.281 [SPEAKER_00]: If I walked into a room and no one liked me, I'd probably think that I was in the wrong room. 08:20.461 --> 08:21.562 [SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't think too hard about it. 08:22.023 --> 08:26.388 [SPEAKER_00]: But if it felt like a mix, I would leave feeling a little bit... 08:26.408 --> 08:27.249 [SPEAKER_00]: I would be questioning. 08:27.269 --> 08:28.711 [SPEAKER_00]: I would be questioning. 08:29.172 --> 08:35.920 [SPEAKER_00]: Or if I got mixed reviews from the people in my life, and I don't even know if what I'm saying right now makes sense. 08:35.900 --> 08:49.532 [SPEAKER_00]: All I know is that I'm looking for the confidence to send the email, send the text, stop over explaining, stop chasing, reply, stop needing an opinion, because this is wasting my energy, and insecurity is so selfish. 08:49.952 --> 09:04.185 [SPEAKER_00]: You become self-absorbed, because you're like, oh, well, maybe I'm not worth it, like, maybe they hate me, maybe they're not answering because I'm XYZ girl, you were thinking about yourself, 09:04.553 --> 09:05.755 [SPEAKER_00]: way too much. 09:06.235 --> 09:11.162 [SPEAKER_00]: I am seeing so many parallels between insecurity and depression. 09:11.182 --> 09:13.285 [SPEAKER_00]: I think depression is so selfish. 09:13.966 --> 09:21.938 [SPEAKER_00]: Anytime I've been severely depressed, it's because I have such an empty cup, I have nothing to fill others with. 09:22.358 --> 09:29.869 [SPEAKER_00]: I am in such need and it's so me and me and one of the 09:30.237 --> 09:35.546 [SPEAKER_00]: As trite as it is, is to think of things that you're grateful for, gratitude once again. 09:35.586 --> 09:38.271 [SPEAKER_00]: As trite as it is, incredibly effective. 09:38.852 --> 09:47.487 [SPEAKER_00]: And what I'm finding the parallel for insecurity is, is writing down wins that I've had to write down a reflection of the last year because 09:47.467 --> 09:57.063 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm always looking ahead and it's sometimes hard to remember that the things that are normal, quote unquote, easy for me, at some point they weren't. 09:57.263 --> 10:12.428 [SPEAKER_00]: You could even write down moments that you handled something well, times you created something that you wanted to risk that you took or multiple feedback you received just to remember that you have evidence when insecurity hits. 10:12.408 --> 10:15.555 [SPEAKER_00]: because feelings fluctuate, but these are facts. 10:15.635 --> 10:19.984 [SPEAKER_00]: These are true things that happen, and sometimes you need a little bit of grounding in reality. 10:20.144 --> 10:21.126 [SPEAKER_00]: You need a reality check. 10:21.547 --> 10:27.700 [SPEAKER_00]: Something else I've been asking is, is that even a desire that I have? 10:27.680 --> 10:37.098 [SPEAKER_00]: I might have jealousy over a friend having so much career success, but if I was doing that, I don't even know if that would be authentic to me. 10:37.418 --> 10:38.561 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know. 10:38.581 --> 10:42.408 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know if that would be behavior in alignment. 10:42.628 --> 10:46.195 [SPEAKER_00]: There's sometimes that there's jealousy happening because 10:46.175 --> 10:48.178 [SPEAKER_00]: It feels within your reach. 10:48.378 --> 10:51.542 [SPEAKER_00]: It makes sense for you and you're like, damn, I wish I got that. 10:51.983 --> 10:55.127 [SPEAKER_00]: But sometimes I'm jealous of things that don't even make sense for my life. 10:55.487 --> 11:00.874 [SPEAKER_00]: So I almost need to ask myself if I'm doing something in this feels maybe like not good enough. 11:00.914 --> 11:02.236 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, but does this feel true to me? 11:02.437 --> 11:04.940 [SPEAKER_00]: Does this feel in alignment with what I want? 11:05.320 --> 11:14.933 [SPEAKER_00]: I do feel good knowing that I'm acknowledging this very much as this is a normal brain pattern, not as if something's wrong with me. 11:14.913 --> 11:19.839 [SPEAKER_00]: I found it surprising if anything to drive home and be like, wow, your confidence dropped a little. 11:19.979 --> 11:21.021 [SPEAKER_00]: Huh, interesting. 11:21.241 --> 11:23.904 [SPEAKER_00]: As opposed to thinking, what is wrong with me? 11:23.964 --> 11:25.046 [SPEAKER_00]: What's going on? 11:25.106 --> 11:26.287 [SPEAKER_00]: This is not good. 11:26.307 --> 11:27.228 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not spiraling. 11:27.268 --> 11:31.854 [SPEAKER_00]: I just need to readjust because whatever I'm doing isn't working. 11:31.994 --> 11:33.196 [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know where this began. 11:33.216 --> 11:34.878 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what there was a trigger point to this. 11:35.518 --> 11:37.281 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't really care to be perfectly honest. 11:37.541 --> 11:41.646 [SPEAKER_00]: I just am not in the mood to be seeking validation. 11:41.626 --> 11:45.150 [SPEAKER_00]: to be bending over backwards to try to receive praise. 11:45.170 --> 11:56.583 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know why I'm doing an honestly saying this out loud already has lost some of the power to acknowledge that I'm in this state is lessening this variety of it and that feels pretty good. 11:56.643 --> 11:59.567 [SPEAKER_00]: So by all means, sometimes I just need to say it out loud. 11:59.587 --> 12:01.609 [SPEAKER_00]: I need to say, I've been in my head. 12:01.649 --> 12:03.071 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm really stressed. 12:03.511 --> 12:07.215 [SPEAKER_00]: I've been seeking validation to almost hear myself say, oh, interesting. 12:07.256 --> 12:08.257 [SPEAKER_00]: You're seeking validation. 12:08.497 --> 12:08.917 [SPEAKER_00]: wonder why? 12:08.937 --> 12:11.160 [SPEAKER_00]: What can we do? 12:11.140 --> 12:14.027 [SPEAKER_00]: has a background in mental health. 12:14.068 --> 12:15.271 [SPEAKER_00]: She was a mental health professional. 12:15.351 --> 12:17.316 [SPEAKER_00]: She also is witchy. 12:17.336 --> 12:24.815 [SPEAKER_00]: So she really breeds a beautiful combination of neuroscience and paganism. 12:25.096 --> 12:26.219 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's really fantastic. 12:26.299 --> 12:27.883 [SPEAKER_00]: Because a lot of times I think science. 12:27.863 --> 12:29.546 [SPEAKER_00]: is late to catch up. 12:29.747 --> 12:37.581 [SPEAKER_00]: I love one time, so eventually catches up with the spiritual realm and she had posted on TikTok saying to make three boards. 12:38.182 --> 12:39.745 [SPEAKER_00]: One was essence. 12:40.126 --> 12:45.957 [SPEAKER_00]: If I'm not mistaken, the second one was vision and the third board was the dream build. 12:46.190 --> 12:47.954 [SPEAKER_00]: And if it wasn't essence, it was a synonym. 12:48.195 --> 12:56.774 [SPEAKER_00]: But essence is a board on how you want the experience in your skin to feel, how you want your personal moments. 12:56.835 --> 12:59.200 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, do you want to feel glittery? 12:59.481 --> 13:00.964 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you want to feel stable? 13:01.104 --> 13:03.169 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you want to feel grounded? 13:03.269 --> 13:04.873 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you want to feel... 13:04.853 --> 13:09.481 [SPEAKER_00]: like you have wings attached to your back, you know, at least that's the way that I understood it. 13:09.621 --> 13:13.848 [SPEAKER_00]: And then the vision is, let's dream big, what does the house look like? 13:13.908 --> 13:15.471 [SPEAKER_00]: What does the relationship look like? 13:15.491 --> 13:17.153 [SPEAKER_00]: What does the career look like? 13:17.194 --> 13:18.556 [SPEAKER_00]: What does the closet look like? 13:18.696 --> 13:20.018 [SPEAKER_00]: How many dogs do we have? 13:20.399 --> 13:22.883 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, this is my life at its fullest. 13:22.903 --> 13:23.764 [SPEAKER_00]: What does that look like? 13:24.285 --> 13:26.509 [SPEAKER_00]: And images to add. 13:26.870 --> 13:28.152 [SPEAKER_00]: And images to go along with it. 13:28.212 --> 13:30.135 [SPEAKER_00]: And then third one is the dream build. 13:30.115 --> 13:53.271 [SPEAKER_00]: And the dream build is the six to nine month baby steps to get to the big vision, you know, maybe you want a walking closet, I'm seeking for myself, with custom made shelves that are dark wood and have almost to see through little windows, you can get a peek of what's in the shelves, but very clear into my head. 13:53.251 --> 14:23.106 [SPEAKER_00]: Like maybe you want to walk in closet I'm speaking for myself that has a rug on the ground and a bench that you can sit on and they're these beautiful dark wood cabinets and you can peek through them just a little bit and a three prong mirror, you know, maybe I'm not there yet, but what would be a baby step, you know, maybe is it just getting spending a couple hundred dollars and getting shelves installed into my closet, I have a walk in closet right now or is it getting the three panel mirror and putting that in the corner of my room. 14:23.086 --> 14:28.714 [SPEAKER_00]: you know, maybe I don't have the huge closet room yet, but what's a baby set to get there? 14:29.215 --> 14:31.578 [SPEAKER_00]: Or maybe it's my journals. 14:31.739 --> 14:39.911 [SPEAKER_00]: I want a huge library wall of all of the different stationary and leather pieces that I've made. 14:39.931 --> 14:47.001 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, that might be a little far away, but maybe the next step is making passport cases and seeing how that looks. 14:47.302 --> 14:47.844 [SPEAKER_00]: You hear me? 14:48.124 --> 14:50.632 [SPEAKER_00]: So after I record this episode, I'm gonna do that. 14:50.812 --> 14:57.632 [SPEAKER_00]: And now the other thing that I think is gonna build myself a steam that I'm gonna do right after recording this episode is cleaning my room. 14:58.540 --> 15:04.830 [SPEAKER_00]: The laundry pile has really gotten high and the laundry pile is not clean laundry nor dirty laundry. 15:04.890 --> 15:10.599 [SPEAKER_00]: It's that in between on the chair pile of something that I tried on maybe decided not to wear. 15:10.619 --> 15:14.726 [SPEAKER_00]: A sweatshirt that I put on to take spoon out and then I just threw it back on. 15:15.227 --> 15:15.928 [SPEAKER_00]: That kind of thing. 15:16.529 --> 15:22.118 [SPEAKER_00]: Also the shoes are a little messy and it just keeps piling up. 15:22.418 --> 15:28.647 [SPEAKER_00]: And I have, I'm certain areas of my house that are spikken span, no, what to, supreme, what's the word I'm looking for? 15:28.707 --> 15:30.649 [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever, they're incredibly clean. 15:30.790 --> 15:33.554 [SPEAKER_00]: They're in ship shape is actually what I was thinking. 15:33.614 --> 15:35.196 [SPEAKER_00]: They're in ship shape. 15:35.717 --> 15:38.200 [SPEAKER_00]: My closet right now looks fantastic. 15:38.761 --> 15:42.145 [SPEAKER_00]: My desk, I actually think I need to get rid of this desk. 15:42.166 --> 15:43.948 [SPEAKER_00]: A dear friend of mine gave it to me. 15:43.988 --> 15:50.417 [SPEAKER_00]: It's this refurbished 1920s vanity that the top mirror had been taken off and it's just a desk, 15:50.397 --> 15:56.469 [SPEAKER_00]: The function in my room doesn't work with the desk and by that I mean I never find myself sitting at it. 15:57.271 --> 16:04.004 [SPEAKER_00]: I need something different and it's taking up space and would this be adorable to be in my child's bedroom one day? 16:04.044 --> 16:06.128 [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely. 16:06.445 --> 16:09.952 [SPEAKER_00]: do I feel like holding on to it for that moment? 16:09.972 --> 16:18.069 [SPEAKER_00]: Guys, I don't even have a crush right now, let alone prospect of a partner to raise a child with, that would want this desk. 16:18.089 --> 16:22.378 [SPEAKER_00]: But, you know, it's special, 1920s, it's 100 years old. 16:23.303 --> 16:25.006 [SPEAKER_00]: But I think I need to give it away to a friend. 16:25.026 --> 16:26.769 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to see if someone else wants it. 16:26.789 --> 16:28.652 [SPEAKER_00]: I already must have shared a say, do you want it back? 16:28.692 --> 16:30.475 [SPEAKER_00]: And she's like, no, pass it on. 16:30.896 --> 16:35.043 [SPEAKER_00]: But I, in my vision, have this beautiful studio space. 16:35.724 --> 16:40.873 [SPEAKER_00]: What is for my dream build something that could be closer to that? 16:40.853 --> 16:41.995 [SPEAKER_00]: what does that look like? 16:42.857 --> 16:48.828 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to clean because I think cleaning is one of the healthiest forms of Instagramification. 16:49.088 --> 16:50.872 [SPEAKER_00]: You know how long it takes to wipe your countertops? 16:51.313 --> 16:57.224 [SPEAKER_00]: For me, one of my countertops, 15 seconds, and do you know how good it looks after 15 seconds? 16:57.685 --> 17:02.153 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes I'll spend two days avoiding a task that takes 15 seconds. 17:02.133 --> 17:29.811 [SPEAKER_00]: think also in eating confidence is to just do things uh it's not my favorite piece of advice but I'm sure you've been told when you're in your head a lot just be a same character have you heard that you know stop thinking just do it my mom was really good at this you would always tell me just do it you just have to get it done I'm like no I have to feel the motivation to want to get it done she's like no you just do it I'm like no you don't get it 17:29.791 --> 17:52.052 [SPEAKER_00]: Something that I have to relearn over and over and over again, but she is right and each time I just do it I'm like that was so easy But I don't know why sometimes it takes me so long to to try I have to do so many mental games and mental gymnastics to get myself to wipe the countertop It's pathetic actually But then when I do it sometimes I'm just an engroupe because I think momentum 17:52.032 --> 17:53.374 [SPEAKER_00]: It's incredibly motivating. 17:53.714 --> 17:54.736 [SPEAKER_00]: You wipe the countertop. 17:54.756 --> 17:59.402 [SPEAKER_00]: You realize it took 15 seconds and then you realize okay I'll put the two mugs that are in the sink in the dishwasher. 17:59.562 --> 18:02.446 [SPEAKER_00]: You do that and then you realize I guess I could take the trash out. 18:02.827 --> 18:16.926 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay cool and then suddenly the kitchen's clean and it took you five minutes Any time I've set Sunday to clean my apartment it takes like an hour or sometimes for example my desk in this chair I have it in my head that it's gonna take a full day 18:16.906 --> 18:19.330 [SPEAKER_00]: I would be willing to bet $150. 18:19.370 --> 18:21.553 [SPEAKER_00]: It takes me less than 30 minutes. 18:21.914 --> 18:27.503 [SPEAKER_00]: Not sure why 150 came out, but it felt like a number that I was actually willing to bet, because I don't know if I'd bet a thousand. 18:27.763 --> 18:28.505 [SPEAKER_00]: It could take an hour. 18:28.925 --> 18:29.787 [SPEAKER_00]: But if you like, I would bet 150. 18:29.807 --> 18:30.087 [SPEAKER_00]: Update. 18:32.211 --> 18:33.813 [SPEAKER_00]: Guess how long you took. 18:33.833 --> 18:34.675 [SPEAKER_00]: Just take a guess. 18:35.616 --> 18:36.498 [SPEAKER_00]: Give yourself a moment. 18:36.518 --> 18:38.641 [SPEAKER_00]: Be like, oh, I bet it took this amount of time. 18:39.102 --> 18:40.244 [SPEAKER_00]: Say it in your head, say it out loud. 18:41.385 --> 18:42.407 [SPEAKER_00]: Four minutes. 18:44.935 --> 18:46.097 [SPEAKER_00]: I put it off for days. 18:46.217 --> 18:51.084 [SPEAKER_00]: It took four minutes to clean the entire room and bathroom, 12 minutes. 18:52.246 --> 18:57.274 [SPEAKER_00]: I had to take a moment of silence because she was telling me she had to her room as a disaster. 18:57.334 --> 18:59.838 [SPEAKER_00]: We always say that our house is giving us Agida. 18:59.858 --> 19:01.661 [SPEAKER_00]: It gets giving us heartburn. 19:01.881 --> 19:05.086 [SPEAKER_00]: And which is actually I think in China, but Tiger calls it Agida. 19:05.126 --> 19:06.208 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm just gone with it. 19:06.248 --> 19:11.736 [SPEAKER_00]: And now that is our code word for the house is giving us 19:11.716 --> 19:12.477 [SPEAKER_00]: anxiety. 19:12.517 --> 19:13.639 [SPEAKER_00]: It's giving us stress. 19:13.659 --> 19:15.361 [SPEAKER_00]: It's giving us heartburn. 19:15.842 --> 19:22.391 [SPEAKER_00]: And so her room was giving her Audida and she cleaned it and I was telling her after recording the podcast. 19:22.931 --> 19:24.594 [SPEAKER_00]: They got so messy. 19:24.614 --> 19:28.479 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll just get up early tomorrow and I'll do it and she's like, do it now. 19:28.599 --> 19:31.363 [SPEAKER_00]: You'll sleep so much better debating it. 19:31.503 --> 19:35.108 [SPEAKER_00]: And instead I started working on the dream board and 19:37.670 --> 19:41.337 [SPEAKER_00]: I really was like, no, at least if I do the dream board, I can feel good about that. 19:41.377 --> 19:43.621 [SPEAKER_00]: And I can work on the room whenever. 19:43.781 --> 19:45.685 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I thought, let me just get the stuff off the chair. 19:45.745 --> 19:47.268 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll put the laundry away. 19:47.308 --> 19:49.091 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll hang up the coats, whatever. 19:49.713 --> 19:57.467 [SPEAKER_00]: When I looked and saw that that took one minute, I just shook my head, talk about an aha moment, aha, yeah. 19:58.325 --> 20:00.968 [SPEAKER_00]: Four minutes, 12 minutes total. 20:01.708 --> 20:09.416 [SPEAKER_00]: And you know what, not only did I sleep better, I also got energy from it, because I got the instant gratification, and then I felt almost wired. 20:09.536 --> 20:10.778 [SPEAKER_00]: I thought, wait, I can't go to sleep. 20:10.838 --> 20:12.860 [SPEAKER_00]: I had to do a deep imagining before I went to sleep. 20:13.160 --> 20:16.864 [SPEAKER_00]: Of course, I chose to do one on confidence, no less, in the theme of this episode. 20:17.464 --> 20:20.247 [SPEAKER_00]: But my God, I had to pop back in to tell you. 20:20.287 --> 20:23.530 [SPEAKER_00]: And also I'll explain about the dream board on the Patreon. 20:23.911 --> 20:25.092 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's where I met. 20:25.612 --> 20:28.095 [SPEAKER_00]: Working through it in real time, feeling better already. 20:28.115 --> 20:33.302 [SPEAKER_00]: Now I'm gonna get into your questions that you asked for this episode on Instagram, Instagram handles, the Lexi. 20:33.322 --> 20:34.764 [SPEAKER_00]: So let's get into that. 20:34.904 --> 20:45.798 [SPEAKER_00]: And then after the question answer will be, the end of the episode, if you're listening on Spotify or Apple or wherever you listen to podcasts, but if you're a patron member, if you're on Patreon, you'll get the ad for extended episode. 20:45.898 --> 20:49.483 [SPEAKER_00]: And if that's of your curiosity of your interest, I'll have a link down below. 20:49.763 --> 20:52.847 [SPEAKER_00]: But before we get into the questions, a word from today sponsors. 20:53.368 --> 20:55.230 [SPEAKER_00]: Tyler the Girl! 20:55.987 --> 20:57.249 [SPEAKER_00]: can you talk about creatine? 20:57.609 --> 21:02.215 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, so I have my dog park friends and I showed up the other day. 21:02.255 --> 21:05.720 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like the guys there at the dog park, they like know about the gym. 21:06.101 --> 21:10.126 [SPEAKER_00]: So I brought up that I had received a PR package that included creatine. 21:10.346 --> 21:11.688 [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, what you all know about creatine? 21:12.489 --> 21:14.231 [SPEAKER_00]: And it hydrate your muscles. 21:14.752 --> 21:16.915 [SPEAKER_00]: So it makes your muscles look more plump. 21:17.215 --> 21:18.097 [SPEAKER_00]: And pumped. 21:18.659 --> 21:19.702 [SPEAKER_00]: And I've been working out. 21:19.742 --> 21:21.506 [SPEAKER_00]: I've been back in my training make classes. 21:21.586 --> 21:23.752 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm lifting weights at least three times a week. 21:23.852 --> 21:25.416 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I thought let me start taking it. 21:25.517 --> 21:33.638 [SPEAKER_00]: But then I got just some nice warnings that if you're not working out, it can make you look a little bloated you. 21:33.618 --> 21:42.532 [SPEAKER_00]: Definitely gain water weight because it's hydrating your muscles and because it's hydrating your muscles You need to make sure that you're extra careful about drinking more water. 21:42.552 --> 22:01.701 [SPEAKER_00]: Now our any of us professionals know This is pure to pure evidence and Summers coming up and they all basically were like, I don't think you should take it They're like unless you're trying to live super strong No need to be puffing a vote of your summer and Concert to everything that I've spent the beginning of this episode talking about which is 22:01.681 --> 22:03.185 [SPEAKER_00]: haters and all my motivators. 22:03.586 --> 22:05.311 [SPEAKER_00]: Having them all be like, no, don't think so. 22:05.351 --> 22:07.356 [SPEAKER_00]: That made me want to take it even more. 22:07.677 --> 22:13.934 [SPEAKER_00]: So I've been taking it for like the last week and I will say, am I training my class yesterday? 22:13.954 --> 22:16.180 [SPEAKER_00]: I was looking at my leg muscles. 22:17.408 --> 22:21.975 [SPEAKER_00]: your quad is pop in, your calf is pop in, your hamstrings look good. 22:22.036 --> 22:23.638 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna keep taking it. 22:24.059 --> 22:27.264 [SPEAKER_00]: And you know what, if I start, I had to ask them. 22:27.284 --> 22:29.287 [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, can you tell me if I start looking puffy? 22:29.608 --> 22:31.531 [SPEAKER_00]: They're all like, what's the nice way to tell you that? 22:32.252 --> 22:36.599 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I don't know, I'll just ask, should I continue taking creatine is it working for me? 22:36.700 --> 22:38.843 [SPEAKER_00]: And you have full permission to say yes or no? 22:39.143 --> 22:41.307 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's my creatine talk. 22:41.506 --> 22:48.197 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, a feral said my family dog passed away the grief feels different, any tips for honoring pets. 22:48.738 --> 22:52.204 [SPEAKER_00]: One of my best friends in the whole world just lost her soul dog. 22:52.945 --> 23:03.042 [SPEAKER_00]: This one goes out to Bella, we will Kaylee and Bella, Kaylee is my friend Bella's her dog and it was her family dog and she loved Bella so much, I loved Bella. 23:03.022 --> 23:04.624 [SPEAKER_00]: Bella was such a cutie. 23:04.704 --> 23:07.488 [SPEAKER_00]: She was a, I don't know if you call them blonde. 23:07.508 --> 23:09.070 [SPEAKER_00]: What do you call like they're not golden? 23:09.110 --> 23:13.156 [SPEAKER_00]: She's a lab, a blonde lab, a tent, you know what I'm talking about? 23:13.176 --> 23:24.632 [SPEAKER_00]: Like a lighter white lab and she was such a sweet heart and you would walk in and she would grab her little blanket, you'd show it to you and you'd give it to you. 23:24.672 --> 23:26.194 [SPEAKER_00]: And 23:26.174 --> 23:27.615 [SPEAKER_00]: I think Haley's crushed. 23:27.956 --> 23:41.147 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I think she's just a wreck because we know we know that when you get a pet that you're gonna be there for their whole life, but they're not gonna be there for all of yours. 23:41.647 --> 23:51.176 [SPEAKER_00]: My friend and I were actually discussing this over the weekend and he asked if I had heard Lord song Big Star and I had it and he said she wrote it about her dog. 23:54.018 --> 23:56.080 [SPEAKER_00]: So 23:59.131 --> 24:00.072 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so sorry. 24:00.112 --> 24:07.421 [SPEAKER_00]: Neely Mara's for new fun, low stakes, low cost hobbies. 24:08.282 --> 24:20.136 [SPEAKER_00]: Making bracelets out of string, you could rearrange your room, you know, redecorating, put your bed in a different spot, move the co-hooks. 24:21.198 --> 24:29.087 [SPEAKER_00]: You can also walk in pretty free hobby, hiking, equally free running. 24:29.067 --> 24:32.213 [SPEAKER_00]: these are all three variations of the very same thing. 24:32.253 --> 24:35.940 [SPEAKER_00]: Stretching all of that is free. 24:35.981 --> 24:42.874 [SPEAKER_00]: Any sort of at home, work out free upcycling your clothes. 24:43.192 --> 24:45.155 [SPEAKER_00]: That's pretty low-stakes, low-cost. 24:45.175 --> 24:51.126 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes I have t-shirts, I haven't been wearing, and then I'll cut the neckline or I'll crop it. 24:51.166 --> 24:52.248 [SPEAKER_00]: That's always fun. 24:52.288 --> 24:57.617 [SPEAKER_00]: Makes a few hours feel more interesting, and then I end up wearing the shirts more. 24:57.637 --> 25:02.566 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to think of something more interesting that I could give you a more creative idea. 25:02.586 --> 25:04.249 [SPEAKER_00]: I like reading Tarot. 25:04.589 --> 25:06.212 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, you know what I just got? 25:06.985 --> 25:07.666 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a grandpa. 25:08.127 --> 25:11.271 [SPEAKER_00]: So I love a board game, you know? 25:11.432 --> 25:12.473 [SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever seen that comedian? 25:12.513 --> 25:14.837 [SPEAKER_00]: He's like y'all are gamers here and he all gamers. 25:15.498 --> 25:18.682 [SPEAKER_00]: And he's, I don't know, he's got to be in this 80s at least. 25:18.823 --> 25:22.188 [SPEAKER_00]: And everyone's like, yeah, and they're like, what game do you play in some guy says video game? 25:22.588 --> 25:25.753 [SPEAKER_00]: He points to himself and he goes, tick, tick, tick, tick, oh. 25:25.733 --> 25:30.082 [SPEAKER_00]: I also love and is said, let me go in a tangent because this guy's funny to me. 25:30.222 --> 25:31.745 [SPEAKER_00]: I love an old man. 25:32.026 --> 25:32.988 [SPEAKER_00]: I love an old man. 25:33.028 --> 25:42.948 [SPEAKER_00]: Now in a romantic sexual way, just I think because my grandpa and I were so tight that I understand the essence of just I love a man in his 80s. 25:43.449 --> 25:44.511 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. 25:44.531 --> 25:45.072 [SPEAKER_00]: I get it. 25:45.092 --> 25:46.054 [SPEAKER_00]: There's a piece of me. 25:46.422 --> 25:50.868 [SPEAKER_00]: that in my soul is a man in his 80s, more than a woman in her 80s. 25:51.148 --> 25:53.011 [SPEAKER_00]: And I mean that with my full chest. 25:53.772 --> 25:57.436 [SPEAKER_00]: So he goes on with his set and he says that he has a fear of falling. 25:58.117 --> 25:59.859 [SPEAKER_00]: So he wears a helmet everywhere with him. 26:00.200 --> 26:04.646 [SPEAKER_00]: And then he continues by saying, he also is a fear of looking on cool. 26:05.226 --> 26:07.189 [SPEAKER_00]: So he carries a skateboard on him. 26:07.970 --> 26:09.612 [SPEAKER_00]: But back to the board games. 26:09.592 --> 26:17.703 [SPEAKER_00]: I just got this game called Q-Lis, and it's a solid here game, which I didn't really listen to recently, just means a solo game, like solid hair as a game that you can play by yourself. 26:18.183 --> 26:22.669 [SPEAKER_00]: Q-Lis is a game that you can play by yourself, and I've been doing that instead of being on my phone while I'm eating. 26:22.709 --> 26:27.936 [SPEAKER_00]: Once again, not really graduating to full-mindful eating, but I think that this is a beautiful baby step. 26:27.956 --> 26:28.297 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what? 26:28.677 --> 26:35.346 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe the vision, going back to an old topic on this show, maybe the vision, 26:35.849 --> 26:38.134 [SPEAKER_00]: doing a call back to earlier on in the episode. 26:38.174 --> 26:42.423 [SPEAKER_00]: The big vision is beautiful, restful, mindful eating. 26:42.684 --> 26:47.895 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm eating a meal with my loved ones and if my loved ones aren't with me, I'm eating in silence. 26:47.975 --> 26:51.883 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I think it's uncool to watch a YouTube video. 26:51.863 --> 26:57.211 [SPEAKER_00]: But the dream build, the baby step, is playing Q-list during your meal. 26:57.412 --> 26:59.795 [SPEAKER_00]: But honestly, I'm mostly just doing it when I'm having coffee in the morning. 26:59.976 --> 27:00.296 [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever. 27:00.356 --> 27:01.518 [SPEAKER_00]: None of this is important. 27:01.538 --> 27:02.399 [SPEAKER_00]: The game is Q-list. 27:02.700 --> 27:05.825 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to give you a low stakes, low cost, all of you. 27:06.546 --> 27:09.430 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a game that you shake up a bunch of letter dice in your hand. 27:09.911 --> 27:10.632 [SPEAKER_00]: And then, 27:10.612 --> 27:12.714 [SPEAKER_00]: You have to make scramble words with them. 27:13.395 --> 27:20.623 [SPEAKER_00]: It takes about 5-10 minutes, sometimes less, sometimes more depending, but if that's the right average, it's a fun game. 27:20.863 --> 27:27.650 [SPEAKER_00]: I've been drawing it myself pretty simple, but engaging enough, and then I also love the New York Times games. 27:27.690 --> 27:30.533 [SPEAKER_00]: I play those most days, and that I think is only $5 a month. 27:31.254 --> 27:33.897 [SPEAKER_00]: Macy wants to know, how do you figure out what your talents are? 27:33.917 --> 27:35.599 [SPEAKER_00]: Trylin' Air, baby! 27:35.619 --> 27:39.403 [SPEAKER_00]: You go ice skating and you realize, wow, I'm... 27:39.788 --> 27:41.890 [SPEAKER_00]: really fast and kind of light on my feet here. 27:41.950 --> 27:43.632 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe this is a natural talent. 27:44.473 --> 27:53.642 [SPEAKER_00]: You are taught to make a poster for some school assignment and you look and realize your handwriting is significantly better than everyone else isn't it took you last time. 27:53.702 --> 28:05.273 [SPEAKER_00]: You have a really strong eye or a really strong ear or a really strong nose, you know, you have a really in-depth and 28:05.506 --> 28:08.249 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that these are just things that you figure out through your life. 28:09.050 --> 28:15.458 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a little bit of interest, and then if you have a knock for it, but the best way to do it is just to keep doing things. 28:16.479 --> 28:19.843 [SPEAKER_00]: Sean Tell asked what artist have you been into lately. 28:19.923 --> 28:27.652 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure you're speaking about musicians, but I'm going to use this as an opportunity to give a shout out to a Chicago based artist. 28:28.293 --> 28:29.995 [SPEAKER_00]: Her username is... 28:29.975 --> 28:39.633 [SPEAKER_00]: Fiorenza Art, F-I-O-R-E-N-Z-A underscore art, and she has these great pieces of animals. 28:39.733 --> 28:45.184 [SPEAKER_00]: She has a lamb and bunnies and horses, and I want to buy one of her prints. 28:45.965 --> 28:50.734 [SPEAKER_00]: As for musicians, the last few days I've really been listening to a ton of a need award, 28:51.153 --> 28:52.655 [SPEAKER_00]: Her famous song is Ring My Bell. 28:52.676 --> 28:55.680 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know why I just have really felt called to listen to her. 28:55.700 --> 29:05.416 [SPEAKER_00]: I think because we play Ring My Bell in Clio a lot, it comes on when Elizabeth is in store and I really like the song, so I just started listening to a bunch of her stuff. 29:06.178 --> 29:10.625 [SPEAKER_00]: Maya Faber asked, how do you get through a rough, loodial phase? 29:11.506 --> 29:12.087 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what? 29:12.308 --> 29:17.937 [SPEAKER_00]: I think there's a lot of parallels, depression, insecurity, the loodial phase. 29:18.085 --> 29:26.857 [SPEAKER_00]: There is a three circle diagram, a little venn diagram there, for sure, and it all needs a little bit of acknowledgement. 29:27.337 --> 29:34.447 [SPEAKER_00]: They're a little bit dramatic, ludiol, depression, insecurity, all little self-centered. 29:34.467 --> 29:36.590 [SPEAKER_00]: They're like, no, no, no, it's hard for me. 29:36.930 --> 29:37.932 [SPEAKER_00]: Everything's hard for me. 29:37.992 --> 29:39.514 [SPEAKER_00]: Nobody likes me. 29:39.534 --> 29:40.936 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't like anyone. 29:40.956 --> 29:42.097 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't do anything. 29:42.137 --> 29:45.021 [SPEAKER_00]: Like those type of way-away-away thoughts. 29:46.283 --> 29:48.987 [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes it's nice to be like, I don't know I'm in my luteal face. 29:49.608 --> 29:55.498 [SPEAKER_00]: Apologize if you say something mean, you know, you're a little bit shy to a friend, a family member, like, you know what, I'm sorry. 29:55.538 --> 29:57.982 [SPEAKER_00]: Not cool, that was randomly rude. 29:58.282 --> 29:59.244 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm in my luteal face. 30:00.385 --> 30:04.171 [SPEAKER_00]: If you say something mean to yourself, be like, you know what, that was random and rude. 30:04.191 --> 30:05.794 [SPEAKER_00]: Sorry, I'm in my luteal face. 30:06.179 --> 30:12.133 [SPEAKER_00]: To just keep it pushing and realize we know that this is a phase. 30:12.353 --> 30:13.757 [SPEAKER_00]: It's literally called a phase. 30:13.877 --> 30:16.062 [SPEAKER_00]: It's the luteal phase and it's going to pass. 30:17.085 --> 30:18.568 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, man. 30:19.730 --> 30:25.321 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how to pronounce this username, but they said, how do you feel about moving to revel at car, man? 30:25.381 --> 30:27.204 [SPEAKER_00]: How do you feel about the moving to Australia plan? 30:27.264 --> 30:28.306 [SPEAKER_00]: Something you're still considering? 30:29.328 --> 30:34.378 [SPEAKER_00]: Guys, someone I know from LA was just in New Zealand. 30:34.999 --> 30:40.590 [SPEAKER_00]: The way that I turned into this man's reply, I had to DM him in a while, which I sounds like. 30:40.570 --> 30:45.497 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so sorry that I'm responding and liking all your stories like a damn creep. 30:45.717 --> 31:02.920 [SPEAKER_00]: I just love New Zealand, and I love Australia so much so when he was there, I was living by curiously through his trip, anytime I'm watching one of my Aussie friends or my New Zealand friends stories, it gives me a feeling that New York City actually used to give me. 31:03.721 --> 31:08.367 [SPEAKER_00]: Where I'd get this feeling in my chest, and I know it's calling for me, but 31:09.308 --> 31:10.790 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not ready yet. 31:11.150 --> 31:16.678 [SPEAKER_00]: I see it, I see it in my future, but I'm not there quite yet. 31:16.918 --> 31:19.602 [SPEAKER_00]: I need a stronger pull. 31:19.922 --> 31:21.364 [SPEAKER_00]: The desire is there, you know? 31:21.384 --> 31:27.072 [SPEAKER_00]: I do hate that it's so hard to bring a pet to Australia. 31:27.452 --> 31:30.757 [SPEAKER_00]: Like I don't know how I would get spoon there. 31:30.797 --> 31:36.885 [SPEAKER_00]: So I have to make sure that it really makes sense and it's something that I'm gonna be there for. 31:36.865 --> 32:02.333 [SPEAKER_00]: a long time if I'm planning on moving you know I can't just do I'm gonna be in Australia for six months like I can't do that even like a year and a half I would hate to put spoon through that kind of quarantine because if I'm not mistaken you I think you have to fly them under the plane which oh my god I couldn't I couldn't if that's true I really don't think I could 32:02.313 --> 32:07.802 [SPEAKER_00]: And then whether that's true or not, then I believe you have to have them in quarantine for a few weeks. 32:07.822 --> 32:09.485 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think you are allowed to visit them. 32:10.026 --> 32:11.929 [SPEAKER_00]: But that's a lot on a dog. 32:11.969 --> 32:12.870 [SPEAKER_00]: That's a lot. 32:13.391 --> 32:16.436 [SPEAKER_00]: So I need to make sure that it's serious. 32:16.616 --> 32:20.102 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's something that I'm considering and the poll is there. 32:20.808 --> 32:34.832 [SPEAKER_00]: And I feel it in my body when I think of Australia, when I hear a song that I was listening to while I was there, or New Zealand, I lumped them together because I truly would be happy and either, and they're so close together, relatively speaking, I need to visit again. 32:34.873 --> 32:36.876 [SPEAKER_00]: That's what I do think is the next step. 32:37.143 --> 33:05.631 [SPEAKER_00]: And I put it as one of my 12 wishes I was thinking about that this morning because for those that don't know, I wrote down 12 wishes from the winter sources to the new year and I burned one every single night and the first 11 those wishes when you burn them that's up to your spirit guys that's up to the universe that's up to God that's up to the external world and then on New Year's day you open up the last wish and that one is your responsibility. 33:05.611 --> 33:08.875 [SPEAKER_00]: and the one that's my responsibility is clear communication skills. 33:10.117 --> 33:15.864 [SPEAKER_00]: It's hard, you know, I think I'm pretty communicative because I'm introspective. 33:16.625 --> 33:18.087 [SPEAKER_00]: You hear me on this podcast. 33:18.267 --> 33:26.378 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm thinking, I'm not not thinking, but I have trouble communicating my needs in real time. 33:26.398 --> 33:34.909 [SPEAKER_00]: I've communicating, I will let things slide and then realize I shouldn't have let them slide and then it sort of feels too late. 33:35.041 --> 33:37.645 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, that sort of situation I run into a lot. 33:38.507 --> 33:40.570 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm really going off topic. 33:41.932 --> 33:45.057 [SPEAKER_00]: One of my wishes was to go back to Australia and New Zealand. 33:46.019 --> 33:51.227 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm really wondering how that's going to happen because I really feels like it's in my control. 33:51.327 --> 33:52.369 [SPEAKER_00]: But I need a reason. 33:52.449 --> 33:56.135 [SPEAKER_00]: I was just with one of my friends over the weekend, and I said, we have to go back to Australia. 33:56.295 --> 34:01.403 [SPEAKER_00]: We didn't go together, but she happened to be in Australia when I was in Australia and we have to run it back. 34:01.383 --> 34:03.506 [SPEAKER_00]: She didn't go to Byron and she needs to go to Byron. 34:03.987 --> 34:09.935 [SPEAKER_00]: This person also asked what resolutions and tensions have you set for the new year of any, so that's actually a perfect transition. 34:09.995 --> 34:12.298 [SPEAKER_00]: What did I write as my 12 wishes? 34:12.679 --> 34:14.181 [SPEAKER_00]: That would be really fun to look at. 34:14.762 --> 34:15.443 [SPEAKER_00]: This is easy. 34:15.483 --> 34:16.785 [SPEAKER_00]: I can be like December 21st. 34:16.945 --> 34:19.428 [SPEAKER_00]: I think was this solstice. 34:19.449 --> 34:21.231 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, even when I went to search. 34:21.532 --> 34:29.804 [SPEAKER_00]: The things I wrote down were Cleo Growth, Confidence Selling, because now I have my own products, grief circles, something I want to host. 34:30.325 --> 34:39.118 [SPEAKER_00]: Only Miracle Success, which is Elizabeth Owens Cleo and only Miracles, that's her Prison Reform Charity. 34:39.098 --> 35:05.747 [SPEAKER_00]: unlock my power and use it true romance someone who sweeps me off my feet a video grief series more retainers just you know working with brands on a routinely basis a happy healthy puppy clear communication skills a pretty closet and visit australia in New Zealand I hope those weren't too personal they don't seem like incredibly personal maybe like the maybe the most personal one is unlock my power and use it 35:06.250 --> 35:10.096 [SPEAKER_00]: But you know, remind myself who I am, remind myself who I am. 35:10.136 --> 35:12.279 [SPEAKER_00]: Two can't Sam Smith. 35:12.319 --> 35:18.408 [SPEAKER_00]: It advised for someone thinking about moving across the country, but scared, I have never moved in regretted it. 35:18.428 --> 35:19.450 [SPEAKER_00]: Ever. 35:20.451 --> 35:28.784 [SPEAKER_00]: When I moved to LA, even when I thought this is not the place for me when I moved to when I was 18, I never once regretted moving to LA. 35:29.024 --> 35:30.967 [SPEAKER_00]: It makes you so proud of yourself. 35:31.007 --> 35:32.730 [SPEAKER_00]: Talk about building confidence, 35:33.487 --> 35:44.241 [SPEAKER_00]: giving yourself a year, I think it's so valuable to your own personal growth and independence to leave your hometown and move as far away as possible. 35:44.842 --> 36:00.422 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, even if it's just to another state if that's the level in which you feel comfortable with, but if you have a desire to move across the country, do it, you will feel so proud of yourself when you're looking back on your life, like, I fucking did it. 36:00.402 --> 36:07.830 [SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to go from California to New York, I wanted to go from Florida to Seattle, I wanted to go from 36:08.840 --> 36:31.253 [SPEAKER_00]: North Dakota to Austin, Texas, whatever it is that you're feeling, you will feel so proud of yourself, even during the moments that you're scared or you get there and you're like, I'm lonely, I don't know anyone, it, it breeds so much self-assurance, never once, when I move to LA, to New York, back to LA, never once, have I regretted it? 36:33.443 --> 36:38.010 [SPEAKER_00]: Two can Sam Smith also has what's your go-to coffee or tea or these days. 36:38.691 --> 36:40.914 [SPEAKER_00]: I've been making almond milk lattes at home. 36:41.194 --> 36:42.316 [SPEAKER_00]: I have an espresso machine. 36:42.476 --> 36:43.097 [SPEAKER_00]: It's pretty cute. 36:43.337 --> 36:44.078 [SPEAKER_00]: It's smake. 36:44.099 --> 36:45.100 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't have the breath of one. 36:45.400 --> 36:46.442 [SPEAKER_00]: I think you should get the smake. 36:46.502 --> 36:47.063 [SPEAKER_00]: It's so cute. 36:47.403 --> 36:48.645 [SPEAKER_00]: No one asked. 36:48.665 --> 36:50.227 [SPEAKER_00]: I make almond milk lattes. 36:50.989 --> 36:54.213 [SPEAKER_00]: And then if I'm out, I'm really not into anything. 36:54.614 --> 36:58.860 [SPEAKER_00]: My favorite coffee order right now can be neatly is the one to make at home. 36:58.840 --> 37:06.612 [SPEAKER_00]: which is really economical for me, just out of pure coincidence, and then I love a nice tubiscus tea. 37:07.513 --> 37:18.790 [SPEAKER_00]: Linda wants to know, how do I deal best with getting dumped by my situation, 37:19.428 --> 37:28.924 [SPEAKER_00]: It sucks, maybe for the ego, but if it didn't even make it into relationship stage, you just have to trust, it wasn't supposed to. 37:28.965 --> 37:33.372 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, and it's a little bit of, as I said, like, that sucks. 37:33.693 --> 37:34.334 [SPEAKER_00]: That's annoying. 37:34.955 --> 37:36.778 [SPEAKER_00]: But it's not heartbreaking. 37:36.758 --> 37:53.535 [SPEAKER_00]: I would deal with it by leveling up if I have a bruised ego the way that I guess I don't know if your heart is hurt by this or if your ego is bruised by this Assuming since it's a situation chip and not a relationship I'm gonna go with ego on this one so I'll tell you how I would handle it 37:53.515 --> 37:55.377 [SPEAKER_00]: And he's had my ego as bruised. 37:56.098 --> 37:57.981 [SPEAKER_00]: I work on building up my ego. 37:58.301 --> 38:00.624 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, if my heart is heard, I have to nurture my heart. 38:01.004 --> 38:03.868 [SPEAKER_00]: If my ego is bruised, I have to nurture my ego. 38:04.088 --> 38:08.714 [SPEAKER_00]: So, for example, I recently was invited on a sunrise hike. 38:08.934 --> 38:13.460 [SPEAKER_00]: Do I really feel like waking up at four in the morning and driving for an hour? 38:13.500 --> 38:15.102 [SPEAKER_00]: No. 38:15.082 --> 38:21.198 [SPEAKER_00]: But, getting to tell people, I went on a sunrise hike in Malibu yesterday. 38:21.218 --> 38:24.066 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, do you know the ego boost that gives me? 38:24.126 --> 38:25.750 [SPEAKER_00]: Huge! 38:26.084 --> 38:26.885 [SPEAKER_00]: huge. 38:27.686 --> 38:28.988 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, Spoon just started to get up. 38:29.028 --> 38:31.312 [SPEAKER_00]: Spoon's been sleeping by my side this entire episode. 38:32.433 --> 38:33.895 [SPEAKER_00]: And he heard me say that H.I. 38:33.976 --> 38:34.657 [SPEAKER_00]: K.E. 38:34.677 --> 38:34.877 [SPEAKER_00]: Ward. 38:35.297 --> 38:37.961 [SPEAKER_00]: He came with me and he had the absolute best time. 38:38.001 --> 38:44.851 [SPEAKER_00]: So my advice is if your heart is hurt, do what you need to do to nurture your heart and be kind to yourself. 38:44.992 --> 38:49.098 [SPEAKER_00]: If your ego is bruised, do things that are going to just fuel your ego. 38:49.118 --> 38:52.142 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, Nika, I feel you. 38:52.409 --> 38:54.712 [SPEAKER_00]: If you couldn't work out for three weeks, what would you do? 38:54.752 --> 38:56.495 [SPEAKER_00]: Prentices, I'm injured, non-cretches. 38:56.615 --> 39:03.786 [SPEAKER_00]: I hurt my back at the end of November beginning December, and I went about a month and a half without working out, and it sucked. 39:04.066 --> 39:04.907 [SPEAKER_00]: I hated it. 39:04.927 --> 39:07.952 [SPEAKER_00]: And I didn't realize how much I hated it at the time. 39:08.352 --> 39:14.181 [SPEAKER_00]: I thought it was a bit of a bummer, but it wasn't until I regularly started working out, again, that I realized how much it bothered me. 39:14.161 --> 39:16.784 [SPEAKER_00]: and how much happier I feel working out regularly. 39:16.824 --> 39:19.908 [SPEAKER_00]: But I really dove into crafts during that time. 39:20.148 --> 39:22.351 [SPEAKER_00]: I made a ton of journals, for instance. 39:23.032 --> 39:29.460 [SPEAKER_00]: Anything that I could just do with my hands as opposed to my full body, you know, maybe that's cooking, for example, dumplings. 39:29.500 --> 39:31.142 [SPEAKER_00]: I've really been into dumplings recently. 39:31.523 --> 39:39.072 [SPEAKER_00]: You could so easily be sitting in a chair and make that and, you know, take the little scoop of the filling and then wrap it in the dumpling. 39:39.132 --> 39:43.898 [SPEAKER_00]: There's very hands-on activities that I would participate in just to keep 39:43.878 --> 39:46.042 [SPEAKER_00]: My hands busy, my mind busy. 39:46.082 --> 39:46.884 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what you should play? 39:46.984 --> 40:06.240 [SPEAKER_00]: Kuelis drink your morning coffee and play a game of Kuelis And it's called Kuelis because there's no cues in the package Elas if you could have a PhD understanding of a topic what would it be Love from India or Indiana just I and it's hard to tell 40:06.220 --> 40:08.784 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I have a lot of international listeners, you know? 40:09.144 --> 40:15.473 [SPEAKER_00]: It wouldn't surprise me if there's honestly, I'm not kidding, a 50-50 shot between India and Indiana. 40:15.493 --> 40:20.079 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I would love to have a PhD level understanding and everything. 40:20.099 --> 40:35.400 [SPEAKER_00]: My knee jerk response was sociology or psychology, but then it would really be cool to have one in neuroscience. 40:35.937 --> 40:48.914 [SPEAKER_00]: It would be great to have one in the environment, environmental sciences, biology, anatomy, politics, geopolitics, international politics. 40:49.595 --> 40:50.757 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know everything. 40:50.777 --> 40:52.519 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to know everything. 40:53.521 --> 40:56.865 [SPEAKER_00]: Dream vacation Rachel wants to know any vacation's planned. 40:57.183 --> 40:59.567 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I have a wedding that I'm going to. 40:59.587 --> 41:01.411 [SPEAKER_00]: So that will be fun. 41:01.611 --> 41:03.715 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I know I'm going to Portugal this year. 41:03.755 --> 41:07.882 [SPEAKER_00]: I think I'm going to go to Paris this year and I'm going to go to London this year. 41:07.902 --> 41:09.886 [SPEAKER_00]: I would love to go back to Australia. 41:09.906 --> 41:13.532 [SPEAKER_00]: My birthday is coming up, and I'm trying to do a ski trip. 41:13.592 --> 41:14.634 [SPEAKER_00]: But I don't know. 41:14.674 --> 41:16.778 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm feeling kind of unmotivated by that. 41:16.876 --> 41:30.935 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just I'm not ever inspired in March to go do a big thing, but because that's the celebration of my birth, it's like I feel inclined to do a thing, I wish my birthday was in summer, you know? 41:31.255 --> 41:34.199 [SPEAKER_00]: But I have, you know, a good bit of trips planned. 41:34.780 --> 41:36.442 [SPEAKER_00]: Australia, New Zealand would be my dream. 41:36.662 --> 41:39.306 [SPEAKER_00]: I would love to do the trip that I took this time last year. 41:39.286 --> 41:43.670 [SPEAKER_00]: All over again can me and I on tour with Baybrain though. 41:44.211 --> 41:49.636 [SPEAKER_00]: I I would do it all over again That was the best few weeks of my life. 41:50.456 --> 41:51.517 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, it's everything to me. 41:51.698 --> 41:53.299 [SPEAKER_00]: It was so Good. 41:53.359 --> 41:54.480 [SPEAKER_00]: It was perfect. 41:54.680 --> 41:55.361 [SPEAKER_00]: It was a dream. 41:55.461 --> 41:56.622 [SPEAKER_00]: It was a dream vacation. 41:56.662 --> 41:57.663 [SPEAKER_00]: It was a dream trip. 41:58.204 --> 42:06.171 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, this is such a good question Eva Grace create asked when's the last all-how moment you had that may do laugh out loud and shed it tear 42:06.607 --> 42:08.251 [SPEAKER_00]: mm-hmm. 42:08.271 --> 42:08.692 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 42:09.153 --> 42:15.527 [SPEAKER_00]: The last aha moment I had was in the car on the way here, realizing, oh my god, you're seeking validation. 42:15.768 --> 42:17.893 [SPEAKER_00]: You're actually looking for approval right now. 42:17.953 --> 42:19.436 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, why when did this start? 42:20.098 --> 42:21.581 [SPEAKER_00]: So that was a little bit of an aha moment. 42:22.162 --> 42:25.189 [SPEAKER_00]: When was the last one that made me laugh out loud? 42:25.169 --> 42:25.910 [SPEAKER_00]: all the time. 42:26.191 --> 42:34.506 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm constantly having little, oh, that's so, of course, type moments that make me laugh, but nothing specific is coming to my mind. 42:35.487 --> 42:44.764 [SPEAKER_00]: And then the last time I shed its hair was in a breath work class, and I started thinking about my friend, one at who is in Australia, 42:44.744 --> 42:46.347 [SPEAKER_00]: And I forgot the other friend. 42:46.487 --> 42:47.309 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, of course. 42:47.749 --> 42:48.591 [SPEAKER_00]: Two of my guy friends. 42:48.671 --> 42:53.420 [SPEAKER_00]: I started crying over two of my guy friends and what great men they are and how much I love them. 42:54.261 --> 42:58.609 [SPEAKER_00]: And it was an aha moment of like these are such incredible people. 42:58.649 --> 43:07.545 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm so lucky to get to watch them live their lives and see it during the same lifetime as them. 43:07.525 --> 43:15.863 [SPEAKER_00]: Neely, the same person who asked new fun low stakes low cost hobbies, asked how to revamp your space without spending a lot of money. 43:16.565 --> 43:20.073 [SPEAKER_00]: Rearranging, do you go potty? 43:20.093 --> 43:22.137 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, got to take a break. 43:22.638 --> 43:26.547 [SPEAKER_00]: Wow, I just have to say, Spoon is so communicative. 43:26.864 --> 43:28.687 [SPEAKER_00]: He has clear communication skills. 43:29.548 --> 43:32.112 [SPEAKER_00]: Do I have incredible recognition? 43:32.132 --> 43:32.913 [SPEAKER_00]: Always no. 43:33.274 --> 43:35.517 [SPEAKER_00]: But I've really gone to learn. 43:35.557 --> 43:39.023 [SPEAKER_00]: Him telling me at least like when he needs to go outside. 43:39.063 --> 43:44.451 [SPEAKER_00]: He's been quiet this entire time, gets down, makes one sound walks towards the door. 43:45.342 --> 43:47.185 [SPEAKER_00]: It's really, it's really something. 43:47.225 --> 44:00.449 [SPEAKER_00]: Dogs are so much smarter than I realized, which sounds so, which sounds so shallow of me, maybe, but maybe I just didn't have the brightest dogs growing up. 44:01.270 --> 44:03.334 [SPEAKER_00]: Spoon so smart. 44:03.314 --> 44:08.144 [SPEAKER_00]: About the example I'm using, but just generally he's super trainable. 44:08.164 --> 44:22.875 [SPEAKER_00]: He has poodle in him, so I think it's that because I think poodles are particularly smart, but you know, my cousin who has a boxer, my cousin who has a boxer, we're just comparing and just the level of intelligence was vastly different and every dog is different. 44:22.895 --> 44:24.057 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't even really know. 44:24.425 --> 44:29.931 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, why I have to put down another dog to just say that spoon of smart spoon. 44:29.971 --> 44:30.912 [SPEAKER_00]: You are smart. 44:31.533 --> 44:32.514 [SPEAKER_00]: He's under the blanket now. 44:32.954 --> 44:34.576 [SPEAKER_00]: So you have a full picture. 44:34.596 --> 44:35.697 [SPEAKER_00]: All right. 44:35.878 --> 44:39.582 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't and I was gonna end up as nobody can't end the episode on that. 44:39.982 --> 44:47.670 [SPEAKER_00]: And what I'm going to do for the Patreon episode is I'm gonna as I said make my little vision essence and dream build boards. 44:48.331 --> 44:53.757 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think I'm going to discuss that process and what I come up with in the Patreon episode if the 44:53.737 --> 44:56.021 [SPEAKER_00]: of your interest because that's a little bit more personal. 44:56.141 --> 44:59.828 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you want the personal details, you can get it there and as I said I'll have a link down below. 45:00.149 --> 45:08.645 [SPEAKER_00]: The last question I'm going to answer is how to start a new hobby when you're struggling with motivation. 45:08.825 --> 45:10.328 [SPEAKER_00]: If you're struggling with motivation, 45:10.628 --> 45:21.028 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to give the same advice that I've been giving to the luteal phase, to the lack of confidence, to just acknowledge, to be like, I'm going to season where I am not motivated to do anything. 45:21.489 --> 45:28.823 [SPEAKER_00]: And as soon as I admit something like that to myself, it takes the pressure off and I find doing anything that much easier. 45:29.478 --> 45:32.001 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, you have to clean your room, you have to clean your room. 45:32.021 --> 45:33.724 [SPEAKER_00]: Suddenly it feels like this daunting task. 45:34.184 --> 45:41.674 [SPEAKER_00]: If I tell myself, you can let this pile increase day over day until the rest of your life until you move out of this building. 45:42.075 --> 45:43.116 [SPEAKER_00]: You can live in filth. 45:43.396 --> 45:44.017 [SPEAKER_00]: That's fine. 45:44.358 --> 45:47.542 [SPEAKER_00]: Then suddenly I'm like, well, I would never. 45:48.163 --> 45:49.404 [SPEAKER_00]: I would absolutely never. 45:49.464 --> 45:50.706 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm better than that. 45:50.726 --> 45:53.450 [SPEAKER_00]: Almost like my ego can't allow that. 45:53.590 --> 45:54.591 [SPEAKER_00]: But if I'm... 45:54.571 --> 46:05.288 [SPEAKER_00]: It's all a mental game, at least that's how it is for me, so if you want to start a new hobby, but you're struggling with motivation, let it be, rest relax, you know? 46:05.308 --> 46:11.017 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe the hobby is learning how to slow down, be still and not have guilt over it. 46:11.037 --> 46:14.082 [SPEAKER_00]: Everything about that, you know? 46:14.062 --> 46:22.458 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'll leave you on that note, and for my Patreon numbers, let's see what I come up with for my three sort of vision boards. 46:23.019 --> 46:31.736 [SPEAKER_00]: For everyone else, I've been back on YouTube posted two vlogs in the last week, so if you want a little visual diary, that's where you can get it. 46:32.237 --> 46:36.205 [SPEAKER_00]: If you want an actual physical diary, I'm making them 46:36.185 --> 46:43.038 [SPEAKER_00]: buy-and and they're available at CleoInstore or on CleoHaze.com and I will link that down below. 46:43.058 --> 46:46.644 [SPEAKER_00]: And for my podcast listeners, thank you so much for listening. 46:46.664 --> 46:49.008 [SPEAKER_00]: It means the world's me and I will talk to you guys very soon. 46:49.389 --> 46:51.493 [SPEAKER_00]: Take care, XOXO, Lexi.