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[SPEAKER_00]: Christian parenting, there is one observation that I have about homeschool moms.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It does not matter how old you are, how old your children are, where exactly you live.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I have noticed that homeschool moms are always evaluating and questioning how they are homeschooling.

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[SPEAKER_00]: In other words, you are trying to be intentional and I love that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I know the word intentional tends to be a buzz word nowadays.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's been my word for a very long time.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I tend to be, if everyone's talking about a word, I kind of don't want to talk about the word.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, if everybody gets into watching a TV show that I have been watching, I stop watching the TV show.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't watch TV anymore, but this is like back in the day.

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[SPEAKER_00]: If everybody's talking about a book, I don't really want to read it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I guess this is the secret rebel in me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: but I noticed just the intentionality about a lot of homeschool moms.

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[SPEAKER_00]: There are some that struggle with it and I hope that through this podcast you have started to look a little bit more because not all of us get into homeschool already wired for all of that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Some of us get into it because we're avoiding something.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We don't want our kids in school and therefore this is the choice and we're like, okay, I'm going to have to work at this and I hope that this podcast is an

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[SPEAKER_00]: but we are always evaluating and questioning how we are homeschooling.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so today I want to talk to you about three ways that I noticed across the board where homeschool moms can go wrong with homeschooling.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I share these because maybe you're falling into one, two, or three, or maybe you're in one of them right now and you don't quite recognize it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to throw you that lifeline and help pull you out.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So let's do it right now.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Little By Little Home School Podcast.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I am your host, Lee Nguyen.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I am so glad that you are here for today's episode.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I am a mom at the end of my journey.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And as I record this right now, I have my final home school or he is out in our garage working on a car project.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So today is, well, this week overall.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Actually, the past month or so has been a major elective season.

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[SPEAKER_00]: for our homeschool and that's the beauty of homeschool and the really cool thing that I have found that it doesn't have to be where you do every single subject every single day.

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[SPEAKER_00]: There can be a season, for example, that's right now, where he's really heavy into the electives.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We're still getting some other things done and then we'll swing cut a back and we'll focus on some of those other things again and it all will even out.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm glad that you are here for today's episode no matter where you are in the home school journey.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So now let's get into.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Three ways at the home school mom, it usually goes wrong in her home schooling.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure you've heard that saying where you take your hand and you point your one finger and you're pointing at somebody and what is going on with the other three fingers?

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[SPEAKER_00]: They're pointing back at you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure that you have seen the illustration.

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[SPEAKER_00]: If you're not sure I'm talking about, take your hand right now and just say you're pointing at the wall in front of you, don't do it one of your kids and I think that they're in trouble or something like that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: with there's three fingers that are pointing back at you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I am not exposing these three things because we can think of those three things as these three fingers because I have done all of these.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I've noticed it among of many other homeschool moms.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I think it just tends to be a common theme.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I want to expose these, but then just not leave them.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's not like I'm opening something up.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's not like opening up a wound and just leaving it there.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Hopefully it's on as bad as it won't.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It shouldn't be that bad.

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[SPEAKER_00]: This isn't that serious, okay?

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's all recoverable.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But we should probably cover up that wound put something there to kind of help heal it and bandage it up.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm hoping to give you some tools on taking the next steps to maybe get out of that ditch out of those trench that you have gotten yourself into.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So let's get into it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Three ways at the home school moms usually go wrong.

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[SPEAKER_00]: The first is

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[SPEAKER_00]: This one's going to be obvious and you might roll your eyes at first.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You might try to hit skip.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Don't hit skip on this one, okay?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Listen through, it won't be long.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But that is using the school as a plum line.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Most likely, you went to...

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[SPEAKER_00]: Cool.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Most of us went to public school.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Some of us went to private school, but either way, the system is set up the same.

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[SPEAKER_00]: private schools, as far as I know, still have to follow the educational laws within each state.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Therefore, they have certain criteria that they have to meet.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And it typically needs to happen in a certain way.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't mean that all private schools have to function in a classroom setting like a school does, but there needs to be metrics.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And when you have that many,

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[SPEAKER_00]: young people, you have that many children, you have to have some type of order, and there has to be some type of strict order.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So in that way, our homeschool should be very different.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It should be a family living their life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: sharpening one another, you know, iron sharpening iron, but parents also sharpening children and our children often sharpen us as well.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But we are living life as a family at home.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Then if we choose to go out and to take our home education on the road to co-op or to a park or to get in our RV and actually take it really on the road.

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[SPEAKER_00]: School, just the, the, we'll just say the factory kind of look of it is obviously something that we don't need to copy in our home.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And that one, again, it's pretty obvious to us and not many of us go that long with it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of us, maybe we'll try to set up a day a schedule like that and I'm never during COVID some of these schedules that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Apparently, I'm not quite sure if they were teachers that were putting it out saying this is what you can do with the home or home schoolers I was putting this out, hopefully not the latter that we're putting it out, but I like when this time of this time do this and then this time of this time do this No, we know as home schoolers that does not work.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You might have been like me and try it out and it didn't work But let's dive in a little bit more to the education and the way that they do school.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mentioned earlier in their introduction to this about the fact that

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[SPEAKER_00]: Right now, our homeschool year is a little different.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We're not sitting down, making sure this past month or so that we are hitting every single subject every single day.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We can take times and think of it as blocks of times.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You can think of it as some messters if you want.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We are really focused on something.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So there is a car project in auto fixing.

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[SPEAKER_00]: adventure will call it that my high school senior has been working on and we need to get this vehicle back on the road.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So that's been a bit of focus.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm recording this actually in the morning.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I typically tend to do that kind of stuff in the afternoon, but this afternoon we are going to head over and do the auto body shop who is painting some parts for this and going

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[SPEAKER_00]: Therefore, it's like, okay, while you're out there getting some of this final stuff done, I'm going to record my episodes, but that's homeschool.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so it doesn't have to look like doing school the same exact way.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And then if you're not doing it like that, to think that you are less then.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So a plum line.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So that is something, I think we all know what a plum line is.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like the measure, like this is the line that we are going to measure.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to build something.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We are going to measure from.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so when we use it, uh, the school as a plum line in our homeschool, we are measuring ourselves, our children, against that, using that as the plum line.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I would say, toss that plum line out.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Let's not do that anymore.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Let's instead take a look at our children individually and not even compare them to one another.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And just say, are we progressing?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Are they getting better at their math facts?

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[SPEAKER_00]: No, they're not okay.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, they're not a failure.

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[SPEAKER_00]: They're not behind.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I need to be a little more creative with it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe just sitting there with flashcards memorizing the math facts is not going well.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you can find some type of song or a game or a story that will help them to remember those math facts.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So one of the big ways that we usually go wrong with homeschooling is that we use school as the plumb line and that is always, always, always, always, always going to feel like we are not measuring up because we aren't going to be doing things the same exact way, but I promise to assure you that it will even out in the end and my hope is that your homeschooler is even excelling even more in the end than if you were to use that school as a plumb line.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Number two, of how moms usually go wrong with homeschooling, is making the home education a heavy burden just upon your own shoulders.

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[SPEAKER_00]: As moms, we bear a lot of the way to the family and the organization of the family and the keeping of the home upon our own shoulders.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And whether you're home educating one child, three, five, eight, 12, 20, that burden can be heavy.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Again, doesn't matter if it's one child or 20 children, that burden still is heavy.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And when we say to ourselves, I am the beginning middle and end of their home education.

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[SPEAKER_00]: we're putting way too much pressure on ourselves and we're actually denying them some other resources some great ways of learning.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so for example, this auto body shop we're going to this afternoon do a do I need to put this on my oh no I'm not putting the burden of figuring out how to fix a car on my shoulders, absolutely not.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to go over there and the guy is so great and we've already met him and talked to him and so I'm going to go along because we have

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to be asking questions and we're going to talk about business and how did you start to shop and all these things but also just about it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to help draw out maybe a little bit more education than my son would maybe think to, you know, to do and but that's just a little like just a little small part.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We can join co-ops.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We can pull dad into it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We can help our children

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[SPEAKER_00]: But also the other side of this is, when we put this heavy burden upon ourselves, we just walk around with like a weight, a weight upon ourselves that is too much to bear.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Not that educating your children is too much.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We think back a thousand years, women weren't walking around with this heavy weight upon their shoulders.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We have this heavy weight upon our shoulders because oftentimes you can be under some scrutiny, whether that is family or neighbors or people just in the community or just in general, like, oh, a little skeptical of those homeschoolers.

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[SPEAKER_00]: They even gonna be able to get into college.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And if you don't send your kids to college,

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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, as someone whose three kids have opted not to go to college, they were all educated enough in a way that they could have gotten into whatever college they wanted to pursue like where do you want to go to school, but they have all chosen different paths and at times that kind of raised some eyebrows, I'm like, no, this is what they're choosing they're opting not to college is a path.

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[SPEAKER_00]: it is not the path for every child.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It might be a path for some kids, but it doesn't have to be for all kids.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so we have this burden upon like, well, they have to reach these highest goals and they have to be able to do all these things.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, what if you have a child that just, they can do their good math, their basic math,

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[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, they dabble in some algebra and geometry.

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[SPEAKER_00]: They know they're consumer and math well, but they're brilliant in other ways.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That is fine.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Think about the adults in your life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We have places that we are brilliant in, and we have places that we are not as brilliant in.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But we get by, and then we rely on other people who are more brilliant in those types of areas.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Comes to your taxes.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You're like, I am not good at that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I hire an accountant to do that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So just think of that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Do I hire that accountant and then do I ask that accountant to come over and paint a mural on my wall?

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[SPEAKER_00]: No, it's not going to be the same person to do those things.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So allow God to shoulder that burden that you feel.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Let it go.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Have some fun with your kids before you know it this time, the season of life will draw to an end.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And you're going to say, I wish that I didn't walk around with just this heaviness and this fear.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's really

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[SPEAKER_00]: upon my shoulders and I wish that I had just let go a little bit dance in the kitchen more took more field trips took more days We just went on a hike or we just sat outside under the tree with a picnic blanket and red books or I just read while the kids played instead of having just this heavy burden Because of fear upon my shoulders Number three

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[SPEAKER_00]: oftentimes with homeschooling, we can kind of go wrong when we allow the pendulum to swing too far from one side to another.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So we often can see this in raising of children.

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[SPEAKER_00]: For example, think about some my parents are boomers.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And we're raised just very children should be seen and should not be heard.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Then me, Gen X, we were raised a bit more like, okay, go ahead, go do whatever we'll see you, when the, I mean, they say the street lights turn on, but I lived in a place there was no street lights.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It was kind of like, dinner time issue, we would show up at home and just kind of run through the neighborhood during the summer, that kind of stuff.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And then the pendulum can swing, you know, that's just an example.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Just swinging from one end to another just with parenting.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But in homeschool, we can individually swing from one to another.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You can swing from being extremely strict with your homeschooling.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We have certain hours that we homeschooled.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying that either one of these is wrong.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But instead of trying to find a happy medium, we often tend to become legalistic and swing to one end and say, we need to cover all of this ground and become a drill sergeant.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Or we can swing to the other end and just be like, let it on and on and on and everybody even get up today.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not even quite sure what's going on and those can be extreme examples.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But when you are starting to sense an issue, maybe your homeschool, something is in going right, instead of swinging completely to the other end, just make a small shift, just make one change.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And see if that is all that is needed to be done.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think that in homeschooling,

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[SPEAKER_00]: It is important for our kids to do some things that they, as far as academics, that they just don't want to do.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Because it teaches them some character.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It teaches them to push through, it teaches them how to learn how their mind works when it's under pressure and when it's under difficulty.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And we want our kids to be able to read well, to write well, to be able to do math well.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And those are the basics, and it's really good that obviously, for them to,

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[SPEAKER_00]: have a certain knowledge of science, and of history, and of state of theics, and government, and music, and art, and creating maybe a child that just is a little bit more well-rounded, and well versed in things, always though, with a Bible as the center, don't want to miss that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And the episode that we did that I did on Monday, specifically kind of talked about that in faith, and hopefully that was an encouragement to you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But I think what we go wrong is when we swing the pendulum too far.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We say, oh, I'm I'm I'm just being too strict.

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[SPEAKER_00]: All of these homeschool influencers are saying that I need to be like this.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And you swing together when your kids like it and whiplash like, okay, this is like, we have Dr. Jack Ole Mr. Hyde as mom.

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[SPEAKER_00]: She's got multiple personalities here.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We don't always have to swing too far, maybe just take a couple of steps closer to the middle and be able to find that happy medium where our kids are able to be productive members of society and they understand how it functions, they understand how government works, maybe they understand how to go and to vote and to do their grocery shopping and meal plan, but they also understand some of the harder things and

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[SPEAKER_00]: and you've allowed them also freedom to pursue their hobbies and their interests in their electives.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I really think that there is a middle road that seems to suit many homeschool families really well.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So what do you think about those three do you tend to see those in yourself and with others?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I hope this is episode was not a doom and gloom.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That was not

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[SPEAKER_00]: supposed to be it at all, hopefully at the end you have found some hope and encouragement.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That is always what I want to present.

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[SPEAKER_00]: There are tough things to talk about when it comes to homeschool and raising children and just the culture and all that we are up against as Christian moms.

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[SPEAKER_00]: but there is always hope that hope is always found in Jesus, and I think that it is better for us to not live, we don't have to bury our heads in the sand.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But we also don't need to live in a place of fear and anxiety and worry because we know ultimately how it all ends and we know who is King and who sits on the throne.

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[SPEAKER_00]: If you enjoyed today's episode, you enjoy a little by little homeschool podcast and what I put out just in general and you would like to get it straight to your inbox every Tuesday I send out a two tip Tuesday and share some more information some behind the scenes and photos and just homeschool stuff.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So if you're listening to this episode, you probably like homeschool stuff.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Why not get it into your inbox?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Go ahead and check out the link in the show notes and you can get that sent to you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It'll pop into your inbox coming this Tuesday.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for joining me today friend for this episode, and I'll see you back here after the weekend.

