WEBVTT 00:02.377 --> 00:06.022 [SPEAKER_00]: Christian parenting. 00:06.042 --> 00:15.356 [SPEAKER_00]: Too often as homeschool moms, we feel like we have to be 100% perfect at the homeschooling and as a mom and as a wife and we know that's not going to happen. 00:15.757 --> 00:19.963 [SPEAKER_00]: In the back of our mind, we think that there's a possibility of that. 00:20.298 --> 00:25.944 [SPEAKER_00]: And that tends to be what we hold up as the ideal for every day. 00:26.424 --> 00:27.525 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, what about with our faith? 00:27.946 --> 00:35.934 [SPEAKER_00]: We think that we have to be 100% perfect with the way that we act and behave and our thought life and the way we react to our kids and everything's going to be great. 00:36.395 --> 00:37.716 [SPEAKER_00]: We know that we're not going to be perfect. 00:38.156 --> 00:40.699 [SPEAKER_00]: There was only one that ever lived, that was perfect, and that was Jesus. 00:41.159 --> 00:46.365 [SPEAKER_00]: But still, in the back of our mind, we think that there is this high ideal and it's possible to achieve. 00:46.465 --> 00:47.966 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, this doesn't mean we should be slackers. 00:47.986 --> 00:49.528 [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to get into all that. 00:49.508 --> 00:58.427 [SPEAKER_00]: This is not the kind of episode that is going to cause you to feel guilt and just wallow in that guilt. 00:58.647 --> 01:08.428 [SPEAKER_00]: That is not the goal today, but I do hope that it is an encouragement to you and that it also spurs you onto some change. 01:08.408 --> 01:27.227 [SPEAKER_00]: Before every single episode, I sit and I just pray Lord guide my words and I'm not going to say the most perfect words all the time and I will actually go after episodes and think, oh, I should have said that or I shouldn't have said that and I'm like, you know what, it is what it is I don't feel like I said anything that was too often wrong or 01:27.207 --> 01:34.782 [SPEAKER_00]: That I shouldn't have said, but there's always more to be able to be said, but I do always just ask God to just give me the words to speak. 01:35.003 --> 01:42.398 [SPEAKER_00]: And I hope that today's episode just it encourages you, but I hope maybe there's a word there because I think we can all speak into. 01:42.378 --> 01:43.400 [SPEAKER_00]: Somebody else. 01:43.460 --> 01:57.990 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not that I'm in a position that I have a better right to speak into somebody like you You can speak into other people too and often times it's just the little things that we say that someone's like, oh, maybe just slightly convicted or oh, you're right 01:57.970 --> 02:13.768 [SPEAKER_00]: And so my goal is that if there are areas that you are feeling like, okay, I am being a roadblock to my homeschool children's faith that maybe just a little something here will just be what you need to make that change just surrender that part of your life to God more fully. 02:13.748 --> 02:23.601 [SPEAKER_00]: So today, let's get into this episode all about how we really need to be thinking about it and be focused on the fact that we don't want to be a roadblock to our homeschoolers faith. 02:23.862 --> 02:27.427 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, we're going to balance that with the fact that we're not going to be 100% perfect. 02:27.887 --> 02:32.854 [SPEAKER_00]: But I think that we can be always a little bit more intentional than we have been. 02:34.792 --> 02:36.895 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Little By Little Home School Podcast. 02:37.115 --> 02:38.937 [SPEAKER_00]: I am your host, Lee Nguyen. 02:39.598 --> 02:46.247 [SPEAKER_00]: A homeschool mom that it was definitely not 100% perfect or even close to it. 02:46.908 --> 02:49.592 [SPEAKER_00]: I have struggled with my own things through homeschooling. 02:49.612 --> 02:54.538 [SPEAKER_00]: I have grown so much through this process of homeschooling my three children. 02:54.518 --> 02:57.902 [SPEAKER_00]: We are really close to the end, and it's very, very bitter sweet. 02:58.502 --> 03:08.573 [SPEAKER_00]: My youngest and I have just been having a good home school year, we've just been doing a lot of different things and a lot of electives, and it's been really good and a really great bonding experience. 03:08.593 --> 03:12.176 [SPEAKER_00]: As we prepare to launch them out and what his next steps are. 03:12.497 --> 03:22.207 [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm glad that you are here, no matter where you are in your home school journey, I think there's always something that we can learn and we can grow in, and I am just blessed that you have joined me here today. 03:22.267 --> 03:24.289 [SPEAKER_00]: So let's get into today's episode. 03:25.822 --> 03:35.718 [SPEAKER_00]: we know on an informational level that each of us, each person, each image bearer of God has our own faith journey. 03:36.219 --> 03:38.963 [SPEAKER_00]: But sometimes it's hard to see that when our children are young. 03:39.324 --> 03:46.395 [SPEAKER_00]: If you have even just some that are young or especially if all of your children are young, I didn't necessarily think about this. 03:46.375 --> 04:01.801 [SPEAKER_00]: We read Bible stories, we sang Bible verse songs, and we went to church, and we would talk about the Bible, and our faith, and talk about God, and just little things being out in nature, and just bringing up the conversation. 04:01.921 --> 04:06.949 [SPEAKER_00]: Isn't this what a beautiful world that God has created, and pointing out the different things. 04:06.929 --> 04:20.164 [SPEAKER_00]: But I didn't quite see that when they were all young when it was just like this little mob of three following me around and needing a lot of things that they are going to each have their own journey of faith. 04:20.965 --> 04:29.815 [SPEAKER_00]: And as they got to be older, I started to see that kind of come out and the struggles in the sanctification that was going on in each one of them. 04:29.795 --> 04:37.767 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, wow, I gotta, I gotta get myself together here a little bit because I don't want to be a roadblock to their faith. 04:37.787 --> 04:39.469 [SPEAKER_00]: So what do I mean by a roadblock? 04:40.130 --> 04:45.518 [SPEAKER_00]: Some of us, maybe, maybe some of you that you're listening, but there are many of us. 04:45.879 --> 04:48.883 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not necessarily saying myself, I'm saying us. 04:48.863 --> 05:05.303 [SPEAKER_00]: there are homeschoolers, there are adults that we have grown up in homes that maybe were overtly not centered on the Christian faith that were maybe even anti-it or in Christian homes that maybe lean towards more legalism and 05:06.093 --> 05:26.785 [SPEAKER_00]: No matter what your upbringing was, there could have been some roadblocks that maybe were presented to your faith that there were just stumbling blocks or hurdles that you had to come over that if they weren't there, so there's this balance because those things will help grow in deep in our faith. 05:27.187 --> 05:31.218 [SPEAKER_00]: But then sometimes I think, oh, if that hurdle that roadblock and been there, how much further will I be? 05:31.298 --> 05:33.645 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's kind of a catch 22 sort of thing. 05:33.705 --> 05:41.145 [SPEAKER_00]: And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose. 05:41.429 --> 05:49.042 [SPEAKER_00]: But we shouldn't allow roadblocks to continue to for our robots for our kids to continue to be in our life. 05:50.244 --> 05:59.539 [SPEAKER_00]: When we intentionally know that there are areas that we have to work on and we are not surrendering them to God and his plan and his sanctification through that. 05:59.519 --> 06:01.282 [SPEAKER_00]: Then that is what a rope block is. 06:01.442 --> 06:05.849 [SPEAKER_00]: And when our kids are really young, they just are Paratists to us. 06:05.889 --> 06:07.412 [SPEAKER_00]: You're they just kind of repeat back to us. 06:07.792 --> 06:08.574 [SPEAKER_00]: You say the verses. 06:08.594 --> 06:23.738 [SPEAKER_00]: You can do cataclysm with them You can sing fun Bible songs and they will just parrot that back to back to you because that is their world You are their world and you are presenting this information and you're making it fun and I just loved all the 06:23.718 --> 06:42.402 [SPEAKER_00]: the Bible story books that we would read and the songs and the vegetables and all, you know, the fun things that kind of go along with it that really capture a child's mind and helps enter remember and I mean, I still remember songs from my childhood that I sang in Sunday School and in Church and 06:42.668 --> 06:47.416 [SPEAKER_00]: that maybe learn from, let's see, I grew up during the time of fear as old as me with salty. 06:47.696 --> 06:49.740 [SPEAKER_00]: It was spelled PSALTY. 06:49.780 --> 06:52.865 [SPEAKER_00]: He was like a himnal guy with legs. 06:53.886 --> 06:54.307 [SPEAKER_00]: We had it. 06:54.487 --> 06:55.729 [SPEAKER_00]: We had a cassette tape. 06:55.749 --> 06:57.893 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you're closer to my age, you might remember salty. 06:58.314 --> 07:01.098 [SPEAKER_00]: But our kids will just pair it back to us. 07:01.779 --> 07:04.504 [SPEAKER_00]: What we are telling them and and and showing them. 07:04.964 --> 07:05.385 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's 07:06.361 --> 07:11.308 [SPEAKER_00]: easier at that time to hide our sins to a degree. 07:11.348 --> 07:14.673 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, there are exceptions that become very obvious. 07:14.693 --> 07:25.829 [SPEAKER_00]: If you're struggling with anger, if you're struggling with impatience and homeschooling and having our kids with us 24, 7, really can bring that out and that's something that we need to surrender to God. 07:25.889 --> 07:29.074 [SPEAKER_00]: So those things will see that. 07:29.595 --> 07:34.562 [SPEAKER_00]: And we should then work through those, apologize to our kids for maybe an angry outburst, 07:34.542 --> 07:51.505 [SPEAKER_00]: apologize to them for our impatience and hope they begin to watch and see us grow and how we become more patient and how our angry outbursts are to go away and hopefully end and the yelling and screaming is not a part of our lives anymore. 07:52.565 --> 07:59.303 [SPEAKER_00]: But there are bigger sins and struggles maybe from your past that can be concealed when they are younger. 07:59.744 --> 08:06.321 [SPEAKER_00]: But as they grow in wisdom and stature and awareness and maturity of the world, those things, 08:06.706 --> 08:12.773 [SPEAKER_00]: can become a little bit more obvious, and they can see, and we don't want to be a hypocrite, that's a huge thing. 08:13.514 --> 08:25.968 [SPEAKER_00]: A very huge roadblock to a child's faith is when they see you maybe at Koa, they see you at church, they see you with your other Christian friends, or maybe even just out and about grocery shopping and running errands with them. 08:26.328 --> 08:31.514 [SPEAKER_00]: And you are kind and everything, but behind closed doors, you are not kind, you're impatient. 08:31.995 --> 08:35.599 [SPEAKER_00]: This can go on a huge macro level or a micro level, 08:35.579 --> 08:40.666 [SPEAKER_00]: but our kids have a front row seat to us 24, 7, sometimes, right? 08:42.068 --> 08:44.611 [SPEAKER_00]: And they can see and sense hypocrites. 08:44.771 --> 08:46.734 [SPEAKER_00]: And when they're young, they don't quite understand that. 08:46.754 --> 08:49.898 [SPEAKER_00]: And as they get start to get older, they start to realize that. 08:50.038 --> 09:00.152 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you have older kids, and you feel like maybe you were a hypocrite when you were younger, and they're starting to kind of recognize what a hypocrite is, acknowledge that to them, tell them. 09:00.132 --> 09:10.544 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm assuming that you've confessed it to the Lord and we know that he will forgive you and that you have been working through or have worked through that, but talk to them and as they get older, they're going to notice things. 09:10.744 --> 09:15.149 [SPEAKER_00]: And so again, hypocritical behavior is a huge roadblock. 09:15.169 --> 09:27.844 [SPEAKER_00]: And so one of kind of I have a three kind of main points that I kind of want to talk through here with you about how we don't want to be the roadblock to our homeschoolers. 09:27.824 --> 09:34.593 [SPEAKER_00]: When it comes to anything, any issue or any topic, just having awareness of it is the first step. 09:34.914 --> 09:37.157 [SPEAKER_00]: You're like, okay, I need to be aware of this. 09:37.698 --> 09:50.035 [SPEAKER_00]: My kids are a front row seat to watching me grow up and watching me walk through sanctification and watching me be an adult in the world, being an adult Christian mom in the world. 09:50.015 --> 09:59.947 [SPEAKER_00]: And so we know that salvation is by Jesus' work alone and the grace that is given to you when you accept His work alone. 10:00.688 --> 10:05.874 [SPEAKER_00]: However, we are called to in we get to work out our faith. 10:06.355 --> 10:08.818 [SPEAKER_00]: There should be fruit in your life. 10:09.458 --> 10:14.204 [SPEAKER_00]: No, you aren't ever going to be perfect, but sanctification should be evident. 10:14.424 --> 10:15.786 [SPEAKER_00]: Even if that sanctification 10:15.766 --> 10:17.629 [SPEAKER_00]: is very slow. 10:18.089 --> 10:19.531 [SPEAKER_00]: It's think of just like a snail. 10:19.731 --> 10:20.733 [SPEAKER_00]: It's moving very slow. 10:20.853 --> 10:22.896 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes sanctification moves very slow. 10:23.216 --> 10:29.605 [SPEAKER_00]: Can take years maybe for a certain area of growth even become evident to anybody around us. 10:30.466 --> 10:34.011 [SPEAKER_00]: But then in other times where there's huge leaps and I think that 10:35.425 --> 10:42.556 [SPEAKER_00]: When we look back, we should see that we might not necessarily recognize it at the time, but when we look back, we should be able to see that. 10:42.877 --> 10:58.902 [SPEAKER_00]: So for myself, just the anger and the impatience when I look back, I should look in the mirror and see the same person that I was five years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years ago, and we started homeschooling in a couple of years into that, and I was just 10:58.882 --> 11:01.349 [SPEAKER_00]: Not not a kind mom. 11:01.710 --> 11:03.936 [SPEAKER_00]: We'll say that and I can see now. 11:03.976 --> 11:13.482 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just I much more laid back Maybe it's just maturity and wisdom and relaxed about things and I major on the majors and minor on the minors and 11:14.356 --> 11:15.498 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, there should be a difference. 11:15.918 --> 11:17.601 [SPEAKER_00]: You should notice a difference. 11:17.661 --> 11:20.105 [SPEAKER_00]: And those around you, hopefully, will notice a difference as well. 11:20.385 --> 11:24.131 [SPEAKER_00]: So let me reiterate, your salvation is by the work of Jesus only. 11:24.472 --> 11:24.752 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay? 11:25.333 --> 11:28.358 [SPEAKER_00]: So there is nothing that you have to do for that. 11:29.199 --> 11:32.805 [SPEAKER_00]: But you are called to work out your faith. 11:33.205 --> 11:34.487 [SPEAKER_00]: You get to do this. 11:34.928 --> 11:37.112 [SPEAKER_00]: You get to grow in sanctification. 11:37.172 --> 11:38.434 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's not always pleasant. 11:38.874 --> 11:42.540 [SPEAKER_00]: Often those hard seasons, those seasons that 11:42.520 --> 11:49.090 [SPEAKER_00]: There's just one thing after another, are the ones where when you look back, you'll see the greatest sanctification but at the time, it hurt. 11:49.911 --> 11:56.942 [SPEAKER_00]: It was not pleasant at all, but there should be evidence of that growth in your life. 11:57.603 --> 12:03.853 [SPEAKER_00]: There's been times where I felt very convicted about a certain character trait within myself or a certain attitude. 12:03.833 --> 12:12.866 [SPEAKER_00]: or a certain behavior, and I just allowed that, I just been like, okay, I think it's the whole experience speaking to me, and I'm just becoming aware of that. 12:12.966 --> 12:18.414 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, let me surrender this and continue to work at that. 12:18.514 --> 12:33.655 [SPEAKER_00]: I think often times, so say it's something for me, and I think for a lot of women, we can use our words very often and as a way of hurting others, as a weapon, and so I be like, okay, Lord, 12:33.635 --> 12:49.633 [SPEAKER_00]: Please help me and I will find that I will maybe get the whole sentence out that next time and then I felt convicted and I kind of like So shut down, but I will just notice over a period of time that I will say less and less that is used as a weapon. 12:49.873 --> 13:03.388 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's an example of just kind of growing in identification being being aware, being convicted, surrendering that to God and then working that out working that through. 13:03.368 --> 13:04.390 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing so much better. 13:04.451 --> 13:05.092 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm all done. 13:05.152 --> 13:05.413 [SPEAKER_00]: Check. 13:05.433 --> 13:06.415 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's move on to the next thing. 13:06.455 --> 13:16.880 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, it's an area of growth often for many of us moms, many of us wives that we continue with through our whole lives because I mean, there's there's power. 13:17.100 --> 13:19.205 [SPEAKER_00]: There's, you know, death and life in the tongue. 13:20.107 --> 13:21.310 [SPEAKER_00]: But let's go back to our kids. 13:22.353 --> 13:33.150 [SPEAKER_00]: We don't want to be a roadblock, and I think, again, being aware of that, being aware that you can be a roadblock is the first step to be able to make some changes and to be intentional. 13:33.511 --> 13:43.467 [SPEAKER_00]: So in easy, I'm kind of saying easy, way of not being a roadblock is including this study of God's Word and your faith into your homeschool. 13:43.847 --> 13:44.588 [SPEAKER_00]: Your kids are home. 13:44.869 --> 13:46.131 [SPEAKER_00]: You have a captive audience. 13:46.271 --> 13:49.997 [SPEAKER_00]: You get to choose the schedule, the routine. 13:49.977 --> 14:00.490 [SPEAKER_00]: of the day you get to choose where your focus is going to be, you get to choose what you're going to be intentional about and how to spend the time that you have with them every day. 14:01.191 --> 14:02.553 [SPEAKER_00]: Is Bible a part of that time? 14:02.893 --> 14:14.388 [SPEAKER_00]: No matter what that looks like, whether it is sitting and reading a passage of the Bible and talking about it or it is spending hours going deep into theology and this also obviously depends upon the age of your kids. 14:14.768 --> 14:17.672 [SPEAKER_00]: I did do an episode about 14:17.652 --> 14:24.451 [SPEAKER_00]: how to include the Bible and I'm going to remind that down right now to link that into the episode for you. 14:25.233 --> 14:27.258 [SPEAKER_00]: And I suggest that you listen to that one. 14:27.279 --> 14:28.502 [SPEAKER_00]: If you're like, how do I include the Bible? 14:28.522 --> 14:30.367 [SPEAKER_00]: How do I get that into our homeschool? 14:30.868 --> 14:33.636 [SPEAKER_00]: That is a very obvious way to 14:33.616 --> 15:03.623 [SPEAKER_00]: not to be a Robloch and to during that time to be honest and to show your kids that you're still learning as you're studying a passage and they say well what does that mean and you stop saying you know what I'm not really quite sure let's look that out maybe you have a systematic theology book and you pull it out and then you look through that or you get out good old Google or chat GBT and you do a little bit of research and maybe come to a couple of possibilities of what that passage might mean or that word might mean you get to the root word of it and just showing them 15:03.603 --> 15:05.728 [SPEAKER_00]: You are still teachable. 15:06.008 --> 15:09.456 [SPEAKER_00]: That is a great way to not be a roadblock to your homeschool or faith. 15:10.438 --> 15:19.359 [SPEAKER_00]: So overall with the roadblocks, I just really want to emphasize that let's not give our kids hurdles in roadblocks that they have to work through if at all possible. 15:20.742 --> 15:22.185 [SPEAKER_00]: You can't control everything. 15:22.958 --> 15:29.705 [SPEAKER_00]: but sometimes we need to make the hard decisions to keep them from situations that are not in line with your faith. 15:30.226 --> 15:37.874 [SPEAKER_00]: We've talked multiple times here on the podcast about how we are each going to feel convicted differently about different topics. 15:37.914 --> 15:51.109 [SPEAKER_00]: So one pretty obvious one that I became very obvious to me with my kids and my friends and their kids was TV shows and movies and music and books that we would allow our kids 15:51.089 --> 16:04.833 [SPEAKER_00]: to take part in or not to take part in and sometimes it is making those hard decisions just because everybody else is reading a popular book series and you just feel in your heart that it just doesn't line. 16:04.853 --> 16:16.793 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not in line with your goals for your homeschool and just something this doesn't feel right or off or you might say, you know it, I feel very strongly against 16:16.773 --> 16:19.696 [SPEAKER_00]: we are not meant to make others feel guilty. 16:19.876 --> 16:34.969 [SPEAKER_00]: We are not meant to walk around and start thumping them on the head saying, how dare you thou shalt not let your kid read this series, but through our decisions, our hard decisions, those other friends might hear that and it might kind of, you know, say, hmm, I wonder why that is. 16:35.009 --> 16:37.311 [SPEAKER_00]: They might ask you, they might do a little bit of research. 16:37.331 --> 16:43.157 [SPEAKER_00]: Might change their mind, might not change their mind, but you have to make those hard decisions, but then stick with them. 16:43.737 --> 16:45.919 [SPEAKER_00]: Same things with things like phones. 16:46.372 --> 16:58.067 [SPEAKER_00]: phones and easy access to everything on the internet, social media, pornography, talking and chatting with strangers on the internet, I mean, the list can go on and on and on. 16:58.848 --> 17:09.141 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, an easy thing is just not to give your 10-year-old full access to the entire internet and to all kinds of millions of strangers that are on their indifferent thoughts and world views. 17:09.682 --> 17:16.210 [SPEAKER_00]: That's a hard decision, especially if everybody else, all the other 10-year-olds have phones, but yours does not. 17:17.337 --> 17:37.118 [SPEAKER_00]: We cannot control everything that's going to happen that we are to protect them, obviously, yes, as they get older, they get involved into maybe sports or jobs and they get into environments that we aren't able to control what their influences, what they see and what they take part in. 17:37.604 --> 17:43.313 [SPEAKER_00]: but hopefully you've done that ground, work that framework there before that, to help them work through all of that. 17:44.034 --> 17:53.929 [SPEAKER_00]: So we can't keep them from every single thing, but when you still have that influence over them, yes, make those hard decisions that are not in line with your faith. 17:55.271 --> 18:01.401 [SPEAKER_00]: Another way to not be a hurdle and not to be a roadblock is to be active in your own faith. 18:02.900 --> 18:04.482 [SPEAKER_00]: read the Bible with them. 18:05.122 --> 18:09.346 [SPEAKER_00]: Talk to them also about maybe your own private Bible reading time. 18:09.386 --> 18:12.990 [SPEAKER_00]: Your own time of reading devotions, or maybe they see you. 18:13.010 --> 18:23.801 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you have kids, you know, you like to get up early and read your Bible early in the morning before you guys up, but there's always that one kid who doesn't quite want to sleep in and comes down and sees you and cuddles up next to you on the couch. 18:24.381 --> 18:30.207 [SPEAKER_00]: What a beautiful image that that child will have 18:30.777 --> 18:35.569 [SPEAKER_00]: But be active in your faith overall, not just the doing of things, not just, well, I volunteer for this. 18:35.770 --> 18:36.953 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I run this ministry. 18:36.973 --> 18:41.024 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I do this, but like your faith, your faith journey. 18:41.184 --> 18:45.816 [SPEAKER_00]: And this is something that will grow with them as they get older. 18:46.302 --> 18:56.722 [SPEAKER_00]: Another way that we can show them our faith and to avoid being a Robloch to their faith is to apologize to them when we make mistakes. 18:57.824 --> 19:07.703 [SPEAKER_00]: I believe that there is nothing more humbling than an adult apologizing to a child and more so apparent apologizing to their own child. 19:07.683 --> 19:10.991 [SPEAKER_00]: I am so sorry that I yelled. 19:11.492 --> 19:13.978 [SPEAKER_00]: That was not appropriate for Mommy to do. 19:14.018 --> 19:23.059 [SPEAKER_00]: God is not pleased with that, and I have repented to him of that, and I want to apologize to you. 19:23.039 --> 19:34.160 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, and you can go on or you can just keep it as short and simple as you need it to be, but this is something that we should do when our children are young, maybe two years old, maybe before that they have no idea even what you're saying. 19:34.240 --> 19:36.624 [SPEAKER_00]: It's the act of asking for forgiveness. 19:36.644 --> 19:38.608 [SPEAKER_00]: That actually changes our hearts a lot. 19:39.169 --> 19:45.621 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that it also for me, at least, is like, well, I don't necessarily want to have to do that very often. 19:45.601 --> 19:49.087 [SPEAKER_00]: So, I'm going to work at not. 19:49.488 --> 19:53.916 [SPEAKER_00]: What do I need to do in order not to overreact or to yell about something? 19:53.956 --> 19:57.782 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I need to walk outside, step outside, take a couple of deep breaths of fresh air. 19:58.143 --> 19:59.525 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I just need to go into my room. 19:59.586 --> 20:01.990 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I just need to just, what is it? 20:02.010 --> 20:03.272 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, that's often a 20:03.252 --> 20:24.214 [SPEAKER_00]: a good solution for a mom to do as long as everybody is safe within that room, walking into another room or just stepping outside and just taking a deep breath, still coming back in and you can still apologize, I'm sorry, I almost lost it there with you guys, you don't deserve that type of reaction, recognizing them as as people and respecting them and their 20:24.194 --> 20:34.002 [SPEAKER_00]: Their emotions and their hurt feelings for the way that you would treat them by yelling and screaming because that's not the proper response of an adult to a child. 20:35.281 --> 20:38.404 [SPEAKER_00]: And this isn't talking about them running onto the road and yelling, don't stop, run. 20:39.025 --> 20:45.071 [SPEAKER_00]: It's the yelling about not getting the math work done, or just their bad attitude, that kind of stuff. 20:45.091 --> 20:46.372 [SPEAKER_00]: There's other ways of dealing with those. 20:46.452 --> 20:48.474 [SPEAKER_00]: But how apologize to them when you make mistakes? 20:48.634 --> 20:51.477 [SPEAKER_00]: And be a real person with them. 20:51.918 --> 20:58.985 [SPEAKER_00]: But there's always that balance of being the authority figure with them, and allowing them just to see, OK, mom's just a real person. 20:59.405 --> 21:01.187 [SPEAKER_00]: Think about the times it may be. 21:01.167 --> 21:25.943 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you stub your toe and you set ten to start crying because it hurts so bad or there's maybe been a death in the family or just something that just has made you sad and they see you just crying starts they start to see like okay they're real person and they're still mom is still working out her faith as well and when you feel convicted about things and as I get older you can talk to them about those but just be a real person with them but also balance that with being in a 30 figure. 21:25.923 --> 21:32.051 [SPEAKER_00]: Now I know that some of you may have come from a hard background and you have decided you want to break the cycle. 21:32.312 --> 21:34.935 [SPEAKER_00]: I absolutely love that for you. 21:34.955 --> 21:41.884 [SPEAKER_00]: I spoken to many moms throughout the years who did not grow up in a home environment that they want to repeat. 21:42.165 --> 21:46.210 [SPEAKER_00]: And that actually starts to bring tears to my eyes because I think it's beautiful. 21:46.190 --> 21:50.116 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, it's that first, it's that recognition of like I don't want to repeat that cycle. 21:50.596 --> 21:51.978 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to be the one to break it. 21:52.379 --> 21:55.723 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to the one be the one that brings Jesus into our home. 21:55.964 --> 22:05.077 [SPEAKER_00]: And that is just the cornerstone and the center of our lives and why we do the things that we do and why we don't do the things that we don't do. 22:05.898 --> 22:13.108 [SPEAKER_00]: Just know that you are taking that first step towards making those changes is by saying I want to break the cycle. 22:13.358 --> 22:18.145 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not always going to be a linear path and it's not always going to be a fast linear path. 22:18.486 --> 22:19.708 [SPEAKER_00]: There might be some steps backward. 22:20.108 --> 22:20.789 [SPEAKER_00]: It might be slow. 22:20.910 --> 22:22.312 [SPEAKER_00]: It might be fast at some points. 22:22.712 --> 22:27.520 [SPEAKER_00]: But rejoice in the fact that you have made this decision to make that change. 22:27.600 --> 22:29.663 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just love that so much. 22:29.643 --> 22:38.444 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, as your children do get older, you can start to become maybe a little bit more honest with them and open possibly about maybe your hard background. 22:38.945 --> 22:46.082 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, consider your child's age, consider their maturity, consider maybe the wisdom that they have and 22:46.062 --> 23:05.324 [SPEAKER_00]: We don't want to necessarily so for example, maybe it was your upbringing with your mother and you just have stories and and they know they know your mother They have a little bit of a relationship and and so we don't want to destroy that relationship and in their eyes Allow them to see now I'm just using just a mom. 23:05.364 --> 23:07.126 [SPEAKER_00]: This is completely I'm making this up. 23:07.146 --> 23:15.175 [SPEAKER_00]: This could apply for any type of relationship that maybe you've had in your upbringing and we don't necessarily want them to see her as 23:15.155 --> 23:16.498 [SPEAKER_00]: an evil person. 23:16.518 --> 23:25.096 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to assume that she is safe for them to be with or maybe you only allow them to be with your mom if you or your husband are there, whatever the situation is. 23:25.156 --> 23:32.472 [SPEAKER_00]: As they get older, the thing is that our kids grow and increase in wisdom and maturity, they start to see people. 23:32.452 --> 23:33.554 [SPEAKER_00]: as they really are. 23:33.574 --> 23:36.160 [SPEAKER_00]: And so think about you, you didn't quite understand. 23:36.200 --> 23:42.553 [SPEAKER_00]: I even think about post college and just how immature I was and how I just didn't quite understand people and their lives. 23:42.613 --> 23:48.245 [SPEAKER_00]: And now I look back and like, oh, I kind of understand them a little bit more now that I have a more awareness. 23:48.385 --> 23:52.654 [SPEAKER_00]: And I truly believe that our home school kids because they are with us and we are 23:52.634 --> 24:06.255 [SPEAKER_00]: Walking them through life and showing them life and explaining things so much them all through all the ages all the way up through high school that they start to become a little bit aware of people a little bit earlier so we don't unnecessarily 24:07.484 --> 24:24.953 [SPEAKER_00]: throw a relationship that they could have with that person completely out because of stories, but as they get older, you can kind of share a little bit more from maybe your childhood, your teen years, your young adult years, and this will allow them to give you some grace as you try and do better for your very own family. 24:24.933 --> 24:31.404 [SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like I'm just scratching the surface at this, but hopefully maybe there's been a nugget or two that has been encouragement to you. 24:31.584 --> 24:33.087 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to keep you here all day. 24:33.107 --> 24:34.830 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you want to close at this episode? 24:34.850 --> 24:36.192 [SPEAKER_00]: Because I know you got things to do. 24:36.893 --> 24:48.472 [SPEAKER_00]: But hopefully there's just something there that will spur you on and just overall just to be aware of the fact of there's hurdles and there's roadblocks and we're not gonna be perfect. 24:48.493 --> 24:49.995 [SPEAKER_00]: There's gonna be some that we don't, 24:49.975 --> 25:07.041 [SPEAKER_00]: intent to put out for our kids and they will work through that and that will make them hopefully a stronger Christian and work them through with their sanctification, but if all possible, try not to put those hurdles out, try not to put those roadblocks out, try not to do the things that they're going to have to maybe work through. 25:07.141 --> 25:16.455 [SPEAKER_00]: While my mom was always screaming at me, well, make that change, make today the time, the day that you say, you know what I'm putting a 25:17.684 --> 25:19.468 [SPEAKER_00]: And this can go for a lot of different things. 25:19.508 --> 25:23.556 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just pray that this episode has blessed you and given you a bit of encouragement. 25:24.598 --> 25:29.990 [SPEAKER_00]: If you are new here to the podcast or you have not done so and you have not left to review, I would love for you to do that. 25:30.150 --> 25:33.216 [SPEAKER_00]: It really helps this podcast reach more homeschool parents. 25:33.236 --> 25:34.579 [SPEAKER_00]: I know at this time of the year. 25:34.559 --> 25:43.674 [SPEAKER_00]: There are moms out there who are thinking about this being the final year of their kids in the public school or a private school situation and they're thinking about homeschooling next year. 25:44.015 --> 25:51.387 [SPEAKER_00]: If when you leave a rating and review, it kind of pushes the podcast out to those other moms that might be kind of dabbling and looking at a couple of homeschool stuff. 25:51.367 --> 25:55.540 [SPEAKER_00]: So it also helps me, helps me to gauge what you are enjoying here on the episodes. 25:55.560 --> 26:03.705 [SPEAKER_00]: So go ahead and on your podcast app, leave a rating that would be a star hopefully five and a review a sentence or two about what you enjoy about the podcast. 26:04.006 --> 26:05.410 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for being here with me today.