[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome back to Room for Us, a space where queer voices thrive.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm your host P and every single week.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd like to sit down, get vulnerable, and talk about all things queer with all of you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And this week, I have my two very, very dear friends, Kayla and Tiff, who are also the creators of a chicken name, Paul, on the podcast.
[SPEAKER_01]: I am so excited.
[SPEAKER_01]: Kayla and Tiff are a queer couple who have been together for four years.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I genuinely just learn so much from them each time we get to hang out.
[SPEAKER_01]: And for more context, I've actually known Kayla for over 10 years now.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I've known Tiff for four.
[SPEAKER_01]: So when I used to live in Toronto, we would always make plans to get together, have food, watch movies, and honestly, every single time, we would end up having these very, very vulnerable chats.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's kind of where a chicken name Paul comes into play.
[SPEAKER_01]: From their YouTube channel.
[SPEAKER_01]: Kayla and Tiff describe a chicken name Paul as a connection based game show that embraces surface level conversation while also diving deep into complex topics.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the emotional game show no one asked for but one you might just a little bit need.
[SPEAKER_01]: And honestly, it is exactly what I need.
[SPEAKER_01]: When Crystal and I had moved to Vancouver, we didn't really have community here.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, we have moments where we really miss our connections back in Toronto and what's beautiful about having a chicken name Paul and I'm such a big fan of long form content anyway is that just having Kayla and Tiff on in the background.
[SPEAKER_01]: on the projector like on the wall while I'm vacuuming or just cleaning like doing some household chores like it really, really feels like they're in the room with me and I am also learning so much.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm feeling like I want to challenge myself and even ask like my partner crystal these questions and we can have the chance to get a little deeper.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's a really, really beautiful show when I really encourage you all to check out their Instagram, their TikTok and also their
[SPEAKER_01]: content, but as I mentioned on their other social channels, they also post a ton of short form content featuring many different series.
[SPEAKER_01]: You get to know a little bit more about them and their dynamic as a couple, but also things like AstroChat where they ask.
[SPEAKER_01]: which sign is most likely to do something and one of my favorites brutally honest questions.
[SPEAKER_01]: For example, one of the brutally honest cues that they featured on their channel was how often do you think of leaving me.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that is something that is so vulnerable, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like these are questions, these two as a couple are having and it's just it's very, very fascinating and also so important.
[SPEAKER_01]: Vulnerable, open, honest, and that is what I really appreciate about a chicken name Paul.
[SPEAKER_01]: Kayla, Tiff, you know how much I love you both, and I can't wait for the room for us listeners to get to know you a little bit more.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can all follow a chicken name Paul everywhere at a chicken name Paul.
[SPEAKER_01]: I really hope you enjoy this conversation.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so happy to see you both.
[SPEAKER_01]: I just did it to you.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was so happy to have you too on because I am obsessed with the chicken name Paul.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yay, yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like the exact kind of content I love.
[SPEAKER_01]: I get inspired.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love seeing couples like just get vulnerable and openly chat.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I would, I just remember always like when I'm cleaning or doing whatever, I would have like your long form content too, just playing in the background because it feels like I'm with you guys, you know?
[SPEAKER_01]: Now I'm in Vancouver, I can't see you too.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's nice.
[SPEAKER_00]: We started on YouTube, but then have been doing better on Instagram.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we have been making less long-form content on YouTube.
[SPEAKER_00]: Also, it's more time intensive to edit the long-form.
[SPEAKER_00]: But we really like the long-form.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like you and I are long-form.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's tedious.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're so right.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like with long form, you are spending so much time.
[SPEAKER_01]: Even if you're cutting it down to a 20 minute video, there's so many things you need to condense otherwise you're right.
[SPEAKER_01]: It could go on forever, but I am a long form kind of person.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love like if I click on a video, I was watching Hilary Duff some last meal and those are like 50 minutes long and I watched the whole thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I, and also love Hillary that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love her.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love her.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, yeah, that's fine.
[SPEAKER_01]: 15 minutes.
[SPEAKER_01]: No problem.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm locked in.
[SPEAKER_00]: I also feel like you're an editing mastermind, like you're so good.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like you're so efficient at editing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's really cutting.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, it's true because I remember I asked you once for help on editing.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're like,
[SPEAKER_00]: even onward about this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, that's really nice.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Things to know about persons.
[SPEAKER_00]: This, this, this, at an ingenious.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, look at the persons I'm many, Jen.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I feel like a patient fast and like in human design.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love finding out about people and we're going to get into this too because I love your series about the Astro chats when you're like which sign would do this?
[SPEAKER_01]: Because it tells you a lot about a person, and I feel like everyone, you know, when it comes to there, yeah, the manifesting generator and the, um, what's that called again, Kayla, we talked about this.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's your human design, you would design.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: So fascinating.
[SPEAKER_00]: The astronauts really get, we haven't done one real while, but people love them.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, they're fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: love engaging and I love an astronaut chat.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, we're always talking astrology in this.
[SPEAKER_01]: And all the, like, the your son, your moon.
[SPEAKER_01]: That because those are really important to your moon and your rising.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then wait, you're a zebra.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep, you know, moon.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And cap rising.
[SPEAKER_00]: Cap rising.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're always good job.
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're pretty of ours, like us.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: I remember being like this tracks.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're so honest with you.
[SPEAKER_01]: So for the listeners, can you tell them a little bit about yourself and what has been bringing you joy lately?
[SPEAKER_01]: My name is Kayla.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a Gemini Gemini Rising Twin.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love running.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love a little yoga.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm really into recently like exploring things that are helping me to heal my inner child.
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you want to go, I'd climb to treat with my friend.
[SPEAKER_00]: I started pedassling something last night.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're so little.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm learning Russian.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is my grandmother's Russian.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's a way of like,
[SPEAKER_00]: kind of connecting back to her.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's my current like fixation.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, I'm writing children's book series, the life.
[SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, the children's book series has really been bringing me a lot of joy recently.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: I am illustrating the series as well, and it's just like filling my heart with so much happiness.
[SPEAKER_00]: I am deaf.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, I am a Scorpio cap rising for going to do rising.
[UNKNOWN]: So
[SPEAKER_00]: or sunrise and rather.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're about me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a tattoo artist.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love Kayla.
[SPEAKER_00]: Something I'm joyful about.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been really immersed in watching D&D podcast lately.
[SPEAKER_00]: Boom.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's winter or like we're just we just past spring, but it's been a long winter.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I've been like huddled in, making stock, watching D&D.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Just stay cozy.
[SPEAKER_01]: A chicken name Paul, as I mentioned, I am obsessed with.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's the most amazing concept and it also inspires conversations between my partner Crystal and I. I know we we honestly, after we like watch one of the videos, I'll ask Crystal, like all the same questions.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's been nice.
[SPEAKER_01]: so you describe the game it's a connection based game show that embraces surface level conversation while also diving deep into complex topics it's the emotional game show no one asked for but one you might just a little bit need like yes I need it quite a bit so what inspired this idea
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I guess what you're, what you're referencing is our, like, original YouTube idea.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a, we went, we talked about back and forth between different topics.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think what inspired the idea was looking at, like, mind-in-tips conversations, and we could, like, go deeply fast, but then also laugh about stupid things.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like we're healing a lot, like, in our relationship, and then also each within
[SPEAKER_00]: Which shows up in the conversation so I think I just said the tip one day like we should record these and you know how to maybe we could try like a game show type format
[SPEAKER_00]: which is what we did in a show on the YouTube where we were doing like four questions, four categories, but then we found we thought maybe it was a little too confusing, so then we just started to convince it down to one topic per video.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think everything was just inspired by like our love of
[SPEAKER_00]: connection and that's awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love a connection and yapping.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: The love of yapping.
[SPEAKER_01]: It can really go far.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, let's we're we're going to put this online, which I love.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think a lot of people need that.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's communications also so big for me.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love to yapp for sure and getting deep.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not a surface level.
[SPEAKER_01]: Even like something can become surface level like you said, but then you go deeper.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like that's been my
[SPEAKER_01]: just we always get deep, which I appreciate.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I like you can start with something as an Oculus as what's your favorite potato and then we start talking about, uh, I don't know, like,
[SPEAKER_02]: agnosticism, something like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we end up talking about the quote, I quote, potato salmon, which as we know is was not a salmon at all.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like a manufacturer thing for the Irish, and then we talk about how religion ends up in that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you know, do the idea.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I love this.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love how something can start, you know, simple and then you go deeper and I feel like my dad is very much like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was just think I just had a memory of this when Crystal and I were visiting home for a little bit.
[SPEAKER_01]: We were with my parents until like four in the morning just.
[SPEAKER_01]: chatting like getting so deep like we're talking about pop culture and then we're getting so deep into religion and I feel like that's Yeah, I love conversations like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's one of my favorite things to do when you connect with people when you meet new people I love that and you really get to know someone.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I had a really hard time figuring out how to ask a good question and I know obviously we is something like journalism you learn like
[SPEAKER_00]: you know, who, what were on why and how, as like the first thing that you asked to, you know, whatever to make a question more expansive.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think Taylor has like a very quick mind in coming up with inventive, thoughtful, and like, not per soaking questions.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I always feel like I'm a little bit think catch up, but I'm like, okay, this is a good model of like how to ask a question
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's funny.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if that interests a question at all.
[SPEAKER_01]: It does.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's a really good skill.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're so right because I think there's one thing to just ask, you know, a standard question, but how are you really going to dive deep for it's for there to be layers?
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's a really good skill.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I'd say both of you are really like that as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like even on when I watch the long form content, the short form content, but mainly the long because you're really like in a deep conversation.
[SPEAKER_01]: The banter between you two is just it's flowing.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's really really nice.
[SPEAKER_01]: I do know this, but for the listeners, how did you two meet and what drew you to each other initially?
[SPEAKER_02]: It's actually the number one thing that people like message us about in our DMs.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like when we do a Q&A, they're like, please tell us how you met.
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's like the boring, there's the short short form.
[SPEAKER_00]: and then there's long story long.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so the short form would be a co-worker of mine recommended tips tattoo page in 2016.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said that she was wanting to get a tattoo with this amazing artist.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I said, oh, can I see their page?
[SPEAKER_02]: My co-worker pulled up tips page and I thought, oh my god, this press is amazing.
[SPEAKER_02]: follow them.
[SPEAKER_00]: I actually ended up booking before my coworker did for a tattoo on my arm and I was really like obsessed with not obsessed.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, I was really interested in someone at the time and I'm ever telling you to have about it in the chair as I'm getting a tattoo and an antif exchange
[SPEAKER_00]: they're fiance at the time.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that was like our first kind of in our action.
[SPEAKER_00]: So Kaley used to work at Soul Cycle.
[SPEAKER_00]: And slowly I kind of realized that people in the Soul Cycle community, like a few of them had been tattooed by me and they all slowly started to want to hang out together.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like it's like I would be tattooing one of them and then another one would show up at the appointment as support.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like wait!
[SPEAKER_00]: That's so nice.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's really nice.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm like, can I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable but like, do you all want to hang out?
[SPEAKER_00]: Is this gonna weird?
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that nice?
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_00]: We went for like a drink once or something but we started a friendship that was, yeah, 2016.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I guess the, there was like five years in between I think.
[SPEAKER_00]: But that's just like being perfectly friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I was very at the time.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, 2016.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a lot that I didn't realize it was that early when you two had met actually, 2016.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we were like online friends, we met up a couple times, Kila and I lived in the same neighborhood, so I saw Kila.
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought Kila was a like gentle ray of sunshine.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like you have like I remember talking to my ex.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like you have to meet this person like she's so joyful.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think you're really like her.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I like being around her because like she makes me see all the joyful and then I feel like everyone should experience that to have sex did not like me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's important.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I just like when I meet people who are like joyful, I'm like you should meet like you everyone should meet you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, one should know what that feels like to be held and like warmth and care.
[SPEAKER_00]: Also, wait, sorry, go ahead.
[SPEAKER_00]: We actually lived across the street from each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we would, we would like, that was passing in the night.
[SPEAKER_00]: But like, the city would go high.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry, and in 2021.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so different.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would like light friends as well, I would say.
[SPEAKER_00]: If someone knew it was going to touch you from them, I would maybe pop by, like send this video or something.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think we'd hung out like once or twice.
[SPEAKER_00]: across that timeframe.
[SPEAKER_00]: And in 2021, I haven't dreamed that like Tiff wasn't doing good.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's plenty of cloning because it's been doing it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't muddled in 2020.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I just like haven't dreamed that Tiff really wasn't doing well.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I have had dreams like this in the past that usually are true, per se.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but I left it, but after a few days, I thought, okay, I'm just going to reach out.
[SPEAKER_00]: I reach up to 10th of like, hey, are you good to sit like, yeah, no problem.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, we don't have a close enough relationship.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not appropriate for me to get into it.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm just going to say, like, that's so kind.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for saving me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm all good.
[SPEAKER_00]: Appreciate it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Then I had an other journey literally like two weeks later.
[SPEAKER_02]: Again, that it was like not good.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I miss it.
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's the shift again.
[SPEAKER_02]: And things don't work.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I was like, are you sure?
[SPEAKER_02]: You're not good.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Tiff is like, yeah, I'm not good.
[SPEAKER_02]: Can we meet up?
[SPEAKER_02]: So we've been up for a coffee.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I remember being like, oh,
[SPEAKER_02]: This is so cute.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah, I didn't have an ults at all.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I remember I message my one of my best runs, Crets, and I was like, Tim was looking cute.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Chris is like, get after it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, oh, hey, I was having a really hard time sleeping.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I had actually slept in so late.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, oh, no, I have to get there 20 minutes and I simply just woke up.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I just threw on whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the fact that you thought I was cute, heels.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, sorry, we're at this point.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's what you're going to need to see.
[SPEAKER_00]: But anyways, we met up and then chatted and then I started telling Tiff about this person that I was interested in and asking Tiff for advice and this person was giving mixed messages.
[SPEAKER_00]: We make them worse mixed messages.
[SPEAKER_00]: So can you scroll back to our Instagram at that time?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's Tiff voice notting me advice about this other person.
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll leave it at that, but that's kind of true.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's so cute though, because it started initially, obviously, it's like a friendship more so.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then Kayla, when you noticed, Tiff is looking cute.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like something, it was like a little switch.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, then I was telling you about this as it was.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Also, I, I figured out because like I didn't know Kayla as well obviously as well as I know now but at the time of like Kayla is incredibly generous with her with her words of like care and love and like I noticed that with her friends and like
[SPEAKER_00]: I was going through a really rough separation from my wife at the time, and I had, I was like, cool.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm going to do all the breakup things.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm going to get a haircut.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to do the things that make me feel comfortable, make me feel good, make me feel safe.
[SPEAKER_00]: And like, I'll be honest.
[SPEAKER_00]: I knew I looked good.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I got a haircut.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, I was like, I know that like, even if I got a trim, I know that Kayla would comment on it, because she's this kind of person.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said, nothing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, I know that if I painted my nails, kill me like, oh, cute.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he looks like.
[SPEAKER_00]: Nothing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Something wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's interested.
[SPEAKER_00]: But that's what it's this like running thing with us where you know that I'm interested if I go silent because with everyone at everything, like, oh, your hair looks so cute.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're like, oh, your does look so cute or your laugh is so nice.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then if I'm interested in actually interested in someone, I get nervous and clanny and I don't say anything at all.
[SPEAKER_00]: So like, Taylor's, Taylor's a Gemini.
[SPEAKER_00]: So her natural way of being for you I think is flirting, which is life full and I love it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, like some people would be like, why are you so, no, I love it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, so flirty is like, and I think it's like so joyful.
[SPEAKER_00]: But like, I'm never threatened because I'm like, she's talking to the man she's flirting.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just not flirting, then we have a problem.
[SPEAKER_01]: That is so good.
[SPEAKER_01]: That is such a buddy indicator.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that though.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're like, if Kayla's quiet, we I'm not going to answer this question, but I guess like what was your first impression of each other?
[SPEAKER_01]: And obviously now you've been together for many years, like versus what you know now.
[SPEAKER_00]: you are what I see you have.
[SPEAKER_00]: You are like, I mentioned earlier, I saw you as like joyful as sunshine, as warmth, as like, and I think those are still and like very quintessential to like the kind of person you are.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you are who you say you are.
[SPEAKER_00]: For myself, I always think that like I am exactly like in any scenario, the same like in public and private, like I'm the same person for the most per, and I would say my first impression of you was like you're like,
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I love it, absolutely that has surprised me.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're like you're dedicated, loyal, focus, but you also have like a shithead, so I, that's perfect.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's how I keep you at your commute.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I would say like it's maybe it's the Scorpio cap.
[SPEAKER_00]: Next we're like, oh, private.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, what things that I'm mysterious?
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think so at all.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyone with a Scorpio place, but I think it's mysterious.
[SPEAKER_01]: you have a little mysterious.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I think the cap rising makes a lot of sense because that shows when you're at work.
[SPEAKER_01]: As you said, you're very dedicated, you're focused.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's my job.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you were to find it was Lucy Kousi.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: But then, like, the Scorpio side of you, what I love is the honesty you get from a Scorpio, for sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like a Scorpio is like a no BS kind of vibe.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's the vibe I get from
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I don't know if that's necessarily like an astrology thing or if it's like an autism thing because I don't always know when is the right time to tell a little white line.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just like cool.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to tell you exactly the truth and maybe that's not the right call and it's going to be into a lot of hot water.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, and then wing that S.R.Q.
[SPEAKER_00]: The League, because in the past, you have to tell me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll be like, oh, we're just running a little bit behind and typically like, no, we're not.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, we can do this.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just a time.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: We got, we got 20 more minutes.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can make so much time.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, we gotta go.
[SPEAKER_00]: Or, okay, I was like, I gotta go with my phone, so I'm like, I gotta go with my phone, so I'm like, I gotta go with my phone, so I'm like, I gotta go with my phone, so I'm like,
[SPEAKER_01]: So good and you're like, no, no, no, no, like, I'm just trying to just try to be helpful.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I love that, though, a Scorpio and a Gemini.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, how do you find like that that compatibility?
[SPEAKER_00]: I like it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's good.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love the Gemini.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I love the Scorpio.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, we're catching up on my toes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we are strange.
[SPEAKER_00]: Are we strange?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry, I'm not strange.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sorry, I meant we like Gemini's.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like Gemini's always are floating around with my different things.
[SPEAKER_00]: I never know what you're going to say.
[SPEAKER_00]: I simultaneously know exactly what you're going to say.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I simultaneously don't know what you're going to say.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like I don't know what the top is going to be.
[SPEAKER_00]: But as soon as you start talking, I'm like, I know exactly.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here for the bit and I'm going to join it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think my whole thing with dating, that I kept running into being honest, I just felt really bored with many people.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just found that I was getting bored as they say.
[SPEAKER_00]: the way to get a Gemini's attention is to stimulate their mind.
[SPEAKER_02]: Hmm.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to have a lot of Gemini Clayson's in my chart.
[SPEAKER_00]: So historically, I've been really taken by people that are strong intellects.
[SPEAKER_00]: They have strong intellects and are great, conversationaly.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I mean, I guess, I don't know if that's so much a scorpion thing, it is like a youth thing, but I don't know if that's been here.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I'm going to hear it bring like, into work.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, you are!
[SPEAKER_01]: That's just, but I even think the way, like, stimulating the mind is a really important thing and with that point, even just having stimulating conversations, like you two have, of course, like you show on a chicken name poll, but also I can only imagine all the conversations you have just the two of you, which is what inspired it, and I think that is what, like, those kinds of conversation can get somebody going, because a lot of couples, I feel maybe not a lot, I don't really know, but sometimes like they don't talk about the deep things,
[SPEAKER_01]: talk about like things you want to learn or I'm the same way I love to learn something new and um yeah it's especially when you're in like a longer term relationship it's good when you can have that good communication you're always stimulating each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: My very first like
[SPEAKER_00]: quote unquote deep love interest was when I was you say first long yeah yeah I guess by my first long was back in those 18 and we used to write emails back and forth to each other about like philosophy and that we would like to date
[SPEAKER_00]: things about religion and I have all emails still and we would number the emails.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think we got to like 40 or 50 and then when we stopped emailing me started spreading each other letters and it's all just like deep things and I'm grateful for that relationship because it taught me so much about myself and taught me like what I actually really need in partnership.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, let me go back and forth because like simple concepts, but also deep once as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: I did have a situation ship with somebody and hit and did as soon as he's I was bringing up a concept or had I was like I was thinking politically and I was taking like a Hitler Nazi Germany class, which was very dark.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, young, and I was like, I think many ways that fashion fascism appears in Nazi Germany is actually not too far from what we are, what we are, and probably would like experience in North America.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I always thought, when I was quite young, I was like maybe 17, 18, in early, and like my first ever college, I was like, I was like, okay, I like,
[SPEAKER_00]: And as we know now, I wasn't wrong, but I was like conceptualizing these things.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd like a relatively young age, and I wanted to like, like, pontificate about them.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I remember the person I was kind of seeing at the time, I like said my bit.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like prompting, have a discussion, and they just blankly looked at me into it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I know.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have any thoughts?
[SPEAKER_00]: What?
[SPEAKER_00]: you're kidding.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and like I don't want to drag this person because I'm sure like maybe they do now.
[SPEAKER_00]: I like they're, you know, but at the time, you know, we're both young.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like already.
[SPEAKER_00]: I like at such an advanced.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not listening to dance, but like I've always been like this where I'm like cool.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's.
[SPEAKER_00]: not not not a little not not a little bit catatrophies about a thing but like let's think broadly and how can we learn about something and apply it to a larger concept not just like this one pinpointed place where we're learning about a subject yeah and that ended it
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I wonder if that was a deflection on their part too.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like just just maybe there is something where they just wanted to be like No, they're like I'm not into this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh That's enough.
[SPEAKER_00]: That would be one way to end.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't have deep thoughts.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sorry, bye.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, it's a piggyback off of this and the deep thoughts and like the vulnerability one of my favorite formats you do on a chicken name Paul are the brutally honest questions people love it to and I I love that you're asking these deep questions because these are things like
[SPEAKER_01]: so many partners wouldn't even ask.
[SPEAKER_01]: And even tips responses, I've noticed who a lot of them are just so they're just so sincere.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I can see like in the comments, people are just they love it and Kayla's reactions.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like it's literally this right now, it's Kayla's reaction when tip answers.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I just want to know like, at what point did you realize your relationship felt very safe and you didn't have to hold back, especially when you're asked, like asking questions
[SPEAKER_00]: I think safety is something that I actually had to like, I didn't know that I needed and I found in relationship with Kayla.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I'm used to having conversations at depth, but I'm not necessarily, I wasn't always necessarily comfortable with having conversations or asking questions where it could almost purposely lead to conflict, because literally honest questions, I think some of the props are,
[SPEAKER_00]: Or like, they're not not in a way meant to provoke, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know exactly the time we're when I felt safe, but I think because of the way that you communicate, you've made it over time.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think definitely not at the beginning.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think that even necessarily the first year, that would have been comfortable answering those questions that you asked me, mostly because I had a lot of work I had to do like separately and therapy.
[SPEAKER_00]: to be able to receive those questions in a way where like, it's felt comfortable and safe for me to ask without trying to do few cents or both, they cater in response.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think the questions kind of as like two parts because when I met Jeff, I always tell people this that like, or even at the beginning, when I met you, I was telling everyone like, tip is just a safe person.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I've never met someone like
[SPEAKER_00]: that feels more safe than do to us because Tiff is very like consent forward and transparent and consistent, which is felt super healing for me, especially if someone with like a child background.
[SPEAKER_00]: But
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, because I'm also an avoidant attachment and I have relational trauma, it's a weird thing that happens and this is just what happened for me like I'm not saying it's for everyone, but like all of a sudden you are like you grow up in your life with all these people that aren't quote unquote like not say for you grow up in the toxic environment, then you meet someone that say if you're like, oh, thank God, but then you feel that safety and your body's like, no.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, kind of like, let's say something, pop, pop something is that really us is our way is that let it know so I think just I'm bringing that up because it's like I don't think we could have started really asked questions in year one no because we took a night like do activate each other we were activating each other because we still sometimes do and that's that's I think part.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's like two people with trauma that are trying to find healing.
[SPEAKER_00]: So there's like that release, but then there's the activation piece where you're like, wait, is this room?
[SPEAKER_00]: Is this true?
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you being sincere?
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you mean what you say?
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you actually safe?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I feel like you're safe, but like you're not safe.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think, um, we're in your for.
[SPEAKER_00]: now.
[SPEAKER_00]: So year four feels like the appropriate time to bring up the really honest questions, but I don't think we could have done it in year one, even though I was feeling like to participate.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's it.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what though I've talked about this in past episodes actually where I feel like a lot of people romanticize like the honeymoon phase or the first year of a
[SPEAKER_01]: beautiful and amazing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Everything's perfect and wish you could go back to that.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I remember even in my first year with Crystal, there were so many things we needed to learn about each other in our communication styles, our past traumas.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we're in your three now and I would say our communication has gotten so much better.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like there are things even when I watch your YouTube channel
[SPEAKER_01]: So like the brutally honest questions, I'm like, I don't think I could have asked Crystal that in the beginning because I feel like we both fired each other up so much like when you're two people are coming together and you're so different.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's so much to learn.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's interesting how some people are like all about the honeymoon phase when I'm really like, I don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like it just gets better each year because you're building a foundation, you're you're finding like safety that even though you feel safe.
[SPEAKER_01]: there's things that can still really trigger you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And even if it comes up now, I'm sure you to kind of now have the language to talk about it without it always being like all or nothing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you know, I'm curious about how you to like the communication styles of each of you and how you approach that in conflict.
[SPEAKER_00]: I hate that new face, not a fan.
[SPEAKER_00]: I literally hate it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to be in this face.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not real.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like let's move past it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it's fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's dopamine, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's oxytocin.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's serotonc.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's all of the good, happy drums.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're not drugs.
[SPEAKER_00]: But like chemicals that are like running through your body, that feels like a high.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that, I think is like, it's fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: I understand that.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, yeah, like the communication that we have long-term, I think it especially.
[SPEAKER_00]: especially as you were saying in conflict, it's like, I think ruptures about to happen happen, but repair it can be very challenging.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think for us, like when we do site, when we do argue, I get really like, I get big.
[SPEAKER_00]: And like, I know as soon as I get big, I have to get small again,
[SPEAKER_00]: I have to calm down because I can tell that my brain is reaching for things to prove that I'm right, because that is so important to me in the moment.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why perspective is right?
[SPEAKER_00]: What I'm experiencing and I know that I have to take a second to like step away and be like, okay, like obviously Caleb did not mean to hurt you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Everything in good faith.
[SPEAKER_00]: That was unintentional.
[SPEAKER_00]: How do we come back to this good faith argument?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like what is what is happening?
[SPEAKER_00]: You're
[SPEAKER_00]: I try to, like, usually if I need space every single time, just so that way I can, like, I learn this from my therapist when you're activated, your brain needs 90 minutes, actually to come down to, like, a standard place, like, minimum, 90 minutes.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I know that as soon as I have a very clear sensation in my body, it's like,
[SPEAKER_00]: hot liquid going up into my brain.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, all the base of my spine.
[SPEAKER_00]: And as soon as I feel that, I'm like, we got over.
[SPEAKER_00]: I need to leave and I need to calm down and then we can come back and like try this again.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then if I feel triggered in like repair conversation, I have to leave again and come back.
[SPEAKER_00]: until we can actually talk.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if that answers the question.
[SPEAKER_00]: It does, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's important to note because like we've been posting almost for a year now.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so maybe we're like, your relationship's amazing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you're so gentle with each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, yes, we have worked really hard to be gentle with each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: But also like year one and two,
[SPEAKER_00]: we were like active in each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like we've had many, yeah, like match, you know, it's important to just like say that that happens, because like in a love relationship, you're actually going to have a friction, I think, with some things.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: But we, I will say like, yes, we've had yelling matches.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, like I left it at half, tips left in a half, and that whole thing, but no matter what happens, like we don't belittle each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't shame each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't, we aren't like abusive in our language and I think it's important to be like, yes, we have conflict, but we really work hard to respect each other while we're fighting now.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would say because I think there's this misconception that a good relationship is a relationship where there's like no fighting happening and I disagree like I'm a psychology grad and I took this psychology plus relationships and
[SPEAKER_00]: The teacher always talked about how important it is for couples to fight because if you fight correctly, it can actually bring you closer together.
[SPEAKER_00]: And by creating like fight respectfully, yes, I can bring you closer together, but yeah, I wanted to add that in.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like a lot of our arguments usually end up around some sort of semantics.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, we're usually arguing the same side.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're on the same team.
[SPEAKER_00]: But like, I get fixated on, and like, I don't know if this is like an autistic thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: I see where it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Where it's like, I,
[SPEAKER_00]: The words have meaning, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: Tell me, like, I don't get what you're saying.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I'll be like, I don't get what you're saying.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, about where he's right is to be like, what do you mean?
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, I just said what I meant.
[SPEAKER_02]: And we're like two shifts passing in the night.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's the weirdest thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we're on the same page, like in terms of messaging, you're like, we both are on an alignment, but we're not able to communicate with.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's nowhere to say.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I've been trying to really work on is like because that is a hang up for me like what is true, what is real, what is correct.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think sometimes or maybe the thing I'm working on currently is
[SPEAKER_00]: do I care more about being right in this moment or do I care more about making sure that like I hear what Kayla sang a week come to some sort of compromise or understanding.
[SPEAKER_00]: And as soon as I'm thinking, oh, I want to make sure Kayla understands my point, it's no longer, we're no longer
[SPEAKER_00]: working together.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm working to prove something, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's not it's funny.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, because also it's all made.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then it will be like, that's not what that word means.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not the worst piece.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, so now, how do I like funny?
[SPEAKER_02]: Just it would be like, that's not the definition of that.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not what that word actually means.
[SPEAKER_02]: And we're like, in a fight.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then that's what we are fighting on.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I'll be like, what are we fighting about?
[SPEAKER_02]: It'll be like, I don't go.
[SPEAKER_01]: That is so good when you actually get to the point when you're like, what, what are we even talking about right now?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, usually when we fight, it's because somebody was either misunderstood or somebody was hurt in that must misunderstanding.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like anger is always, at least for me, a secondary emotion.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm like, okay, like, I need to come tough enough to be like that hurt by theories.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's interesting though because there was one point in time where Tiff really put their foot down and Tiff was like, we are done if you like can't take ownership because I really like skirted around taking ownership because I was blamed a lot as a child and so I went into adulthood being like all never take all never said this is my fault again.
[SPEAKER_00]: because I've just chronically been dumped on essentially, but like of course, that's not an unhumping mindset because it's like I do, I have done things that have hurt tips feelings, but then I was like, I really was not budging on not wanting to apologize to that make sense.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then tip was like, no.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to work.
[SPEAKER_00]: I grew up harming in so many ways and I was, I never received any sort of apologies.
[SPEAKER_00]: So for me moving forward, like I ended up in a lot of relationships, both friendships, and like romantic relationships, we're like, harm what happened and it would never be acknowledged, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Or apologize for her.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was just like, I can't do this anymore.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I refused to end up in another situation where
[SPEAKER_00]: I am constantly saying it's my fault because that's what would end up happening and I was like, this is not, I can't do this.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I wasn't trying to be cruel or like forceful in that statement.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I was trying, I don't think I really understood how to exactly make a boundary.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I ended up keeping you an automated and where I was like, I refuse to be in this relationship if you don't take accountability for the harm that you cause.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, which and that's a big thing to do, especially as you mentioned, that's like to set that boundary is strong.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I need to do more reading on like what a boundary actually is because I think a boundary is like what you like how it's white.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not trying to control another person.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like how what you will or won't go out.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's how you will behave based on how something happens.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: We struggle with boundaries, but that is true.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like it's not saying it's you can't do.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't do this.
[SPEAKER_00]: When you do this, I can't engage in conversation with you.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like saying, like, what you will or will not you start a rapid challenge.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that can show up in so many different scenarios, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Romantic relationships, friendships, family, like boundaries are so important.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like I'm constantly learning about it, too.
[SPEAKER_01]: And placing them because I 20 year old me, even into my later 20s, was not.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was really bad at setting boundaries, very much just going with the flow, didn't want to upset anyone.
[SPEAKER_01]: But then it comes to a point when you're like, this is not good, because people are going to walk all over you, your people pleasing is actually not.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not a good thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Learning.
[SPEAKER_00]: trauma work so I work with folks and have complex PTSD or PTSD and the number one question that I get asked by people is how to make like how to set better boundaries the number one thing like always
[SPEAKER_00]: talking point.
[SPEAKER_01]: So with your content, what I've noticed is you've built such a beautiful community with a chicken name Paul, and I'm just curious, has there been anything that has surprised you about the responses you've received, whether it's like comments or DMs?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm obviously a little bit surprised that people are interested in us.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like largely this idea was Kayla's brain child, like it was.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're like, I think it's, I think it'd be really cool to like, because I'm pretty private and I am deeply concerned with how people will perceive me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's a problem I'll try to work through and to repeat.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so like, I was apprehensive about allowing anybody to see
[SPEAKER_00]: me and any sort of intimate conversation or any conversation period because I don't know how people would interpret it and I think I'm shocked to see that people are interested in that be the response has been so positive.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think I'm surprised in a sense of like I've always said that you feel like a safe person and I noticed a lot of my friends kept saying like oh I need to
[SPEAKER_00]: stuff that would happen.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I just have the thought of like, well, I feel like it's healing a piece of meat to like be dating to.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like there's not good to hear that other people like it sound so simple, but it really is meaningful.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think other people need to feel that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So to be honest, just the instinct was like, I should share this because as a society, like a lot of things are becoming more shallow online.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just really feel like so many people are craving emotional depth and deeper conversations.
[SPEAKER_00]: Even though the arc is going this way, I'm thinking like, no, we need this.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's been like exactly as I thought it would and it's like we're star for connection, you know, like so many people messages and they're like, thank you so much like this is helping me in my relationship it's helping me you this differently and and I'm like that's like hope that it was going to deal so.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's nice to see that and I don't mean that in like an ego to go away.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just think it's paying attention to like, oh, this is something that I need.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's something my friends are needing and that verbalizing it to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think a greater population will surely feel that as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like an example, I can pull.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, thank you for saying that.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think an example I can pull where I was just like, I don't know, and Kayla's instincts were correct on this.
[SPEAKER_00]: An example I could pull would be the really one of the most recent brutally honest questions, where I asked her to do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, not the third one.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was, it was a question where I was asking, how often do you think about leaving?
[SPEAKER_00]: I crashed out after we filmed it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was, I liked it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had a little.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had a little cry.
[SPEAKER_00]: You were there for a day.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are you shocked?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I was just like, I don't feel like I- Because I feel like a lot of Kaila's Brewery Autosquestions kind of set me up to be put into a good light.
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt like maybe my questions were- My question wasn't being generous to Kaila and not fair.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I was like, I feel like this question doesn't-
[SPEAKER_00]: said he wants to be painted in a good light and like I don't think that's fair of me.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I think this response is actually really important and I think people need to hear it and I don't think it's going to inherently paint me in a bad light because it's just a response to how a lived experience is and it's not like the voice like right and I just started to
[SPEAKER_00]: I want people to see you the way I see you and like I don't feel like the questions set you up for that and then the response was like, thank you for asking this question or thank you for the response and like being vulnerable and answering this question, which I didn't realize it would go that way because I was like, this this is an unfair question task.
[SPEAKER_01]: but it's so honest.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's why people really loved it is because I also don't think you were setting up Kaylin about light even with Kaylin's response just being so honest and saying like this is kind of where my avoidance tends to come in.
[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, maybe those thoughts of the leaving thing like in an argument, you know, I've heard that before an argument too and it's just something you learn and you learn a lot about the other person and they're honestly attachment style throughout that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I appreciate a kale of being so honest because I think sometimes on the internet too, you might want to sugarcoat it or you might be like, you're fearful because you're like, oh my god, I'm setting myself up for judgment, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Most of them.
[SPEAKER_01]: But that's why I love that series.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's why I can understand it sparks of conversations between couples.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I said, I go and ask Crystal to say things, go, I love to know.
[SPEAKER_00]: My other friend says whenever she needs to like ship advice she like comes in scrolls her page of the like oh my gosh that's so wrecky what is it?
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you ask crystal brutally honest questions outside of the I see me would but like is there a question that you ask her crystal recently that is like within the realm of brutal honest questions oh that's a good question um and you don't have your song because that's private it's private
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I think I actually, because we've grown so much to even like, you know, moving to Vancouver, and I think we learned a lot about each other in that process, because we didn't have a lot of our comforts, like back home in Toronto, we were both there.
[SPEAKER_01]: So coming to a new city together, you learned so much about each other, because it's like, for the first little bit, as we're trying to make community here, it was really just the two of us for a while, just like learning so much about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: each other, and I learned a lot about myself too, like in terms of my mental health, because um, I wasn't working for a little bit, so I had a lot of like, literally transparent, like I had some free time with my thoughts, and I discovered a lot of things that would make me feel very anxious when I didn't have distractions, and um,
[SPEAKER_01]: I talked about this on the podcast, so it's not very private, but I'm actually, I think I have OCD or some forms of OCD that I'm looking into getting therapy for, but I've had to ask Crystal some brutally honest questions if like, this is too much for her, because, you know, like it is a lot, I feel like I have a lot of breakdowns, I've cried because like my mind goes into a spiral and I get so fearful of things like things that didn't even happen.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've learned something about false memory OCD, which is like, feel like tracks for me.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like you think of the worst thing ever, and then you imagine it actually happening.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then it like your thought goes into a spiral, because we've had a lot of arguments about it for sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: And but she's also been very supportive through it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And later she said, it's never too much for me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, and also for her as a partner, she can be, she's noticed this in herself.
[SPEAKER_01]: She can be kind of reactive at first, but then when we,
[SPEAKER_01]: come together and we talk through it, we both end up being closer.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I've definitely kind of similar to the realm of like how often do you think about leaving me?
[SPEAKER_01]: For sure, like I've had moments like that, where I'm like, is this too much?
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like I'm being a lot as a partner.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think between the two of us, I skew more anxious attachment crystals more avoided.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I'm just trying to find each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll find each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just like your anxious, I'm like, no, no, no, no.
[SPEAKER_00]: I am the wonderful, melange of both.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because we, albums with that in our first year, I think in our arguments, there, I would get upset because in an argument, she would be the first to be like, well, I'm just going to go.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, if you don't want to be in this anymore, like, I'm going to leave.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'd be like, that's not what I'm saying, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: But in her mind, it was like a defensive thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, if this is getting too hard, like, we don't need to do this, you know?
[SPEAKER_01]: So,
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, there's been a lot of growth between us because I think it's also, we're getting to the hardship.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're not just, and we'll be the first to say it.
[SPEAKER_01]: People might see online like, oh, every you guys never fight.
[SPEAKER_01]: Everything seems, I'm like, no, no, because I don't have a fight.
[SPEAKER_01]: We will 100%.
[SPEAKER_01]: But it only makes me love her more because I feel like we're safe.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like now, I can ask her the scary things and it's like, I'll get the brutally honest answer in, like,
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, thank you for sharing, I like I know you've already talked about it all and the podcast but like thank you for speaking more about that because that is vulnerable.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like we're talking about before I don't think any relationship where people are like we never fight and like you don't have a relationship.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm about that you speak to that as well because like I think and I don't know if this is inherently true but it almost feels like
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it feels like this digital of like a 1950s housewife thing of like we have a perfect relationship and we have our site and like that I don't think is sustainable or something that we should strive for.
[SPEAKER_00]: So like, I love that, um, I don't know, I just go to hear that like we're not the only ones having conversations that are like calving that makes sense.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, you're not, and with the OCD discovery, and I don't really like to, I, you, a self-diagnosis can be a struggle, but I personally think it's okay as long as it's giving you some kind of clarity in my opinion.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think,
[SPEAKER_01]: As I'm looking forward and going and looking into ERP or therapy, I'm getting excited about it because I've learned so much on my own through podcast, through reading.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's given me a lot of that like, huh, this makes, this makes sense because for a while, I was like, what is going on with my brain?
[SPEAKER_01]: Why do I get so anxious?
[SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, those were probably the biggest points of conflict because I think like,
[SPEAKER_01]: I would almost be like, well, why is she not being supportive when I'm having a spiral that I could also see in her mind?
[SPEAKER_01]: It was also kind of scary for her because she's like, this is very, this is tough.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, and it's also sad to see you get so fearful, like, about things that aren't happening.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we had to learn so much together.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was, it was a big part of our, our year, more so last year.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm actually thinking about whether or not this play is into it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And like, obviously, maybe there needs to be a greater study to like submit whether or not this is true.
[SPEAKER_00]: But based on what you're telling me in like way on personal experience, like I was recently diagnosed with autism, but I hadn't really thought about having aged heat or autism prior to being in relationship with Kayla.
[SPEAKER_00]: When you feel safe enough is that when we have like obviously you're going through a very like tumultuous time with moving or at least somewhat to stabilizing but I wonder if you
[SPEAKER_00]: started to explore, I mean, obviously like the moving thing would have maybe triggered some of those spiraling thoughts more.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I wonder if like having the safety to explore what that means in a relationship allowed you to like further discover, because I think self-diagnosis is I think to a certain degree quite valid because people who don't have or experience what your experience and don't think about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: for the longest time because it took me, I got one on the wait list to get diagnosed for autism, and then, like, in September, 2022, and I didn't get diagnosed until 2525.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, wow, yeah, so it was like a three, a three year wait.
[SPEAKER_00]: but that whole time, I was like, I don't know, I feel like I am.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like I'm trying to not, like, I'm not officially, but I am pure-gued.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, and so from that perspective, I was like, you know what, to your point, it's like, I started looking at forums and like what other autistic people listening to podcasts about people with autism and I'm like, no neurotypical person.
[SPEAKER_00]: does this much research into something that they don't have?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: Unless you're like in some sort of medical researcher, you know, some sort of, you know, it's like you're not going to hyperfocus about a thing that doesn't have anything necessarily to do with you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think especially when it comes to like mental health stuff.
[SPEAKER_00]: Typically, I'm making this assumption.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm making it right.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I can't talk with you with you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I feel like at the end of the day it's like whatever you find in you research and if those like whether or not you have that that you know exact diagnosis, if those things that help that community help you, I think that's the most important and like for me, I like I get really overstimulated or I understimulated okay so what does that mean I have to look at like a sensory diet it's you will like what do I need to set myself up for success what do I need to make sure that I can like.
[SPEAKER_00]: come down, I'm oversimulated.
[SPEAKER_00]: And these are things that help me.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, what if I'm not autistic?
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, nobody's, nobody's, nobody's researching this and that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I think we know ourselves ultimately, like the best, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like we were the ones inside our brains.
[SPEAKER_01]: We know how we feel.
[SPEAKER_01]: And when you're going to seek that out, that's when I also noticed, okay, this feels very real, because I am literally Googling,
[SPEAKER_01]: everything I'm feeling like these these are the things I'm feeling.
[SPEAKER_01]: I found podcast.
[SPEAKER_01]: We can do hard things had on a like your castings on who's like an OCD specialist who also has OCD.
[SPEAKER_01]: And when I heard that episode I literally felt like it was like walking on sunshine when I heard that episode because I I sent it to Crystal.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like listen to this because I can't
[SPEAKER_01]: I was having a trouble like trouble like describing it because you almost feel like I don't know I had to work through this I was feeling weird describing the feelings I would have but then when a legura was speaking to Glenn and Abby in saying this is exactly what I feel I was like oh my god.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you Thank you I definitely feel like I have some
[SPEAKER_01]: form of the CD for sure there's so many forms of it right there's when you go into the do a deep dive you're like oh there's there's almost one for every feeling kind of I never was thought about it until tip when I moved it out it feels like I think you have a CD and when I was a kid I would just like clean my room
[SPEAKER_00]: to clear my head, yeah, only, and I would make different piles.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd be like, this is for donate.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is to throw out, and I was the only kid that was like, nine that I knew of, that would just clean her room on her own, and like, it would take my brother weeks.
[SPEAKER_00]: to clean his room.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was like so filled this stuff and I never thought about that because even now if I'm like having a tough day I have to clean something.
[SPEAKER_00]: I found it in the pandemic too.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're like I would just feel better after like
[SPEAKER_00]: cleaning should be like this places on bass and I think it's beyond just cleaning.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like it's like it's it's like it's like yeah it's like you need to do extra steps to make sure that you feel safe and like
[SPEAKER_00]: Locking the door making sure the plugs are like it's and it all turns back to my childhood because I had it's all like this is new Like when I was the kid I used to wait till I tired family was asleep and then I check every single door But yeah, also my mom would miss stuff like that like we were at a hotel ones on a road trip And we were gonna cross the road to go to crack a barrel and my mom had a candle lit
[SPEAKER_00]: And we were halfway out of the door and I said, aren't you even a blow at the candle?
[SPEAKER_00]: And she was like, oh, whoops.
[SPEAKER_00]: And she blows up the candles.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was like, oh, that could've been bad.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think it taught me as a kid that I can't trust her decisions to keep me safe.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I have to be kind of vigilant.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I feel like I'm just bringing that up because I think it's like, I'm now just realizing I have OCD, but in all ways back to early.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I I feel you on that and I can find when I was a child to I wasn't thinking about it before but I was like oh yes me as a kid was there where the signs were there but back to tips point about the safety and discovering that I think I found that in relationship with Crystal for sure because I think it allowed me to like my mind to go there
[SPEAKER_01]: and it was scary because I was like, oh my god, where is this coming from?
[SPEAKER_01]: But I do think things like this come up or certain triggers that maybe would have pushed down somewhere before to come up maybe when you find yourself in a safe place.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I like that point you use that because I'm like, yeah, that's true.
[SPEAKER_01]: It really came to the to light when we moved here, really.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think like it's hard not to think more broadly.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think your brain just kind of does it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, wait, Phil, say, time to stir up the thing you haven't yet.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, why?
[SPEAKER_01]: Because it feels good.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're like, oh, I'm feeling really happy.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then it's like, like, a terrible new thing you must learn about yourself.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, the inner demon, the demon.
[SPEAKER_01]: My demon, I wonder what she looks like.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's coming out sometimes to be like, hey, remember me?
[SPEAKER_00]: I had a point a few months ago where I broke down because I started a program in the pandemic that helped people with trauma create safety in their life.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was really excited to create it because at the time I didn't really exist.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I, I think I recently had a breakdown about it because I am noticing like the more safety I create my own life, the harder some things can be he that I was like, I want to help people feel safe anymore because the safety is like
[SPEAKER_02]: You think it's going to be your feel feel safe and it's all going to feel better, but often it's like you feel safe and then everything that you've been running from or that's been like underneath the surface comes to the surface and so and that can feel like a little overwhelming and challenging so I think it's important to speak to that because Sometimes healing looks and feels that way, doesn't mean you're doing it wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: It just means like there is that dull nature of like the more safety you create, maybe the more that you're noticing the more that you're like present in your body and then that might feel uncomfortable and like there's so many things and I was shown to tell me that at the beginning of my healing journey like listen you're going to start to feel safe and that's going to feel really good on some days, but then on other days it's going to feel like really hard and painful because you're processing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's like I didn't realize the first, I don't know, 28 years of my life where a trauma response, what do you mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't work three jobs, keep multiple relationships running.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, like, somehow feed myself and do all of it up three hours of sleep.
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you mean that's not sustainable?
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you mean?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's so true.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love I love conversations like this because I think it's so important as we're getting to know ourselves and just taking care of ourselves, you know, and also having grace for ourselves that inner child who all we all needed it because we've been noticing these signs when we were kids and it's just you just want to give that person a hug.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, no, I noticed I'm even though, like, I can't do as much as I used to when I was younger, especially in a traumatized and survival state.
[SPEAKER_00]: And my body feels better.
[SPEAKER_00]: Even though I'm like, yeah, I wish I could do more on less sick.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd like, I don't get colds.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't even have one culture in this hunter.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't really get sick the way that I used to.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're to be in this meat suit.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're here.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're also, even like with the point of being sick, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: You're building that immunity because you're really taking care of yourself because you're right when you're so go-go-go.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're more likely to, you know, get a sickness, catch in it and you're just like, oh, whatever, I'll get over it.
[SPEAKER_01]: But sometimes it's like, huh, I wonder what else is going on, like, internally.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm maybe I'm doing too much.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, it's just naps and cozy trips.
[SPEAKER_01]: Gosh, I love a nap at a cozy time.
[SPEAKER_01]: I appreciate it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm happy with that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love a daily walk, though.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like I need to get my steps in to otherwise, if I don't get fresh air.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, okay, this is not good, but I have nothing I love more than a movie and cozy with tea.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's like my favorite thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: You got what you hear a cast for a walk?
[SPEAKER_01]: Not yet.
[SPEAKER_01]: We've taken them in a stroller.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll send you guys a video, yes, I will after this call, I'm going to send you some of them in a stroller.
[SPEAKER_01]: They actually kind of fight in the stroller, it's funny because Bessell likes to go to the very front and soul, like my eyes and get scared.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I remember we turned them around, because we're like, maybe it's too much for soul, she might be getting like overstimulated.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Bessell, I noticed when he, when we turned around, he like hit her in the face, and we're like, because I, we were like, he's saying, like, this is my time, and we're called.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're all going back.
[SPEAKER_00]: I miss my sweet bed, so we have all the land.
[SPEAKER_00]: His twirls, his little twirls, my little twirls.
[SPEAKER_01]: And when he saw a skampy space, that was the funniest thing when Skampy came in.
[SPEAKER_01]: When you, when you were watching him, and it was just like, he was like, who is this?
[SPEAKER_01]: And then they're like peddling.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to send you that video.
[SPEAKER_01]: We do want to try the leash thing because they do have harnesses in a leash.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just curious because the moment they see an unfamiliar space they're like, they're not moving.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're just like on the ground.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think I'm going to teach her about in the backpack.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have like a mesh backpack.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is not ergonomic in the slightest.
[SPEAKER_00]: However, I feel like even like I agree, we also have hawks in the neighborhood and I don't have like a thunder jacket or anything for him.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm like, I'm not letting him die.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just don't trust that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Even though he's pretty chunky, so I don't know how it's anyway.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you could potentially do like backpack for crystal backpack for you bring the kids out maybe for a little food stroll make a nice I think we'll do that, especially if we if we have a car and we want to do a little bit of hike but like we obviously can't do with a stroller just take them on a trail and and they'll be safe in the backpack I would really love to do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I still harness them in the backpack just in case cause like, sure, it's a wily guy.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's, I find that he's, so for context for, I guess listeners, trep is an orange cat and he is, as orange cats do, a very chaotic man.
[SPEAKER_00]: So like, I find that he's a lot more calm, post, walk.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm excited that it's now spring because it means that I'll get sure about a Kayla's hair.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it means he'll be able to be a bit more calm.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to go to the cool.
[SPEAKER_00]: It might be fun for the kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: We love doing that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think one of our things, like the most fun we have with them because they're indoor is like we want to integrate them in a safe way because they love fresh air even if we open up the balcony and just put the mesh screen.
[SPEAKER_01]: They are like pressed up against it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, oh my gosh, these poor little guys, you know, because all they see is the apartment.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, okay, I get it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I get it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, we'll get you out there.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we open the bathroom door and trims like a whole new world like he's like gusting down the door.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's ready.
[SPEAKER_00]: We open the front door.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like racing up and down the apartment hallway and I'm like, oh no, our neighbors.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because like I've talked to other people in there, this is now a cat podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry, but I've talked to other people and like their cats are not like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're like the doors open.
[SPEAKER_00]: They have no interest.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, that's never been my experience.
[SPEAKER_01]: So same with these two, they're if we open a door, I've always got to be cautious.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're not running through my legs, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Because they love it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I could talk about cats all day, honestly.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're a little bit weak.
[SPEAKER_01]: They are little beans.
[SPEAKER_01]: First of all, thank you both so much for joining the room for us conversation.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I had it, like a couple of fun cues.
[SPEAKER_01]: More like a rapid fire situation.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like there's gotta go.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm at a rapid fire, too.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll go on and on.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I saw a creator post this question, and I was like, this is pretty interesting one.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I really like music.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love doing a little deep dive into albums and trying to find out the meaning.
[SPEAKER_01]: But this question was, if you had to recommend one song to someone, that also represents you, what would you choose?
[SPEAKER_01]: What would the song be?
[SPEAKER_00]: Skeletons by the AAS.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not listening to that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, honestly, it's really, it's like very, it's like at the spirit, but I, I perceive that song as like a song about dedication and care.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's very, really, I'm lyrics, it's more about vibes, but my summation of it, it's like, it's about dedication and care in, like, putting your all into something.
[SPEAKER_00]: The second one for me, probably the stars, all my stars aligned by St. Vincent, it's like a song about in my perspective, like hoping for the worst and like doing everything you can to make a best situation happening, not it may not happen, but still again like hoping for like the best
[SPEAKER_01]: Hmm, I love this because it's also just giving me the songstatt to my playlist because I think I've heard the same Vincent one not skeletons, but I'm gonna I'm gonna add them
[SPEAKER_00]: My number one is your love is my love by Whitney Houston.
[SPEAKER_00]: From her heartbreak hotel.
[SPEAKER_00]: I believe it's with her heartbreak hotel album.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I just love that song.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just points to how powerful love can be in your lifetime.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I have a really good memory of wearing it on my stereo with my friends when we were kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it reminds me of a time when I just felt really
[SPEAKER_00]: free.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're like a good, like, shared.
[SPEAKER_04]: We're going to bring with, like, a really good friend.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then my second one is beautiful pain.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh yeah, M&M and Cia.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, right, I am the biggest anime fan, I know it's controversial, but I just really have always connected to a lot of the lyrics that I really like the song Beautiful Pain because it's one of his more positive songs and it talks about like taking your making your pain into something that's beautiful.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yesterday was the tornado wound and today's like the morning after you were all this morning.
[SPEAKER_00]: Mine are a little bit slower and a little bit sad, but they're good.
[SPEAKER_00]: I also like have to especially shout out my GoPro, E. Our GoPro pretty.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, like let us not forget Britney Spears.
[SPEAKER_00]: Never forgot Britney Spears.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like Angel beat you and I could have a whole super podcast about our love for Britney Spears, but happy shout out.
[UNKNOWN]: But
[SPEAKER_01]: The song mood rang by Brittany.
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you heard it?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I mean, I know.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not even a question.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're like, yeah, absolutely.
[SPEAKER_01]: You've heard all the unreleased tracks probably from like original doll era.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's going to be a whole other conversation we have for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Actually, I'm going to voice note both of you.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is the Astro Chat because our conversations and I was actually asking Crystallies.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm curious to see what you two are going to say.
[SPEAKER_01]: Add a dinner, which sign are you trusting to order for the table?
[SPEAKER_01]: For real.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what I said.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like they're foodies.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's for us.
[SPEAKER_00]: They, they left a box.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was in my earlier thing and I sat towards at the same time.
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, now I tend towards for sure period.
[SPEAKER_00]: They know what good food is and they're rounded and they're approach to ordering.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would say I was thinking about dietary restrictions and
[SPEAKER_00]: a burgo knowing everybody's stuff.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I agree in terms of deliciousness.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, of course.
[SPEAKER_00]: And George Man.
[SPEAKER_01]: And maybe it works too because the tourists is an earth sign.
[SPEAKER_01]: So maybe they're keeping in mind of that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like a burgo of so organized, but the tourists has that part of them being so grounded.
[SPEAKER_01]: On a road trip, which sign is DJ?
[SPEAKER_01]: Who is in charge of the playlist?
[SPEAKER_02]: or a Gemini, but actually no, no Gemini, no, I would say a satch.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know a satch.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's no satch that I can think of that way.
[SPEAKER_02]: How am I saying this?
[SPEAKER_02]: Every satch I know has good taste in music.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a good, yeah, I would say so too, actually.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like Gemini is too erratic.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I feel like I'm constantly like switching songs for the done, like it worked.
[SPEAKER_00]: What would you say?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm stuck between Pisces or Leo.
[SPEAKER_00]: Leo.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Interesting.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just feel like Leo has a very strong point of view.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like Leo's would just play songs that they like the most.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, you know what I was thinking of, so my cousin is a Leo, and he's like one of the best people I know I love him to death, he's like my brother, but he makes me laugh with his songs because it's kind of to Kayla's point.
[SPEAKER_01]: If he's playing his song and he's like, this is the best song ever.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, this is just a very, like, you kind of like, if you're the one who's the playlist, some people are like, okay, and he's like, isn't this so good?
[SPEAKER_00]: I guess what I'm going to wrote you for someone I want to know more about then.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: So what I want out of it is to know more about the person.
[SPEAKER_00]: But like I guess if it's a group rope, if you want to think that everybody the way.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm telling you, a satch can make a lit playlist.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, and you trust them because they have that like a assertiveness too.
[SPEAKER_01]: So they're like, yeah, yeah, you, you're like, you're, you're taking ownership and you, you got this for the long trip.
[SPEAKER_01]: Crystal say, Crystal, I think said satch for most of them.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think the first one, I'm like, which sackin' are you trusting to order in the table?
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like satch.
[SPEAKER_01]: Which road chair, which sign?
[SPEAKER_01]: Satch?
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, okay, no.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a doctor's class.
[SPEAKER_02]: Topicals license, Satch for the road chair.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I feel like Libra would also make a good playlist because you'd be thinking about the common collective.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, what does everybody plan?
[SPEAKER_00]: the mood, don't it?
[SPEAKER_00]: How do we keep everybody up and at them?
[SPEAKER_00]: How do we make sure nobody also sleep at the wheel?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, let's go.
[SPEAKER_01]: Balance, you got balance, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: So, might be like certain points.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're like, this, this, this scenery is feeling a little nostalgic.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have it time to achieve what we're going to play.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now we're feeling a little
[SPEAKER_01]: emotional.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then it's like, okay, but then what I, I don't know, we're going to play a little EDM track is why not, you know, that would be my playlist, it's everywhere.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that would also be like an absolute delight.
[SPEAKER_00]: Keep me on my toes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm definitely not driving.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm not driving.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I will agree.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would never trust I'd pass ours, like, let's see a
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, this is the last astronaut chat question.
[SPEAKER_01]: But if you're in a crisis, which sign are you calling for advice?
[SPEAKER_01]: There'll be there, you know, the reliable, they're gonna help you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it's like, because I can work on moon.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I feel like Virgo's are pragmatic and they offer action-based solutions.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what I value.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was gonna say what kind of crisis.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just think there's no crisis where a Virgo can't help because they're going to look at it from all sides.
[SPEAKER_00]: Be pragmatic, leave emotion out of it, and then they're going to get you a thought slowly based.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's they bring up daily Jenna.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but if I'm in emotional crisis,
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, isn't that the great kind of grounding because you don't have someone that's coming back at you with emotion, you have someone grounded.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's always like, you want a solution that's action oriented, I would probably call it Virgo.
[SPEAKER_00]: But that makes sense, because my, my own sign is in Virgo.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that's what I want when I, in Creightsems.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I've probably called, I've want somebody who's probably cap.
[SPEAKER_00]: Really, yeah, it's like just saying because like for the most brand pretty pragmatic I know to do, but I just need to be supported in the action, okay, okay, I love that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's a good because sometimes like I was even thinking maybe areas, but I wonder if that's almost too.
[SPEAKER_01]: you need that groundedness as well because depending on the crisis like you said it could be more emotional crisis or it could even be a scenario like car breaks down you have like no one to go to your stuff like who's the person you can call.
[SPEAKER_00]: If I have the tools and if I have YouTube, no problem we're fixing the car.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just need someone to be like I'm here for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: You caught this
[SPEAKER_00]: If I call someone and them in crisis and like I've been wronged or to justice issue, I want someone to be upset for me.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're like, that's insane.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't believe that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I love that fire, anger, energy.
[SPEAKER_00]: It makes me feel validated.
[SPEAKER_00]: But...
[SPEAKER_00]: overall in a crisis situation like I always think about our friend Bailey.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're always like I don't know which we had to hide a body we'd call Bailey because Bailey would be like tapping on a computer in the first five seconds and she'd be like this is where you go this is what you do Lella La.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sending a door dash to your door with these items and these supplies just like guys remember Bailey's like I have a story to that's already available to you.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's
[SPEAKER_00]: and five and maybe six.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here is where they're organized.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is what you're doing.
[SPEAKER_00]: There is a used car that I've hidden away in this story June.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it does need you gas you find that in door six like everything is ready.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, she's like or or she or if it's not already ready.
[SPEAKER_00]: She has a plan.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's like, she'll hang up.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's like, oh, you're back.
[SPEAKER_00]: She doesn't.
[SPEAKER_00]: She doesn't give me 10 minutes.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's like, oh, you're back.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hands up literally in less than 10 minutes.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, all right, you really have three different options of how to solve this problem, which one do you want?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to go through them one by one and you're like,
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, got it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, good.
[SPEAKER_00]: Who would you call, like, which zodiac sign would it be for you?
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm trying to think.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've initially said Aries.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's what I was thinking of because I feel like I also feel like I have good relationships with Aries, like, Libras and Aries can vibe.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I need that like fiery push because like I feel like me and a crisis can sometimes start to over thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm not as like the doer.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, okay, I need someone I'll be pushed.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think Eris.
[SPEAKER_01]: What do Chris, Chris Olser?
[SPEAKER_01]: Crystals?
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, what did she say for that?
[SPEAKER_01]: I think she said sadge.
[SPEAKER_01]: But she, she's um, still sadge.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think she's also, she's the Pisces Moon Caprizing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Interesting.
[SPEAKER_00]: Pisces Moon is a curve ball.
[SPEAKER_01]: I could see it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I see the Pisces Moon on her.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Our like a curve ball in the sense of like you're not expecting it.
[SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, Pisces Moon is great.
[SPEAKER_00]: a little dreamer energy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: That trying to think if they're, if they're word to be a sign that which has felt all three things, goods are ordering for a table, good in a crisis, good at the offs.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like when the answer actually be sad as like a through land through all of them, because like is she right in that point?
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what I'm wondering.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's only one zodiac sign.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like a do-all, that's go at all the time.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh!
[SPEAKER_00]: Wait, good new crisis, urban food for the tables.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're box table.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like making a playlist really hard.
[SPEAKER_01]: not that you don't know because a sage would be good in a crisis too.
[SPEAKER_01]: What I like about a sage is I know they're very keen on like freedom to a lot of them tend to be very dreamers and spiritual thinking like Miley Cyrus is a sage.
[SPEAKER_01]: We have brands of sage.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a good one, that's a good one.
[SPEAKER_00]: Which one would hit all three?
[SPEAKER_01]: Crystal will be so happy if I just tell her now.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, you're the goat of a, it's surely like I know.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think sadged might be the answer.
[SPEAKER_01]: Try.
[SPEAKER_01]: I do love a sadge.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love, because I love, I do love fire signs.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like we present general.
[SPEAKER_01]: I very drawn to fire signs.
[SPEAKER_01]: They like that, so yeah, could be.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that Gemini, I was never in the conversation.
[SPEAKER_00]: You got a Scorpio, frankly, and that's okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: A lot of it was, we'll have to think of more questions because it was only, it was three.
[SPEAKER_01]: So there's, there's so much more words like I need a Gemini I need to Scorpio.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love you too.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for this lovely chat.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's still early for us over here.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to go to West Van today.
[SPEAKER_01]: Actually, far so we're going to explore.
[SPEAKER_02]: Bye!
[SPEAKER_01]: We haven't been yet.
[SPEAKER_02]: We haven't done West Van or like,
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, oh, it's, oh, man.
[SPEAKER_00]: When I was moving to Whistler, I spent some time in West Van in this mansion on the side of a cliff.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was literally on the side of the cliff.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was built into the side of the cliff.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was wild.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was like a friend of her friend's parents' house and the parents were like vacationing somewhere so we stayed there for a few nights.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's really stunning, great views.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for having us on your podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for asking us a couple of questions.
[SPEAKER_00]: And for being vulnerable with us as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: And thanks for listening to us, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: One of the things that's hard for us to stop.
[SPEAKER_00]: I literally charge myself, yettax when I do the end of like when I charge my clients.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, and I'm just gonna give you a little discount because of my yapping.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I call it the Yaptax.
[SPEAKER_00]: So sorry for waving my machine around and not talking to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we love you.
[SPEAKER_00]: We love you both.
[SPEAKER_00]: And to see you, give crystal or best.
[SPEAKER_00]: And the babies.
[SPEAKER_01]: Of course, yeah, I will send you that photo of the Schroler.
[SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, when we are in Ontario, I was telling Kayla this.
[SPEAKER_01]: When we have some more time, we want to really get together with you too.
[SPEAKER_01]: And just haven't dinner or something.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was big catch up.
[SPEAKER_01]: And of course, if you're ever finding yourself in Vancouver, you know, just hit me up, I'll be really nice.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we'll go to Bellwitz the next time you, yes, that would be really, really nice, a lot of Bellwitz hang, I love that.