[SPEAKER_00]: Hey friends, and welcome to a very special, best-of-series here on the Christian Parenting podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: Over the next several weeks, we're going to revisit some of the conversations that have meant the most to our community.
[SPEAKER_00]: The ones that have helped us think more deeply, love our kids more intentionally and root our family is more firmly in Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: So throughout the series, we're going to get really practical about what it means to disciple your kids in everyday moments, investing in their faith at home, letting God's character shape your parenting, building emotional health and strong boundaries, informing character and challenging culture.
[SPEAKER_00]: So whether you're brand new to the podcast or if you've been with us for years, we believe these conversations are worth hearing or hearing again, because parenting with faith, wisdom, and courage is a lifelong calling and none of us are meant to do it alone.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we're so grateful you're here, let's dive into today's best of episode.
[SPEAKER_00]: Discipling our kids doesn't have to be intimidating with Sarah Holmes' drum.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey everyone, I...
[SPEAKER_00]: cannot wait for you to listen to this episode.
[SPEAKER_00]: We are starting a series on Discipling Your Kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: That is teaching your kids to know love and follow Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot that goes into teaching kids about faith.
[SPEAKER_00]: So over the next few weeks, we're going to cover things like prayer, Holy Spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: Different ages and even what happens when you do all the things we feel like we're supposed to do as Christian parents and your adult kids decide not to walk with the Lord.
[SPEAKER_00]: We cover all of it.
[SPEAKER_00]: To go along with this series, we created a digital resource called Cypalship Simplified.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a digital guide that has the best of the best resources Christian parenting has to offer on-to-cycling kits in one place.
[SPEAKER_00]: There are articles, podcasts, videos, we have it all, and we cover topics like prayer, worship, theology, scripture, and more.
[SPEAKER_00]: To kick off the series, I'm sitting down with my dear friend, Sarah Holmes' drum.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sarah and I started a ministry called Raising Prayerful Kids six years ago.
[SPEAKER_00]: We published a book called Raising Perfected and is actually through that ministry that I was connected with Christian parenting.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sarah and her family are so near and dear to my heart.
[SPEAKER_00]: You will adore everything she has to share about the challenges of discipling kids, how all of our kids are different, so discipling and parenting looks different with each one, why prayer matters and how we can pray with and for our kids from toddlers to young adults.
[SPEAKER_00]: I hope that you love Sarah as much as I do.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hi, Sarah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you, Steph.
[SPEAKER_01]: I am so excited and so honored to be with you today.
[SPEAKER_00]: I, we've been wanting to do an interview together for really long time.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm really glad that you're finally here for those of you who don't know Sarah and I have worked together for a really long time.
[SPEAKER_00]: We co-founded our ministry, raising purple kids what like six years ago.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's crazy for a long time.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, it's been a year.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so we have been ministering to parents, talking about prayer for years and years together.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's what we get to talk about today as we kick off our series on discipling kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: And obviously, you were like my first choice if somebody had to go talk to.
[SPEAKER_00]: So thank you.
[SPEAKER_01]: all thank you staff and for anybody who doesn't know staff you.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love your podcast, but even more I just love your heart and you really changed my whole life.
[SPEAKER_01]: We both know I would not have been talking about this stuff or even doing this stuff as often with my kids or writing this book without you.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm so excited to talk about it with you today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks, Sarah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, tell us about your kids because I always like to start out talking about families because this is a parenting podcast So tell us about your family and then can you describe your family and that one word or phrase?
[SPEAKER_01]: Love it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so I am married to Eric and he's a pastor at Purpose Church in Pomona.
[SPEAKER_01]: We've got four kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: Charlie is 11.
[SPEAKER_01]: Friendly is nine.
[SPEAKER_01]: Lila is seven and Levi is five.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's easier for me now that they're all odd numbers to say it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we are one of those crazy families that we started home schooling during the pandemic and we were like, this is kind of fun.
[SPEAKER_01]: And this is a little bit less stressful, which sounds weird, but for us, it just kind of works.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we're still homeschooling, kind of taking it year by year, but so far it's working.
[SPEAKER_01]: Some days it's working, you know, some days are louder than others.
[SPEAKER_01]: And okay, to pick a word, the first word that popped into my head, but it's not the real word, is loud.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh, Sarah, I was gonna say that that's the word I picked for your family.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I know, that's why.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we went and we all got to stay at the third-lead house one time,
[SPEAKER_01]: I loved every minute, but you guys are really loud.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not in a bad way, your voices are just louder than my kids' voices.
[SPEAKER_00]: One point I told her, I was like, when we're driving in the car, when Calvin, my oldest is in the back.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's trying to talk to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: But Calvin, talk louder.
[SPEAKER_00]: Talk louder.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then when your kids are in the back, I'm like, wow, I can hear you.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know.
[SPEAKER_01]: So in that same vein, I would probably pick passionate.
[SPEAKER_01]: I would say, like we're all a little bit spicy.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like we have these passions and we'll talk your ear off and we're a little loud, but um, for better or for worse, like we can be really hot and really encouraging and then, you know, we'll spicy a little.
[SPEAKER_01]: cold.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, I mean, I would say mostly it's a wonderful God-given thing to be passionate, but it does have its challenges with like a house full of stubborn, passionate, fiery people.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, that would be my word for us.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the good one, too.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's good.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's really funny.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was going to tell you that.
[SPEAKER_00]: I should take love, please.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and then I always, you have to answer my other question.
[SPEAKER_00]: I always start out with which is what is the one thing you want every parent to know I love that question.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, if I could only pick one thing and I don't will talk more about prayer as we go, but I would just want every parent to remember you are not doing it alone and I struggled for so many years thinking that I had to do it alone or had to
[SPEAKER_01]: you know out of my own strength do everything well and I've seen so many parents struggle with that and I think that is just completely the enemy's idea because if you can get us to think when our kids are doing well let's give ourselves a pat on the back and when they're not it's something that we haven't done right or something that we could do better or and it's just so normal in our culture like you're supposed to worry about your kids you're supposed to
[SPEAKER_01]: the ways that you failed them.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, that's pretty normalized in our culture, and it's something I think we all do.
[SPEAKER_01]: But when we do that, we're parenting out of fear.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I, I still struggle with that, and I struggled a lot more in the earlier years.
[SPEAKER_01]: But when we parent out of fear, we're really modeling just a lack of joy in our walk with God and,
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just sort of this joyless place and this fearful place and it's just not as fun.
[SPEAKER_01]: So when we remember that we're not doing it alone when we cry out to God and just ask him for help every single day, it just takes that pressure off.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I just want every parent to know you're not alone.
[SPEAKER_01]: Reach out to the people around you and just talk with God all day long because
[SPEAKER_01]: We need him.
[SPEAKER_01]: I used to think I was going to be a pretty good mom before I had kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe most of us feel that way and now I'm like, oh my goodness, every new stage of their end, like I need you even more Jesus.
[SPEAKER_01]: I need you every five minutes.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's what I would say to parents is you're not alone.
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't try to do it alone even for a second.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I feel like every time your kids move into a new stage, you have to learn them again.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just figured you out.
[SPEAKER_00]: And now I have to figure it out again.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's when you really can't do it alone.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're always changing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: OK.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you're kicking us off for our discipleship series.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're the first guest.
[SPEAKER_00]: So let's talk first.
[SPEAKER_00]: about what discipleship is.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I feel like maybe people here that word and they're like, I don't really actually know what you're talking about.
[SPEAKER_00]: So what does it, what do we time out when we say that?
[SPEAKER_01]: That's such a good question, Seth.
[SPEAKER_01]: I would say that is our number one job as parents.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you're right, we don't really talk about that a lot.
[SPEAKER_01]: We talk about all the things that we need to do for our kids so that they're
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, rounded and healthy food and get enough sleep and all that all that good stuff It's important, but our highest calling as parents is to teach our kids to love Jesus And the I think the best way we can do that and you and I really found this and our prayer research But it's to model that so
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, we sometimes put all this pressure like we need to have this perfect devotional or these prayer times throughout the day and those things are are good and the Lord will lead you but really your own walk with Jesus so waking up in the morning or whatever it is for you and spending time with him.
[SPEAKER_01]: Our kids are seeing that they're watching that they're soaking it up and it's really fun.
[SPEAKER_01]: having older kids because I see them kind of doing some of those things now, you know, just remembering on their own to pray for somebody, you know, the other day we were just driving and the kids heard the ambulance and they're like, Mom, why aren't you praying?
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a their praying.
[SPEAKER_01]: So they're just watching us all the time.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that I think,
[SPEAKER_01]: takes the pressure off to remember that disciplinary kids is just really having our own bibles out in front of them and sharing what God's put on our heart and confessing to them.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like you guys, I really messed up today.
[SPEAKER_01]: I need Jesus.
[SPEAKER_01]: That was not your fault.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's mom's fault.
[SPEAKER_01]: Would you please forgive me?
[SPEAKER_01]: Them seeing us.
[SPEAKER_01]: being changed by God and even just sharing like, today I read this verse that it really convicted me, it really helped me sharing that with them is just such a simple way to disciple them, but they're watching us all the time, which I think is really, it's really relieving to know that that's the biggest part of discipling our kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I feel like so often we can think, okay, if I'm going to teach my kids about Jesus, I have to teach them.
[SPEAKER_00]: ABC, like all these things, and I have to do it in a certain way and at a certain age that have to learn these things.
[SPEAKER_00]: And there are some things you should teach your kids, absolutely.
[SPEAKER_00]: at certain ages, and you know, you'd change as you go, but I think that's such a good point that so much of it is your kids watching you be a disciple of Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like how do you follow Jesus?
[SPEAKER_00]: And I like how you say, how your life has changed or changed.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because of Jesus, because that makes it real to them.
[SPEAKER_00]: Instead of being like my parent who praise that dinner, and then that's kind of all we ever do.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they see a change.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[UNKNOWN]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then they want to emulate that because they're like, wow, look at the joy that she's getting her look at the piece or look at that thing she's struggling with but she doesn't struggle alone and then they're like, I want that rather than us teaching them and telling them all the time and then
[SPEAKER_01]: not them not seeing it the fruit in our life, you know, yeah, totally.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so here's my question now and I told you I was going to ask you this and kind of put you on this bat and you you have worked in children's ministry like your entire adult life.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not even your entire adult life.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would say like your whole life when starting as a teenager, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And then as you have always worked in kids ministry,
[SPEAKER_00]: You wrote a book on praying with your kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: Your husband's a pastor.
[SPEAKER_00]: He worked in student ministries forever.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's a teaching pastor.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like quite honestly, most people will look at your family and be like, they must be doing it all.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they know exactly how to decipher their kids well.
[SPEAKER_00]: And all the right things to say and do and is probably really like the best it can possibly be at your house.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I can affirm you're doing a great job because you're raising great kids who truly love Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: but it's hard to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I want to know from the pastor family, the ministry family, what is the hardest part for you guys about discipling your kids?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, what do you really struggle with?
[SPEAKER_01]: Hmm, stuff I love that question, because I know what you mean, I can see people say, like, oh, you're the, you're the prayer lady.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's why you wrote this book, and it just makes me laugh, and I'm sure God is laughing, because he's like, no, no, no, she wrote that book or co-wrote that book
[SPEAKER_01]: She is not the prayer lady and she needs to be the prayer lady.
[SPEAKER_01]: She.
[SPEAKER_01]: So anyway, yes, there are so many answers to that question.
[SPEAKER_01]: I would say number one, um, what makes it hard to disciple our kids for both Eric and I is busyness and, um,
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just this world and this culture and even in the church, we feel like we have to do everything.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so spending time to stop and take a moment to talk about some sort of character issue.
[SPEAKER_01]: I am constantly fighting off the lie that I don't have time for that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I am constantly ignoring my kids will be in this huge fight where this is the perfect time to stop.
[SPEAKER_01]: pray for them and maybe bring up some things they can consider.
[SPEAKER_01]: But we're already 15 minutes late and we need our shoes on and we need that and we need that.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I would say that is something of probably every day I'm like, Lord, I did it again.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so sorry.
[SPEAKER_01]: Please help me take this off the table and that is something I love about our ministry stuff is I think the biggest thing I would say to explain raising purple kids is
[SPEAKER_01]: it's just priority parenting, prioritizing, praying with your kids and for your kids, and even if you don't do anything else.
[SPEAKER_01]: So even if your kids haven't bathed in four days, or that probably sounds bad, but it's happened to us, or even if you're anxious.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_01]: That makes me feel normal and my 11 year old was like, Mom, I think my last shower was on my day.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, oh my gosh, okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: So anyway, so even when we forget to do all the other important things or they kind of fall at second place now for me, if I've prayed with my kids, I'm already like check.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's been a good day.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like this day has impacted generations.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like this, I've given you something or we've done something that will last forever and
[SPEAKER_01]: So for someone who's a recovering perfectionist that has really changed me a lot, but it's still hard.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a hard part and if you can another hard part
[SPEAKER_01]: about discipling our kids is just expectations being too high, you know, I can remember so many times where we've sat down to have this beautiful advent dinner that you wrote, um, stuff that we have printed out, or, um, I'll just say, you know, what tonight we're gonna listen to God's voice and, you know, some of them are into it and some of them are just like doing cartwheels or, you know, talking about random stuff, you know, turning it into a joke.
[SPEAKER_01]: So,
[SPEAKER_01]: So just reminding myself, okay, we're still practicing this.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's still growing in their faith and the sharing.
[SPEAKER_01]: They have amazing relationships with the Lord, but it's not done yet.
[SPEAKER_01]: Just like my relationship with his hand isn't done.
[SPEAKER_01]: So almost lowering the expectations to say, we're still going to do this even if it feels like it's not going as perfectly as I thought it would.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then my deepest answer to your question.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think another thing that's hard about discipling the kids is remembering that a lot of it is them watching me and that that can feel like a lot of pressure because I bring a lot of brokenness into parenting.
[SPEAKER_01]: I almost feel like every season I'm in, it sort of rubs up against some sort of wounds that I haven't fully surrendered to the Lord that I'm now bringing into parenting or so.
[SPEAKER_01]: telling them, you know, teaching them about Jesus and then totally messing up, like blowing up at all of them or saying something that's really shaming toward them instead of encouraging, then I'm like sitting there like, oh, no, I am the person, they're person.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's teaching them about the Lord and I am failing, but I think what helps me when I feel like that when I go to that place is just remembering that God uses that, too.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I have told the story a lot recently,
[SPEAKER_01]: we had a day where I had one of those bad mom days where this mom dragon came out and I treated everybody horribly and you know we later on I took them on a walk and I was praying for them and my daughter, brinley, she said mom can we pray for you and she's like we forgive you can we pray for you and she prayed that I would know I was the best mom ever and that just really humbled me and made me cry and she's like why are you crying and I said well because
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I just feel really loved by God right now and I feel really loved by you guys and then she, her eyes just got all big and she said, Mom, do you remember how we prayed earlier that we would show love to somebody today?
[SPEAKER_01]: We would show someone God loved them.
[SPEAKER_01]: The person was you.
[SPEAKER_01]: So God really does answer prayers and it was so humbling because I don't want him to.
[SPEAKER_01]: show up in my kid's lives for my mistakes, like I want him to show him through this ways that I'm perfect and wonderful and amazing, but he's like Lord over all of it.
[SPEAKER_01]: So even those worst moments, he, you know, that's why I love that verse, love covers over a multitude of things.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like his love even covers over my sins and my struggles and my failure.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a lot of pressure to disciple your kids, but it's so good to just continually remember that it's up to him to save them, it's up to him to work all that fruit out in their lives.
[SPEAKER_01]: And he can even use our worst most awful days.
[SPEAKER_01]: If we let him, he can even use that with our kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, he can redeem all the things.
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, even, even, even our bad moments.
[SPEAKER_00]: Even our shaming moments.
[SPEAKER_00]: Amen.
[SPEAKER_00]: He can redeem it all.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I want to focus a little bit on prayer because I think prayer is a super important part of teaching kids to follow Jesus and it's what we've always done together.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, tell, can you give everyone like a short little summary of what raising peripheral kids is and kind of like what what this adventure is that we were on together?
[SPEAKER_01]: I would love to, okay, so like you said, I guess six years ago now.
[SPEAKER_01]: Stephanie, we went to college together and our husbands, we were all in a life group together and staff worked with my husband at a church and anyway, she called me up about six years ago and said, I think we're supposed to write a book about praying with your kids, she had been talking with a lot of her friends.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so many of your friends had said, I just don't know how to do this.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how to disciple my kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so we will actually step set the funny thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: She was like, we have time in our lives.
[SPEAKER_01]: We both are done having kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I had found out that day I was having surprise, baby number four.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I thought, Seth, this is a great idea.
[SPEAKER_01]: You should do it all pray for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And she's like, no, no, just pray about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I did and I'm so thankful.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was kind of one foot in front of the other.
[SPEAKER_01]: We just started researching prayer and we started writing down the ways we were already praying with our kids, sharing it on our blog and eventually it turned into a book that got to be published and we continued to share prayer resources and prayer activities.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think the biggest thing that we do is just remind parents that their prayer doesn't have to be intimidating.
[SPEAKER_01]: It could be fun.
[SPEAKER_01]: It could be about what you're already doing.
[SPEAKER_01]: You always say, change your language.
[SPEAKER_01]: So instead of just saying, wow, it's a gorgeous day.
[SPEAKER_01]: Walk with your kids and say, wow, look at that sky that God made.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's prayer.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's teaching your kids to notice.
[SPEAKER_01]: God around you.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we share like the grateful game or how to bless your kids or how to do breath prayers to help your kids with anxiety to help them turn to the Lord or how to have a praise party in your living room We just share easy ways that don't take a lot of
[SPEAKER_01]: prep or even a seminary degree just easy ways to connect with your kids and connect with God through prayer and that when we wrote it our kids were little but we've adapted them over the years and I've even gotten to do the activities with the high schoolers at our church and so I think it really works no matter where you are on your parenting journey.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Tell us about some of the research that you've because you've done a lot of research into prayer.
[SPEAKER_00]: So tell us a little bit about what you've found there because I think it's kind of, it's interesting to me how important prayer is not just for our spiritual lives and for our relationship with the Lord, but it's like, God designed to be really good for us, which is incredible.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that so many times his commands have these physical benefits, which I think is so cool.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, the research is so exciting.
[SPEAKER_01]: some of the research that we found that in our book, some of it is a Christian research and some is secular research and basically it shows that families that pray together are more bonded and more unified and that's so exciting because we're really living in such a disconnected world.
[SPEAKER_01]: So
[SPEAKER_01]: to think that spending a couple minutes praying together could make us more bonded and closer together and that is just such an investment that's well worth it.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a bunch of research about prayer that's recently come out over the last couple of years that says that kids that pray or children that practice prayer during childhood,
[SPEAKER_01]: um, become healthier adults.
[SPEAKER_01]: So physically, mentally, spiritually, they become healthier.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I think that's really exciting because we know anxiety, depression, all of those things are on the rise and the world that we're living in.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's really hopeful research.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I love this.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was just looking at a study, um, kind of,
[SPEAKER_01]: you know, when we were leading up to Thanksgiving time about praise and gratitude and thinking God and maybe you've already heard this, but I was so excited to hear this.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's said that people that spend time thinking God or even just being grateful for the things around them, sleep better, have less aggression and have more empathy, and that just feels that hit home for me because
[SPEAKER_01]: when I remember to thank God for my kids or to see them as treasures, I am so much less aggressive.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I can be aggressive.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I can be like, get your shoes on again.
[SPEAKER_01]: Go, go, go, go.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's because I didn't stop and think about them as gifts.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I didn't thank God for them.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's why we play the grateful game in our house.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes we play it because,
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just like disgusted at our home because it's a total mess.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, I wish we had a bigger house or whatever.
[SPEAKER_01]: I get in that mindset.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, you guys, let's thank God for things around us.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we'll start thanking God.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it just, he uses that to make us different.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like he really changes our hearts when we do that.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I love that this research shows that prayer is good for us.
[SPEAKER_01]: It makes us healthier.
[SPEAKER_01]: It makes us sleep better.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like God is just so cool.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that you touched to on how prayer has changed your parenting and how in your not so great moments of parenting.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was usually a correlation there between surrendering to the Lord or not.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's so true for all of us and super relatable.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just maybe we don't have like the words for it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Hmm.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because it really does change us.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like sometimes we think of prayer as just this formality or this thing that we're supposed to do.
[SPEAKER_01]: but it stops us in our tracks.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, sometimes if I'm praying over my kids, I get convicted and I gotta go back and apologize about something.
[SPEAKER_01]: Or the Lord gives me a question to ask them.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I hear about something that's on their heart that I wouldn't have even known, they were struggling with.
[SPEAKER_01]: And they might have taken that into adulthood, you know, that life, from the enemy.
[SPEAKER_01]: So when we stop and we pray, it really changes the type of parents that we are, which, oh, we all need that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, okay, so as, so like you said, we started this, I mean, you were pregnant with your fourth when we started to talk you about prayer together.
[SPEAKER_00]: So your kids have grown up and my kids, our kids together have grown up with us working in prayer ministry.
[SPEAKER_00]: So they've been our little getting things.
[SPEAKER_00]: We prayed with them in a million different ways.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we found the ways that work really well for our families, but they were little when we started raising prayer for kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you think you have seen your kids prayer life grow and change over the years?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you have a tween.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have kind of two tweens now.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a totally different stage.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that question because I think sometimes when you start out praying with your kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: it takes years to see fruit.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you're like, is this even doing anything?
[SPEAKER_01]: Is this even helping?
[SPEAKER_01]: It is an investment and they're watching you and it's so worth it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have noticed with the older kids them just being a little bit more comfortable with prayer because we do it so much and it's just become kind of the culture of our home.
[SPEAKER_01]: We'll be out and about and they will offer to pray for somebody which they never would have done you know a few years ago and
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, our oldest son, he just told us that sometimes he can't sleep and he will just start praising God and like playing the great full game to fall asleep.
[SPEAKER_01]: So he'll like start with A, like God, you're awesome, God, you're big and then he'll fall asleep.
[SPEAKER_01]: My next daughter, um, we can probably all relate to having like a spicy child, a child that is just full of passion.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I sometimes hear her in her room, just like crying out to the whole
[SPEAKER_01]: to the other day, it was just kind of like, oh, I spirit, I need you to give me self control.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the nasty way she was talking with in my like, gosh, she is just talking to him like she talks to me.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like she is just so close to him.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I'm starting to see that more and more, which is so exciting.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I'm like, oh, this is something that they can have without me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like they can
[SPEAKER_01]: be off at school or, you know, church or wherever they are and they could be doing a breath prayer and because we've just been practicing it so much even when they roll their eyes and they don't want to do it It's there.
[SPEAKER_01]: They know how to do it.
[SPEAKER_01]: They know how to pry out to the Lord.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think that's really exciting
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, let's talk about Brinley for a second.
[SPEAKER_01]: What a girl Brinley.
[SPEAKER_00]: What?
[SPEAKER_00]: You two are two peas in a pod for sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love me some Brinley.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that another misconception people might have over a ministry family.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like yours is that you have four kids who are just like, this is gonna be easy.
[SPEAKER_00]: for them to write a cypalde.
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is just they're probably like sweet little angelic things.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then we have friendly.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we have really else who yells at the Holy Spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, she just straight yells at the Holy Spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: She really does, and I'm so glad, I'm so glad.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, oh, I love this girl.
[SPEAKER_00]: This girl is going to change the world for Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: She is incredible, but she is not like a child who would be one that you could just like, and now we're gonna do this and it's gonna work really well.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you're gonna follow all the expectations I have for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: So like, why does it look like to disciple a child
[SPEAKER_00]: super strong wilt and passionate and amazing.
[SPEAKER_00]: That is such a good question.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that and you're reminding me to treasure that because it is such a gift.
[SPEAKER_01]: We were just reading the story of Hannah when she can't
[SPEAKER_01]: conceive and she goes in and she's just crying out to the Lord so passionately that the priest is like get out of here later you're drunk and really loved that story.
[SPEAKER_01]: She was like oh so she was probably like like this and like first you know crazy and so she loved she really related to that passion but yeah it's difficult because sometimes I get in my mind that we are going to just have this really peaceful
[SPEAKER_01]: special time together and it's it's not going to go that way if she doesn't agree.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's she will change the trajectory of the the tone of the home.
[SPEAKER_01]: So she is definitely the one that keeps me on my knees the most like word.
[SPEAKER_01]: How do I how do I do this?
[SPEAKER_01]: How do I do this?
[SPEAKER_01]: But I do think it's so fun seeing in our kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: Just these strengths.
[SPEAKER_01]: that are really hard to parent when they're young, but you know God's gonna do something great with it.
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's like this daily surrendering like Lord, make it go this way and not this way.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it takes this passion towards you and not towards a destructive rampage.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's just reminding me to pray a lot and then also to pray for the other ones.
[SPEAKER_01]: I heard my, our senior pastors at the other day, you know, I think I really prayed for the kids,
[SPEAKER_01]: that were really hard to parent and I forgot about the ones that were really easy.
[SPEAKER_01]: So always remember to pray for all of them.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that was really good wisdom for me because that, you know, there's one or two of them that will be very compliant.
[SPEAKER_01]: And they I need to kind of check on their hearts a little more than the spicy loud ones.
[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, that to remember too.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just truly amazing how God made them so different and like you're all raised in the same home.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like why aren't you all the same?
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't understand.
[SPEAKER_00]: You share DNA.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, you think they would all be the same.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if that's not evidence for creator, I don't know what is.
[SPEAKER_00]: But like we have to disciple each of them differently, right, depending on their personalities.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, they're all going to respond to us differently and God differently too.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like your sweet Lila, your other daughter is so quiet.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's not going to yell at the Holy Spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that's just like not how she's going to relate.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: To talking with God, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Neither of those are wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Different.
[SPEAKER_01]: Different.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we need strength because it's exhausting to pair it differently.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's would be so much easier to do this mold for everybody, but it is exhausting.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's always
[SPEAKER_01]: with the other night at 10, 30, Lila asked me.
[SPEAKER_01]: if she was really a Christian, if she didn't want to die for Jesus, which I thought was the greatest question ever, but it was 1030.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then briefly said, actually, I think I would like to be a martyr.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that would be, I'm like, sitting here with these two girls, like, both of these aren't equally too difficult for me to answer right now.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, Holy Spirit, come on in and help me
[SPEAKER_00]: Always at 10 30 at night like always always always hold on 30.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so let's to kind of wrap up our time.
[SPEAKER_00]: Can you give us like maybe your favorite way to pray with kids that parents can do super easy like in every age.
[SPEAKER_00]: So maybe like a young kid and elementary and then like a teenager.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like your favorite thing to do with them to get them praying.
[SPEAKER_01]: Hmm.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I love that question.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, well, I would say a couple, a couple of my favorite ways.
[SPEAKER_01]: One would be, it's so funny stuff because I was thinking about blessing your kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I can't even remember if you wrote that chapter, I did because so many of the things that you wrote have become such a part of our family.
[SPEAKER_01]: But anyway, one of the chapters is blessing your kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's,
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so simple.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just speaking truth over them.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it can be from God's word.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, may you know, may the word bless you and keep you, may he make his face shine upon you, or it can be just something true, like may you remember that your mom and dad love you so much.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we'll never stop loving you.
[SPEAKER_01]: and just speaking that truth over them.
[SPEAKER_01]: But we started that when our kids were really, really little and I know you do that with your kids too and your kids have even blessed each other, and that's just such a special, quick way to speak truth over them.
[SPEAKER_01]: Whether they're listening or not, you know, just to have that become a normal thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think that's such a special thing to do with older kids too.
[SPEAKER_01]: I just got to hear a really cool story.
[SPEAKER_01]: this week of somebody at church who um he started blessing his kids when they were I think they were middle schoolers and he shared the story with my husband that on the way to school last week his high school age son um you know they're pulling up to the school and he always
[SPEAKER_01]: gives his son some sort of blessing.
[SPEAKER_01]: And he had forgotten that day.
[SPEAKER_01]: So his son turned off the radio and just bowed his head and just waited for his dad to bless him.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so even teenagers, I know another dad at our church who texts his daughter.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's in college every single day.
[SPEAKER_01]: He texts her something.
[SPEAKER_01]: that's true about her, that he loves about her and something from God's word.
[SPEAKER_01]: And she doesn't always write back.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes she hearts the message, sometimes she doesn't, but she's getting to hear these truths.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's important for little kids, but for big kids who are constantly hearing destructive messages from culture and social media in the world for them to be reminded of God's truth.
[SPEAKER_01]: And one way that parents that we can do this is we can just spend a minute asking God, what is my kid needs to hear?
[SPEAKER_01]: And then just speaking that over them.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I have a kid who wrestles with guilt, just like I did as a kid and still do, he's still, and
[SPEAKER_01]: working out with the Lord, but sometimes I'll just say, me, you know that your sins are as far away as the east is from the west.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I just see his eyes light up.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like he just loves to be reminded that he's forgiven.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's holy and boyless in God's sight.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I love that one.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then another one that has just really changed our family.
[SPEAKER_01]: A lot is breath prayers.
[SPEAKER_01]: And or you can call him tiny prayers or baby prayers, but it's basically just breathing in and calling out a name for God and breathing out and asking him for help with something.
[SPEAKER_01]: In our family, a lot of times we'll breathe in through our nose and say, Holy Spirit, breathe out through our mouth, give me peace or bring me peace.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we'll do that a lot when things get loud or passionate, too passionate in the whole of the house.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then my daughter, Brinley, during homeschool, she made up she breathed and she says, this is hard.
[SPEAKER_01]: for you are with me.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that one has changed my whole life, watching Brinley do that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think she made that up when she was like seven, but it's such a good reminder for me that life isn't supposed to be easy sometimes it's really hard and I can't, but Jesus can.
[SPEAKER_01]: We do a lot of those and I think those are great at every age level because when we do that with our little kids we hold them and we breathe with them and we help them to do a little breath prayer that's so calming for babies and toddlers but then our adult children they can go off into the world and nobody even has to know they're doing that it can be in the car breathing and praying they could be in college or wherever they are breathing and praying so I think those are two
[SPEAKER_01]: thankful for and have really changed our family.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I love that you bring up the point that they can be used at all ages.
[SPEAKER_01]: Hmm.
[SPEAKER_00]: It just will look different, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_00]: You'll just maybe you'll hold your toddler and do a breath prayer, but probably not your high schooler.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
[SPEAKER_00]: No?
[SPEAKER_00]: Or you'll bless your kids?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you'll bless your kids on the way to the bus stop when they're in elementary school and you'll text them when they're in college.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Those are both good things.
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_00]: Change every new phase is different.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to adjust not just your parenting with each stage, but how you disciple them and pray with them too, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Everything's always changing.
[SPEAKER_00]: We just have to be intentional about all of it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, and meet them where they're at and kind of figure out what's going to speak to them.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, even like the grateful game, you know, that's such a silly fun game to play with little kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: But with a group of high school girls, we are in this little challenge right now, trying to get to 10,000 things we want to thank God for in our journals.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so we'll sometimes text each other.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll be like, I'm in the 3,000s.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's our way of playing the grateful game as teenagers and adults is
[SPEAKER_01]: you know, keeping track, starting our day with praise and gratitude.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the same thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just a little less little kitty, you know, so it works that out of the future.
[SPEAKER_01]: Journal out of it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Will you give us to really wrap up our time out?
[SPEAKER_00]: Will you give, for people who are just going to start this series on discipleship and they're just starting to think about how they're going to disciple their kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: in the thick of it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Trying to figure out how they're going to teach their kids how to know love and follow Jesus.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I love that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I would love to.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so for any parent who's listening, who thinks I want to disciple my kids,
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so proud of you, God is so proud of you and he picked you to be the mom or the dad of your kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: Nobody else he picked you, but that doesn't mean you can do it on your own.
[SPEAKER_01]: That means he's going to help you every step of the way.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I would say,
[SPEAKER_01]: Start by just asking him for help, asking him to give you a word for your kiddos or for your child.
[SPEAKER_01]: And just start really small.
[SPEAKER_01]: Start by just sharing with your kids what God is teaching you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And maybe try one of the prayer games on our blog.
[SPEAKER_01]: But just remember that he picked you to be the parent.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's going to give you everything you need to parent that well.
[SPEAKER_01]: the fact that you are here and you've listened to those whole thing and you want to share your faith with your kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're doing it right.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're doing such a good job.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's easy to grow weary, but don't grow weary because you are going to be blessed.
[SPEAKER_01]: And what you're doing is important work that will impact
[SPEAKER_01]: not only your kids but their kids and their kids and their kids and their kids it will impact generations and even if you just start by just saying a prayer for them, your prayers are the only thing that you can give your kids that will last forever.
[SPEAKER_01]: So keep doing it, you're doing a great job.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you Sarah.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're so sweet.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so glad that you were finally on the podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll do it again.
[SPEAKER_00]: Me too.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much, Zach, for what you're doing.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is such important work.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm so thankful that I got to be with you today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and then I'll put all links to find raising prayerful kids and all the things in show notes.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that everyone can find it.
[SPEAKER_00]: So love it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, Steph.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for being here this week.
[SPEAKER_00]: You guys, I appreciate it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love being with you every week.
[SPEAKER_00]: So thank you for letting me into your parenting journey.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have links to raising purple kids in the show notes for you so you can connect with that ministry and Sarah there.
[SPEAKER_00]: I also have a link for our discipleship simplified guide.
[SPEAKER_00]: So make sure you go get a copy of that and stay tuned over the next few weeks as we continue this discussion.
[SPEAKER_00]: May God bless you this week, may remember that God of the universe wants to parent with you.
[SPEAKER_00]: He created you to parent your kids and he will give you everything you need to do it well.
[SPEAKER_00]: Cry out to him, he hears you and he wants to talk to you.