[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, I'm Aaron and I'm Jennifer.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're the host of the Marge after God podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: Our desire is to help you cultivate a marriage that chances boldly after God's will for your life together.
[SPEAKER_03]: We want to invite you to subscribe to our show wherever you watch or listen.
[SPEAKER_00]: We are so glad you're here and we pray that our discussion truly blesses you and your marriage.
[SPEAKER_03]: Welcome to the Marge after God podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: Everyone, welcome back to the Mirage Ever God podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're on week 23 of our 30 week marriage devotional series.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we're getting into some awesome stuff.
[SPEAKER_00]: We just finished a little mini series within this series on prayer.
[SPEAKER_00]: But now today we're going to be talking about unity in your marriage.
[SPEAKER_00]: But not just in your marriage, but our unity in the body of Christ as a marriage.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, before we get into that, I just want to invite you as usual to hit that like button, make sure you subscribe.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you haven't got a copy of our husband after God Wife or for God Devotionals, that's what the series is based on.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can get them at shop.marriageafterGod.com, that's shop.marriageafterGod.com, pick up your copies today, not only will you get this content for free, but having those books on hand, you get the answer to the questions, have the journey on the pages, you guys can do this together at home as you go through this with us.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, we just want to encourage you to get those.
[SPEAKER_03]: Awesome.
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, let's jump into this week's content, which we've mentioned this in the previous episodes.
[SPEAKER_03]: Sometimes the chapters don't line up perfectly, but it's okay, like they're not the exact same topic.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: So for this week, they connect.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, that's what I was going to say.
[SPEAKER_03]: So for this week, they definitely work and we've to support each other.
[SPEAKER_03]: So we're diving into the power of unity and Christ.
[SPEAKER_03]: And at the end, we're going to talk about the gifts of the Spirit.
[SPEAKER_03]: So you'll see how that thing worked together.
[SPEAKER_03]: But we're going to be focusing on how being unified and marriage helps us to use our gifts, to be able to spread the gospel and to do God's work.
[SPEAKER_03]: So.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, some really cool about this episode is we're going to be talking about unity as a marriage within the body of Christ, but the connotation is goes both ways.
[SPEAKER_00]: The unity of having Christ together, and then when we walk together and work together in the body of Christ, because that's what God desires for us.
[SPEAKER_03]: So sometimes we'll start out with like a definition of a word just to give it some meaning, but I feel like we all know what unity means.
[SPEAKER_00]: It means goodness.
[SPEAKER_03]: So we're going to start on the flip-flop side of that, which is the, you know, what happens when you're not unified.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was just going to say, I feel like this is for a lot of times, unfortunately, this is the default, like that we are in isolation, rather than complete unity, and maybe we've even told ourselves, like, oh, we're connected, but really we're walking in isolation.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a danger in isolation, and generally, like when you isolate marriage, but generally in life when you are trying to do this on your own, it's not because, it's not how
[SPEAKER_00]: God said this from the very beginning.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not good that man should be alone and so he made for him I helped me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Made fit for him So I just wanted to read a quote real quick.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a bunch of quotes in here from actually the husband after God devotional and the wife I forgot devotional.
[SPEAKER_00]: So let me read that and then we'll move on to some scripture I says this from the husband after God devotional.
[SPEAKER_00]: Your enemy loves to encourage isolation He's like a lion stalking the young gazelle that strays just a little too far from the herd isolation and darkness are a breeding ground for sin and death
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's such true.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like when we isolate ourselves, that's when we are vulnerable.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're vulnerable.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: So for scripture to support this, we're going to be looking at Proverbs 181, it says whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire.
[SPEAKER_03]: He breaks out against all sound judgment.
[SPEAKER_03]: And I mean, I mean, we could literally all raise our hand for being people who do this or have done this in the past.
[SPEAKER_03]: But when we are when we isolate ourselves, it's usually because we're
[SPEAKER_00]: something we're not interested in other people knowing about or speaking or speaking into, right?
[SPEAKER_03]: Like you have people around you who might say, hey, I don't think you should be doing that, or hey, you know, why are you doing that?
[SPEAKER_03]: And if we don't want to hear those things typically, we will start to pull away.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I know some people will be thinking like, so I was just telling everyone everything I'm doing all the time.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, what we're talking about, and you know this, everyone that's listening knows when they're being isolated when they isolate themselves.
[SPEAKER_00]: When they separate themselves just far enough where everyone's at arms length.
[SPEAKER_00]: And no one actually truly knows what's going on in their hearts and their minds and their marriages and their homes and their lives.
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's never any ability for anyone to be able to say anything of meaning or depth to you because you're just distant.
[SPEAKER_00]: So maybe you're
[SPEAKER_00]: you're available.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you're there, you're present, but you're distant.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're not actually connected.
[SPEAKER_00]: So when Proverbs talks about isolation, when the book of wisdom and the Bible and the Bible talks about isolating ourselves, that's what it's talking about that we're disconnecting ourselves from the body of Christ that we're not being plugged in.
[SPEAKER_00]: First Peter 5-8 says, be so reminded, be watchful, you're adversary, the devil
[SPEAKER_00]: or a marriage to DeBauer, and we've all experienced this in our merges.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's familiar?
[SPEAKER_03]: We've experienced it for sure.
[SPEAKER_03]: And if you guys listening to our familiar with our testimony for those first few years of our marriage,
[SPEAKER_03]: We struggled with some hardships and it started with physical intimacy, but that quickly spilled over into like the stress of that just spilled over into every aspect of our relationship and our marriage and it also because of the stirring of stress, it revealed things about like sin in our life and ways of being that we had to
[SPEAKER_03]: address and be confronted by.
[SPEAKER_03]: But I know that for me, like my response to it was by isolating.
[SPEAKER_03]: I wanted to pull away because it felt uncomfortable.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyone to see me and we're going through it.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, it was there was shame.
[SPEAKER_03]: There was embarrassment.
[SPEAKER_03]: I found it very hard to talk.
[SPEAKER_03]: about, and then because of that action, that way of being that posture that I had, it actually led to feeling really lonely and married, which is such an interesting, ironic thing, because we're not lonely anymore, right?
[SPEAKER_03]: We're together, but because we were disconnected from each other and from others, I just felt like, I don't know.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I feel like that loneliness trickles down, and we're going to talk about this in that
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a power and a truth in when we are kind of pulling away from God because God's trying to get all of our hearts We're like, I just don't want to deal with that right now, and then we end up pulling away from other Christians And then we end up pulling away from each other and then like the loneliness just trickles down the disconnect trickles down And I would love to say that we've 100% figured this out and we're like we just always make ourselves known But whenever we get into hardships like there's a temptation always
[SPEAKER_00]: To be like, you know, let's just keep this to ourselves, or I'm just going to keep it inside myself and we're not going to see Calb.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not going to ask for advice.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not going to seek prayer.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not going to be honest.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's something that we have to fight against.
[SPEAKER_00]: And again, there's, there's times and we should in times that it's not necessary.
[SPEAKER_00]: We can actually work with, we're good at ourselves, but that it's, it's a posture of isolation of I'm just going to pretend like I don't even know who I really am.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, we weren't.
[SPEAKER_03]: We weren't thriving.
[SPEAKER_03]: It wasn't actually until we plugged into a marriage group at church that things started to turn around for us and just in going like just showing up and being present in that started that process of being unified again and being connected again to each other and then to the body and feeling supported in the things that we are going through in marriage.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then finding people that actually love us anyway, like, oh, you have, you know, crappy situation, you're married.
[SPEAKER_00]: So do we?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, but we love you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's, let's pray for this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's figure this out together.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you're not alone.
[SPEAKER_00]: So choosing isolation puts your marriage and your walk with Christ and danger.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, like that quote from it has been after God, like you're stepping your separating yourself away from the herd.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're making yourself even more vulnerable to the enemy and to the attacks of the enemy and to deception and to lies and all the things that a believer should be, you know, protected from.
[SPEAKER_03]: and trying to be autonomous, trying to live without accountability.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's not where God wants us to be.
[SPEAKER_03]: And we know that because His design requires that participation and unity within the body.
[SPEAKER_03]: That's why He shows us in His word.
[SPEAKER_00]: And as we go through this, we're gonna emphasize this more and more how important this is.
[SPEAKER_00]: We can't, it just can't be just us and God.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like God desires us to be a part of his body.
[SPEAKER_03]: Do you wanna talk about maybe why people isolate themselves so that those listening could maybe, like maybe they're not noticing, well maybe you're not noticing that you have pulled away or you are isolating yourself from being connected to your spouse or being connected to the body of believers.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, the first one that you mentioned it, sin and shame, uh, when we're walking in unrepentant sin, when there's something in our life, we don't want to give up, we don't want to speak to.
[SPEAKER_00]: You also don't want anyone to see it, so you're like, you just, you avoid being too close because you don't want someone to be like, hey, actually, what are you doing there?
[SPEAKER_00]: Why is that happening?
[SPEAKER_00]: That should not be there.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not right for a believer.
[SPEAKER_00]: So,
[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe you're stuck in some sand and you have this shame and so you're like no one can know because they're not going to understand.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're not going to forgive me.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're they're going to you know condemn me.
[SPEAKER_03]: Some other ones are when you fill overwhelmed by life stepping out to do you know a Bible study or even showing up to church regularly that can be a challenge.
[SPEAKER_00]: Especially when you're already overwhelmed, that's like, I just want to hide some people and they're overwhelmed, want to have almost like a false community.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I need someone just to distract me for like a distraction.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so I have all these people over here that I go and that we have this hobby, we have this thing, which is not, I'm not saying it's bad.
[SPEAKER_00]: But instead of having a true depth of like, let's lighting someone in, it's a good one avoidance in the overwhelm.
[SPEAKER_00]: But then some people, like, I'm just gonna,
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll see you next year.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, they're just high back.
[SPEAKER_00]: No motivation to socialize.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like being lazy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like at this to much energy and trying to connect to.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, requires too much work.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, don't feel like themselves wrestling with health or weight.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's another thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: You probably have a little bit of shame in there.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like feeling like not wanting to be seen for where you're truly at.
[SPEAKER_03]: fear of opening up because it fills risky or you're wondering, you know, how are there's going to respond to the things that I'm sharing so that can fill overwhelming or just being a person who wants to avoid any sort of tension or conflict and you think this is one's deceptive because you think that by showing up
[SPEAKER_03]: you're going to experience that, but really you probably especially in marriage will experience more conflict, more tension if you're not being held accountable, you're not participating and being supported by the body.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, mental stress and sickness like depression, those types of things like those can be heavy and it could feel like a barrier to wanting to step out and come close to people.
[SPEAKER_03]: past hurts like things didn't go well the last time I did it or you had some past experiences that kind of left you feeling like I don't want to do that again.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well and maybe you've had past relationships that you trusted and when trying to do this.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right and they hurt you.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's because that happens.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: But what I encourage me here is like going to
[SPEAKER_03]: this last one, kind of ties into all of them, but spiritual dryness.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like if you're not personally walking with God and being close and abiding in Him, you're probably not going to want to do anything extra.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I feel like this one should have been the first one.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, probably.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it kind of leads to a lot of those things.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I said, when you feel distant from God, you often, that translates to almost every relationship.
[SPEAKER_00]: So this is where being married is a benefit because you have someone in your life who can ask questions, keep you accountable and do things.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what they should be.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like the Bible literally calls the wife the helper.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that should be one of the roles but as a couple and spiritually and emotionally and we're supposed to be able to do that for each other and hold each other accountable.
[SPEAKER_03]: one because we're with each other so often like we do notice when, you know, the spouse doesn't feel connected or you know when you can step in and encourage your spouse to get out of that slump or whatever's holding them back from wanting to participate.
[SPEAKER_03]: When I say participate, I'm referring to, you know, showing up to church on Sunday, maybe joining that Bible study or just having a fellowship, real relationships or maybe you guys are doing dinners together and things like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, let's say in your spouse's intimate should be the first person to recognize if you're off.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_03]: I feel like you've done this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: You've done that very well over the years with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I appreciate that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you have, too.
[SPEAKER_00]: You've pointed out to me that there's seasons of my life that I seem like I'm not in the same pattern, same routine that you're like, okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: What's going on here?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's something that we can see in each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we're going to go, we want to talk about God's design for Mary, just not just that we're unified together.
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, marriage is a, is such a microcosm, it's a small picture like this two people representing something so much bigger, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: The wife represents the church, the bride of Christ, the husband represents Christ himself.
[SPEAKER_00]: But what that picture is, it's a representation of the church in Christ.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the unity we have in our marriage, then trickles over to the unity we as a manager to have in the body.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's how God designed it.
[SPEAKER_00]: He desires that we are a part of His body.
[SPEAKER_00]: There is no, you know, me and God, and we're good.
[SPEAKER_00]: And the church can be over there, and I'm over here.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So here's another quote from Husband of God.
[SPEAKER_00]: It says, God desires that your marriage would be an active and valuable part of His body.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not only to contribute to the welfare and strength of your brothers and sisters, but also to be encouraged, strengthen and build up as a couple.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the goal is this reciprocation like the desires that we as a couple are totally connected to the body of Christ so that we can impart, talk about our gifts, our gifts, resources, time, talents, energies to bless the church but then to also receive that.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, as believers, you and your wife, you and your husband, you're not separate from the rest of the body of Christ.
[SPEAKER_03]: I know this is a weird picture, but as we were going through notes, I was thinking like, we're not like our marriages are not individually representing a bunch of little Christ bodies.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: There's one body.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's one body.
[SPEAKER_03]: There's one body and we need to acknowledge that there's only one body in that we're all parts of that one body.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, but we're a picture.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're a picture of what that mystery is.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so community true fellowship is supposed to be bi-directional.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's two-directional.
[SPEAKER_00]: It goes both ways.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not just I'm constantly sucking and receiving from the body of Christ.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like always needing.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I should be the, it should be that my heart, our heart, is fostered towards like how can we serve God's church.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then when we need it, there's a, I think it's in first second Corinthians, Paul talks about this.
[SPEAKER_00]: He talks about, he's talking to one of the churches and them giving out of their abundance to a church that is in need.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he says, so that when they have abundance and you have need, they can do the same for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's this, hey, you might be able to help in a certain way right now of that, that someone can't help you.
[SPEAKER_00]: But there might be a time when you'll need that exact help.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, which we've experienced that exact thing going to that marriage group.
[SPEAKER_03]: I remember feeling like just hopeless and like frustrated.
[SPEAKER_03]: You used to think that we were walking through.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: But then people were being vulnerable, opening up and sharing.
[SPEAKER_03]: And I feel like we were able to be a part of that and participate in prayer for them.
[SPEAKER_03]: And then several weeks later, we had the opportunity to then share about things we were going through.
[SPEAKER_03]: They were there for us, and so, I mean, whatever circumstances you're facing, it's so good to have a community, a group of people who are like-minded and Christ that can support each other and your marriages.
[SPEAKER_00]: First Corinthians 1226, put that this way.
[SPEAKER_00]: When one member suffers, all suffer together.
[SPEAKER_00]: when one is honored, I'll celebrate, and this is just a beautiful picture of the body having this unified art together.
[SPEAKER_00]: So this isn't about communal living, like we're all in a communion somewhere.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's about having a mind and a spirit that strives towards unity, that we have a like-mindedness with the church, that we want to be on the same page, in the same mindset towards the same goals,
[SPEAKER_03]: Totally.
[SPEAKER_03]: Hebrews 10 24 through 25 says, let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works not neglecting to meet together.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, Hebrews, I believe Paul wrote Hebrews.
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't actually know who wrote it, but this is some people have this desire to pull away from the body of Christ and say they don't need the body of Christ.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is a lie from the devil.
[SPEAKER_00]: God says, you actually need to, not just need it, but you are actually a part of the body.
[SPEAKER_00]: So in doing that, that's like a part of your body right now, wanted to decide to walk away.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like my finger just fell off.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, oh, that's not normal.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's actually how the Bible explains the body of Christ as an actual human body that's held together by sinus and muscles and bones.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the heart should be like, no, I'm in the body.
[SPEAKER_00]: Am I functioning right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Am I working right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Am I using what God's given me for the body?
[SPEAKER_00]: So Jesus cares so much about this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, further emphasizing he cares so much about our unity in the body in fact that he prays for our unity And so why don't you read this in John 17 this is one of the most Famous prayers in the Bible is the high-previously priestly prayer of Jesus and this is a part of it John chapter 17 verses 20 to 23
[SPEAKER_03]: I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word that they may all be one just as you, Father, are in me and I in you that they also may be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.
[SPEAKER_03]: The glory that you have given me, I have given to them that they may be one even as we are one.
[SPEAKER_03]: I in them and you in me that they may become perfectly one so that the world may know that
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you want some proof that God wants you to be part of the body of Christ, this is Jesus' own words, he's saying perfectly one.
[SPEAKER_00]: He wants us to be perfectly one with each other and in him.
[SPEAKER_00]: The way the same way God, Jesus is perfectly one with the Father.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's exactly what He says.
[SPEAKER_00]: So not only does He call us to union in the body, but also in our marriages.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that same oneness in the marriage, again, it's different because my wife is the only person I'm going to be one with the way I am.
[SPEAKER_00]: But that same level of commitment and unity, that the church is supposed to have together.
[SPEAKER_03]: And it's a powerful and necessary picture of the greater unity that we share together together in the body of Christ, which is so cool.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so just as we can't live separate from our spouse, like I can't live forever away from my wife and claim to be married.
[SPEAKER_00]: And say, oh yeah, we're close.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're unified, and yet we don't share the same home.
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't share the same bed.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not talking about people who have to be gone a lot.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's different.
[SPEAKER_00]: But even in that, when they come back, that they are connected in one and unified, that's the same level that God desires, that we can't live in seclusion from the body of believers.
[SPEAKER_00]: We can't exclude them from our lives.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the unity of one is of believers.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you and your spouse is what Jesus tells us to do, we're called to it.
[SPEAKER_00]: He tells the and he also says that the world will believe that God sent Jesus when they see the way we are one.
[SPEAKER_03]: Which is like, it's like a testimony.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like the most major testimony.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's crazy.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's awful.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a witness.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's what we're here to do is to show the world who Christ is.
[SPEAKER_00]: What God is doing and one of the main ways we do that Jesus says is by being one.
[SPEAKER_00]: Being in the body of Christ, walking with other believers, even when it's hard, even when they hurt your feelings, even when they sit against you.
[SPEAKER_00]: The Bible talks about these things over and over and over again.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just like in your marriage, even when you are having hardship, even when your spouse sends against you, even when it's not easy, for better or for worse, till death to you part.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what marriage is about.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's actually what the body of Christ is about, that we are a part of that body forever.
[SPEAKER_00]: in Christ.
[SPEAKER_03]: And the most important part of all of this is he died for our unity that we might be one with him and the Father.
[SPEAKER_03]: This is the gift of reconciliation, Ephesians 2, 14 through 16 says this, for he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his body of flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances that he might create in himself.
[SPEAKER_03]: One new man in place of the two, so making peace and might reconcile as both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the right, this ineffisions, the whole book of Ephesians is essentially about the idea that God took the Jews, the chosen people of God, that Christ came through in the Gentiles, who are not a part of the chosen people.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's like, hey, in Christ, they are one.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a new man.
[SPEAKER_00]: But that's the same picture in the church that we,
[SPEAKER_00]: wall of hostility that the body should be so connected that we recognize that it's not you and me it's Christ that we are in one in Christ.
[SPEAKER_03]: Real quick let's just talk about how the unity in marriage but also in the body of Christ benefits the marriage relationship like what are the things that you and I have experienced that like this is true this happens and it's so good for us.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, we mentioned a little bit ago that the fact that we're not alone, you get to see me.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have this knowledge of each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have, you know,
[SPEAKER_03]: uh... ecclesiasties says you know a quarter three strands like we are together were stronger together than we are a part uh... together with Christ we can get get through anything uh... we have support in the hard times or even just like they're even hard times maybe they're expected times like when i when i think of like postpartum or you know or they do it like doing hard things times of extra people on the other people on your team other marriages who come alongside you and say
[SPEAKER_00]: That's important.
[SPEAKER_00]: Being reminded of what is true.
[SPEAKER_00]: All of us, every single one of us are susceptible to lies.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: No one is immune.
[SPEAKER_03]: Also, every single one of us have a desire to know where we belong.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, we humans, we love belonging.
[SPEAKER_03]: Belonging to a family belonging to a community.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so, I think belonging is a huge benefit.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's actually, I think, a really big one, I think, especially these days, there's a lot of people that don't know where they fit and they're trying to find a spot.
[SPEAKER_00]: But in the body of Christ, you do belong.
[SPEAKER_00]: Breaking down barriers through confronting things instead of avoiding them, having people growth comes through.
[SPEAKER_00]: As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another that when we come together.
[SPEAKER_00]: we rub off on each other, we rub against each other, we sharpen each other, we sometimes bruise each other, but when we do that, it makes us better.
[SPEAKER_00]: We are not just avoiding the hard conversations, but we're letting them happen.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's good.
[SPEAKER_03]: you have another quote here from husband after god it says in today's culture it is very acceptable to live a secret in private life nobody allowed to judge you or tell you what to do this way of living is the way the world lives not the way followers of Jesus live so I know we kind of touch on this life yeah proverbs 18 one one he isolates himself this is this is sad this is a hard thing that culture like in a time then we're when they were the most connected
[SPEAKER_00]: We're also the most isolated.
[SPEAKER_00]: People can be in they can show off all the best parts of their lives.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's hard because it looks like they are happy.
[SPEAKER_03]: It looks like they have their life put together.
[SPEAKER_03]: It looks like they're walking with God.
[SPEAKER_03]: But are they?
[SPEAKER_03]: Are we?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I'm sure everyone has a story like this, where they know what couple who seemed so happy, walking with God, serving, and then seemingly out of nowhere, they announce they're getting a divorce.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it just, it's a shock.
[SPEAKER_00]: Every time it's like, what?
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't see this coming you said, you hear people say, or what could have gone wrong?
[SPEAKER_00]: They seem so happy.
[SPEAKER_00]: All these things we've heard that we've felt them, heard them seem this.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's always a shocking, but in reality, what happened was something was going on.
[SPEAKER_03]: They were hiding their thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they were hiding it.
[SPEAKER_00]: The reason everyone's like, I didn't see this coming is because no one knew.
[SPEAKER_00]: They only showed this facade.
[SPEAKER_03]: So if there was pain, if there was her or brokenness, there was sin.
[SPEAKER_03]: They weren't bringing it to others to help them navigate that to walk through it, to pray for them, to champion alongside them, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: What's amazing about walking in close relationship with other believers.
[SPEAKER_00]: is even when, let's say, you don't just come out and say, I'm dealing this thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because sometimes we just don't even think about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, this thing's happening.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have a way of being that needs to be addressed.
[SPEAKER_00]: But when you walk with someone closely, then they see it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they're like, hey, I kind of noticed this pattern.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: What's going on?
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you're like, oh, crap.
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, what are some of the ways people think and dare say light lies that they believe about why they hide, why they isolate.
[SPEAKER_00]: things that we thought we thought no one would understand.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I can't bring this out like and everyone else's sex life is perfect.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like we're the only ones broken.
[SPEAKER_00]: No one will understand what we're going through.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think that's kind of something, some of things that people say.
[SPEAKER_03]: Or we're the only ones struggling with this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we're unique.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, we've had emails.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't tell you how many times I've had emails of people reaching out to us.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, we're online.
[SPEAKER_00]: People listen to our podcasts.
[SPEAKER_00]: We love our audience.
[SPEAKER_00]: But they'll reach out.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they'll say, I can't talk to you in my church.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't talk to my friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't talk to my past.
[SPEAKER_03]: Which, though, they're really truly the people that they should be reaching out to.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, and I, we always respond like, hey, God calls us to go to our brothers and sisters and Christ in our local body.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, we encourage, and we say, we love you, we're praying for you, go to them.
[SPEAKER_00]: That I think a big one is people think they'll get judged.
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is what's hard.
[SPEAKER_00]: This was hard about this one.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, cause you, you will get judged.
[SPEAKER_03]: But for the right reason.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hopefully, some people might judge wrongly.
[SPEAKER_00]: But that's one of the dangers and fears of being vulnerable is when we're sinning, you don't we need a righteous judgment.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not a condemnation judgment, but I'm a brother in Christ.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a sister in Christ.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know how that feels because I also sin, I sin in the same way, and here's what God says about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You shouldn't do that anymore.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's change together.
[SPEAKER_03]: So the world says, keep your life private.
[SPEAKER_03]: Don't let anyone in to see those messy parts.
[SPEAKER_03]: Only show the best parts, the curated parts, that way.
[SPEAKER_03]: No one can speak into those parts of your life.
[SPEAKER_03]: But the Bible says, do not neglect but rather pursue fellowship except accountability.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's necessary and be known.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the life of the believer.
[SPEAKER_00]: We are no longer our own.
[SPEAKER_00]: We've been bought for a price that's about us.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and we're apart.
[SPEAKER_03]: How can we be lights in this world if we are literally hiding?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I know it is not the sort of Jesus says you can't take a light and put on your lamp.
[SPEAKER_00]: No one does that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Or I said no one takes a lamp and puts it under a basket to hide its light.
[SPEAKER_00]: But that's what we do.
[SPEAKER_00]: We hide when we go into darkness as the Bible would put it.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what we're doing.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're like, I don't want to be a part of it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And God's like, no, come in.
[SPEAKER_00]: come back.
[SPEAKER_03]: And when you are being a light and you're being vulnerable to a point where you're you're sharing honestly and you're just having those deep conversations that spur on growth, we have experience how that courage that you have to do that really provides and gives other people courage to do the same thing.
[SPEAKER_03]: And that's where like true fellowship and community is at its best.
[SPEAKER_03]: That's when that's thriving.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I also feel like the closest relationships we have, the best relationships that we have, they haven't always been easy.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they've been, they're messy, and they call us out on our sin.
[SPEAKER_00]: We've called them out on their sin.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you work through those things and you repent and then you're like, oh, we're years later like, oh man, I'm so glad we worked through those things.
[SPEAKER_00]: Romans 15, once they're seven, Paul emphasizes how that should function, how they should work.
[SPEAKER_00]: It says, we who are strong,
[SPEAKER_00]: have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let each of us please His neighbor for His good to build him up.
[SPEAKER_00]: For Christ did not please Himself, but as it is written, the reproaches of those who reproach you fell on me.
[SPEAKER_00]: For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the scriptures, we might have hope.
[SPEAKER_00]: May the God of Endurance and Encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accordance with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
[SPEAKER_00]: Therefore, welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you for the glory of God.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the end result.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the end goal.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is what Christ is looking for is that the way Christ has brought us in and welcomed us.
[SPEAKER_00]: We are to welcome each other, that we should be in harmony with one another.
[SPEAKER_00]: And when there is disarmony, we're to work through it, to get back to harmony.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so this is what we're to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I love that it says,
[SPEAKER_00]: The strong have an obligation, like you're not, you're strong in the Lord.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have a right to just avoid the weak.
[SPEAKER_00]: Say, oh, I'll let them deal with their life on their own.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, we have a responsibility and obligation in the body of Christ.
[SPEAKER_00]: Say, I'm going to bear with the failings of the weak.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to be patient with it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to have an understanding for it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to wait.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's a beautiful balance that Christ has for us as Christians.
[SPEAKER_03]: I also have the encouragement at the end there therefore welcome one another as Christ is welcome to you and it's just that reminder that maybe once you find your community you find your church people that you are able to be open with and you're supporting one another and you have a good thing going like make sure that you're also welcoming others and you're being open to growth and that way.
[SPEAKER_00]: Totally.
[SPEAKER_00]: and they devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread in the prayers, and awe came upon every soul and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles, and all who believed were together and had all things in common.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we see this in Acts in the 1st century church and the 1st churches as they were happening is this picture of fellowship them coming together being in one accord listening to the Word of God.
[SPEAKER_00]: So this is not just showing up hearing a message in leaving, breaking bread, praying together that this is what they were doing.
[SPEAKER_00]: not just showing up and then leaving, and then having their own life and then, you know, having having this separation, but that they were doing life together, it was the only way to do it back then, and it's still the only way to do it, as we got to be unified.
[SPEAKER_03]: So in wife after God, it says this, it is not by your own strength that you operate to fulfill God's will.
[SPEAKER_03]: It is the very power of God that enables you.
[SPEAKER_03]: So everything that you're just talking about, that scripture and breaking bread together.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're doing it on our own.
[SPEAKER_03]: Doing the Lord's work and will.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's all through the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives that we're even able to do this.
[SPEAKER_03]: The way that we speak vulnerable and honest and openly and sharing one another's burdens, we're only able to do that because of the Holy Spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I have that courage that bravery to be vulnerable and to risk.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, that's what it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're risking everything in our flesh wants to protect us.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to protect my identity.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to protect my mind.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to protect my flesh.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it takes us dying to ourselves.
[SPEAKER_01]: Totally.
[SPEAKER_00]: It takes the Holy Spirit to empower us to find community and to walk in it.
[SPEAKER_03]: And what I love about it, it, you know, being the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives is it.
[SPEAKER_03]: That's the thing that connects us and why we're able to be unified and feel unified.
[SPEAKER_03]: In our marriage, you know, like when we're experiencing tension, we've shared this with you guys like we pray and the moment we pray we're humbled and that work of the Holy Spirit comes and just intercedes for us and helps us navigate hard things and he does that in the church setting as well with friends and people that were fellowshiping with.
[SPEAKER_00]: When Jesus ascended, God sent us the Holy Spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: So as believers, the Holy Spirit is, in fact, right now, if you claim the name of Jesus Christ, if you claim to be a believer in Jesus Christ, He lives in you.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's our advocate.
[SPEAKER_00]: He teaches us, He comforts us, He can fix us, He empowers us.
[SPEAKER_00]: He comes bearing gifts.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's not just here.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, actually, here, I have this gift.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not just the gift of salvation, but other things, like gifts for you to use, to benefit the body of Christ.
[SPEAKER_03]: And to reflect back, to glorify God and reflect the gospel, and to spread His word.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, he's our common thread.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's our connection to the Father.
[SPEAKER_00]: John 1425 through 27, the Holy Spirit will teach you all things and remind you of everything I've said.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's true.
[SPEAKER_00]: He reminds us.
[SPEAKER_00]: He brings to our minds the scriptures.
[SPEAKER_03]: First Corinthians 12, one says, just talks about the different kinds of gifts.
[SPEAKER_03]: We're going to get to in just a little bit, but just that, it says that it's the same spirit distributing them.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's him.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's not like I'm going to pick anything.
[SPEAKER_00]: God is deciding how he's through the Holy Spirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: How he's going to do this.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so the work of the Holy Spirit is significant in our lives.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we need to listen to that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we need to know that that's how it's working.
[SPEAKER_03]: and acknowledge him in that.
[SPEAKER_03]: That's why we pray, right?
[SPEAKER_03]: We're asking him to help us.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so the unity in the church is where the gifts of the Spirit come in.
[SPEAKER_00]: The reason we're given the gifts is not just to benefit us.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's to benefit the body.
[SPEAKER_00]: We've talked about this before about having good fruit.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like who's the fruit to benefit off the tree?
[SPEAKER_00]: Others.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like the tree doesn't
[SPEAKER_00]: the more trees are grown through the distribution of the fruit.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, when we produce good fruit and lives, when we walk in the gifts of the Spirit, when we walk in what God's got for us, and it'll be in obedience, it benefits other people.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what it's for.
[SPEAKER_00]: We've been telling our kids a lot lately, reminding them, like, hey, we need to be considering the interests of others, and not only our own interests.
[SPEAKER_00]: and this is as a marriage as a in the body of Christ.
[SPEAKER_00]: Our life is not just ours.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now most of it it's like we're we're just trying to like take the next right step but then we're like how has got using us?
[SPEAKER_00]: How is he using her home or money or time?
[SPEAKER_03]: And what's cool is when you're in marriage, practicing that and walking it out, you're taking your eyes off yourself and putting them onto your spouse.
[SPEAKER_03]: And I feel like that practice of walking in unity with each other really helps when you're then immersed in a Christian body and your eyes are not on your marriage, but you're on others.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so then you can be used to be helpful to other marriages, encouragement, helping rumors needed.
[SPEAKER_03]: There's a quote from wife after God that says one of the most influential ways God will invite you to join in his work will be in your marriage you and your this has been but I'll say space you and your spouse have a unique opportunity to help each other mature in your walks with God and to work alongside each other in God's will.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, the goal of our marriage is not that Jennifer has her thing that she's trying to accomplish in life, and I have my thing that I'm trying to accomplish in life, and it's like, maybe they work together somehow.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, at the end of the day, regardless of our career's jobs paths, our heart should be that our marriage is used as a tool for God.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: God, how do you want to use our family?
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you want to use us?
[SPEAKER_00]: Whatever you've given us, our hands are open for your use.
[SPEAKER_03]: Let's cover some of that.
[SPEAKER_03]: Those gifts that we talked about earlier, um, do you want to read Romans 12?
[SPEAKER_03]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_03]: So, um, for this is verse 3 through 13.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, for by the grace given to me, I say that everyone among you not to think of themselves more highly than you not to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.
[SPEAKER_00]: For as in one body, we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we, though many, are one body and Christ, and individually members of one another.
[SPEAKER_00]: Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them.
[SPEAKER_00]: If prophecy, in proportion to our faith, if service, in our serving, the one who teaches in his teaching, the one who exhorts, in his exhortation, the one who contributes in generosity, the one who leads with zeal.
[SPEAKER_00]: The one who does acts of mercy with cheerfulness.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let love be genuine, and I'm horr would as evil, hold fast to what is good.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love one another with brotherly affection.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would do one another in showing honor, do not be sloth one zeal, but be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord, rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer, contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
[SPEAKER_03]: So much good stuff in there.
[SPEAKER_03]: You guys, you're good.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can know you go ahead and say this is not an exhaustive list of the gifts.
[SPEAKER_00]: What he's saying is, do what God has given you to do, be available to the body of Christ, be used to bless others, over and over and over again, don't just think about yourself.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you have stuff to think about in your own life, but if that's all you ever think about, you are not a party of the body of Christ.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you never are considering the hearts and the minds and the lives of your fellow brothers and sisters, you're not operating in the body of Christ, you're not allowing God to use you.
[SPEAKER_03]: Um, not that this is like a checklist or anything, but my encouragement was just going to go back to what I said a moment ago about how when we practice and marriage.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's how much easier to go out and just others.
[SPEAKER_03]: And when you look at this list of things that we can do in it, you know, being empowered by the Holy Spirit.
[SPEAKER_03]: We can live this out within our marriages.
[SPEAKER_03]: We can serve one another.
[SPEAKER_03]: We can encourage one another.
[SPEAKER_03]: We can show mercy in all of it be motivated by love and likewise, go back to the list and say, are you doing this for your closest friends for those other marriages that are in need?
[SPEAKER_03]: And I just love that you can read a section of scripture.
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, and it doesn't highlight and say, this is a marriage scripture, but it applies to marriage.
[SPEAKER_03]: It applies to your relationships across the board.
[SPEAKER_03]: So I just I love it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I love a simple one, show hospitality.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, make sure your doors are open to other believers that they can come in and be loved on by you, fed by you, clothed by you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, that's a big deal.
[SPEAKER_00]: Is your backyard open to like have a backyard play time?
[SPEAKER_00]: Hangout time, enjoy the sun.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, whatever it got's given you to use, whatever it got's given you to enjoy.
[SPEAKER_00]: He also wants it to be enjoyed by other believers.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and to draw non-believers to him through by just our, our examples and ways that we walk.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: So talking about gifts.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, well, Paul transitions actually from spiritual gifts directly into the love chapter in 1 Corinthians 13 and, you know, love is the motivation behind all of it, but this quote from wife after God says this love is the greatest gift ever given and ever received love is God's motivation and reason for working in the 1st place.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we did it.
[SPEAKER_00]: We can do all this stuff and as 1st Corinthians talks about, we can do all this stuff and not if we don't have love.
[SPEAKER_00]: it's for nothing.
[SPEAKER_00]: If I'm only doing it because like look at me, look how good I am, look at all the stuff I've blessed others away, look how much I've helped others but then you have a bad attitude because it never gets reciprocated the same way and which I've been guilty of among heart.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've looked at things I'm like hey I'm always like I'm always doing this and it never gets returned to me and I immediately convicted of like well that's not why I did it and if I did that's not why I should have done it.
[SPEAKER_00]: God wants us to do these things in love it's why God
[SPEAKER_00]: sent his son because he loved, not because of anything else.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what he is and that's what he does.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and in scripture in that first Corinthians chapter 13, where it's talking in defining what love is, it ends with love never fails, which is so important for us to remember that, even when we have passed her, it's or things didn't work out the way that we wanted them to, or you're experiencing a really hard circumstance in your marriage, and you're having all these questions of things like you can remember that love never fails.
[SPEAKER_03]: God's love for you has never failed,
[SPEAKER_00]: be motivated by love when you're serving and on or got in your marriage by and I feel it necessary sadly to clarify that it's true biblical love never fails not our own version of it yeah that's true so that's good point practical next steps because there are practical things there's things that we can practice first one this is from I was never got stop avoiding it
[SPEAKER_01]: Explain.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, it's not avoiding true fellowship and sort of fighting it look for it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Actively pursue it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Go up to someone at your church and say hey, what are you doing this afternoon?
[SPEAKER_00]: You want to go get lunch and you keep doing that until someone says absolutely.
[SPEAKER_03]: And you know going back to unity and marriage What would that inviting look like between spouses?
[SPEAKER_00]: continue having like if you need repair like continue attempting repair attempts like trying to actively connect trying to actively work on your relationship.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, prayers a big way to connect with your spouse and with others.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I think we've said it a couple times.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know, but it's on the notes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Nice.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, praying asks God to bring God for you in couples in your life.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to mention there's going to be a lot of people listening.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're going to say, we've tried.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's no one around.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've heard this.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't, we can't find anyone.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's no good churches.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's no good.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just want to say, humbly, respectfully.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think that's true.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think everywhere a believer is, there are believers to connect with.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think we have too many walls up.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think we have too many criteria on the kind of people that we're gonna allow into our life.
[SPEAKER_03]: I feel like the room just got quiet, but it's just us, isn't he?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just, I think you're right.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like people are too afraid of being seen and known truly.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think we just need to, I don't think it's that we need to lower our standards.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think we need better standards, different standards.
[SPEAKER_00]: We need to actually be more vulnerable.
[SPEAKER_00]: And be okay if it's not exactly what you think it should be.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And just let it happen.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and really build up those relationships in your life, whether with your spouse or close godly friendships, and be willing to speak truth and love, and encourage each other, and be willing to fight for your marriage, be willing to fight for someone else's marriage, you know, to cheer them on and say, don't give up.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to say one more thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you're looking at your thinking, like, oh, we've tried, there's no one out there.
[SPEAKER_00]: No one even, we go to church, no one ever comes up to us and says, hi, no one ever invites us to things.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe God wants you to be the one to start all this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe other people are feeling, actually, other people are feeling exactly the same way.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe God wants you to be the one that initiates.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I said, stop avoiding and start initiating, start inviting, like be the one to go do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's your turn.
[SPEAKER_03]: There's one more verse here that I wanna read that just speaks to Unity.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so I'll just read it.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's Philippians 127.
[SPEAKER_03]: Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit with one mind striving side-by-side for the faith of the gospel.
[SPEAKER_03]: And I love that side by side, like just imagine like spouses standing side by side in faith, sharing the gospel like that your marriage is a reflection and worthy of the gospel.
[SPEAKER_03]: So this is so good.
[SPEAKER_00]: How else I want to remind us as Christians?
[SPEAKER_00]: We have to remember something.
[SPEAKER_00]: You are going to be an
[SPEAKER_00]: not just the ones that you like.
[SPEAKER_00]: The whole body of Christ is going to be an attorney with you.
[SPEAKER_00]: God's given us this grace of right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: We get to figure out how to do that even with sin.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because one day we won't have this flesh to tempt us anymore.
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll have a new body.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we're going to be with all believers, no more with these temptations of this life, no more with this sin nature.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like how cool it is that we get to figure it out now.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like angels are amazed.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're amazed.
[SPEAKER_00]: They look at us and they think, how do they do this?
[SPEAKER_00]: What do I don't understand how this works?
[SPEAKER_00]: And like we said, by the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling inside of us.
[SPEAKER_00]: So,
[SPEAKER_03]: Let's go.
[SPEAKER_03]: We end every episode with a quote from our book, Mary Jaffer God, that just kind of ties it all in together.
[SPEAKER_03]: And I love this one.
[SPEAKER_03]: It says, the symbol of unity within marriage has a greater purpose to serve than I husband and wife coming together for their own satisfaction or desire.
[SPEAKER_03]: The relationship between a husband and wife when they operate in obedience to God's word is the representation and reflection of the gospel.
[SPEAKER_03]: The redemption of man being reconciled through Christ to God.
[SPEAKER_00]: Go back to that picture of our marriages, what it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: Discussion questions, what fears or hesitations might you have about having other Christians be close to you in your marriage?
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, we talked a lot about going back in the last few years, yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: That early parts of our marriage, and when we went to that marriage group, and I was just thinking, like, I feel like embarrassment and shame were probably the biggest ones because I felt like those were the walls that kept me from being honest and open and vulnerable, like we weren't living up to the way things should be.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, for me, fear of rejection.
[SPEAKER_03]: I think I've been starting in the first place.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, fear of genuinely trying to be who I am and let people know who I am, but also to share my heart with people and things I see and then have, and be able to say stuff to me, but feeling like I'm going to be rejected as a fear.
[SPEAKER_03]: Here's another question, what benefits can you see in fellowshiping with a godly community of other marriages?
[SPEAKER_00]: Super fun game nights.
[SPEAKER_03]: That's true, we've had a lot of those.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: That's a fun one.
[SPEAKER_03]: And to the practical, well, I guess game nights practical.
[SPEAKER_03]: But I was going to say support during hard times, just going back to those moments where you need people.
[SPEAKER_03]: You need like the physical strength of people, or you just need a meal, or you need encouragement, or text message, or a meme, they're there.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's true.
[SPEAKER_00]: As you call the action, this is what you're supposed to try and do this week with your spouse, be intentional to pursue other believers.
[SPEAKER_00]: Dintantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantant
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and I'm going to just add on to this if you're already a part of a local church or community group, pursue a part of it this week, like reach out through text message or ask anyone how you can be praying for them and do it together with your spouse.
[SPEAKER_00]: and don't stop doing it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: I promise.
[SPEAKER_03]: OK. Dear Lord, we just come up for you right now.
[SPEAKER_03]: We just thank you so much for how your words speaks to this very significant element of your body, which is unity.
[SPEAKER_03]: And we just pray, Lord, that your Holy Spirit would enable us and give us the courage and strength to be unified.
[SPEAKER_03]: Unified in our marriages and unified in the relationships around us, we pray Lord for those who struggle to find community and are maybe in that place of hiding and we just ask that you would call them up and out of their hiding Lord and I pray that your Holy Spirit would give them everything that they need to participate in going to church regularly, joining those
[SPEAKER_03]: those small groups, Bible studies, whatever you have for them, Lord, I just pray for people to come around them, come alongside them, to cheer them on, to support them, and to build that honest, transparent friendship that you know, blesses, marriages, and we just pray, Lord, that
[SPEAKER_03]: If anyone is listening right now and they are hiding sin and practicing sin, Lord, I pray that your Holy Spirit would help them navigate and walk through the reconciliation process that they would repent and that they would come to you and receive forgiveness and walk in a new way and I just pray right now that just by doing that their marriages would be
[SPEAKER_03]: just built back up and I just pray right now blessing over everyone who's listening right now and I asked that you would give them the courage this week to reach out together as a couple to pursue community and the unity that you have for us in Jesus' name.
[SPEAKER_03]: Amen.
[SPEAKER_00]: Amen.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for joining us on week 23 of our 30 week marriage devotional series.
[SPEAKER_00]: We pray bless you.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you did, please share it with a friend.
[SPEAKER_00]: Go to shop.marriageaftergod.com, pick up a copy of husband after god and wife after god, which this devotional series is based on.
[SPEAKER_00]: We love you all and see you next time.